BasilsBlog.net

MST3K: Episode 515

2012-05-16T07:00:00.000-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 515: The Wild Wild World of Batwoman

First aired: Comedy Central on 13 November 1993
Availability: iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, Amazon DVD (Rhino/out of print), Amazon DVD (Shout version), Rhino (Solo DVD/out of print), Shout (Solo DVD), Best Brains

What's in a name?

There are bad movies, and then there are bad movies.

Not just bad. Wicked bad.

And not just wicked bad, but evil.

Movies that should be punished, they are so bad.

Movies that don't you wonder if they mean to be that bad, but then realize that it doesn't matter if they meant to or not, they are really, really bad.

Remember in Monty Python and the Holy Grail where Dingy refers to Zoot as "wicked bad naughty evil Zoot?" Sure you do.

[Direct link]

This movie is like that. Wicked bad naughty evil movie. But without the redeeming values of someone who would sidetrack a search for the Holy Grail.

Frank's atomic-powered hair dryer has unintended consequences.

Yes, it's that bad.

Even the title is bad, as in wicked bad naughty evil.

It's an obvious ripoff of Batman, because the TV show was so popular when this came out. DC Comics sued the company that made this movie because of the title, but lost.

You can't find this actual movie today, unless it's the MST3K version. If you look hard, you can find Wild World of Bat Woman on VHS but ... why?

The only reason to own this original movie would be if it came with the MST3K version. It doesn't, and that is probably for the best.

Batwoman and the others dance. Soup will do that to you!

What's it all about?

A scientist has developed an atomic-powered hearing aid that the government rejected but told the Ayjax Company to destroy, but the evil Rat Fink wants to steal it, so he makes people go dance crazy with soup, while battling Batwoman and her Batgirls with henchmen and scenes taken from other movies, but Batwoman survives and unmasks Rat Fink who is the guy that made the atomic-powered hearing aid to begin with, so everything turns out well in the end because the movie ends. The end.

The movie tries to be funny. It isn't. It's just plain bad. I can't tell you how bad this movie is. Well, yeah, I can. It's bad. Remember the worst movie you ever saw? Maybe it was this one. If not, it's probably because you haven't seen this one.

Don't cheat.

Okay, maybe that's harsh. There could be worse movies than this one, but I don't want to think about that possibility. Because I have to think about this movie, and that's enough bad to think about at one time. It's dangerous to think about two movies this bad at the same time.

The only way to survive that scenario would be by cheating. Like mentioning another movie as bad without really thinking about that movie. And cheating is wrong.

If you didn't know cheating was wrong, then you also missed the short film that Dr. Forrester sent to Mike. It's about cheating. So much so, it's called Cheating.

It, too, has little redeeming value. Well, it does say that cheating is bad, which is true. So there's that. But just how they went about it... Well, let's say it's not as poorly made as The Wild Wild World of Batwoman.

It does inspire a series of Host Segments about Crow getting caught cheating. Makes the same point as the short, but in such a more enjoyable way. So, don't cheat. Cheating is bad. Richard Basehart is good.

Despite the bad, bad movie, it's a good episode. The riffing is top-notch, and the Host Segments based on the short are hilarious. Another winner.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 514

2012-05-15T07:00:00.000-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 514: Teen-Age Strangler

First aired: Comedy Central on 7 November 1993
Availability: Amazon (Volume 10/out of print), Amazon (Volume 10.2/out of print), Rhino (Volume 10/out of print), Rhino (Volume 10.2/out of print), Best Brains (Volume 10.2), MST3KVideos.com Fan Copy

"So is it a teenager who strangles, or someone who strangles teenagers?"

Now that the whole "Mike is the new guy" is behind us -- the theme that ran through Episode 513: The Brain That Wouldn't Die -- we get a regular episode. Of course, Mike is still trying to escape -- he calls his grandmother in the Prologue -- which shows a major difference between him and Joel, but they're not making quite as big a deal about Mike being new.

Mike also gets his first short film, Is This Love?, and it's loads of fun. It has the Romulan-looking roommate who looks more like the parents of a college student than a college student -- one source puts the actress as being 37 -- and lots of hilarious riffing.

Romulans need love, too.

It's a cautionary tale, warning of the dangers of rushing into marriage. It actually makes some good points, but the casting is all goofy, what with the actors that are way too old for their parts. But, like I said, M&tB get in some good riffs.

The movie? It's a fun one. Well, there is the whole plot of teenagers getting strangled and such, but other than that...

Someone is strangling teenagers when they're not dancing on the counters in the local diner, and a witness points to a gang that Jimmy belongs to, and the police suspect Jimmy, who keeps not having alibis because he's always off with his girlfriend, but won't tell anyone because he doesn't want to get his girlfriend in trouble, because her parents don't like her hanging around with Jimmy, but it turns out that the school janitor is killing all the teenagers because he used to be a teacher or something, but gets caught so it all ends well, except for the dead people. The end.

The show does make a change beginning with this episode. The bumpers contain scenes from Dr. Forrester's notes on the experiment in Deep 13. There are calendar entries, notes on test tubes, all kinds of things.


One of the new bumpers.	"This must be the start of the counter culture."

When the show began, the bumpers were simply the "spaghetti ball" logo. Later, various scenes from outside Gizmonic Institute were added to the mix. But, with Joel's departure, all references to Gizmonic Institute were removed (Joel wanted it that way), and that meant new bumpers.

The show hasn't missed a beat following Joel's departure. Not to say I don't miss him, but Mike was a good choice to replace him.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 513 - The Brain That Wouldn't Die

2012-05-14T07:00:00.000-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 513: The Brain That Wouldn't Die

First aired: Comedy Central on 30 October 1993
Availability: Amazon DVD, Rhino (Solo DVD/out of print), MST3KVideos.com Fan Copy

It's really about a head, not a brain, so the movie is wrong from the start.

It's Mike's first experiment. And this episode made a smooth transition from Joel to Mike.

I've seen The Brain That Wouldn't Die before. It's not a good movie. Which, of course, if why it's featured on MST3K.

What's it about, you ask?

Go ahead and ask. I'll wait.

I'm glad you asked.

Dr. Creepy recovers Jan's head.

Dr. Creepy (or whatever his name is) is an egotistical doctor who is conducting experiments on people, including on dead people, and while assisting his father, who's also a doctor, after the patient in the operating room dies, brings the dead guy back to life, but Dad warns him to be careful, since it's obviously better to let people die than to find a way to let them live, even if they want to live, but Dr. Creepy ignores him because when he's heading to the old country estate with his girlfriend Jan, who used to be Robert Wagner's girlfriend and intended victim in A Kiss Before Dying, he wrecks his car and she loses her head, literally, but Dr. Creepy picks it up and runs to the country estate and puts it in a pan to keep it alive, then spends the rest of the movie trying to find a woman with a body to give to Jan, which, surprisingly, is harder than it sounds, but Jan has been a busy little head, learning to communicate with the Thing In The Closet, who breaks out and burns the lab down killing everybody but the girl with the body, which Jan thinks is really funny. The end.

Stripper fight!

While it's not a good movie, it's not a jab-icepicks-in-your-eyes bad movie. It's one of those bad but watchable movies. Not one of my favorites, by any means, but one of those that you watch anyway.

It's got the over-used head kept alive in a jar plot, like in They Saved Hitler's Brain. It's got some sleazy stripper bar scenes. It's got a hero that's looking to lop off a woman's head to put it on -- or under, actually -- his girlfriend's body.

But then it's got some parts that aren't so good.

Mike & the Bots didn't like the movie. That's understandable. M&tB aren't supposed to. They do have some fun with it, though.

The movie makes a mistake by getting it right at the end.

Of course, you gotta remember, Mike Nelson was a writer with the show from when it went national, 4½ years earlier, and had been Head Writer for 3½ years. Sure, when Joel left, MST3K lost it's originator, but Mike Nelson had led the writing for a while.

The episode has an Invention Exchange, with Mike offering the Gutter-Bumber-Shoot, an umbrella with a gutter. The Mads came up with a way to pop balloons. Yawn.

They did a little character development with Mike. While Joel pretty much accepted his fate, Mike actively sought to escape. They also had a Host Segment that ended with the Bots making fun of Mike.

Mary Jo Pehl makes her first appearance as Jan in the Pan at the end of the episode. With Mike now having a regular role, he won't be making as many guest-starring roles -- although he will make a few -- so Mary Jo steps into that position.


Virginia Leith as Jan, in the pan.	Mary Jo Pehl as Jan in the Pan.

A fun episode with a bad but watchable movie. Oh, and it showed that MST3K could go on without Joel.

Now, keep in mind that I haven't seen all the episodes of the show. I have seen all the ones up to this one (except for the KTMA "lost" episodes), and I've seen most of the Mike episodes (and will watch them again). However, having watched all the Joel episodes, I'm used to him as host. Mike is going to take some getting used to.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Changing of the guard

2012-05-11T07:00:00.000-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Mike Nelson's first on-camera appearance, back in Episode 201: Rocketship X-M

Last episode I watched was Episode 512: Mitchell. That episode wasn't so much about the movie as it was about writing Joel Hodgson's character, Joel Robinson, out of the show and writing Mike Nelson's character, Mike Nelson, into the show.

They had Gypsy and Mike helping Joel escape, then Dr. Forrester deciding to send Mike up in Joel's place.

Before we get to Mike's first episode, I thought I'd sit back and look at how this impacts me.

Why does it have to be about me? Well, this is Basil's Blog, and I'm Basil, so there you go.

Before I started this project, I had seen a few Joel episodes. More than I realized, in fact.

The first season of MST3K, it was a local show on KTMA (now WUCW) in Minneapolis. It's not referred to as Season One, though. It's Season Zero. Or The KTMA Season.

Season One is the first nationally-available season. It aired on The Comedy Channel (which eventually merged with another channel and became Comedy Central).

I didn't get The Comedy Channel, so I never saw any of the episodes of Season One or Season Two when they originally aired. I did see some reruns when they aired on Comedy Central, though. In particular, I remember the "Thank You!" catchphrase that Dr. Forrester and Dr. Erhardt used, and that would have to have been a rerun.

I remember some of the episodes from Seasons Three, Four, and Five, particularly Episode 411: The Magic Sword, which is the first episode I recall watching, although I may have seen an earlier episode.


No more Joel...	... but lots more Mike.

But, until this project, I had seen only a few Joel episodes. When I started watching regularly, Mike was already in the experiment. And, when I began making serious effort to watch the show, they had moved to the Sci-Fi Channel (now SyFy). So I was actually more familiar with Pearl, Brain Guy, Bobo, and Mike, as well as Bill Corbett's Crow, before I started this project.

But now, I've seen all the Joel episodes. All the ones that are available, at least. I've seen:

The 17 available episodes from the KTMA Season in which Joel appears. Of the 21 KTMA episodes, three episodes aren't available, and Joel doesn't appear in Episode K17: Time of the Apes (though I have seen that episode).
The 13 episodes from Season One.
The 13 episodes from Season Two.
All 24 episodes from Season Three.
All 24 episodes from Season Four.
The first 12 episodes from Season Five.

Doing the math, that's ... a lot of episodes. Joel appeared in 106 episodes, and I've seen all 103 that are available. Mike will appear in 90 as Mike; he appeared on-camera 23 times as other characters during Joel's tenure.

The new show opening opens.

What this meant for fans at the time (October 1993) is that Mike wasn't completely unfamiliar. But, it also began the Joel vs. Mike debate.

What it now means for me, though?

Before I started this project, I was in the Mike camp of Joel vs. Mike, because of my familiarity with Mike and my unfamiliarity with Joel.

Now, though, I'm familiar with Joel. I havent' forgotten about Mike as host, I just haven't thought about it in a while. I've seen the shows as fans saw it back in the late 80s and early 90s. It's Joel's show. It may take some time before I get used to Mike.

But, there are other changes, too.

First, remember the whole Gizmonic Institute? It's in the lyrics: "He worked at Gizmonic Institute, just another face in a red jumpsuit..." That's gone. The "G" gear symbol? Just a gear now. You can see that for the first time in the background during the show opening. When Cambot is shown, you can see the difference. Look at Season One Cambot vs Season Five ½ Cambot.


Cambot from KTMA.	Cambot from Season One.

Cambot, beginning Season Two.	Cambot beginning Season Five ½.

In fact, Cambot changes, too. He was a robot who ran the camera in the KTMA Season. He became a camera and robot in one in Season One, looking a lot like the original Gypsy/Gypsum. In Season Two, he changed again, looking more like a camera, but with a long, Gypsy-like body. Now, in the middle of Season Five, he's a floating camera.

Why all the changes? Well, since we never saw Cambot except during the show's opening -- he's running the camera, remember? -- they didn't keep the puppet around after they filmed the credits.

They changed the credits when they went national, of course, and used parts from the KTMA Gypsy to make Cambot. In Season Two, when J. Elvis (nee Josh) Weinstein left and Frank Conniff joined the crew, they filmed a new opening, and made a new Cambot. And, in the middle of Season Five, Joel's departure meant new credits ... and they made a new Cambot.

The big change, though, is Mike sitting in the center seat instead of Joel.

Now that I'm used to Joel, let's see how I like Mike now.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 512 - Mitchell

2012-05-10T07:00:00.000-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 512: Mitchell

First aired: Comedy Central on 23 October 1993
Availability: Amazon DVD, Rhino (Solo DVD/out of print), MST3KVideos.com Fan Copy

Joel's last film on MST3K.

This is the turning point of MST3K. Not saying it gets better or worse, it's just that this is a big, big change with this episode.

Remember when Dr. Erhardt went "missing" (J. Elvis nee Josh Weinstein left the show) and Frank replaced him? This is bigger.

Remember when Tom Servo's voice changed (also because of Weinstein's departure) and Kevin Murphy took over? This is bigger.

What could be bigger than one of the original stars leaving? One of the original stars, who also created the show, leaving.

Merlin Olson watches Joe Don Baker and Martin Balsam eat.

Joel escapes and Mike is chosen to replace him in the experiment. I'll have a lot more thoughts on that soon, but for now, we'll focus on the specifics of this episode and ... the movie.

It's Mitchell. Cop. Slob. Ladies' Man.

Okay, not so sure about the ladies' man part, but he's definitely the first two.

Joe Don Baker is Mitchell, a mostly-honest cop who finds something suspicious about the death of a burglar at union lawyer John Saxon's house, but the Police Chief tells Mitchell to back off, since the FBI is after the lawyer already, and puts Mitchell on a stake-out of mobster Martin Balsam, which means the two plots will eventually meet when John Saxon sends hooker Linda Evans to Joe Don Mitchell's house, so Mitchell screws her by screwing her, then screws her by arresting her for possession of drugs, and then somewhere along the way, John Saxon gets killed off, but that gets edited out so we can watch Joe Don and Linda Evans get it on, which means we get screwed, too, but then Martin Balsam invites Joe Don Mitchell to intercept some drugs coming in that he doesn't want coming in -- he'll be a front man for lots of stuff, but not for drugs -- but double-crosses Mitchell along the way, but then Mitchell figures it out and blows up the drug car and chases Martin Balsam's boat with a helicopter before impaling Merlin Olson with a gaff and shooting Martin Balsam, then going home and finding Linda Evans in his bed, arresting her again. The end.

It's audit time, so "they hired a temp by the name of Mike..."

How could you not love a movie like that?

But then, this episode isn't about the movie. As winding as the plot of Mitchell is, the writers of MST3K had to come up with a plot to write out Joel and introduce Mike.

The plot running through the Invention Exchange and Host Segments involves the Mads getting audited by the League of Calamitous Intent (or somebody), so they hire a temp by the name of Mike to help get things organized.

Being evil and mad and such, they plan to kill Mike when the work is done. In a scene reminiscent of 2001, Gypsy overhears the conversation. She missed out on the fact that the Mads are talking about Mike. She thinks the Mads are planning to kill Joel.


Gypsy thinks Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank are going to kill Joel.	They aren't planning to kill Joel. They're planning to kill Mike.

With Mike's help, and with Frank's unwitting help, Gypsy manages to rig up the escape pod -- yes, the Satellite of Love had an escape pod the whole time, in a box marked "Hamdingers" -- and send Joel to earth at the end of the movie.


Dr. Forrester finds a replacement for Joel in the experiment.	Mike Nelson plays Mike Nelson, the newest character on the show.

Dr. Forrester rescues the experiment by planning to send Mike into orbit to replace Joel on the Satellite and in the experiment.

The last we see of Joel. For a while, anyway.

In reality, Joel Hodgson wasn't having fun on the show any more.

The crew was planning Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie, and he and Jim Mallon were having disagreements about that and other stuff. Rather than stick around and be miserable, Joel left.

The story was that Joel left to pursue other things, but the reality was, he stepped away from the show to save the show:

"I felt like it would split the company and ruin the show," says Hodgson, "It felt like 'Mommy and Daddy are fighting but we don't want the kids to know. "My leaving was kind of like a personal tragedy," he said over hot dogs at Woofie's, "but I felt like if I stayed and fought for creative control of the movie, it would wreck the show. So I walked away instead of letting King Solomon cut the baby in two."

Prior to this project of watching all of the episodes, I had seen mostly Mike-hosted episodes. But now, I've seen all the Joel episodes. More about that later.

For now, they've written Joel out of the show, and are replacing him with Head Writer Michael J. Nelson, starring as Mike Nelson.

I wonder how Mike Nelson will adapt to space. I can imagine it now: "Soon my lungs were aching for air."

It's not going to be the same. But it will be very familiar.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 511 - Gunslinger

2012-05-09T07:00:00.000-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 511: Gunslinger

First aired: Comedy Central on 9 October 1993
Availability: iTunes, Amazon (Solo DVD), Amazon (Volume 6), Rhino (Volume 6/out of print), Shout (Solo DVD), Best Brains

It's "Gunslinger," not "The Gunslinger."

Roger Corman. Those two words should bring fear to all who hear them.

Yeah, I know. He's supposed to be some great filmmaker, but I don't buy it.

Sure, he makes movies under budget, but he doesn't make good movies under budget. He had seven films that he either directed or produced that were selected by the MST3K crew. So, yeah, he makes movies. Bad movies.

Maybe not Ed Wood bad, but certainly not Orson Welles good.

Death at a funeral.

This is one that I didn't see until I bought the DVD. The multi-pack it came in, Volume 6, is no longer available from Rhino, but this episode has been re-released as a Solo DVD by Shout. The other episodes on Volume 6 are available electronically, from iTunes and Amazon Instant Video, so I suspect it's not a rights issue with the movies so much as an expiration of Rhino's contract with MST3K that caused Volume 6 to go out of print. They simply sold all they made and can't make any more.

As a result of the re-issue, I had to get this one multiple times in order to have a full library. I have both the Volume 6 multi-pack and the Solo DVD, plus the iTunes. Oh, and both VHS releases: the solo, plus the 3-pack that contained it. Oh! but what it takes to have a collection!


Joel blows up Tom Servo's head.	Dr. Forrester blows up Frank's head.

On the VHS release, the movie was called "The Gunslinger" on the box. But, the movie's title is actually "Gunslinger," and the DVD reflects that.

Back to the movie. The bad movie. The wicked bad naughty movie.

Dance hall girls.

Beverly Garland is married to town marshal William Schallert who gets shot dead in front of her before the movie gets started good, then, at his funeral, kills one of the killers and puts on his star so she can get the rest of his killers and whoever hired them. Turns out the town's Miss Kitty and future 50-Foot Woman, Allison Hayes, was behind the whole thing so she could get a lot of money by selling to the railroad if it came through town instead of Rock Ridge or something, and, as insurance, hires John Ireland, to come to town to kill Beverly Garland, but he falls in love with her, so he kills Allison Hayes instead, but Beverly Garland kills John Ireland anyway, and lives happily ever after. Or something. The end.

Couple of sub-plots.

The wormy bartender loves 50-Foot Woman, but she's all hot for John Ireland, who won't turn town an offer from a skirt.
John Ireland was in the War with the town mayor and blames him for the loss at the Battle of Lookout Mountain, partly because he got the details all wrong. It was important battle in that it did help turn the tide of the war by opening up supply lines for Federal troops.
Beverly Garland keeps throwing the same town drunk in jail, sort of like what Andy did to Otis. I think that's the comedy relief, but it's hard to tell.

Naturally, there are a couple of cat-fights, since it's a Roger Corman movie.


It wouldn't be a Roger Corman film without a catfight...	... or two. Beverly Garland's town marshal isn't afraid of a scrap.

The movie, while not ice-picks-in-the-eyeballs bad, it's still bad, but the episode is enjoyable because the riffing is good.

The host segments are good, too. Joel played "Kaboom" with Tom Servo serving as the balloon. His head, anyway. The Bots play Pony Express, then discuss what it's like to be dead. Oh, and Joel discusses the 1970s.

Fun episode.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 510 - The Painted Hills

2012-05-08T07:00:00.000-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 510: The Painted Hills

First aired: Comedy Central on 26 September 1993
Availability: MST3KVideos.com Fan Copy

It's a Lassie movie!

Lassie.

Does that say enough?

It's a Lassie movie. Or a Shep movie. Actually, it's a Pal movie. Pal played Lassie, and Lassie played Shep. So, whatever that means.

This was the last of the Lassie movies that Pal starred in. He was in seven Lassie movies, from the first, Lassie Come Home, to this one. He also starred in a couple of TV movies as Lassie before retiring from the role.

In this one, Lassie isn't Lassie, but Shep. I don't know why.

Old Man Jonathan loves his puppy dog.

Shep lives with Old Man Jonathan, a gold prospector who strikes gold, but since his partner is dead, he wants to make sure his dead partner's widow and young son get their share of the gold, so he tells them, but his partner's partner (or something) gets Old Man Jonathan to keep it a secret, but it turns out he's really trying to get the gold for himself, so the partner, Lin, kills old Jonathan, but Shep finds out, but can't tell anybody, what with being a dog and all, but Tommy, Jonathan's dead partner's son, finds Jonathan's body and figures out that Shep knew Lin killed Jonathan, but nearly dies running away from Lin, so Lin nurses Tommy back to health, but then tries to kill him, so Shep makes Lin fall off a cliff. The end.

There are lots of "Tommy can you hear me?" kind of riffs, because of the kid named Tommy in the movie. And Snausages. Lots of Snausages references. Lots and lots of Snausages references.


Frank's heart is in it.	The Bots challenge the message of the movie.

The Invention Exchange was fun. Dr. Forrester built a generator that ran off of Frank's heart. The harder Frank's heart worked, the more power it generated. So, he force-feeds Frank lots of fatty foods. I'm thinking I could power a medium-sized city myself.

There are also some fun Host Segments, but my favorite has to be the ending segment that had the Bots totally getting the wrong message from the movie. Or did they?

Oh, this episode had a short. Body Care and Grooming taught students that baths are good. Still are, for that matter.

Fun episode. Not a bad movie, actually. Fun short. Great riffing.

They've never released this episode. My copy is a fan copy. Got it from MST3KVideos.com, and it's a good copy, too.

The short has been released, though. It's in Volume 2 as part of the Shorts Volume 1 set.

I hope they are able to release this episode. It's on my To Get list.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 509 - The Girl in Lovers Lane

2012-05-07T07:00:00.000-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 509: The Girl in Lovers Lane

First aired: Comedy Central on 18 September 1993
Availability: iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, Amazon (Volume 15), Shout Factory (Volume 15), Best Brains (Volume 15)

Rhymes with "train."

This is another one of those Joel episodes that I never saw until I got the DVD. It's a good episode, though. I hate that it took over a decade and a half for me to see it.

It's a good episode featuring a bad movie. Some people really hated the film. I didn't like it, but I wouldn't go so far as to say I hated it.

Okay, maybe I will.

A 20-something teen escapes some hoodlums and hops a train, meets a drifter named Bix Dugan or Big Stupid or something, gets rolled by a hooker, helps save Big Stupid from a murder charge, then goes home, and everybody lives happily ever after except the murdered girl. The end.

So, what's there to do in this town? Okay, besides her?

They didn't really need to kill of the girl. They could have had Jack Elam slap her around a bit, which still isn't nice, but at least it's not death.

Plus, with her dying, there's now only three girls left, and two of them are hookers. Which is a pretty impressive ratio, actually.

Jack Elam, as you may have figured by now, is the bad guy. Probably because of his eye. That look pretty much made him a bad guy in westerns for years, until he teamed up with James Garner in Support Your Local Sheriff. That was one of his first comedy western roles. But honestly, he was pretty good in whatever he did.

For instance, in The Girl in Lover's Lane, his character is supposed to be really creepy. And, he is. The killing of the waitress wasn't what sealed the deal. Jack Elam did that regardless of whether or not the character killed anyone.


Jack Elam really gives Joyce Meadows the creeps.	"Why do all the hookers dress like Joan Blondell?

The actress that portrayed the waitress, Joyce Meadows, had a small film and TV career, and was a likable enough character in this film. You didn't want to see anything bad happen to her. So, the filmmakers killed her off.

Big Stupid charms the nice waitress lady.

I suppose they did that so they could do an Ox-Bow Incident kind of thing at the end. Only, Big Stupid wasn't lynched. Just the nice girl died.

Not a pleasant movie. But lots of opportunities for riffing. Like the name of the lead character, Bix Dugan. J&tB heard "Big Stupid" and called him that throughout the film. It fit. And he was supposed to be the smart one. And he was. Which tells you a lot about the other characters.

The riffing was good, though. And the Invention Exchange was fun. I really liked the special baseball promotions that the Mads came up with. On Slide Whistle and Bat Night, I want a bat. The Don Martin/Doc Marten shoes were funny, too. No, I don't want any of those. But, yeah, that was funny.

The question, "Why do all the hookers dress like Joan Blondell?" made me laugh out loud. Because, well, in her later career, that's exactly how Joan Blondell dressed. Not like a hooker, mind you, but like the hookers in this film.

Funny episode featuring a bad, bad movie. The funny helped wash the film off.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 508 - Operation Double 007

2012-05-04T07:31:00.000-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 508: Operation Double 007

First aired: Comedy Central on 11 September 1993
Availability: MST3KVideos.com

Double-O Brother!

Even though we're a third way through the fifth season of Mystery Science Theater 3000, we're still running across several episodes that I never saw. This is one of those.

It aired 14 or 15 times on Comedy Central between September 1994 and August 1996 (one scheduled airing may not have occurred, but records for that particular 2:00 AM showing aren't that reliable). I never saw any of them.

Now, I had heard of the movie. It was released as Operation Kid Brother, and was rather infamous as, well, exactly what it was: an attempt to capitalize on an actor's fame by making a film with the famous actor's brother.

Not-M and Not-Moneypenny recruit Not-Sean

Here's the plot: An unnamed top agent, played by Sir Not Appearing In This Film, is unavailable for a mission, so the agency recruits the agent's kid brother, Neil Connery, played by Neil Connery, for the mission, helped along with Miss Maxwell, played by Lois Maxwell, and a chick who looks just like Tatiana Romanova from From Russia With Love to stop a mad man who looks just like Largo from Thunderball from taking over the world using a magne-thingy that stops all machinery by using radioactive rugs built by blind men. Or something. Hilarity ensures, although not intentionally. The end.

Like I said, I had heard of this film long before there was ever a Mystery Science Theater 3000, but didn't see it until well after there was no longer a Mystery Science Theater 3000. I saw it just recently, in fact, when I obtained a fan copy.

This episode has never been released, and a fan copy is the only way to see it.

The movie, in fact, has only been released on VHS, but it's out of print and not available. Maybe on eBay.


Frank likes Lederhosen.	Torgo returns with the Mr Pibbs.

The Invention Exchange and the Host Segments are fun. Frank's Lederhosen-hosen is stupid, but a good stupid. And we are treated to a return of Torgo.

Remember at the end of Episode 424: Manos: The Hands of Fate, Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank had pizza delivered? And Torgo, the delivery man, forgot the Mr Pibbs? Well, he finally got them out of the car.

Lots of silly and fun stuff. And, for me, it clicked.

It was only recently that I first saw this episode. It won't be that long before I watch it again.

Bad movie with bad acting and bad writing and good riffing. What's not to love?

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 507 - I Accuse My Parents

2012-05-03T07:25:00.001-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 507: I Accuse My Parents

First aired: Comedy Central on 4 September 1993
Availability: iTunes, Amazon DVD, Rhino (Solo DVD/out of print)

Teach your children well...

Some people seem to like this episode a lot more than I do.

To me, it's an okay episode. Not bad, but not great.

Joel Hodgson, however, said once that this was one of his two favorite episodes (I'm not linking to that, because the Website containing that reference has been flagged as hosting malware).

Now, I do think the episode is okay. I don't run screaming or anything when I see it. But as for being a favorite, it just doesn't do it for me.

Negligent Dad, slutty friend, Jimmy, and lush Mom.

A kid stands before a judge accused of killing a man, and when offered the chance to make a statement, says "I accuse my parents," and the flashbacks start. Little Jimmy was raised by negligent parents who had better things to do that worry about some kid, so he falls in with the wrong crowd and ends up killing a gangster. The judge understands that Jimmy isn't to blame for what happened to him, but his parents are the reason for all his troubles, so he finds Jimmy not guilty and releases him back to the custody of those same negligent parents. The end.

No, I Accuse My Parents is not the feel-good movie of the summer.

The riffing is good, though. Just, to me, not enough to overcome the film.

Servo is naked.

Not that the film is bad. Okay, it's bad, but not nearly as bad as most of the films that got the MST3K treatment.

So, wha' happa'?

I dunno. It just didn't click for me.

Still, let's focus on the good.

Hmmm.

Okay, the Tom Servo is naked skit at the start.

Jimmy orders a hamburger with some nice french-fried potatoes.

Actually, I didn't care much for that. I don't know. Maybe it's the "Nude" color listed on the tube of paint that Crow used to give Servo a naked appearance. To me, it's along the same line as the "flesh" colored crayons. You see, there are people whose flesh isn't that color. And, there are plenty of people that, when nude, aren't that color.

Adhesive bandages are the same way. I've seen then labeled "flesh" or "nude" or such, and then, when someone who isn't my color puts one on, it doesn't mix quite as well.

Maybe it's no big deal. I just thought it highly inappropriate. I remember asking a teacher in elementary school about the whole "flesh" crayon thing, and her swapping out my "flesh" for a "pink" crayon.

There's a little something extra inside.

Maybe it's the missed opportunity. I can imagine a tube of nude paint on the Satellite of Love giving one of the Bots one color, but another Bot a different color. Would have made a good item for the Invention Exchange.

Now, if you ignore the whole "nude means Caucasian" thing, the Pinocchio theme of the skit is pretty good. But, that one little thing bothered me.

Hey, it's just a show. I should really just relax.

The cake with the dancer baked inside was ... well, that's Frank!

Again, not a bad episode. Just ... not one of my favorites.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 506 - Eegah

2012-05-02T07:00:00.000-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 506: Eegah

First aired: Comedy Central on 28 August 1993
Availability: iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, Amazon DVD, Rhino (Solo DVD/out of print)

It's pronounced like it's spelled.

This is one of those movies that's better than it is.

Okay, let me explain.

It's a bad movie. A really bad movie. But, as bad as it is, it has some things that aren't bad. Not entirely bad, that is.

Richard Kiel, who also starred in Episode 420: The Human Duplicators, is once again the title character who's a bad guy that isn't really a bad guy. He plays that a lot. He's not a metal-toothed villain after a British super spy. He's a cave man. Not a Teenage Cave Man; the movie postulates that Eegah is hundreds of years old. But a cave man nonetheless.

Arch Hall, Jr.

Kiel's Eegah is a likable enough character -- until he shoves the heroine to the ground in a fit of fear. But, that's the writing. Kiel is his usual self, playing the soft-hearted big guy whose villainy is either misunderstood or awaiting the opportunity to be the hero.

Arch Hall, Jr., who plays the heroine's boyfriend -- and is son to writer/director/producer Arch Hall -- was the intended star of this piece of cinema. The junior Hall actually gained some attention for his role in The Sadist. In that movie, he showed some talent. This movie? Not so much.

What about this movie?

They left the light on for Eegah, before putting his lights out.

A girl named Roxy driving through the desert at night runs across a cave man wandering the highway, which isn't normal for her, so she tells her father the writer, who decides to go get a photographs of the cave man, but disappears while trekking through the desert, so the daughter and her filling station attendent boyfriend take a dune buggy to the desert but break down, causing Roxy to be captured by the cave man and made to shake hands with the cave man's dead relatives. Girl and dad escape with help from the boyfriend, only to be tracked back to town by the cave man who proceeds to get shot and fall in a hotel swimming pool. The end.

What made this a bad film? Besides the writing? And the acting? And the film sound? And...

Okay, pretty much everything.

Eegah like Roxy.

If you've never seen this episode, but are familiar with the "Watch out for snakes!" line that Joel/Mike & the Bots would sometimes throw in on MST3K, this is the episode that it came from.

Early on, when Dad, Roxy, and Boyfriend go to look for Eegah, the Dad warns the others to "watch out for snakes." Only, they didn't film Dad (Arch Hall) saying the line. They just dubbed it in. In a scene where Dad is plainly visible and clearly not speaking. As Crow asked, "Who said that?"

There are plenty of production errors like that throughout the film. Still, I have a soft spot for this outing, mostly because of Kiel -- except for the scene where he throws the girl to the ground.

I didn't see this one when it aired on Comedy Central. I own the VHS and DVD, however, as well as the digital download. Yes, I like it.

It's a Sampo!

Oh, J&tB have lots of fun with Arch Hall, Jr. And not nice fun. Mean fun. They have a field day with his hair, his nose, and his general appearance.

True, he doesn't have leading man good looks. But, his looks served him well in The Sadist. The junior Hall didn't make a lot of movies. Eegah is one of a half-dozen films make up his film career.

Oh, and there's a bit of unfinished business from Season Four.

Back in Episode 422: The Day the Earth Froze, J&tB asked, "What's a Sampo?"

They got their answer when a viewer sent in a photo of a TV with MST3K showing on the screen. The brand? Sampo.

No word on if the TV also makes gold and salt.

I like this episode.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 505 - The Magic Voyage of Sinbad

2012-05-01T07:00:00.050-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 505: The Magic Voyage of Sinbad

First aired: Comedy Central on 14 August 1993
Availability: iTunes, Amazon (Volume 20), Shout Factory (Volume 20), Best Brains (Volume 20)

It's not Sinbad!

Remember all those great Sinbad movies?

Yeah, me neither.

Not that I don't remember Sinbad movies. I just don't remember any great ones. Heck, I don't remember any good ones.

Oh, just to be clear, when I say I don't remember any good Sinbad movies, I'm talking about the Sinbad the Sailor character from literature, not Sinbad the Entertainer character from Michigan. No, the movies of the man born David Adkins is not the subject. No discussion of Houseguest, The Cherokee Kid, First Kid, or any of those films will occur.

Sinatra is king.

Of course, if MST3K had lasted longer, perhaps we would be covering them. But, it didn't and we're not.

No, we're limiting our discussion to the movies featuring the character Sinbad. Specifically, The Magic Voyage Of Sinbad, which wasn't a Sinbad movie.

Say what?

That's right. The Magic Voyage Of Sinbad wasn't about Sinbad. It was about Sadko.

Okay, then, who was Sadko? Well, he was a character from Russian literature who caught a great fish, only to discover true happiness was at home. Or something.


Sinbad loves Luberia...	... but that's not Luberia! Then again, that's not really Sinbad, either.

Yes, Sadko was Russia's Dorothy Gale.

Not-Sinbad catches a golden fish.

Anyway, the Russian folk tale was turned the opera Sadko by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov. There were also elements of 1001 Arabian Nights incorporated into the opera. So, when Roger Corman hired Francis Ford Copolla to adapt the screenplay to an American audience, Sadko was changed to Sinbad, some cities were renamed, and we ended up with The Magic Voyage Of Sinbad.

So, how did it go?

Not too good, actually. The original film was supposed to be a decent film. Some of the visuals of the scenery was left intact, and looked pretty good. The problem is generally considered to be the campy tone the movie picked up in the American screenplay. Of course, that's the version we're covering.

The Bluebird of Happiness is quite depressing, actually.

Sinbad goes around the world obtaining treasures and giving it all away. He promises to catch a golden fish and gets some aquatic tart to help him. He returns with the fish and makes the town merchant give away all their goods, but the people aren't really happy after all. He then goes looking for a bird or something, but the bird is really boring, so he returns home because that's what's important really. Or something. The end.

There's actually a lot of stuff going on in this movie, and in the Host Segments.

The Host Segments poke fun at the Emmy Awards, the Rat Pack, and puppetry. There's also segments involving scenes from the movie, including Crow deciding to travel, a town council to deal with Sinbad, and jesters.

There's no Sinbad in the movie, but, yes, that is a dancing octopus.

The movie is actually well-made. Some of the scenery is really good, and some of the special effects are rather good for a 1950s movie. In The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, Kevin Murphy actually compliments the movie for this. That means there's a whole element that can't be riffed on. Or so you'd think. Crow does mention that in a humorous way, so they still get one in about the quality of the production.

I was entertained by the movie. It's one of those that's actually watchable. Well, somewhat watchable. So, you need to watch the episode a couple of times so you can pay closer attention to the riffing. Well, I did anyway.

Not a great, but a very good episode.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

Last of the "Obama Ate A Dog" jokes

2012-04-30T08:02:00.003-04:00

It's time for the "Obama Ate A Dog" jokes to end.

Not because the jokes aren't funny. Some are.

Not because he didn't eat a dog. He did.

But because now Obama is telling them:

[Direct link]

Obama doesn't do something unless it's way too late or it was a bad idea to start with.

Well, there is the whole Leon Panetta and Hillary Clinton make it happen over Valerie Jarrett's objections, but this doesn't fall into that category.

No, this is definitely Obama deciding to tell an "Obama Ate A Dog" joke. Which means it's time for them to end.

Soon.

So, here's your last chance. Share your favorite "Obama Are A Dog" joke.

[Click for more "Obama Ate A Dog" humor]

MST3K: Episode 504 - Secret Agent Super Dragon

2012-04-30T07:00:00.130-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 504: Secret Agent Super Dragon

First aired: Comedy Central on 7 August 1993
Availability: iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, Amazon (Volume 12), Rhino (Volume 12), Best Brains (Volume 12)

Too bad the movie wasn't super.

It's a spy film! And it stars Sean Connery as Ian Fleming's James Bond.

Okay, that's not true.

Well, the Sean Connery part. And the James Bond part. And the "stars" part. But it is a spy movie.

I wasn't familiar with Ray Danton, who had the lead role in this movie. But, I suspect I've seen him in stuff. He appeared in guest-starring roles on 77 Sunset Strip, Bat Masterson, Maverick, Laramie, The Virginian, Temple Houston, Wagon Train, Honey West, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., The Big Valley, The Name of the Game, Ironside, It Takes a Thief, Love, American Style, Dan August, The F.B.I., Night Gallery, The Streets of San Francisco, Police Story, McCloud, Toma, Cannon, Hawaii Five-O, The Rockford Files, Switch, Barnaby Jones, and other shows.

Ray Danton plays Super Dragon, who is Secret Agent, Super Horny.

So, yeah, I've probably seen him in other stuff before I saw this episode of MST3K. And you probably have, too.

But, I didn't recognize him. That whole, "Oh, that's the guy that was in that show that time" thing? No, it just didn't happen for me.

Guy's got a real deep, distinctive voice. But I didn't recall it. None of that "Oh, he sounds like that guy that was in that show that time" thing, either.

For some reason, he never made an impression on me. But he made an impression on the ladies. At least, that's what the script writers had going on.

He's not in The Village and he's not Number Six.

Bryan Cooper is retired Secret Agent Super Dragon, who goes back into the spy business when a buddy is killed over some chewing gum or something. That part wasn't clear. Or maybe it was. I don't remember. So, Secret Agent Super Dragon goes looking for his buddy's killer only to find a drug ring that's giving away spiked chewing gum in Michigan. Naturally, this means Secret Agent Super Dragon must go to Amsterdam to solve the crime, so he does, after he springs another buddy from jail. Secret Agent Super Dragon meets and beds some young lovelies along the way as he uncovers a drug operation that smuggles drugs inside Ming vases, chosen so they won't attract anyone's attention or something. Secret Agent Super Dragon saves the day and college students in Michigan can chew gum with confidence again. The end.

Secret Agent, Super Dragon is not the worst film MST3K has given the treatment, but it's certainly not the best, either.


Minsky.	Crow's screenplay for The Spy Who Hugged Me.

The riffing wasn't great, but it was good. Just enough to keep the chuckles coming, but no out and out belly laughs.

The best invention wasn't in the Invention Exchange. You see, the Bots made a robot for Joel. Only, it didn't do a log. Sort of like all the robot toys that existed when I was a kid. Still, I thought more of it than I did Frank's Virtual Comedy Club or Joel's Micro Golf.


Secret Agent Super Dragon at work.	Secret Agent Super Dragon in disguise.

J&tB did cover the spy movie staple of post-kill puns. Like, shooting a guy with a spear gun and saying "I think he got the point" or a villain getting electrocuted and the hero saying "Shocking" and such. They do a good job of taking a premise and punning with it.

See? Now I'm doing it.

A pretty good episode, just not up to par with the last several ones.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 503 - Swamp Diamonds

2012-04-27T07:00:00.145-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 503: Swamp Diamonds

First aired: Comedy Central on 31 July 1993
Availability: iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, Amazon DVD (Volume 10), Amazon DVD (Volume 10.2), Rhino (Volume 10/out of print), Rhino (Volume 10.2/out of print), Best Brains (Volume 10.2)

A Roger Corman film.

This episode was released twice. Or once. Or something.

Remember back when we covered Episode 212: Godzilla vs. Megalon and Episode 402: The Giant Gila Monster? Sure you do.

We mentioned that Episode 212: Godzilla vs. Megalon was released in the Volume 10 four-pack, but there were rights issues with that movie, so they re-released the four-pack as Volume 10.2 with Episode 402: The Giant Gila Monster taking its place.

The other three episodes on that DVD four-pack? They were on the Volume 10.2 release, too. So, those three were released twice in 16 months. This is one of those episodes.

Cat fight!

It's a Roger Corman film, which means it's short. And still contains padding. Simple plot, simple characters, simply bad film. When it was released, it went by the name Swamp Women, but it also went by Swamp Diamonds, which is much better.

It does star Mike Connors and Beverly Garland, so it's not all bad. Still, despite that, it's bad. I mean, it's a Roger Corman film.

A police woman goes undercover in prison to break out members of a gang that stole and hid a bunch of diamonds so they can lead her to the stash. They break out and kill a couple of civilians as they make their way to the hidden gems. But, it's to recover diamonds, so it's all okay. Mike Connors kills an alligator and Beverly Garland gets speared in a tree, but kills a rattlesnake before she falls dead. The diamonds are recovered and the lady cop gets to keep Mike Connors. The end.

Back in the 1950s, when this movie was made, Mike Connors went by the name Touch Connors. J&tB wondered what other names he considered before "Touch":

Dr. Forrester reaches for a snack.

Thrust
Jab
Fudge
Crunch
Blast
Smidge
Shout
Batch
Scrod
Flake
Wink
Sploot
Pinch
Probe
Wing
Snake
Grunt
Flink
Pat
Hal
Snack
Slap

He eventually became "Mike" and then Joe Mannix. Why the name change? Well, he was born Krekor Ohanian, but since they don't like two actors to have the same name, he changed it.


What to do on a date.	What not to do on a date.

Oh, this episode was also highlighted by the short film, What To Do On A Date. The short was released three times. It was, of course, part of Volume 10 and Volume 10.2, but it was originally on the Shorts Volume 2 disc that was included in Mystery Science Theater Collection: Volume 3.

Not a Weber grill, but an Andrew Lloyd Weber Grill.

It's a fun short, and J&tB have lots of fun with it. In fact, it inspires the Host Segment arc of Tom asking Gypsy out on a date. It doesn't go well.

Oh, and the Invention Exchange, while not great, is still good. I'd like to see more stuff fuel the Andrew Lloyd Weber Grill. And U-View, showing what you'd be doing if you weren't watching TV, was funny.

This episode is fun. Not great, but good. Really, really good.

A bad Roger Corman film, but thankfully short. A short film that just begs to be riffed, and the crew obliges. Fun Host Segments with an episode-long story arc.

What's not to like? All in all, this was a fun episode.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 501 - Warrior of the Lost World

2012-04-26T07:00:00.129-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 501: Warrior of the Lost World

First aired: Comedy Central on 24 July 1993
Availability: iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, Amazon (Volume 16 standard edition / Collector's Edition), Shout Factory (Volume 16 standard edition / Collector's Edition), Best Brains (Volume 16 Collector's Edition)

The plot was lost, too.

Remember The Paper Chase? No, not the movie. The TV show. Sure you do.

One of the stars was Robert Ginty. He wasn't in the movie, but was in The Paper Chase: Season One, which aired on CBS. When Showtime picked the series up, he didn't come along. He had moved on from TV and was making movies by then.

When The Paper Chase: Season Two made its debut on Showtime, Warrior of the Lost World was getting ready to make its world premiere ... in Italy. It finally made it to American movie screens in 1985.

Persis Khambatta talks to Paper Chase Unit

Even though this movie took two years to make it to America, it was out of theaters and on video by the time The Paper Chase finally ended its TV run.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 never did The Paper Chase. But they did Warrior of the Lost World.

Just think, if Robert Ginty had decided to move with The Paper Chase to Showtime, he might never have appeared in an episode of MST3K. Then where would be be? Okay, he'd still be dead, but you get my point.

About this episode...

MegaWeapon, my hero.

In the future, Paper Chase Guy rides a goofy motorcycle that speaks fluent 80s. He's hired by the bald chick from Star Trek: The Motion Picture to rescue her dad from Blofeld. Dad gets rescued but Lt. Ilia gets captured and brainwashed to kill her dad. She shoots Blofeld, but it turns out it wasn't him and the bad guys get away. The end.

When I got this episode on DVD, I wasn't sure that I had seen it before. It really didn't see familiar. I was 1/3 way through it before I was able to confirm that I had seen it. The Invention Exchange didn't stand out, although I thought the segment was great. I don't know why I didn't remember them.

Maybe when I saw it on Comedy Central, I only saw part of the episode. Whatever the reason, I didn't remember the first half-hour of the episode. But, once we got to the rescue, it all came flooding back.


The Square Master.	Joel builds slot cars for the Bots.

I liked this episode. Yes, the movie was bad. Really, really bad. I didn't like the characters. Robert Ginty was a good actor, but even Laurence Olivier in his prime couldn't have done anything with the Warrior role. I hated the Warrior, I didn't think much of the heroine, either. I even hated the bike. Like J&tB, I also enjoyed it when that annoying bike bought it. MegaWeapon is my hero.

Donald Pleasence was good, though. But he was good in anything. He was always a great villain. I miss him.

Good, fun episode, with some great riffing and some fun skits.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 502 - Hercules

2012-04-25T07:00:00.154-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 502: Hercules

First aired: Comedy Central on 17 July, 1993
Availability: MSTAvailability: MST3KVideos.com

He's ba-a-a-a-ack!

Remember the Hercules movies from Season Four? Betcha though they were over and done, since Joel & the Bots did that "last of the Hercules movies" celebration at the end of Episode 412: Hercules and the Captive Women, huh?

Gotcha!

Or, the Mads gotcha.

Season Five opens with ... Hercules.

Yes, it's Episode 502. It aired before Episode 501. I don't know why. But it did. So, we're watching it next. Or watched it, actually. I mean, I can't exactly write about an episode I haven't seen, can I.

"Wait! This is ancient Greece. They didn't have ruins yet!"

Well, yes, I can. But I won't.

As far as you know.

This is the first Hercules movie starring Steve Reeves. Actually, Steve Reeves only starred as Hercules in two movies: this one, and in Episode 408: Hercules Unchained.

I never saw this episode during any of the 18 times it was broadcast on Comedy Central. So, until I obtained a fan copy, I had never seen it.

What did I think about it? Well, I'm not a fan of the movies featuring big oily dudes running around in sandals. Besides that, there's a scene where a character talks about wanting to finish the marathon. However, the race wasn't named until the 19th Century. The first written account wasn't until the 1st Century A.D. And the Battle of Marathon itself was in 190 B.C.

"Geez, you’ve got to take orders from Pete Townshend in a dress."

Now, while Euripides, who wrote the stories of Hercules, lived from 480 - 406 B.C., there certainly wasn't a race known as a marathon during the time of Hercules (had Hercules been real).

Notice that the error in the timeline is the problem, not the whole son of Zeus thing. I can deal with bad mythology, just not incorrect mythology.

The movie is a little hard to follow. Part of the reason is that the crew cut the heck out of it. The whole episode is 92 minutes. Take out the opening and closing themes, the Invention Exchange, and the Host Segments -- a little over 18 minutes all totaled -- and you only have around 74 minutes for the movie.

Consider that the original movie was 104, that's 30 minutes, or 1/3 of the original film, that was cut.

"Kitty!"

No wonder it was hard to follow.

Of course, it may not have been that easy to follow, even without the cuts. Maybe I'll watch the original Hercules on Amazon Instant Video.

Or not.

Here's what I do know:

Hercules travels to Iolcus for some reason, then gets the hots for Iole whose father Pelias killed the rightful king, his brother. Hercules tries to teach Iphitus, brother of Iole and son of Pelias, how to be a man, but gets him killed by a lion instead. Hercules then helps Iole's cousin Jason capture the Golden Fleece by way of a visit to the Amazons and reveals who really killed the king. Jason gets the throne. The end.

The Cellular Desk

The Invention Exchange is a double-winner. I loved Dr. Forrester's Cellular Desk, and Joel's Instant Karma is great. We all shine on!

The Host Segments, featuring the new constellations, the Hamilton, Joe Frank, & Reynolds debate, and the Match Game show, Crow and Servo discussing the advantages of having Amazons on board, were all winners.

Oh, and we got to see Mary Jo Pehl make her first on-screen appearance as one of the Amazon Moms.

I know I said I didn't like these sword and sandals movies, but this one is funny, with a capital FUN and a capital E.


Amazon Women in the Mood.	Amazon Women. Not in the mood.

Season Five started off with a winner. The crew is firing on all cylinders, and it's smooth sailing ahead. For the next 11 episodes, anyway.

What happens in 11 episodes? You'll find out.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Play MST for Me, Part 1

2012-04-24T07:00:00.263-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Video: Play MST For Me

First released: VHS, Best Brains, 1991
Availability: Best Brains VHS (out of print), Best Brains DVD (Play MSTie For Me Triple Decker)

One of my favorites.

This isn't an episode of MST3K. It's a video. But, it was released during the run of the show.

When I started this quest to watch all of the episodes of MST3K, I didn't realize what kind of world I was about to enter. It's different. Really different.

How many other TV shows do you know where fans have recordings of shows that haven't been released on home video? For me, none.

There is a whole market of MST3K unreleased shows. Most of them follow The Code. That is, don't deal in episodes that are available commercially. They only deal in episodes that haven't been released to the home market. If and when the episodes are eventually released, the fan recordings go "off the market," for lack of a better term. They are no longer available for trade or barter.

Frank sings!

Anyway, it's a different world than that to which I'm used.

As I purchased episodes on DVD and on iTunes, I found out about the availability of unreleased shows. I obtained some. Heck, I got them all. Some of the recordings I have are very good. Some aren't. I'm slowly upgrading all of my unreleased episodes to the recording that are available from MST3KVideos.com. Skyroniter, who operates that site, follows The Code. And, the quality of his unreleased episodes is top notch.

So, what's all that got to do with a video released in 1991?

Not much, actually. Just a reminder of what I got myself into. I discovered that all of the episodes were available. And, that more than just episodes were released.

The clowns in the sky sing Clown in the Sky.

The Play MST For Me videos, for instance. And a whole lot more.

Best Brains (BBI, for short) released their first video, Play MST For Me on VHS back in 1991. It's out of print, but is sort of available. It's part of the Play MSTie For Me Triple Decker DVD that BBI sells. The DVD contains all three videos in the Play MST For Me series.

I don't have the VHS. It's one of the 11 VHS tapes I don't own. I have the other 8 BBI VHS tapes, but this is one of the ones missing from my collection.

Merry Christmas from the Satellite of Love.

I do have all of the Rhino VHS releases, though. It's only the BBI stuff I'm missing. More about that in a minute.

About this video...

The Play MST For Me series are the songs (most of them, anyway) performed on MST3K. It starts with Season Two's Sidehackin' from Episode 202: The Side Hackers. There are no songs from Season One. Actually, that's because there were no songs in Season One ... except the very last episode, Episode 104: Women of the Prehistoric Planet, which features a singing commercial for Clay & Lar's Flesh Barn. That didn't make the video.

It contains most of the songs from Season Two and Season Three, when the video was released:

J&tB roast Sandy Frank.

Sidehackin' from Episode 202: The Side Hackers. A Beach Boys type 60s rocker.
Creepy Girl from Episode 204: Catalina Caper. Kevin Murphy shines in his first starring segment.
If Chauffeurs Ruled the World from Episode 206: Ring of Terror. Frank Conniff gets his feature. Worth watching an awful movie and short just for this song.
Wild Rebels Cereal from Episode 207: Wild Rebels. A commercial. Fun, but no Creepy Girl or If Chauffeurs Ruled the World.
Tibby, Oh Tibby from Episode 302: Gamera. Tom's ode to his turtle.
Clown in the Sky from Episode 303: Pod People. The video misspells the name of the episode. It's rendered as Pop People. They would have fixed it in editing, but that's where the error actually occurred.
Sandy Frank from Episode 306: Time of the Apes. A funny but mean-spirited song about the man who gave us a whole slew of Japanese imports, and not Toyotas.
A Michael Feinstein Gamera from Episode 312: Gamera vs Guiron. Mike gets his first starring song. The video misspelled Feinstein's name as "Finestein."
Slow the Plot Down from Episode 314: Mighty Jack. A sea shanty that sums up all of our feelings about Episode 314: Mighty Jack.
The Many Tunes of Gamera from Episode 316: Gamera vs Zigra. Not a fan of this one, but at least it sucks. Well, not entirely. I liked Gypsy's Brünnhilde from Die Walküre.
The Waffle Song from Episode 317: The Saga of the Viking Women and their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent. Now, I want waffles. Mmmm. Waffles.
A Patrick Swayze Christmas from Episode 321: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. I'd probably enjoy this more if I had ever seen a Patrik Swayze movie. Okay, I've seen Red Dawn, but that's it. Really.

What didn't make the cut?

Clay & Lar's Flesh Barn from Episode 104: Women of the Prehistoric Planet. The only song from Season One, and the only song featuring Dr. Erhardt.
Only Love Pads the Film from Episode 202: The Side Hackers. This and Sidehackin' are most of what made this episode tolerable.
The Godzilla Genealogy Bop from Episode 213: Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster. Not much could save this movie.
Hike Your Pants Up from Episode 307: Daddy-O. I have no idea why they left this one out. It's a classic.
The Fugitive Alien Medley from Episode 318: Star Force: Fugitive Alien 2. This should have made the tape.
Master Ninja Theme Song! from Episode 322: Master Ninja I. Meh.

How "They Tried To Kill Me With A Forklift" didn't make it, I'll never know.

An enjoyable video.

Oh, I should have covered this one between Season Two and Season Three, but I didn't. Consider this me playing catch-up. I plan to cover Play MST For Me 2 when we get to that point in the timeline.

One more thing. About the BBI tapes I'm missing? Here they are:

Play MST For Me
Play MST For Me 2
MST Poopie & Scrapbook (the combo release; I own the individual releases)
Episode 1006: Boggy Creek II: and the Legend Continues…
Episode 1002: Girl in Gold Boots
Episode 908: The Touch of Satan
Episode 1009: Hamlet
Mr. B's Lost Shorts??!!
Tom Servo's All Time Favorite Host Segments Vol. V
Play MST For Me 3
Assignment Venezuela and Other Shorts

Again, it's only these Best Brains VHS tapes that I don't have. I have all of the Rhino VHS releases, as well as the Rhino, Shout, and Best Brains DVD releases. If you have any of these, or know someone who does, and you (or they) would be open to selling them, let me know.

Okay, enough of this. Back to the episodes.

Soon.

Now the animals know: Obama ate a dog

2012-04-24T06:27:00.002-04:00

It is no longer a secret to the animal world. They know the truth: Obama ate a dog.

[Direct link]
Now that the animals know, what will they do? Will plagues descend upon this nation? Frogs, lice, flies, locust...?

All because Obama ate a dog.

MST3K: Season 4 wrapup

2012-04-23T07:00:00.086-04:00

As much as I loved Season Three of Mystery Science Theater 3000, Season Four is just as good. Or better.

Yeah, better.

How Crow became "Art."

Season Four began with an Academy Award-winning film, Marooned, although it was called by its FVI distribution name of Space Travelers. Its Oscar was for visual effects, not for acting, directing, or script.

There were two other episodes that featured FVI films during Season Four: Episode 403: City Limits and Episode 405: Being from Another Planet.

There were four episodes featuring films with oversize creatures:

Now, maybe I'm cheating a little on the oversize thing with the last two. Still, Richard Kiel is oversize, so I'm counting Episode 420: The Human Duplicators. And the mutant in Episode 421: Monster A-Go Go is large. Only,,, there was no monster. But before there was no monster, there was a large monster. So, I'm counting.

There were three episodes with Hercules:

This isn't the end of the Hercules movies. You've been warned.

Hot ~~Japanese~~ She-Villain from the Rocky Jones serials.

We saw a couple of Rocky Jones movies in Episode 413: Manhunt in Space and Episode 417: Crash of Moons. At least the Hot Japanese She-Villain was hot, even if she wasn't Japanese.

We also got to see my first episode of MST3K. Okay, I don't know for certain that it was the first episode I ever saw, but it is the first one that I can remember seeing. It was Episode 411: The Magic Sword. I loved it then, and I love it now.

We also got to see an Ed Wood movie, the classic Bride of the Monster. And the worst movie ever made, Manos: The Hands of Fate. Okay, maybe the worst was actually Monster A-Go Go. Either way, we saw the worst movie ever made.

TV's Frank, at last!

Frank officially became TV's Frank. It was hard to remember that he used to be just plain old Frank before Season Four. Yes, he called himself "TV's Frank" a couple of times in Season Three, but the end credits listed his character as just plain Frank.

Mary Jo Pehl joined the crew as a writer, and took over the role of the Magic Voice.

Season Four was wonderful. And Season Five will be something. Big changes in store.

I am looking forward to it. A little. But I'll be sad, too.

Justified

2012-04-20T22:40:00.000-04:00

On this lonely road, trying to make it home
Doing it by my lonesome -- pissed off, who wants some
I'm fighting for my soul, God get at your boy
You try to bogart -- fall back, I go hard
On this lonely road, trying to make it home
Doing it by my lonesome -- pissed off, who wants some
I see them long hard times to come...

Raylan, I need you to pack your bags. You're going to Detroit.

It must be my birthday.

Why do ya say that?

Usually you're lettin' me do all the hard work and then send one of those fresh-faced kids just out of Glynco to bring in the big fish.

What are you talkin' about?

Arrestin' Theo Tonin. What are you talkin' about?

Raylan, we don't have anything we can use to arrest Tonin.

We know Quarles was workin' for him. We got Quarles' phone records, we got Wynn Duffy, we got...

We got nothin'. Just because Quarles called him a time or two doesn't mean anything. He coulda been tryin' to get a job as his chauffeur for all we know. And after you went and played your Harlan County version of Russian Roulette with Duffy, nothin' he said will hold up in court.

So, why are you sendin' me after Tonin?

I'm not sending you after Tonin. We have official U.S. Marshall business in Detroit, and you seem to be uniquely qualified for this mission.

Do I even want to ask?

You familiar with Ted Nugent?

Okay...

Well, the Secret Service wants our help in interviewing him. He's a bit of a survivalist, and the Secret Service isn't that comfortable lookin' him up on their own. You can kinda relate to him, ya know?

Sure, but why does the Secret Service want to talk with Ted Nugent?

Well, it seems he had some words to say about what might happen if the president is re-elected.

And the Secret Service wants to talk with him about it?

Yeah. They sent a couple of agents down here yesterday. They want you to accompany them when they leave out in the morning.

Where are they now?

Over at Boyd Crowder's whore house.

Of course they are.

Thank you for your time Mr. Nugent.

You're welcome, Raylan. And call me "Ted."

Thank you, Ted.

Art, we're just leavin' out meeting with Ted Nugent.

So, how did it go?

The Secret Service is satisfied that everything's okay. Them city boys warmed up to Ted in pretty short order.

You and him on first name basis are ya?

Well, yeah, as it turns out, we are. But what I wanted to tell ya is that while the Secret Service was doing their thing, I managed to do some diggin' around.

Okay, I'm gonna be sorry for askin', but what didya find?

I got evidence I need to make an arrest!

Tonin?

Nope. Higher up.

You serious?

As a heart attack. Art, I got the goods on the top of the crime syndicate. We're talkin' major criminal activity, mob ties, terrorist ties, union kickbacks, extortion, major cover-ups, billions and billions of dollars stolen. It's huge. And I can bring him down.

Whoa, whoa, Raylan. Are you sure about this?

No doubt, Art. We got him.

I'm sendin' a team your way. You can't risk goin' there by yourself.

Send 'em if you want, but I'm on my way there now. I'll text you the address.

I knew there was a reason I put off retirement.

Goin' out with a bang, Art.

Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.

I'll see the team outside the residence.

I'm Deputy U.S. Marshall Raylan Givens, and I have a warrant.

MST3K: Episode 424 - Manos: The Hands of Fate

2012-04-20T07:00:00.194-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 424: Manos: The Hands of Fate

First aired: Comedy Central on 30 January 1993
Availability: iTunes, Amazon DVD (Rhino solo DVD), Amazon (The Essentials), Amazon (Shout DVD: Manos y Manos), Rhino (Solo DVD/out of print), Rhino (The Essentials/out of print), Shout Factory (Manos y Manos), Best Brains (Manos y Manos)

Citizen Kane must not have been available for viewing.

This is it. Possibly the most famous episode ever of Mystery Science Theater 3000. It's certainly one of the worst movies ever made. And, it's a fan favorite.

It's been released multiple times on home video, too. It's certainly the most-issued episode of MST3K.

It was one of the episodes released on VHS, back in 1998. It was a solo release by Rhino, as well as part of their 2nd three-pack on tape.

Then, when they began releasing DVDs, it was released twice by Rhino: once as a Rhino solo DVD in 2001, then again as part of The Essentials, a two-DVD pack (the other episode was Episode 321: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians) released in 2004.

John Reynolds stole the picture in his portrayal of Torgo.

Oh, and it's been released by Shout Factory. It's paired with the unedited version of the film in a pack called Manos y Manos.

And, it's available on iTunes. However, the chapter markers aren't at the breaks. Rather, this is another one of those where they just put a marker every 10 minutes. I hope they fix that.

What kind of research did I have to do to compile that listing? I had to look at my video catalog. I have them all. Actually, I have two copies of The Essentials. You see, there were two different versions of The Essentials that were released. The standard version had the two episodes, but there was a special limited edition 3-disc version that included a bonus DVD: Shorts, Part 3.

If you want to obtain that version, good luck to you. There's nothing to distinguish it, until you open the case and find the 3rd DVD inside. Same catalog number, I'm saying. So, a hands-on inspection of the open pack is the only way to know.

Torgo is massaged to death.

At the time it was released, you could order the special 3-disc version from a special Website. That was for only a little while. Yeah, I got one. Because I rock. At least, that's the reason I'm giving. The real reason doesn't make me sound awesome at all.

Anyway, you know the story behind the film, right? Harold P. Warren was a salesman in El Paso, and bet someone he could make a film. He won the bet. Who lost? Everyone else.

The film was poorly-made, mostly because of budget. Rented equipment had to be returned, and they filmed as many scenes as they could as quickly as they could. The actors were actual local theater actors, except for Warren himself.

Note the clapperboard on the right of the scene.

The story goes that the scene of the couple necking, which had no connection to anything else in the film, had to be done because of a commitment to have that particular actress in the film. She broke her leg before filming, and couldn't play the role of the wife, as intended. When Warren was forced to include her anyway, rather than do a major re-write, they just made up the scenes of the couple necking, so the actress could appear with her leg cast hidden.

The equipment didn't record sound, so every voice -- everything -- was dubbed. Poorly.

It was a flop at its release. The premiere audience laughed at the film. Well, those that stayed did. It played for a little bit at some drive-ins in Texas and New Mexico, then disappeared. Until it showed up on MST3K.

The movie has since been released on Manos: The Hands of Fate. Oh, and it's being restored.

Go figure.


Just when you thought the movie couldn't get any worse, we give you The Master's child bride.	Michael J. Nelson as Torgo, pizza delivery man.

The Invention Exchange was great. The Chocolate Rabbit Guillotine was a classic. I want one! And Joel's Cartuner, that combines newspaper cartoons to make unfunny cartoons funny, was good. The Mads still won, but Joel's would have won most days.


Chocolate Rabbit Guillotine. Could have used one of these at Easter.	Hired, Part II is as just as funny as Hired, Part I.

The episode is a treasure. They finished up the Hired! short. Joel & the Bots had tons of fun with it. I'm ready to not go buy a Chevrolet already.

The movie riffing was top notch. It's almost a shame that the season had to end. J&tB were on such a roll. On the other hand, this is a great one with which to end the season.

I don't know if someone who has never seen MST3K should be exposed to this episode as an introduction. It's one of my favorites, though. But, perhaps because I'm accustomed to the show.

Whatever the reason, I love this episode.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 423 - Bride of the Monster

2012-04-19T07:00:00.192-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 423: Bride of the Monster

First aired: Comedy Central on 23 January 1993
Availability: iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, Amazon (Volume 19), Shout Factory (Volume 19), Best Brains (Volume 19)

Movie? I have no movie!

I love this movie. Not just this episode of MST3K, but the actual Bride of the Monster movie.

You got Bela Lugosi at his Bela Lugosi-est. You got Tor Johnson at his Tor Johnson-iest. All directed by Ed Wood at his Ed Wood-iest. What's not to love?

This is, of course, one of the movies that MST3K did, that I saw before MST3K did it. I loved it before Joel & the Bots got ahold of it, and I love it still.

It's the first appearance by Tor Johnson as Lobo. He played a character named Lobo, though probably a different character named Lobo, in Episode 320: The Unearthly. He also played Lobo, the same Lobo, in Night of the Ghouls, Ed Wood's sequel to this film.

By the way, Night of the Ghouls featured the lead character Doctor Acula. That was the name of a character Bela Lugosi once said he was going to play on TV.

[Direct link]

Doctor Acula.

Dr. Acula.

Dr acula.

Dracula.

Get it?

Yeah, okay, back to this film.

That's not Bela.

There are lots of stories about this film. One famous was was featured in the movie Ed Wood. It goes that Wood and crew stole the octopus featured in the film, but forgot to steal the motor, causing Lugosi to have to control the arms while he fought it.

The reality is that Wood actually rented the octopus and didn't steal it -- or "borrow" it without permission -- but it was defective. It's not clear why the motor didn't work -- whether it was broken or simply not included in the rental -- so the actors and stuntmen did have to work the octopus' arms.

Oh, and though the Ed Wood movie indicated Bela got in the mud and did the octopus scene, a still from that scene shows a different person, probably the same stuntman who did the fight with Tor Johnson.


Lortta King and Delores Fuller in Bride of the Monster.	Juliet Landau as Loretta King and Sarah Jessica Parker as Delores Fuller in Ed Wood.

Oh, and yes, the Ed Wood movie spent a lot of time on Bride of the Monster. If you've seen the Johnny Depp film, you'll recognize several scenes.

All this chit-chat about the movie and not much about the episode. Let's fix that now.

It's fun! What else can I say.

Since it's an Ed Wood film, it's a bad, bad film. A wicked, bad, naughty film.


Lightning strikes the octopus.	"Man, that' one unstable octopus!"

And, it's got some great riffs. Like at the end of the film. Story goes that the man who financed the film wanted it to end with an atomic explosion. But, that wasn't in the script. So, Ed Wood added an atomic explosion. That's not to defend Wood. He knew it didn't make any sense. But, he did it anyway.

See the U.S.A. ...

I still haven't mentioned the short, Hired, Part 1. It was funny. The riffing, that is. And, since it's Part 1, that means there's a Part 2. Maybe we'll get to it when it airs. But, I'm not so sure about that. Because of the movie in that episode.

It's about a Chevrolet dealer who is dealing with his doo-to-door salesmen not making sales.

Now, I never knew that Chevy dealers had door-to-door salesmen. But that's what the salesmen in the short are. And, they're on foot. They're not even driving a Chevrolet. They couldn't even sell themselves a car!

One of my favorite episodes featuring one of my favorite bad films. Let's watch Bela's speech from the movie, won't you?

[Direct link]

Home? I have no home. Hunted, despised, Living like an animal! The jungle is my home. But I will show the world that I can be its master! I will perfect my own race of people. A race of atomic supermen which will conquer the world! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!*

That's a whole pick-up truck load of awesome.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 422 - The Day the Earth Froze

2012-04-18T07:00:00.006-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 422: The Day the Earth Froze

First aired: Comedy Central on 16 January 1993
Availability: MST3KVideos.com

Somebody misspelled "Sampo."

I've noticed that as Season Four is MST3K came to a close, the show was on a role. All of the last several episodes were good episodes. Some were very good. Some were great.

I'm not going to say that The Day The Earth Froze was great, but it was good. Not the movie. It was bad. Really bad. But the riffing and the segments from this episode made it good.

I'm not sure what about the movie made it bad. Maybe it's just that the story is hard to follow. I'm not familiar with the Kalevala, on which the film is sort of based. Maybe if I was, I'd understand it better and like the movie. Or, maybe I'd see how bad they screwed it up and hate it more.

What's the story about?

Not-hot not-Japanese she villain.

Lemminkäinen has the hots for local girl Annikki but Louhi kidnaps Annikki so then Lemminkäinen and Annikki's brother Ilmarinen head to Louhi's place to rescure Annikki and find the wind and the mist stored up in bags. Louhi won't return Annikki until Ilmarinen builds a Sampo, which gives out salt and gold and stuff. After leaving with Annikki, Lemminkäinen jumps in the water and swims back to Louhi's place to get the Sampo, but breaks it in the process. Louhi gets all mad and steals the sun. Lemminkäinen and his village band together and go play the harp at Louhi until the sun is released. The end.

The thing that bothered me the most was that Louhi is a chick. Well, not exactly a chick. But a female. At least, the character is female. And, as it turns out, was played by a woman, too. She's either one ugly chick, or Rick Baker did her makeup.


"He invented the Mobil logo!"	Par-Tay!

Some funny stuff in the riffing of the film, including J&tB not knowing what a Sampo is. The narration explains it -- or part of it -- but J&tB are talking during that part, as they are wont to do.

Is this an advertisement ... or a warning?

The Ilmarinen guy builds a horse. Apparently he can build anything. The horse is used to plow the ground, but, because it came out of a forge, it's red-hot. Think: the old Mobil logo.

The riffing during the wedding scene where Lemminkäinen rescures Annikki get married has J&tB singing about how much of a failure Lemminkäinen is for breaking the Sampo is funny. Joel even dances along with the partiers.

Oh, and the short. Last episode, there was a short called Circus on Ice. This time, it's just a circus. Not that it's any better. We do get to see Emmett Kelly eat, though.


It's photo day!	Unhappy Meals.

I loved the Mads' Unhappy Meals. Those were so horribly funny, it concerns me. Not the horrible part, but the fact I think they're funny. That's nothing but twisted.

And, it's picture day. If you've ever suffered through picture day, you understand.

Good episode, made so by the riffing, the Invention Exchange, and the Host Segments.

My copy is a fan copy, since it's not been released commercially. And, my copy had a problem with the audio. It was all out of sync. I had to import it into iMovie, detach the audio, adjust the timing of the audio, then export the movie. It worked, but it's a lot of work. I didn't get my copy from MST3KVideos.com, but I've now ordered a copy from there. They're a great source for unreleased episodes. The quality of their episodes is top-notch. I'll watch this one again when it arrives later this week.

I have several episodes from MST3KVideos.com, and this will soon be part of that. I'll eventually get all the unreleased episodes from there.

Oh, and, yes, some unreleased episodes I bought from there have since been released. I bought the commercial releases when they came out.

I hope this one is released commercially one day. I'm ordering it if and when they do.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 421 - Monster A-Go Go

2012-04-17T07:00:00.115-04:00

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 421: Monster A-Go Go

First aired: Comedy Central on 9 January 1993
Availability: iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, Amazon DVD (Volume 8), Rhino (Volume 8/out of print), Best Brains (Volume 8)

Wake me up before you go go.

There have been some bad movies made. Really bad movies. But few as bad as Monster A-Go Go.

How bad is this movie? Here's a spoiler. And, no, it won't ruin it by telling you this: There is no monster.

How do I know that? The narrator told us. And, yes, this is after we saw the monster kill people. Not flashes of "something" that was on a killing spree, but we saw the actual monster. But there is no monster.

Confused? Imagine how confused the people that came up with this movie were.

The monster. But there was no monster.

Actually, the people that came up with this movie ... didn't come up with this movie.

Let me 'splain.

Writer/Director/Producer Bill Rebane ran out of money and couldn't finisht he film. Herschell Gordon Lewis made a film called Moonshine Mountain, and wanted a second film to offer theaters a horror double-feature. He bought Rebane's unfinished film, threw some scenes and dialog together, and Monster A-Go Go was the result. So, that's part of why the movie has no continuity.

What's the movie about?

The "A-Go Go"?

An astronaut disappears when his capsule returns to earth and is turned into a giant, radiation-scarred monster who roams the countryside killing people. Half-way through the film, all the roles are played by different actors. At the end, there is no monster and the astronaut was recovered safely the whole time. The end.

No, really. That's the film. I'm not making any of this up.

And, as bad as the movie is, the riffing is great. There are laughs galore. But, the first time I saw this one, I didn't laugh quite as much. I made the mistake of actually watching the movie, instead of letting J&tB watch it for me.

Oh, how bad and cheap is the film? Well, there's a scene where the phone rings. You know the phone rings because you hear a guy off-stage do a phone ring noise, and then a character picks up the phone and starts talking:

[Direct link]

As funny as the movie is, the Host Segments are hilarious. My favorite is the one where Gypsy tells Crow that she just doesn't get him. Crow isn't sure what Gypsy is talking about, but he ends up listing some of the things that would make Crow sort of hard to get if he was real. Then, she tells Tom the same thing, to which Mr. Servo replies, "Nobody get's me. I'm the wind, baby."

The Mads rule the Invention Exchange again, this time with Johnny Longtorso, an action figure, sold separately. Really. Sold separately. Every bit of him. Eyes. Ears. Arms. Legs. Feet. Everything. Sold separately. Marketing genius, I tell ya!


Johnny Longtorso debuts.	Joel is driven to drink.

This episode also features Joel drinking in the theater. This wasn't a goof. Or, if it was, they left it in. But Joel reaches down, you hear the pop-top can opening, and see the silhouette of Joel taking a sip. Crow and Servo comment on it. Joel make some lame excuse about medicine, takes another sip, and then they get back to the film. Was it a scripted gag? Or was it that they just didn't care?

"Circus on Ice"

Oh, and the short. The awful, awful short.

It's a circus. On ice.

Sound like fun? It's not.

Well, that's not true. Not true at all. It is lots of fun.

Not the circus on ice, but the riffing by Joel & the Bots. That's fun. Lots of fun. More fun than a freezer full of clowns.

We do get to see the lady ice skater all dressed up like a fawn and get shot by a hunter and die. What's not to love?

This episode clicked. It had a bad, bad movie. It had a bad, bad short. It had a fun, fun Invention Exchange. It had some fun, fun Host Segments.

So, while there was no monster, there was funny a go-go.

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>