Crushable

Crushable Quotable: Chloe Sevigny Cried Every Day She Had To Wear A Fake Penis As A Transgender Hitman

Natalie Zutter — Thu, 17 May 2012 21:05:19 +0000

We figured that Chloe Sevigny has the cushiest transsexual role in pop culture right now: She’ll be playing stylish assassin Mia on DirecTV’s new series Hit & Miss. But it turns out the role had some trauma attached, mostly in the form of the fake penis that Chloe, playing a pre-op transsexual, had to wear. She told Australia’s Daily Telegraph that it took ninety minutes to get it fitted, a distressing experience that had her thinking she’d never be attractive again:

“I cried every day when they put it on. You know, I’m ample-chested and I have this on. I felt very exposed, and it was hard, very hard, having people so close to your personal parts anyway — who you’re not sleeping with — for an hour-and-a-half each day, to put it on.

“Then looking in the mirror… it was weird. I was lonely and I felt really unattractive. I was confused about my desirability — was I desirable? — in having put that on, and having men see me with that on.”

Of course, whenever an actress complains about feeling unattractive you have to take it with a big grain of salt. You would think that because Chloe is involved in every step of this TV-making process — that is, knowing that the penis is a prosthetic and being there when it’s put on — she wouldn’t be so worried about how she looks with it.

However, she could also just be doing some method acting in preparation for some of Hit & Miss‘ more powerful scenes. Coincidentally, Guardian.co.uk put up an article today discussing the show’s nude scenes and how necessary it is that we the audience see Mia standing naked in front of a mirror: Because she is continually tracking her body’s transformations, we have to check in with the incongruity of her breasts and penis as often as she does. And that’s worth some discomfort on both sides.

Photo: Guardian.co.uk

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Sorry Forbes, Justin Bieber Is Not A Venture Capitalist

TheGrindstone — Thu, 17 May 2012 20:40:45 +0000

You may have caught a glance of Justin Bieber on the cover of Forbes‘ Celebrity 100 issue this month, looking like a bewildered kid in his first suit. And then you may have noticed the caption beside him: Justin Bieber, Venture Capitalist. But this is not the most surprising business story of the year, like Forbes claims. Because Justin Bieber is not a venture capitalist. Technically speaking, Justin Bieber is providing several startups, including hot music startup Spotify, with venture capital, ie. money aimed at facilitating long-term growth. The idea to get Bieber involved in tech investing came from his manager, Scott Braun aka “Scooter,” who decided to wield Bieber’s social media power (Bieber has 21 million Twitter followers and 43 million Facebook fans) to invest in something that spoke to Bieber’s fans: social media. Braun (and Bieber’s money) went on to invest in a number of early-stage tech startups, including Tinychat, Spotify, and Stamped. The Forbes article points out that these investments are not equity-for-endorsement deals: Bieber, like more traditional tech investors, is investing cash. More »

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Video: Jooey Deschanel’s Siri Ad Shows It’s Not So Cute When A Boy Acts That Way

Jamie Peck — Thu, 17 May 2012 19:55:06 +0000

Jooey Deschanel Siri Ad – watch more funny videos

Hey girls! Like the Zooey Deschanel iPhone ad but wish she had an equally adorkable brother for you to fantasize about? You’re in luck.

The fine folks at Funny Or Die have just released a parody ad featuring “Jooey Deschanel,” a quirky man-child who shares his sister’s shaggy bangs, blue eyes, and inability to tell if it’s raining. I’m not sure why he has a southern accent, but maybe they were separated at birth and he grew up in Alabama?

As the ad progresses, it becomes clear that Siri is not enjoying his company, until she requests a final bath in his bowl of tomato soup. You know you’ve become unhinged when you’re driving inanimate objects to suicide.

Besides being generally amusing, this video highlights the fact that behavior that seems cute (to some) when a grown woman does it seems very, very wrong when exhibited by a grown man. Let’s hope the state home for manic pixie dream girls will make an exception to their unisex rule and let this poor guy in.

And for those who can’t get enough ZoZo, here’s another dude trying to replicate the ad:

And here is the funniest blog post I’ve seen to date on the subject.

(Via Buzzfeed)

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Firefly Gave Prometheus An Easter Egg/Shout-Out Ten Years Ago

Natalie Zutter — Thu, 17 May 2012 19:49:59 +0000

The folks at Blastr made a really awesome find today that proves that Joss Whedon‘s shortlived (but beloved) sci-fi western Firefly and Ridley Scott‘s upcoming thriller Prometheus actually exist in the same universe. At first I assumed that it was yet another fun piece of viral marketing from the Prometheus folks, especially after they made an in-character TED talk. After all, sci-fi franchises like Battlestar Galactica have included Firefly shout-outs since the series was cancelled back in 2002.

But what’s really cool about this find is that it was the other way around: Firefly‘s pilot episode had a shout-out to the Aliens universe and by extension this new film Prometheus. See, in the pilot “Serenity,” Malcolm Reynolds (Nathan Fillion) grabs a giant anti-aircraft cannon as the Alliance ships are bearing down on Serenity Valley. His view through the display was this:

You’ll note that at the top center of the display is the Weyland-Yutani logo with the interlocking letters. It’s clearly the same as the logo that has popped up throughout the Aliens movies and which has also been an integral part of the Prometheus viral marketing:

Of course, Joss Whedon did write the screenplay for Alien: Resurrection, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he had slipped in this reference while shooting the Firefly pilot. Now my head is spinning with all the possibilities of Mal Reynolds and Ripley moving through space in the same era, maybe even fighting over odd jobs… Yay for geeky shows referencing each other!

Photos: Blastr

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Video: Nicki Minaj Keeps Chris Brown At Arm’s Length In The Video For ‘Right By My Side’

Jamie Peck — Thu, 17 May 2012 19:04:33 +0000

How does the video for Nicki Minaj‘s “Right By My Side” (featuring Chris Brown) disappoint me? Let me count the ways.

First and most obviously, it features Chris Brown, who is still The Worst. The fact that I’ve known this for a while does not make it any less annoying. As an allegedly positive female role model, I’m not sure why Nicki Minaj thinks it’s okay to pal around with someone who, not too long ago, hit his girlfriend until she almost died and doesn’t even seem very sorry about it.

Then there’s the blandness of it all. This is by far the most “normal” (i.e. boring) video Nicki has ever done. Or single, for that matter. She wears drab colors, and barely raps at all. I get it that she wants to show different sides of herself, and she still manages to pull a few faces, but compared with the hallucinatory, cute/scary, candy colored visions of the past, “Right By My Side” falls a bit flat. Oh look, she’s with a man. Then she’s not anymore. And then she is! What groundbreaking territory for an R&B video.

Most irritating, though, is the way Nicki seems to want to have it both ways with Chris Brown. She wants the attention (positive or otherwise) that will inevitably come from working with the “controversial” singer, but she knows that appearing to work too closely with him will make people even angrier with her than we are now. So she confines him to some sort of grey alternate universe in which she rarely appears with him, saving 99% of the interaction for her love interest, Nas. Besides being the most superfluous part of the video, this is so not Nicki Minaj’s style. Nicki minaj commits to things. Go big or go home! Could it be that Nicki doesn’t want too much of Chris Brown in her video because it’s a decision she doesn’t fully stand behind?

I could never stay mad at Nicki for long, but this video just doesn’t do it for me. If it’s management that is to blame for this, I suggest she use her star power to stand up to them post-haste.

(Via Idolator)

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People Are Completely Overreacting About The Avengers‘ Adoption Joke

Natalie Zutter — Thu, 17 May 2012 18:42:49 +0000

If this isn’t a manufactured bit of controversy designed to ride the wave of a recordbreaking movie, then I don’t know what is. An editorial in The Washington Times has called out The Avengers for a “mean and unfunny” joke about adoption, but writer Andrea Poe has completely missed the point.

Poe and other commenters are taking exception with this exchange concerning Thor’s brother Loki:

Black Widow: “[Loki] killed 80 people in two days.”

Thor: ”He’s adopted.”

They claim that this punchline is an attack on adopted children by equating them with death and destruction. Poe reports that parents were upset after taking their kids to see the movie, because their kids came out of the film thinking that adopted kids were somehow bad. She really takes up the campaign, writing,

The hope now is, of course, that enough media attention has been brought to this unfortunate episode in this blockbuster movie that such blatant ignorance and bias won’t turn up again.

Sadly, that hope is unlikely to match reality anytime soon. Far more likely, this line is likely to be joined by many other offensive, stupid, callous jokes in future.

Hollywood has increasingly become a place filled with writers who are insulated and isolated from mainstream America and who find sophomoric bullying humor that wouldn’t be tolerated in a middle school as a pathetic excuse for a career.

Sounds like someone’s got a chip on her shoulder. There’s even a petition on Change.org called “Marvel Comics – Apologize to the Adoption Community!” Seriously. Poe goes so far as to suggest that if you replaced “adopted” with “Jewish” or “black,” the joke wouldn’t have made it past the first draft.

That’s true, but there’s a huge chunk of the story that everyone is overlooking: No one has quoted the movie correctly. Here’s the actual exchange—paraphrased because I saw the movie two weeks ago, but accurate in tone:

Thor: “Don’t go insulting Loki, he’s my brother, we were raised together, etc.”

Black Widow: ”He killed 80 people in two days.”

Thor: “He’s adopted.”

The “he’s adopted” punchline shows us that Thor has enough of a sense of humor to correct himself, and that he’s distancing himself and all of Asgard from Loki’s treachery. If anything, Loki should be celebrated as a nuanced study in the adoption narrative: Partway through Thor, he learns that his father has hidden his true parentage from him, and suffers a crisis of identity from this discovery. Doesn’t sound like the writers glossed over this dramatic arc at all.

Photo: Fanpop

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I Get That This Jersey Shore Shark Attack Trailer Is A Parody, But It’s Also Really Really Bad

Alexis Rhiannon — Thu, 17 May 2012 18:40:08 +0000

There’s a trailer for a new movie circulating the internet. It’s called Jersey Shore Shark Attack and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t ridiculous. It’s definitely a parody, so the movie at least knows it’s ridiculous. However, what I’m wondering is if it also knows that it’s terrible, or if that secret is limited to…everyone who’s seen the trailer ever. My only hope is that it’s terrible enough to inch its way all the way back around into funny territory.

Let me break this down for you.

First of all, there’s oil-drilling happening off the coast of New Jersey. Let’s assume for now that they’re drilling for suntan oil, because that makes as much sense as anything else I’m about to say. The deep reverberations of the drilling travel deep into an underground shark cave where all the albino bull sharks live and…AWAKEN THEM.

Meanwhile, onshore, everyone’s getting slutty and drunk and there are blowouts and yes, I can recognize the movie version of every single person from MTV‘s Jersey Shore. Especially Vinny Guadagnino…who is literally in this movie. As is Joey Fatone. Oh how the…mediocre have fallen.

But the fun isn’t made to last, as pretty soon every human who swims into, walks into, or stands near the ocean is being eaten by huge white sharks. (It’s somehow crucial to the storyline that they’re albino.) This means that any time a pretty girl stands near the edge of a boat, you can pretty much guarantee that it’s her last couple of lines before being devoured by an incredibly crappy CGI monster. Seriously. There haven’t been graphics this crappy since the eighties.

According to the blurb on the YouTube video, the point of the movie is that

“…the Preppies must work together with the Guidos in order to save the Jersey Shore and its inhabitants from another vicious slaughter.”

Sounds…awesome. Oh and it stars characters with names like ‘Nookie’, ‘J-Moni’, ‘Donnie’, and ‘The Complication’. I’m all for parodies, but it’s like we’re not even trying, here.

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The Super Talented Risa Binder Will Sing for You and Give You a Cupcake

Garnet Henderson — Thu, 17 May 2012 18:32:05 +0000

Recently, some of the Crushable staff had the opportunity to see Risa Binder perform live here in NYC. We were totally charmed by her bubbly, earnest performance and we couldn’t help but want to share her music.

Risa grew up in Maryland, performing in regional theater productions. When she moved to New York City, she was auditioning for Broadway shows by day and playing at open mic shows by night. She decided to pursue whichever career took off first, and that turned out to be her music. Risa’s songs playfully toe the line between country and pop, a very unique sound, especially in New York City.

To see Risa perform live is a blast. She’s a magnetic performer, and despite her status as a solo artist, she obviously works very collaboratively with her band. Risa’s passion for her music and her fans is contagious, as is her love of cupcakes.

Check out our interview with Risa below.

Crushable: Tell us a little bit about your band. You’re a solo artist, but you and your band seem to have a lot of chemistry.

Risa Binder: My guitar player, Ryan, has actually played with all these players before. We started out after I finished recording the album, my producer in Nashville got me in touch with Ryan. And we were doing a little bit of acoustic stuff together, and then he said, you know what, we should full band this whole thing out. And he said I have some players, let’s work it out. And so it started with the core of five of us, and then we added the backup singers, the two awesome girls, in the past three months. The harmonies just add so much to the live performance, and the guys all know each other, and I think that helps. Growing up in the theater, I look at this band like a theatrical performance. And so I feel like we’re all in this together, and I love going to rehearsal with all of them and then performing live with them as well.

How would you describe your sound?

I always say I’m a product of everything I’ve ever heard. I love great songwriters, like I grew up with James Taylor and Carole King and stuff like that. But my sound crosses the line between pop and country. I’m more along the lines of a Sugarland or Lady Antebellum when it comes to country. On the pop end of things, I would say, I could go on and on, but I grew up listening to Sheryl Crowe kind of stuff, and I’m kind of in the middle there somewhere.

How did you get started in music?

Well, I always wrote since I was six or seven. When I had crushes on boys I would write songs about them, and make my parents listen to me play in the living room. And I’m sure they were like, this is terrible, but they were really nice and encouraged me. So I just wrote to express myself. I always had a flair for the dramatic, and I’d play with my toys and make up songs about people who live across the street. That was always in my blood. When I was in college, there was this common room that had a piano, and I was majoring in theater. My best friend happened to walk by, and I was playing some of the songs I wrote, nobody was in there. And she was like, what are you doing? And I said, oh, I write songs. And she was like, you should do that. I never thought of it so much as a career, but when I moved to New York I was playing open mic nights to blow off steam from auditioning for Broadway stuff. And I said a prayer, like whichever one takes off first I’ll run in that direction. And the music took off faster.

How has your background in theater influenced your music?

I think that songwriting is all about telling a good story, and I learned how to tell really good stories from being in theater. And being in shows growing up doing regional theater. Again, being in a band, I think being in a show is the ultimate teamwork, and I think all aspects of music involve teamwork. Whether you’re writing a song with someone, or you’re in the studio with a producer who you absolutely admire and are scared to death of. Then when you bring the song together in rehearsal, to bring it live on stage, it’s all about creating. And then, so similar to the theater, it’s about connecting with your audience. That’s really what it’s about. Whether you’re singing a cover song that everyone knows, or you’re singing your own song, you have to make it so that there’s almost no difference between a cover song and your song. Even if people haven’t heard it yet, you still want them to connect to the story behind it.

Who are a few of your favorite artists to listen to right now?

Well it’s funny, because today on my Facebook page I asked what people listen to when they clean their apartment. Because I’ve been listening to LMFAO dancing around the apartment and cleaning. So I’m really on a kick for them right now. I like Rihanna, I like all kinds of music. On the country side, there’s a guy named Brett Eldredge whose voice is like out-of-control amazing that I just heard on my last trip to Nashville. I love Carrie Underwood. Again, I kind of cross the line. John Mayer, I love John Mayer.

What makes you different from some of the other female artists out there right now?

Probably the fact that I do sweet and greets at my show. I have a love of both baking and music, and so when you come see me live, at the end there’s always my favorite cupcakes from Baked by Melissa. I like combining these loves of my life, which are chocolate and singing. I think that because I do cross the line, my music can appeal to a lot of different kinds of audiences. It’s funny, because at a recent show, someone said to me, hey Risa, I don’t like pop, and I don’t like country, but I loved you. And that is the biggest compliment to me, because you just want your songs to transcend genre and have people relate to them.

What’s a typical day like in your life at this point?

Oh, it’s so crazy! Right now I’m sitting in a Kinko’s getting ready to do a mailing of CDs for people who are fans who have written to me on my fan page, signed CDs and stuff like that. Every day is totally different. I have some more phone interviews and things this afternoon, but any given day, I feel so lucky. Because let me just tell you, I have had every part time job in New York City that there ever was. And so to be able to have dreamed this five years ago and actually be doing it today makes me believe that if you’re specific about it, your dream can become reality. I’m getting ready to tour next week, for a radio tour. We’re jumping from Illinois, to New Orleans, and I’m performing at a coffee house in New Orleans at 11 o’clock at night, because people apparently drink coffee at 11 o’clock at night in New Orleans. But I’m so excited about it. And we’ll be jumping from interviews, to rehearsing with my band, to doing a show at night, and starting all over again the next day. That’s definitely at least the week ahead. This Saturday, I’m performing in my hometown [Columbia, MD] at this gig called Wine in the Woods (http://www.wineinthewoods.com/), where people bring picnic blankets and their kids, and they get drunk drinking wine. It’s so fun, I’m looking forward to that. And to go back to Columbia, Maryland. Growing up, I was in such a wonderful community that was saturated with art, and to go back and say thank you makes me so excited.

What has been your most memorable live show experience?

So far, my most memorable live show experience was opening for James Taylor. I was not aware that he was listening to my set. And at the end of the set, my boyfriend at the time was pretending to be my manager, because I didn’t have one. We performed on this open air stage in West Palm Beach, and I go to walk down the steps backstage, and he’s there and he starts walking toward me. My boyfriend’s trying to keep it together, and James Taylor is like, hey Risa, you sounded so great out there, how is it out there tonight. And I’m like, um, James Taylor is asking me how it is out there. And I just panicked, and the only thing I could think to tell him was that it’s windy. I was like, it’s windy. He’s like, it’s windy? And to this day I still keep in touch with his camp just to see what’s going on. And my band decided to go watch him from the front, and asked if I wanted to come. But I decided to stay backstage and just watch him from the back, because when am I ever going to be able to do that again? I just stood in front of his tour bus and watched him, and felt like, this is the best. I just can’t think of anything better.

What would you say has been the biggest moment of your career so far?

Right now, every time I walk into a radio station that is playing “You Made it Rain.” Just last week, I performed at the Bing Lounge in Portland, Oregon, and these 44 people won a lunch to see me. And I go in, and they’re familiar with the music, and some of them are singing the lyrics back to me. And it’s amazing, and it’s like a little window into what my dream would be every day. That’s one of the things I love about country radio, is that they love watching the journey of an artist. And they are excited about having you play for them, and I love how touchable everything is, you can really connect to your audience.

Risa’s album, Paper Heart, is available now. For more info, check out her website.

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Taylor Kitsch Is A Beautiful Human Being, It’s Just A Shame He Can’t Act

Jenni Maier — Thu, 17 May 2012 18:16:27 +0000

Poor, poor Taylor Kitsch. So beautiful and so untalented. Why does fate work like that and how did he pull off Tim Riggins so well on Friday Night Lights? Those are two questions I just can’t answer with my mere mortal brain.

The actor’s currently doing his press tour for Battleship and while reviews are saying his performance blows, photos are saying his appearance glows. So he’s a glower and a blower. (Which is something I’m definitely scared to look up on Urban Dictionary.) And while I will not pay to see him act in Battleship after falling asleep in his previous film John Carter, I will gladly stare at all his photos.

Even though his second big screen appearence will most likely not lead to any more acting offers, I don’t think he should give up on his career. He just needs to rethink it. Why be an action star when he can be a model?

A manly model who knows how to throw a football and appear capable of defeating aliens after they land on earth. Need more proof that the man should be a model? Just look at all these photos of his recent press appearances for Battleship.

(Photos: T-Kitsch)

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How Wool Is And Isn’t The New Fifty Shades Of Grey

Natalie Zutter — Thu, 17 May 2012 18:15:35 +0000

If you’ve been on Twitter at all today, you’re starting to hear the buzz about Wool, the $1 Kindle eBook that Ridley Scott and 20th Century Fox just snatched up the film rights for. The intense bidding war surrounding a project we had never heard of until this moment, plus the book’s dystopian setting, has people drawing comparisons to E.L. James‘ mommy-porn bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey.

However, this is less a case of lighting striking twice than it’s movie studios being more open-minded about the kind of material they want to produce. We’ve broken down the ways in which Wool and Fifty Shades are similar, and the ways in which they really aren’t.

LIKE – Bidding War: Deadline reports that Wool recently enjoyed a five-way auction that ended, surprisingly enough, in a publisher getting UK rights. Here’s the official synopsis:

Thousands of them have lived underground. They’ve lived there so long, there are only legends about people living anywhere else. Such a life requires rules. Strict rules. There are things that must not be discussed. Like going outside. Never mention you might like going outside.

Or you’ll get what you wish for.

Like Fifty Shades, it’s definitely word-of-mouth that got Wool on the publishers’ radar.

UNLIKE – Fanfiction Factor: Vulture got a lot of heat for tweeting about the deal earlier today and calling Wool another fanfic-turned-novel. Although the setting brings to mind The Hunger Games, that’s only because it’s the most recent dystopian work on our radar. That series’ success has brought in plenty of dystopian fiction, from Divergent to Matched, and none of them copy the idea of a deathmatch among kids or try to pass off Katniss or Peeta in new contexts. I’m sure that another fanfic will slip through the cracks someday and get published as legitimate work, but this is not that day.

LIKE – Self-Publishing Is Suddenly Cool: What the two novels do have in common is that both authors self-published. Hugh Howey self-published the book on Amazon almost a year ago and has garnered a majority of five-star reviews, not to mention that sites like Boing Boing and Wired have praised the book. It also costs only a dollar, so that makes it a lot more accessible.

As the deal now stands, Howey will continue to self-publish Wool in the U.S., but the UK publisher who bought it will have a hardcover copy out in January 2013.

UNLIKE – Humble Author: Howey seems to have a genuine sense of humor; when asked about the bidding war, he said, “I couldn’t be more thrilled and honoured to find a home with Century and Random House. And I hope I spelled honoured right.”

The coming weeks will reveal whether there are other writers out there who resent Howey the way that the Twilight fandom felt betrayed by E.L. James. But for now, I’m psyched to see another dystopian novel getting attention.

Photo: Durance Magazine

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