Baatein Kuch Ankahee Si

Diwali in Deolali: Khushiyon ka Tyohaar

2024-11-10T02:22:00.006+05:30

As a kid of the early 21st century, I grew up watching Cadbury Celebrations ads during the festive season. Since I never had a sister of my own and, due to our army background, we never stayed with our cousins during festivals, it was the other ad that connected with me more.

The ad is where the son comes back home with a Cadbury box. Maybe because I have also seen paapa coming home for festivals during his field posting tenures. The sight of packed airports with domestic emigrants and desolate streets of megapolis weeks before Diwali serves as a subtle reminder of the incoming jubilation.

An empty coffee shop on a weekend
- an uncommon sight in Bangalore

Kuch meetha ho jaaye

Because of these beautiful reminders and personal transformation that I have undergone, Diwali holds a special place for me; more special than my birthday. & I don’t know how but every year, by the time Diwali arrives, everything (good or bad) starts making sense. I guess there is some subconscious thinking that allows us to free ourselves from anxieties, overthinking, and other predicaments of our lives as the ‘Kuch Meetha Ho Jaaye’ season kicks in!

I recently applied for a role change in my current organisation. More important than getting in, was for the results to be announced prior to Diwali. I manifested that if the result of the interviews falls in my favour, then it should be before Diwali.

Last year, I moved to Bangalore during the festive season - new job, new city, new friends & first house - sab naya. I wanted to create something special this year and continue the trend.

Since childhood, I have shared all my life updates (Sab Kuch!) with my family. If I were applying for a new role, they would receive every minute update of the interview cycle; mumma would even suggest the shirt I should wear for the interview.

This time, it was different. Hoping that I would clear the interviews, I didn’t share anything about applying or clearing one after another round. I had a feeling that if everything went well, then I would get to know about my selection before Diwali. & I didn’t want to break the news on a family video call. I wanted it to be our ‘Happy Diwali’ news.

I got in!

Happy Faces after
'Happy Diwali' news

I don’t know why, but this time, I had the urge to experience the Cadbury-vaali Diwali. I left home in 2022 and have been the main character of the Cadbury ad since then: the son who works in corporate, lives in a home away from ‘home’, and returns for Diwali.

Mumma’s eccentric relationship with smartphone

I have been a person who gets immense joy through gifting people what they need. ‘Needs’ hold prominence over ‘wants’ and leave a lasting impact, strengthening the relationship. When it comes to pampering the people I love, the accounting calculation of Income-expenditure often takes a backseat.

I've been struggling to talk to Mumma on a WhatsApp call for quite some time now. The video calls used to last about three minutes before testing both of our patience. Her phone was pretty outdated, and the 64 GB memory didn’t support her desire to capture each memory. Being the family coordinator, she needed a device that could always run uninterrupted!

No offence to Android users, but for me, Apple stands for uninterrupted. Yes, I wanted to gift her an iPhone. My new income allowed me the privilege of gifting her one. Having worked in personal finance, I’ve learned a few tricks for getting an iPhone at a heavily discounted price. But mumma belongs to a generation that believes an iPhone is only for the affluent, no matter the price. She would never accept it. So, I decided to gift her the best in Android.

Setting up a smartphone for parents still tops the list of challenges a child endures for their parent. Having done it five times now, the story never changes. & thanks to the ever-evolving nature of technology, I always find myself in a quandary when explaining how the smartphone works. Though the task gets your goat, the result - clicking the first selfie - fills you with delight and delectation.

Picture from Pixel

Paapa's essentials

My proclivity for gifting 'needs' worked wonders for Paapa's gift. Mumma had suggested a perfume for him, and since my knowledge in this area is limited, I had to rely on external advice when choosing one. I walked into the Forest Essentials shop, and the brand certainly lives up to its name. The perfume I chose made me feel as though I had stepped into a rainforest.

The timing of the gift couldn't have been better. One night before Diwali, when we were going to a Diwali party, paapa lamented about his finished perfume bottle.

Mumma and I had big smiles on our faces then. We knew we had the perfect gift for him!

Ayan's epiphany

Ayan is the cutest (read: sabse zyada bhaav khane vaala) member of our family. & his 'bhaav khana' disconcerted me when I was purchasing his Diwali gift. He has been the 'unofficial' brand ambassador of H&M since he entered teenage. I thought of gifting him a shirt from the same. Mumma had cautioned me that Ayan is very selective in what he wears & there is a high probability that he might not even wear the shirt if he doesn't like it.

I sent him pictures of shirts while I was in the store and asked for his suggestion, telling him it was for me. After spending an hour in the shop, I realized that Ayan already has almost everything H&M has to offer. Looks like H&M needs to step up their options!

Ayan is a sneakerhead, and he's been dropping subtle hints that he wants me to buy him a pair of sneakers. He’s been sending me Instagram reels about what older siblings should gift younger ones. Since I didn’t want to end up in another H&M situation, I decided to save up for his sneakers from Diwali onwards and buy him a pair for his birthday next year.

Ayan was thinking that there would be a Diwali gift for him as well and he was disenchanted to know that all I had was the information of saving for his Birthday Sneakers. The one thing that hasn't changed in my relationship with Ayan all these years is that he will stop talking to me if he is angry with me. Usually, I let time fix this. But it was Diwali and I wanted to fix it then & there.

That's how I fixed it; taking him out
for his bike accessory shopping

8 mahine baad gharwaapsi

The four of us were together for the first time since February. We have been living in four different cities for some time now. The quest to earn a livelihood often scatters middle-class households. Paapa got transferred in August. Usually, mumma would have gone to this new station with him.

It was different this time. This would be our last Diwali before we bid adieu to Deolali. So, mumma wanted us to celebrate Diwali there. The entire house was packed, and the truck carrying all our belongings was scheduled to leave a week after Diwali. The only reason we stayed in Deolali for two more months after Paapa's transfer was so that we could reunite for the auspicious occasion.

Diwali brought us ‘ghar'.

Dream Trip to the Valley

2024-09-17T13:42:00.009+05:30

After checking off a "Dil Chahta Hai" style trip to Pondicherry from my bucket list earlier this year, it was time for my next filmy trip. An organised trek in the Himalayas with a group of strangers (Ilahi plays in the background) – “Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani”. A slice-of-life film with travel as its background is perhaps the best genre ever created.

In the pursuit of visiting all the UNESCO World Heritage Sites in India, Valley of Flowers National Park was next on my list. After much research, I decided to go ahead with India Hikes as the trek organiser (my best travel decision this year).

Together with Nanda Devi National Park, these high-altitude West Himalayan landscapes encompass a unique transition zone between the Zanskar and Great Himalayas mountain ranges. Renowned for its remote mountain wilderness, these meadows of endemic alpine flowers (including the rare Himalayan Brahmakamal) are a true nature-lover's paradise.

Pushpawati meandering through the Valley of Flowers

Manifestations

The only thing missing from my filmy package was a companion. I rang up all my traveller friends before booking the slot. However, none of them were available. Some couldn't manage leaves from their workplace, and others had financial constraints. Not having found anyone to accompany me until 2 months before the trek start date, I had made up my mind that I would be going solo. However, since I believe in manifestations, I was hoping for someone to turn around.

It was then when Mudit’s text came - "Jeet tera next trip kab hai aur kahan?" Mudit is my oldest friend. We have known each other since we were 3 months old. After completing his Masters, he was looking for a break. I shared all the travel details instantly & he was onboard! & just like Bunny, I had found my Avi.

Avi & Bunny sharing a laugh

Itna zaroori hai kya yeh pahaad chadhna?

Like Bunny, I even had a "Kyun jaa rahe ho is kambhakat pahad pe chadhne?" conversation with paapa. Unpredictable weather is synonymous with the climate of Uttarakhand during the monsoons. The horrors of the 2013 Uttarakhand floods perturbed him. Also, a trip in the monsoons hasn’t been lucky for me either. He was insistent that I take this trip in September - when it gets all safe, but of course the valley would not be at its best then.

The news of 9 persons (in a trekking group of 22 people from Bangalore) dying due to hypothermia after getting caught in a blizzard in Uttarakhand, making rounds made matters worse. When this news came out, my parents were in Bangalore. One fine morning, when paapa was cursory glancing through the newspaper, he saw the news and broke it to Mumma, making her a consumer of second-hand anxiety. I had my "CBI enquiry" moment then.

From Silicon Valley to Bhyundar Valley

En route to Karchi (our base camp for 1^st night), we passed by the Panch Prayags and saw the colours merge like never before. For the past 1 year, I have been living a life straight out of Geography and History textbooks. Seeing Ganga emerge upon the confluence of Bhagirathi and Alaknanda was a reminder of geography lessons.

Bhagirathi (green) & Alaknanda (brown)
merge to form Ganga at Devprayag

The route reminded me of the landscape drawing in our childhood - two mountains & a river flowing in between. The omnipresence of this landscape in all of our primary school drawing books speaks a lot about our species. Human beings thrive in the mountains. We are either in the mountains or constantly dream of going there - dreams evident in our art form.

On Day 2, we trekked 9 kilometres from Pulna to Ghangaria and gained an altitude of 3200 feet. After interacting with my trek partner, I discovered that there are more people who don’t just think about travelling but actually do travel! Perhaps, the best part of going on an organised trek is meeting like-minded people fervent about travelling as much as you are. Had it not been the company of these wonderful people I was introduced to on Day 2, the trek would have been fatiguing.

The people who made Phoolon ki Ghaati special!

Summit Day - The day we cried at 15,000 feet

Back in 5th class, when paapa was posted in Siachen, we had gone on a day trip to Khardung La (17,500 feet) along with our unit. Everything that could go wrong at high altitude happened back then. Acute Mountain Sickness (AMS) had taken a toll on me. I remember spending my entire time battling nausea while the other kids were playing outside in the snow. This trip left a major impact on me.

Since then, the trepidation within kept me away from high altitudes. Inhabitant of the Deccan plateau for the last 10 years, I did make occasional trips to the Ghats. I even went on a trip to the Shivalik (Jim Corbett & Nainital) last year but nothing beats the upper reaches of the Himalayas when it comes to hiking in high altitudes.

To break my fear psychology, I took on the challenge of scaling Hemkund Sahib - perched at an altitude of 15,000 feet making it the highest-altitude shrine in the world!

Since I was there to overcome my apprehension, I grabbed every opportunity that could swing the difficulty meter needle to the extreme. During the last 1000 feet ascent, I took the route (stairs instead of zig-zag pathway) that we were advised not to take by our trek leader (TL), due to the energy drainage we would have already gone through by the time we reached there. The turnaround time of 1 PM due to the mercurial weather conditions post noon, made the hike more demanding.

Our TL was right. By the time we reached the point of choosing the route, we were depleted on both mental & physical levels. He had mentioned during the briefing that not a single trekker in his batch had chosen the stairs this year. Who would want to wreck their summit experience in the last 1000 feet? For me, this wasn’t just a test of physical capabilities but a mental endurance challenge as well. I wanted to do everything that was designed to break an individual. No doubt that the stairs were daunting but equally rewarding. Much to my surprise, I could witness more flowers in bloom here than I saw in Valley the previous day.

Upon reaching the summit, immersed in the divine energy of the shrine and witnessing the majestic Himalayas set around the Hemkund glacial lake, tears started rolling down everyone's eyes. Each one of us had our own reason to scale the summit. The realisation that we had overcome what initially looked like an insurmountable challenge was a testimony to our indomitable spirit.

Divine Setting

Personal Transformation in the Himalayas

For someone who likes to have things done in order, a monsoon trek in the mountains is disconcerting. You have no idea of what might happen next. Just 2 weeks before our trek start date, a devastating landslide on NH 7 - connecting Rishikesh to Govindghat (Valley of Flowers trek start point) disrupted the trek.

I have been a planner all my life. I like to prepare my itinerary much in advance. Kahan ghumna hai? Kahan kahan hai? Kahan rehna hai? Sab kuch! Not a believer of the "40 ke baad I will retire & ..." philosophy, I try my best to make the most of every trip. Since this was an organised trek, the itinerary was prepared by India Hikes. They had given us an option of visiting Badrinath on Day 5 after our descent of 3200 ft. I was all in for this. This was my chance to start the Char Dham Yatra.

However, on Day 4, after our descent from Hemkund, we were informed that due to a landslide on the Badrinath route, the probability of visiting the shrine had drastically reduced. This news would have disheartened the “planner” within me.

The mountains changed me for good.

All that mattered on Day 5 was that I was able to get past my fear. I wanted to cherish each moment of my last day in the mountains by descending slowly and enjoying the conversations with the wonderful people I met on the trek. The realization that soon everything would turn into pictures of my gallery hit me.

I have purposely started to leave something off every trip so that the “Bunny” inside me doesn’t overtake the “Naina” side. I believe the idea behind a good trip (& also life) is to balance the Bunny & Naina within you. But even today, I do plan my trip in a way that I can enjoy slow mornings at the sunrise point & “Solid Sunset bhi miss na ho!”

The Sunset that made us go crazy!
We were informed that the tiny snow-clad peak that appears orangish-white is
Nanda Devi - India's 2nd highest mountain peak

Pictures I clicked during the trip

Day 5
People in the Valley

Uttarakhand - The Land of Gods (Devbhoomi)

Homecoming

2024-08-22T11:55:00.004+05:30

If you are someone living away from your home, you might be familiar with this feeling. You yearn to go home and only once you reach, you realize you don’t miss home but the feeling (vo “ghar vaali feeling”).

The month of July was all about this feeling - Ghar se Dur, par Feeling ke Kareeb!

I feel one of the major signs of adulting is realizing that “Ghar” isn’t a physical entity. You get the feeling when you are around your coterie; having your comfort food; visiting those places where you spent your childhood.

The whole month I did things that either reminded me of Home – Shopping from Army Canteen; or felt like home - working from office feels like working from home! All thanks to the wonderful people I work with - Bangalore has started to feel like home.

Minimalism

For all those who have been living far from their home in a city that’s new to them, we hardly make an effort to seek permanence there. We live in makeshift homes that we will apparently leave when a better opportunity comes by; just like we did last time.

I have been living alone for the past 2 years now. I wasn’t looking for a “Ghar” when I moved to Bangalore from Hyderabad last year; all I needed was a place to sleep. No wonder I spent my first month in the city staying in a hostel. The definition of house that we learnt as kids - a shelter for human habitation that protects from torrential rain, scorching heat & chilly winters - resonated with me very well until recently. I had spent a year and a half in Hyderabad shifting PGs having the same belief that eventually I would leave. Setting up a kitchen, and buying furniture - Knowing my emotionality very well, I always felt that doing these things would hold me back. Also, since I have been striving to achieve minimalism, all I needed was a bed & a shelf for clothes.

My new company in Bangalore did offer me food. & thanks to my work shift - it covered both lunch & dinner. Not being dependent on PG food nudged me to move to a flat instead. However, even then, like every other “ghar se dur employee”, I used to look out for long weekends on the calendar to escape & go home.

Independence

This all changed in July. My parents came to my place on my Birthday in June. Paapa left early due to his work obligations, but Mumma stayed longer. For 2 years, I had gotten used to living alone to the extent that I forgot how it would be to share the place with someone. Neither did I have a gas connection nor the ingredients to make tea. Since I am not a regular consumer of caffeinated beverages, Café hopping on weekends used to work for me. Of course, spending ₹300-500 on coffee & ordering food on weekends didn’t seem logical to Mumma.

Ghar ki pehli chai

Little did I know that Mumma had come to Bangalore intending to make me independent of Swiggy/Zomato. In her presence, the transformation of my "Shelter" to "Ghar" was underway. Hailing from an army background, the Army canteen comes to mind whenever we think of buying necessities. Bought basic utensils, groceries & induction stove from there. In my attempt to be minimalistic, I hadn’t even taken the effort to buy curtains for my room.

The first step towards independence was to learn cooking - real food & not Maggi. I have learnt to cook my comfort food now - Khichdi & aloo chokha (mashed potatoes). The best part about eating food cooked by your own self is that you get to choose what goes inside the making of it. So, the health metric is in our hands.

Saturday rituals

That one cousin

Remember that one cousin/friend with whom attachment was to the extent that we started sulking when it was time for them to leave? Kishu bhaiya was that one cousin for me. I remember crying out loud when it was time to depart from grandma's home after vacations got over.

We bonded after a very long time. Although residents of the same city now, we didn't get a chance to meet much. Living far from his home, he used to look out for opportunities to return to his home. & I am hardly a resident of Bangalore since I am mostly out of the city travelling to distant lands. Also, he lives in Whitefield & my home is in BTM - I guess that explains why we don't meet much.

Dichotomy between Duniya Dekhna and Ghar Waapsi

The most important thing in my life for the past 1 year has been travelling. Travel has become an intrinsic part of my life. I am on a trip every 2-3 weeks. & therefore Railway Stations & Airports feel like home. That feeling of boarding a flight the next day pumps me up so much.

There is a duologue in the film Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani in which Bunny & Naina engage in a conversation that revolves around – Duniya Dekhna Vs Ghar Waapsi during their day trip in Udaipur.

Bunny - Tum jaanti nahi ki kisi anjaan family ke saath baithke unki life story sunna kya hota hai?

Naina - Aur tum jaante nahi apne puraane doston ke saath baithke, vahi puraane kisse dohraana kya hota hai?

I feel this dichotomy is beautiful - When you have travelled enough to realise that home is within. I travel to feed my curiosity about people from different places - their food, culture, religion, society. I want to see every corner of the world. But, in this last month, I became aware of things that make me feel at home.

Shopping for Dream Trip

My Moment of Truth

2021-09-05T17:02:00.002+05:30

It's been a month since I witnessed my Moment of Truth. We were headed to Bombay in the early morning (to avoid any congestion). It had been raining heavily for the past one week or so but we were blessed - not a single raindrop until we left the outskirts of Pune. Albeit, we experienced heavy downpour as South-West Monsoons had made an onset on the Western Ghats. & If you have been to Lonavala or even seen it in movies, you must be knowing that the intensity of rain is extreme, as you start approaching the windward side of Ghats.

Reports of Maharashtra Monsoon fury which lead to 300 + deaths had made my Paapa apprehensive about our trip by car. Being away from us (Posted in J&K), when he got to know that we were thinking of driving to Bombay, instead of travelling by train, he attempted many times to persuade us to not travel by car as we worried about the harsh weather.

7:08 a.m, July 30, 2021, Lonavala - we met with an accident. Long story short - if you would have even seen the condition of the car - you would be dumbfounded to even see me living - let alone walking!

All of us have heard people saying - "My life flashed before me" - Yes, this was that moment. In my first blog, I had mentioned my "Period of randomness". That was the phase in which questions like - What is life? What's its purpose? - were surfacing inside my head. After the accident - I found all the answers as I began the journey of "Life 2.0". In my "period of randomness", I was very concerned about my future & was in this belief that if I didn’t make it BIG (having delusional versions of BIG back then), then my life is a waste.

I am sure most people (especially in India) have gone through this phase. We live in a society where our intelligence is measured by how much Pressure can we handle which translates to how many exams are we competing for? How many people sit for that exam? What is the success ratio? How many tutions do you take? It's pretty amazing to realise that in such a "Diverse country" - these are the "concerns" of most.

I remember going for JEE (Mains) exam & equating my life to it in my head. If I failed this exam, then I would fail in life. My life won’t be worth living. However, in LIFE 2.0, I realised that "Jaan hai toh Jahaan hai".

ALIVE

I closed my eyes when the car went out of control. I remember nothing after until someone evacuated me from the toppled car. In that dark phase - I only prayed that "God, please save my mom". My mom was on complete bed rest for 1 year in 2005 due to Spinal cord issue. Although she recovered it long back, I was worried if it could exacerbate. I am glad that I didn’t think about my future when I closed my eyes. I am happy that the only thing that flashed before me in my moment of truth was my "Desire to Live" more. & we came out ALIVE!

Fear of Failure

My life 2.0 started with me getting rid of my fear of failure. I have realised that it doesn't matter how many times we fail, we always have the opportunity to stand up & fight another day. I have realised that as long as we live - we shouldn't be afraid of failure. Now, whenever I find myself in a predicament - I ask myself what is the worst that could happen? Our minds usually create "fake fears" due to overthinking. And when we literally put our fear at point-blank & question it - it doesn't come up with any substantial answer. & fear is gone before you go into self-doubt.

Yes, I was afraid of failure. But now I ain't. God has pulled me out of a Deathtrap, & gave me Life 2.0 - & this time I am choosing to make my days count, rather than counting my days.

Looking out for each other

When the car stopped, my mom was shouting mine & my brother's name. No one was found to be injured except me - glass pieces had pierced into my head. And like any other mom, my mom too went into SHOCK & couldn't stop crying after seeing my blood spread all over the place - road, car, airbag - everywhere. She was feeling guilty that how could she say "Yes" to me & my brother's wish to go by car despite paapa's caution. I knew at that moment that if I could somehow make my mom feel that I am absolutely ok - things would go a little smoother then. & I am proud of myself that I achieved it. Instead of worrying about myself, I started relieving her stress & getting her guilt out. In those moments, all that matters is someone just comes to you & say "Sab theek ho jayega, Don't worry". I am glad that I was there for mom. It was later that I realised that if I didn't stop bleeding then I might faint (which my mom was telling me since the beginning). I took out my shirt & put it on my head until the ambulance came.

How Gratitude changed EVERYTHING?

We get good at things we do repetitively. So if we continue to complain all our life, then we will have nothing but sorrow. However this same principle works other way also - the more we practise gratitude, the more we are bound to feel happy even in the worst of situations.

So what could have been the worst day of my life - became the "luckiest day" of my life. I realised that Happiness is a decision. On a day where we could have asked questions to God like - Why did this happen to us? Why are monsoons so harsh in Maharashtra? Why did the glass pieces get into my head? Or saying that Every trouble makes its way to our family only - we just couldn't stop thinking of all the "good" that happened.

When the car stopped in a toppled state, many people were ready to take us out of the vehicle. It was as if God had not just saved us, but also placed his angels around the car to evacuate us.

Among those people, one called the Ambulance. Another called towing van. Others were helping us with our luggage that was thrown over the road. The ambulance came & the paramedic did my dressing - removed the glass pieces & advised me to visit the nearest hospital.

These all people didn't even let us feel that we had gone through a tragic accident. We didn't have to make a single call to anyone. In fact, when I & mom were in the towing van - we were just recalling how gratitude & positive energy saved us! So basically we got enough dose of "good" on our so-called "bad" day.

Humanity is there

If you believe good people exist, they do! That strong is the game of belief. Belief makes people climb summits - swim channels - win Olympic medals. They aren't extraordinary - their belief is.

My domestic help (Anita didi) - who barely earns enough to feed her family- brought Apples (a fruit which even the middle class thinks twice before buying due to its high retail price) for us when she got to know about our episode. You could either be happy about these things or be sad that why didn't that guy with loads of money gave me something big?

My brother-in-law (Gaurav jija ji) has been an elder brother to me. He was there with us the entire day. He had already done the paperwork at the Car service centre, took out for lunch, drove us to the hospital (which is literally the other side of town - 25 Kms far) & then dropped us home securely. He made it easier for us to tell about the incident to paapa on phone. Thank you Jija ji for being with us through our thick & thin.

My cousin (Appu didi), whose home I was heading to, was ready to come, leaving everything, all the way from Thane to Pune to take care of us - as if it's not Thane to Pune but Thane to Ghatkopar.

My friend (Abhijeet), whom I woke up at 7:45 in the morning to know about Insurance paperwork. Instead of telling me that I will call you later or just hurriedly explaining details as he had just woken up, he cleared all my doubts & gave me the relief - "Kuch hoga toh batana"

Greater happiness is not in getting what you like but in liking what you get. ~HV Goenka

Moment of Truth

It's the moment when you get answers to questions - What matters to you? Who matters to you? Are you living your life or is life just passing by?

It isn't necessary that the moment has to be as tragic as a car accident. It can be your marriage or your child's birth. Each of us witnesses our moment of truth when we get to know what truly matters? When you get to know that it isn't the car you have been dying to buy or that new iPhone on the outlet that you can't get your eyes off, or the house you have been slogging for.

It doesn't matter what is your moment of truth, but what you do with the moment of truth is what matters.

Malala Yousufzai isn't known by the gunshot at her head by a Talibani gunman but by her "One Book, One Child" campaign.

After my incident, many people naturally share their experiences or their close one's experiences. & I have nothing but gratitude that I got to live another life!

GOLD! 🥇

2021-08-22T22:38:00.000+05:30

A Golden Day with the Golden Boy - Neeraj Chopra! I couldn't believe my ears when my mom told me that we are invited to meet the Olympian. He has done initial training in Army Sports Institute (ASI), Pune & therefore he was here to be felicitated by the entire ASI team. The current Commandant of ASI who has been acquainted with Neeraj for quite some time now happens to be my paapa's coursemate.

I am immensely grateful to my papa for this golden moment. Though he himself isn't posted here currently but made sure that his family gets the toast of their lifetime! Thank you paapa. I am profusely grateful to the Indian Army whose continued support for nurturing talent in Sports has brought laurels to our nation & made billions of people have goosebumps. I am acutely grateful to Commandant ASI - Col. Rakesh Yadav uncle - a very down to earth person - who made sure that not just his family but all his coursemates & subordinates - from Jawaan (soldiers) to Subedar, who could make it to the event do not miss the chance to attend this mesmerizing evening.

Pinnacle of Patience & Humbleness

Neeraj spent close to one and a half hour with us. I was observing him keenly to see his response to multiple requests of people coming & taking pictures with him. Some people seized this opportunity very well as they made a video call to almost all the relatives who could come on a call at that moment & made them have a small conversation with Neeraj. He was so patient with all the requests. He clicked every single picture with a happy face. He didn't let us feel for even a single instance that he must be tired as he had directly come to meet us after he landed from Delhi. He gave us such a homely feeling as if he was our brother or friend. People couldn't get enough of him & came to take selfies with him even while he was having food - he accepted all requests humbly. This man, who today is a "Hero" for more than a billion people in his 20s (an age when people often tend to be arrogant after accomplishments), is so patient despite all the stardom. If he as an Olympian Gold Medallist can treat us like his family then why do we choose to be arrogant after achieving something?

Interest & Hard-work is what matters

In all this while, I made some interactions with Neeraj. I asked him how was he able to overcome the challenges of being a Javelin thrower from a state (Haryana) which has much enthusiasm for wrestling. In our country, Sports isn't treated as a "nice" profession to take up forward. We all like to cheer for our Olympians but hesitate to say YES to our child's dreams. Taking up a career in Sports & that too in an unconventional one - he must have had to face a lot of discouragement from society initially. He answered that by saying he never thought of making it this BIG! He just followed what he liked & was content with the fact that he followed his passion. He told that even if he wouldn't have made this big then also he would have cherished his journey. By his words, one can make out that he is a follower of Nishkama Karma philosophy of Bhagavad Geeta, in which Lord Krishna asked Arjuna to not worry about things out of his control i.e. results but just focus on what you can control i.e. hard work you put in. & when you honestly put in hard work, you don't wait for results to make you happy as you know in your head that you gave your best shot & that feeling in itself is incredible. The outcome matters, but it's your effort & your honesty with that effort that truly takes you distances.

I am the kind of guy who usually forgets to click pictures & take autographs when I happen to meet a celebrity as I am so engrossed in observing their attitude & curious to know their journey till now. This also happens when I meet friends or family after a long period. One can say that I am still living in "Purana Zamaana". Luckily, there were many millennials around me, grappling on Neeraj. Seeing their struggle to take pictures with the Golden Boy, I too got reminded of me being a millennial and made an attempt. I was fortunate enough to have some good clicks with the Champion.

Sunshine in Chaos

2021-05-02T18:48:00.000+05:30

“Live each day as your last” might worry you more today than motivate you to live at your best. Almost every day, we hear our country breaking its own record in the Covid-19 tally. People have lost their loved ones and are struggling to find hope. Evidence suggests that India might have to go through more Covid-19 waves (after this one gradually slows down) if the vaccination drive remains anaemic. So how do we get ourselves back up from trauma as this virus doesn’t seem to go easy on us?

Joy of giving

Scientists have discovered that our brain is hardwired for giving. You might come across this thought that “How am I in a position to help others when I need it the most?” But trust me, when we give our endorphins kick in giving us a natural high feeling & our cortisol levels also drop (icing on the cake). Scientists actually call it the “helper’s high.”

Last week our division had our first review of our mini-project by professors. I was apprehensive about it since it was my first ever solo engineering project. Some friends of mine (with their hope) asked me how to prepare for the review since it was their first time too. I helped them with whatever knowledge I had (even though I was worried about my situation) and it gave me immense pleasure. Whenever you are in a position to help someone, just do it and be glad. Because God is answering someone's prayers through you. Don’t think about the scale of your “help”: it might be giving a juice packet to your security guard or helping your mom in household chores or helping your domestic help register for vaccination if she isn’t aware of the process or giving a patient ear to a friend who has lost a loved one. Giving fills your Karma bank with positivity that doesn’t let you dwindle in the storm. In these troubling times, be a Sonu Sood to someone! 😊

Gratitude

Whenever you feel that “only bad things happen to you” or the “whole world is against you”, just breathe and dwell on the thought that at that very moment, from the perspective of many, you have a lot! You might be anguished about not getting to step out of home for many months but at the same moment, some people couldn’t even arrange a proper funeral for their family member. You might be complaining about the crumbling health infrastructure but at the same moment, there will be many struggling for ways to fill their O2 cylinder. Last year I saw many people saying on social media that “2020 is the worst year” before it had even finished. When we label a situation, person, day, month or year we give little room to our mind to look for any positivity. Our mind then processes our feelings & doesn’t let us see positive. I am not asking you to be Panglossian, but practising gratitude. Refrain from labelling things and have hope that things will get better.

Never regret a day in your life. Good days give happiness, bad days give experiences, worst days give lessons, and best days give memories. ~Richard Feynman

Hope & B+ve

Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. ~Shawshank Redemption

There is something inside you which the virus can’t kill & that’s your hope. Spread the contagious virus of HOPE. We need it. This too shall pass (Waqt hai, guzar jayega). Medicines only work if you have hope. Don’t think that the world will end or will you even live tomorrow? Just breathe & make each day count. Be a light of hope in people’s lives. Don’t get panicked or let fear overtake you.

Fear doesn’t prevent death. It prevents life. ~Buddha

Anger

Many have rightly demanded accountability from the political class which prematurely declared victory against the virus. Demanding accountability from your leaders is the way to keep them under “checks & balances.” Of course, none could have predicted the sheer scale & speed of 2nd wave but we surely could have better prepared rather than organizing political rallies or encouraging religious congregations. Some have expressed a lot of anger also on politicians, the private sector, black marketers etc. We often think that complaining helps us process our anger but research confirms that even people who report better after venting are still more aggressive. Today our country needs empathy so invest your precious bank of energy in helping, rather than blaming. After all the public has its own share also in taking the blame by not adhering to Covid appropriate behaviour. However, don’t forget this anger. We get to exercise our vote every 5 years, so this time vote wisely according to “issues” that matter and not according to who has a larger fanbase or who a great orator or just because he/she belongs to the same caste or religion as you do.

People you can rely on during a crisis are leaders in disguise. ~Kunal Shah

I would recommend everyone to create new habits to increase their immunity during crisis: Meditation, Reading, Writing, Exercise (breathing ones also). Maintenance of the body is better than going for its repair. Spend time with nature. I pray for the safety of you and your loved ones. Stay Happy & Lively!

Why we shouldn't complain?

2021-04-24T00:09:00.003+05:30

This Pandemic has wreaked havoc in everyone’s lives. Who would have wondered that there would come a time when there would be a shortage of oxygen & deathbeds?! Unabated uncertainty has become a novel norm. Students have gone into mental depression and anxiety since their academics and school/college life have been in a turbulent phase for a very long interval now. They haven’t met their friends or got an opportunity to socialize. A fixed routine of attending online classes and staying locked indoors at an age when students interact with new people, experience new things every day, discover opportunities, can indeed raise cortisol (stress hormone) in the body. In such chaos, complaining is natural.

I am currently pursuing mechanical engineering (3rd year). I did my entire 3rd year & a bit of 2nd year through online classes. 3rd year is the year when “real engineering” gains pace since it is the time when students work on projects, do internships, start getting worked on their resumes, build their LinkedIn profiles and discover career options. Many in my batch are tensed about their future since we hardly have any practical knowledge (which is a must for an engineer) of our domain, and we wonder if in such circumstances any good placement offers would come our way. Life is unpredictable but when you get an uninterrupted session of unpredictability, it bedevils you.

Since childhood, I have been this kid who plans everything and then works accordingly. Pandemic was a massive earthquake for me since there was a wave of uncertainty for a kid who liked things in a “planned” way. Being overwhelmed about my future, I went through a “low” phase in this period. First, I did complain about “Why is this happening to me? I was all set for my future.” At that point, I didn’t think of other students who were going through similar circumstances or even worse. The technical recession in our country started got me overthinking about my future employment. I started getting worried if I would be able to secure a decent livelihood or even sustain the one which my parents have bestowed me with? I couldn’t figure out how I (“planned kid”) landed in this mishmash. My self-confidence had nosedived.

However, now when I look back upon my “period of randomness”, I consider myself blessed to experience it at the beginning of my 20s. This phase has been a book of learnings for me. I started meditating. I read books, watched videos, heard podcasts, in my quest to know the purpose of life. I learnt that the 20s is the period of discovering yourself and not getting settled in your comfort zone. I moved from being too rigid to being flexible about my life. Rather than getting worried about my future or disappointed about my past, I have started seizing the day. I started designing my habits and updating my beliefs in lieu of working towards a goal and clinging my happiness to it. I realised that the essence of life is not in what we want to become but who we want to become? It’s your identity, & not outcomes, which matters more.

“Accept things, the way they are” is a phrase that we often get to hear from our well-wishers. We mostly tend to take this (& most life learnings) as a usual phrase, ignoring its cardinality to lead a happy life. I cognized its significance in my low phase. I had complained about the circumstances when the pandemic flooded my plans. The moment you crib, your energy which should have been utilised looking for solutions, instead gets diverted in blaming the situation. Gradually it becomes a habit, and later a part of your identity. You hardly take notice of this insidious habit, but it makes you think negative even in the most positive situation. You might even find yourself surrounded by luxuries, but still cribbing since you have become used to it.

One fine morning, I found an old uncle (70s) on his morning walk with a fractured hand. When I asked that it might have hurt a lot, he replied with a smile, “Kuch nahi hua beta. Yeh sab toh life mein hota rehta hai.” At such an age, his positive outlook towards life dazzled me. You might find a person much younger than him complain about it if asked the same question.

“Accepting things, the way they are” is exactly what Phunsukh Wangdu was trying to tell us through his life mantra of “All is well” in 3 idiots. By the way, I would recommend every reader (especially students) who are reading this piece watch that phenomenal movie again. You learn life-changing lessons from such movies with age. I would also recommend every reader to read the book “Atomic Habits”. It’s a perfect guide for everyone who is trying to break bad habits & build good ones.

Whenever a situation jolts you, instead of complaining about it, choose how are you going to respond to it. Our response is the only thing which we have authority upon. Either you can crib or you can look for solutions. Looking for solutions doesn’t necessarily guarantee that you might even find one, but cribbing will not only not help you with solutions but also harm your identity. Therefore, look for solutions without expectations. If you don’t find them, then it’s totally fine. Failure is not the opposite of success, but a part of it. At least in the process, we might learn something new about ourselves.

“Whatever happens, happens for a reason.” You might find this phrase a little bit cliché or call it nonsense (as I earlier did) but trust me, this is where our key to happiness lies. It doesn't mean sitting on the couch all day long and not taking any action, it simply means accept life as it comes, and don't try to force things to happen. Good things take time. Once we make it a habit to look for positive in what others might see as a negative situation, we would be able to reach new milestones every day!