Baby Shmizz

8 months

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 12:55:00 +0000

And I missed the weight and length thing again. I'm sorry, I suck.

Eats: Still on Target Gentle and going strong! So.much.cheaper. And we still have a stash of breastmilk in the freezer, thinking she might actually make it to like 11 months with some breastmilk mixed in there. She is still a big fan of cereal, gobbles it down like its candy. And we are loving all kinds of baby food, which is awesome. Mizzle has been having a blast trying out all the new baby foods with her. I think BeechNut has had some changes since Jack was a baby, because their jars are different and they have a bunch of new flavors like papaya/mango/kiwi, broccoli/carrot/strawberry that I don't remember from Jack. I also think that Mizzle is desperate to have a kid that eats anything and everything like he does, and not a child that has her mother's palate. She is working on holding her bottle, does pretty well with this at daycare, but for the most part we hold it at home. She will grab it and stick it in her mouth, but then she lets us finish for her.

Sleeps: Usually up once per night. I know she can sleep through the night, because she occasionally will if she is super tired after daycare. She will sleep until about 6:15 if that is the case, otherwise, she is usually up around 3-4 for a bottle and then right back down. Sometimes if I am ridiculously tired (well, always) I will just feed her and put her back down awake, she protests loudly for a few minutes and then goes back to sleep. She is still on a good nap schedule at home, usually around 9 am and then again around 1 pm. Bedtime is still 7-7:30pm.

Likes: Her favorite toy currently is this Infantino Circus toy which was actually Jack's. She LOVES it. She slams down on those levers and buttons, flips the toy over, tries to eat it, kicks it, pushes it...she's just obsessed. And once again, keeping with her trend of being the opposite of her brother, she is also a huge fan of her little baby toys like the rattles, crinkley toys, etc. Jack was done with those after a few months, but she is still going strong and I love it :) Her favorite food is currently apples, we can mix apples into anything and she will eat it. Still obsessed with her brother, he is able to make her laugh pretty much all the time, she smiles and squeals whenever she sees him.

Dislikes: Being left alone for anything longer than 0.25 seconds. Especially when she knows I'm home. I'm not allowed to be out of her sight, or else all hell will break loose. We are definitely attached at the hip most days. Although peek-a-boo is a fun game, I'd like her to develop object permanance so that I can at least go to the bathroom or get a drink without screaming. She also hates getting her nose wiped or boogers sucked out. But oh well on that one, because we're going to keep doing it anyway.

Milestones: Moved up to the Convertible carseat! No more baby bucket seat :( I'm sad and happy at the same time. I'm happy to not lug that heavy ass thing around, but I'm also sad that this is just another move away from being an infant. She is much more tolerant of the carseat now, and its easier for Jack to reach her, and I think she can see him better. I actually caught them holding hands in the car the other day, I tried to get a picture but I wasn't fast enough. We are sitting up rock solid now a days, no more need for the Boppy behind her. And, even thought it was 10 days after she turned 8 months old, she got her first tooth! Bottom center left :)

Baby Girl,
Someday you'll understand when you are a mommy and have 2 kids...but I was totally overwhelmed this month and didn't get to write you a proper letter. I'll make it up to you next month, I promise :)
So much love,
Mommy

7 months

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Sat, 07 Mar 2015 16:46:00 +0000

Weight & Length? Oops. Better luck next month!

Eats:
We switched her formula (again!). Of course, money was the factor. Even though I've been getting good deals on the Gerber Soothe, we were running out of coupons and needed formula. I didn't realize that Target made a gentle formula that had the pre-digested proteins, so we decided to try that, and she was fine! Its the same price regularly as the Gerber smaller container would be, so its definitely a good deal. This month she really got into baby food also, which has been a lot of fun. Her favorites are definitely fruit & cereal. She loves apples the best it seems, and scarfs down yogurt just like her brother. We also tried puffs, and she mostly just plays with them and gets them all over her face and hair, but its still cute and she gets so excited when she sees the container. Bottles are now up to 7-8 oz, and girlfriend is growing fast!

Sleeps:
I think we may have a decent nap schedule in place! She usually naps for about 45 minutes to an hour in the morning, usually around 9 am. Then she will go down again for about 1.5 hours around 1-2 pm. Bedtime is still 7 pm, sometimes we can stretch her out a little later but there really isn't any point because she doesn't sleep any later in the morning. She has been getting up once a night again for a bottle, but she was starting to have a good streak of sleeping through the night. I think most of that has to do with the 6 month growth spurt. And we are still not napping at daycare. She will usually take 2-3 15 minute cat naps, but that's about it. Jack was the same way.

Likes:
Since she started sitting up on her own, she has been loving all the older baby toys. She loves the Fisher Price Kitchen, and her Busy Zoo activity center that Santa got her. She also loves to sit on the floor with a basket of toys in front of her, she takes them all out and chews on each one for a little while. Still a huge fan of the exersaucer, and she kinda likes the jumperoo, but not as much. Her fave person seems to be Jack, she always has a huge smile for him and watches every little thing that he does. We also switched her to sitting up in the baby tub instead of reclining, and she loves to play with her toys and chew on them. She splashes around like a little fish, she definitely loves her bath!

Dislikes:
Being left alone in a room. If she is awake and sitting up playing, and you happen to like, go to the bathroom or something, oh hell no. She is not a fan. She is definitely at the stage when someone goes from her sight she thinks they are gone forever and doesn't realize they will come back. She's getting better about the car, though long car rides are still not fun. Oh and green beans and sweet peas are apparently poison. Who knew?!

Sweet Girl,

I think you've finally reached the age where you are fun and interactive and just plain awesome. I mean you were always awesome before, but lately you are so.much.fun. I love being able to sit with you and play toys and watch you play. You are still my little sidekick and like to be with me whenever I'm around, but that's ok. I've gotten used to doing many tasks one handed, with you perched on my hip with the other arm.

You are so smiley and happy, and I think really for the first time ever, I can say that you are a "good" baby. Meaning that you are happy, you take naps and you are content for the majority of the time. I will admit, Sadie Lady, that the first few months were pretty rough. I know that wasn't your fault, I know that was the reflux, but it was so hard at times, and honestly, Mommy was ready to jump off a cliff at least once. But now that things are under control and we know what to look for when your reflux is acting up, we can keep you comfy and happy. It's pretty awesome seeing you so happy all of the time, and having everyone notice how sweet you are.

I love you so much...
Love,
Mommy

6 months

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Tue, 13 Jan 2015 14:22:00 +0000

Happy Half Birthday!

Weight: 15 lbs 5 oz, 30th% (pedi office on 1/7/15)
Length: 27.5", 90th% (growth spurt!)

Eats: Still on Gerber Soothe primarily, 6 oz bottles for quite a while now. I can't see her drinking more than that any time soon, because most of the time she doesn't even finish that! We kinda took a break from baby food for a few weeks, December was a month of sickness for our house and I didn't feel like pushing it with the food if she didn't like it. However, she still loves cereal! Definitely her fave so far. Otherwise, we've tried squash, sweet potatoes, pears, apples, bananas, and yogurt yesterday. She seems to like the less sweet things, which is not what I expected. Her fave things besides cereal so far are the yogurt, and then a frozen cube of pears in her mesh feeder. Pretty sure she's teething now so that must feel good on her gums. Santa brought her some puffs in her stocking, can't wait to start those!

Sleeps: Someday, I hope, she will sleep in her crib. I've realized now that this is not an obstinance thing, but more of a comfort thing for her. During December she had a huge growth spurt and basically her Prilosec dose was too low for her weight, so we are just catching up now with the correct dose. When her reflux acts up, she doesn't sleep well lying flat. We do have 2 fleece blankets underneath the head of her crib mattress but it never seems to be enough and I'm too nervous to add any more for fear that she'll roll into the side of the crib & get stuck. So for now, we are sleeping in the Rock N Play about 75% of the time. That was the best $20 I've ever spent! Thank you consignment sales! She is still getting up once a night, don't see that ending any time soon.

Likes: We busted out the Jumperoo last week and she loves it! When she jumps Jack says she is dancing, its really cute! She also got a light-up piano from Santa Claus that she is obsessed with. She pounds on that thing and gets all excited when it plays music back to her. Lately she is also liking rattles, or anything that makes noise. She is less so interested in the crinkley toys like she was a few months ago. Girlfriend definitely has changing interests! Her favorite toys are still her hands...always with the hands in the mouth. I wish she would just stick her thumb out and suck her thumb instead, I think we would all be much happier :)

Dislikes: taking medicine. O.M.G. So on 12/20 we ended up in urgent care and she was diagnosed with a double ear infection. So she was on Amoxicillin for a week, and she totally hated it. Most kids love the "bubble gum medicine", but she does NOT. We ended up with a mostly effective way of getting her to take it though: squirt about an mL in the back of her mouth, plug her nose and it forces her to swallow. She screams, opens her mouth and the whole process repeats until the whole dose is in. Some people might say its cruel, and I suppose it kind of is, but she needs to take her medicine!

Milestones: First Christmas! She was so cute in her little Christmas outfit, I wish I took more pictures :( It was so awesome to see her in the same Christmas jammies as Jack and to think that both of my kids wore the same things. She loved the wrapping paper, and loved slapping the presents and trying to open them. Jack was a good big brother and "helped" her open all her presents. All morning long it was (in a high pitched voice of course) "Sadie! What's dis?!"

My Little Lizard,

You are getting to be such a big girl! Your personality is definitely shining through, you are so smiley and loving, and happy. Well, happy when you have the right dose of Prilosec, but that's Mommy's fault, not yours ;) You are so curious and love to be right up in the middle of everything. Your future as a Daddy's girl is already starting, you love to sit in your Bumbo chair and watch Daddy cook. And you love your big brother more than anyone. He can make you laugh and smile even when you are crying.

I can't believe we are already at your half birthday...time is flying by. I'm trying to soak up every minute of your babyness that I can. Your soft kissable cheeks, your chunky thighs, your teeny tiny feet! Speaking of your feet, they are so narrow! You are growing out of the 0-3 month size lengthwise, but the 3-6 is too wide and they fall off! Girlie you have so many cute shoes you gotta chunk up those feeties!

Lizard, I love it when you stick out your little tongue, its the cutest thing! That's how you got that nickname :) You smile with your tongue out, play toys with your tongue out, pretty much everything. You look so cute with your sparkly little eyes and that tiny little tongue. Such a cute little imp :)

Oh girlie...I feel like even though its only been 6 months, it feels like a lifetime because it seems like you were always meant to be with us, like you were the missing piece and now you are finally here. It's so much fun to see you grow and you are everything I ever dreamed of little girlie...

I love you,
Mommy

5 Months

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Sat, 13 Dec 2014 02:52:00 +0000

A week late. So sue me.

Weight:
Length:

Eats:
Still on Gerber Soothe primarily, getting fresh or frozen BM once or twice a day. If I'm home with her all day long, I try to primarily give her BM just so that my stash is getting used. She is up to 6 oz bottles now, we did try 7 oz, but that didn't last for more than a few days so I think it was a growth spurt. And she is more of a grazer than anything. Unless she is growing, she will eat 2-3 oz, then an hour or so later will eat another 2-3 oz. If she is growing, she will suck down 6-7 oz in like 10 minutes. At around 4.5 months we started on solids. We started with oatmeal cereal first, which she loves! Jack hated cereal, it's so fun to see the differences between the two of them. We've also done butternut squash and pears and she is not really a fan. She definitely liked the pears more (I roasted them with cinnamon- fancy!) but she tends to gag on the actual foods, whereas she takes the cereal like a champ. She definitely has a strong gag reflex, and I wonder if that is tied to the fact that she gets hiccups all the time? Who knows. And we are still on Prilosec, I'm too chickenshit to try and wean her off of it - it definitely helps her so much.

Sleeps:
For about 2 weeks, she was sleeping 12 hours straight through the night, but over the past few days she has been getting up and having trouble going back to sleep. On her 5 month birthday, she got either her first cold or full on teething. She has a bit of a runny nose and doesn't really want to eat, drooling more (if that was even possible!) and seems congested. She has been kinda sorta maybe getting on a nap schedule, I'm trying to put her down around 9 am and 1-2 pm for 2 naps/day. Sometimes it works, sometimes it's a marathon of 20-30 minute cat naps.

Likes:
To hear her voice! This girl loves to babble, yell, shriek - you name it. She started blowing raspberries the other day, and she definitely has plenty of drool to supply the classic wet raspberry. She is also a huge fan of the exersaucer. You put her in it and she goes to town on all the toys. Her favorites are the chameleon and the spinning clear ball with the beads inside. She still likes her playmat, and now that her arms are long enough she grabs the little hanging bees & other toys and yanks on them and tries to put them in her mouth. Also, I think she has her first little friend at daycare! Our daycare has this awesome app (Kaymbu) on their iPads in each classroom where they can take pics of the kids and send them to 8 email addresses supplied by the parents. I've gotten a few pics where Sadie is in the bouncer and Dorothy is rocking her. Or she would be in the swing and Dorothy was close by. Dorothy is just about a year old, and is the 2nd cutest kid in the class (after Sadie of course). We also moved Sadie up to a bigger baby bathtub (Eurobath Primo) and she loves it! She kicks and splashes and would stay in there all night if the water stayed warm enough. Over Thanksgiving weekend I bought her a little pink rubber ducky - her first bath toy :)

Dislikes:
Still not a fan of the car, but its getting so much better. We recently discovered that the FP Seahorse helps settle her down in the car, as well as the Baby Shusher app (best $5 I've spent in a long time). And really, aside from the car there isn't much that she doesn't like.

Milestones:
Starting solids! Hopefully I can get my butt in gear and post the pictures we took, some of them came out really cute. She also had her first Thanksgiving, she went to Nana & Papa's for dinner with Mike & Jack while I worked, then I met them there. Then we drove down to CT the next day for her first Gumbo Gathering! She also met her new cousin Ricky, who is about 1.5 months younger than her. I'm sure those 2 will be stirring up trouble just like me and his dad have done through the years ;) She rolled over for the first time from back to belly, but she's only done it once and that was about 3 weeks ago. That time she was on her playmat on top of Jack's trampoline so I think she had a little leverage from the bouncing of the trampoline. So of course now I start to worry that she's behind, but then I remind myself that she is so so so verbal, so I think she is going to dominate in that area. Plus, it's hard to roll over and meet physical milestones when you still want to be held all.the.time.

Sadie Lady,

My little bunny I can't believe you are 5 months old already! I knew it would happen when I went back to work that the days & weeks would fly by and you would grow up way too fast. I love how you wake up in the morning and occupy yourself for about 5 minutes cooing and talking to the animals on your mobile - its the best sound to wake up to :) Although I much prefer that sound when it happens after 6 am, ok?

You are still my social little girl, loving to be all up in the middle of everything. Now that you are big enough for the exersaucer, you stand up in there and bang on the toys and shriek and make your presence known. You are so busy in there! It's like you have a mission to get that chameleon to sing to you all the live long day :) Now that you've discovered that those 2 little leggies of yours are for standing, that's all you want to do. I'll hold you on my lap and you will push up on your legs, Jack comes over and sits next to us and makes you giggle. It's the best :)

It's been a wild 5 months so far Sadie, but I wouldn't change it for the world. Sometimes I get so frustrated because you cry in the car or sometimes you won't sleep, but I hope you know how much I love you. Just because sometimes it seems like I'm going completely crazy (even though I probably really am), its just because I want to be the best mom that I can, and sometimes that's a hard thing to accomplish. But every day I look at you and think back to when I first imagined having a daughter of my own, and I realize that you are everything that I ever dreamed of.

I love you,
Mommy

Her eyes - she's like a little doe...

I absolutely love the way he looks at her, makes my heart swell

Halloween Photo Dump

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Mon, 17 Nov 2014 17:07:00 +0000

For Jack's first Halloween we had a jillion pictures. Perfectly posed. Pictures with the carved pumpkins. Pictures with Mommy & Daddy.

This year? I was lucky if I got 5 pictures. Jack was itching to go out trick-or-treating with his friends and the neighbors, Sadie was kinda fussy, we were waiting for my family to get here and my anxiety was out.of.control. and the gratuitous noise was making me iNsAnE.

BUT. The kids had fun. That's all that matters.

Here's what I got for pics, in collage form because I'm too lazy to watermark individual pics right now.

4 Months

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Fri, 14 Nov 2014 15:56:00 +0000

Ok so I'm a week late. But I can promise that these pics were from the day she turned 4 months, so at least I got that!

Weight: 13.55 lbs, 33rd %ile (from her 4 month pedi visit)
Length: 24.5", 50th %ile

Eats:
Still on the Gerber Soothe and doing well! She is also fed about 1/3 breastmilk, and I'm amassing quite the freezer stash too. The ILs bought us a chest freezer for our anniversary, so I've been storing it in there. Right now I'm going the whole gift-bag storage method, but if someone has something a little easier, I'd love to hear it! We got the green light for solids at the pedi visit, but I think we are going to wait. We just moved her up to 5 oz bottles about a week before she turned 4 months, and as I'm writing this we are moving her up to 6 oz bottles. Pedi said if she is taking 8 oz and still seems hungry, then she's ready. She's not even close if that is the starting point. We started at 4 months with Jack and it was a struggle, he hated it, so I'm in no rush with Sadie. We'll start somewhere between 5-6 months most likely but for now bottles are just fine :) Oh, and this isn't really eating related, but she is still on Prilosec. We decided to keep the dose the same instead of adjusting for weight to see if she will essentially wean off of it as she gets bigger and starts eating more solids.

Sleeps:
She is quite the catnapper! 20 minutes at a time at daycare if they are lucky and I know its driving them nuts, but Jack was the same way. She will nap for me at home (45 minutes is a good nap), but thats in a dark room, with white noise and a music CD. She is still sleeping well at night despite her latest move: into the crib! The weekend after she turned 4 months Jack was at the ILs for the weekend because Mike and I were working, so we figured it was a good time to transition her to the crib. She did great! The first night she slept 7:30-5:30 straight through! As much as I miss her being in our room, I know she is sleeping better without being woken up by us (whether it be snoring or getting up/getting home from work). I'm also trying to break her of her addiction to THE BALL. I'm trying to just be able to rock her in the rocking chair before bed instead of needing to bounce her. It works about 50% of the time. I just want to be able to sit in the rocking chair, feed her a bottle and snuggle her, instead of bouncing and not being able to really snuggle her. We'll get there...in time.

Likes:
Current favorite toy is her playmat! She now purposely grabs at the toys and will play on there for about 25 minutes at a time. I can tell that she is starting to see more colors and lights, because now she seems mesmerized by toys that light up or play music. Before it was just crinkle sounds and black & white, but now she seems to be starting to like colors. She still likes to be held a lot, probably because then she can see more of what's going on and be all up in the party.

Dislikes:
Still hates the car. She is a smidge better now that she can really play with the toy bar on her carseat (we have this one). Jack got a new carseat (Graco Nautilus) and the side profile is not as deep as his Britax Roundabout, so he is able to reach out and bang the toys to make them light up or make noise to soothe her. We've also come to rely on the Baby Shusher app (available on iTunes & Android) for when she starts really crying in the car. And damn does it work! Instead of us hyperventilating and going dizzy from shushing her, this app does it for us. I feel like such a yuppy shmuck for saying that but hey, whatever works. Both Mike and I have it on our phones, and it was well worth the $4.99 purchase (coming from someone who loathes to pay for any apps).

Milestones:
We are smiling, cooing (rather talking up a storm and yelling randomly) and grabbing at toys so far :) She has yet to grab something and purposefully bring it to her mouth, I think things end up at her mouth simply because she happens to be holding them and she really just wants to chew on her hands (her favorite toy). She isn't rolling yet, but she's kinda close. I was a little worried, but then the pedi pointed out because she likes to be held so much and also because when her reflux was out of control she didn't want to be put flat on the ground, that has hindered her from really being able to roll. And I remember hearing when Jack was little that babies are usually dominant in either social/verbal or motor milestones. Jack was more of the motor type, and I think Sadie is a little social butterfly and is concentrating more on working towards talking our ears off in the future. Oh! And another milestone! First Halloween! Coming up in another post :)

Little Muffin,

So we made it through our first month back at work & daycare! I can tell you are moving out of your newborn phase, you seem to be so intrigued by the world around you and want to see everything and be up in the middle of everything. You have so much to say, you coo all the time and tell us lots of "stories". You are such a social little girl, you smile back at everyone who talks to you, and you wiggle your whole body when you smile. You are just such a happy little thing most of the time :)

You are still my little teeny girl, we just moved you up to 3-6 month clothes! Most of your pants are still 3 months and fit perfectly :) Now that your feet have gotten a smidge bigger, we bought you some baby shoes and OMG is Mommy having fun with that! I went shopping with Gramma, Auntie Kellie (your BFFL) and Jack and we picked out some pink Ugg boots for you, and some silver dress shoes and sparkly shoes for Christmas. You have the best dressed feeties out there!

One of my favorite things that you do lately is how you snuggle up right into my shoulder when I'm holding you. Your little arm holds onto my shoulder and you nuzzle your face into my neck. It's the best! I love when you wake up in the morning and I go in and get you and you have the biggest smile for me. You are such a bright and happy little girl, and it just warms my heart to see you smile :)

I love you so much my little muffin, thank you for being the baby girl we've always dreamed about...
Love,
Mommy

Look at those EYES...so beautiful

Reflux update!

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Wed, 08 Oct 2014 13:00:00 +0000

So if I didn't think that Sadie had reflux before, I definitely think she has it now.

Last week sometime we ran out of her Prilosec because I had spilled the bottle a few days after she started it. (I would have gotten a refill, but my shitty insurance wouldn't cover it 3 days early and that shit is $100+ out of pocket and it was a Sunday when we ran out and I didn't feel like going through the whole rigamarole with the on call pedi) We only missed her dose for 3 days, but man could you tell the difference. After day 2 of missing it she was fussy constantly, arching her back, puking more and just generally inconsolable. About 4 days after restarting, she was back to napping, less puking, no arching. My parents were here for the weekend and day 4 when the Prilosec fully kicked back in even my mom noticed a difference. I don't think its a fluke either, because it was day 4 or 5 that the Prilosec kicked in when we started it for the very first time.

I've also noticed a difference if she doesn't have the medicine first thing in the morning. A few times I haven't remembered to give it to her until the afternoon, and I've noticed that she is definitely more fussy. The hard part is trying to time her dosing on an empty stomach. Usually she isn't completely "empty", but I do try to not feed her immediately before or after.

She still gets hiccups multiple times per day, almost 20-30 minutes after eating without fail. There has to be some biologic reason for it, but I have no idea what. I've never known someone to get hiccups like 5 times per day. It just seems weird. We give her gripe water when they start which stops them, because if we don't she gulps in a lot of air and then gets gassy and uncomfortable. Sometimes if she's having a particularly bad day, she'll get a shot of gripe water with a chaser of Mylicon. It's a cocktail I like to call "The Sadie" ;)

She still pukes a lot, but when she has her medicine its a lot less forceful - meaning it doesn't shoot out her nose as well. When my sister Kellie was little she was a puker too, and my parents called her "The Spew Monster" for a while. Well, Sadie is taking after her Auntie and is a Spew Monster as well :)

So, all in all, things are pretty much under control when it comes to the reflux, I just hope it stays this way and she grows out of needing the meds at some point :)

Back to work...

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Wed, 08 Oct 2014 02:09:00 +0000

Maternity leave is over.

Today I'm back at work.

I had a shift at my per diem job 2 weeks ago, which was good because I got my feet wet and realized I didn't forget how to do my job. I was legit worried about that, because technically I've been out of work for 4 months. Remember I was pulled from work in early June because of my blood pressure? Well its been almost 4 months to the day that I have worked.

I definitely feel different about going back now than I did with Jack. I'm ready for some adult interaction and to be able to get out of the house. It was a hard 3 months - Sadie was/is not an easy baby. She is definitely high maintenance and she hates her carseat so going places wasn't really on the top of my list. With Jack, we went out to dinner, went on day trips, went to CT for a week - it felt like a 3 month vacation. Sure there were difficult moments but it was pretty awesome all around. These past 3 months have been some of the most difficult times of my life. The month of August was the hardest. Jack is a very high-energy kid and trying to keep him occupied with a fussy baby 24-7 was beyond what I could handle some days. So going back to work actually seems like it might be a bit of a cake walk. (for now at least)

But I'm also sad to be going back because this is likely my last maternity leave. My NP doesn't think that my body can handle another pregnancy, and my wallet doesn't think I can afford another child (college, wedding, etc). It just feels so final, like this part of my life is over. Having kids made me feel young, like I was just starting out. And I know this is completely irrational, but suddenly I feel old. Like left out to pasture. (crazy, I know) I liked the excitement of trying for a baby, I liked the end of pregnancy (the beginning I could do without), I just liked this whole time in my life. And it's sad that it won't happen again.

3 Months

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Wed, 08 Oct 2014 02:08:00 +0000

A day late but still, um, WHAT?

Weight: 13 lbs (home scale)
Length: 24 inches (I double checked it twice!)

Eats:
Still on Gerber Soothe! She eats 4-5 oz bottles every 2-3 hours, sometimes 4 hours during the day if she doesn't feel like eating. Also, we are nursing/bottle of breastmilk 1-2x/day. Her belly seems much happier when we do this, I think because it keeps things moving. If she goes a few days without it, OMG her poop smells like death and is super dark green in color and more pasty. Plus, she's wicked fussy and then when she finally has a giant poop she acts better. So hopefully my prediction of my supply plummeting when I go back to work (tomorrow!) will not hold true.

Sleeps:
Girlfriend made her own bedtime - usually by 8:30. I've always been a proponent of letting kids make their own schedules, and the same holds true with Sadie. She definitely has her witching hours of about 4-8 pm, she is fussy, wants to be held constantly, doesn't really want to eat all that much. Then around 8, she starts to scream like the house is falling down and OMGWHERETHEHELLISMYBOTTLE and then she eats, passes out and we put her in her bassinet. Usually she will wake up about 5 minutes later, you have to rock her again before she's truly out, but I'm ok with that. And as for sleeping through the night, I've learned not to jinx myself and say 'OMG she sleeps for like 8 hours every night straight through its so awesome and my kid is so perfect!'. Yeah, screw that. We have our good nights & our bad nights. But eventually, everyone gets a few hours of sleep.

Likes:
Lately she has been loving reclining in the Boppy next to us on the couch. She always has to be up in the middle of everything, she definitely gets lonely and lets you know she doesn't like it. She still loves black & white patterns, and loves the sound of crinkly toys. Her playmat has parts of the mat that are crinkly and its funny to watch her squiggle over them and hear the sound and look like 'where the hell did that come from?' She also is a huge fan of her bath. She kicks her legs like crazy and splashes water everywhere. We usually just let her play in there until she gets goosebumps and wants to come out. If the water was constantly warmed, I swear she'd stay in there all day. Also, Jack is completely perplexed as to why she doesn't play with any toys in her tub ;)

Dislikes:
Still hates her carseat and being in a non-moving car. I've mastered the unfortunate art of driving one handed while I hold a pacifier in her mouth, or sometimes I feed her a bottle. Not great, but this stops the screaming and prevents me from having a full blown panic attack (truth - more on that in another post). She doesn't really dislike tummy time per-se, but she will only tolerate it for about 5 minutes. Jack was the same way, I think his reason was a sensory issue (common in kids with SPD), but for her I wonder if its her reflux or something. I think she will be a late roller because she doesn't tolerate long periods on her belly or long periods flat on the playmat. Shit, who am I kidding, she doesn't tolerate long periods of anything except being held!

My Little Bunny,

Well Girl, it's been 3 whole months since you made your debut. You are at such a fun age right now - so many smiles and the beginnings of giggles. When you smile you do it with your whole body - your face scrunches up, you pull your arms up to your face and kick your legs. I must admit, I get the biggest smiles, but that makes sense because you and I are usually attached at the hip. You are so social and alert, and love to be right up in the middle of everything.

It's so nice to see that your Prilosec is making you feel so much better, you just seem happier. I'm sad that it took us so long to figure out this was what you needed, because now I have to go back to work and we were just getting into a groove. I'm already looking forward to my next day off so we can snuggle all day :)

You've taught me a lot in these past 3 months, but most of all its patience. I've never been a very patient person, my grandfather always used to joke with me about it when I was little. But now that I've had you, I've learned that patience and staying calm in situations where you want to rip your hair out are truly virtues. I'm not perfect by any means and I've definitely lost my temper way too many times when you have been crying for a long time, but I'm trying. I'm getting better. You've taught me more about multitasking then I'd care to like. With you in the carrier/wrap, I can hold your pacifier with one hand, bounce & sway while vacuuming, emptying the dishwasher, putting away laundry, tidying up the house.

In just 3 short months you have made my world complete. Your fierce personality and bright smile are more than we ever could have wished for. I always tell your brother that he is my favorite boy. Well, you are my favorite girl. You've always been my favorite girl, even before I met you. It was meant to be Sadie Lady, it was meant to be...

I love you,
Mommy

She's not drunk, I swear...

This one is my fave! Look at that face!!!

Houston, We have a LOVEY!

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Fri, 03 Oct 2014 17:38:00 +0000

So I'm pretty sure that Sadie has picked a lovey. I kept putting little lovey stuffed animals and such in her arms while she was content in a bouncer or on the Boppy, but she could have cared less. One day, I was holding her and thought she was chilly, and she was fussy while trying to fall asleep for a nap. I wrapped her up in this fuzzy purple blanket we got from our favorite neighbor and she passed out within minutes. I did the same thing the next day and the same thing happened.

Now, when she is fussy and tired and we know she needs to nap, we snuggle her up in the blanket and scooch part of it up against her cheek and she just nuzzles right into it and goes to sleep. Its pretty cute :)

So naturally, I went to Amazon and searched out said blanket, and bought a backup. If you recall, Jack has 8 backup Frasses. But Frass was less than $15. Sadie's blanket? Well, see for yourself:

I happened to find one from another seller for like $24 so that was good. It's gonna take a while to build up my blanket stockpile ;)

So because I know you want to see pictures of my sweet girl all snuggled up, here you go :)

I wonder what cute silly name she is going to pick for her blanket?

{Giveaway}: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Thu, 02 Oct 2014 19:42:00 +0000

We've all had them. Days that went wrong right from the very start. Things happen that you just let your mouth hang open because they are so ridiculous.

I remember in high school I was late for class one day (math class, my least favorite) and was running to get there after the bell had already rung. I slipped turning into the classroom and ended up sliding into the room like it was home plate. To make matters worse? The teacher yelled "safe!" and told me to get up and go to my seat. Yeah. That was embarrassing. Or how about the time about 10 months ago when I was pregnant with Sadie and was barfing so hard in the bathroom that I peed my pants at the same time. I had to walk back into work with pee pants. Awesome.

On October 10th, Disney's Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day will be released in theaters. You remember this book from when you were a kid right? Totally relatable!

The movie stars one of my favorite funny dudes: Steve Carell, with the perfect co-star in Jennifer Garner. Based on the beloved childhood book, the movie follows along with 11 year old Alexander (played by Ed Oxenbould) and his crazy happenings of his bad day. Just like in the storybook, the movie also depicts the rest of the family having a horrible day. Oh, and Steve Carell chases a kangaroo. Truth - its pretty awesome.

If you want to learn more about the movie, watch the trailer, play games, learn about the cast & crew, and enter the SWEEPSTAKES! You can enter for a chance to win a Hawaiian vacation for a family of 4 to Disney's Aulani Resort & Spa on O'ahu! (must be US resident and 13+ years of age to enter)

To celebrate the opening of this soon-to-be family movie favorite, I'm giving away an Alexander prize pack! See how the baby's face is smeared with highlighter? Well you can win a highlighter of your own (hello, back to school supplies!), an official Alexander coffee mug, crocodile squeeze stress toy and the official Alexander reusable bag! Check it out:

Image courtesy of www.kidthings.net

Are you psyched for your next bad day? No? Well go win some prizes anyway, it will make you feel better :) This is a Rafflecopter giveaway open to US residents only, and ends October 7th :)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclaimer: I was provided a prize pack in exchange for my review. No other compensation was received and all opinions are my own.

So Lucky

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Thu, 11 Sep 2014 02:25:00 +0000

I really should be in bed, its like 10:15 and I have to get up early, and well with a baby you never know if you are getting a full nights sleep or an unending series of 20 minute naps.

But I just had to get these thoughts out of my heart.

I'm sitting here reading this article, and then I click over to the Facebook page, and I'm just struck with how freaking beautiful, adorable and perfect that little boy is. First of all, let me just get this out of the way and say fuck you Facebook, that wasn't a mistake, you are just backtracking on a bad PR move. Nice try. My next thought, is how incredibly lucky I am to have the healthy children I do.

I look at those pictures of Hudson and I think of Sadie. Her big beautiful doe eyes and sweet little smile. Her tiny little hands and miniature feets. As hard as the past 2 months have been, I love that little baby so much it hurts. The first month of her life is a total blur to me, I can't remember most of it even now. That kills me, because those memories should be set in stone, but well that's another post for another day. I can't imagine having the memories of my child be shrouded by a hospital and tubes coming out of every orifice. I am so very damn lucky to have the children I do.

Sure they have their issues, what with SPD and reflux, but honestly, in the grand scheme of things those aren't even problems. They are more like nuances of normal. We learn to adapt and make their lives so that those nuances are barely noticeable. And we are lucky that we can do that.

So basically what I'm saying through this late night word salad is that when I read things like that article or see pictures of children who are very ill, my heart just aches and I want to rush into my babies' rooms and scoop them up out of their beds and snuggle them like crazy. Because there are only so many more moments in this life that I can do that, you know before they grow up and start to think I'm weird and embarrassing or whatever.

And now, I think I'll go to bed because I'm sure that my inner monologue sounds much better than this post right now, and I'm gonna read it in the morning and be like "seriously? shoulda gone to bed ya dumb ass!"

2 Months

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Sun, 07 Sep 2014 02:02:00 +0000

Weight: 10 lbs 5 oz (29th %ile)
Length: 22.5" (60th %ile)
(measurements from 4 days ago at the pediatrician)

Sadie is definitely the little peanut compared to Jack! They are so different from each other, and its really kind of fun to see the differences and wonder what she will grow up to be like.

Eats: Well, we stopped breastfeeding at 5w6d. I tried, I did the best I could, but it was too stressful for me and wasn't working out. So we've switched to formula, and we've been around the block with that: Similac for Supplementation, Similac Sensitive, Target Sensitive, and now finally Gerber GoodStart Soothe, which seems to be working. I still nurse her maybe once every 2-3 days or add in a bottle of breastmilk, simply because it keeps her pooping. Girlfriend gets all sorts of pissed if she doesn't poop on a daily basis. She is her father's daughter, that's for damn sure. But back to eating...she's eating about 2.5-3 oz every 2-3 hours. I tried to bump her up to 4 oz, and she either didn't finish it or puked a good portion of it back up. And from what I've heard and read, babies with GI issues tend to have more small frequent meals. I'm ok with that, as long as she is content.

Sleeps: She is not a good napper, unless she is in the K'Tan, then she will nap for about 3-4 hours. Usually she is a cat-napper for about 20 minutes at a time during the day. She sleeps best swaddled, in the dark, with the sound machine on. She is a good night sleeper so far, and I feel like every time I talk about good sleeping habits I shoot myself in the foot and the kid is up all frigging night. So instead, I'll just bitch about her lack of napping :)

Likes: THE DAMN EXERCISE BALL. Oh my God the damn ball. I have a love hate relationship with it. We bounce on that thing half the day. She loves it. I don't know what it is about it, because even if you stand up and try to replicate the bouncing motion, its not the same and she flips out. My daughter is addicted to the exercise ball. I hope at least I'm getting some sort of benefit/exercise from bouncing on the thing so damn much. We even brought it on our beach vacation, and we bought one for my parents house in CT. Have ball, will travel. Her other like is my sister Kellie, her BFFL. She will smile all day long at Kellie, and its really cute to watch. She also loves Jack, and recognizes his voice and turns her head and smiles at him. Also, he seems to have a pretty good judge of what she needs when she is crying. Maybe because he remembers what its like to be that small?

Dislikes: having reflux and gas. I'm guessing that's the case because she cries so much. And I'm not talking about "bored fussing", I'm talking legit all out screaming. You can tell she is in pain, she cries real tears, jerks her legs up to her belly, arches her back, gets red in the face and scratches herself. It's pretty awful to watch and its actually really heartbreaking. We started Prilosec 3 days ago, and so far, fingers crossed it seems to be working. Oh please oh please oh please oh please let this be it! Her other dislike continues to be riding in the car. She hates the carseat unless she is fast asleep and the car is moving, or if she is being swung back and forth in it. Heaven help me if I am stuck in traffic or at a red light with her in the car. Lets just say that there is a lot of tears from everyone in the car, and lots of blaring music.

Baby Girl,

Oh Sadie baby, its been a rough month for all of us, especially you. Just when we thought we had this breastfeeding thing down, it became too much stress for me and I made the decision to stop. I think you are much happier with a less stressed mama, right? And then when we thought your reflux was getting better, it decided to get worse. There was a bright spot around 6 weeks when you seemed to be more content and you even started smiling at us! That was pretty awesome. You have the sweetest little smile, and even a sarcastic little smirk. I also love your eyes, you have these big, big blue eyes that just stare into mine when I'm feeding you your bottle. I joke that we are having a staring contest, because I don't ever look away from you, because I just love you so much :)

It breaks my mama heart to see you in so much pain, and I really hope we get to the bottom of this so that you can feel better. All Daddy and I want to do is just snuggle you! We would hold you all day if that's what it took to make you feel better, but somehow, that's not enough. But - we do have your ball :) Baby Girl, that ball is going to be deflated when we are done with it and put in your baby memory box. Because you love that ball. OMG do you love that ball.

I want you to know that even though sometimes I may scream and cry and be so frustrated because you are crying so much, I just want you to feel better and I still love you so much that is unfathomable. I'm doing my best to be a patient mommy and not be such a frazzled stressed out freak.

You are such a beautiful baby Sadie, and it makes my heart so full to know that you are a part of our lives. You are the baby girl that we waited so long for, and you are everything and more than I ever thought you would be.

I love you,
Mommy

Jack wanted in on the pictures again, but instead of smiling, it ended in a cheek-poking fest.

First Day of Preschool!

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Tue, 02 Sep 2014 20:24:00 +0000

So my baby Nugget has entered the public school system!!! Crazy to think that 4 years ago this time this little dude was just a mere 2 months old.

Jack is attending the preschool (Pre-K) at the public school so that he can have OT and speech integrated into his classroom day, and the teachers there are certified special education teachers, so he will benefit more from his time there. He is still going to his current daycare and has moved up to PS2 which is more geared towards learning letters, numbers, writing his name etc and just general kindergarten readiness. So essentially I guess you could say that he is going to 2 preschools, but whatever. It will be good for him to be familiar with the school for kindergarten next year, and if he gets better therapy time at the public preschool then I'm all for it!

So we've been prepping him for the past few weeks, talking about how he is going to "the big kid school" or "Karen's school" (Karen is his OT). We had the orientation last week so he could see the classroom, that went ok. It was crazy loud and crowded in there, because it was the AM & PM sessions plus 1-2 parents per kid and some siblings mixed in. He was totally overwhelmed and overstimulated, so we quickly retreated to the quiet corner table with the bristle blocks and then moved on to puzzles. After the orientation we brought him to Target so he could pick out a backpack and a 3-ring binder for his "Preschool Portfolio".

It was a crazy rushed morning today before his first day. I had visions of getting up early and making him pancakes, but that was a joke. I didn't get to bed until midnight last night because I was up filling out his emergency info for school online, then I was being picky about the "first day of _____" printable for him to hold for a picture tomorrow morning, so I ended up making my own. And then I had to pump, move laundry around, wash my face...and well then it was 12:30 and I was crawling into bed. 1:30 AM, Jack is at my bedside asking for milk, 10 minutes later he's in bed with us. 4:30 Sadie wakes up, and pretty much catnaps for 15 minutes at a time until my alarm at 6:30. Of course I push the snooze twice and get up at 6:45. Feed Sadie again, drag Jack out of bed and plop him down with a Pop-Tart and Chuggington on TV. Dress Sadie, put her in the crib with the mobile on, jump in the shower while she wails like a banshee, Mike comes home from work and picks her up, gets Jack dressed and we are out the door at 7:50. Pictures taken on the front step and off we go!

He was totally overwhelmed at the beginning, they had all the classes meet up in the gym, which was loud and busy and overstimulating for him. His little heart was racing and he wouldn't leave our side. So we stayed with him until the kindergarteners left for their classrooms and it was just his class left. Then he lined right up and walked right to his classroom. We watched him put his backpack on his hook, and then he turns around to his teacher, flexes a bicep and says "I'm really strong!". So.frigging.cute.

No tears from Mommy or Daddy, he's been in daycare for so long that we are used to him being in the care of others. Its weird to think that I have a kid in the public school system, still getting used to that fact. I'm interested in meeting some of the other parents, and seeing who his new little friends are.

And our first school fail? Got there literally 2 minutes late and he was the last one to be picked up, waiting with the teacher. Oops, my bad. ::points to screaming baby::

Wish me luck...

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Thu, 28 Aug 2014 11:46:00 +0000

Today I'm venturing on a 1 hour and 40 minute car ride with 2 kids.

One of which screams when the car stops.

The other gets antsy when there is about 20-30 minutes left in the trip.

I'm driving with Jack & Sadie by myself to CT for the weekend.

Mizzle has a lot to do at work and really isn't going to be around much this weekend and my mom really wanted me to come down with the kids, mostly so that my grandparents could meet Sadie, which is also really important to me. I was very iffy on whether or not I was going to make the trip, because frankly the thought of being stuck in traffic with a screaming baby in the backseat is terrifying.

I used the drive down to our beach vacation as a trial for this upcoming trip. We went to our usual beach house with my parents for the week last week, and because we had so much shit to bring for the kids, Mike and I took 2 cars. He took Jack, I took Sadie. We packed the cars, timed it so she was fed and drowsy and then snapped her in the carseat and I put her in the car and took off. That was a 1 hr 15 min drive, and she fussed when we got into about 10 minutes of traffic but I was able to hold her off from full-on screaming by shoving the pacifier repeatedly back in her mouth.

The past 2 days since we made the switch to the Gerber Soothe formula she has definitely been acting better, less screaming fits, so I figured I would take the chance and drive down to CT. Mizzle and I packed the car last night and all I have to put in there today is my bag, bottles and well, the kids.

So I'm waiting for the bulk of traffic to be over (usually around 9:30ish) and then hopefully will be able to shower and then get Sadie in the car after a bottle.

So think of me this afternoon and send me peaceful car vibes, and hope against all hopes that I don't lose my shit.

Yes, they are related.

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Wed, 27 Aug 2014 12:00:00 +0000

So remember yesterday how I was saying how different Sadie & Jack are? Well I thought I'd compile a list of the differences, just for shits & giggles.

Jack liked Playtex Drop-In bottles, Sadie likes Avent
Jack liked Mam pacifiers, Sadie likes Soothies or Tommee Tippee
Jack didn't like the Aden & Anais swaddles and would bust out of them on the regular. Sadie loves them and prefers to nap in them.
Jack loved the bouncer and would sit contently in it. Sadie will sleep in it, only if you put her down in it fast asleep.
Jack loved the car and had no problem with the carseat. Sadie only tolerates the carseat, and only if the car is moving or if you take her seat out and swing it back and forth.
Jack hardly ever peed on me or the changing table. Sadie does it at last once/day.
Jack would never nap in a carrier, and Sadie will sleep for 3-4 hours in the K'Tan (granted, I only had the Moby with Jack and I could never get the wrap right, so that probably had something to do with it)
Jack's hair was light and Sadie's is more reddish/chestnut
Jack was (and is) our big dude, topping the charts at the 95%ile for most of his life. Sadie is our peanut, with weight and height being 70th% and 90th% respectively.

So there you have it. My 2 completely different kids. I mean I didn't really expect them to be the same, but its just kinda interesting to see it all laid out there.

State of Affairs

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Tue, 26 Aug 2014 18:55:00 +0000

So a lot has changed in the past 2 weeks around here. As you saw in my previous post, we stopped breastfeeding, and are now in the midst of finding the right formula. Miss Thang is a gassy, gassy lady!

Jack had been on Similac Sensitive, so we thought we would go with that. Things seemed to be...well...just OK. So I thought I would try the Target brand because well, formula is frigging expensive. That did not go well. I know other people have raved about it, and nutritionally its identical to the name brand formula, but I found that I couldn't get it to dissolve very well in the water, and it left a residue on the bottle. So if its leaving a residue on the bottle, it has to be doing that inside Sadie's little colon. Hence maybe why she was getting constipated? Girl would freak the F out if she didn't poop on the daily, so we had to figure out something that worked.

So when I was spending hour after hour rocking and bouncing the other day, I decided to research formulas. I'm not going to go into a ton of detail because I don't feel like typing it all out, but I got a lot of really great information from this blog series. After reading that, I decided that we would try Gerber Soothe.

I made the first round of bottles with it last night and it was like the heavens opened up. You know how when you shake a bottle of water how bubbles form and almost instantly disappear? Well that was what happened with the Soothe when I mixed it. Before with the Similac and the Target Sensitive, there would be a 1/4 inch thick layer of foam, no matter how fast or slow I whisked or stirred. No residue on the inside of the bottle either.

We also decided that since Sadie seemed to have regular poops when she was breastfed that we would do a sort of "reverse supplementing". Since deciding to stop BFing, I've been pumping 2-3 times per day and freezing the milk. I've amassed quite the stockpile (like I said before, supply is not an issue for me). So we are adding in a few ounces of breastmilk every day to keep Sadie's pipes a-flowin'.

We are slowly starting to figure her out...though she is still a difficult baby to soothe and to keep content. I've learned (usually the hard way) that usually when something works for Jack, its not going to work for Sadie. I have to keep reminding myself that Jack was a very flexible baby, and Sadie is just not. In fact...I think I'll write a post on how completely different they are! Check back tomorrow ;)

p.s. I realize this post is a ramble. But I'm just getting back on the blogging horse and it's gonna be a little verbal diarrhea around here for a while.

{Review}: Printcopia

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 13:03:00 +0000

Printcopia, the new way to turn your photos and snapshots into works of art!

See that little cornucopia in their logo? It's there for a reason. The definition of cornucopia is "an abundant supply of good things of a specified kind". Kinda perfect for a website that has numerous ways for you to take your personal photo memories and turn them into actual works of art.

I'm not just talking about printing a photo in enlarged size and slapping it into a frame, I'm talking about transforming your photos into art quality canvases, acrylic prints, framed prints and panoramic prints. Or maybe you do want to just get an enlarged print - well you can do that in pretty much any size you want, ranging from 8x10 to 30x40 poster size!

Printcopia makes it easy to bring your photos to life on canvas. I was given the opportunity to create a canvas for Sadie's nursery, just so I could see how easy it really is. We chose the 16x20 canvas - the perfect size for a focal wall hanging. I wanted something that would complement our mermaid & starfish theme, so I chose to design a graphic that would be transformed into a canvas, as opposed to a traditional photograph.

The widget allows you to upload a photo from your computer as well as pulling from popular social media sites like Facebook & Instagram.

Not sure if your picture is formatted correctly for printing at that size? No worries. Printcopia will tell you your image quality based on your image and the size canvas that you selected.

Since canvases are a 3D representation of a photo or graphic image, you have to figure in the sides of the canvas. Printcopia offers 3 great options: Mirror, Image Wrap or Border Color. I chose the mirror image, because I think it offers the most seamless transition with the front.

You can also add a picture hanger to the back, and even request expedited shipping. And pretty soon, before you know it, your custom work of art will be at your doorstep, just waiting to be hung on your wall. Bonus? Printcopia canvases are 100% satisfaction guaranteed. Create without having a worry in your mind!

And here is our finished product:

Do YOU want to make your own custom canvas? Check out Printcopia on their website, or check out their social media links:

Facebook (psst! For a limited time, get free shipping if you Like them on Facebook!)

Twitter

Disclaimer: I was provided the canvas in exchange for this review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

The latest episode in the Mommy Guilt Saga

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Mon, 11 Aug 2014 12:46:00 +0000

So you all know by my last post that I made the decision to breastfeed Sadie, for financial reasons. Having an unpaid maternity leave when you are the primary breadwinner in your family forces you to make some deep financial decisions in order to keep your roof over your head.

I never really had anything against BFing per se, but I always thought it wasn't for me. I didn't even give it a second thought with Jack, he was going to be formula fed and that was it. I didn't think I would have the emotional stability or stamina to go through all the difficulties of establishing a good BFing relationship like I had read about. I saw the struggles my friends and family went through trying to BF their children, and I never thought I could handle it, so I never entertained the thought of trying.

But when you are faced with the thought of possibly losing your house because of inability to pay your mortgage during your maternity leave, you do what you have to.

And deep down, I know there was some little part of me that just wanted to try. Just to see if I could do it. A challenge of sorts.

So I rallied my troops. I borrowed books from BFF T, I had a bunch of long heart to hearts with all my BFFs trying to get over my hang-ups regarding BFing. Mizzle was on board, he told me he would support whatever decision I made and follow my lead. And the ability to get a breast pump for free courtesy of ObamaCare? Well that was pretty awesome too.

I made sure every nurse and LC in the hospital knew that although this was my second child, this was my first time BFing, and I had NO IDEA what I was doing. After Sadie was born, because of the meds I'm on and the fact that the cord was wrapped, she was taken to the level 2 nursery before I really got to hold her. After about 45 minutes, she came back and the nurse said "she's looking for something to suckle!" First of all, I absolutely HATE the word suckle. Gross. Gives me the heebie jeebies. Not exactly the feeling you want when you first start, right? Well she just latched Sadie on and was like see ya later and left. Um, how long do I leave her on? Do I burp her? When do I switch sides? Do I wake her up if she falls asleep?

The LCs in the hospital were pretty helpful, but I never really felt super confident about anything before I left the hospital. Admittedly, its not like I took a BFing class or anything, that was my choice. I don't really dig the group learning thing, never have, never will. When we got home we tried to feed her every 2-3 hours, but sometimes she would sleep for a 6 hour stretch and was literally impossible to wake up. My milk didn't fully come in until day 6, so that was a little on the long side as well. We did supplement with formula from the beginning (thank you samples!) so she was being fed and we didn't have a screaming starving baby which was nice.

But she was a pain in the ass to nurse. She would pop off every minute or so, she was arching her back, she was difficult to burp. And then the projectile vomiting started, which was what brought us to the reflux diagnosis and got us an rx for Zantac. I thought maybe she would do better with bottles, so I began pumping and giving her bottles of breastmilk. I was pumping about 6 times a day, and getting a total of 2 oz at each pump, so I had enough to feed her. But I was paranoid about missing a pump. I knew that she was more efficient than the machine and my supply depended on close contact with her.

When she was around 3 weeks old I went to see an LC recommended by my pediatrician, and also the same LC that BFF T had seen. The LC was amazing. My favorite thing? She said "eating is business, you put that baby to breast and feed her and if she falls asleep or is using you as a pacifier, you unlatch her and put her down. She needs to learn to eat and be done". I liked that she didn't expect me to nurse this child for hours on end. She taught me switch nursing, perfected the hold and her latch and just gave me some general tips. We did a weighted feed, and I found that even though Sadie wasn't nursing for the textbook 15-20 minutes a side, she was getting enough milk. She's just a fast nurser and I have a good supply. Winning!

But the screaming continued. She was a fussy baby. There would be days where she would scream for 3 hours straight, completely inconsolable. It was better when we started Zantac, but she was literally impossible to settle down after nursing. It didn't matter if she was fed with a bottle, or if I nursed her. We tried supplementing with Similac for Supplementation, and also a short trial of soy formula (DISASTER). I had always heard of babies falling asleep while nursing, or the classic "milk drunk" photos that you see all over IG & FB. I have one of those photos. It was the day my milk came in, and it never happened again. She was impossible to settle down after nursing. Mike and I spent hours bouncing on an exercise ball, or putting her swaddled in the swing at top speed. We slept in shifts in the rocking chair in her room, holding her upright. She would be so mad/uncomfortable/distressed when she was crying that she would scratch her face, and no matter how often I clipped her nails, she still scratched herself.

People always ask, "how is the baby? Is she a good baby?" I wanted so badly to reply "no, she's miserable. She cries all the time and never seems comfortable or content" I knew some of this was the reflux, but I knew there was something else and I had no idea what it was. My diet doesn't include a lot of dairy, I do have about 2 cups of coffee every day, we do eat pasta with red sauce and I'll have salsa occasionally. I knew that if elimination diet was on the horizon, that I would be done.

I had a follow-up with the LC this past Thursday and it was great. She did another weighted feed, Sadie was getting plenty of milk and my supply had increased. We made a plan for how I could build a freezer stash for going back to work. I left feeling confident and like "I got this".

Friday she had a great day. I thought I was finally getting her down to a routine, and figuring out her cues. She was fussy as hell that evening, but that's her usual (yup, we have a little colic going on too). She slept great that night, woke up Saturday morning around 9 and all hell broke loose. I fed her, and then she started screaming. She cried literally until 11:15 when my ILs came to pick up Jack to bring him out for the day. She took a 30-40 minute break so I could take a shower, but then she woke up. And she started screaming again. I tried to feed her, she wouldn't have it.

I brought her in the bathroom with me, turned the fan and shower on and looked at the window. I thought about bashing my head through it. Literally. But I didn't. Instead, I leaned my head against the cold tile wall, clamped my hands over my ears and screamed as loud as I possibly could. I knelt down on the floor with my face against the floor and sobbed for like 10 minutes. I cried so hard that I broke blood vessels under my eyes. She stopped crying for some reason, maybe I scared the crap out of her, I don't know. I knew she was hungry, it had been about 2.5 hours since she actually ate, so I said to myself, fuck it.

I went downstairs, got a sample can of Similac Sensitive (what Jack was on) and mixed up a bottle. She sucked it down and passed out for 3 hours.

That was my end point. I knew there was something about BFing that wasn't working for her, that was making her miserable and uncomfortable. In my scientific mind, I thought if I could eliminate the variable of breastmilk and replace it with the the constant of formula, then at least I could better figure out what was making her so uncomfortable.

We continued the switch for the past 2 days, and she has been so much better. Yes she is still fussy and evenings still suck, but now she falls asleep after eating, burps easier and just seems less uncomfortable. And I'm not sobbing on the bathroom floor or thinking about bashing my head through a window.

I feel ironically free, like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. But at the same time, I feel guilty for not trying. For not doing the elimination diet. When I had thought about BFing while pregnant, I always thought that the reason that I would end up quitting would be because I was in too much pain or I wouldn't have enough supply. I never planned for BFing not working for Sadie, I always thought it would be a problem with me. But it wasn't. I didn't have any pain, I had a great supply.

But now that she is on formula, she is a happier baby. And I need to keep telling myself that is what matters, its not about me wanting to continue nursing that is important, its about what is making Sadie more comfortable. And I wish I didn't have to quit. I like the fact that my body is actually cooperating for once and doing something its supposed to. It's empowering to think that you can nourish your child solely from yourself and nothing else.

So I'm dealing with the guilt of quitting, the guilt of feeling like I'm wussing out on the elimination diet.

Naturally I've spent a lot of time hashing this out and rationalizing it with Mizzle, my mom & sister Kellie, and BFF T. My mom corrected me when I said that I was quitting - she said

"Shan, you aren't quitting, I've never known you to quit anything in your life. It's not quitting - you are just making a different choice"

And then of course BFF T, the one who BF'd her child the longest out of all of our friends, the one who made it look so easy, said to me:

"Dude you overcame all those hangups and fears to do this, and you did it! It's pretty f*cking awesome that you tried, you should be proud of yourself!"

So I did it. 4 weeks, 6 days of breastfeeding. At least I can say that I tried, and at least I can be confident knowing that the reason I stopped was to benefit my child. And really, that's what being a mother is all about - doing what is best for your child.

1 Month!

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Thu, 07 Aug 2014 00:50:00 +0000

It's been a month? Really?

Weight: 8 lbs 14 oz (50th %ile)
Length: 21.25" (70th %ile)

Eats: Well, never thought I'd be writing this, but Sadie is breastfed. Yup, she is. My reason? MONEY. Formula is expensive. My maternity leave is unpaid. Enough said. We are supplementing with formula here and there, and I have no doubt my supply will tank when I go back to work in October, but for now, we are enjoying the cheap eats. She eats about every 3 hours, and she is an impatient little thing! And one little piece of wisdom - shallots & garlic do not make for a happy baby the following day...

Sleeps: Once she is asleep, she is asleep. Girl sleeps heavy and hard, but getting here there is another story. She hates being put to bed, and will only fall asleep in your arms being bounced/rocked/swayed and then put down. She can go 5-6 hour stretches, and usually wakes up between 2-4 am to eat, then back down again until about 6 am when she is up for the day. Initially she was only sleeping in her bouncer or Rock N Play (RNP) until we got her reflux somewhat under control with Zantac (more on that later), but for the last 2 nights she has been able to sleep in her bassinet (with a towel under the mattress to prop it up a little bit. And another exciting sleep thing? So far, she sleeps through vacuuming. At first I was like OMG she's going to wake up with the vacuum and then when I realized she slept through it, I was like DUH, she's been listening to me vacuum like a crazy person every day when she was on the inside!

Likes: Being held. She is perfectly content to be in your arms bounced around all the live long day. She also is a huge fan of this little cow plush rattle that we have, she loves to stare at it when she is on her play mat.

Dislikes: Being in her carseat when the car is not moving or the seat is not being swung back and forth. If it's not moving, get her the hell out.

Milestones: Not too much to report on this front, she is just getting used to life on the outside I guess :) Her umbilical cord stump fell off right on schedule at about 10 days, despite the fact that it got superficially infected and smelled so.damn.bad. I felt awful for her, she was my sweet week old baby girl and she smelled like rotting flesh :( poor thing. She had her first bath that day and she didn't really like it at all, but now she is starting to like baths. She had her first shot at the pediatrician's office today (the 2nd Hep B vax). Not really a milestone, but she has been on Zantac now for 8 days. For about 2 weeks she was absolutely miserable all the time. Lots and lots of crying, screaming, arching her back, squirming and kicking her legs. No amount of gripe water or Mylicon was helping. Then she started with the projectile vomiting. And then when you laid her down on her playmat or in the bassinet (even after waiting 30 minutes after eating), she would scream bloody murder for hours. I knew something was up, I mean I know she's a picky/fussy baby, but this was not right. She never seemed to calm down. Finally, after 4 pediatrician appointments, we finally got an rx for Zantac. Within about 4-5 days, she was definitely improved. She is puking less, we can lay her down almost flat, and she has decreased her fussy/screaming time to about 4 hours in the evening leading up to bedtime. So, moral of that story is that Mommy is always right.

Little Chicken,
I have no idea why I call you that, but it just fits. You are my fuzzy little chicken. It's been a bit of a crazy month, and I know we are still just trying to get to know each other. I must say, I love that you recognize our voices and you calm down and start looking around for us when we talk to you. I can tell that you are going to be a very social little girl.
Oh, you and your hands...you are always putting your hands up in front of your face, and when you get really mad and start crying hard, you usually end up scratching your face. I think you want to suck on your fingers or your thumb, but you haven't quite mastered that yet.
You love your big bro, and you are so awesome at tolerating his smothering hugs and kisses. He loves to give you toys and make sure that you have your pacifier or that we know you are hungry. I think you guys are going to get along great and have so much fun playing together.
My favorite thing so far is to snuggle you when you are sleeping. The times that you are awake have been so tumultuous over the past few weeks, that the few times that you are asleep content in my arms I just like to kiss your cheeks and nuzzle your soft skin.
Sadie Sadie Pretty Lady...it's been so fun getting to know you and I'm already looking forward to the future and how much joy you will continue to bring to our lives.
I love you my baby girl,
Mommy

Big Brother Jack wanted in on the picture taking action :)

Girl: A Birth Story

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Mon, 04 Aug 2014 13:10:00 +0000

"And though she be but little, she is fierce."

-Helena

A Midsummer Night's Dream, William Shakespeare

The date had been set for quite some time...July 5, 2014. The day that we were to start on the journey to meeting our baby girl. All plans were set in place to make sure that Big Brother Jack was taken care of: Auntie Kellie was coming up the day before, and Auntie T, Gramma & Doodz were coming on the 5th. Mike was going to be off of work for about 4 days. It was all perfectly planned. Bags were packed. Lists were made. Coming home outfit was washed and carefully folded, then placed in the painstakingly packed diaper bag. We were ready.

Because I was to be induced because of my blood pressure (chronic hypertension, no signs of preeclampsia or IUGR for Girl), we were told to expect a call from L&D that morning between 6am-10am to tell us when to come to the hospital. Of course, I couldn't sleep all night. I was sobbing the night before because it was my last time putting Jack to bed as my only baby, so emotions were running high. Cell phones and fully charged house phones on our nightstands were silent, until about 9:30 AM, when L&D called.

Hurricane Arthur was coming up the eastern seaboard, and we were amidst rain and fluctuating barometric pressures, which I figured was going to break every woman's water within spitting distance of Mount Auburn. Well, I was right. L&D was full. The nurse said they would call back at noon and give me an update. I couldn't sit still. I was so anxious. Kellie and Mike were doing their best to keep me sane, but if anyone knows me, I need a plan. I don't do waiting and maybe.

So they called at noon, and said that they were still full, but that I was to come in for monitoring (NST and BPP) and we could "talk logistics" when I got there. I was pissed. I wanted this to happen today. It was all planned out. This was the day things were supposed to happen, can't something just go my way for once?

So we packed up, I had the foresight to bring our bags just in case. Jack was going outside in the backyard to play in his pool. I picked him up and squeezed him, gave him a bunch of kisses on the cheek. That was the last time I would pick up my sweet boy as my only child. My Baby Nugget.

We got to L&D around 1pm and were put into a triage room, I was strapped onto the monitor. My BP was the usual 140s/80s-90s. Girl looked awesome on the NST. I was having a few very tiny contractions. My nurse, Lisa (who was the nurse that I was with as a student on L&D and I saw my first birth with her), said they had one woman pushing, and 2 other ladies at 6 and 7 cm, so that was the possibility of 3 beds opening up. While we were on the NST and she was trying to book the ultrasound we heard 2 babies being born. I had a feeling that we were going to be able to stay. The doc on call, Dr. Hotchkiss, came in to check me and I was 3 cm and 100% effaced, a little bit of a change from when my doc checked me that Monday. The charge nurse came in and said that they had a bed available.

We were moved into room 6 (my favorite number!) and Lisa was still my nurse. Dr. Hotchkiss, Mike and I made the decision to start with breaking my water. That was at 3:30. Then, we were set off to go walking around to see if things would start on their own. I felt a few little contractions, but nothing major. At 5:30 we started Pitocin. Every 30 minutes, the nurse would increase the dose by 2. At 7 pm shift change, my nurse was Deirdre, who used to work at the hospital I now work at. Of course the World Cup was on, so we watched one of the semi-final games. Then, we watched a movie on Netflix. Around 8pm-ish, the contractions started to pick up in intensity. I was able to get through them just by closing my eyes, breathing and trying to imagine it washing away. At one point I remember Mike saying to me that he didn't even know I was having a contraction unless he was looking at me.

I knew with this delivery that I wanted to experience labor. For some reason, I wanted to feel some of the pain, I wanted to know what that was all about, since I didn't really feel much with Jack. Dr. Hotchkiss checked me again around 9:30ish and I was only 4-5 cm. I couldn't believe that was all, but the nurse and doc said that was great progress, and considering that I had a lot of bloody show, they thought I was about to progress to the active phase of labor. So we made the decision before things got bad that I would get the epidural. I wanted to feel pain, but I'm no masochist, let's be realistic. So I got up to use the bathroom, I made Mike come with me because I wasn't sure how I would do in there by myself with these really painful contractions. They were at the point where I couldn't talk through them and it was hard to breathe and focus. When I got in the bathroom I had a huge one and had to grab onto the wall and thank God he was there, because I could barely stand up it hurt so bad.

The anesthesiologist set everything up, Mike was kicked to the waiting room and I got that needle shoved in my back. It took a few tries which sucked because I had a few contractions during the whole thing, and being hunched over unable to move while having a contraction is pretty awful. Once it was in, Deirdre said she was going to put my catheter in and asked if I wanted her to get Mike at this point. I was like, um no, let's wait till after the catheter. Dude might pass out, and well, just no.

Once the epi was in it definitely took moreso on my left side and I couldn't even lift that leg or turn over on my own. The contraction monitor kept losing track of the contractions and Girl was moving around in there so they kept losing her on the monitor. Dr. Hotchkiss had come in and said that she had to assist the other MD on that night in a c-section, but that the midwife was around and knew all about me and would step in if need be. At one point Deirdre came in and said they saw a few decels on the monitor, so she flipped me onto my other side. About every 10-20 minutes or so for the next hour, she would come in and adjust things because they weren't picking up on the monitor. I was exhausted and was almost falling asleep...but then around 11:45 or so I felt a lot of pressure. I had been feeling pressure, but it would come and go so I figured it was the contractions. Well at this point it wasn't stopping. So I nudge Mike and wake him up and tell him. He asks if I want a pillow or something (he was half asleep), and I told him "I think you should get the nurse, I think this is it". Bang, he shot out of that chair like a cannon.

So Deirdre brought in Elsa the midwife, who checked me and said that I was 10 cm and Girl was right there ready to come out. I was feeling so much pressure at this point, and was kind of freaking out a little bit because my body was almost taking over and pushing without me being able to really control it. Elsa was so sweet and had the most calming demeanor, she was just lovely. Dr. Hotchkiss came in just as I was about to start pushing and Elsa offered for her to "catch" the baby, since apparently they thought that this was going to be a quick, easy delivery since I'm a 2nd time mom. All this was happening around midnight, and they didn't think it was going to be much longer.

At this point I had the realization that the epidural was not working for the southernmost parts, if you know what I mean. My back and stomach felt great, but everything else felt like it was on fire and ripping to pieces. At one point the anesthesiologist actually poked his head in and asked how the epi was working, to which Deirdre curtly replied "she's pushing. Thanks". So I was pushing. I would feel the contraction start up and without me even controlling it, my breathing would get all heavy and then my body just took over. It was kind of surreal. I couldn't even open my eyes, I was trying so hard to focus. I just remember thinking how bad this was hurting and if I was going to be able to actually do this.

Since I had my eyes closed I didn't see this, but Mike said there was a rather touchy moment. I remember Dr. Hotchkiss telling me not to push, that there was "a cord", which meant that the cord was wrapped up somehow. Well, it was actually wrapped around her neck, around her chest and back under her arm. So every time I pushed, she would crown and almost come out, but then was tethered by her cord and got sucked back in. So after they removed the cord twice, she came flying out. I pushed for a total of about 20 minutes.

On July 6, 2014 at 12:29 AM, an 8 lb, 0.3 oz, 20 3/4" Sadie Katherine was placed on my stomach and she immediately looked up at me. My sweet baby girl that we had waited so long for - she was finally here.

Life would never be the same.

Because of my medication and blood pressure, the pediatrician was at the bedside and she was only on my stomach for a few seconds before she was whisked away to the warmer. She immediately started to cry, which was such an awesome sound. Her eyes were wide open, she was looking around, and kicking those legs like crazy - just like when she was inside.

After they gave her some oxygen and checked her out, I got to hold her for a few minutes before they took her to the special care nursery. She was only there for about 45 minutes before they brought her back to us, because she was doing so awesome. Her forehead was bruised from being wrapped and tethered, so my poor little girl had a sticker on her bassinet that said "I have a bruise on my face" so that no one thought anything was acutely wrong.

After about an hour in L&D, a room was ready for us on the post-partum wing, so we were wheeled over there. We had a nice quiet room at the end of the hallway with a view of Boston & the Charles River. I held my little girl in my arms while Mike snoozed away and we watched the sun rise. I remember thinking how perfect everything was. I got the birth experience that I wanted. I have a full term healthy baby in my arms. My handsome husband is sleeping at my side. My amazing son was home sleeping in his bed surrounded by my loving family. It really doesn't get better than that.

Later on that day my family brought Jack to meet his baby sister...and what an amazing moment that was. That moment was one of those moments you've waited your whole life for, when the world stops around you and you are only focused on one thing. Seeing my son meet my daughter for the first time...words are difficult to describe it. So that my friends, is a post for another day. Plus, I need another box of tissues before I write that post...

Our days in the hospital were pretty uneventful, a much different experience than the one we had with Jack. Sadie passed her hearing test on the 2nd try (first time her left ear failed because she was all full of fluid. The tech said when the delivery is so fast not all the fluid gets squished out of the ears), we didn't have to worry about a car seat test, and she passed her congenital heart defect screening test. Her bilirubin screening was normal too, which was a relief for me because I was worried all that bruising was going to make her bili go up and we were going to have another day in the hospital and be under the lights.

The day we went home Mike came after dropping Jack off at daycare and picked up me and Sadie. Mike had picked out her going-home outfit, so I thought it would be appropriate that he get her dressed. It made my heart swell, seeing my big strong husband dress his dainty little girl in a dress. We tucked her in her carseat, stopped in the hallway to say thank you and snap a quick family pic and we were on our way home. Hard to believe it was all over, so fast.

Sadie Sadie Pretty Lady,
My sweet baby girl...I'm so happy that you are finally with us. I knew from the moment I felt you kicking in my belly that you were going to be someone special. I knew you would have a spunk about you and have an energy that we will likely spend our lives trying to catch up with. It's hard to say that you are everything that I ever dreamed you would be, because you are so much more than that. I feel like I've known you my whole life, but yet this is still our first time meeting.
Sadie we are so excited to watch you grow and blossom into the wonderful person we know you will be. Until then, we are going to snuggle you and love you like none other. Your brother will show you the ways of the world, and we will be there to guide you both. We already love you so much little chicken...so so much.
Love,
Mommy & Daddy

The night before your life changes forever

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Sat, 05 Jul 2014 00:00:00 +0000

Dear Jack,

Tomorrow, your life is going to change forever. Tomorrow, Mommy is going to have a baby - your baby sister. Up until this point, you have been the center of our lives, our only child. I know that since you are almost 4, you will still have some of these memories when you are older, and that makes me happy. I know that I remember the times I spent with my Mommy & Daddy before Auntie Kellie was born, so I'm glad you'll have those memories too.

I'm pretty sure that every Mommy worries about what her first baby will think when she brings home the 2nd baby. I worry that you will think that you will think I don't love you anymore. I worry that you will think I'm ignoring you when I'm wrapped up taking care of a fussy baby. I worry that you think you won't have any special one-on-one time with Mommy & Daddy anymore.

But I also know that by giving you a sibling, we are giving you one of the greatest gifts we ever could. A sibling means that you have a lifelong partner. Someone who is always there for you, whether it be to give you support through a difficult time, to steal your stuff while you are away, or to make you laugh when you want to cry. Siblings are there for sharing toys, or for stealing toys when you're not looking. Either way, siblings make life more colorful, and I'm beyond happy that this is something you will experience.

I want you to know that even though there is a new baby in the house, that you will ALWAYS be my first baby. No matter how old you are (yes, even when you are 40 and rolling your eyes at me), you will still be my baby. You will still be that baby who giggled like crazy when we would make funny faces and silly noises at you. You will still be that baby who rolled around on the floor to get to toys like a fuzzy little ball. That little baby who loved Cars and Backyardigans. And even still, that little baby who grew into a tenacious toddler - strong willed and independent.

I want you to know that even though your sister will always be in the picture, there will still be plenty of opportunities for you to have special time with Mommy & Daddy just you and us. I've been told that having multiple children makes your heart expand in ways you never thought possible, and I know that will happen. My heart and my love for you will only grow bigger when your sister is around. You will always be my little Noogle, my silly goose and my buddy.

I know that you are going to be a fantastic big brother. Even though you race around like a superhero and jump around like a monkey after 4 cups of coffee, I know that you have a gentle heart and a loving soul. I know that you will protect her, show her the ways of the world, and probably sometimes annoy her like crazy. But that is what's fun about having a sibling :)

So even though tomorrow is going to rock your little world, I want you to know that even though many things are going to be different, a lot will still be the same. Such as the fact that I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone, and you will always be the little boy who made me a mommy.

I love you so much my little Nugget...

Love,
Mommy

Sometimes I surprise myself with a good idea

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Wed, 02 Jul 2014 14:39:00 +0000

Lately drop-offs at daycare have not been going well. I think its a multifactorial cause: its loud and sensory overload for him, I've been home more and thus he has gotten more time with me, and he knows that something is coming (though I don't think he really gets that it is a baby).

Usually we open the door to his class and he hides behind me with his arm across his face, plastered to my butt and the back of my legs for a good 15 minutes, before I have to peel him off and hand him over to the teachers. The teachers are really good about having the kids give Jack some space when he is walking into the classroom, because if they all come up to him to say hi, he gets super overwhelmed. But there really isn't much they can do about the sheer noise level in the classroom, I mean the kids aren't running around screaming like banshees, but you've got 18 preschoolers all yapping away at once, plus 2 teachers, and it gets kinda loud. And my "kinda loud" is like standing in front of a concert speaker for Jack.

A few weeks ago we were at Toys R Us and I bought Jack a stuffed giraffe. I have a habit whenever I am out and I see one that he doesn't have, I buy it for him. I'm a total sucker. So I had this giraffe waiting for him, waiting for the right moment. Today was the last day I would drop him off at daycare myself without a baby in tow, so I wanted to make sure that it wasn't traumatic for either of us.

Enter the giraffe:

Jack is really into superheros and superhero powers lately, so I used that to my advantage. I handed him the giraffe and told him that this was Barry the Brave Giraffe. I said that I filled him up with brave superhero powers, so that when Jack wasn't feeling brave at school, he could hold Barry up in front of his face and he would protect him.

We've known for a while that SPD kids tend to like to have a "transition item" with them when they are moving from situation to situation and place to place. Jack has always done better with a little toy in his hand when he is going places, but we had stopped doing that in preschool because there was a "no toys from home" rule. Well, I decided to screw that rule, because this giraffe will help him get through his day. (Plus, I labeled it, so its not like its going to get lost in the shuffle)

When I dropped him off today all the kids were on the playground, which definitely made things a little easier, but he still was hiding behind me. I introduced Barry to Jack's teachers and told them about his superpowers. Lo and behold, Jack started walking out from behind me with Barry in front of his face, and was peeking out around to watch his friends play. He did try to cling to me for a few minutes, but then I asked him if Barry needed to be "filled up" with more powers, and he nodded his head. I squeezed Barry 5 times and each time said "Superhero 1, Superhero 2, etc etc" so that he was nice and filled up. I then went inside to drop of his backpack and lunch, came back out not even 2 minutes later and he was in the sandbox with his friends like he had been there all day. MUCH BETTER.

So if you notice your child is having trouble at drop-off, or transitioning to a new class or activity, or even just having trouble leaving you when you bring him to Grandma's, try finding a stuffed animal or special toy that you can impart "superhero powers" to so that it can help your child "be brave" in situations where they might not feel very comfortable.

And for the record...Jack promptly renamed Barry "Green Lantern" because that was obviously more superhero appropriate ;)

Still here, still pregnant!

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Tue, 01 Jul 2014 14:33:00 +0000

Today I'm 37w4d! Crazy!

For the past week I've really felt like she's coming, but I think she's got her own plan. I think I am on track for my induction date of July 5, and not a day sooner. July 5 would be cool too, because that's my maternal grandfather's birthday. I know he's tickled about this, and it would be something for her to be proud of someday :)

I honestly don't know how I would have made it working this far if I had decided too. Summer pregnancy is one of the hardest things. No matter how cool we keep the house, I'm still sweating like a beast. I feel like an ice cream cone outside in the sun: any more than 5 minutes and I'm dripping everywhere. Although I love having the weather to be able to wear sundresses and tank tops non-stop.

I discovered yesterday that my linea nigra is out in full force. I don't think I noticed it until post-partum with Jack, and even then it was pretty dark and lasted for a good 6 months. This time, since I'm noticing it now, does that mean its going to look like a Sharpie line for the next 6 months? Who knows.

The baby's room is all ready, diaper bag is packed, hospital bag is mostly packed. My sisters are coming up July 4th and will stay the weekend to help take care of Jack since Mike will be with me at the hospital for most of the weekend. I know he senses something is coming, because he's been extra lovey and clingy. I want to try and keep his life as normal as possible this weekend, so having him stay in his own house and sleep in his bed is important to me.

So for now, I'll just keep my ass on this couch like I have been for the past 3 weeks and hope I can make it to July 5!

The Internet can be a very small place sometimes...

noreply@blogger.com (SSG) — Fri, 27 Jun 2014 17:25:00 +0000

Way back in 2009 when Mike and I were trying to get pregnant, I stumbled across a site called The Bump. This was my first introduction to the world of social media and internet friends. Long story short, some of the people that I "talk" to on a daily basis I met through that website, and it has opened up a whole new world of doors leading to amazing people around the world.

About 2 years ago (I think?) I remember being e-introduced to a set of best friends, Deanna & Deanna, both of whom had 2 little boys, and who went by the nicknames Ketchup & Bacon, because those were their favorite foods. I met them on Twitter, and we would tweet back and forth. We follow each other on Instagram, Mizzle shares his love of Ketchup with Deanna Ketchup.

These ladies have the innate ability to cheer up anyone's day, even if they are thousands of miles away from you. They've always made me laugh, and their sweet boys would probably be BFFs with Jack if they were closer.

A few months ago we were delighted to learn that Deanna Bacon was pregnant (surprise!) with their 3rd little, which they found out was another boy! I was so excited for her, what an awesome surprise and 3 little boys - how fun to watch brothers grow up together.

Deanna had some pregnancy complications and was in and out of the hospital. She was hospitalized around 23-24 weeks, and unfortunately delivered her baby boy at 25 weeks. Kallan Jay "Bacon" was born June 13, 2014, and passed away a very short 8 hours later in his beautiful mama's arms.

Of course, as best friends do, Deanna Ketchup took a road trip to be by her bestie's side, and 2 days later when Deanna Bacon was discharged from the hospital, the Bacons drove through the night with Deanna Ketchup to her house, where they are all going to spend a few weeks together.

I can't imagine being in her place. I can't imagine the pain, the hurt, the anger, the frustration. All I know is that I am glad that she has such a loving family and wonderful best friend, and an internet family from afar that is supporting her like crazy.

One of my other good internet friends, Sarah from Nurse Loves Farmer, set up a memorial fund so that Deanna Bacon and her hubs could get memorial jewelry made of Kallan's ashes, so they could always have something close to their hearts to remember him by.

I'm asking from one mama to another, please considering donating any amount (even $1!!) to help the Bacon's keep Kallan's memory alive.

Let's all remember if even for one day, that we are all connected in some small way, Deanna Bacon you are not alone...