It only makes sense, I mean, why else would they scream like pterodactyls in child care at the YMCA  and force the poor, deaf child care workers to come haul me out of a class only 15 minutes in?

Because they like being able to run circles around me.

I mean come on!  Doesn’t it make perfect sense to you?

“Mom is fat and can’t keep up with our crazy energy.  Man, this ROCKS!”

Upon Mom renewing her Y Membership:

“Balls!  Mom’s going to try to get fit again!  We can’t let this happen.  IF we let this happen, she’ll be able to keep up with us and then we won’t be able to wreak as much havoc on her life, therefore our lives will become increasingly dull and uneventful.  No more watching Mom clean food up off of the living room floor while we do back flips off of her forehead while juggling steak knives with one hand!”

They then concoct an evil scheme that works EVERY time.

They scream.

And scream.

AND scream.

AND SCREAM.

while in the care of others so that I cannot work out for longer than 15 minutes….

Until I’m sick and tired of putting in the effort of getting them into the car, taking them out of the car; signing them, kicking and screaming, into the kid fit area, only to get to work out for 15 minutes.  That’s JUST long enough to break a sweat.

What’s WITH these people, anyways?!  Can’t handle a screaming kid?  Then perhaps you’re in the wrong industry.

How the HELL is a mom supposed to have some “me” time if her kids won’t let her out of their sight?

After this happened tonight, my eyes were bulging out of my head in absolute anger, and I wanted to drag them back to the car caveman-style.  I refrained from being so barbaric but I really am at my breaking point with these little buttholes.

Don’t they realize that if Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy?

Especially when “vacation” isn’t really a vacation because instead of it being a “vacation” it’s more of a “familycation” where you go stay with family in order to visit them in a familiar city.

A far cry from hiking up a snow-capped mountain in uncharted territory.

And vacation never seems to go the way you plan it.  Like our last vacation lasted a couple of days longer than we thought it was going to so it took us even that much longer to get back home and resettle into our routines.  Grady wasn’t sleeping through the night any more because, you know, when you stay in someone else’s house you can’t just let them cry.

But good things DO happen when you leave your own home.

1.  When you return, you realize that despite being 2 years old, your house still smells brand new and not like the poop-crusted diaper that you swear it smells like every day of your life.

2.  You love your extended family so much that you’re willing to spend your time “off” with them instead of alone on top of a mountain.

3.  You find things you weren’t able to find in your own little podunk village/town thing like Milk Bone Trail Mix and PupPeroni Mix Stix.

I have the best neighbors on the face of the planet.  I really mean that.  I couldn’t have better neighbors if I paid them.  The great thing is that I don’t have to pay them.  I just have phenomenal neighbors.

I currently pick my neighbor’s boys up from school 3 days a week and when their gramma isn’t staying with them, I watch them for a few hours those days.

I know, I sound like a saint, right?  But that doesn’t even come close to what they do for us.

Styles practically lives at their house.  I often joke that I should just pay them child support for entertaining and feeding his skinny little white butt.

But, you see, Styles prefers their cooking to mine because they’re from Laos and they cook just like they still live there.  Styles has apparently told them that he’s going to marry an Asian woman when he grows up because he loves the food.

Awesome.

They also take him to the pool where he tries to pretend that he’s brown and from Laos too, where the reality lies in the fact that he’s very much an American white boy who burns after 10 minutes in the sun.

They let him crash birthday parties with him, take him to movies, take him bowling, and to sports activities that he’s not involved in.

They do SO much for him, which in turn really does do so much for me that I can’t ever thank them enough.  Because I have the babies, I can’t do nearly for them what they do for me and while I hate that, I had been searching for a way to pay them back.

Then one night it dawned on me:  I could smother their fur-baby with some love so I decided to put together a care package for their dog, Boudicca.  This is the same dog I taught a trick to back in January.  And the same dog who ate my blinds while her family was on vacation a year ago, but we won’t talk about that.  ;)

I heard that Milk-Bone had some new treats out, and so did Pup-Peroni.  Something with EGG in it!  Who doesn’t love EGG?!

The next day, I picked the boys up from school and I decided to brave Walmart with 5 children to find Boudicca some new treats and toys.

The boys were extremely helpful in our venture.

No, really!  They were!

I immediately found Milo’s Kitchen Homestyle Treats which Boudicca loved back in January.  I let Ben pick which flavor he thought she’d like and he chose the Beef Jerky.

Collin picked out the best toy EVER.  This thing is so incredibly soft that I want to rub it all over my face.  The head is a hard, bouncy ball and the tail has a squeaker in it.  CUTE!

Styles tried SO hard to find Milk-Bone Trail Mix and Pup-Peroni Mix Stix at our Walmart but he couldn’t find it ANYWHERE.  We were so bummed and I really wanted the trifecta of delicious new dog treats in Boudicca’s care package so I left it at that and decided that I’d look for those treats in Orlando while we were visiting family.  SURELY Orlando would have what Pooler does not.

While we were in Orlando, we ran to Walmart to check for the treat and guess what?  We FOUND them at the College Park Walmart up the street from my mom’s house.  I was so thankful to have found them!

So when we got back in town, I dragged my butt.  I unloaded our clothes.  I washed laundry.  I started working out.  And I dragged my butt some more.  Then when Styles got to go see “The Avengers” this past weekend, I figured I should probably get the care package to Boudicca before another day passed!

Here’s a look at what we got for her:

And you can see that Boudicca was very excited to have some yummy delicious snacks.

I hope she loves her new toys as much as Styles loves hanging out with the family!

She’s obviously loving the Pup-Peroni Mix Stix:

For a barking good time, check out Milk Bone on Facebook & follow #ILuvMyK9 on Twitter

I am a member of the Collective Bias™ Social Fabric® Community.  This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias™. #CBias #SocialFabric  All thoughts and opinions are, as always, my very own and were not influenced in any way.

Odwalla (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am always so excited to give back to the community and nothing makes me feel better than helping someone in need, which is why I was so excited when Collective Bias, Champions for Kids, and Odwalla put together a sports equipment donation drive.  I had the fantastic idea of mobilizing Styles’ 5th grade classroom into donating to the cause.

Then I got sick.

Really sick.

I sent in a flyer to go home with all the children but I wasn’t able to go into the classroom and pump everyone up without the huge possibility of passing along the bubonic plague to the entire 5th grade.  The flyers went home and I went in several days later to pick up the donated sports equipment.

But there was none.

I was so sad.  I bought tennis balls, a tennis racket, and a t-ball bat that came with a ball for Styles and I to donate, but I was so excited to be able to drive up to the boys and girls club with a van full of sports equipment from the Godley Station 5th grade, but there was nothing else to donate.

As disappointed as I am, I understand that times are hard right now.  We live in a very depressed part of the country and things are tough for many people.  I also know how 5th grade kids are about showing their parents what is in their backpack at the end of the day.

But it doesn’t stop me from being disappointed.

I chose to donate to The Boys and Girls Club because when I was a little girl, my sister and I spent summers at the Girls Club of Alachua County, Florida.  Our counselor’s name was Wayne and he was one of the funniest guys I’d ever met.  We used to go roller skating, to the public pool which was HUGE and had an amazing slide, and on other fun excursions.  I met some great friends there and have some wonderful memories.  While I’m in a different city now, I wanted to honor a club that helped shape who I am today.

We were just a little younger than this when we spent summers at the Girls Club

So I went alone today to the Boys and Girls Club to donate what little I had and guess what?  They were so humble and so excited to receive ANYTHING.

When I got home to write this post, I realized that my camera didn’t have a memory card in it that entire time.  I called the representative at the B&G Club and she laughed with me then agreed to meet up so that we could take some mock photos this week so PLEASE stay tuned for pictures of some very happy and humble individuals receiving some serious tennis equipment.

SO since nobody here wanted to get involved, I’m calling you, my wonderful readers to GET INVOLVED in your community!  Give time, give sports equipment, give whatever you can – large or small!  And please join Champions for Kids on Facebook and Twitter to mobilize yourself and your family.

Happy volunteering!

This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias. #CBias  All opinions and camera misfortunes are my own.

Related articles

• Game Day Challenge ~ Odwalla Champions For Kids #OdwallaCFK #CBias(thegunnysack.com)

  ---

• Odwalla Champion For Kids Simple Service Project #CBias #OdwallaCFK(behindthestudio.com)

  ---

• A Tribute to Papa – a SIMPLE Service Project (bananahammocksandtutus.com)

One of our favorite companies to purchase from is Annie’s Homegrown.  The kids absolutely love the little bunny crackers, and when they want mac & cheese, the only thing that I’ll feed them is Annie’s.  So when Moms Meet asked me to review Annie’s pizza, I jumped at the chance.  Madilyn and Styles LOVE pizza, and most of the families that I know who are not Ancestral Eaters, love pizza as well.  It’s often difficult to find a pizza product that you can feel good about feeding to your children so I knew that several of my mommy friends would be excited to sample this with me.

The Workaholic even paused to enjoy some pizza on his way out the door.

In lieu of hosting a giveaway here at Banana Hammocks & Tutus, I held a party for some local mommies and I served Annie’s Organic Frozen Pizza to get their take on it.   Plus, I wanted to treat them because the vouchers for the pizza were for Whole Foods and we don’t have a Whole Foods in Savannah!  As it were, I traveled to Orlando, FL last weekend and was able to visit my old Whole Foods to pick the pizza up and bring it home with me.  (I found out at my party that Savannah is getting a Whole Foods – FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

ANYways…Some of my friends gathered today to taste this culinary symphony of flavors.  I never have high expectations for frozen pizza, but I always have high expectations for Annie’s products.  You can see how this leaves me in a bit of a lurch!

The pizzas looked a little small to me, they are 11.5″ in diameter, but they had rising crusts so I was hoping that they would puff up a little bit once they were cooked.  The Whole Foods that I went to only had the Organic Uncured Pepperoni and Organic Spinach & Mushroom pizzas so I got one Uncured Pep and 2 Organic Spinach and Mushroom.

I hadn’t even considered the fact that the spinach pizza would have a cream based sauce but when it came out of the oven, it was garlicky-and delicious smelling.  The pepperoni also smelled delicious.  The crust had puffed up nicely and had a beautiful brown tint.

I sliced the pizza and stuck them on the table for all to eat.

After cooling off for about 10 minutes, we were finally able to chow down.

I was floored at how smooth the crust was.  Does that sound strange?  It was velvety and smooth and the toppings were delicious.  I never expect many toppings on a frozen pizza but the toppings were definitely generous.  The cream sauce on the Spinach Mushroom pizza was smooth and flavorful but didn’t overpower the tomato, spinach, and mushroom on the pizza.  The Pepperoni pizza was phenomenal.  My kids LOVED it and the uncured pepperoni was very obviously of a superior quality.  Now, I don’t know about your children but mine never, EVER eat pizza crust.  Well…they didn’t eat pizza crust until today.  They killed this pizza, crust and all.  I couldn’t believe it.

The other moms at my shindig agreed.  The quality was obviously really high, the crust was delicious, the toppings were generous, it was what we all expected out of an Annie’s product.   I enjoyed it much more than most delivery pizzas and I can honestly say that I’ve never tasted a frozen pizza as good as these.

I don’t think I’m the only mom from today who will be recommending Annie’s Organic Frozen Pizza to her friends.

Disclaimer:  I received this product for free from the sponsor of the Moms Meet program, May Media Group LLC, who received it directly from the manufacturer.  As a Moms Meet blogger, I agreed to use this product and post my opinion on my blog.   My opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinions of May Media Group LLC or the manufacturer of the product.

Then came the day that we drove back to Savannah.  I caved.  I thought, “Just one.”

You’re laughing, aren’t you?

Two rows of yellow and pink Easter Peeps, made by Just Born. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I bit the head off of the pink rabbit and swallowed it whole.  Then, looking around cautiously to make sure nobody was watching, I inhaled the butt-half.  It was so soft and succulent and I was SO ticked off at myself for not enjoying it that I ate another one.

And then another one.

And then another one.

And then my mom (who went Paleo 3 months ago) came outside and nearly busted me.

I took an enormous swig of water and pretended like I had something stuck in my teeth.

And that’s all it took for the blood sugars to take control of my brain.

They camped out in the frontal lobe of my brain where their voices spoke loudly and consumed my inner Cavewoman.  I’m pretty sure those blood sugars tied her up and hid her in the back of a cave somewhere.  She was completely silenced.

The Peeps turned into chocolate which turned into Smarties which turned into Popeye’s Chicken which turned into jelly beans (I don’t even LIKE jelly beans) which turned into goldfish crackers which turned into a Chik-Fil-A Milkshake which turned into an exhausted and moody Mama.

The day before yesterday, we ran out of candy (Thank you, Holy God).

Yesterday I wanted SOMETHING terrible for me but I resisted.  I ate raisins instead.  Today I’m making “Anytime Cookies” and “Pumpkin Pucks” from The Paleo Parent’s AH-MAZING new cookbook, “Eat Like a Dinosaur”.  If I’m going to eat something sweet, I need for it to be grain- and sugar-free.

I can’t believe that I made it through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and 2 deaths in our families with lots of out-of-state travel without screw-ups this bad.

Then the freaking EASTER BUNNY comes for a visit and I cave to sugar-coated marshmallows!

At least I’m not completely disgusted with myself.  I still fit into my jeans, I’m just hurting physically from my screw ups.  But there’s always today.  And today, The Workaholic is home to ensure my blood sugars don’t hold me hostage any longer.

One more week and I’ll have those nasty little demons tied up and shoved into a recess in the depths of my brain once again.

God, help me the next 7 days.

started off as a 10 item list but because it was so stinking long, I broke it into two parts.  You are graced today with Part 2.  This one is sure to knock a few socks off.

“Bad Parenting” Technique #6:  No Doctor is (sometimes) the Best Doctor

I don’t go running to the doctor every time my kids get runny noses or fevers.  I realize that the body has natural defenses in place to rid itself of viruses and bacteria.  I allow the body ample time to prove to me that it can do what it is made to do before running to the first doctor in the phone book.  I look to natural remedies before making antibiotics my go-to cure-all.  I am so proud of the body’s ability to heal itself and I love seeing it in action.

Now don’t get me wrong.  When Grady was up at 1am barking like a seal and heaving difficult breaths, I was at the ER in a heartbeat.  But for the normal, hum drum runny nose or fever?  We stay home and get lots of fluids and cuddles in.

“Bad Parenting” Technique #7:  No Milk is the Best Milk

Grady is still breastfed and he is 13 months old.  I don’t plan on weaning him any time soon.  Madilyn has massive constipation issues (we’re talking Turd of the Century), and cow’s milk complicates them so we don’t drink it.

We have Almond milk and coconut milk but no dairy.

“HOW DO THEY GET THEIR CALCIUM?!”

Welp, almond milk has more calcium than dairy milk and is just generally healthier.  My kids get my milk, almond milk, coconut milk, or no milk at all.

“THEN WHAT ELSE DO THEY DRINK?”

Water.

Chew on this:  We are the only species of animal that drinks the milk of another animal.  Gwoss.

“Bad Parenting” Technique #8:  Let Them Watch TV!

The TV is perpetually on at my house.  My husband is obsessed and Madilyn likes the background noise.  She doesn’t sit in front of the TV and constantly watch it, but even while she’s playing, she enjoys hearing her “shows”.  Their night time routine consists of a bath then 30 minutes with Sprout.  At noon we watch Caillou for an hour.  EVERY.  STINKING.  DAY.  Mommy needs to get something done around the house?  Let them eat cake.  Er…I mean…watch TV.

“Bad Parenting” Technique #9:  Body Art is A-OK

I have 4 tattoos, The Workaholic has 1.  One is on my foot, I have an enormous tree on my left side/rib cage, kanji for “Summer” on my left shoulder, and the big dipper on my foot.  I can’t very well tell my kids to not draw all over themselves with markers, can I?  This leads me to follow the “lead by example” form of parenting.  It doesn’t always work out that way but if Madilyn does or says something naughty and I know I’ve done or said the same thing, I don’t jump down her throat.

Sharpie all over your body?  My bad.  Hope you had fun!  Now where can I put those markers where they can’t find them?

“Bad Parenting” Technique #10:  I Discipline My Children

*GASP*  I use all forms of discipline.  Nothing cruel and unusual, but I use all forms.  Time out is Madilyn’s favorite.  Swatting her rear end lightly, really gets her attention and all I have to do is ask her, “What happens when you don’t listen?”  She generally stops whatever she’s doing immediately.

Yeah.  I said swatting.  Call it what you will.  Spanking.  Tapping.  Abuse.  Fear mongering.  Whatever.  I’m the parent of my own kids.  It is my duty to discipline (Definition:  training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character) as I see fit.

My mom spanked me.  Did I like it?  Nope.

Did I fear her?  I feared the consequences of my actions when I messed up, sure.

Did I feel as though she didn’t love me?  No.  Spanking was always followed up by a heart-to-heart talk, just as it is in our home now.

Was spanking effective for me?  Yes.  I was rarely spanked and I always thought about the consequences of my actions before I did anything.

Do I fear her now?  No.  As a matter of fact, we have an open and honest relationship and she is one of my closest friends now that I am also an adult.

We also practice grounding, eliminating fun time, taking things away, etc…  Styles loves his laptop, DSi, and XBox more than words.  When he makes bad choices, his rights to those things are removed for prescribed periods of time.  You may argue that it doesn’t teach him anything but I would tell you that you’re wrong.

I’ve actually had parents tell me that you can’t call something a “gift” if you are going to “use” it against your children in the future.

I call another BS.

Real-life consequences for real-life mistakes.

If you slack off at your job, you will lose it.  Why is it so difficult for parents to realize that we’re not our children’s FRIENDS?  We’re their PARENTS.   We have been blessed with the task of teaching them how to manage this life the best way we know how.  That means teaching them right from wrong and doling out consequences where consequence is due.

SO.  There you have it.  I’m a bad parent.  And for all you other swatting parents out there, high five.

Clearly she hates me.

While I welcome friendly debate in my comments, rude and intolerant comments will be removed.

Related articles

• “Bad Parenting” Techniques That I Practice Daily: Part 1 (bananahammocksandtutus.com)
• Why I Linger in Bed (bananahammocksandtutus.com)
• Migraine Milkshakes (bananahammocksandtutus.com)

I hope not a single one of you raised so much as a fingernail.

I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to be.  I am learning just like the next parent, and one of the biggest lessons that I have taken away from parenthood is that each child is different, which means that I have to parent each child differently.

For me, that means that Styles responds well to praise and negatively to constructive criticism.  Madilyn responds well to…nothing.  And Grady seems to respond to a slightly raised voice and redirection.  Styles was sleeping through the night at 2 months, Madilyn was crying herself to sleep until about 6 months ago, and Grady is still up a few times a night after 2 weeks of sleeping through the night.

Did you hear that?

I heard a loud, resounding gasp for air from all of the NON-Cry-it-Out parents out there.  You know the ones!  The ones who swear that your child’s brain cells are depleted by the millions with every tear they shed.

I call BS.

There is a difference between a child who is scared for their lives screaming, and a child who is pissed off that she has to be in her bed instead of joining the party in the living room.

There is a difference between letting a newborn cry, and a child who is one or older.

Kids are STUBBORN and guess what?  They don’t know what’s best for themselves.  Staying up with Mom and Dad until midnight is WAY more fun than going to bed at 8.  But as my children’s parent, I know that they need their sleep for positive brain and physical development.

So that brings me to:

 ”Bad Parenting” Technique #1: Crying it out:

We tried everything with Madilyn including nursing her to sleep then laying her down, rocking her to sleep, letting her stay up, letting her sleep with us, and crying it out (within reason).  What worked for her?

Crying.

If you took Madilyn in any of the scenarios that I listed above. she was screaming in anger as soon as you put her in bed.  She could wake up from a deep sleep to tell you how pissed off she was that you weren’t going to let her stay up with you.  We finally realized that after telling us through her cries (because that’s how babies communicate), that she was mad at us, she would quiet down after about 15 minutes and fall soundly to sleep where she would sleep until 3am for a quick nurse.    I know many parents in the Attachment Parenting circles would never admit this in public.  I just did so you don’t have to.

That same scenario doesn’t work for Grady.  He will cry frantically all night long if you let him so I go in to him when he wakes up and I pat his butt until he falls back to sleep.

Different child.  Different parenting.  Does that mean that I’m not an Attachment Parent?  Nope.  It means that I’m an Intuitive Parent and I parent my children according to their own individual needs, not my own ideals.

“Bad Parenting” Technique #2:  Not Changing a Dirty Diaper IMMEDIATELY

Grady takes about 30 minutes to empty his bowels.  If you change his diaper immediately upon smelling a little turd, that time is extended to about 90 minutes.  If you just let the kid poop and hang out in it for about 30 minutes, he will empty his bowels in short spurts over the course of a half an hour.  If you change him as soon as you smell a turd, you will change approximately 4 diapers over the course of an hour and a half.

I’d rather let him finish his biznezz than change 4 poopy diapers, what say you?

Change Me?

“Bad Parenting” Technique #3:  Body Parts & Their Names

I took a Psychology of Human Sexuality in college and the one thing that REALLY stuck with me was to call your children’s privates by their anatomical names.  This removes any confusion and shame associated with private parts.  A penis is a penis.  A vagina is a vagina.  That is what they are and there is nothing dirty about those names.  Madilyn knows that she has a vagina and that Daddy, Styles, and Grady have penises.  There’s nothing nasty or sexual about her saying those things, she’s just calling a rose a rose, you read?

“Bad Parenting” Technique #4:  Independent Play

I let my kids play independently.  A lot.  I am not up their rear ends all day long, though sometimes they are up mine.  I allow them to play in the play room or in Madilyn’s room.  I let Styles play in his room and use his imagination without interference.  I don’t use flash cards on my 2 year old to teach her the alphabet and I don’t insist that she learn to read or do mathematical equations at this age.  At the age of two, anything that they are taught is strictly memorization.  Your kid can read? Your 2 year old knows their alphabet by sight?  It doesn’t impress me.  Let me bust out a book that they’ve NEVER seen with nary a picture and then we’ll talk about toddlers reading.

I know I sound harsh, I’m just being honest.

Playing Independently

There are other parents out there like me who feel inadequate because of all of the kids around them who know their alphabet and small words by sight.  Forget them, my friends.  Forget them.  All of our children will catch up by 1st grade.

I think that at this age, independent play is extremely important.  Styles played independently and didn’t know his alphabet by sight until he was in VPK at the age of 4.  He also cried it out for a few nights before he could sleep through the night.  Guess what?  He’s in the gifted program, consistently scores “above average” on state tests, doesn’t have to study one iota to get an “A” in a class, and is a relatively well-rounded kid.  So for us?  Independent play it is.

“Bad Parenting” Technique #5: Let Them Get Hurt

Yeah, you heard me right.  Let them get hurt.  How on earth will they ever learn what NOT to do if you don’t let them make mistakes?  I mean that in emotional terms and physical terms.  When Grady is running down our slanted driveway, on the verge of falling flat on his face, I let him fall.  How else will he learn to be more cautious?  When Styles would rather play than work on his science fair project, I let him play so that he learns how much it hurts to cram your project into one weekend.  How else will he learn to have time management?

And when my kids hurt themselves physically, you can bet I’m in the background clapping my hands and screaming, “YAAAAAAYY!!!!” instead of running to their aid.  Teaching them to act dramatically when something bad happens just sets them up for relationship and work failure in the future.

Call me stony.  It’s what I do.

I have 5 more “Bad Parenting” Techniques that will be continued tomorrow.

What “Bad Parenting” Techniques do you practice?

Related articles

• Why I Linger in Bed (bananahammocksandtutus.com)
• Migraine Milkshakes (bananahammocksandtutus.com)
• How This is Going to Go Down (bananahammocksandtutus.com)

I don’t volunteer as much as I would like to but I do what I can and I jump at every opportunity to provide a need where need is needed.  Needy need.

Odwalla

I was extremely honored when Champions for Kids and Collective Bias asked me to partner with Odwalla to do an unused sports equipment drive.  I decided that I would ask Styles’ class to donate unused sports equipment in exchange for a pizza and Odwalla juice party.  His class is on spring break this week but they are excited to bring some sports equipment to school next week so that we can party hard!  Champions for Kids is an organization that I have worked with before on a Stocking Stuffer program so I know that they are a reputable organization that I am proud to work with.

I will be donating the equipment to benefit the Boys and Girls Club of the Coastal Empire.

I personally went to Walmart yesterday and purchased 1 tennis racket, 1 sack of tennis balls, and a tee-ball bat that came with a ball.  I also purchased some Odwalla Superfood Antioxidant juice.  It’s green and absolutely amazing.  We actually drink that juice in our home and my children love it, so I knew exactly where to find it in the refrigerated section near the orange juice.

I had the great fortune to be with one of my bestest friends in the world and she accompanied me to Walmart to pick out our wares.  I couldn’t have done it without her because I’m not the brightest bulb in the bunch and I couldn’t figure out what kids would get the most use out of.  We had a fantastic time reminiscing about old times where we really didn’t care for one another and then conspired to take over the world with our charm and tennis ball sacks.

If you’ve been reading here for a while, you should be familiar with my struggles as an effective housekeeper.  Juggling three children with the blog, my new business, and keeping the house is not an act that I’m primed for.  I feel like all I freaking do is run after the babies and clean up behind them while they are off in another room creating chaos.  Promoting my new business and writing here at Banana Hammocks & Tutus have recently gone by the wayside due to The Workaholic’s belief that I could keep a much more tidy house.  Then he would walk in the door to a CLEAN but chaotic home.  I personally think that, that just comes with the territory of having three extremely energetic and stubborn children.  Say what you will, but until you have three children who all come from parents who have ADHD, and then you can talk.

Anywho…

I was completely totally excited when I found out about National NO HOUSEWORK DAY.  PERFECT!  One day devoted to having an excuse to not do housework.  The Workaholic can finally see what it means to truly not do anything around the house.

Then my bubble was completely popped when I realized that I would be in Orlando staying with my in-laws and visiting my mom.  My mom and mother-in-law are both meticulous housekeepers.  My mother-in-law, Janice swears that her house wasn’t so tidy when her 3 children were small and she often tells me that she doesn’t know how I do it.  Truthfully, I don’t even know myself.  My mom was always a neurotic house cleaner.  Our rooms had to be perfection and the house always looked like a museum exhibit.  It also smelled amazing but I don’t know how she did it.  Maybe because my earliest memories are from when I was a bit older than the babies are right now.  Or maybe she was just Superwoman.  I just don’t know.  It seems as though The Workaholic only remembers a time when his childhood home was always clean and orderly, but his mom tells me otherwise. I’m going to just believe that my mom was NOT stashing boots and a cape somewhere in her closet and did, in fact, go through a difficult cluttered phase.

Please hold while I go change a poopy diaper.

OK I’m back and on with my story:

I decided that while in Orlando, I would accost both my mom and mother-in-law and hold both of them hostage for the entire No Housework Day; Saturday, April 7 so that neither of them could get any housework done.

4 Generations

We started the day off by going to my grandma’s Assisted Living Facility for an Easter egg hunt.  It was so wonderful to see my grandma, even though she didn’t know who I was.  She told me that I looked beautiful and that my shirt was very nice.  I was shocked that she could even form the sentence to tell me that and it made me beam with pride.  After the hunt, my in-laws went their separate way and I went shopping with my mama.  Janice promised that she was just going home to cook for Easter and that no housework would be done.  I don’t know, though.  When I got back to their house, it was still pretty tidy.  Maybe that’s just because they don’t have babies running all over the place leaving trails of crumbs and rogue Mega Blocks pieces?

Nursing in JCPenney instead of vacuuming

The shopping excursion with my mama and sister was fun!  I got a new pair of jeans that actually fit well and a new cotton dress that I can’t get enough of.  I want to live in this thing.  Seriously.

TCBY Grocery

After our trip to the mall, I wanted to run to the store to get some froyo to celebrate our collective housework ban.  I found a Walmart near by and ran in while my mom waited out in the van with the babies who were both sound asleep.  I perused the ice cream aisle and saw some yummy deliciousness but settled upon some TCBY treats.  Are you KIDDING ME?!  TCBY has moved on to the frozen aisle at my friendly local Walmart?  I was stoked.  When we were younger, and before we moved to Alaska, we would go to TCBY once a week for a treat.  We often rode our bikes there and I always got the same thing:  White Chocolate Mousse.  I thought it tasted like Lucky Charms.  I dug through the cooler and couldn’t find White Chocolate Mousse so I got some chocolate bars which are like an adult version of Fudgesicles, and a pint of English Toffee Crunch.  I figured my mom and I would dig on the chocolate bars and that Janice would like the toffee since her favorite candy bar is a Heath.

Yummy Deliciousness!

I grabbed my wares, along with some beautiful hydrangeas, and checked out.  Now get this:  I had parked at the very back of the parking lot so that the babies could sleep and I high-tailed it into and out of the store.  My legs were SO stinking sore afterwards that I was concerned about my ability to bust my groove thing on the dance floor later that night.

It’s seriously time to get into the gym.

My mama indulging in a TCBY Chocolate Bar!

Anyways, back to the FroYo.  My mama and I enjoyed the 80 calorie, probiotic-filled chocolate bars while hanging out in the parking lot while the babies slept.  They were soft and delicious.  I’m drooling just thinking about them.  When we were done, we hopped in our vans and went to opposite ends of town.

I dropped the babies off with Steve & Janice before readying myself for my big night out on the town, but not before doing a visual sweep of the house.  Janice’s bed was unmade and she had left a sweater hanging over the sofa.  The dishes were clean and put away but there were a few un-done things around the house so I was all-in-all pleased with her lack of effort in the house that day.  There’s no way my mom had time to clean anything so I’d say that No Housework Day was a smashing success for our families.  As a reward, I gave Janice her TCBY froYo which she moaned over until it was gone.

Janice enjoying her TCBY

Mission accomplished.

• This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias. #CBias  All stories of lackluster housekeeping and amazing mothers are true, and all opinions are my very own and were not influenced in any way.

This year, we’re on quite the budget so I set a $15 limit for Madilyn’s basket, a $15 limit for Grady’s budget, and a $15 limit for Styles’ gift.  Styles is one lucky boy and gets to go on vacation with my dad every Spring Break which almost always falls around Easter.  This year is no exception so he won’t be with us, and rather than set up a basket, I’m going to send him off with a few special things for his camping trip like a Perry the Platypus water bottle that I scored last week.

Kyle and I had some running around to do on Tuesday so while we were out, I insisted that he escort me to Kmart.  I figured that he could walk the kids up and down some fun toy aisles while I picked their Easter things out.  Easy peasy, right?  NOT!

When we first walked into Kmart, I saw an aisle FULL of Easter basket trimmings and trappings.  They had Easter books, toys, candy, and pre-made Easter baskets.  Madilyn found toy after toy after book after candy that she wanted and I was all:

“WORKAHOLIC!  GO AWAY!”

Wasn’t going to happen.  He wanted to be there to help me pick their stuff out.  As endearing as it was, I really wanted 5 minutes alone to get Madilyn & Grady’s stuff without their ever-watching eyes seeing it.

Madilyn fell for a Wonder Pets coloring book but I did a Wonder Pets themed Easter Basket last year so I didn’t wait to do the same thing this year.  After Kyle and I looked at Easter Books, Easter stuffies, Easter Candy and MORE, I decided to check the regular toy aisle too!  I was really trying to squeeze some awesomeness out of these baskets.  I am, however; going to have to run back to Kmart this week to get that coloring book because she hasn’t stopped talking about it since.

I love Kmart because the aisles are wide and uncluttered so I can do silly things like this:

Sidenote: I'm lookin' pretty good if I do say so myself! Thanks, Paleo!

Once we got to the toy aisle, there was a whole rack for toys that were an additional 50% off.  YES.  WAY.  We picked out a Cinderella doll and then got her a Disney Princess bouncy ball (can you tell I like themes?)  We found a Cookie Monster for Grady, and after checking out all of the SUGAR that we had in our cart, realized that we had probably nearly reached our limit.  Grady’s basket just didn’t seem complete so we went to the baby aisle and I got him a sippy cup too.  Now that we’re nursing less during the day, he’s drinking more water.  Which means that it’s time to start losing, I mean buying, sippy cups!

Kyle still has the baskets that he used as a kid and we use those at Easter for our kids’ baskets.  I love that his mom bought them some super baskets and allow us to use them.  Tradition is a big thing to me and this is a wonderful thing that we can talk about from Easter to Easter.  Plus, it saves us a few bucks each year.

Easter Basket from Kyle's Childhood

So we went to check out and SHO NUFF!  We hit $40 but we had purchased a few extra things that wouldn’t go into the baskets.  Once I subtracted those things, we hit $31.45 for Easter stuff for both babies.  I think that we TOTALLY scored on our trip to Kmart.

What do you think?

This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias, however; all opinions, old timey Easter baskets, and adorable little muffins are my very own. #CBias

Related articles

• Building an Easter Basket at Kmart (mommyhatescooking.com)