Creativity is bringing something into existence that has yet to arrive; it has never existed before.  This is powerful work. Being creative makes you focussed, motivated and simply happy.  Many of us create something everyday, whether we realize it or not.  

We create lists, essays, and tips through writing.  We create space, movement, and accessibility through de-cluttering.  We create savory smells, layered textures and mouth-watering tastes through new recipes.  Human beings love to create.  It is part of our human make-up.  We were born with a need to fulfill our creative drive.

While some of us are creative daily, many of us really struggle with it.  We especially create a block for creativity to emerge in things we call our “bigger projects” like starting a blog, writing a novel, making a software program or creating a small business.  We limit our potential for happiness when we deprive and neglect our creative drive.  So, how can we jump start our creativity?

It is important first to acknowledge that being creative is a human need that you have.  Once this acknowledgement is made, you have brought awareness to your challenge and it brings you one step closer to overcoming it.  

Thereafter, following these eight simple steps will lead you to fulfilling your creative drive and bring you more in balance.  These eight steps can also help you in any life challenge you might be facing.

1. Make an Intention:  Be sure to have a clear vision of what it is that you want and make the intention in positive, affirming words. “I want to start a small business that will feed my creative drive.”  Try not to use negative or pessimistic words in your intention.  Don’t say, “I want to start a small business that doesn’t fail and that doesn’t go into bankruptcy.” Write the intention down somewhere that you can see it daily in a positive, affirming way.

2. Read with Presence:  Learn everything and anything that you can about your subject.  There are countless books, articles and posts you can find on your subject.  Visit the library, google and wiki it, sift through archives and newspapers.  While you are reading, pay close attention to what your mind seems to focus on or what your eye seems to catch.  There are things in our subject that we like to work on the most – consult your heart while you are reading.  

3.  Seek a Teacher:  After your initial research, seek out an expert in your field that you can talk to whether in person or virtually.  They can be people you know or complete strangers.  There is nothing like expert advice that can shift your motivation.  Experts in their field can talk so passionately about their subject that it leaves you hungrier for more.  They uplift you.

4. Seek Silence: Often the creative drive comes in the quiet moments when you are not even thinking about being creative.  Find more time to be in stillness and in solitude and expect the unexpected to happen.  Many people find ideas and motivation through an activity that clears distractions from the mind.  Be it running, meditating or painting, find time to silence the chattering mind to let the creative soul have a chance at the mic.

5. Pay Attention:  From the previous four steps, by paying close attention to your thought process and so-called “coincidences” new meanings will come into play.  Use the new things you have learned and find meaning from it.  You may need to reorganize your thoughts, discard some ideas or start over.  This is all okay.  Trust what your new meaning is telling you.  It might be entirely different from what you first thought to do, this happens often, but take the new direction because it might lead you to something great.

6. Take Action: Now that you have your mind and heart and soul engaged and energized,  it’s time for your body to take part.  It’s better for your body to take action after the mind, heart and soul are engaged.  This way your body won’t act out of heedlessness or ego, but rather from a renewed sense of positive meaning for your project or idea.  With all of your being working together, take action in your intention (#1).

7. Set Mini-Milestones: This lets you achieve the feeling of success sooner than later.  This feeling then leads to increased feelings of happiness that you want to experience again and again.  Make them simple and doable and then set more.

8.  Let go of Desired Outcomes:  This is the hardest one for it’s easy to dream and while dreaming is good and important, it can often hinder your creativity.  We can get so hung up on what “should” happen that we don’t see what “does” happen in its own right.  It’s better not to expect anything and you will be pleasantly happy with anything that does happen.  And you can avoid a lot of disappointment.  Just keep creating.

9.  Work hard:  A peeled orange does not taste as good as the orange you have to peel yourself.  By peeling it yourself, your effort is in it, letting you enjoy the orange much more than if it is given to you.  You thrive when you overcome something.  It makes you take more risks and seek more ways to be creative.

image credit: moriza

An Invitation

What do you do to fulfill your creative drive?  Did I miss something out?  What creative project are you putting off that you know you would like to do?  Share with us what helps you get creative and keep the motivation going.

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We’ve all heard of Random Acts of Kindness.  Indeed, it makes the world go round.  But, lately, this too-often used phrase has really got me thinking about the word, “Random” and how it is linked to “Acts of Kindness.”  So, I looked it up.  ”Unknown, unimportant, uncertain, unpredictable and lacking any purpose or intention” are some definitions that came up in my search.

Kindness can be done spontaneously in the moment when your heartstrings pull at you, but it would be better if it came with an intention.  It makes one in balance if you do.  And, if things are done randomly, does kindness have any real meaning?   

An intention to be kind allows the person to direct that kindness purposefully, understand where it is coming from (the ego or the heart), and then follow through depending on where the intention came from.  Intentions allow mini-goals to be established in the heart and then the action afterwards can be transforming.  In many traditions, formulating an intention to do something is one half of the reward and if one does not follow through – they are still rewarded for their positive thinking.  And that’s just it.

It is not so much the word “random” that troubles me.  It’s the purpose behind the kindness that matters to me.  Some people can be kind for manipulative reasons (to gain something, to be famous, to be rich, to empower) and still others are kind for the sake of being kind.  See my related post about The Give and Take Principle.

A random act of kindness can just be done with the body.  But, to be truly balanced and bring awareness to each part of you, it requires you to consult the awareness of heart, mind, body and soul.  And formulating an intention before you begin your act engages all four.

Let’s take a common example that happens to me quite frequently:

Walking by people as I stroll by with my baby.  Do I smile or not?

When I go for walks, I encounter two main types of people.  One type of person will look up and smile at people passing by and the other will not acknowledge people as they walk by.  I fall in the first category 85% of the time.  Truthfully, I do have days where I want to be left alone with my thoughts as I stroll and I don’t always look up.  But, on the days where I feel like engaging this is what I think happens.

I see someone far down the street.  They are soon going to pass by me.  What do I feel like doing?  (They are probably wondering the same thing.)  What does my energy feel like?

Heart:  I feel like smiling at this person because I feel happy today and I want them to feel happy too. (The heart feels.)

Mind:  I am going to smile at this person when the person reaches a bit closer to me. (The mind calculates.)

Soul:  I feel like smiling and I am going to smile because the eyes are the gateway inside someone’s vulnerabilities. It’s okay if they don’t look up or if they don’t return the smile.  (The soul transcends.)

Body:  The smile.  (The body acts.)

You might think that this will take too long but it all happens in just a split-second – the heart-mind-body-soul can move really fast.  And, if it does take long for you to figure out if you should or should not do something, pay attention to that hesitation and ask yourself why?  With more acts of kindness that you engage in, the process becomes easier each time.    

So, before you do an act of kindness, take a moment to formulate an intention to engage every part of you.  Bring awareness to your heart and transcend.

Here are 50 (Not So) Random Acts of Kindness:

1. Smile
2. Massage someone’s hand.
3. Fill a parking meter.
4. Pour out water at the dinner table for everyone.
5. Make someone a glass of warm milk before they go to bed.
6. Open a door.
7. Respond to “How are you?” by looking at that person in the eye.
8. Make eye contact when you talk to someone.
9. Hug
10. Share your lunch.  (Bring something that can actually be shared like grapes or carrot sticks.)
11. Place stickie notes around with nice comments around for people to be surprised by when they find it.
12. Make breakfast if you don’t normally do.
13. Make coupons.  ”Evening Night Out While I Take Care of the Kids”
14. Bake and share with your neighbour.
15. Invite your neighbour in for tea or ice-cream.
16. Walk around town and make conversation with the locals.  Visit the same local stores for your things.
17. Remember people’s names when you make conversation with them for next time.
18. Cuddle your child longer than usual.
19. Don’t be the first one to pull away from a handshake or hug or kiss.  (People will notice this one as they try to pull away.  It feels good.)
20. Give a longer gaze than usual to a loved one.
21. Help with groceries by buying them, carrying them in or putting them away.
22. Acknowledge someone’s greetings to you with a better one.
23. Read to a child.
24. Tuck someone in. (Your spouse counts!)
25. Put socks on someone’s feet if they are usually cold.
26. Inquire about someone’s health.  Visit a sick person.
27. Volunteer at a senior’s home (visit your grandparents first if they are still with you.)
28. Volunteer at a school.
29. Volunteer at a youth center and just listen to the kids.
30. Volunteer at a youth center and play sports with them on another day.
31. Volunteer to do something for your family.  (Cut the lawn, tend to the garden, clean up.)
32. Volunteer at a soup kitchen.
33. Feed the hungry by making sandwiches, a hot meal and a hot drink and deliver it right to them.  Stay and chat.
34. Do things before being asked.
35. Hold hands with your mom and dad even if you have your own kids.  They love it.
36. Listen intently when you do listen.
37. Take your time doing anything: eating, talking, listening, working, cleaning, reading, writing etc.
38. Look nice for someone.
39. Let someone go ahead of you while driving or in the grocery lane.
40. Offer your change to someone struggling to find the right amount in front of you.
41. Start up conversations in line-ups.
42. Give to a charity.
43. Walk around with change in your pockets so you can give it to people who ask instead of saying, “I don’t have any.”
44. Drive with non-perishables in your car so you can pass it out to the homeless who walk up to your car.
45. Give away balloons, flowers or lemonade outside your place.  Build community.
46. Say, “Please” and “Thank you” and “I Love You” sincerely.
47. Give sincere compliments.
48. Seek forgiveness from someone you know you might need to.
49. Forgive someone who needs it from you.
50. Do chores in the house you don’t normally do.  Make it a habit.
51. Give positive praise to someone who is getting upset with you.

Kindness to others is only possible if you are kind to yourself first.

1. Treat yourself to good food.
2. Take a long bubble bath.
3. Dress up.
4. Sleep in.
5. Use your “best” stuff (perfume, dishes, sit on the expensive couches)
6. Do nothing.

An Invitation

I hope you find balance today by doing an act of kindness with intention.  What acts of kindness do you do for yourself?  Share it in the comments below and let’s grow the list.  Let’s treat ourselves and others with kindness today.
image credit: harcorutgers 9qfcrbezd3

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In part one of Become Untouchable in the Recession, I talked about how Excellence can play a vital role in boosting your confidence and your skill set.  We outlined what excellence actually means and what it looks like in our jobs and in our daily home lives.  We talked in length of various things we can work on that were mainly theoretical.  Excellence is not something that people are born with, it is something that is nurtured and developed.  And you can develop this outstanding quality too.  It’s time to put this theory into practice with some simple tools.

Practical Tools to Develop Excellence

1. Write your own funeral speech. What are you going be remembered for?  What do you want said about you?  Are you doing those things you want to be remembered for?  If not, make a plan to achieve them.
2. What will your resume read like in a few years? Make an ideal resume of yourself that reflects all your successes and accomplishments 5 years from now, 10 years from now, 20 years from now… And, make concrete baby-steps towards that resume.
3. Create a vision board with milestones with do-able steps that are not hard. A vision board can be a poster, a tack board or a piece of paper that has drawings, quotes, and inspiring stories that you put up in a place you can see everyday reminding you of your future goals. (Paste it in your car, in your bedroom, in the kitchen…)
4. Tell someone about it – become accountable. This person can ask you from time to time how your goals are going.
5. Create a SWOT. It is a web of your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. Outline these and work on the weaknesses and threats, while capitalizing on your strengths and opportunities.
6. Write or repeat positive affirmations to yourself. Keep reciting good words and it will help take out all the negative things, the fear, in your heart and mind that stops you from being excellent. The mind can play terrible tricks on us.
7. Become an apprentice or job shadow someone who exhibits excellence in your field. What can you learn by observing them? How do they work, what do they read, how do they exhibit and maintain excellence, who did they learn from, can you learn from them too?

“If you sit with a musk-seller, after awhile some of their perfumed scent is sure to rub off onto you.” ~Unknown

A Personal Goosebump Story

I once wrote a report card about this young boy in my grade six classroom. I don’t write the conventional report card, which is to select one sentence comments from a drop-down box from a computer program. (#43 ______ should be commended in the subject of science.)

Instead, that year I wrote a full page report detailing every aspect of all my students in my class (spiritual, physical, emotional, social) including the young boy. The boy moved the following year and transferred to another school. A year later, I was at a conference with over 100 attendants and a teacher approached me and we started talking about education. After a few moments into the conversation, the woman asked me what school I taught at and I told her. She asked me, “Do you know (the young boy’s name)?

I replied, “Why, of course, he was my student last year.” The woman exclaimed, “You wrote the most amazing and thorough report card for _______. He transferred to my class! From your report, I knew exactly what kind of child I was receiving right down to his likes and dislikes. Because you wrote it the way you did, the student was easy to teach and he has excelled quickly because I didn’t have to figure him out first. You didn’t just select comments from the box?”

I got goose-bumps! The hours and days and weeks I spend writing full-page reports actually came back to me!

That day, I felt affirmed that I was on the right track to complete things with Excellence. I left my “mark” on this report card and it came back to me with a reward. I felt elated. I ask myself, “How would this situation be different if I wrote it in a hurry, to get it over with and move on to the next task, only to complete that task in the same haphazard way – what if I just used the drop-down comment box?” I wouldn’t have got the goose bumps that I did that day.

“Excellence is to do a common thing in an uncommon way.” Booker T. Washington

Parting Thoughts

Remember that excellence is not the same as perfection. Excellence is striving to be better, to always improve, to strive to be the very best you can be. As humans we are imperfect and full of flaws. Thus, perfection is something we can never really achieve. Perfection isn’t in our reach – excellence certainly is and the great people who have gone before us have proven this to us. This is a reminder first to myself before I send them to you.

An Invitation

What are some practical tools that you use that develops or instills excellence?  Which tools are the most appealing to you?  What works for you and what blocks you from being excellent?  Share with us in the comments below and let’s help each other with this life-changing characteristic.

image credit: geishaboy500

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1. Become Untouchable in the Recession Part 1: Make Excellence Your Mark

Back in Grade 8 as soon as we would enter the classroom there was absolutely no talking allowed.  Mr. Miller would simply pass out our loose-leaf journals and we would write in them for 15 minutes in complete silence.  We were not allowed to go to the bathroom, whisper, ask questions or make shuffling noises with our feet.

Then, after 15 minutes he would simply pick them up and put them behind his desk, locked in a cabinet.  He told us that he wouldn’t read them or “mark” them and no one else would, he simply wanted us to write.  He didn’t even make us read out the occasional journal entry after the 15 minutes were up because he thought that knowing that you might have an audience would change the way we really wanted to write.  

From that day, I was never without a journal or paperback in my bag.  I would scribble away all the time and read in every spare moment.  I developed my love for the English language, reading and writing so much, I wanted to go on to major in English in university.  And I did do that and to the dismay of myself and my former teachers and friends, my fear of writing set in.  I stopped writing and reading and my love of English (almost) went down the drain.

I’ll try not to hamper too much on how university can kill your spirit (I’ll save that for another post).  I will say that getting the “right” teacher for your courses really matters.  Researching your teachers by reading reviews posted on them, reading their biographies and philosophical take on life and their expectations of you in class is really important.  

As a teacher, I know that there are a lot of bitter teachers out there – I was one and have also worked with many.  Teachers can lose their passion about their subject because they are also mistreated in lots of ways.  Most often it’s not their fault and they need support.  But, if they haven’t got that support yet and you feel that in the first few classes – drop the course!  I strongly believe that the teacher is the curriculum and you end up taking in their energy, their thought processes and more than just the course content you signed up for.

It wasn’t until I met this one teacher in graduate studies that changed the way I thought about writing.  She was the first person to tell me that the “five paragraph essay” was just a template and that “yes, I can use “I” in my essays.”  I seriously was not told this before and was penalized about these very things in the past.  She basically threw out everything I was ever told about writing.  

She reminded me of Mr. Miller who just wanted us to write, to get out on the page what we really want to say, to just bring the insides of our thoughts out on the page.  She cared about the content not the container.  And, slowly, the fear of writing started to dissipate, even though I am still to this day very fearful.  I do believe that the mechanics of writing are important but it’s something I still struggle with a lot and really fear.  I am choosing to focus on content more for now and improve on the mechanics as I go on, but I don’t want it to block me.  This blog is just one way to keep at it anyway, to revive what I once used to love so much.  (So, please ignore my attempts at punctuation, grammar and fragments and enjoy the content!)

So, how am I getting over the fear?  Here are a few ideas that have really helped me.  

Examine and Understand the Fear

Where is your fear coming from?  Maybe it comes from a teacher’s red markings on your story, someone told you that you were a bad writer, you’ve placed high expectations on yourself, you’re comparing yourself to others, even published authors, you fear what people will think.  Or you think, “what’s the point of writing this blog, there are tons of blogs out there -who is going to read mine?”  Examine your thought processes.  

What is fear?  

Fear comes in the form of a negative thought of something that may or may not occur in the future.  So, we are spending all our time and energy and attention on something that might not even happen.  This time could be spent on your writing.  There is also good fear and bad fear.  For example, if you are a cyclist and you see a rock or a branch in your way, your brain sends and receives signals about it, this allows you to make a decision on how to react to the rock or branch.  Are you going to ride around it, over it, or take another path?  Bad fear is when your brain sends and receives signals to you about something but there is no reaction to it – it leaves you paralyzed.  

Act On Your Fear

Choosing to let your fear control you inhibits your happiness in life and takes you out of balance.  Instead, take steady steps to act on your fear, let go of preconceived notions, let go of judgments and negative voices and take back your life.

Here are a few ways to get back to your writing.

1.  Get a journal.  You can even go and get a fancy one.  Personally, I prefer plain white sketchbooks even though I also use lined.  I like sketchbooks because you can scribble (no words), draw images, or mind-map because the blank pages are not constricting like the lined ones.  

2.  Get a nice pen or pencil.  There is nothing more frustrating than wanting to actually sit down and write and every pen you pick up does not work.  Treat yourself and get a nice pen that is easy to hold in the fingers and writes fluidly.  And stock up on them too.  Put them away in a drawer so that other people in your house don’t use them.  They are special to just you and your writing.

3.  Clear your desktop and tabs.  The first two points are for the traditional types who still write on pen and paper.  Nowadays, many of us will write on the computer.  Clear away the clutter in your browser and desktop and open up a blank document.  Close your email tab (and the gmail notifier) too.  Choose a new font from the toolbar and perhaps change the color of your font too.  No one says you need to use the default font or color when you are writing for yourself.  Change it up.

4.  Read about writing.  There is a plethora of books out there on writing.  I can recommend so many to you.  However, five books sort of stand out from the rest that have helped me the most.  

a)  On Writing Well by William Zinsser:  Zinsser focusses mostly on simple writing.  This book helped me to recognize excess words (I am so guilty).  Adding more words, like adjective and adverbs to your ideas doesn’t help, he says it just adds clutter. He has simple tips like reading your work out loud to hear what it really sounds like and says that most mistakes can be found if you read it back and so many people don’t do this.  He also writes on themes and audience and how to write for specific things like sports or science.  A great book in our house that is re-read often.

b)  The Right to Write by Julia Cameron:  This book affirms the life of a writer.  It motivates you to think about writing again if you have left it for whatever reason.  The book is made up of small easy-to-read chapters or snippets so it can be easily read daily or weekly.  She talks about all the excuses we give ourselves not to write (I think the excuses she gives in the book are a way to hide behind not admitting fear).  She talks about busy schedules, lack of writing space, your family or your daily 9-5 as excuses.  If you like Zen-type of affirmations and if you think writing is “your purpose” or “your mission” or “makes who you are” this book is for you.  

c)  Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott:  Like Julia Cameron, Lamott’s book is also a book that motivates and celebrates the writer inside all of us.   The book’s title comes from advice from Lamott’s father to her 10 year old brother struggling over a book report on birds:  ”Just take it bird by bird.”  She talks about how to write fiction and why to focus on characters mostly.  The book is lengthier than the others but if you are looking for a pick-me-up back into the world of writing, this book can help.

d)  Elements of Style by William Strunk and E.B. White:  This is the most popular book out there in writing.  Now, this book is celebrating it’s 50th Anniversary Edition in a new durable binding to be kept for years longer because you know that you are going to use it!   This book is for everyone from high school to graduate students of writing.  It is compact, jam-packed, simple and incredibly important for clear and strong writing.  It should be on the bookshelf of anyone who writes.

e)  Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss:  This is a hilarious book about punctuation.  Yes, you read that right, punctuation!  This witty little volume, much like Elements of Style, is a U.K. #1 bestseller.  The book’s title is based on how incorrect punctuation about a panda bear in a bar can cause a big fuss.  The panda bear eats: shoots and leaves.  But with the comma in the title, it means that the panda bear actually “shoots” something and leaves.  She uses a very conversational tone and addresses common errors that grammar books try to teach.  A hilarious way to look at grammar again and the importance of mechanics in one’s writing.  

5.  Don’t compare your writing to others.  It happens.  We read so many blogs online, all these great books and articles and we think, “I can’t write like that” or “That only happens to ‘good’ writers.”  Well, there is no real definition of a ‘good’ writer.  Comparing yourself to others only makes your mind spiral downwards.  Instead give yourself mini-milestones and compete against yourself.  You might write one blog post today.  Try to write 1 and 1/2 the next day and two the next.  Challenge yourself to be a better writer instead of comparing yourself against other writers.  Better yet, strive to be a writer that someone compares their writing to.

6.  Form a Writing Circle.  To be a better writer, you will need to show your writing to others.  Start by gathering a small group of your friends and colleagues and get together one night every week to share and discuss your writing.  The critique of others in a compassionate setting is a good stepping stone to improve your writing.

7.  Be an apprentice.  One of my favorite ways to learn anything new or to improve on skills is to find a teacher who is an expert in the field.  Follow them around for a day or even a week and learn how they do things.  Ask lots of questions.

8.  Let Go of Pre-Conceived Notions.  This goes in hand with number seven.  When you do study with a teacher, forget everything that you thought you knew about writing.  When the container is already full, what else can you possibly pour in your cup?  Empty your cup of preconceived notions and start fresh.  

9.  Start Small.  First, try writing in a personal journal for only yourself and start loving it again.  Move on to writing letters to your spouse or your children and then branch out to your community newsletter or start a blog.  Google for freelance writing jobs or post yourself on sites like Suite 101 (they are currently hiring) About.com or Elance and start making some income with your writing.

Admittedly, there are still traces of the fear felt when I write and I do get the butterflies in my stomach every time I hit “publish” and my writing is up for all to see.  I am choosing to act despite my fear and trusting that even though I will make mistakes, at least I am trying.  It is one step closer in becoming more balanced.

An Invitation

Do you or did you have a fear of writing?  What helped you get over it?  What kinds of writing practice do you do?  Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments below and let’s give each other The Right to Write.
image credit: Aileen

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If you have been pregnant you might understand where I am coming from. But, if not and you might even be a man reading this, don’t worry. I will tell you how if everyone knew and followed the diet of a pregnant person, we would save millions of dollars in medical bills.

I grew up very healthy on my mother’s food.  My traditional mother would make everything from scratch, grinding up spices by hand, making sauces with ‘real’ tomatoes, making her own yoghurt and the list goes on.  Then, I got married and I had to start cooking for myself and things quickly changed.  I bought a spice rack with everything already ground up, I buy “Roasted Garlic and Onion” pasta sauce ready to go and I love the 8% French Vanilla Yoghurt you can get here on Granville Island.  What is more, I was painfully addicted to coffee – regular drip, lattes, mochas, roasted bean, iced – everything.

There are a lot of rules for pregnant women to follow – especially when it comes to the health of a baby. But, if only I knew all this stuff before, I would’ve made the changes way back when.  And some of the stuff I learned was downright startling.

The fact of the matter is that there is no such thing as “Eating Well for Pregnancy” or “The Pregnancy Diet” or “The Guide to Eating Healthy During Pregnancy.”  The kind of stuff in these books and articles should be recommended reading for everyone!

There is nothing like the health of a baby to have all its fingers and toes, a healthy beating heart, no high-sugar in her blood and a good birth weight that make you want to try your best to eat well.  

I think I was the most healthy in these last 10 months and counting than I have ever been in my life.  I revived my energy and quit coffee amongst other life-affirming changes to my diet.  What is more, my husband joined me in this new goal of becoming healthy and for those of you who are trying to conceive – the health of the both of you really matters.  

Here are a few simple things you can do right now to balance your mood, boost your energy and revive your spirit.

1.  Gimme Six Instead of Three:  Instead of eating three times a day that can leave you feeling full and heavy especially at dinner, eating six times a day and lightly keeps your blood sugar level, gives you an energy boost more often and keeps you more in balance and it’s all about the balance right?  :)  It allows you to empty out your system more frequently by reminding you to drink a glass of water with each mini-meal – you just need to squeeze two more glasses to get the recommended eight.  Those of you trying to lose weight (not recommended for preggos) eating six meals instead of three surely helps.  Try it.

2.  Vitalize with Vitamins:  Some people say that if you eat well-balanced, from all four food groups, then you don’t have to take a multi-vitamin.  Others say that you must take a vitamin no matter what.  I don’t like eating hidden “meat” ingredients in my food and so I read everything on the labels before I buy it.  I took my time reading the label of this one multi-vitamin bottle.  They really do jam-pack a lot into one vitamin!  I know that I don’t eat all the “right” foods every day.  But, things like “folic acid” were supplements I wasn’t getting enough of at all.  I now take a daily multi-vitamin along with eating a balanced meal as often as possible.

3.  Fill up with Folic Acid:  It is highly recommended for people to take folic acid every day and I did not know this until I started reading about pregnancy.  Folic acid is so important that it is recommended that if you want to conceive you should start having this right away (at least 3 months before you learn that you are pregnant).  It is a supplement that is found in dark green vegetables, mostly.  Yes, that’s right – start eating the salads and the broccoli.  And even if you do eat your salads, it is still important to get enough folic acid with a vitamin.  This helps the baby’s spine grow straight and helps keep spinal problems at bay.

4.  Fishy Sushi:  There are a plethora of sushi restaurants!  I didn’t know that I couldn’t have one of my favorite foods while I was pregnant.  The caution of sushi is the raw fish.  Raw fish carries more bacteria than cooked fish.  Tuna, especially, has high levels of mercury that can be harmful.  What is the solution?  You can still get your soy sauce and wasabi fix with vegetable sushi.  Or, if you can’t pass up on the Spicy Salmon roll, there are some sushi restaurants that now specialize in sustainable fishing practices.  They usually have a certificate up on their wall authorizing that the fish were raised and caught ethically.  We now have a favorite sushi restaurant where they use gloves to make each roll (less chance of cross-contamination) and use clean utensils.  It took us awhile to find this joint but it is well worth it if you love sushi.

5.  Cut the Caffeine:  With coffee shops around every corner, both corporate and local, it is hard not to indulge in a latte with a good friend.  However, coffee is a diuretic and if consumed in large quantities or “strongly” it causes important nutrients like calcium to be taken out of your system.  It also leaves you more dehydrated and gives you mood swings.  It can interfere with how much rest you should actually have, as it artificially boosts your energy when a siesta is all that you really need.  Also, caffeine is not only found in coffee, but also in certain teas, chocolate, coffee ice-cream, and soft-drinks too. 

6.  Down the Water:  We hear it all the time, water is crucial to our health and it is true.  Drinking 8 glasses of water a day was a challenge for me and still is.  Proper water intake can help with excessive thirst that can lead to dehydration, headaches, dizziness and fatigue.  Water rejuvenates and improves skin condition amongst so many other benefits. 

7.  Papayas and Avocadoes:  Try new and different fruits and vegetables.  This helps you to change up your eating lifestyle.  There were a bunch of fruits and vegetables that I would never buy at the grocery store, always sticking to the same recipes.  Trying new fruits and adding new veggies to the stir-fry keeps things fresh and enjoyable.  For example, I learned that papayas help fight nausea and have a high source of fiber and avocadoes are high in nutrients and just plain delicious in sandwiches.  Two of my must-haves on my grocery list that I never ate before.

8.  Hormonal Cows? Go Organic for Milk:  I love milk so this was an important find for me.  After some research into the meat industry (how they feed, raise, slaughter, and keep animals on farms) I learned that a lot is injected into cows.  These injections go into our supply of milk and end up in our system and if pregnant in your baby!  We haven’t gone organic for many things in our home just yet – as it is very expensive.  But, going organic for milk was a good switch and it was only a dollar fifty more than our regular brand.  It tastes different too!  

9. Sunny side up not so Sunny:  Be careful with runny eggs because it has higher chances of having salmonella poisoning than scrambled.  Runny eggs can also be found in some desserts and salad dressings.  

10.  Hot dogs, deli-meats, cold-smoked seafood and cheese:  These can also be easily contaminated with listeria and salmonella poisoning.  Also, ready-cooked meats should also be heated to steaming before eating. 

11. Substitute Meat Protein:  I can’t really call myself a vegetarian.  But, I only eat meat once every two weeks in a meal.  And even then, I prefer fish and chicken and rarely eat beef (like once a year in a lasagna or something.)  I found great healthy alternatives to meat such as peanut butter, beans, chickpeas, tofu, whole-grain pitas, pecans, and lots of other nuts and seeds.

12.  Exercise:  Walking, walking, walking.  A simple exercise to keep the heart rate pumping that can be done back and forth in your home to around the river or on a track.  It helps clear the mind and engages the body too.  You don’t need expensive equipment to exercise.  You just need a little motivation, some time and good pair of shoes.

We often take more time to groom ourselves on the outside with showers, good clothes, cologne and hairstyles but we forget about treating our insides just as well.  Making these small changes to your lifestyle will greatly effect your mind just as much as it will change your body and energy level too.  With your body eating well, your heart, mind and soul will follow in feeling good, healthy and happy.

(Do consult your doctor for any changes to your diet and if you are expecting.) 

An Invitation

Have you found out anything about your diet recently that made you think twice about it?  What goals do you have to become more healthy?  Share with us in the comments below your thoughts and tips.

image credit: wiccked

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Oh my newborn is so cuddly to hold, cute when she coos, and smells so good (most of the time).  In between those newborn oohing and aahing from Mama and Baba, there is a whole lot of feeding which means a whole lot of diaper changing.  Recently, my oohs and aahs have changed to ewws and arghs.  Let me tell you what’s happening.

When I first got home from the hospital, I was told to keep a record of the number of “bowel moments” (aka poopy diapers) and “voids” (aka pee pee).  I didn’t know that my first three days of motherhood would be spent analyzing the insides of new daughter’s diapers.  Who knew that I would become an expert in my baby’s poop! 

I watched as the first baby poop went from black and tar-like, which was “meconium” (a lot of people did tell me about this) to greeny mustardy which was “good” if my baby did that.  But what I wish someone told me is how to get that tar-like stuff off my baby.  You can’t just use water and soap and your good ol’ baby wipes.  The answer to this: olive oil.  It’s natural, safe and most likely in your kitchen cabinet.  But, WAIT, that’s not what I really wished someone told me.

I’m telling you…  When your baby wakes up after a good two hours, most likely, your baby will poop.  If you feel her diaper and it seems heavy, your next move will be to want to change her.  Naturally.  You are a new mother, this is exciting.  You read all about this in the books, feeding and changing diapers, you can DO this!  But DON’T change her.  Well, at least not right away.  Instead, put her on your change pad and give her tummy a good rub.  What happens?  Poop explosion.  Then, you might think okay let’s change her now.  But DON’T!  Give her tummy another rub down and wait for another minute or so, you may get a second, maybe third poop explosion.  My hubby will be sure to tell you the same after some nice stains on his jeans and our “white” carpet.  :)

Next, now that you are sure it is really safe, take the old diaper off and quickly put the new diaper in its place before you wipe your baby down – IN CASE – IN CASE she might have a little bit more left (which also happens – quite frequently.)  Or, you could keep the old diaper in its place while you wipe her down but I find that she kicks so much that she can get poop on her feet and legs too.  I told you there were ewws and arghs in this post.  Keep a roll of paper towels near by too. 

There you have it.  I wish someone told me this about poop and changing diapers and now you know too!  

There are a great number of books about taboo topics like, ‘poop and gas.’  While they are a good read for kids who are shy or embarrassed about their bodily functions, they are a good laugh for adults too.  Check out:  ”The Truth About Poop” by Susan Goodman or “The Gas We Pass” by Shinto Cho.  And be sure to check out the hilarious: “Safe Baby Handling Tips” by David and Kelly Sopp (that’s where the pictures on this post are from.)
image credit: keepin it real

An Invitation

Do you have any tips while you change your baby’s diapers?  Share with us in the comments below and let’s save our upholstery and clothes together.

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Have you ever thrown away left-overs with fuzzy green fur on it or forgotten about those baby tomatoes you bought on impulse hidden in the back of your fridge? Or can you remember a time when you didn’t eat everything on your plate and someone admonished you and said, “Don’t you know that there are starving people in the world?” But, how exactly do our food habits help starving people? Besides the fact that our country produces too much to begin with, we throw away a lot of food and what is more – “good food” that could actually be eaten. These are not your table scraps or peelings – I mean food that was once good and edible is either forgotten about or we can’t finish the helping we have served ourselves.  

According to a national survey, if we total the amount we waste in “good food” it equals almost one billion pounds a year. One billion pounds! This food, prior to landing in your bin, could have been shipped to your local food bank or favorite organization to help the needy. It all adds up.  Avoiding wasting food significantly impacts the environment and can earn you more money in your bank account at the end of the day.  

Shopping

1. Make a shopping list before you go to the store cuts your bill in half as you buy only what you need versus what you want.
2. On the shopping list, indicate exactly how much of each thing you need and make a quick note on what you’re going to use it for. For example, “I need five bananas for my banana bread.”
3. Go to the grocery store on a full stomach (not before). Going to the store hungry fools your eyes (and stomach) to buy more.
4. Support your local produce stores. There is always a deal on fruit and vegetables. Some local produce stores also sell smaller quantities in a bundle.
5. Be aware of the 3 for 1 gimmick. Just because the store is selling three bundles on green onions for $1.00 doesn’t mean you have to buy all three. You can tell the cashier you only need one and they will most likely charge you just for one. If they charge you the full amount, skip out or give them away to your neighbour.

Cooking

1. Plan out a weekly meal. Write out what you will eat based on what is already in your fridge, not on things you have to go out and buy. (Tip: A whiteboard on your fridge works well.)
2. If you are cooking for two, think you’re only cooking for one and it will end up being more than enough for two. Have plenty of fruits on hand. Thus, if you’re not full, you can fill up on fruits rather than have left-overs rotting at the back of your fridge.
3. Get creative and experiment with ingredients you already have.

Eating

1. Try not to eat alone. The more mouths to feed, the less goes to waste.
2. Start with a small serving of food on your plate and then go back if need be.
3. When it’s time to eat, just eat. Try not to multi-task.
4. Eat with reflection. (Tip: Look at your hand as it moves around your plate.)
5. Eat in mid-pace, not too fast or not too slow. (Tip: Listen to your mouth chewing the food in your mouth.)
6. Eat from the same plate with another. You will eat with more awareness knowing others around you are also trying to get their fill (it also saves dishes).
7. Eat simple foods on a weekly basis and save your grand meals with all the garnish for one day of the week.

Left-Overs

1. Are veggies about to turn? Put them all together in a soup or mix it with orange juice and fruit for a blended energy drink.
2. Invest in tupperware, especially for those who cook in large quantities for lunch the next day.
3. Share. Have close friends or neighbours that don’t mind coming over spontaneously when you know you’ve cooked too much or give it away in your tupperware.

Eating Out

1. Find restaurants that give you small portions that you can actually eat. Or share the main meal (order only one) and get a mini appetizer, instead.
2. Order less than more. (Tip: Keep a menu at the table to re-order.)
3. Bring your tupperware to the restaurant (if you don’t want the styrofoam) and bring your left-overs (as small as it may be) home – make a sandwich out of it.
4. Choose a restaurant with a peaceful ambience. Places with loud noises and crazy music takes away your full concentration on your food.
5. Peek in to see who is preparing your food. Food prepared joyfully is more likely to taste good than food prepared grudgingly. (Tip: If applicable, strike up positive conversations with people making your food to put them at ease and happy.)

Tip: Try not to find fault with food served to you. If you like it, eat it. If you don’t like it, simply leave it. Complaining doesn’t help anybody, especially if someone took the time to make it for you. It just gives bad feelings to everyone.

Fruits and Veggies

1. Try to not buy food that you only need a little bit of to begin with like celery. We only use one or two stalks in our recipes and the rest turns to mush.
2. Cutting up cantaloupes, lettuce, broccoli, spinach etc and placing them into clear bags or tupperware or glass bowls, right when you buy it, makes snacking easier and more likely that you’re going to eat them (also place at eye-level).

Dairy

1. Buy the smallest possible size. If you save more money buying something in bulk (like the long thing of cheese) skip out if you know that the other half of the cheese is just going to go bad. Or if you really want the deal, freeze it.
2. Ever left with just a little bit in your yogurt containers or milk carton just about to go bad? Add it into those blended energy drinks (of course check if it’s already bad.)
3. Place milk cartons into the side of the fridge so it doesn’t get pushed to the back.
4. Cut cheese up into small slices (or how you like to have it) for easy use.

Water

1. Invest in a water filter system for your tap or one you can put in your fridge and skip out on the plastic water bottle insanity that is filling up our landfills. Invest in an aluminum water bottle and fill it up with your water filter system.
2. Instead of running water for cold water (wastes up to 10L of water a day), store water in a jug (although most doctors warn that cold water shocks your system especially on a empty stomach and makes your food slower to digest). Leave the jug on the counter or take it out an hour or so before you know you’re going to drink it. (Side note: Drinking hot water or warm green teas help you digest easily.)
3. Fill a bowl with water to wash fruits and vegetables instead of letting the water run. Pour remaining water into your plants.

Composting

1. Put your banana peels, egg shells, and other fruits and vegetables in a compost. It’s easy to have a small bin in your backyard. Take it to your local drop-off or add it to your garden as a rich free fertilizer.
2. For people that live in apartments/condos you can start an urban compost too under your sink (and avoid those fruit flies dancing around in your house).

Secrets of the Fridge and How to Maximize It

Did you know that fridges were never as big as they are today? Fridges were small, like those ones they have in hotel rooms. People’s belief systems have changed in the last century. People used to take a lot of pride in their natural simple diets and in cooking as much as they took pride in hospitality. People relied on local produce or their own gardens. They ate fresh food everyday versus our recent TV dinners and pre-packaged ready-to-eat meals to suit our busy 21st century lives.

1. Don’t fill it up!
2. The freezer is your best friend if you do cook in large quantities.
3. Place fruits and veggies on the shelf rather than in those cooler bins so you see them.
4. Place ketchup and soy sauce etc in the bins instead.
5. Place pasta sauce (once opened) at the back of your fridge (it’s the coldest part) it will keep a little longer than usual.
6. Clean out your fridge every week (at least) and make note of what you throw away the most and stop buying it!

Raise Awareness

1. Read stories of famous people who went hungry for several days because of the lack of food in their houses.
2. Reflect on your habits and try to change a habit every 40 days. Tell someone what you are doing. Share your goals.
3. Try fasting to feel hunger pains.
4. Volunteer at your local food bank or organization.

Just a few tweaks in your shopping, eating, cooking and general food habits can have huge local and global benefits. Start with a few goals from this list you haven’t tried yet and keep striving to implement more and more every week or month. You’ll start seeing that your household garbage will reduce significantly and you’ll save lots of money too.

An Invitation

What are some ways you have saved money while preserving food?  How else can we try to avoid wasting food?  Share with us your ideas in the comments below and let’s try to actively save our food and our wallets.
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There are a lot of givers in the world.  And we hear a lot about giving – give to charity, give to the needy, give a helping hand, be giving.  We give our ears to listen, our money, our love, energy and time.  But, we often don’t hear about the other side of this; we don’t hear about the takers, let alone do we hear that we should be takers.  

The fact is that in all the giving, there are people on the receiving end of all this – the takers.  There is nothing wrong with being a taker if you are also a giver.  Thus, it is vital to be able to give and to take in order to be a balanced and whole person.

Personal Story

I once had a girlfriend ask me for just about everything – from my time, my money, to my energy and love and because she was struggling at the time, I naturally gave to her without expecting anything in return. I used to put all my errands, my problems, my life on hold for her. I mean, I was cancelling my plans with other people, risking coming home way later than my family expected and loaning money I was saving for something else! (Yes, I know, this is too much.) A year later, she got married and things quickly changed.

She turned to her husband. This was okay for me. We kind of went back to being more balanced friends, but for some reason it never went back to being exactly the same, of course. So much had changed. I got so used to giving that I didn’t know how to take and she was so used to taking that she didn’t know how to give.

One day, I needed her to listen to me, so I called her up. She said to me quite frankly, “that she didn’t have the time.” I felt an immediate sense of resentment and I ended up playing over in my mind ALL the things I did for her. I didn’t like the resentment brewing inside of me like a forgotten pot of tea on the stove and wanted to understand it. Here’s what I think happened:

1. I didn’t truly give to her with no expectations in return.
2. I expected that she would not say no to me.
3. My expectations for what makes a good friend is quite high.

The repeated word in this cycle: expectations.

So, how do you battle this? Don’t have any!  Here are my thoughts on this:

1. When you give with your heart, you won’t ask or need a favour back (ever).
2. When you truly give to someone in genuine need, you don’t feel a sense of gratification in the giving.
3. When you give with your heart, you’ll soon forget the deed that you did and it doesn’t keep replaying in your mind (like I am so kind, I am so good).
4. Even though you are not looking for a payback, you should know that somehow you just will get rewarded because it is a law in the universe. But, you should also know that you will get the payback not in the way that you think and certainly not always from the person you gave to. Your sustenance is unpredictable and will come from unexpected places if you open yourself up to all the ways you could be given to. If you only rely on your paycheck every two weeks, you automatically close yourself off to all the other possible sources of income you could be making and receiving.
5. If you feel the slightest twinge of pain when you give – don’t. It’s time to take a break from the giving. It’s just not meaningful anymore and no one will benefit.

To be a truly balanced person in this principle you have to be willing to give and take otherwise you won’t be fulfilling a basic law of the universe and very soon the effect will surface.

Tips for Givers

1. Be able to take without feeling burdened. 
2. Start saying, “Yes!”
3. Give without making the receiver feel the giving. (Don’t make them feel bad for asking. A real gift of a person is that they see what a person needs and gives it to them without them having to ask you first.)
4. Give in secret.
5. Be aware of your heart. Are you giving out of obligation? Out of gratification? Or are you neutral? What is your motive?
6. Give when it is really hard to give (for example when you are really busy).
7. Give in other ways than materially (time, love, energy, a listening ear).
8. Hold back from time to time even when you really feel like giving and reflect on your heart when you hold back.
9. Give things away that you really really like. (Are you detached from your possessions?) In my tradition, we don’t give away things that we ourselves would never use. Giving away an old sweater that has holes in it or you are sick of it is not the same as giving away a sweater you really enjoy wearing, is it?

When Giving is not Okay

This is a hard one to determine because it requires looking deep within yourself and asking “why” before you give.  A friend of mine admitted to me that she often gives to people because it gives her a feeling of someone being “indebted” or “powerless” or “vulnerable” to her.  Of course, this is not okay!  It is manipulative to have a hidden motive behind your giving.

Sometimes we can receive gifts that are “too much” or gifts that are not really gifts at all.  For example, giving someone a membership to a weight loss class when they have no issues with their weight or enrolling them in an anger management class is not really a gift, it’s a disguise.  In your mind, you might be trying to be helpful – but the other person can feel quite rotten.  

Don’t give when the person feels forced or obliged to take from you.  You might be in a really good mood and want to give away your clothes or money, but sometimes people don’t want to receive.  Many people grow up where they have been taught not to take hand-outs or they have been taught that hard work is the only way to get things in life.  Many people don’t like taking things for free, especially if someone is giving to them out of pity.  If the person you are giving to is hesitating when you are trying to give – you might need to examine what you might be doing.  People can feel a lot through the energy you exude.  

Know when to give and when to let people help themselves.  This happens in my classroom a lot.  As a teacher, I have to be really careful when a student asks me for help.  I give the student as many tools I can to help them solve the question rather than give them the answer.  In fact, I almost never give the answer to my students in all my years of teaching!  (There are a few mystery questions we did in our class that my students are still wondering about today – Who Killed Felix?)  Sometimes a student will get the answer wrong again and again and I watch them struggle.  But, almost always when the student does get it – the moment of triumph is always exciting, who found the answer on their own.  It empowers and inspires them to take more risks.

Tips for Takers – Trying to Instill Giving in Yourself?

1. Make a plan for 40 days to give in a row until it becomes natural to you. Then go back to being balanced in your giving and taking. Wise scholars say that to make a habit permanent, do it for 40 days.
2. Start small. Give a smile to everyone you walk by. (You wouldn’t believe how many people can be stingy even with their facial expressions! I was one of them… eeek!) See: 50 (Not So) Random Acts of Kindness post.
3. Think besides money.
4. Start by giving to those closest to you. Your spouse, kids and family rather than strangers. This is often more hard to do.
5. Pick one small act of kindness and stick to it. Do it consistently. For example, pour water for everyone at the dinner table every night without making it a big deal. There is great reward in quenching someone’s thirst.
6. Change it up after 40 days.
7. Think of all the people who have given to you and reciprocate. Write thank you cards.
8. Reflect on your heart/spirit/ego. From what side are you doing the giving? Then, when you know for sure it is from the seat of your heart, proceed. If it isn’t, simply hold back until your heart goes back into expansion.

In a society where we are expected to give all the time, it can be hard to think about taking. To be on the middle path – the path towards a truly balanced person, trying to do both will make you the most happy.

An Invitation

Are you more of a giver or a taker? What are some ways that you try to be balanced in this principle?  Share your comments below and let’s try different strategies towards becoming balanced.
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Whether you are an engineer, doctor, carpenter, actor, blogger, teacher, coffee maker or student, we all share a common quality; we descend from a great lineage of powerful and inspiring people.  We come from a rich cultural heritage of innovators, inventors and experts in fields of science, trade, theology, mathematics, optics, medicine and education.

What does that have to do with you and excellence? It means that since we come from great people, we have a duty to also be a great person and one way to do that is to cultivate the quality of excellence in all that we strive to do.  By doing this, you can become untouchable in the recession, keep your job and even elevate to a higher position.

What is Excellence?

It is hard to find a word in English that translates directly to excellence. It can mean to do something with the highest quality, very well, or optimally. It can be to do something with great attention or hard work. But these words are still hard to define further; excellence is more like an experience.

My Definition: In the Flow

Have you ever been so into the ‘flow’ that you forgot to eat, or slept really late into the night working tirelessly on something and/or forgot all about the time? And not because you have a deadline, but because you are really enjoying it and creating something with a real inner yearning to do so? 

For me, excellence emerges when we are so deep into something that all else fades away from our immediate attention. You don’t care for food, sleep or time. Somehow the mind and heart have been stilled from all problems and trivial matters and you are fully in the present moment only thinking about the thing you are working on.  To do something with great yearning and love and not out of obligation or duty, this is excellence to me.

(For more on “Flow” I recommend this excellent book by the author, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, “The Psychology of Optimal Experience.” You can get it here.)

“Excellence is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.” ~ John W. Gardner

Personal Story

I’m a school teacher and I remember when I first got hired. I was so excited. I got all dressed up, got there early, full of ear to ear smiles, the whole thing. Ah, the smell of dried up paint, the first pencil mark on a fresh crispy notebook page and the remnants of chalk on my skirt and hands. I loved it. But over time, my motivation to wake up every morning to go to work started to wean. Why? Well, truthfully, the conditions of my job were horrible for one thing (that’s another post.) But, my attitude towards the horrifying educational standards were another. I came home complaining about my employer, the school’s policies and rules, the Ministry of Education, everything! And, when I was so unhappy with my job, I started to become mediocre in it and excellence was surely tossed out with the crusty chalk shammies.

But, teaching is something I am very passionate about. I just had to motivate myself to strive for excellence again, for myself and for everyone whose lives I come into contact with on a daily basis. I had to shift my thinking. Now, I feel deeply honored and privileged that parents would allow me to teach their kids and this feeling makes me feel indebted towards my students. I stopped caring about the rules and policies about schooling and focussed my attention solely on the students – doing everything I could to provide an excellent education despite how hard the conditions were.

How do we cultivate Excellence into our work and daily lives?

“Think highly of yourself because the world takes you at your own estimate.” ~Anonymous

Change your Thinking Patterns: What we think and believe about ourselves, our job and the people around us is the foundation of creating excellence. If we are constantly complaining about things with no intended action to change, we are creating negative thought patterns which effect everything and everyone around us. But, with positive thinking patterns we do exactly the opposite, creating a gateway for excellence to enter the scene.

Become Introspective: Look into yourself and really examine your strengths, your talents, hobbies and interests. What do you really love to do, and how you could you organize your life around it? Be honest with yourself. Are you an engineer because you wanted to be or because it is “safe” or your parents made you? When you love to do something, Excellence is inevitable. I didn’t really become a teacher because “I like marking or stickers” (quite the contrary)- but I became one because it allows me to be creative, which is my first love. Do what you love to do, life shouldn’t be any other way.

Identify Key Skills: Select one or two skills that will help you the most in your life and then make a plan to become excellent in that area. For example, if becoming a better writer is something that would help you become excellent – make a plan to take a course, read books on grammar or hire a tutor to help you. Try to work on your job, not just in your job.

Develop Your Personal Stand Out Factor: What makes you stand out from the crowd? This isn’t to be arrogant or conceited. But, what are you really good at, what gift have you been given because we all have something and some of us more than one thing! Use this talent for the benefit of yourself and others and do it with grace. Capitalize on your strengths.

Be A People Person: But, don’t waste your time trying to make people like you. Instead spend your time becoming someone YOU like. And, if you like yourself, others most certainly will be attracted to you because you will exude that. There is no point in being excellent if it brews ill will in people and you are arrogant because of it. Excellence is truly effective when other people can benefit from you.

Praise Others: Find positive things to say about the people around you even when you don’t feel like it. This takes out the negative judgements that might be brewing in your mind and blocking your positive energy flow. Instead, find and say nice things about people to others especially when they are not there and really mean it. This quality makes you appear confident about yourself because you can praise others without feeling threatened. In turn, people will say nice things about you!

Adopt a Creative and Fun Attitude: Excellence is developed through having a positive energy flow. And, having a good time while you work can make it more enjoyable. Anything done begrudgingly makes it hard, slow and boring. If you are not in a good state when doing something, wait, until the negative energy passes. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs were on to something when they sang, “Whistle While You Work.”

Find and Build On Your Sense of Humour: Also related to the previous one, but slightly different. If you are more of a serious person (like me) this is a hard quality to work on. But, just trying to relax and laugh more will help. When things don’t go right or things become stressful, being light-hearted can really go a long way. And, humour is known to bring connection with others as a common bond of understanding and is a very non-threatening quality to others.

Grab Opportunity to Show your Talent: Don’t wait for others to give you permission to do something. They might not even know you have a particular talent and might not even ask you to do something. Nobody will say no to you for taking on more responsibility, especially if you can do it really well. A phrase that got me through the schools I’ve worked in is, “Seek forgiveness rather than permission.” (Got me through a lot of messes!)  Just go out and try it.  Risk it.

Seek Feedback: While we might we know our strengths and weaknesses, others might see something different. Ask your friends, co-workers, family members and colleagues about their constructive opinion about you or your work and act on it.  (Constructive is a key word in that sentence.)

Stop Blaming Outside Forces: This is what I did. I blamed everyone but myself – other people or organization systems or company policies. They may have some control over the conditions you work in but they don’t have control over your attitude to work in those conditions. Concentrate on what is within your control and that is your energy, your attitude and your personal commitment to Excellence. It’s tiring to try to change someone’s thought patterns, but changing your own is within your grasp.

Seek Challenges: If you are bored in your job, it will lead to being mediocre. It just may be that you are not being challenged. Look for things to do that highlight your strengths and improve your weaknesses. Take on a new task that has nothing to do with you what you normally do, but that you feel like learning. Excellence is about always improving yourself. There is no end goal to Excellence.

Seek New Training: Most jobs offer professional development conferences, courses or training.  I have always felt renewed after attending a teacher conference and speaking with intelligent and passionate teachers.  Revive your lack of motivation with this and get excited again. Excellence is about working hard and learning new things.

Pay Attention to Detail: This is by far probably the most important one. Details are everything! Really train your mind to pay attention to detail. Details can make something to go from mediocre to Excellence in minutes. For example, say you are cutting up fruits to serve to someone. You can either just cut them up, place them in a plate randomly and put them on the table, or, you could cut the fruits in a different style, arrange the fruits in a design, color- coordinating them so they have that extra special – something different about them. It may take 2 or 3 more minutes but that is the difference between mediocrity and Excellence in a potentially small thing like serving a platter of fruit. The person you are serving it to will feel special that you took the time to make it look nice before serving it to them and somehow the fruit just tastes different.

“If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters.” ~Colin Powell

The Benefits of Cultivating Excellence

When you are truly working at the level of Excellence with commitment and love and positive energy, other people around you will also feel like committing to Excellence just because you are; it attracts. Positive attracts the positive and excellence attracts excellence. When you give yourself permission to be excellent, you automatically give others around you a gateway to be the same. Thus, it asks all of us to raise our standards of living – to live with purpose and with awareness.

The Pleasure of Excellence: You realize that you come from a great people and have made up your mind to add to this list.

It Gains You a Good Reputation: People will talk about your work being very good and next time there is a need to have something done, you could be the one asked to do it because you did it so well previously.  

You Become Untouchable or Irreplaceable: Your attention to detail, your commitment in working hard, your desire to do things in an excellent manner will not go unnoticed to the company or your employer or your family. Thus, in times of a recession or job lay-offs you become an important part of the team and will not be effected by cutbacks.

Parting Thoughts

Excellence means something different to all of us. Take some time and ask what excellence actually means to you. Whatever it means to you, one thing for certain is that excellence is important. Why? Because everything you do is a reflection of you, thus, it is your mark. The better you are at something, the more in demand you will be. It offers you more freedom. Thus, excellence can get you where you want to be like the great people who have carved the path before us.

An Invitation

What are some things you can change to add more excellence in your work and daily life?  How do you think we can become more excellent?  Share your thoughts in the comments below and let’s find ways to leave a lasting impression before our time ends on the Earth.  Be sure to check back again often for Part 2 of this post where I will be giving practical tools.

image credit: stuartpilbrow

Related posts:

1. Become Untouchable in the Recession Part 2: Practical Tools to Develop Excellence

Standardized testing, ranking schools, and undermining student intelligence are the current trends of education. It is a time of dramatic change as schools turn into factories which are churning out students being taught a narrow set of skills readied to enter the ‘workforce’.

Students have become mere dapplers in education – learning a little bit of everything without any real depth – rather than obtaining mastery, thorough and applicable knowledge on a subject. Students have stopped learning just for the sake of knowledge and instead are making cover letters and resumes as early as grade seven.

Teachers, as well, are increasingly scrutinized and held accountable if their class does not rank in the ‘top’ schools of the city in two isolated subjects: English and Math. As a result, teachers have to ‘teach to the test’ producing deadening curricula, taking the heart and soul out of education.

However, this is not being done without the concerned eye of holistic teachers and interestingly, environmentalists[1], who are advocating in the margins, barely heard, over dumbed-down[2] learning outcomes in the hallways of our schools. An obsession with grades and testing are loudly taking over construction paper poems and watercolour paintings. Schools are leaning towards the left-side of the brain, teaching logic, reason, and analytics as priority and are leaving out the right-side of the brain that teaches compassion, creativity and culture as Art, Music, Drama and Physical Education are side-lined in the curriculum.

Students do not have a choice whether they want to learn English or Math[3] but PE becomes optional[4] as students enter high-school. Students can not even choose the latter as they are bombarded with homework[5] in the ‘priority’ subjects. The priorities have drastically changed, as the time allocation for PE and Art has gone from everyday to twice a week for only 30 minutes.

Moreover, many teachers are frustrated that they don’t have the time for even that, as time constraints to ‘finish the curriculum’ loom. Unless the teacher herself is a lover of PE or Art, it is forgotten under the guise of ‘subject priority’ in schools. Even more, resources to teach Art or PE are a luxury as paint has dried up and basketballs are left deflated. This also teaches students that Art, PE or Drama is something they can do after-school in a club (after the ‘real’ learning is done). They become mere hobbies rather than an important skill set.

Yet, it is not the fault of the teacher or the administration as they are pawns in a hidden curriculum[6] that deadens the senses and positions education like a business that serves to produce observable results.

At the most impressionable age of children, usually aged 7, a students’ sense of balancing both sides of the brain is fast becoming lost. If students do not come from households that establish a sense of reflection and wonder, students end up becoming regimented, moody and stressed as they grow into adults.

Learning as a Voyage of Discovery of Oneself

One reason is because their sense of Truth and awe is subtly suppressed as their entire learning process is designed to pass provincial exams and not seen as a voyage of discovery of oneself, as education once was.

How can we revive Spirituality in Education?

If the natural order of the world is that everything is in pairs, “And we have created you in pairs,” like the night and the day, then the best approach would be to equally water both sides of the brain, to give students the best holistic education possible. And, to maintain this sense of balance within students, the soul needs constant care and nourishing from teachers that teach from the heart[7] to the heart of the student.

The Heart and Soul

Because the soul is difficult to give a universal meaning to and something that can not really be identified by science, it makes it even more uncomfortable for educators and thus disregarded. And, really, the last thing we want is another ‘assessment’ test, like the FSA[8], that measures the soul. For, how do you place value on a random act of kindness or a picture of a landscape or a running race? Because the soul can not be quantified, (given a letter grade on a report card), schools are leaving out unobservable activities altogether.

The challenge is to revive spirituality in education, knowing that ‘religious’ education is entirely a different thing. Schools have a mandate to not overtly teach or promote any religion in danger of indoctrinating children and rightfully so! Spirituality, on the other hand, serves to bring universal values of all people, of all races and of all creeds to the forefront towards cultivating them in our students.

As a result, there has been a wave in faith, independent and private schools. Endeavours like Waldorf, Montessori, Reggio Emilio and a plethora of home-schooling philosophies are fast becoming the learning center of choice.

A Future Vision

Education will have a just balance between the spiritual and the intellectual. But, at the same time blurring the lines between the two, so they are a unified concept rather than just another separate subject allotted in a block of time.

An ideal learning center’s mission would insist on nurturing mercy, peace and love in its students as a priority, strengthening their identity first as spiritual beings, re-discovering self-respect for one self, for others and their environment, before any quantitative knowledge is explicitly taught.

Students can not learn anything if their basic need for being accepted and acknowledged as a special being on the Earth are not met first. For, what will a student who is hungry, broken-hearted or dispirited find useful with a memorized set of multiplication tables?

With a solid foundation in place that takes root in nourishing the soul, it’s branches are sure to produce fruits of knowledge from balanced whole students. If the roots are anything other than holistic, it will raise fragmented children who may have knowledge but without mercy.

Knowledge and Mercy

Knowledge without mercy can make one argumentative and even arrogant. While mercy without knowledge makes one gentle indeed, but without having any real knowledge to impart. A balance between knowledge and mercy, the intellect and the heart, invites children to become whole beings, with their true disposition in tact, and only then can they serve the world.

Ideally, building a new school with a new philosophy may be a temporary solution and serve a certain number of students, but public education is a large international enterprise. In reality, many students are stuck there as these other alternatives are also costly. It would be wise to raise holistic teachers to brave the storm and change the course from within the schools themselves, navigating with a spiritual compass.

For example, television, movies and now the internet are often condemned as bad for your soul. But, it is not the medium that we should blame (nor the schools). It is what is on these mediums that cause us to cringe. Television, media and the internet have the potential to reach millions of people very quickly, as do schools.

If we could have more of our youth develop media personalities, become journalists or creators of more expressive art or document interesting history we would not be so disgruntled about our screens. These inventions are remarkable, likewise, there are some outstanding administrators in schools already changing the tide. It is not the school nor the screens, but how they are being used. It is up to us to make a change to these inventions, these schools, by getting involved in these very mediums.

The future face of education shall be one that creates wonder, a sense of Truth, and compassion for others and the environment. It holds teachers who create a thirst for learning, who guide students to become self-motivated seekers of knowledge. It houses students who reflect on the signs of the universe, who are well-balanced, healthy-bodied, expressive children who strive for excellence and seek Truth.

Educare: Lead Forth, Draw Out

The word education is derived from the Latin roots, ‘educo’ and ‘educare’. Educare means to “to bring up.” Educare can also be traced back to the latin roots, ‘e’ and ‘ducere’. Educere means to “lead forth” or “draw out.” True education would steer students to “draw out” inherent knowledge rather than “put in” celebrating that students already arrive in the world with something to offer us and are not “empty” containers.

Educare – seeking knowledge from within will invite our souls to school, so we can move ever closer to the knowledge of our Lord. Know Thyself is only one part of the famous maxim we have all come to memorize – but the complete maxim is “Know Thyself, Know Thy Lord.” And, holistic stewards would strive to reveal and revive exactly that – heart to heart.

[1]Caring for the Earth is rooted in spirituality.

[2]See “Dumbing Us Down,” by John Taylor Gatto.

[3]English and Math are important subjects. I am emphasizing the need for all kinds of learning.

[4]Students in high-school have ‘electives’ to add on to Math, English and Science, which are obligatory.

[5]Homework can be seen as another tool to control kid’s free time.

[6]A type of secular education that thrives on dominating obediece of children, while ignoring their inherent gifts.

[7]They guide students to self-discovery using the child’s inherent longing. See “Teaching to Transgress,” by bell hooks.

[8]The FSA test is given to Grade 4 and Grade 7 students every year to assess their English and Math skills in written format whose results are posted to rank students and schools.

An Invitation

What are some ways that you balance both brains?  If you have kids have you thought about other ways to “teach” them rather than public school?  What are your thoughts on home-schooling?  How else can we “teach” our kids?  Share your comments below and let’s work together to think about and even put into action how kids can grow up as whole as can be.

image credit: vaXzine

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