Babes Love Baseball

Season Previews: Houston Astros

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 17:43:00 +0000

It's about time to kick off one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Five years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Wrapping up our preview of the National League Central, get a load of the 2012 Houston Astros.

One more year then it's
Adios National League
Selig has spoken

Berkman misses you
But not enough to return
Replace Carlos Lee

Jordan Schafer likes
Ganja peanut butter cups
But then, who doesn't

Amen Bud Norris
We hate Brian Wilson too
So effing stupid

Jed Lowrie at short
Altuve's his dp pal
Matt Downs just in case

Right and left filled by
Brian Bogusevic and
J.D. Martinez

Forget about Cust
That ship has long since sailed
No more bombs from him

Wandy Rodriguez
Should try lasting more than six
That would be helpful

Brett Myers eyebrows
Like fat caterpillars with
A 4.00 ERA

Wesley's the only
Left-hander in the bullpen
He must feel special

We bet the Astros
Are super pumped up to move
To the other league

[The Crawfish Boxes] | [Ultimate Astros] | [Astros County]

Season Previews: Cincinnati Reds

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 16:46:00 +0000

It's about time to kick off one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Five years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Continuing our preview of the National League Central, here is a look at the 2012 Cincinnati Reds.

Bronson Arroyo
Wails on his sweet guitar
Watch his commercials

Love Joey Votto
Brandon Phillips, Paul Janish
And Scott Rolen too

Jay Bruce is awesome
Playing right field for the Reds
Drew Stubbs in center

Ludwick in left field
Backed up by Todd Frazier with
Heisey roaming too

Johnny Cueto and
Homer Bailey, Mat Latos
And Mike Leake pitching

Ryan Hanigan
Has a weird little mustache
Getting old to catch?

The Reds will have to
Best the Brewers and Cardinals
To win the Central

BLB predicts
They'll win it by a half game
But lose to the Phils

[Red Reporter] | [Blog Red Machine] | [Redleg Nation]

Season Previews: Pittsburgh Pirates

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 15:32:00 +0000

It's about time to kick off one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Five years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Moving right along with our preview of the National League Central, here is the tentative Pittsburgh Pirates forecast.

The average fan
Has never heard of these guys
So try to keep up

Andrew McCutchen
and Nate McLouth in center
Michael McKenry!

James McDonald and
Daniel McCutchen's relief
Sounds McGood to me

Neil Walker and
Clint Barmes up the middle
Garret Jones at first

Pedro Alvarez
Hit .191 last year
Wow what an athlete

Kevin Correia
Jeff Karstens, Erik Bedard
and Charlie Morton

Perhaps Brad Lincoln
Would like a shot at having
a huge ERA

Tabata in right
Alex Presley in left field
Pirates in last place

All joking aside
Not sure how Bucs fans survive
Hang in there people

[Bucs Dugout] | [Rum Bunter] | [Raise the Jolly Roger]

Season Previews: Chicago Cubs

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 14:33:00 +0000

It's about time to kick off one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Five years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Continuing our preview of the National League Central, here is a sneak peak at the 2012 Chicago Cubs.

It has only been
One hundred and four seasons
Since they won it all

But Theo Epstein
and company will get the
Cubbies back on track

At least that is what
Hoyer and Cherington are
Telling the North Side

No more Zambrano
Paid the Marlins to take him
LMFAO

Welcome DeJesus
Since Quade couldn't cut it
Dale Sveum will try

Kerry Wood relieves?
Geovany Soto will
Squat behind the plate

Dempster, Garza, Wells
Paul Maholm and Volstad
What a rotation

Anthony Rizzo!
LaHair across the diamond
From Ian Stewart

Castro and Barney
Make great DP combo
We like Josh Vitters

Byrd's in center field
Alfonso Soriano
Still kicks it in left

Is this the Cubs' year?
Could this finally be it?
Holy cow you guys

[View from the Bleachers] | [Bleed Cubbie Blue] | [Chicago Cubs Online]

Season Previews: Milwaukee Brewers

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 17:02:00 +0000

It's about time to kick off one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Five years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Moving right along with our preview of the National League Central, here is a look at the 2012 Milwaukee Brewers.

We hope Ryan Braun
Didn't cheat or have herpes
Either would be gross

Bu-bye Prince Fielder
Mat Gamel will play first now
He's not as chubby

Oh Nyjer Morgan
You are so entertaining
An easy target

Zack Greinke is good
Yovani Gallarado and
Racing sausages

John Axfrod's mustache
K-Rod needs no facial hair
Maybe it won't grow

LuCroy at backstop
George Kottaras backs him up
Weeks at second base

Alex Gonazalez
Is Weeks' double play partner
Ramirez at third

First division win
Since back in '82 guys
Man those were the days

Can the Brewers make
A run at the postseason
Again? We say yes.

[Brew Crew Ball] | [The Brewers Bar] | [Disciples of Uecker]

Season Previews: St. Louis Cardinals

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 20:05:00 +0000

It's about time to kick off one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Five years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. We'll begin our previews with the reigning World Series Champion St. Louis Cardinals and move right along through the National League Central.

World Series Champs
After improbable run
Through the postseason

All good things must end
So goodbye Albert Pujols
You god damn traitor

Adam Wainwright's back
St. Louis fans missed him lots
He's adorable

Jaime Garcia
Jake Westbrook and Kyle Lohse
Oh yeah, and Lance Lynn

Change in management
So long Tony La Russa
Go save the kittens

Shirtless Schumaker
Mmmm... shirtless Chris Carpenter
Shirtless Nick Punto?

Fat Elvis has an
Emotional affair with
The Houston Astros

Yadi Molina
Is our favorite Molina
He bats .300

How could we forget
Matt Holliday and John Jay
Beltran out there too

Can the Cards repeat?
Depends on who you ask but
Not a chance in hell

[Viva El Birdos] | [Pitchers Hit Eighth] | [The Cardinal Nation Blog]

Josh Hamilton Relapses, no Whipped Cream was Harmed in the Event

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 16:18:00 +0000

We like to take long breaks from blogging just before Spring Training gets underway. Obviously. But what better way to get back into the game than waking up to hear the news of Josh Hamilton's alcohol relapse. Sadly, no whipped cream was harmed in the process.

The Texas Rangers outfielder didn't come out and admit his relapse to the press, however. No, some tattle tales "familiar with the episode" felt it was their responsibility to let us all know he was drinking booze at a Dallas area bar this week.

If you're familiar with alcoholism, you know know that one drink is really never okay for a drunk. Some people just can't hang, and Hamilton is one of those folks. The 30-year-old All Star outfielder was suspended for more than three years for drug and alcohol abuse back when he was with the Tampa Bay organization, missing the entire 2004 and 2005 seasons. However, he rebounded to become a household name and give hope to addicts everywhere.

In August of 2009, he relapsed during a wild night without his wife and Jesus, licking body shots and whipped cream off scantily clad ~~hookers~~ young ladies at a bar in Tempe, Arizona. Of course, he tried to claim that the photos were old, but background shots of the spankin' new MLB Network channel on the televisions in the background had him busted.

Since joining the Rangers, he is tested for drug use three times a week and also is supposed to have an accountability partner to offer him support in his recovery.

Looks like now would be a good time to hire one of those.

[Yahoo! Sports]

Li'l Timmy Lincecum Gets Paid

noreply@blogger.com (Marea) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 14:15:00 +0000

If you're a faithful reader, you know we love us some Li'l Timmy Lincecum. And it appears that the Giants organization still does, too. They've just agreed to terms on a 2 year, $40.5 million dollar deal that will take him to the end of the 2013 season - when he is eligible for free agency.

The ~~pot loving, vandal-slash-party animal~~ two time Cy Young winner had the stones to ask for $21.5 million a year - which is more than ANY player with so few years under his belt has ever requested. The Giants countered with $17 million, and they finally settled on a measly $500,000 signing bonus, $18 mil this year, and $22 million next year instead. Also included in his new deal? A no trade clause and he gets 25 tickets per game to give to underpriveliged kids. Awwww, what a sweetheart.

Surprisingly, he's still just the second highest paid Giant on the roster this season. Remember Barry Zito? The former badass is still getting $19 million this season for being terrible.

While the two year deal will help Big Time Timmy Jim and the Giants avoid that whole arbitration mess later on, he actually turned down an offer by the Giants for 5 years, $100 million dollars - chump change, really - most likely knowing that in two years he'll probably be able to command a whole heck of a lot more than $20 million per year during the free agency frenzy and wind up making something like a billion dollars a year and get the rights to party at the White House and his choice of hooking up with only the hottest of the hottest supermodels on the planet. Even with that hair he's got going on.

Holy Crap Prince Fielder Got a Nine-Year Deal from the Detroit Tigers

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 13:36:00 +0000

First and foremost, we are not happy to be back in Minnesota after a long vacation in Florida. It's disgusting here. But we missed you.

Second, we'd like to ponder why on earth the Detroit Tigers would give a fatass like Prince Fielder a nine-year deal worth $214 million. Just kidding... kind of.

The Tigers agreed to sign the free agent first baseman on Tuesday out of nowhere, adding some more pop to the middle of their lineup with the already hard-hitting Miguel Cabrera in there. This, just days after announcing designated hitter Victor Martinez would miss a bunch of the 2012 season with an ACL tear he endured during offseason conditioning.

Fielder, who batted .282 with 230 home runs and 656 RBI over seven seasons with the Milwaukee Brewers, now owns just the fourth $200+ million deal in baseball history with his $23.78 million a season beaten only by Alex Rodriguez, Ryan Howard, Cliff Lee, and Albert Pujols, among active players.

While several teams, such as the Texas Rangers and Washington Nationals, had thrown their hats into the Fielder bidding ring this winter, Detroit was no where to be found. General Manager Dave Dombrowski and owner Mike Ilitch even denied having any interest in signing him whatsoever. Liars. But having Prince in the lineup makes them even more of a favorite to repeat the AL Central title this season and possibly win their first World Series since 1984. They made a run at it last season after winning their division by 15 games, but ended up losing to the Rangers in the ALDS.

This move also keeps the Fielder name in the Tigers organization, which is pretty neat. His father, Cecil, nailed 51 longballs with Detroit back in 1990 after playing 15 years of Japanese ball. Senior played with the Tigers into the 1996 season while his young son hit bombs during batting practice. More importantly, Fielder finally leaving the National League to become the DH he was always meant to be.

[Detroit Free Press]

Chicago Cubs Pay Miami Marlins to Take Carlos Zambrano Off their Hands

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 21:00:00 +0000

So the Chicago Cubs have traded Carlos Zambrano to the Miami Marlins, who once again are demanding our attention. We can't wait to see him in his new Rainbow Brite uniform.

In return, the Cubbies will get right-hander Chris Volstad while also forking over $15.45 million of Zambrano's $18 million salary this season. Just let that one sink in for a minute.

First off, were the Cubs seriously hating on Big Z so much that they were willing to part with him and pay the majority of his income? You bet. In fact, the club's spankin' new President of Baseball Operations Theo Epstein cited mistrust and general distaste among his former teammates as one of the main reasons he had to get him out of there.

What a deal for the Marlins.

Second, Chris Volstad is that guy whose name you can never remember but whose face you think you might recognize. Or not. He's average at best, carrying around a career 4.59 ERA in four big league seasons. Originally the Marlins' first-round pick in 2005, he's been up with the club since 2008, compiling a less than desirable 32-39 record along the way. Obviously, he's no Carlos Zambrano, who touts a 3.60 career ERA in 11 seasons on the North Side, with a 125-81 win-loss. Then again, Volstad probably isn't a psychopath either.

After a tumultuous career in which the 30-year-old righty has squabbled with teammates, managers, coaches, and umpires, the last straw coming on August 12. Upon being ejected from a game for being a total ass, he cleaned out his locker and began starting rumors of his retirement. Apparently he was only joking.

Silly Marlins, don't they know how big of a pain in the butt he can be? We can't wait to see what happens when he and good buddy/fellow Venezuelan Ozzie Guillen are at their best... or worst. Together. This from Marlins President of Baseball Operations Larry Beinfest:

"It would hard for me to say everything is going to be perfect and incident-free, given the guy’s history... It may happen that he has a blowup or two. But Ozzie is very confident he can help him."

This whole fiasco could (and probably will be) a reality television show some day.

On a serious note, check out the Marlins rotation for 2012: newcomer Mark Buehrle, Josh Johnson, Ricky Nolasco, Anibal Sanchez, and now Carlos Zambrano. Holy crap.

[Call to the Pan]

Prince Fielder and Scott Boras May Have Overplayed their Hands

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 19:37:00 +0000

Milwaukee Brewers All-Star first baseman Prince Fielder remains unsigned with spring training set to start in less than 2 months and it appears as if he may be forced to return to the Milwaukee Brewers for the 2012 season. While Fielder’s return would make the Brewers one of the favorites in MLB betting lines to win the National League pennant in 2012, the question does remain open as to whether or not he would have sufficient motivation after expecting the Brinks truck to arrive after his best season ever in 2011 in which the Brewers won their first division title since 1982.

Fielder’s agent is known stick up man Scott Boras, who is hated by MLB owners and loved by players for his ability to command top dollar for his clients, even if it is not always accomplished with polish and good manners.

Fielder’s predicament is also part of the worst possible timing. American League teams such as the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox, who would figure to love having the poor fielding Prince as their designated hitter, do not have any need or room on their already power packed rosters for yet another high priced slugger. The one team that did have such a need, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, signed Fielder’s main competitor for superstar first baseman status in Albert Pujols, who led the St. Louis Cardinals to a National League Championship Series win over Fielder’s Brewers and on to a World Series championship against the Texas Rangers. Despite Pujols having a slight drop in overall production compared to his past years with the Cardinals, and despite his being 4 years older than Fielder, he was able to command the riches that Fielder had expected for himself.

What is highly possible is that Fielder could return to the Brewers for a high dollar but short term deal as Milwaukee is primed with one of the best pitching staffs in the league along with a loaded offense to make a run at the pennant over the next year or two before contracts come up and players will likely have to be let go in order to keep payroll in order.

The big question will be whether or not Fielder will be in the right frame of mind to stay home with Milwaukee after expecting top dollar in the off-season.

Scary Fernando Rodney Bullies Tampa Bay Rays into Giving Him a One-Year Deal

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 23:00:00 +0000

It's no secret that Fernando Rodney scares the crap out of us. In fact, we're pretty sure that he frightened the Tampa Bay Rays into giving him a one-year contract worth $2 million on Wednesday. The deal even has a club option for 2013. Hot Stove in Tampa Bay!

Let's be serious here for a minute. The right-hander's 4.50 ERA with the Los Angeles Angels last season doesn't exactly scream, "show me the money."

Rodney, who turns 35 in March, has seen his value sink drastically over the past two seasons. After signing a two-year, $11 million deal with the Halos back in 2009 as a free agent, he went on to provide the team with just 17 saves in 28 chances and compile a 7-8 record. He is a career 22-38 with a nice bloated 4.29 ERA over parts of nine seasons with the Angels and Detroit Tigers and has notched 87 saves in the past decade. What an athlete.

At least he can look forward to competing with Kyle Farnsworth in Tampa for the closer's job, which should be no competition at all. Because if Farny gets a job before you do, you have absolutely no business in the big leagues, pal.

[ESPN]

Oakland Athletics Fans Get to Marvel at Coco Crisp's Afro for Another Two Seasons

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 23:07:00 +0000

Contrary to the popular belief that Coco Crisp was not planning on roaming the outfield for the Oakland Athletics next season, the club has brought him back for another two years after he decided he's rather play on the West coast 81 games a year rather than on a peninsula with the Tampa Bay Rays.

Of course, this business is top secret right now since the team has yet to divulge this information to the public. However, a source familiar with the club, who is speaking on condition of anonymity, says the deal is worth roughly $14 million and there is also a club option for 2014. The official announcement should come some time on Thursday after he passes his physical.

Over the past two seasons in Oakland, Crisp batted .269 with 16 homers and 92 RBI, adding nine triples and 81 stolen bases to his stats when he wasn't on the disabled list with an injured pinkie finger. I guess that's when he found time to have his afro braided.

I wonder if A's fans are happy to hear the news of the 32-year-old outfielder's return after general manager ~~Brad Pitt~~ Billy Beane unloaded several star players once again this offseason. (Hot Stove!)

They traded Jai Miller to the Baltimore Orioles for some straight cash earlier in the day, and also lost fellow outfielder Ryan Sweeney and closer Andrew Bailey in a swap with the Boston Red Sox recently. Gio Gonzalez was swept away in a trade with the Washington Nationals over the holidays, and let's not forget that Trevor Cahill is also long gone, as is Craig Breslow. They did get Josh Reddick and some minor leaguers along the way, though...

Here's hoping Crisp has the whole pinkie situation under control these days. And that afro.

[The Drum Beat]

Chicago White Sox Trade Carlos Quentin to San Diego Padres

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 18:09:00 +0000

Sometimes when players are traded, they get all upset about where they end up and who they'll miss. In Carlos Quentin's case, he's pretty excited.

The Chicago White Sox traded the All-Star outfielder to his hometown San Diego Padres this weekend, and when he got the call he was conveniently already in town.

This is also good news for the Padres, who sucked it up in the National League West last season. They finished worst in their division at 71-91, 23 games behind his former team, the NL West-winning Arizona Diamondbacks. Padres general manager Josh Byrnes, who traded Quentin from Arizona to Chicago four years ago, is happy to have him back:

"Trading him is pretty high on my list of regrets. That group in Arizona had a lot of talent. Carlos always stood out for his intensity and his style of play. Having a chance to get him back became very appealing here this offseason."

Quentin, who batted .254 with 24 home runs and 77 RBI last season while playing right field for the White Sox, is expected to start out in left for San Diego in 2012. He's also expected to do wonders for the Padres' collective offense, since he's nailed 20 homers in each of the last four seasons, including 36 in 2008.

The White Sox acquired two minor league pitchers in the deal: right-hander Simon Castro and left-hander Pedro Hernandez.

[Associated Press]

The New York Mets are Not Impressed with R. A. Dickey's Adventurous Offseason Plans

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 20:36:00 +0000

Most of the time, when people have enough moxie to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, they are commended for their bravery and ambition. However, when these people are major league ballplayers expected to stay healthy at least until Spring Training, it is considered a no-no.

The New York Mets and general manager Sandy Alderson were troubled by the news of one of their relievers having the audacity to go mountain climbing in the offseason. Although they failed to advise against it in Dickey's contract, apparently they assumed he would just know better. Obviously they were mistaken. Although Alderson sent Dickey a letter in an attempt to dissuade him from the ascent, it seems the right-hander doesn't much give a crap.

Dickey, along with Colorado Rockies pitcher Kevin Slowey, has chosen this intense activity for a charitable cause, benefiting the Bombay Teen Challenge, which fights sex trafficking in India. Here's a snippet from his blog post in the New York Times:

The time for second-guessing is over. The research has been done, the miles have been hiked, the lungs have been taxed and the equipment has been gathered. In five days, I will travel via Detroit to Amsterdam, finally arriving at Kilimanjaro’s airport after a journey of 18 hours 25 minutes, and 8,674 miles. Needless to say, if you have a hard time with planes, you might want to scoot this one down your list of things to do a bit...

...More important, we have raised $50,000 and are halfway to our fund-raising goal for Bombay Teen Challenge, an outreach organization dedicated to putting an end to human trafficking in Mumbai, India. With $100,000, Bombay Teen Challenge will be able to purchase a health clinic right in the heart of the red-light district. This will allow hundreds of young women who have been trafficked into the brothels to become introduced to Bombay Teen Challenge and, ultimately, have a chance at freedom.

A writer and an athlete! Also, a giver.

While we are all about charity, is it possible Dickey could have chosen an event that would have made the Mets a bit less nervous? They're already high strung. But the truth is, Dickey isn't injury prone and he was really the only starter to pitch consistently well for the Mets in 2011... which is why they're concerned in the first place.

Dickey went on to say in his article that since a 7-year-old boy and an 82-year-old man have climbed the Tanzanian peak, a 37-year-old knuckleballer should have no problem with it. Good luck buddy!

John Danks Gets $65 Million, Five-Year Extension from Chicago White Sox

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 20:50:00 +0000

The Chicago White Sox agreed to give John Danks a five-year contract extension worth $65 million on Thursday, keeping the starting pitcher on the South Side until 2016.

The 26-year-old lefty, who more or less sucked last season, went 8-12 with a 4.33 ERA in 2011. Obviously, this prompted general manager Ken Williams to give him an immediate $2 million raise for $8 million next season and then $14.25 million in each of the final four years of the deal. Perhaps he's crossing his fingers that Danks will return to his 2010 form, back when he won 15 games for the club.

Never mind his career 4.03 ERA... his strikeout-to-walk ratio is 3:1.

Then again, maybe the organization felt it was time to start panicking after losing their ace, Mark Buehrle to the Miami Marlins via free agency during the winter meetings. After all, Danks would have become a free agent after next season and for goodness sake, they wouldn't want that.

I mean, just look how excited he is.

[ESPN Chicago]

Speaking of the White Sox, this little fan must have been on Santa's naughty list.

Happy New Year: Most Memorable Stories in Major League Baseball from 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 21:30:00 +0000

Well, we're all another year older and not a bit wiser. Can you believe it's almost 2012? Top Tens are pretty nifty and all, but we're gonna go ahead and add a few more of baseball's most memorable moments of the 2011 season, including the happy, sad, funny and unbelievable.

April 8: Manny Ramirez "retired" from baseball after getting busted cheating once again. Idiot. This happened roughly eight months before he was officially reinstated and granted a 50-game ban if any team chooses to sign his dumb ass.

April 11: We were given the opportunity to interview Joe Mauer and his mother during a Kemps ice cream commercial shoot and managed not to embarrass ourselves.

April 20: Cody Ross and Brian Wilson joined Youtube sensation Keenan Cahill in a lip-synced rendition of Dynamite. This is about when B-Weezy stopped being entertaining... just ask Bud Norris.

May 17: Harmon Killebrew passed away at the age of 74, leaving behind a legacy unrivaled in Minnesota sports.

May 26: Kirk Gibson face-planted during batting practice and we almost pee our pants. Meanwhile, Buster Posey broke his leg and our hearts.

June 3: We speculated and fantasized about where Albert Pujols would end up in 2012 and made a video of him playing in a Chicago Cubs uniform.

June 23: In the midst of a break-up, Sooze declared the top ten reasons baseball is better than men.

July 20: We were mildly irritated that Jim Thome was about to crush his 600th career home run and no one seemed to give a shit. Try to keep up people.

August 30: We finally gave in and admitted to ourselves and the world that Man Muscles is not the toughest guy on the planet. In fact, he's kind of a pussy. Besides, he's engaged now anyway.

September 1: We took a long look back at 3,000 posts. You'd think we had nothing better to do with our lives.

September 3: Before deciding to retire a champion, Tony La Russa bitched about something irrelevant once again.

September 20: Mariano Rivera carried on with his daily routine and became baseball's All-time saves leader.

September 24: We turned back the clock when the Milwaukee Brewers won their first division title since 1982. Those were the days.

September 29: Wild Card Wednesday. If any of you were at any of these games we were downright jealous. What a day in a baseball... it was almost as crazy as Game 6 of the World Series nearly a month later.

October 6: Tim Lincecum was sued by his former landlord for being a lazyass stoner party animal. He's like a lot of our buddies, minus the millions of dollars and baseball talent.

October 11: Nelson Cruz nailed the first ever walkoff Grand Slam in postseason history. This, just five days before he earned the ALCS MVP honor and his Texas Rangers made the trip to their second consecutive World Series... which they eventually lost for the second consecutive year.

October 13: Nyjer Morgan's pot called the kettle black when he referred to a mix-up with the family seating arrangement at Busch Stadium as "bush league". Hilarious. Meanwhile, a few Boston Red Sox players were called out for being fat, drunk slobs. Also hilarious.

October 24: We weren't sure who told Derek Holland it was okay to grow that thing on his upper lip, but he obviously didn't have a girlfriend. Or a mother.

October 29: The St. Louis Cardinals shocked the nation and capped an improbable playoff run by winning the World Series in seven exciting games. Suddenly, David Freese becomes a household name.

And then there's the offseason, which is always eventful.

November 4: JI-
JIM THOME signed a one-year deal with the Phillies and we were super pumped. This naturally means there will be at least one more year of Dugouts to laugh at.

November 11: Wilson Ramos was rescued from his abductors after a little over 48 hours; we were happy he was safe and sound.

December 7: While the look on spankin' new Miami Marlins shortstop Jose Reyes' face when he draped himself in his hideous new uniform was priceless, the amount of dough his new team spent in a matter of one work week was not: Ozzie Guillen's club dropped $191 million between Reyes, Heath Bell, and Mark Buehrle at the winter meetings in Dallas.

December 8: Not to be outdone, the Hot Stove was blazing in Anaheim this winter as well. C.J. Wilson took his straightedge hipster act to Southern California to join King Albert and the Halos.

December 10: Not only were Cardinals fans burning Pujols jerseys, we're sure some of them set fire to the full page ad he took out in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

Honorable mention: Ryan Braun's entire 2011 season: from the badassery of becoming a 30-30 player to his National League MVP award, that time he face-planted just in time to be tagged out and miss the opportunity to hit an inside-the-park home run, and of course, his recent failed drug test and his (alleged) bout of herpes. Not exactly in that order.

We were also pleased to hear earlier this month that Bryan Stow was making positive strides in his recovery from the vicious beating he endured on Opening Day in the Dodger Stadium parking lot. Our thoughts and prayers are still with his family and friends throughout the holiday season.

By the way, in case you enjoy lists and missed the Top Ten things we were oh-so-thankful for in 2011, you can find that here in our Thanksgiving post. No, Joe Mauer was not one of them.

What was the most memorable moment of the 2011 season for you?

Mark DeRosa Still Plays Baseball, Signs with Washington Nationals for One Year

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 20:06:00 +0000

In the midst of rebuilding with several attempts to finally become contenders in the National League East, the Washington Nationals have signed Mark DeRosa out of free agency. This isn't quite as big of news as the Gio Gonzalez trade, but we thought at least Mark deserved some credit for persuading a team to pay him to play for them.

The 36-year-old utility player spent last season with the San Francisco Giants batting .279 in 86 at bats. Not a lot of action there at all after having surgery on two separate occasions in last two years for recurring problems with his left wrist. Considering players use their wrists all the time to do all sorts of things... like hit, catch, throw, and high five, this is never good.

DeRosa has a .272 career batting average over 14 big league seasons with six different organizations, as displayed in the lovely photo montage at the top of this post.

All kidding aside, this deal gives the Nationals an undisclosed amount of versatility on the bench and an extra option all over the infield in the unfortunate event that someone gets hurt and is unable to perform. DeRosa has spent time at all four infield positions and has even started some in right field, so he'll make a handy back-up.

[Washington Post]

Oakland Athletics Trade Andrew Bailey and Ryan Sweeney to Boston... Wait, What?

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 08:00:00 +0000

Has Billy Beane completely lost his mind, or is he using his "money ball" magic to rebuild the Oakland Athletics and improve on their future?

The team traded closer Andrew Bailey and outfielder Ryan Sweeney to the Boston Red Sox on Wednesday for outfielder Josh Reddick (who looks like he's about 12) and two other prospects. This is excellent news for Boston, who was in desperate need of a pitcher to work the ninth inning since the departure of Jonathan Papelbon, who joined to the Philadelphia Phillies for four years, $50 million back in November.

Bailey, the 2009 American League Rookie of the Year, went 0-4 with a 3.24 ERA and 24 saves over 41.2 innings last year. He landed on the disabled list for the second straight season with a strained right forearm and didn't end up making an appearance until May 29, but managed to stay healthy after that.

Sweeney, who will turn 27 this February, hit .265 with 25 RBI and one home run in 108 games for Oakland last season. What an athlete.

In addition to Bailey, the A's have also gotten rid of Trevor Cahill and reliever Craig Breslow, who were traded away to the Arizona Diamondbacks early in December, just eight months after Oakland handed Cahill a five-year, $30.5 million contract. Let's also not forget about lefty Gio Gonzalez, who was sent to the Washington Nationals last Thursday.

Reddick batted .280 with seven homers and 28 RBI in 87 games for Boston last season, and has the valuable ability to play any outfield position. This will come in handy for the A's, who've lost David DeJesus and Josh Willingham to free agency this winter. Meanwhile, center fielder Coco Crisp is not expected to return either.

For Oakland however, we wonder how they think they have or will ever come out on top of this deal. Along with Reddick, the'll also receive two minor leaguers: first baseman Miles Head and right-handed pitcher Raul Alcantara. Are these two the future of the Athletics?

Beane is apparently expecting these youngsters to make a run with the A's in the next few years while also crossing his fingers for a new ballpark someday. That would be nice, considering they went 74-88 in 2011 and haven’t enjoyed a winning record or even made the playoffs since being swept in the 2006 ALCS by the Detroit Tigers.

[Daily Pitch]

Gio Gonzalez Deal Complete, Washington Nationals Looking Better All the Time

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 04:04:00 +0000

The Nationals are not messing around anymore. Finalizing the deal that began as just another rumor back in November, the Oakland Athletics have officially sent Gio Gonzalez to Washington in a six-player trade.

The 26-year-old lefty will join an already promising rotation and pitch between talented young right-handers Jordan Zimmermann and Stephen Strasburg, both of whom recovered from reconstructive elbow surgery and still throw mad heat. Heat like Gonzalez, whose fastball is regularly clocked at 92-95 mph when he's not attempting to perfect his 10-4 curve and changeup.

Gonzalez went 16-12 last season seeing a career high in victories with a 3.12 ERA over 32 starts. He was also selected to his very first All-Star game, so there's that. He'll be a nice addition to a team that has made some major improvements since finishing dead last in the National League East three consecutive seasons from 2008-10. Last year they managed to finish third with an 80-81 record. Maybe they'll win their division some day and make the playoffs!

While the Nationals also received minor league pitcher Robert Gilliam, Oakland landed four players in the deal: catcher Derek Norris, right-handers A.J. Cole and Brad Peacock, and left-hander Tommy Milone.

[Washington Post]

Yorvit Torrealba Shoves Face Mask of Umpire in Venezuela, Suspended 66 Games

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 06:35:00 +0000

Every player knows you can never win an argument over balls and strikes with an umpire. It just doesn't happen. Every player also knows you cannot, under any circumstances, whether intentional or not, touch an umpire. Not only can you not touch an ump, it's certainly not okay to bitch slap one right across the face.

Apparently Yorvit Torrealba didn't get that memo.

While playing for the Leones del Caracas of the Venezuelan League on Friday, the Texas Rangers catcher became slightly upset with the home plate ump. After taking a down-right ugly and embarrassing swing at a breaking ball, he was wrung up and immediately turned to argue. You'd think an 11-year veteran would understand the concept of striking out and just walk away, hoping for a better at bat next time.

But in the passion of the moment, Torrealba bitched and moaned for roughly 15 seconds before doing the unthinkable: the moron shoved the umpire away by hitting him in the face mask. Amazing.

Torrealba was suspended 66 games (a nice round number) for the incident, according to league president Jose Grasso Vecchio's Twitter stream. Of course, the backstop feels like a complete ass:

“I wanted to express my sincere apologies to all parties for my actions. I have extended an apology to the Rangers organization as well. I am embarrassed for my conduct, and personally relayed that feeling to the umpire after that night’s game. On the field, I strive to be an example for children, especially those in my native Venezuela, and I regret my actions. I understand the reactions to the incident and will make every effort to set a positive example in the future.”

[ESPN Dallas]

Little Girl Gets Punked by Parents, Hates Her New Chicago Cubs Pillow Pet

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 05:30:00 +0000

Hilarious video of a little Chicago White Sox fan who apparently hates the Cubs so much it makes her want to scream and cry. Enjoy.

[The Last Angry Fan]

Don't Quit Your Day Jobs Ball State Players, Which is Playing Baseball, Not Singing

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 20:13:00 +0000

The absolute cheesiness of this holiday performance by the adorable Ball State Cardinals baseball team (god we hope it's intentional) was too hilarious not to share. Enjoy... or not.

Happy Holidays everyone! We'll be back for you after Christmas.

[Big League Stew]

Prince Fielder Still a Homeless Free Agent, Where Will He Play in 2012 and Beyond?

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 18:11:00 +0000

It's a little odd that Prince Fielder is still out there on the free agent market. We thought for sure he'd be signed some time during the winter meetings, either before or after the Albert Pujols hoopla. When that didn't happen, we figured he was just being choosy.

A few different teams have been named in the rumor mill, which is full of speculation and lies. We love it.

The Texas Rangers, who clearly have the money to spend after flaunting $51.7 million for rights to negotiates with Yu Darvish and his Nippon Ham Fighters, might be a good fit for the free agent first baseman. First off, The Ballpark in Arlington is a hitter's paradise and Fielder has a huge baseball bat. Second, Mitch Moreland is not Prince Fielder.

Then again, big names in Texas like Josh Hamilton, Nelson Cruz, and Ian Kinsler will have contracts ending in the coming years, and the Rangers need to be prepared to shell out more years and money if they sign Fielder to the long-term deal he's demanding.

Then there's the Seattle Mariners. For any questions you have on why the Mariners would or wouldn't be a nice place for the former Milwaukee Brewers star to call home, please consult this article from Lookout Landing: a Prince Fielder FAQ. Jeff Sullivan answered questions we hadn't even thought of and didn't know existed such as "Is Fielder going to get a big contract? Yes, especially relative to yours." Also, Justin Smoak is not Prince Fielder.

Let's not forget about the lovable losers, those Chicago Cubs. As a former division rival, we would love to see Fielder end up playing first base at Wrigley Field. Then again, we're not die hard Brewers fans. There have been countless reports on the team pursuing him, but there have been countless others to the contrary. Everyone knows general managers and owners are a bunch of liars in the offseason though, so we don't know what to believe. Who knows if anyone from the Windy City has even officially spoken with Fielder or his agent, Scott Boras. But with the loss of first baseman Carlos Pena to free agency, the Cubbies could definitely use the power at the plate. Why are they everyone's mystery team this winter anyway?

There are a few other clubs whose names have been dropped into the rumor mill, such as the Toronto Blue Jays and Washington Nationals. Here's the thing though. Prince and ~~the Revolution~~ his people are seeking a 10-year contract. That's an entire decade for a guy who's about 75 pounds overweight and already 27 years old, turning 28 on May 9. It's going to be tough to get a lengthy agreement like that from any team for any player, unless you're Alex Rodriguez or Albert Pujols.

[MLB Trade Rumors]

Texas Rangers Win Yu Darvish Sweepstakes for a Ridiculous $51.7 Million

noreply@blogger.com (Sooze) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 16:48:00 +0000

Remember the Daisuke Matsuzaka hype back in 2006 when everyone thought he invented some new pitch called the "gyroball" that defied space and time? Remember when the Boston Red Sox boasted the highest negotiation bid at $51 million, ended up signing him, and he wound up just being a normal Japanese guy who wasn't any better than John Lackey?

Yeah, so you can understand our skepticism when it comes to Yu Darvish, the newest pitching sensation to possibly hit Major League Baseball. We're not saying he's no better than John Lackey -- that would make the team who literally paid millions of dollars to simply talk with him pretty stupid -- we're just saying we hope he's worth it.

The Texas Rangers are the lucky team to have won the bid to the rights to negotiate with the half Japanese-half Iranian star this weekend to the tune of a record $51.7 million. C.J. who?

Darvish, a tall and lean 25-year-old Olympian right-hander who's the ace of the Nippon Ham Fighters in Japan, has 30 days to accept a contract from the Rangers. If they can't work something out, he will return to Japan for the 2012 season and the Rangers would be refunded the posting fee.

So you must be wondering what on earth is so special about Darvish that makes simply negotiating a contract with him worth almost $52 million? We are too. That is a disgusting amount of money. However, he's considered the best pitcher in the land after posting five consecutive seasons of an ERA under 2.00, including last season when he he went 18-6 with a 1.44 ERA and struck out an incredible 276 in 232 innings. All of this with the capability to throw 95-mph heat and a sneaky slider.

So, he's probably worth the money. But how much is Texas willing to spend on top of that? It will be very interesting to see how his presence would affect sports gambling on sites like SportsbookBonus.com, where if you're looking for the best sportsbook sign up bonus out there, they’ll have you covered. And you won't need to spend $51.7 million just to sign up.

Ever since seeing Darvish pitch in the 2009 World Baseball Classic for Japan, I can't help but be reminded of a whirling dervish when I hear his name. I believe we'll call him Whirling Darvish if he moves to Arlington... which by the way, couldn't be any more opposite of Japan.

[ESPN]