9)Will I have access to the company hooker?

8)Will you cover for me if my wife calls?

7)These are high speed shredders right?

6)Your wife is beautiful, she looks an awful lot like my ex.

5)Will you guys set up my offshore account or do I have to take care of that myself?

4)Look, I’m an accountant, playing with numbers is my thing, do the big boys want to make some real money here or are you content with your little scraps? (play this one by ear though)

3)Leadership skills? In college I was president of Sigma Chi and led a successful pantie raid on the Delta Delta Delta house. We even framed the Pikes for it because they had a reputation as the date rape frat. That shows I can lead and assess blame.

2)Where do I see myself in 10 years? Hopefully I’ll be sitting in your seat. I mean sorry, I’m sure your “retirement” party and severance package will be lovely.

1)Team building is definitely important. At my old job a colleague and I had a contest to see who could sleep with the most women in the office.

photo credit: flickr

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Fast food doesn’t get any faster than food from vending machines and it doesn’t get any slower than Greta’s digestive tract.

photo credit: personal collection

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Less than 200 days to do! So ok, that’s still like 1,999 days too long but what the hell can you do? At least the end is near…Dance George dance!

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Sterling is a Scandinavian based airline and from Amsterdam they fly to Stockholm, Copenhagen, Oslo and Bergen, Norway. Of course, if you’re flying from a major Scandinavian city there are many more European destination options.

Obviously with any good deal you have to be somewhat flexible in the dates you can fly. But when we booked our plane tickets on Sterling about a month ago we got a fantastic deal. A one-way flight from Amsterdam to Stockholm and then another one-way from Copenhagen to Amsterdam cost a total of 125 euros including all taxes and fees. Even with the poor US exchange rate that is only $190 per person.

This is an especially good deal for traveling to Scandinavia in summer, the only time the weather is actually decent. These weren’t even the cheapest flights for this time of year, but they were on the cheaper end and of course you can pay much more with Sterling.

Sterling makes extra money if you want to pick your seats ahead of time-15 euros. And if you want an emergency exit seat that’ll run you 25 euros. Hey, remember when those seats were for oh, for emergencies! Anyways, the cool thing is that they only charge 3 euros per checked bag, which is much cheaper than the $15 fees that the US airlines are starting to charge now.

So even with US dollars, in expensive Scandinavian countries, budget traveling isn’t totally dead. Look for a review on Sterling when I return!
image: flickr

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Happy Independence Day America! I’m sorry I can’t be with you to celebrate, but rest assured that I will be bringing 4th of July to the town of Kalmar, Sweden tonight.

So put some real American dogs on the grill, have some beers and watch some shit explode in the sky. Another wonderful thing about today…exactly 200 days left of George Bush!

photo credit: me

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The af Chapman is an HI Hostel (which sometimes includes very annoying rules like curfews, lockouts and genuine bullshit). But at the af Chapman there is no curfew and no lockout, and best of all the location is phenomenal. From the front of the ship you can see the royal palace, yachts randomly docked in front of buildings and the national gallery.

If you’re traveling on a budget (and single) the af Chapman is a great way to go. Just make sure to book ahead if you want to stay on the boat because they also have rooms in the adjacent building where reception is located. Apparently they just renovated the boat so the inside must be really nice. The only problem is that they don’t have private rooms; dorm beds currently start at around $30.

A better option for budget minded couples is the Red Boat Malaren hotel and hostel. The boat’s interior has a lovely decor and you can go to sleep looking out a small window, watching the beautiful city of Stockholm rest along with you. Private rooms run about $140 per night. My wife and I were going to stay there but there was no availability in the private rooms.

So instead we are staying on a different boat called the Rygerfjord Hotel and Hostel. Look for a review with pictures when I return!

photo credit: flickr

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Stockholm is one of the cleanest and prettiest cities in Europe and they have some of the fanciest 7-11’s you’ll ever see in your life! Not the insides but the outsides, in that some of them are in beautiful old buildings. Sure it’s a bastardization of their culture but ah, what can you do?

My wife and I will be staying in a boat hotel in Stockholm, then with some family of mine in southeast Sweden and then we’re planning to couch surf it in Copenhagen. It’ll be a little rushed but the days are long and we don’t plan to run around too much.

Anyways, even though I will be gone this site will not, look forward to posts all week including a post tomorrow about the advantages of staying on a boat in Stockholm!

photo credit: flickr

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From this day forward things just won’t be the same. Thanks for the great memories public smoking, you will be missed…

Smoking in Bars, Restaurants and Clubs: Long ass time ago-June 30th, 2008

photo credit: me

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Prescription drugs kill more people than illegal drugs. We also learned that nobody in the state of Florida died from marijuana in 2007.

The fact that nobody died from marijuana in Florida led me to wonder, is it even humanely possible to die from an overdose of weed?

June saw Europe go nuts with Euro Cup fever. So I decided to list 10 things that annoy me about soccer.

John McCain might be old and decrepit now, but in his youth there were times that his schlong had to work overtime. Here’s some straight talk on John McCain’s womanizing.

Something is wrong with American beef. So much so that Koreans are going completely ape shit over it.

Barack Obama clinched the democratic nomination on June 4th. It was a long road and I took a fun look back at the process.

photo credit: me

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Yup, sure looks like one.

photo credit: me

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