The Jammie Girl

Quietness and Confidence

Angie — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 12:29:56 +0000

Icon above my computer

At Ash Wednesday Mass I ran into a co-worker I hadn’t seen in almost a year. She asked how I was doing, and I replied that I’d love to say I was coming back to work soon, but it just wouldn’t be possible until the pain got better. I assumed (correctly) that she’d already heard through the hospital grapevine about my back-to-back neurosurgeries last Spring. She responded with a wave of her hand, “The pain will never get better. You just have to live with it. I’m in pain every day and I just go to work and deal with it.” I was taken aback, but smiled, and said that I’d dealt with constant pain for two years between my second and third surgery, but it was just too intense now for it to be safe for me to work, even on strong pain medication. She again advocated “toughing it out without medications”, so I changed the subject, told her it was nice to see her, and passed along greetings for the other co-workers I hadn’t seen since last Spring.

The conversation didn’t bother me at the time, but later that night I lay awake wondering if everyone thought I was a wimp, a slacker, a faker. It disturbed me, not because I care so much about what other people, especially people who don’t know me well, think, but because it was such a blow to my self-confidence to have someone dismiss what I have endured this past year so easily. Then I ran across this scripture:

Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved.
In quietness and confidence is your strength.
~Isaiah 30:15

So I will continue to wait in quiet confidence, and know that God does have a plan for me, hopefully one that involves less pain.

What prayer or scripture has inspired you this week? Drop by Saints and Scripture Sunday, Scripture and a Snapshot, Sunday Snippets, Spiritual Sundays, Hear it on Sunday, Playdates with God, Walk With Him Wednesdays, iFellowship, Planting Mustard Seeds, Good Morning Girls, and Journeys of Faith Fridays to share!

Priced at just $4.99, it is now available in every format your little heart could desire at Smashwords, or, if you prefer, it’s also for sale in a Kindle version at Amazon or a Nook version at Barnes and Noble!

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Shopping and Ashes and Horseplay

Angie — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 12:11:00 +0000

— 1 —

John and I watched Ghost Rider the other night. Evidently there’s a sequel out or coming out soon, so he DVRd it in order to convince me to take him to see the new one. I’m a huge Nicholas Cage fan (OK, just a fan of how he looks on screen. I loved him in Valley Girl.), but I wasn’t sure I was willing to sit through a movie about some motorcycle rider who’d sold his soul to the devil. First off, I think my pal Nick proved in Con Air that he can’t fake a Southern accent, so I’m not sure why he tried it again in this movie. It does grate on the nerves of those of us who appreciate the beauty of a real Southern accent. Part of the movie’s premise did bring back a great childhood memory, though. Cage’s character is a motorcycle stunt rider, as was his father before him. I did once see Evel Knievel perform live at King’s Island in Ohio. He jumped a lot of buses. I just remember I was young, really too short to see anything, and it was unseasonably cold, but it was very exciting nonetheless. Long story short good triumphed over evil in the end, so we may go see the sequel.

— 2 —

For the second time this month John called me from school because he’d “gotten a demerit”. The first time it was for talking in class. This time, just like last time, when I asked him what the demerit was for he half-covered the phone and called to his teacher, “What’s my demerit for?” Maybe I hadn’t had enough caffeine, but I thought he said “foreplay”. I asked again and he replied, “horseplay”. Either my hearing is going or this kid is really trying to yank his teacher’s chain. Mind you, it’s been the same teacher both times, and this is the same teacher who is unable to figure out how to use the online grading system the rest of the county uses, so all her students end up with surprises at the end of the grading period. Last term she evidently had so many complaints she recalculated everyone’s scores. John went up an entire letter grade. How long until school is out?

— 3 —

Note to self: Turn on lights in pantry before taking medications. Valium and Lasix are in the same size bottles and look alike in the dark. Mix them up and you’ll be asleep on your feet with swollen ankles or dehydrated with very tight neck muscles.

— 4 —

I found a fabulous consignment shop just two minutes from my house. It’s been there a year, I’d just never gotten around to going in. If you live in the Louisville area you have to check out Clothes Mentor on Hubbards Lane in the Kroger shopping center. High quality clothes, huge selection, spectacular prices. No more driving downtown for bargains!

— 5 —

The 7pm Ash Wednesday mass was packed, as usual. Services are held at so many different times throughout the day at all the Catholic churches and nearly all the hospitals that everyone can get their ashes, no matter their schedule. One of the things I’ve always loved about Louisville, even after living here 23 years, is that the people don’t hesitate to carry an obvious mark of their faith around all day. Doctors and nurses make rounds with ashes smeared on their foreheads, families roam Kroger and Target with ashen crosses and no one stares, and grocery stores and restaurants stock up on fish. People chat openly about what they’re giving up for Lent the way they’d talk about the finale of Downton Abbey – it’s part of our lives. I like that.

— 6 —

I went out to lunch (shrimp tacos!) with a friend this week and then we went shopping (at the new store I told you about) and found lots of cute clothes for her upcoming vacation, then we came back to my house so I could load her up with books for the trip. That’s my idea of a great afternoon. It’s almost as good as going on vacation myself. All I need is my CD of ocean sounds and some sand to put my toes in and I’m all set!

— 7 —

What’s the best way to end a busy week? Fish Fry! No cooking for me tonight

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Getting Ashes

Angie — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 12:55:37 +0000

I love Ash Wednesday. I love Lent. When I was going through RCIA in preparation for joining the Catholic Church many years ago Lent was such an intense, emotional time for all of us in the group that its magic still grips me. From fasting on Ash Wednesday and having my forehead marked with ashes from last Palm Sunday’s burned palms to the Easter Vigil I savor it all. The music of Lent touches some deep part of my soul.

Every year I try to give up something meaningful for Lent, something that will make a difference in my life and leave a void for God to fill. Last year I gave up caffeine, which was huge considering I was still getting up at 3:15 every morning for work. One year I gave up novels, my intention being that I would read more inspirational and self-help books. That was probably my most difficult year. One year I did “forty bags in forty days” as a way to clear the clutter from my home and my life. That went very well. This year I’m giving up all alcohol and sodas. I shouldn’t drink with the medications I’m on, anyway, and the diet sodas I drink are full of chemicals my body doesn’t need. I’ll replace them with water, and take a step towards improving my general health. It’s not a lot to give up, so I’m also setting aside extra time every day for prayer, and I’m going to attend the Stations of the Cross every other Friday.

And I have to admit, on a completely non-spiritual note, that I love a good fish fry

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The Highs and Lows of My Week (Somebody Pour Me a Drink!)

Angie — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 12:43:32 +0000

— 1 —

Last weekend I got a wonderful surprise. Aaron texted me that his fiance, Catherine, would be performing (with the Morehead State University Concert Choir) in downtown Louisville. I knew Michael wouldn’t be home from work in time to make it, so John and I were going to go alone. Just as we were heading out the door Aaron arrived! This ended up being a really good thing since I have no sense of direction and we’d have never made it to the actual location of the performance without Aaron (and Catherine’s mom talking us through the maze of the Convention Center via cell phone). Anyway, I got to hear Catherine perform for the first time since they’ve been in college, and it was wonderful! I’m looking forward to this Spring when I get to see her in Faust As a completely non-musical person anyone with serious musical talent seems magical to me. I just sit there, enthralled.

— 2 —

The weekend couldn’t be all fun and games, though, since we finally had all the paperwork in hand to start taxes. Michael, God bless him, does our taxes every year online, and does a marvelous job. I used to do our taxes way back when Michael didn’t have his own business, and it was a stressful event that necessitated me being completely alone in the house all day, with a bottle of wine chilling for when I was done. I hated it. And, as anyone with a college-aged child knows, taxes don’t just mean our taxes. They also mean Aaron’s taxes, and then the dreaded FAFSA. And since this has been such a complicated and unusual year financially I had no idea what to expect. It looks like everything’s going to be OK, though, so maybe I can avoid an ulcer until next year.

— 3 —

I’ve been trying to find some sort of physical activity I can do regularly for months now, and it’s been pretty disheartening how limited I am physically by my multiple spinal surgeries. I’d secretly hoped to start with brisk walking and eventually get back to running, which I used to love, but that’s obviously not going to happen. Yoga in any way, shape, or form isn’t going to work, either – my range of motion is just too limited by the fusions. My latest attempt has been tai chi, and I think I may have found a winner. And it’s calming, which is good.

— 4 —

Just to keep everything in perspective I got to worry for twenty-four hours about my youngest having a serious heart condition this week. We went to the pediatrician for a regular check-up, and while John was away from me (down the hall giving a urine sample) the staff convinced him to see a different doctor rather than his usual one. His usual doc is female, her new partner is male, John is thirteen. I was fine with it, although I’d have preferred if they’d have let me discuss it with John. After waiting for ninety minutes in the exam room an elderly gentleman came in, made a few jokes I probably would have laughed at if I hadn’t been so annoyed at the wait, and proceeded to do a very brief exam. By brief I mean he listened to John’s heart for about three seconds. Then he proceeded to tell me that John had a heart murmur and needed to see a pediatric cardiologist and have an echo. He obviously mistook my shocked silence for lack of understanding and started explaining to me what a murmur is. After I interrupted him and told him I’d been a cardiology nurse for 23 years the back-pedaling started. But you can’t un-ring that bell. So I called the best pediatric cardiology group in town while we were pulling out of the parking lot and left a message for their appointment scheduler to call me back (still haven’t heard from them, BTW). Thankfully, one of the adult cardiologists I’ve worked with for the past two decades was willing to take a listen to John the next day, so I pulled him out of school at noon and high-tailed it to the office. After a real exam he assured me all was well and no further workup was needed. You can bet I called my pediatrician’s office as soon as we got home, had them note the exam results in John’s chart, and told them we would never be seeing Dr. Poor-Assessment-Skills again.

— 5 —

I’m trying to take an online writing class this month, but it’s requiring a level of concentration I just can’t seem to maintain. How in the world can I analyze writing and write well myself when I can’t even find the candles I bought on sale last week at Hobby Lobby. I put them “in a safe place”, which means I will probably run across them in about six months.

— 6 —

When John was off school Monday I did manage to check something off my “Goals for 2012″ list. I watched Inception and (I think) understood it. Both the boys have been after me for months to watch it, telling me how good it is, but the bits and pieces I’d seen while they were watching and their descriptions had me totally befuddled. I kept John handy to pause the movie and answer questions should I need it, but I only had to check a couple of things with him. Really good movie, by the way. Just not one you can do anything else while you’re watching. I mean, like, not even eat popcorn.

— 7 —

Even though I swore after last season I wasn’t going to watch Real Housewives of Orange County ever again I’ve gotten sucked back in. I think I like the new housewife, and I’m sure I like her husband, who doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously even though he’s apparently a billionaire. Any man who runs late getting ready to go somewhere because he’s playing with his kids gets my vote. What I really want to happen is for Caroline from New Jersey to fly out there and set all those OC housewives straight. She’s like the Real Housewives honey badger, don’t you think?

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Ten Things I’m Superstitious About

Angie — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 12:37:24 +0000

1.) The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning or when I come home is check my phone messages and emails. If there’s bad news, I want to know about it as soon as possible. I’m one of those “pull the band-aid off fast” sorts of people.

2.) I say a little prayer before answering if a strange number shows up on my cell phone’s caller ID. I once got a call at work from an EMT telling my my husband had been in a wreck (was hit by a woman chatting on her cell phone going the wrong way down a one-way street) and his truck had been flipped upside down and he was en route to the hospital. He ended up being fine. But I’ll never answer an unknown number again without worrying.

3.) I keep this book handy. Just in case there’s a worldwide catastrophe and we have no access to current technology I will know how to butcher a hog, dig a well, and make soap.

(Just in case you’re superstitious like me)

4.) I keep this wig in the back of my closet:

It’s one my grandmother ordered many, many years ago and didn’t like, so she gave it to me. I think I was about thirty, and couldn’t imagine wearing a wig for any reason but one: cancer. So the wig has sat in its box in my closet for about fifteen years now and it will continue to sit there, because I am convinced that if I give it away I will need it. Yes, I realize I have issues.

5.) The words, “I have a surprise for you” strike terror into my heart. My body responds with an adrenaline rush as if someone had pointed a gun at me. I hate surprises, and there’s absolutely no reason for it. I just irrationally assume the surprise is something horrible.

6.) Boxed chocolates. Unless they have a little chart under the cover that says what each one is (and sometimes even then) I’m always sure I’ll get a coconut-filled one, which I find horribly disgusting. (Sorry, Mary Jo)

7.) After I lost my job in July when my FMLA ran out I had to go box up the stuff in my office and bring it home. I didn’t have that many things, so I was in and out fast, basically just grabbing my own copies of my resume and my professional certifications and the few family pictures I’d brought in. I was very emotional at that time and didn’t want to run into anyone. I haven’t unpacked that box. Maybe the next job I get I won’t need the Tums

8.) Like every other nurse I know, I never say anything like “I’m bored.” or “It’s really quiet.” Even at home I don’t say it, for fear of the full-out train wreck catastrophe that’s sure to follow.

9.) I fill up my gas tank when it hits the 1/4 mark. I’ve lived in the city for 25 years now, always with a gas station less than a mile from home, but when I was learning to drive I lived thirteen miles from the nearest gas station. Some habits you just can’t ever break.

10.) Everything in my car is secured in some bay – in a crate, in my Pinterest-inspired trashbag (sorry, I can’t find the pin, but it’s made out of a plastic cereal container), or in the console or glovebox. I flip out if my son is riding with me and just sits something in the floorboard or on the backseat. Actually, this superstition has a solid foundation, since I totalled a car because of a paperback book that found its way from under the driver’s seat (where it had probably been for months) to under my brake. Thankfully, I just hit a concrete wall in a parking garage, not another car, or, God forbid, a person crossing the street. But I’m not taking a chance on that happening ever again.

Priced at just $4.99, it is now available in every format your little heart could desire at Smashwords!

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Honey Badger Scarf

Angie — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 12:55:19 +0000

Seriously, I need to back away from Pinterest. Y’all know how I love the honey badger, and I found this on Pinterest the other day:

Source: etsy.com via Angie on Pinterest

The only thing that kept me from ordering several immediately was that it costs $200. Actually, I can see where that amount of work would totally make it worth $200, but since I haven’t won the lottery recently I decided I’d have to make my own version of the honey badger scarf. So, that very day, I raided my craft supplies cabinet, my children’s rooms, and the dogs’ toy box. Here’s what I came up with.

What is pictured here is a chewed-up stuffed bear (nose missing), an old gray fleece scarf, an ivory fleece scarf I spilled coffee on, various glues (I ended up only using the “tacky glue”), a green blanket that has seen too many Scout camping trips, a piece of black fur that served as a beard when John did a project on Abraham Lincoln in elementary school, some cording and batting I didn’t use, and replacement bear noses. We’d recently had a family heirloom bear mauled by the dogs, and they sell noses only in packs of three – who knew?

Then I went to Hobby Lobby, hoping to purchase some of those pre-made pipe-cleaner bumblebees. You know what I’m talking about, right? Well, no one else did, so this is what I bought:

Less than $3 worth of supplies, and I was ready to create. I made the bees first, so they could dry while I did the other stuff.

Big pom-pom, little pom-poms, white pipe cleaner, glue. Easy-peasy. The I gutted the poor stuffed bear, pulled out all his stuffing, and replaced his nose (noses and eyes are very easy to replace if you ever need to do so). Then I cut him in half and glued some brown pipe cleaners on for nasty-a$$ honey badger claws. This was the only part that didn’t work so well. He may have to be clawless if the hot glue gun experiment tomorrow doesn’t work. But that’s OK. While I was waiting for his claws to dry I cut out the snake, gave him eyes with a sharpie, and added a red pipe cleaner tongue for good measure. Once everything was dry I attached the snake with needle and thread. Non-sewing people can do this. It was only like three stitches.

Then I laid out the scarf, figured out where I wanted the front and back ends of the honey badger to be, and cut the ivory fleece scarf to fit to attach them. It’s just glued to the bear’s fur and the gray scarf, but I did put a couple of stitches through all three layers (both scarfs and the bear) at two spots on the front end and two spots on the rear end because even without stuffing this bear was a bit heavy. Oh, and I cut Abe’s beard into a honey badger tail and glued that on, too. Then I glued the bees on wherever I thought they looked nice. I glued the snake’s head to the scarf, but left his tail flopping around. Here’s the finished product:

For $3 and less time than it takes to watch a DVRd episode of Real Housewives of Orange County I think it turned out pretty well!
* UPDATE: After drying overnight the claws were attached quite sturdily
I’ll be linking up to Oh, How Pinteresting, The 52 Weeks of Pinterest Challenge, Works for Me Wednesday, Whatever Goes Wednesday, The Mommy Club Resources and Solutions.Something I Whipped Up, CraftoManiac Monday, Making the World Cuter Monday, Made by You Monday, Share Your Awesome, One Project at a Time, Tute Tuesdays, and Ta Da Tuesday.

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Faith in the Unseen

Angie — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 13:14:09 +0000

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for,

the evidence of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1

This is exactly what I mean when I say my faith has grown over the past year. I have faith that things will somehow work out for me health-wise and that our family will make it through whatever financial hurdles may still be to come. This time of year is my least favorite – everything looks dead, with no evidence that Spring will ever come. But I know it will, and that hope, that faith (and the Reece’s peanut butter eggs already in the grocery store) keep me going

What prayer or scripture has inspired you this week? Drop by Saints and Scripture Sunday, Scripture and a Snapshot, Sunday Snippets, Spiritual Sundays, Hear it on Sunday, Playdates with God,Word Filled Wednesdays, Walk With Him Wednesdays, iFellowship, Planting Mustard Seeds, Good Morning Girls, and Journeys of Faith Fridays to share!

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Ham, Eggs, and Hominy

Angie — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 12:12:01 +0000

Sorry for the monochromatic picture. If I hadn't been so hungry I'd have taken time to find a more colorful plate.

This is comfort food at its finest. Breakfast for supper, brunch on a lazy weekend day. The best part is this isn’t so much a recipe as a technique. All you need are the ingredients in the title: ham, eggs, and hominy.

Today I used some of a honey-baked, spiral-sliced ham I bought on sale after Christmas and froze. I should have pulled it apart and frozen it in smaller portions, but I didn’t so we’ll be eating a lot of ham this week. It’s also wonderful with thick ham steaks, which go on sale regularly at my local grocery. The eggs are fried eggs: over-easy, so the yolks are nice and runny. Hominy, for those of you not familiar with it, is sold canned in the vegetable aisle near the corn. I’m not talking about hominy grits, I’m talking about whole-kernel white hominy.

Just heat the hominy in a saucepan, heat the sliced ham in a skillet, and fry the eggs in a skillet or on a griddle. Pile them all on a plate, then cut everything up and mix it together until it’s a big, delicious mess. Season with salt and pepper to taste, and make plans for a nap afterwards.

I’ll be linking up this week to Works for Me Wednesday, Whatever Goes Wednesday, The Mommy Club Resources and Solutions, The Grocery Cart Challenge Recipe Swap, and Tastetastic Thursday.

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Need to Escape the Winter Blahs? Here’s Your Book!

Angie — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 22:40:32 +0000

So cold. Metal pierced Alexander’s abdomen before he could utter a word of protest. The lighting of the bright crimson flames that ate away houses and street signs blurred into an ominous wavering dance of embers.

How’s that for a hook?

One of the many wonderful things about Kenny, my Kindle, is that he has encouraged me to branch out and select books from genres I don’t usually read. I’d read mainly commercial women’s fiction for so long, and I was missing so many treasures. I recently read a fantasy/sci-fi book called The Genesis Saga: Awakening The Genesis Saga: Awakening " target="_blank" class="broken_link">Awakening. It’s the first in The Genesis Saga, and let me tell you, I can’t wait for the second book to come out!

I won’t give away the plot line (I hate spoilers), but I will tell you not to make any plans once you download this book. Laundry piled up, dinner was frozen pizza, and the house was a mess until I finished it. The characters are well-developed and compelling, it’s fast-paced, and the plot had just enough twists, turns, and surprises to keep me from putting it down – but not so many I got confused. The setting and dialogue were so natural I felt completely immersed in the world of The Genesis Saga. There’s nothing I hate more than stilted dialogue unless it’s poor character development. Yes, I’m picky about my books and there are several best-selling authors I refuse to read for exactly those reasons.

Ian Eviston did a spectacular job with this, his first novel, and as soon as I finished it I posted to his Facebook wall asking when the next book would be available. Would it be inappropriate to send him a copy of Misery to motivate him? Yeah, I guess that might be a bit stalker-ish. In the meantime I’ll just chat with my kids about what they think might happen next. My twenty-year-old finished the book before I did, and it’s entirely appropriate reading for my thirteen-year-old as well, so he’s next up. The link above is for the Amazon version, but here’s a link for you Nook fans: Awakening

I love finding a new author I enjoy, especially when it means a new series. What are you guys reading lately? Are you reading the same genre as usual, or are you branching out? I’m linking up this week to Share Your Awesome, because I want to get the word out about this fabulous new author!

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Why Everyone Needs to Learn to Say “No, I Can’t.”

Angie — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 15:31:48 +0000

Last night I watched the entire Superbowl for, I think, the first time ever. I’m not a football fan in general, and normally on Superbowl Sunday I have to get up at 3am the next morning to go to work. This year I don’t have a job, though, so I stayed up and watched the game, the commercials, and, yes, Madonna’s half-time show. Why don’t I have a job? Because when it came time for me to go back to work after my fourth cervical spine surgery in three years (think Peyton Manning times two) I said, “No, I can’t”. I was still in constant pain, pain severe enough that I often couldn’t think clearly. Pain that necessitated narcotic pain meds and sedating muscle relaxers around the clock. I’m a nurse. Going back to work would mean making decisions regarding patient care that could cost someone their life if I was having a bad day pain-wise. I wanted to go back. I wanted to support my family financially, make sure we had health insurance and other benefits, and lead a normal, productive life. Now the job I had has been split into two jobs (yeah, I worked pretty hard) and since the pain still hasn’t improved I’m not sure that I will ever be able to work as a nurse again. That’s hard to come to terms with. Just the possibility that I can’t do it anymore.

So I understand why Madonna didn’t say, “No, I can’t” when she was asked to perform the half-time show at the Superbowl. But she should have. Because she couldn’t do it. She lip-synched the entire show, seemed lost on some of the choreography, and sometimes even appeared to be having trouble walking in those high-heeled boots. Yes, she’s fifty-three, and she looks great. She hit big when I was in high school, so I’m as much a fan as anyone, and I know most of her older songs by heart. But it would have been okay for her to say, “You know what? I’m fifty-three, and I just can’t perform on that level anymore.” To graciously bow out and let a younger performer or group actually perform last night. I was following Twitter while I watched the game (Thanks, Fadra, for sending me the link to the Clint Eastwood commercial that I missed!) and although there were several “Best halftime show ever – I love Madonna!” tweets, most people were disappointed and disturbed. Yes, those songs brought back good memories for me, too, but I could have gotten the same experience from blowing the dust off an old Madonna CD and playing it. She wasn’t performing.

It’s okay to age gracefully. To realize that there comes a time when you can’t do all the things you once did. I don’t expect Madonna to be able to perform the way she did thirty years ago, and it makes me sad that she evidently expects to be able to, or thinks society expects that of her. Can’t we just appreciate ourselves and others for who we are and what we are able to do right now?

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