As for me, I've been running a bunch of long-postponed errands (Sam needs a new belt, I need new work pants, etc.), reading addictively on the sofa in the late afternoon (<--photo proof, with flat hair), catching up on a few shows on our tivo, and going to bed early.  Wild and crazy, that's me. I'm actually a little overwhelmed with the possibilities every day: get a pedicure? see an early evening movie? go to a museum? explore a corner of Boston? start a project? write? What would you do?

. . .

Changing topics a bit....This week my Sunday School lesson for the 12- and 13-year-olds was about adversity so I was happy to play them one of my favorite talks of all time, The Currant Bush by Hugh B. Brown (fast forward about 2/3 and listen to 17:43 through 28:15 for that portion of the talk). Do you know that one? Many years ago a friend gave me a cassette tape with this particular recording and it got me through many ups and downs in high school and college. It felt like such a personal pep talk (and I've listened to it so often) that I feel like I know Brown personally, with his kind uncle voice and poetic cadence: "God is aware of you, individually. He knows who you are and what you are and furthermore he knows what you are capable of becoming. Be not discouraged then if you do not get all the things you want just when you want them. Have the courage to go on and face your life..."

It's been swimming around in my head lately. So often I feel simultaneously laden with fruit and cut down. It's comforting to remember there's a gardener in charge of all that pruning and growth.

Every year it made me a little more charitable towards my drooping, tired teenagers who would come through the door at the end of the day. Suddenly I better understood the need for snacking (not that I ever needed to stretch to understand that, mind you), the pull of the sofa (ditto), the need to put their feet up for a few minutes before launching into the afternoon.

I had the same, exhausted feeling all last week. I think I experienced some kind of jet lag job lag with adjusting to the new schedule, filling my brain chock full of new information, talking to grownups, being "on" for a whole slew of hours in a row, and getting up earlier & hitting the ground running.

Sunrise, Boston

Now that the job lag has mostly subsided I can wrap my brain around some of my impressions of highlights, challenges, and essentials for this new venture.

Highlights:

1. Having a name badge that I swipe to get in and out of a restricted door between the museum and the elevators to my office. It just feels so clandestine and official at the same time.
2. Wearing work clothes. Still feels like dress up but maybe the novelty will wear off eventually.
3. The luxury of focusing without distraction for a few hours.
4. The flexibility of my workplace. I work 7-3 and it could not be more perfect (well...8 to 2 would be awesome, too). Also? Most of my department works from home at least one day a week; after a few months there I'll be eligible to do that, too.
5. The location on the wharf with a lovely view of Boston and the harbor. Have you been to Boston? My office is above the Children's Museum, the building next to the the giant Hood milk bottle on the dock, and near the site of the Boston Tea Party. The views make me happy every time.
6. Having work mates. Although I've only admitted it to a few people, I have been just plain lonely for the last while and this is a nice remedy. (By the way, one colleague is planning on going on 180 dates in 2012. She's got some good stories.
7. Two words: Office supplies.
8. The job itself feels like such a great fit and, at the same time, it stretches me. It's gratifying and invigorating.

Challenges:

1. The obvious: Getting everything done at home that I used to do. It took me about 4 days to finish all the laundry last week, where I used to be a Monday-is-laundry-day, start to finish, kind of gal.
2. Leaving the house at 6:15 a.m. Yawn. One day at a time on this one.
3. Negotiating my flex hours. I was nervous to ask but I'm so glad I did. Note to self: you don't know if you don't ask.
4. I miss margins. I kind of like long transitions between things and prefer big margins to my day. Those are gone. It's a tradeoff.
5. Will I ever make it to the post office again? (Sorry, Lauren, your package is coming SOON.)
6. Being the new girl is exhilarating and also humbling. It's a challenge to start from scratch on everything: where the light switch is, how to do everything, what the office culture does and doesn't do, and all the details about the organization and my particular job. It hurts me brain sometimes.

Couldn't do it without:

1. G. taking over the morning send-off responsibility. I miss those morning minutes with Maddy and Sam but I'm thrilled for him that he gets to have that time with them. I'm so grateful for him and his boundless, enthusiastic support. Plus he has a cold this week. Extra bonus points for G.
2. Calling, texting, leaving notes, adding new routines and rituals to our day (my every-morning note to Sam, for example).
3. Amazon and the occasional grocery home delivery. Some things had to go and I have pretty much abdicated my errand running in favor of online purchasing. Again, it's a trade off.
4. Protecting my time at home. All I want to do when I get home is hang out with my people. I'm both an adventurer and a homebody (trivia: did you know this blog was first named "Ambitious Homebody"? It's true.) and I need my home time. Work will be plenty adventure for me for now.
5. Ah, at the risk of repeating: That flexible schedule. I'm so grateful to preserve my afternoons at home and to feel like there's still a good part of the day left when I get home.
6. Supportive, lovely friends (both near and far) who talked me down and built me up on more than one occasion.

Speaking of lovely and supportive, thanks for your kind, generous comments and emails and texts. They meant more to me than you know.

Hat tip to my friend Jen for pointing out these spoofy clips.

Three cheers for Friday! I made it. I even escaped the car accident on the freeway that happened right in front of me this afternoon. Welcome, weekend. I embrace you: haircut, sleeping in (whoops, reverse those), baking/cooking, teaching Sunday School, feeding the missionaries, and watching the Super Bowl/Downton Abbey/The Good Wife.

M: Oh, I remember when we had that program in health. Is Mr. ______ still teaching it?

S: [reluctant to discuss this] Yeah...

M: Don't worry, it's not that bad.  

S: [dubious] Really?...

M: Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I kind of liked sex ed. There was a lot of role playing.

S: .......

Me: [bursting out laughing] I think you'd better clarify that, Maddy.

. . .

Of course we established that she meant there were lots of roleplaying exercises about saying no and making choices and that sort of thing. But we still have a good laugh about it.

Artist: Brian Kershisnik

1. I got a job.

2. I got a job!

3. I got a job?

. . .

1. The straight-forward version is that an incredible opportunity has come up at a terrific national non-profit organization I've long admired. It wasn't the precise timing I was anticipating doing this but it does feel right for our family and we have all felt sweet assurances that it is indeed the thing to do, on many levels and for many reasons. I'll be the director of program research and development and I start Monday. The eventually has arrived, the season for this.

2. It is the exact kind of job I always said I would eventually like to do when people asked "so what are you going to do with that degree, teach?" (I would say something like "I do love teaching but I'd really like to help lead a foundation or non-profit, connecting research and practice to help children and families in innovative ways," not sure if there were, in fact, jobs with all of those elements at once). In fact, I have the eery feeling that someone was secretly taking notes or that my words flew out and become some kind of seedling that cultivated this particular, newly created job. They are paying me to come up with ideas! To have a big-picture perspective! To pilot new programs and innovate and connect the dots...and then hand off those things to someone to do the nitty gritty implementation.

3. And yet. Still, I'm nervous. And terrified. 90% excited (or, honestly, sometimes 74%), but the rest rather terrified. I worry about other people's opinions. I worry about logistics. I worry whether I'm up to the task. I worry worry worry but it's all the kind of uninspired fear that is unhelpful and belittling, the kind you have to tell fear, go sit in the corner until you're more productive. Each concern I've had has been resolved (Oh you want to be home in the afternoons? Sure, you can work an earlier, flexible schedule) but still I ruminate about things, long after the calm, right decision was made. Yesterday morning I expressed some worries to G as he got ready for work. I leaned against the kitchen counter in my pajamas (pajamas! they won't let me wear pajamas to work, will they?) and quietly wailed "what if I'm not doing the right thing?" He looked me in the eyes, kissed my forehead and whispered you're doing the right thing. Which is, of course, just what I needed.

. . .

Just wanted to say that today.

And I'll still be here. Here and here. 

To be continued...

Three cheers for G, the leader of our band,

the peach in our pie,

the ink in my pen,

the twinkle in my eye,

the beat of my heart.

45 today.

{p.s. All of my sentiments on other birthdays still apply, too: 43, 42, 41}

. . .

1. yes, he's a studly scout and always prepared. I love that he apparently forgot to take off his shoes before his pants.

2. this is how I first knew him, as a big-brother-type protector and friend in high school, laughing from the back of the bus

3. Woo-woo! Rocking the short shorts on a 50 mile hike.

4. I love it when people remark how much Sam looks like G. As templates go, G is a pretty marvelous one.

Maddy, a fan of all things Audrey Hepburn and retro, got the dvd for Christmas. I couldn't remember enough about it to know for sure if Sam would like it but it's funny and reminiscent of Hitchcock with lots of plot twists. It's probably still a little much for younger kids (murders and all, you know) but if you've got kids 11-18, try it. And then I challenge you not to hum the theme song for several days afterwards. (Look! Hulu shows it for free.) 

. . .

Many moons ago, I had this idea to suggest off-the-beaten-path movies for children and families. I did a few (okay, three) and it seems like a good time to start back up since it's come up in several conversations and emails lately.

Right after New Year's I saw a little write-up about a company called Printstagram that made tiny books from your instagram photos. It was $10 so I thought why not? It took just a few clicks to choose which photos I wanted to upload and then I forgot all about it until they arrived today (from Taiwan?) and they're just about the cutest things you ever did see. They actually came in not one but three little volumes representing our 2011 year in instagram photos. They are even magnetic so they've taken up happy residence on our fridge. So fun! Now my mind is buzzing with possibilities...valentines, birthdays, little books of favorite things, future stocking stuffers...

$3.33 for each little book of photos. What's your favorite low-cost, high-happiness thing lately?

. . .

New York
November 10, 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First—if you are in love—that’s a good thing—that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second—There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you—of kindness and consideration and respect—not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply—of course it isn’t puppy love.

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it—and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone—there is no possible harm in saying so—only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another—but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens—The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa

. . .

Speaking of love, I am pretty giddy to hear that Once (remember how much I loved the movie?) is opening as a musical on Broadway next month. I predict an adventure to the big city in the next few months. Anyone want to join me? Though as my friend Jen noted, we will miss Glen Hansard and his lovely Irish voice.

. . .

Nothing like going to bio and spilling termites all over your lab partner and yourself../.

Oy. It'll make a good story someday...

He was cute though...he asked for my number, the termites were a good bonding experience...

Haha. Now that's a "meet cute."

>< He's an rm* though...hahaha. It was so embarrassing!!!!

Don't bring any of those termites home now!

:D I'll send them in a box specifically for you :)

Is he your lab partner for the rest of the semester?
If so, maybe he should wear protective clothing :)

:P if he sits by me. haha

. . .

*rm = returned missionary,  meaning he's over 21 years old having served a two-year mission for our church. We are gently encouraging our gal to avoid this variety of gentlemen at this stage in her life as they seem to be a bit more in a marrying frame of mind.