Bad Ass Frank

Stop and Smell The Flowers

badassfrank@gmail.com (Bad Ass Frank) — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 05:04:27 +0000

And by “flowers” I mean “19 year old chicks”. People keep giving me shit about dating younger women. (When I typed the word “women” I started laughing hysterically.) I think they’ve got the wrong idea though. It’s not as if I’m really just dating nineteen year old girls. The ladies I’ve dated that last few years have [...]

I Have To Poop

badassfrank@gmail.com (Bad Ass Frank) — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 17:41:15 +0000

Seriously, I have a lot of shit going on. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks. I’m working on my upcoming book, Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy, and trying to knock out some pages every day. But between life getting in the way (translation: trying to pay bills), and the occasional writer’s block, it’s a tough road. Some [...]

The World Famous BK Blaster

badassfrank@gmail.com (Bad Ass Frank) — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 21:22:32 +0000

This story is not for the faint of heart (or stomach) so be forewarned. It’s gonna get uglier than Rumsfeld and Bin Laden having gay sex in a vat of mayo. I take you back to 1989 when yes, I was a wee lad of 19. (I’m old motherfuckers, I KNOW that. No need to point [...]

I Fucked The Internet 7 – Easy Street

badassfrank@gmail.com (Bad Ass Frank) — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 15:47:27 +0000

I met this girl on Match.com, if I recall correctly. She was a twenty-six year old graphic designer who lived somewhere in West LA, which was very convenient as it meant she wouldn’t have to drive far to deliver herself to me. Her profile pictures showed a cute, thin, blonde who looked a bit conservative, [...]

Big Base-Ballers

badassfrank@gmail.com (Bad Ass Frank) — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 01:03:36 +0000

Let me say, first and foremost, that I could give a fuck about any sport that’s not MMA. Seriously, unless you can open up somebody’s scalp with an elbow, unleashing a geyser of blood, crush their nose with a knee to the face, then choke them unconscious, your sport is lame, gay, and for pussies. Now, [...]

Six Showers Away From A Hug

badassfrank@gmail.com (Bad Ass Frank) — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 20:32:29 +0000

This is an excerpt from Chapter 1 of my upcoming book, Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy (click for more info). Chapter 1 – Six Showers Away From A Hug – “Will you come to my bukkake?” asked Hailey. My mind raced in search of a reasonable excuse to say no. I’d much rather stay home and read, or watch a movie, [...]

The Bad Ass Podcast

badassfrank@gmail.com (Bad Ass Frank) — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 18:58:43 +0000

The Bad Ass Podcast features hosts Bad Ass Frank, Jenna, and Producer James, along with a variety of guests, discussing love, sex, and relationships in a brutally honest way that is both intelligent and hilarious. Episode 2 Bad Ass Frank, Jenna Von Co-Host, and Producer James talk about the importance of personality versus looks in dating and [...]

I Did Not Impregnate Bristol Palin…

badassfrank@gmail.com (Bad Ass Frank) — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 18:49:38 +0000

and I know this because she is only seventeen and I check ID’s. (Note to Bristol: Diablo Cody already has the rights to that story. ) However, I think I can safely say that this Palin won’t require me to verify that she’s of legal age: Sarah Palin’s level of hotness has not, to the best of my [...]

Eau du Dog Pee Doesn’t Attract The Bitches

badassfrank@gmail.com (Bad Ass Frank) — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 18:42:15 +0000

Leyna and I, after working on Fox Reality’s SOLITARY 3.0 for ten long weeks, the last two of which were basically 12-15 hour days, took a much needed break from our duties in casting and running The Department of Sexiness, to enjoy some recreational time (Whilst you enjoy my run-on sentence). She took her loveliness to [...]

Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs…

badassfrank@gmail.com (Bad Ass Frank) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 00:12:04 +0000

but I don’t read em. I don’t even look at em. I don’t mean street signs, or no parking signs, or detour signs, or signs alerting me to where the bathroom is located, or the signs that tell me I’m at Bed, Bath, And Beyond, or the Hollywood sign, or signs of life on other planets, [...]