First there was Supreme Leader Shabazz Aladeen‘s public statement about the death of Kim Jong-Il; now, the Republic of Wadiya has its own official website. You can read along in either Wadiyan or English, and learn about the weather forecast — like 30 Rock‘s mockery of North Korea, it’s “sunny all the time” — as well as the history of this grand, oppressed fictional country.

Of course, the best part is Aladeen’s biography, which charts his humble rise to power after his six siblings were killed in horrible Hot Wheels-related accidents, as well as his generosity to his country. Some selections:

His mother was an Air France stewardess who tragically died of an oxygen underdose shortly after Aladeen’s birth in 1982 – this fact means he is now 30 years old. Any photos you may have seen of Aladeen as a child in the mid-70s, including a great one of him at the premiere of Saturday Night Fever, were doctored by the corrupt Zionist Western media.

Tragically, Aladeen’s remaining three brothers perished in a typical suicide pact by simultaneously shooting themselves in the back multiple times with automatic rifles.

Part of his research managed to confirm that there’s not enough oxygen for a political opponent to survive at altitudes higher than 45,000 feet. In the same experiment, he confirmed that there is enough gravity at 45,000 feet for a political opponent’s body to return to Earth when thrown from an aircraft.

Aladeen also hosts, judges and competes in Wadiya’s Next Top Model which he has won for a record 14 years running.

The site is worth poking around, including Aladeen’s recommendations for other websites, like the “high end hookers” at Victoria’s Secret and the “funny” Western joke site the UN Commission on Human Rights. Plus, it turns out Aladeen is a big fan of sporting events, as evidenced by this new TV spot about the Super Bowl:

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Yes. It’s true. Willow Smith, famous for whipping her hair and being conceived by celebrities, shaved all her hair off and tweeted out a photo. Like the rest of the world I heard the news and made a joke to myself about how her famous song is now null and void. Then I moved on with my day.

However it appears that not everyone was ready to move on three seconds after hearing the news. In fact, some people took it so hard that they felt compelled to tweet about it — and tweet about it enough that it became a trending topic.

So in no particular order, here are the best Twitter reactions to Willow shaving her head:

[Photo courtesy of ABC News]

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You’re really not going to like Goodman in a second: In February 2010, he ran a stop sign and crashed into the car of Scott Patrick Wilson, a kid home from college visiting his parents. It was a hit-and-run; Goodman didn’t even alert the police or an ambulance. And his blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit.

Goodman’s civil and criminal trials start up in March; he could face 30 years if convicted. He also stands to lose the trust funds he set up for his kids, which is why he formally adopted his girlfriend of three years, Heather Laurso Hutchens. Neither of his children are 35, which is the youngest they’d be able to access their money; because Hutchens is 42, she’s entitled to a third of the fund.

Interestingly, it’s only now that Goodman made this proactive step, that the parents of Wilson believe that Goodman’s money should be included in possible damages. “Plaintiffs view the adoption of Ms. Hutchins as a ‘game-changer’ and as grounds to now include the assets of the children’s trust, at least in some fashion, in the punitive damages calculation,” Judge Glenn Kelley wrote.

They also take exception with him adopting his girlfriend as opposed to a child in need. It seems they believe that Goodman would continue to control at least a third of the money — which hit $100 million in 1998 and has been increasing for the past 14 years — rather than providing for his biological children.

Plus, it’s just plain skeevy. If Goodman gets off, would they reverse the adoption? Judge Kelley added that with Goodman’s decision, the case’s many twists now “border on the surreal and take the Court into a legal twilight zone.” You can say that again.

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He tweeted out a seemingly positive message to LC, though he quickly had to explain himself since his and her fans probably called bullshit immediately:

@LaurenConrad Happy Birthday! Thanks for helping me find my miracle wife @heidimontag !

My birthday wish for @LaurenConrad is for her to find true love like #Speidi

I wasn’t being sarcastic! I really do wish the best for @LaurenConrad on her birthday! #forgiveandforget

Mentioning the friend that Lauren lost because she chose him over her, and trying to get “Speidi” trending again even though it’s a horrid piece of pop culture slang we’d rather forget? Yeah, not helping Spencer’s case.

Ultimately, Lauren ignored Spencer’s attempts at reconciliation since she has a job as a style guru and seems to be doing pretty damn well without the crutch of reality television. Instead, she posted photos like this one of her wearing a birthday hat and trying to open a Hello Kitty champagne bottle, and joked that no one had wished her a happy Groundhog Day.

But according to a friend, Lauren really just didn’t take her former on-screen enemy seriously because Twitter isn’t the place for genuine apologies. “Lauren loves using Twitter to interact with her fans and promote her brands,” the source said, “but obviously she doesn’t think it’s an effective way to apologize or try to mend bridges… In this case, like others, she’s going to continue to do what works best with Spencer and that’s obviously to ignore him.”

Heidi Montag must be in on the reconciliation idea, too: They sent some flowers off to former co-star Kristin Cavallari, who’s pregnant with her first child. “Heidi and Spencer actually sent me flowers, which was really sweet,” she recently told Us. The way they left things on The Hills, Spencer got kicked off after threatening the producers, and Heidi was convinced that Kristin was doing drugs. But apparently bygones are bygones for Kristin; maybe it’s the baby that has her so forgiving.

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Bullshit artists, watch your back! Blue collar feminist/TV star/macadamia nut farmer Roseanne Barr has filed documents declaring her desire to be the Green Party’s 2012 candidate for President of the United States of America.

No, really. “I am pleased to announce that I am seeking the Green Party’s nomination for President of these United States of America,” Barr said in a statement. “The Democrats and Republicans have proven that they are servants—bought and paid for by the 1%—who are not doing what’s in the best interest of the American people. As a long time supporter of the Green Party, I look forward to working with people who share my values. Behold the greening of America!”

Following her announcement, Barr took to twitter to clarify her motivations for running, namely, to bring attention to the issues she believes matter the most: jobs, healthcare, and listening to the voices of all Americans, not just the ones with money and power:

I’m not sure the Green Party represents the middle way between Democrats and Republicans, so much as “what the Democratic party would be if it had any balls/was not already bought off by corporate money,” but I still support most of her sentiments. It’s a shame Barr has little chance of winning, but if she can bring these important issues to the attention of the actual winner, her run will have been worthwhile.

(Via E!)

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Crushable’s proud to announce that starting this coming Monday, we’ll be hosting our first ever Fantasy Crush Week on the site. From your first celebrity crush to your first real life crush, we’ll be covering it all from every possible angle.

Are you already remembering your Leonardo DiCaprio shrine from 7th grade? Or maybe you’re picturing that cute guy from high school who you dreamed about talking to everyday and then finally hooked up with you at the end of the year? Or maybe, just maybe you’re thinking about the time you actually kissed a real celebrity crush.

Either way, we want to hear all about it!

Send your stories, photos and anything else you think we should see to Editor(@)Crushable (dot)com.  The best stories and photos will be featured on the site next week.

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Awkward family photos. Look @billyraycyrus always giving face! she wrote, referencing her dad Billy Ray Cyrus‘ feathered hair and sexyface from the days when his single “Achy Breaky Heart” dominated the airwaves and no one knew the name Hannah Montana.

Miley herself was born in 1992 when “Achy Breaky Heart” was first released, so we’re assuming that she’s the smallest gal in this photo (on the right, near mom Tish). I can’t tell for sure, but I think that means the two boys on the left are her older half-brothers Christopher Cody and Trace; and the girl holding Miley is her older half-sister Brandi. Miley was the first child of Billy Ray and Tish, with younger siblings Braison and Noah being born over the next few years.

It’s sweet that Miley can reminisce on memories like this with her family. In late 2010, it seemed as if her parents were going to split up after 17 years of marriage, but about a year ago, in March 2011, they called off the divorce. It seems as if the Cyrus clan has been happy ever since.

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Remember when Mario Lopez was the coolest cat in town. No one could sit backward on a chair quite like Slater could. Sure he was a misogynist pig, but it was the ’90s and the only thing that really mattered was who got to deliver Mrs. Belding’s baby in the elevator. Then Saved by the Bell ended and Mario Lopez resurfaced as America’ most generic TV host. Forget his macho swagger and his neon sleeveless tanks, he was all boring and all grown-up.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still yearn for the days of yesteryear. When people looked at him and thought, “wow, Mario Lopez is totally tubular man!” (If I recall correctly, that’s how they spoke in the ’90s.) In fact, I think we have pretty good proof that he wishes he was still Slater.

Meet Julio César Chávez Lopez, his foul-mouthed Twitter-savvy dog.

While Mario has to tweet things like:

@JulioCCLopez gets to tweet things like this:

It’s like he gets to live in the best of both worlds: advertiser-friendly reality TV show host world and 15-year-old teenage boy forever world.

[Photo via Petsugar]

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• Who has the best sex? (Betty Confidential)

• A note about the G spot. (The Frisky)

• Brain scan that tests how faithful a partner will be. (The Stir)

• What you can learn from going on dates. (College Crush)

• The type of sex all men love. (YourTango)

• Ridiculous things guys say. (Gurl)

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Madonna‘s video for the annoyingly spelled “Give Me All Your Luvin” dropped today, and besides being one huge commercial for the Superbowl, it criminally under-utilizes guest rappers M.I.A. and Nicki Minaj. Oh, Madge.

The video depicts the 53-year-old performer inexplicably frolicking with a bunch of football players while Nicki and Maya literally cheer her on, pleated skirts, pom poms and all. How Madonna got M.I.A. to dress up as a cheerleader is anyone’s gue$$, but her face betrays her lack of enthusiasm for the endeavor.

The best part by far comes when M.I.A. and Nicki each spit out a brief verse, but it’s over way too quickly. Despite being dressed in a ridiculous combination of Madonna’s “Material Girl” and “Like a Virgin” outfits, each woman has the presence and personality necessary to overcome the layers of subservience Madonna has swaddled them in. (M.I.A. in particular looks like she wants to use her make-believe gun to slaughter everyone around her.) Is Madonna really that much of a diva that she can’t let someone else upstage her for more than a few seconds? And without wearing an unflattering blonde wig?

On the other hand, she might be right to be scared of them. These two artists are peddling something much fresher than anything Madge has created in years, and the more she lets them do, the more painfully obvious this becomes. It seems like she’s taken the maxim “if you can’t beat them, give them a small part in your music video and Superbowl halftime show” to heart.

(Via Idolator)

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