babble + bloom

four years.

2013-05-03T16:02:00.002-07:00

Today is my fourth blogging anniversary. Um, what now?

Seriously, though, I almost skipped right past today without even realizing it, and that would've been a shame. I spent all day today trying to figure out how I could take my ceremonial yearly outfit photo in the middle of a workday, kicking myself for not taking it before I left for work this morning at (ahem) 6:30 AM-- yeah, that wasn't going to happen. Instead, we get a grainy mirror shot taken rumpled & frumped after a long workday. Really, though, this is much more indicative of life right now. I remember previous years planning and scrounging for just the perfect 'blog-o-versary' outfit-- which was lovely, when I had time for it.

Right now is the season of all grad school, all the time-- 60+ hour workweeks, late nights writing papers, scrimping paycheck to paycheck with hopefully a real-salaried end in sight, learning how to separate 'work Mary' from the rest of me, but frankly, loving every second of it. Yes, I am a bit pulled in every direction right now, sure, I might be wearing a little thin-- but I know it's all good things. Last year I wrote about seeing every years' May 2nd outfit photo and remembering exactly how my life was at that moment, and this year is no different. Next year's picture will hopefully represent the fruits of this labor I'm in right now, but at the moment, I see frazzled, yes-- but I also see crazy happy, and that's how I know I'm doing all the right things.

cardigan: avon; belt: heartbreaker; polka-dot jeans: buy here; shoes: target

Here's to four years of internet-ing with you all-- thank you for sticking with me. Hopefully there are many more ahead of us :)

ps. if you'd like to check out previous years' blog-o-versaries, click here. Don't judge my early photos, puh-lease :)

Sunday Morning Poetry: excerpts from...

2013-04-28T08:18:00.002-07:00

For the longest time, I posted some of my favorite poetry on Sunday mornings (archives here), but I stopped because it started feeling like a chore, and well... no thanks. But I recently stumbled across an awesome poetry tumblr-- below are just a few of my recent favorites.

from finnula butler

It starts with your breathing.
Everybody’s lungs are heavy with something-
mine; half tar, half hope.
We carry our own life belts
inside our ribs.

I saw you in my dream and life started that next morning
and it starts walking home in the rain
under stars that hold no solace
and it starts with fear and
it starts with the tonic chord.

I can’t tell you how it ends but
it will have been worth it.

-4/27/13

Everyone who terrifies you is sixty-five percent water.
And everyone you love is made of stardust, and I know sometimes
you cannot even breathe deeply, and
the night sky is no home, and
you have cried yourself to sleep enough times
that you are down to your last two percent, but

nothing is infinite,
not even loss.

You are made of the sea and the stars, and one day
you are going to find yourself again.

-1/4/13

Peaceful eyes and falling, rain-kissed hands;
silence, for all of its terror, is kind.
Inhaling old truths over our morning coffee,
you look up to the empty clouds shuffling by
and I look at you as if you are the sky.

-4/12/13

No more pauses for a breath
you are never brave enough to take,
no more waiting for a train
that always brings you back to the very same place.
No more settling.
Start walking, start running, start burning.
No more lying down with the lies that bind your chest
and call their shackles safety.
No more watching the clock and waiting for the dawn to call you up,
be afraid.
The heart, you know, is a literal fist of blood
and I can’t think of anything stronger than that.
Be afraid,
until the only thing we have to lose is time.

-4/5/13

daily outfit: currently.

2013-04-18T13:18:00.003-07:00

Let's be real here for a moment: sometimes you have oodles to say. And sometimes you leave a post sitting in your drafts folder for six weeks because the words just aren't coming. So! Let's try something new today, shall we?

currently

wearing: this dress from eshakti. (thanks, ~~captain obvious~~ mary.) Can't wait for it to get a smidgen warmer so I can wear it without freeeezing!

listening to: brave, by sara bareilles-- call me maybe mashup, by us-- teach me to know, by the lone bellow

snacking on: trader joe's dried green mango (like if mother nature made sour patch kids, okay. yum.)

reading: a homemade life, by molly wizenberg-- for the thousandth time. I adore all travel + foodie memoirs, but this one is maybe my favorite.

inspired by: my pretty house DIY pinterest board-- the DIY home decor bug has bitten me hard, you guys.

what are you currently up to?

24 Things: rosemary ham & swiss quiche with simple sweet potato crust

2013-04-02T05:00:00.000-07:00

First things first: I am terrible at naming recipes. If I make something and it involves more than like, three ingredients, I will try to smush all the main players into the title and therefore create something more novel-esque than title-worthy. If you haven't noticed... I don't mince words.

Second things second: holy buckets, you guys. This is flippin' delicious.

I have loved cooking for a long, long time, mostly which I can attribute to spending lots of time with my mom in the kitchen since I was an itty bitty. My mother is an excellent cook, but unfortunately, due to my dietary restrictions, some of my favorites of hers don't work in their original state anymore. This year, for my 24 by 24 list, I made Paleo-ize an old favorite recipe one of my goals, and I am happy to say I think I accomplished this quite nicely with my latest kitchen experiment.

My mom's quiche is pretty easy and very tasty, a simple ham & swiss pie that was one of the first things I ever attempted on my own in my teeny college kitchen back in the day. This time around, I've swapped a traditional wheat-based pie crust for a layer of thin, savory sweet potato rounds & topped it off with a tasty twist on the original ham & swiss filling. It came together in less than 30 minutes, and makes the perfect breakfast/lunch/dinner for the rest of the week. Um, yum!

Ingredients:
For the crust:
Sweet potato (I used two small, just eyeball it ;))
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1/4 c. milk (I used canned coconut milk, but any unsweetened, unflavored milk will do)
about 1 t. rosemary

Preheat oven to 350 F. Slice sweet potato into thin rounds, layer in your pie pan, covering bottom of pie pan twice, overlapping. Sprinkle rosemary over sweet potatoes. Whisk together eggs & cream, pour over potatoes. Bake for 10-15 minutes, until eggs are mostly set, remove from oven.

For the pie:
4 eggs, lightly beaten
1/4 c. milk (same as above)
Ham, sliced, chopped or cubed (I like TJ's sliced rosemary ham, but it does have some added sugar)
Swiss cheese, either shredded or chopped into small pieces
salt & pepper

Whisk together 4 eggs with milk, salt and pepper for the pie. Layer sliced ham on top of crust, following with a layer of swiss cheese. Pour egg/milk mixture over the top, and bake in oven for another 10-15 minutes until eggs are set and browning on top.

And voila! A super-simple, primal (easily strict paleo if you omit cheese) quiche that's perfect for paleo & wheat-eaters alike.

daily outfit: luck o' the (not actually) irish

2013-03-26T04:00:00.000-07:00

A quick story for you all: I am not actually Irish, contrary to popular belief. My (full) name is Mary Kathleen, my sisters are Shannon & Erin. Every year on March 17th, my mom cooks corned beef and cabbage, and every year of my childhood living with my parents, I gagged on the stench of crock pot cabbage that filled the house for a solid 24 hours (Sorry, mom. I like cabbage now!)

tee: swapped; green jeans: goodwill; boots: gift

I've always wanted to be a little Irish, though, but it's clear I'm not. Three years ago when I was living in London, a hop skip and a jump from Ireland, my sister & brother-in-law came to visit over St. Paddy's day. Instead of making our way to celebrate the day like the Irish do, we went to Paris instead. Whoops.

Regardless, there must be a leprechaun out there who likes me, because lo and behold, the day before St. Paddy's, I stumbled upon a little pot 'o gold at the new goodwill out in the 'burbs. Along with some other goodies, I found these incredible, brand-new-with-tags green jeans. I was convinced they were too good to be true-- because ladies, I have hips and a bootay, and let's face it-- sometimes, it's hard to find bright green pants that don't make me look like a shamrock shake.

But these-- ohhh, these. They are perfect. I rocked them immediately the day after I bought them (to avoid a St. Paddy's day pinching, of course), but I can foresee these babies getting good use all year long.

Moral of this story: luck o' the Irish? Not actually exclusive to the Irish! Sweeeeet. :)

five quick ways to survive the last winter days

2013-03-20T04:00:00.000-07:00

So, this winter thing. (grumble, grumble).

Seriously. It is still frigid winter here in the not-so-great snowy north, and y'all, I am WEARY of it. I just do not have it in me to trudge through one more mountain of snow, to wear one more itchy sweater, to biff it on one more patch of ice. I am done-zo.

However, Mother Nature doesn't seem to agree with me, and as I tell my nannying kiddos: you get what you get, and you don't get upset.

(grumble, grumble)

In the interest of making the most of this last (hopefully!) little winter kick-in-the-pants, I've compiled a few ways to enjoy the endings of winter before spring heads our way.

1. Wear all of the fun, wintry layers you can before it's suddenly one thousand degrees.

Technically, layers don't feel fun anymore. What I wouldn't give to show, like, an ankle's worth of skin without getting frostbite, but there are some styles I know I'll miss once it warms up. Scarves: check. Cute winter hats: check. Tights: check. Slightly weirdo knee socks over boots (my fave): check and check!

2. Turn on your twinkle lights & cuddle up under a blanket. Seriously, this is a biggie. I love nothing more than being cozy, and in during summers in my A/C-less apartment, I will not tolerate anything even remotely heat-giving within five miles of me once we hit those 90-degree days. Milk it now, friends.

3. Make hearty food. Again: once it's warm enough to go bare-legged, I rarely find myself reaching for my recipes for soup, chili, stew, etc. Which is a shame, because let's face it: not only are recipes like these almost stupid-simple, they are tasty like whoa. Might I suggest my favorite potato leek soup, or the world's best-best-best chili ever?

4. Shop the sale racks. Now is the perfect time to see what's made it to the ultimate clearance section at the department store or peruse the sweater section of your favorite secondhand shop. So many people eschew the winter-clothes-sales once they've begun to get cabin fever, and I get it. But now is the time to snap up some cute, deeply discounted winter wear for next year, or hey, even this year if your area is having a few more cold snaps like mine is. Push past all of the swimsuits at Tar-jay, baby, and dig in the goldmine that is the 75%-off rack!

5. Revel in excitement for all the goodness spring brings. We can all likely agree that 90% of the time, anticipation is even more fun than the actual experience itself, right? And I've always said that my favorite part of the seasons are right at the beginning of the change-- from summer to fall, fall to winter, winter to spring, etc. Looking ahead to all of the lovely things that are yet to come is a wonderful way to get excited! Window shop some cute new styles, fantasize about the day your bare legs will see the sunshine again, eagerly eye your rainboots, knowing that soon your winter boots will have to make their way into storage again.

The moral of this story: I had to give myself a literal peptalk the other day as I trudged through the snow, hell-bent on whining about this lingering below-freezing weather. I had to remind myself that of course it will get warmer. Change is one of those things we can rely on, right? In the meantime, dwelling in the wants of the future is guaranteed to make me miserable, and enjoying the right now is a much, much better use of my time. I plan on milking these five steps until the very last of the snow has melted right off the ground and the first bloom pops up. While we're in it, we might as well have fun, right? :)

all images found here.

daily outfit: I do love a good boat neck

2013-03-18T04:00:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, there lived a young girl (spoiler alert: it's me). At the ripe old age of oh, nine, maybe ten? this girl was optimistic, a teensy bit idealistic, and naturally, loved a good romantic comedy (spoiler alert: not much has changed). Every weekend, this girl's family took a trip to the movie store & every single week, this girl chose one of two options: Father of the Bride, part II (I know, I was weird.) or You've Got Mail.

dress: c/o eshakti; shoes: macy's

To this day, I can still quote every single line from You've Got Mail (and do a pretty mean Franck impersonation, but that's for another day). Anyways! This story has a point, and here it is: there was a scene in the movie right before Meg Ryan is supposed to meet Mr. NY152 where Kathleen is wearing this boat neck dress that I swear to you, ten-year-old Mary thought was the prettiest thing on the planet.

Looking back now, I can see that dress is pretty plain, but I just adored that boatneck. I needed that boatneck. Nevermind I wouldn't be able to fill out that boatneck for another, oh, three years or so, but whatever. I was a girl obsessed.

coat: old navy

Ever since that movie, I've just had a thing for this particular collar style. There's something about it that's so timeless, so classic, flattering, so demure-but-sexy. So when eShakti offered to send me a dress (!) of my choosing & encouraged me to try out their custom styling, I immediately picked this one (hello, beautiful) and snatched up the chance to switch out the regular crew neck for my beloved botaneck.

(hello, pretty details! also, it's got pockets-- zoinks!)

Let me tell you-- I am in love. Also because I tend to fall on the shorter (ahem) end of the spectrum, I had the dress shortened to just above my knees as well, and truly, I couldn't be happier. The dress is the perfect sweet, summer dress, super flattering, crazy comfortable, and fits my #1 requirement: I can see myself wearing it equally to a wedding or something fancy as I could just wear it on a warm summer day hangin' around town.

So thank you, eShakti, for the pretty pretty pretttty dress that I shall spend all of my days flouncing around in once the weather finally hits above 40 degrees (can you see the look of frozen terror in my eyes? I couldn't feel any limbs by the end of this shoot, stupid winter). Thank you, Meg Ryan, for teaching me from early on that boatnecks >> plunging necklines every time, and thank you, balance, for not failing me as I hovered on the edge of this very precarious stone wall in teeter-y heels. Forever and ever amen.

three seconds later I tried to let go of this pipe and almost fell 2.5 feet to my death. <- I'm a drama queen.

The Redhead Saga: or, why I stopped makin' my own shampoo

2013-03-15T11:19:00.000-07:00

In case you didn't know, I have always wanted to be a redhead.

It's not that I didn't love my brown hair-- quite the opposite, actually. I loved how it was more golden-y than anything, how it got natural highlights in the summer, how it eventually found its way back to auburn as the leaves began to change. But there's something about being a redhead that I just wanted to try, ya know?

So last week, I took the plunge.

BAM! This was after step one, two, three, four, a thousand.

So I enlisted one of my BFFs and off we went to CVS to buy our weight in red-ish hair dye. (Only partly kidding. My hair is thick, y'all.) We listed to terrible radio pop and I sat in a chair that only made me tall enough to the see the top of my head in the mirror and she went to town puttin' dye all over my hairs. We sat. We watched tv. We waited for our Chinese food. Eventually, I washed it out, dried it, straightened it, the whole shebang.

And wouldn't you know: the crown of my head looked lovely. It was the beautiful dark brown-y auburn red that I've always wanted.

The rest of my hair, though... was still brown. Um, what?!

I've never really dyed my hair before, so I while I wasn't sure what the exact protocol was, I was fairly certain the dye was supposed to go all over your head.

The next day, I had the chance to see someone at a salon, and I snapped it up. Some sort of piña-colada-y scented detox shampoo (what?!) and two point five hours later, my whole head was, well-- red. It was almost exactly the same color the crown of my head had been the day before, just shinier and more complete.

While she was working on my hair, my stylist asked what kind of shampoo I was using. I told her that I make my own shampoo (this recipe) & conditioner (apple cider vinegar). And she told me it was probably my that same beloved shampoo that did wonders for my hair that had prevented the color holding.

I was bummed, you guys. I initially made the switch because of a fear that I had been reacting to some chemicals, and ever since I did, my hair has never been happier. It was super clean, shiny, bouncy, I could skip a day wash if I wanted to (something I could never do before), I didn't need curling products anymore because it just found its natural curl without product weighing it down. But clearly, it wasn't the wonder solution I'd always thought it was when I started, so I went back to a store bought shampoo, sans parabens/sulfates/pthalates.

And guess what? The world didn't end. I'm still not wild about the few chemicals in it (searching for a better replacement for next time), but honestly, it's the perfect example of what I always try to practice/preach: do the best you can, with what you have, where you are. I try to make as many of my beauty products as I can, but I still buy some natural products and --gasp!-- use conventional makeup. Perfect isn't attainable, but 'the best I can' is-- and that's where I try to stay.

And the best part? I'm beginning to see that redheads are actually the ones that have more fun :)

Do you have any hair-dying stories? I wanna hear 'em!

Obligatory blog reader post :)

2013-03-14T20:25:00.002-07:00

Like many, many, many of you, I've been moving all of the gajillions of blogs that I'm apparently subscribed to (seriously... it's a little outta control.) from my google reader account to bloglovin' ASAP. Feel free to follow my blog with bloglovin' if you'd like :)

eShakti Discount Code!

2013-02-28T16:33:00.001-08:00

Okay, so I'm currently experiencing this weird affliction of being totally psyched & inspired to blog and having zip/zero/nada time to do so-- so, please forgive my absence :) I'm hoping for a little catch-up time during my upcoming (spring) break from school & clinicals-- BUT! In the meantime, I wanted to share this discount code the lovely people from eshakti shared with me. Type MARYLANGE when you check out for a sweeeet 20% off!* Code is good from now until 3/10/13. I'll be back soon with a review of some goodies eshakti sent me, but in the meantime, make sure to peruse their gorgeous spring styles and report back if you pick anything up!

*also, can I just say that you really feel like you've made it when your name becomes a discount code? Made what, I'm not sure entirely. But I'm thinking this is probably the equivalent of winning an Oscar or Nobel Prize or something.

**also also: I get nothing for you using my discount code except for the wonderful feeling that I just helped you not pay full price for clothing, which is basically my life's mantra. Amen. Over and out.

21DSD: five things that sugar has taught me

2013-01-23T05:00:00.000-08:00

Well, here we are-- done with three weeks sugar-free, & plenty to say. I feel like I've already covered the beans-spilling in a previous post, so I won't delve much further in depth here. But I do have a few reflections on my experience, and where better to share them?

[x]

1. My body doesn't feel good filled with sugar. And I don't just mean the refined white sugar we've all become accustomed to associate with the word. Even too much of the natural sweeteners like honey and maple syrup still trigger an unhealthy response in my brain, and it messes with my 'hunger meter', triggering some unwanted habits, and I fall down the rabbit hole from there.

2. Cravings for sugar are usually cravings for something else. It's been said before, many times, by many more eloquently spoken than myself. But sugar is never something my body needs-- it's something it wants, usually to fill the gap of something else. I keep this article pinned to my home page for a quick read whenever I need a reminder of this, that sugar is a distraction, a band-aid, a symptom-treater, usually for something greater. "Jonesing for love is like jonesing for sugar. They feel the same way in the body. They show up in the same addictive behaviors. Eventually, I figured out that looking to a boyfriend of a snickerdoodle to fill a hole is handing my power away to something outside myself." Read it. It's a good one.

3. I can take my tea without sweetener (and coffee, as well-- who am I?) Tea has always been my hot beverage of choice, and typically, I drink most cups with about a teaspoon of honey. I mostly drink herbal teas (with the exception of my beloved 'black tea with milk & sugar' habit acquired studying abroad), and wasn't about to give them up for this detox, so I simply eliminated the honey. And the sweetness I always thought I needed was unnecessary (a teaspoon of coconut oil in hot tea, though, is surprisingly delicious-- try it!). This is definitely a practice I will continue with post-detox-- and maybe, instead of refined white sugar in my english breakfast, I'll demote to honey. It's a process.

As far as coffee goes, I'm still not a 'plain black cup of coffee' girl. But I will order plain lattes from the coffee shop or make myself a cup of bulletproof coffee at home when I am craving the taste and not need any sweetener. That said, coffee still turns me into a spazzy space cadet, so this is a very rare occasional thing.

4. Avocados fix everything. I'm not going to hop on a holier-than-thou horse (sidenote: I am quite skilled at the metaphor mixing, if I do say so mahself) and say that you can fight a craving with pure willpower. There may be some that can manage it, but I am not one of them. I am still in the process of learning to use food for its intended purposes, and if I need a crutch, I'm going to do some damage control and pick the best possible option. Avocados with lime, salt and hot sauce (and occasionally a sprinkle of parmesan, broiled-- you can thank me later) are the perfect mix of the good, filling fats, salt & flavor that I am craving, while doing little to no damage, mentally or physically. Find what that food is for you-- the one that can quiet the craving and still feel like something decadent and delicious but nourishing, keep it as a backup at any and all times.

5. There are ways to still live your life and use this sugar-free thing as a tool. As someone who still preaches the 'most things in moderation' mantra, living this way without sugar forever and ever amen is simply not sustainable. Even when I chose this paleo-ish lifestyle, I never wanted to be the girl who couldn't go out and have a beer with friends, a cupcake at a birthday party, etc. This is obviously not how everyone does it, but it works for me. I do know, though, that when the scales start to tip too much in the other direction, I now have a good resetting tool to bring me back to equilibrium. At the moment, the plan is to participate in a few sugar detoxes a year, every time I feel like I need a little help on the 'balance' front. This feels good and healthy and normal to me-- so I will keep this as the plan, and see how it goes.

And that's that! I had a great experience, learned quite a bit about myself, dropped a pant size (! sorry. It's still exciting, even if it wasn't my intended purpose) & felt a real difference in the way my brain responds to food. I'm so grateful I gave it a chance, and am looking forward to trying it again in the future.

zero to crunchy: all-natural chocolate dry shampoo

2013-01-21T14:14:00.002-08:00

Alright, so let's merge some worlds here: I've been abstaining from sugar for 21 days now, and it's been mostly lovely. But some things are hard and fast facts, like how I don't care how long you've kept it from me, I will always want all the chocolate (and all the cheese. But that's another post for another day). In order to keep myself sane while my sweet tooth took a vacay, I've been indulging in other avenues of chocolate-y goodness. Enter: chocolate dry shampoo.

I grew up with just a mess of crazy, easily-manipulated-by-the-elements curly hair-- which, if you'll notice, I still have. But switching from conventional products to my own, homemade hippie woo-woo concoctions have helped tremendously in the manageability of my hair, and for the most part, I use zero cream/gel/external products on it anymore-- except for this one. Besides working as an awesome all-natural dry shampoo, this is a great mid-day texturizer, volumizer, de-greaser, etc. Also, bonus! I nearly always get complimented on how good my hair smells. Find me one drugstore product that makes you smell like cookies-- sorry, Clairol. We win this one.

Chocolate Dry Shampoo
(obviously, works best for brunettes/redheads + darker--light-haired adaptation below!)
1/2 c. cocoa powder (any kind)
2 T. cornstarch or arrowroot powder
-Mix. Store in glass jar. Sprinkle a teeny bit in your hand, put it on your hairs. Le end.

For light hair: The cornstarch/arrowroot powder is your main ingredient here-- you will lose a little bit of the benefit from the cocoa powder, but not a whole lot. You can mix your cornstarch/arrowroot with baking soda in a 4:1 ratio if you'd like, but my favorite adaptation is to simply add essential oils to your cornstarch. See below for a list of my favorites!

Notes & Adaptations:
-You want an 8:1 ratio here, so if you choose to make more, just follow those specifications. Just know that a half cup lasts an incredibly long time-- I've been using this for a year & I'm only halfway through the bottle!
-If you want to scent your dry shampoo even more, try adding a few drops (start with 3 drops, go up from there) of essential oils. If you're adding to your cocoa powder-based shampoo, my favorites are peppermint oil or sweet orange oil, but feel free to experiment with others if you're not a fan of these (but I promise: you will smell like a thin mint and/or one of those crazy crackable chocolate oranges. It's pretttty sweet.) Light-haired girls, this is where you're not bound by scent mixing! Add your favorite essential oil (lavender? basil? lemon? the possibilities are endless!) & go to town.

Recipe: grain-free 'pad thai' (or close enough)

2013-01-10T06:38:00.001-08:00

Whoa. Yesterday was... awesome. First of all, hello new readers! And thank you-- really, so much-- to everyone who commented, tweeted, emailed, sent good juju, etc. to me after my post yesterday. All of your comments and heartfelt responses meant so much to me, and only made it that much easier to publicly share something that I have been holding back on talking about for a very long time. It is my goal to respond to you all individually, so if you haven't heard back from me yet-- just wait! It's coming :)

Now! With that being said, let's move onto something a little lighter today, shall we? Pad Thai. I mean, yum. In my pre-grain-free days, pasta and I were BFFs. The giant swimming pool o' mac & cheese at Noodles & Co used to be maybe my favorite fast comfort food EVER. Unfortunately, when I do dabble in the art of refined carbs now, they just tastes blah and bland to me. But that doesn't mean I still don't love a warm, quick, 'pasta-ish' meal from time to time. And thus was born this veggie-based pad thai* that I am humbly deeming the best thing ever. Even better-- for those of you following a no-sugar protocol like myself, it's the perfect quick and easy meal that still fits every specification.

Grain-free Pad Thai
adapted to be paleo-friendly
from this recipe
- 2 c. shredded green cabbage
- 1-2 c. sliced mushrooms (optional veg: sprouts, carrots, peas, seriously--go nuts.)
- crushed or minced garlic
- Coconut Aminos or Wheat-free Tamari
- 1 Egg
- Garnish: hot sauce, a squeeze of lime, cilantro, etc.

In a hot pan, melt some a cooking oil (my favorites are coconut oil, ghee, or grassfed butter), toss in your mushrooms and cook down until desired softness. Remove from pan, add in garlic to taste and shredded cabbage. Cook until cabbage has begun to soften, but still has a little bit of a crunch. Add a few shakes of coconut aminos or tamari to taste, and then move cabbage off to the sides of the pan, leaving a small hole in the middle for your egg. Crack egg into middle of the pan, and begin to scramble, slowly incorporating cabbage from the sides of the pan until fully mixed. Add mushrooms back in. (Extra protein in this dish would be delish-- I just didn't have any on hand. Chicken, shrimp, whatever floats your boat!) Garnish with a squeeze of lime, cilantro, and a few generous shakes of hot sauce (you can use sriracha if you'd like, but let's be real: all I had on hand was Frank's and it was still delish. I heart choo, hot sauce). Enjoy!

*let me just say right now: I get it. I know this isn't really pad thai-- I know it's not authentic and there aren't even peanuts, for crying out loud, but it is an excellent substitution, and a great way to get lots of veggies & good stuff in, deliciously!

21 Day Sugar Detox: sugar & a disordered brain.

2013-01-08T14:55:00.000-08:00

You know how I said there were some parts of my history with food that were a bit dark & scary-- parts that I wasn't necessarily ready to share, some places I wasn't necessarily ready to go on the internet? Well, we're about to go there.

I want to say right here and now: if you have a disordered history, this may be triggering for you. Please, for your wellbeing, if you know that's you-- skip this one, come back tomorrow. If you're looking for a light-hearted chat & aren't prepared for a little soul-bearing-- I ask you gently, skip this one, please come back tomorrow.

[x]

There were a lot of things I was expecting with this real food "detox" (while I am beginning to love this concept of no sugar, I simply cannot stand that word)-- no blood sugar spikes, better energy, clearer skin, perhaps even a little weight loss. But of all of the things I was expecting, the effect on my mental state was certainly not one of them. As you can likely glean from what I've said thus far, I have a history with disordered eating. I have spent many, many years fighting against my body and using food as anything other than fuel/enjoyment/etc. Though I would say I've been safely out of the woods for a solid three, nearly four years now, I still struggle with the ramifications of all of those years waging a war on myself. It wasn't until I went paleo/primal over a year ago that I began to understand hunger and fullness again, that I began to feel stronger than my past.

But given my experience & career (in the mental health field) I knew that food could only take me so far in fully healing the wounds of the past-- the emotional stuff always needs to be tackled in order for anything to work properly. And I was-- tackling it, that is. But still I came up blocked. I was using food as a coping mechanism, a distraction, a punishment, a reward--anything other than what it was meant to be used for. I tried so hard to fix my diet, start feeding myself healthy fats, whole, real, nourishing foods instead of the chemical-filled, diet crap that I had been eating for over a decade. For most people, eating this paleo way works nearly instantly, it fixes a lot of wrongs and makes them all right. They lose incredible amounts of weight and report the best mental and physical state they've ever been in. I did lose weight-- nearly 30 pounds-- but the mental stuff stayed. And I knew my body and my health had further to go. And around the one-year mark of my change in diet, I began to lose steam. I wasn't effortlessly losing the weight my body wasn't supposed to be carrying anymore, the holidays were coming up & I was still waging a daily battle against a brain that didn't believe I was worth fighting for.

I remember breaking down. Sitting cross-legged in the middle of my bed in the middle of the night, worn out and broken and tired of it all. I was ready to give up all of the work I had done for so long, to throw my hands up and accept that I may never be one of the recovery success stories I've always wanted to be. I was ready to accept the fact that the lies of a disorder would always rule my thoughts, like I'd willingly just carry this pack weighted with shame and sadness forever.

And then, something amazing happened. I gave up sugar-- and the lies went away.

My brain was clear, like a fog had lifted. Sure, it was a little hard-- I could've gone for some dark chocolate after dinner, I kind of would have liked a little piece of cheesecake at my friend's graduation party, whatever. But compared to the endless noise of a disordered brain-- it was nothing at all. Chocolate has nothing close to the hold on me that a disorder did. I didn't recognize it right away, at first I was just excited to see how relatively simple it was for me to eat without the addition of sugar. I was excited to see that I was sleeping better, that I was feeling better, that I was just happy, strong, balanced-- constantly. I realized that when I took away the sugar, I had taken away the fuel to the endless fire that I'd been fighting for over half of my life.

I'm not a scientist. I don't know what effect sugar has on my brain in a physiological way. I can't know if this is how it is for everyone-- in fact, I'm certain it's not. We all take our own paths to recovery. I'm certainly still on mine, and maybe I will be forever. But I know now that the compulsion I used to feel to try & quiet the noise with food is gone. I am beginning to truly know what it feels like to nourish my body, to feel full, to feel hungry, to see myself in the mirror and not immediately turn away. It's not even that I'm "strong enough" or have the "willpower" or "motivation" (for what it's worth, I can't stand those words either)-- the desire to use food as an emotional crutch has simply gone away.

I certainly wasn't expecting to get this deep about my experience with the 21Day Sugar Detox. I was planning on posting a few recipes, a few thoughts here and there and maybe at the end dig a bit into the bigger picture stuff. But I feel like I've just discovered gold in a mine I've been digging for 15 years, and I can't not share it. It's still early on-- but I am cautiously optimistic. I feel more present in my life than perhaps I ever have in my entire 23 years on this earth, and I don't want to stop talking about it. I want to feel this way forever, I want to cry for all the years I wasted hating on a brain that was being controlled by something so clearly toxic to it.

I am grateful-- I am renewed. I am so excited to see what happens next.

21 Day Sugar Detox: a preamble.

2013-01-01T06:00:00.000-08:00

So, resolutions. We know I love them. What is the new year if not an excellent time to jump out of your comfort zone? I don't reserve resolutions for the new year & try to make my life chock full of new things as often as I can, but when I stumbled upon the 21 Day Sugar Detox happening in the first month of 2013, I knew it would be an awesome experiment for the new year. I wasn't planning on blogging about this, but here we are. I think it will be a good thing to talk about it, to share my experience & some delicious recipes-- and, being that I don't often talk much about how I eat or why I choose to do so, I thought this might be a nice introduction. There will be no talk of accountability, good/bad eating, etc-- those that know me know that talk like that does not sit well with me. I'm not hoping to convert anyone, just sharing my experiences, so in return I hope you can respect if we have different feelings about the foods we all choose to eat :)

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A brief primer, if you're interested: I eat a whole, unprocessed, real-foods diet (most of the time :)) that shies away from grains & legumes for their anti-nutrient properties. If you're interested in learning more, please email me! I will send you loads of resources. The 21 Day Sugar Detox is based on this way of eating (but has adaptations for vegetarians, newbies, pregnant/nursing mamas, etc.), and is a real-foods, real-life way to clean up your diet by eliminating all sources of sugar for three weeks. Kind of intense, but many people smarter than I have explained so much about the detrimental effects of sugar on your body, and I know that a lifestyle addicted to sugar is not one that I want to lead. While I think it may naturally happen, this is not about weight loss for me-- it's about resetting some buttons, making headway towards healing my body naturally from the inside out & breaking some unhealthy patterns.

Here is where I'm dipping my toes into some uncharted territories: I, by design, absolutely do NOT talk about my history with food, dieting, weight, and other such touchy subjects here, mainly because it is a rocky, scary history that I'm not necessarily ready to share. The internet can be an intimidating place, and these are vulnerable parts of me-- but I'd like to start here and see what happens.

Because this has gotten a bit deeper than I was expecting, I will say this: while I love me some dried fruit & dark chocolate, I don't think that I'm incredibly dependent on sugar-- but we shall see. If this were a 21 Day Cheese Detox, though... I may not be as successful ;)

If this is not your jam, I totally understand-- regularly scheduled, pretty outfit/crunchy granola posting will still be taking place on a regular basis. But if you're at all interested or curious about my experiment, I would love to have you along on this journey with me! Wish me luck :)

(Note: None of these links are affiliate links or anything like that, I'm not being compensated in any way to talk about my experiences, just providing as much info as I can & sharing my experiences!)

2013.

2012-12-31T08:00:00.000-08:00

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May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.

-Neil Gaiman

Happy New Year, friends-- I hope you send 2012 out with gratefulness & cheer, and welcome 2013 with a whole heart :)

daily outfit (+ video!): red dress

2012-12-29T10:25:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago, it was crazy warm for winter in WI (read: 40 degrees. WHAT!) so Sara & I ventured out for a little outfit of the day video goodness. If it's not abundantly clear by the ridiculous vlogs we make together, Sara is a youtuber and crazy talented at making videos... so of course, as her friend, I have to take advantage of her skills as often as possible :) We had a great time romping around the wilderness and getting crazy looks from fellow park-goers... never a dull moment when we are together, clearly. Thanks to Sara for filming + editing-- click on her name above to see the video I shot for her!

Yet again, my hair doesn't look like this anymore because it grows like a weed...

perhaps someday I'll post things in a timely fashion so you actually know what I currently look like?

outfit details: jacket: consigned; dress: fred mke; leggings: kohls; boots: target

review: I might be a hipster (and free glasses for all of you!)

2012-12-21T12:23:00.000-08:00

Last year, my eye doctor told me I had to go from being a contacts-everyday-no-matter-what wearer to glasses everyday, indefinitely. Suddenly, my cute & quirky glasses went from being a fun accessory to an absolutely necessity, and I realized how important it was to really feel comfortable & like me in whatever I was wearing on mah face. My glasses, like my curly hair and affinity for stupid puns, had suddenly become something I identified with, not only in my appearance but my personality as well. Since then, I've been searching for inexpensive ways to add to my arsenal of eyewear as an accessory. When firmoo.com contacted me to try a pair of glasses for free, I jumped at the chance-- and I love them! Read on for my experience (and how you-- ahem, all of you-- can get a pair for free for yourself!)

Firmoo had tons of options, which I loved. All of their glasses are inexpensive to begin with, they have tons of styles, a virtual try-on program (so that you can see how you'd look in your glasses), & great selection of prescription & non-prescription glasses & sunglasses. By far, my favorite part of picking these glasses was that because they were inexpensively priced to begin with, I could go out a bit on a limb style-wise (hello, I now am walking a fine line between here & hipster-land) and not feel like I'd made a huge commitment to fancy glasses that I had to wear forever & ever. I chose these, and within a week they were delivered to my apartment, with all of the lovely goodies you see above! The good news? I adore them.

They're super cute, excellent quality, a great way to change things up on the daily, and I get loads of compliments every time I wear them, which, hello, is always nice. I've always been the type of girl to have one go-to accessory (one purse, one great pair of boots, one stellar pair of glasses) and wear it til it's worn out, but I've quickly learned that having a few pairs of glasses in your arsenal makes accessorizing so much more fun. I will absolutely be spending some of my own money on a few more pairs of glasses from firmoo just to have around for when I feel like changing things up!

The best part, though, is that firmoo offers a first-pair-free promotion to all new customers-- all you pay are shipping costs. Check it out here-- and promise me you'll report back with your cutie patootie pictures when you get your new glasses!

(Per usual: I was given these glasses at no cost to me in return for my honest opinion & review, which this is!)

zero to crunchy: lavender oil is good for everything, literally.

2012-12-14T14:12:00.000-08:00

[x]

Alright, friends, let's talk essential oils. Now, I'm certainly no expert, but I've done a little research and know a bit or two about a thing or two. I've been using peppermint oil for headaches for about two years now (AMAZING, by the way), and tea tree oil is always, always, always included in my homemade deodorant recipe. But lavender oil? Is new to me. I've always been drawn to lavender, first because it smells like little drops of heaven and second because purple is my favorite color, but that's neither here nor there. I recently picked up a bottle just to have on hand to add to deodorant and other natural beauty recipes, but I've been astounded and so excited to discover its many, many uses that I just had to share them with you!

the best best best acne spot treatment in the universe

I've mentioned before that apple cider vinegar had previously been my favorite spot-treatment cure for my occasional hormonal acne, but thus, no longer-- lavender oil has knocked it clear out of first place. All it takes is a drop or two of lavender oil, neat on your toughest spots and they'll dry up in a day or two like nobody's business. Lavender oil is much gentler than other essential oils (which should never be applied directly to the skin without researching first if they'll react with your skin! PSA over.), so it can be applied to your face and skin without irritation. Test on a small patch first just to make sure that you're not sensitive, but generally a few drops will take care of redness and acne bumps. If you'd like to use it on a regular basis, try adding a few drops to your oil cleansing oil of choice (or to your clean/natural moisturizer) and watch things clear up practically overnight!

make a pillow spray

Lavender oil is known for its calming effect, and seriously-- I can attest to it. I have this lovely little habit of letting my mind race before bed and keeping myself awake for hours at a time, unintentionally. Even on a normal night, it takes me a while longer than I'd like to fall asleep, so I've been putting a few drops of lavender oil in a spray bottle along with some witch hazel or distilled water to spritz on my pillow. I would never lie to you-- it is amazing, and the last few weeks I've been making that my nightly ritual have been some of my quickest-to-sleep ever! I'm sold.

use to calm burns or cool off

Take that same bottle of lavender/water (or witch hazel) by your bedspread and spray it on burns to help soothe them or just to cool yourself off in the summer heat.

clear up that cold

When I got sick living abroad & didn't want to take conventional cold medicines, the pharmacist recommended rubbing some vapor rub on the inside of the bowl, filling it with hot water and inhaling the steam to clear up my sinuses. I still use that remedy to this day, but now I switch it up from time to time and just drop a few drops into the hot water and let the steam do its thing. Also great for headaches & sinus issues: soak a washcloth with hot water, put a few drops of lavender oil & use as a warm compress for your head.

as a perfume

Did we not already establish how deliciously yummy lavender oil smells? Yes? Great. When I was younger & baking with my grandmother, I got some vanilla on my fingers & she taught me to always dab that leftover vanilla on your neck as a perfume. (FYI: it makes you smell like cookies, and similar to your milkshake, will probably bring all the boys/etc to the yard. I promise.) The same goes for lavender-- because it's such a mild oil with an incredible scent, dab a dot or two on your neck behind your ears and just watch & smile as everyone goes nuts over how incredible you smell.

There are countless more, I know I've barely scratched the surface! What do you use lavender oil for? If you give any of these a try, I'd love to hear about it!

daily outfit: ramblings of a finals week.

2012-12-01T11:03:00.000-08:00

So much to say! So little time! Let's start at the very beginning, shall we?

tunic: F21, consigned; belt: jcp; leggings: kohls (get 10% off until 12/23 with code tenblog); boots: DSW

My very favorite roommate in the entire world moved out to pursue her fancy career goals in other states, and my other very favorite roommate in the entire world has moved in. (Small backstory: she was my first roommate ever ever, freshman year of college. Our room was covered in twinkle lights 24/7 and once we hung a piñata from our ceiling with dental floss... which should give you a good idea of how well matched we were.) Our apartment a) looks nothing like it does in these photos anymore b) is currently so christmas-ed out you'd think we were straight up living in the north pole and c) has no less than seven hundred and thirty two candles burning at any given time. Truth. (mostly.)

My hair is no longer this long. I uploaded these pictures, took a second to mourn the loss of my cute braid crown, then remembered it only takes ten minutes to blow dry my hair now, and got over it.

In case you're like me and were the last human on the planet to hear this song, listen to it. Sing it every single time you're thrifting. Annoy the beejeebus out of your fellow shoppers. You're welcome. (Also, NSFW. Just a warning :)) Also obsessed with this song. Just listen. Repeat. Amen.

Lastly, it's finals week. Scratch that, the next two weeks are finals weeks. I am not pleased. My brain is broken. Hopefully once that has passed, I'll be back with more coherent ramblings :)

In the meantime: fill me in! What have you been up to lately?

daily outfit: on owning it all

2012-10-15T18:41:00.002-07:00

I've been a little silent on the blog lately. Besides the fact that my beautiful and wonderful sister just married the love of her life this past weekend and I've been consumed with maid-of-honoring (fun! exhausting!) for the last however long, every time I start to write a post, it feels inauthentic. I look back at some of my favorite old posts: all silly, random, perfectly-tied-together musings, and I'm just not there right now, so I felt like I shouldn't say anything at all. But thanks to a good friend (hi, Gina :)), I was reminded why, yes indeed, I do still like taking pictures of my clothes and writing about things. You know, to be specific.

top: f21; jeggings: kohl's (get the look!); boots: aldo

I've been thinking a lot lately about authenticity, particularly in the last few weeks. Owning every part of who I am is something I am always striving for, but it's not always easy. It's easy to pretend that you're always fun and and happy and silly, but it's not easy to see where you fall short and expose it to the world. It's easy to put on a cute face and say oh, sometimes, that you make mistakes, but it's much more difficult to stare your mistakes in the face and own them.

In an effort to love every single part of myself + the incredibly fantastic people in my life, I've been practicing owning it all. Owning the fact that yes, I like to fancy myself a pretty happy, goofy, contented, polka-dot-wearing girl, but I also get easily frustrated, I am a chronic over-analyzer, and sometimes it's easier for me to put walls up than it is to take them down.

{lion photobomb!}

But what I've learned, time and time again, is that just like you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, nobody's perfect, and admitting that to those closest to me always brings us closer together. I'm always happier when I admit my mistakes and my shortcomings, and it's the best way to grow. Shiny/happy/rainbow + sunshine-less though it may sometimes be.

I wish I could wrap this up nicely with a neat little bow and call it a day, but I can't. I can, however, see the beauty in the fact that I'm a work in progress-- this, the act of being good with exactly you at exactly any given moment, is a process & a practice, not a destination to be reached. I was driving home from work today, mulling all of this over in typically congested rush hour traffic, and a car cut me off right as I was getting on the freeway. My initial instinct was to get a little road rage-y, but in that moment I realized it's not up to me to make any judgements on anyone else just based on one split-second occurrence. It's easier to blame somebody else, but it's better to remember that we're all human. When in doubt, be a little more compassionate and give a little love, and see what happens instead.

clearly, this is why my roommate is one of my favorite people in the universe.

Also, if you see a lion statue, ride it. If you have the chance to wear polka-dots, do it. Don't take yourself too seriously, and whatever it is, don't be afraid to own it-- all of it. Be thankful. Cut yourself some slack. And when in doubt, just write about it :)

What's your best advice? I want to hear it! Also: have you ridden a lion lately? It's pretty great.

Vlog: State Fair with Sara!

2012-09-30T11:03:00.000-07:00

In August, my roommate Sara and I ventured to our favorite summery Wisconsin event: the state fair! We thought we'd bring you all along whilst eating chocolate covered bacon/freaking out about baby animals/watching the annual pig races & just generally having a grand old Sconnie time :)

Added bonus: check out Sara's super cute outfit of the day video! Plus, yours truly makes a little cameo at the end singing about a bridge :) We took some great other outfit shots that day, keep an eye out for those soon!

24 Things: Paint (not walls, a picture!)

2012-09-02T17:57:00.000-07:00

So, if I haven't mentioned it before, my sisters and I are like three crazy little peas in a pod. We have the same laugh. We have the same nose. We have the same uncanny knack for making the world's cheesiest jokes, ever. We also happen to have an innate ability to know what each other needs, at any given point, always, and usually delivered with chocolate. So I suppose it shouldn't be a surprise when my middle sister (I'm the youngest) just happened to give me a reiki session for my 22nd birthday, which was exactly one of the things I had put on my 23 things life list, before she ever even knew said list existed. So it also follows that I shouldn't have been surprised when the same sister bought vouchers for the two of us to take an intuitive painting class together for my 23rd birthday, also one of the things I put on my 24 things life list, again, long before she ever knew said list existed.

Like I said, peas in a pod.

Sisters. I'm in the laundry basket. We don't look like this anymore, in case you were wondering, though I do still have an affinity for hiding in laundry baskets, obviously.

I was equal parts super-excited for this painting class and equal parts terrified out of my mind that I'd end up drawing stick people and having to excuse myself to go wash the fingerpaints off of my hands while pretending that I totally meant to do that all along, you guys. I fancy myself a creative type, good at crafts & art-y projects, but I've never been good at drawing. And so, I got the silly little notion in my head that just because I wasn't good at something meant that I couldn't do it anyways. Pssh.

Painting. And laughing. Our new friends in the class brought wine and fudge, with had absolutely nothing to do with why we all got along so well, clearly.

Here is what I learned about intuitive painting, and also life, because poignant things sneak up on you like that. First, you pick whichever colors speak the most to you, and you trust your gut, because your gut knows what's up. Also, purple makes everything better. Next, you splatter things everywhere and make a big mess and watch what happens. Following that, you paint. You do whatever feels right and you let that paintbrush go forward with abandon even if you have zero clue what you're doing. It's okay if you add some brown and decide you hate it-- because there's nothing you can do to change it now, baby. Add some purple (makes everything better) and white, and then sit back and marvel in your lovely creation. Even if it became something entirely different than what you set out to make, you should be pretty proud of yourself and pretty in awe of how cool it turned out in the end anyways.

My masterpiece. I love it. I also learned that if you flip it on its side, it looks like a kangaroo.

Long story short: painting is great, and fun, and relaxing, and it doesn't matter that you haven't put brush to paper since elementary school, it doesn't matter that you can't draw a still life worth a sideways kangaroo, because you may end up being a quite talented if-you-do-say-so-yourself swirly-thing painter. Thanks, sister, for always knowing what I need before I need it, and helping me jump outside my comfort zone. I like it better here. There's more purple. And chocolate.

I think she's probably the one who put me in that laundry basket in the first place.

Psssst! Milwaukeeans! If you're looking for an awesome new experience in the arty world with super-great people, I highly recommend you check out Studio 915. They have nothing to do with me writing this post, I just had such a great time that I had to share with all of you. Go support your awesome, arty local businesses!

daily outfit: polka dots, pt. deux

2012-08-27T03:55:00.000-07:00

Dearest polka dots, I love you.

shirt: thrifted; tank: kohls; crops: kohls; wedges: aldo

I picked this shirt up while thrifting with my roomie a few months ago, plopped it in my closet, and then never wore it. Until a few days ago, and now I literally would wear it everyday if I could.

I'm not one of those super-lucky thrifters who finds gorgeous handmade, vintage, one-of-a-kind things every time she shops. But I have been lucking out a little lately (mostly because we spend literal hours meticulously perusing through endless rack after rack of abandoned Hollister t-shirts for the occasional gem), and I was over the moon when I found this 80s cropped polka-dot top.

Unfortunately the fit is a little wonky, which has prevented me from wearing it til now, but to that I say pish tosh. I'll alter it eventually, but until then, I'll just tuck a little here and there and enjoy my new polka-dotty love. Every single day. Forever and ever amen.

daily outfit: fancy pants

2012-08-22T18:10:00.002-07:00

Whatever you are,

be a good one.

--Abraham Lincoln

cardigan: ny&co; tank: kohls; trouser jeans: gap; bracelet: gift

Have I mentioned lately how few occasions in my life necessitate fancy wear? Enough that I count things like wrinkly trouser jeans and medium height heels 'fancy wear', if that tells you anything. For reals, though: being a nanny and a graduate student is about as un-fancy as you'd imagine. And also a little messy. And require equal amount of constantly running around & playing with little ones and sitting my tush in the library for hours on end, both of which necessitate cute, functional comfort, and that's about it. Can you tell I miss dressing up even a liiiittle bit? Because I do.

So when I had the opportunity to attend an event that, while still casual-ish, didn't require my clothes to be stretchy or spill-proof, I gleefully danced around in my mid-height heels for a solid ten minutes.

Also, yes, wrinkly pants. I have the patience of a baby squirrel and thus, if I have to 1) take out my iron 2) fill it with water 3) fashion an ironing board out of my coffee table 4) ACTUALLY IRON THINGS it's probably not going to happen. I'm just going to pretend nobody noticed and instead you were distracted by how cute baby squirrels are. Yes? Good.

I'm curious: how often do you mix/play with different 'themes' in your wardrobe? Do you wear fancy dresses to coffee shops? Help me shake things up a bit!