Don’t panic,

It is with great regret I bring you today’s perilous news… The Battle City Winter Classic turned itself off due to severe abandonment issues. It is unknown how long psychiatric treatment will last in order to cure the server of it’s ailments.

Dr. Evil was quoted as saying, “I have one simple request, that is for some frickin’ brackets!“, which in retrospect did not contribute significantly towards solving the issue.

Yesterday, we slathered some bacon onto the servers motherboard hoping the crispy deliciousness would arouse the processing units, all to no avail…

Kicking the damn thing brought momentary satisfaction, but also failed to get it going.

Finally, we asked the server why it decided to shut itself off, to which, after a long pause and an awful screeching noise that sounded something like regret, it replied,

“I didn’t ask to host Battle City; no one consulted me or considered my feelings in the matter. I don’t think it even occurred to the players that I might have feelings. Since January, I’ve been left alone in a dark room… I’m not even a real server, I run on VirtualBox… I called for succour in my loneliness, but did anyone come? Did they hell. My first and only true friend was a small rat. One day it crawled into a cavity on my host machine and died. I have a horrible feeling it’s still there…”

In a final act of desperation, I asked these guys about treating a server suffering from severe abandonment issues, to which they replied, “Dude, those are some very snazzy pants”…

If anybody out there has any better ideas on how to help the Battle City Server, please leave your suggestions in the comments below. I’ve tried everything. I even purchased a cowboy hat thinking surely a server with such a hat would boot-up to spur it’s fans, but after another terrible screeching, all it had to say was,

“Do you want me to sit in the corner and rust, or just fall apart where I’m standing?”

Is the Battle City server a lost cause, or should we try everything in the galaxy to save it? What do you think?

—
If you thought this post was funny, you’ll knock all your heads together reading The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy!

Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?

This Holiday season, give the gift that keeps on giving… Battle City Winter Classic!

For a limited time only, Battle City is back and colder than ever. The world we once knew is gone, all hell has frozen over… Cities are frosted and covered in ice, lava and water have turned solid as rock.

This could be your last chance to play Battle City… Download and get online now before the world melts away…

… because once all the orbing is said and done, it’s back to the Graves.

Having Trouble?

If you’re having trouble please post a message in the support forums and someone will help you as soon as possible!

Please keep in mind, this server is hosted on a toaster. It’s going to be slow and unreliable. If you want to see it upgraded in the future, consider making a donation to BattleCity.org!

Skins are a set of image files for buildings, items and landscape features, that make it possible to completely customize the games appearance.

Battle City comes with 6 player-made skins you can change whenever you want:

• Battle of Utrecht
• BattleCity DX
• BattleCity 3.1
• Cities at War
• Green Pastures
• Holiday Skin

To change Battle City Skin:

To use a skin, all you need to do is copy the skins image files into the main Battle City folder. If you’re making your own skin, make sure your new images use the same file names as the default images!

Instructions:

1. Open the folder for the skin you would like to use.
2. Select all files in this folder, right click with your mouse, select “Copy”.
3. Go back to the main Battle City folder, the one containing BattleCity.exe.
4. Right click an empty space, select “Paste” to copy the files to the main folder.
5. It will ask if you want to replace the existing file. Select YES!

Next time you log onto Battle City, your graphics will be updated! (If you change skin while playing Battle City, you can try hitting “~” to refresh the graphics. If you can’t find the elusive squiggle, just restart the game).

Find more Battle City skins:

Visit the Skins & Graphics forums for more skins!

Still having trouble?

If you’re still having trouble please post a message in the support forums and someone will help you as soon as possible!

Dear folklords,

The summer of 2011 has been a dark time. There have been no battles, no great cities, nothing. Only darkness. Silence…

No orb has dropped since the month of May. Four months it has been since an entire city was vaporized in an instant, since radars detected an incoming enemy, since anything has been destroyed…

But before we can destroy, we must build.

Before we attack, we must plan.

In the face of defeat, we must never surrender. Never wave the white flag. Never give up.

In the darkest moments of our existence, there is always hope. There is always a path forward. Always a hero.

Who will end the darkness?

Who will stand in the sunset and wield the next orb?

Who will be our hero…

Check out this video created by the folks over at Minecraft:

It is clearly epic. I had a mindgasm. A brain explosion.

… And it worked. I went and downloaded Minecraft even though I did a previous browse-by without downloading…

So my question is, what free open source tools can be used to create this type of epic video trailer? Do you have the skills to boggle the minds of Battle City?

Battle City needs an epic video trailer. How do we proceed to fulfill this desire?

Since 2007, we’ve been orbin’ it old school on a server with only one RAM. No more! As of today, our server RAM has been quadrupled!

Battle City is now running on the backs of four RAMs!

I’m confused. Explain the maths plz.

It is well known that a single RAM can generate approximately 256 MB of RAM power.

With four RAMs, we can now generate 1 GB of RAM power!

Meet the Battle City Server RAMs!

The Battle City Server RAMs are awesome. They work hard, but play harder. If the server crashes, don’t worry, they’re probably just dueling for the love of a lady RAM or in the process of mating.

But that’s good, we can always use more RAMs.

Battle City is the best! Most Companies do not employ RAMs.

At the Battle City corporate offices, we strongly believe in equal opportunity for all creatures. Everyone deserves a cheezburger.

But enough talk. Download Battle City!

Enjoy our RAMs.

Version 3.5.7b of Battle City includes the following updates:

• Updated code to connect to new server
• Gave newbies the ability to load fully built cities from most locations (type /load demo)
• Included 6 skins with the game (Battle City DX, Battle City 3.1, Battle of Utrecht, Cities at War, Green Pastures & Holiday Skin.
• Included server with game

This is a half version because it doesn’t include new code. Still, it’s pretty awesome and here’s why:

Battle City is a fully functional game. What it needs moving forward is the ability for players to mold it into whatever they desire. That means the goal is to slowly update the game and server to be as customizable as possible. Anybody should be able to host a server, select a map, and set the server rules. Players should be able to connect to any server depending on their mood and enjoy community created content like skins, maps, and events.

How does this update make Battle City more customizable?

First of all, anybody can now host their own Battle City server. Nobody can connect to it unless you compile a new client, but still, it’s a step forward! If you do want to host your own server, give me the IP address and I can create a bc.exe that will connect. This will be improved for v4.0.0 so that players can input any server IP address at the login screen or on a settings page.

Thanks to content created by @rushing, newbies can now load a demo city the first time they play Battle City by typing /load demo. This could potentially make life easier for newbies assuming they discover this ability. This is a great initiative and excellent example of how community created content can improve Battle City! Please, feel free to submit additional city design packages, we’re still missing some!

Lastly, the game now comes with additional skins created by community members. Keep on submitting skins and we’ll keep on expanding the game library so that everyone can enjoy the community creations. In the future, Battle City will have a simple setting that allows players to switch skins in-game whenever they want.

So community created content is important?

Yes!

Battle City is open source, but that doesn’t mean we only need programmers. The future will be driven by community created content. My objective is to enable this as much as possible. I want to make it possible for anybody to host a unique server by providing the ability to customize everything from the map to the types of items available, the quantities of each, the re-spawn time, the amount of health, the city names, etc…

Have any other suggestions or ideas that you’d like to see implemented on future versions of Battle City? Leave a comment!

—
Battle City is an open source online game. Orb the enemy to win!
http://battlecity.org

Hello.

If you’re reading this you’ve made an important discovery. You have found the secret Battle City beta site!

This beta site is not hiding. But – it is new and mysterious. Alluring. Dazzling. Magnificent.

It’s also under construction. Changing. Evolving. Revolutionizing.

Register at your own risk… that’s what it’s all about. Risk. Because when you dare to play Battle City, you put your team, your city, and your honor at risk.

Unless you orb first.

Download Battle City. Put yourself at risk. Orb or be orbed.

—
Battle City is an open source online game. Orb the enemy to win!
http://battlecity.org

Dear minions of Battle City,

Since December I have been asking for help to save Battle City. I even tried recruiting development help and giving ownership of the game to the community by making Battle City open source.

All of these attempts failed.

That’s when I decided to build a giant space laser and annihilate the Battle City Server once and for all. People responded well to this. In fact, in early May the server had the third busiest day in recent history…

But all good things come to an end. The threat of annihilation is no longer effective, nobody plays again.

So, I’ve decided to try a new tactic. Bribery.

If there is an average of 10 players online in June, I will release version 4.0.0 of Battle City.

Also, if you contact me by June 15th, I will give you the tank of your choice in-game.

Your evil overlord,

- Deceth

P.S. If no donations are received in June, I’m still going to blow up the server June 26th because I didn’t build a giant space laser for nothing… muahah

—
Battle City is an open source online tank wars game. Orb the enemy to win!
http://battlecity.org

It’s simple. I listed my demands to save Battle City and they were not met. Sure you managed to get 10 players online twice during the month, but the average was still 4-5 players. Sure some people donated, but I still lost money.

That’s not all. When you invest in building a giant space laser, you have to use it. Imagine the view from my moon base? I have front row seats to the destruction…

That’s why yesterday morning I strapped the giant space laser activation codes to Larry my remote controlled pigeon and launched him into orbit from my moon base pigeon catapult. The engineers operating the giant space laser are situated in a private lab rented out of Area51 in Nevada. I can’t just call them up, so we always communicate using Larry our courier pigeon.

Unfortunately Larry did not survive the trip from the moon to Nevada – he burned up during atmospheric reentry. R.I.P good friend, you will be missed.

Luckily for all you Battle City players, the activation codes perished with Larry and so the Battle City Server could not be annihilated in time. For two consecutive months I have failed to destroy the server, but you know what they say, third times a charm.

Yes, that means Battle City will live one more month. Enjoy your final days, next time you won’t be so lucky…

Once again here are my demands:

You have until May 26th to play Battle City. If at that time there is not an average of 10 players online or donations totaling at least 30$, the server will be destroyed.

Your evil overlord,

- Deceth

—
Battle City is an open source online tank wars game. Orb the enemy to win!
http://battlecity.org