baughman blog

7 Quick Takes Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 11:00:00 +0000

These are all going to be adoption and foster care themed because that is what is on my mind right now. I'll try to be brief.

1. Some part of the egress window is on backorder until November 10. I don’t even want to talk about it. It is no one’s fault; it just sucks. I’m going to call our licensing worker to see if there is anything we can do in the meantime to keep things rolling. Pray that it does not get delayed anymore, please.

2. Some people are going to need to see our lives as foster parents lived out before they come around to supporting us and I need to be okay with that. Some people may never come around and I need to be okay with that as well.

3. Something to think about: you would not imply to a person who comes to adoption through infertility that they are not a real parent. You probably should not imply or state this to someone who comes to adoption through a calling or by choice. It seems to be a cultural myth that pregnancy and child birth are necessary for bonding and maternal love.

4. Something I find myself praying for the kids and their birth parent(s) lately is: Lord, help me to see them as You do. My guess is all parents would benefit from this prayer at different points in their childrens lives.

5. I just listened to Pastor Joel's sermon on parenting from a few weeks ago. One of his points about parenting was that it is stewardship, not ownership. Your kids belong to God, not you. Sometimes you are going to have to let them fail or get hurt and sometimes you are going to have to let them go. So whether kids are with us or with birth parents or with a family member, it does not change to whom they belong.

6. On Wednesday, I was lecturing Marcia about letting go of her plans and resting in God's plan, even if she does not like it or know all the details. It's point number six and I'm still thinking about the egress window. Mmm, taste of my own medicine.

7. Isaiah 1:17
Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause.

*Seven Quick Takes Friday is hosted at Conversion Diary

This American Life

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 15:22:00 +0000

I've been a huge fan of This American Life for few years and have recently converted Dan into a faithful listener as well. Ira Glass is at the top of my list of people I would love to meet.

We were fascinated by the information in two recent episodes about our health care industry. I think regardless of where you fall on this health care debate, these two shows would be really beneficial to hear.

You can listen to them online here...
Episode 391: More is Less
Episode 392: Someone Else's Money

Style Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 11:00:00 +0000

Having recently discovered Ohdeedoh and Apartment Therapy, I find myself full of inspiration for this little house of ours. Our bedroom could use just a little bit of work. Currently, all Dan's clothes are in the guest room (soon to belong to a kiddo or two) and they need to find a new place.

We have a great bed from Pottery Barn that we love because it provides us with extra storage space.

Our bed is centered under a window and, due to the placement of a vent, it isn't quite up against the wall. We have not purchased a headboard. I love the look of fabric ones but I think this is an interesting idea too.

We could also use some better night stands. The ones we have right now are just big enough for a lamp, alarm clock & cell phone. We could use some more storage for books. I'd like to get something like this.

These would do but if we have enough space I may give this night stand project a try.

I am sure our biggest challenge will be our tiny closet. I have high hopes of getting most of mine and Dan's clothes into it somehow. I guess people just did not own as much stuff in the 1950s because the closets in this house are small (I even measured it tonight. It is 51 inches long and 22 inches deep). If I was Betty Draper, where would I put all my dresses? Those things look like they take up some space. We will probably end up with some type of closet organizer but let me know if you have any great ideas. I think we both should probably go through our clothes and determine what is really necessary to start.

Did You Want Something to Read?

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 19:23:00 +0000

A few things we've seen on the Internet this week that we wanted to share with you:

A sweet celebration of adoption at Adoptive Dads (you might cry...I did).
The frustrating things that are said to adoptive parents and transracial families (makes me want to scream).
An awesome song by Shaun Groves that he wrote for his friends/family who stood by him through his depression. I highly recommend you read his series on his experience.
A documentary about Rosie Thomas (that I want for Christmas). All you indie music lovers will be interested.
And, another great post from Sweet Juniper.

That's all!

Marathon Weekend

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 23:29:00 +0000

It was a big weekend. After months of training, Dan completed the Detroit Freepress/Flagstar Marathon. He finished in 4 hours and 10 minutes! Yay, Dan! It sounded like it was pretty rough and he says he is done with marathons. I was able to see him cross the finish line which was fun until about two seconds after he crossed and I could tell he was not feeling too great. Due to the barriers there were set up I could not get to him right away. I don't think he actually needed me but I was annoyed. We finally met up at the end of the barriers and he was able to sit down and rest. I'm pretty proud of him but I am fine if he never does this again.

I also participated in the big day by walking the half-marathon with a few friends. It was a beautiful day for a long walk. We finished in 3 hours and 16 minutes. I had a great time seeing different parts of the city that we do not normally get to see.

My walking buddies.

You can watch us at the finish line here. My group is in the video entitled "Detroit Marathon 3:14.30 - 3:39.57". We finished at 3:37 clock time; I'm wearing a blue hat and I come across with four other women. Dan's in the video entitled "Detroit Marathon 3:40.26 - 4:40.06" and he finished at 4:15 clock time. You can tell it is him because he checks his watch as soon as he crosses.

Here is the marathoner after we got home and he got a little rest in the car:

Dan's watch the was keeping his time.

In other big news this weekend, my mom and I were able to attend a fashion show at Somerset hosted by Tim Gunn of Project Runway.

Make it work, people.

Who Are You?

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 13:50:00 +0000

I always wonder who is reading our blog. I know there are people from 35+ states and several countries who have visited. Heidi and Molly both gave me the idea to let you have a chance to identify yourselves.

I started following Heidi's blog when her sister-in-law (who is a friend of mine) gave me the link. It turned out that we are neighbors. And I don't know Molly in real life but have gained a lot of insight on grief and being a good friend through her writings. As she says, "You may be a stranger, but you're not a stalker."

So, we would love to know who you are whether you know us in "real life", know someone we know or don't know us at all.

Just leave us a comment with who you are and any other information you want to share.

Our Family's Foster Care/Adoption Timeline

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 14:15:00 +0000

I thought it would be interesting to keep track of foster care and adoption experience through a timeline. Here is the first post but I'll keep a link on the right side as we add to this.

Summer 2000: God puts adoption on Krysta's heart through seeing a family adopt and through a missions trip to Jamaica.
2002/2003: Krysta starts praying for a husband who wants to adopt kids (among other qualities)
June 2003: Dan mentions to Krysta he wants to adopt kids someday in awkward one-on-one basketball game; Krysta makes mental note of this.
July 2003: We start dating.
August 5, 2006: The Mr. Daniel Baughman Family begins.
Late 2007/Early 2008: Krysta starts listening to Foster Parenting Podcast (FPP) and promptly forces Dan to listen as well. He agrees that it is awesome.
Spring 2008: We decide that we definitely want to become foster parents and eventually adopt through foster care system in the future. I (Krysta) start emailing T & W incessantly with questions. They are kind enough to answer.
July 2008: While on vacation in California, we meet T & W of FPP. We decide that we will start the process after our third anniversary.
Fall 2008: We read, pray and continue taking in all the information we can about foster care and adoption. In October, we attend Together for Adoption conference in Greenville, South Carolina.
January 2009: We’re not that patient. We bump up our start date to start the process.
February 2009: Krysta slightly freaks out at the thought of becoming parents and, once again, Dan is the voice of reason.
March 2009: We attend foster parenting orientation.
April thru August 2009: We complete our training with local foster care agency.
September 2009: We have our first home study and find out that we need an egress window in our basement to become licensed.

Adoption Stuff (and a little bit of gloating)

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 11:00:00 +0000

UPDATE (10/6/2009): Estimate is in for the egress window and we are going with it. God has graciously provided in making the final cost be exactly the amount we have saved up. Looking forward to getting this done ASAP.

Last week, I went on a long walk with Piper. I grabbed my iPod and scrolled to the Family Life podcast where I found that the most recent episode was entitled "Embracing Adoption." Family Life is a great organization who has continually encouraged Christians towards adoption through their Hope for Orphans campaign. In fact, several years ago I was able to meet Dennis Rainey (President of Family Life) and he said that if Christians really wanted to do something to end abortion, they needed to start adopting. I was instantly a fan.

Anyway, back to my walk. The episode featured Dr. Russell Moore (you may remember that Dan started reviewing his book a while back) and he was telling the story of how God provided for them to adopt from Russia. It is a great story and it did not take long for the tears to come (because that is just how life is for me now). And then I realized just how crazy I must look to the kids who were getting out of class for the day as I walked by the local high school. So, I pulled myself together because I did not want anyone to think I was totally nuts.

This weekend also happened to be the Together for Adoption conference. Last year, we had a great time but we could not make it this year. However, we did enjoy tweets from the conference while we were watching the Spartans dominate on the football field (I had to work that in here somehow). One of the tweets, from the conference linked to this video and I thought I would show it here.

I'm looking forward to catching up on the audio from the conference this week and, hopefully, writing a bit about it here.

Two more quick things...

If you are on Twitter, you really should be following Dr. Russell Moore.

And, GO GREEN! GO WHITE!

Birthday Dog

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 21:13:00 +0000

Piper is two years old today.

Happy Birthday, buddy!

The Blind Side

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 18:04:00 +0000

Quick Update: We are still waiting on a quote for the egress window. We are hoping to get word today. As soon as we have a time frame for that, we can set up our second home study.

On a side note, my sister-in-law (who just loves it when I link to her) is taking me to my first Mom-2-Mom sale this weekend. I'm a bit scared after having witnessed a few of these as a volunteer. Not really sure what I'm looking for but maybe I'll find something too good to pass up.

I have not posted this yet but there is a new movie coming our called The Blide Side staring Sandra Bullock (try to forget Miss Congeniality) and Tim McGraw (love him...but you will barely recognize him without his cowboy hat). I cried the first few times I saw the trailer and I'm really looking forward to seeing this movie. Check out the trailer.

See...you are crying too, right?

7 Quick Takes Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 21:32:00 +0000

1. Two words: Emma Grace. How sweet is she?

Emma is the daughter of Jamie & Jen (they are our dear friends who happen to also be family) and was welcomed into the world early Monday morning. What a great way to start the week. I was able to visit her Monday night. She sneezed while I was holding her and it was pretty much the cutest thing ever. We are thrilled to have a new member in the family.

2. Last Saturday, I finally was able to watch the Spartans. My emotions were all over the place and, needless to say, I was disappointed in the end. And mad at the quarter back. And then I read an article where he said this:

Football’s not my foundation. It’s not my identity. My faith is in Jesus Christ and he’s not changing anytime soon. I’ll keep trusting in him and in his plan and move on from here.

And then I felt guilty for being annoyed with him. But please, please beat Wisconsin this weekend.

3. In the spring, we decided to get rid of cable. It should be simple, right? Call the company and cancel your cable. But then we learned that we needed a home phone line (foster care policy) so we needed to call the company, cancel cable and have a home phone line installed. Then it just got complicated as we switched providers and then waited on some rebates. But as of this week, we are officially cable-TV free.

4. I'm needing inspiration for what will be our kid's/kids' room. I think I've decided not to paint it. It is a warm yellowy-gold right now and is my favorite color in the house. I think I can work with it and still make it feel like a fun, child-friendly space. I'm finding lots of inspiration here. This is what it looks like right now:

5. The conference I was at earlier this month had a representative from Bethany Christian Services there and at their table they had all this stuff about the MTV show 16 and Pregnant. I saw parts of it a few times when flipping the channels but, honestly, I stopped watching MTV around age twenty (thus making me very out of touch with what is popular in teen culture).

Something reminded me about the show and I went to MTV's website where I was able to watch the full episode of Catelynn and Tyler, two 16 year-olds who had been together since seventh grade. Early in their pregnancy, they decided to place their baby for adoption (of course, MTV phrases it as "giving away" their baby). I was just in awe of this couple. Neither of them have stable home lives (Catelynn's mom & Tyler's dad are totally opposed to adoption) but make an incredibly selfless choice to place their child in a home that is more stable than what they can provide for her at this point in their lives. I would strongly encourage you to go watch this episode.

There were three things that really struck me. First of all, Tyler (the birth father), looks so incredibly young. He still has such a little kid face but you will be blown away by the maturity he has in this process. Secondly, Catelynn's mother and Tyler's father (who, by the way, are now married to each other) are so incredibly against the adoption. Even though Tyler's father was absent for a great deal of his son's life, he still thinks Tyler should "man up" and take care of his child. Catelynn's mother buys a bassinet and puts it in her daughter's room even after knowing that Catelynn and Tyler have chosen adoptive parents for their kid. It is so frustrating to watch them make an already difficult situation harder on their kids who are obviously making a selfless and amazing decision. Thirdly, the whole episode my heart was drawn to this couple who have in many ways had to grow up too fast because their parents put them in terrible situations. I wished that I could take care of them.

Sorry, that wasn't very "quick."

6. We had someone come to give us a quote on the egress window. I'm getting pretty excited because I think it is going to make our basement a much more enjoyable place. Just hoping the quote is not too much more than what we are expecting it to be.

7. Last night, Marcia and I talked on the phone for nearly two hours. And the only reason we stopped talking is because I wanted to watch a certain two-hour premier of a television show. Marcia, I know you read this now because I email it to you - COME BACK TO MICHIGAN. Seriously, think about it. There are no Coney Islands in Cincianatti.

Sweet Treats

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 19:43:00 +0000

My mom (Laura) always had special treats for us growing up. I enjoyed a couple over the weekend and thought I would share them with you.

Laura's Apple Cider

3 cups apple cider
1 cup orange juice
1 cinnamon stick
5 cloves

Directions: Heat on the stove and enjoy.

My mom always had this cider ready when we got back from trick-or-treating on Halloween. It makes your house smell amazing.

Laura's "Orange Cream Cooler"

Orange juice
Vanilla ice cream

Directions: Mix together in blender.

*Note: Dan loves strawberries and we've taken to adding 5-6 frozen strawberries to this drink.

My mom was too ~~cheap~~ frugal to buy these at Olga's so we made them at home. I have to say - I like it a lot better than Olga's version.

Style Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 11:00:00 +0000

It's back. I was inspired this week due to this lovely gift that I was given by Heather. I am seriously loving the way it looks in my red kitchen.

Funny thing is, I was bringing her a house warming gift when she gave me this. And I also got her a tablecloth. I think Ross and Dan were utterly confused.

I'm not really a collector because I strongly dislike a cluttered home but vintage (or at least vintage-looking) linens are the way to my heart. I guess that is kind of weird but it is true. Here are the ones I have accumulated.

Recently, I saw this post and I knew it was only going to drive my obsession further. If I am having a bad day, I just type in "vintage linens" into the search box on Etsy. Some people feed their emotions with cookies and some people buy new clothes but what I need is the rich colors of an era gone by to make my blues go away.

FAQ #10: What is a home study?

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:43:00 +0000

Yesterday we had our first of two home studies. I am guessing home studies vary between agencies and states. Ours was pretty simple and did not present any surprises.

A licensing worker (I'll call her V) came to do our home study. She will only be our worker during licensing. Once that is complete we will have a different social worker who comes to our house on a monthly basis (during anytime when we are placed with kids). She arrived and did a walk through of all our rooms and measured each bedroom and bathroom. She asked us what each room was used for or how we anticipated it being used in the future. She also flushed the toilet, she said she had to check (Dan wanted to make sure I mentioned that).

After V looked at our basement, she answered the question we were hoping to have answered. If we want to use our basement for anything besides storage, we must have an egress window installed. This is really the only expense we will incur in this process and we were prepared for this answer. Overall, it will be a good thing: it will add natural light to the basement, increase the value of our house and make it a nice place for kids to play when the backyard is not an option in the winter months.

After the walk through, she went over our paperwork and then interviewed us. Many of the questions she asked we had answered on the application forms but she explained that she preferred to talk over these questions in order to understand our family in a more relational way (rather than just reading what we wrote on a form). It is her job to write a 36 page report on us that will be necessary for our license to be approved.

We have a few things minor things (installing a smoke detector in basement, few more forms, etc.) that need to be taken care of in addition to the egress window. Once that is complete, she will return again for a second home study which will involve more questions and, I am assuming, a re-check of our house. We were surprised that she did not go over things like where to store our cleaning products but that is probably coming in the next visit.

So, that is what a home study looks like in Michigan. I do not believe that the egress window is policy for every agency in the state but it is for ours. Just something to check on if you are considering pursuing foster care/adoption. V told us that she likes to get her families licensed within 90 days which gives us an approximate date of December 15. If all goes well with installing the egress window, we should not have an setbacks.

Getting Ready

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 02:22:00 +0000

Tomorrow is our home study and I just could not bear a stranger seeing this (sorry about the poor photo quality but I think you get the idea):

So, I spent my evening cleaning our office and I found a few things along the way that we thought were missing: 1) Dan's Social Security card and 2) Our proof of insurance for our cars (we've been driving with expired proofs of insurance for a month now).

I also found this print I bought a few months ago at a craft fair and decided it looked nice in our hallway.

Another great find: my old laptop from college. I wish I could turn it on because it has a ton of good music on it from the days when music was free (okay, stolen).

It eventually got done and we are looking good now:

We will update soon on how the home study goes.

This is what happens...

noreply@blogger.com (Dan) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 20:22:00 +0000

... when Krysta goes out of town.

Twenty-Seven

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:00:00 +0000

Today Dan is 27 years old. And I am out of town. What a bad wife.

We celebrated early last weekend by eating at Red Robin (free burger for birthdays) and seeing a violent movie. He could not come up with anything he wanted as a gift so I wrapped up a couple packages of his favorite cookies along with a new t-shirt for college football season. When he unwrapped the gift, he reacted as if it was a brand new fifteen passenger van (the dream-machine of all youth pastors). He is easy to please.

Depending on how long we keep this blog going, you all might tire of our tributes to each other year after year on our respective birthdays. I’ll try to keep this short and sweet.

Here are three things I appreciate about Dan, while reflecting on the past year:

1. Dan is funny. There I said it. Even though at times I like to make him think that he is only entertaining himself, the truth is, he is funny. There is a lot of laughter in our home due to him.

2. Dan is ridiculously good at his job. The kids in the youth group admire him greatly and I have the privilege of witnessing this week after week. He cares deeply for each kid and wants them to know Jesus Christ personally.

3. Dan is a hard worker. Because we know that we will likely be parents in a few months, Dan has packed his schedule with ten credits towards his master degree (this is on top of working full-time) and one of the classes he is taking is Greek. He is enduring four months of lots of work so that he can be around more when he is a dad.

Happy Birthday, Dan! By the way, your final gift should be arriving in the mail this week (because you bad wife ordered it late).

Quick Life Update

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 11:00:00 +0000

Things have been busy, busy since we got back from Jeff & Vicky's wedding. I could not even manage a Style Friday last week and I would not count on one this week either. I'm headed to Baltimore for a conference for work. Dan is a bit jealous as Baltimore is the backdrop for his favorite show, The Wire.

What will Dan do while I am out of town? Well, I think he is planning to go for the Mustache: Part 2...you may remember it. I also think he is planning on doing a lot of Greek homework and watching college football (most likely while wearing his new shirt. Sorry, Ohio friends. It is a rivalry that runs deep.)

We finished up our training for foster care a few weeks ago and we've been waiting for a social worker to call us to set up our home study. Our paper work said they would call in a few days but then our agency said a few weeks.

So, after our very enjoyable long weekend, my patience was running thin but there was not much that I could do about it. I could get really annoying and just start calling our agency but opted to pray instead. And I asked others to pray too (on Facebook & Twitter - putting social networking to good use).

And, guess what? Around 6:30 last night our social worker called and she will be coming for our home study next week. I'm going to take this as another confirmation that we are doing what God wants us to do. Thanks to all of you who prayed and have been praying for us through all this.

And now I need to go clean my house...

Orphan Sunday - November 8

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 11:12:00 +0000

Orphan Sunday from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

Wedding Weekend

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 12:49:00 +0000

Jeff & Vicky tied the knot this weekend. It was quite an event. The ceremony took place at the Kellogg Manor House on Gull Lake. On Saturday morning, Vicky was watching the weather report and they said it was record low temperature for August 29th. Oh well, we were not going to let that ruin the day!

Despite the wind and lower temps, Jeff & Vicky had a lovely ceremony and reception that was so them: relaxed, meaningful and fun. We are thrilled to have another member of the family and so happy they found each other.

Style Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 12:00:00 +0000

Oh, the apron. I simply love them. I still remember the drawer of aprons we had in our kitchen – some “mom-sized”, some “kid-sized” - that we wore when baking in our kitchen growing up. And we did a lot of baking.

Cooking and baking have totally become a stress-relief method for me. It was also a way to pass time when we were growing up. I am sure my mom used it as an activity to keep us busy and I am very grateful now for my comfortable knowledge of the kitchen.

A few weeks ago, Courtney, Meredith and I went to see Julie & Julia (delightful). During a scene in which Julie Child chops up a mountain of onions, I leaned over to Meredith and said, “I just love chopping stuff.” Honestly, it is one of my favorite things to do. Often after a trip home from the farmer’s market, I throw on my bright orange apron, lay out my findings from the day, and chop away. The perfect activity for a Saturday morning.

I’m sure I would enjoy chopping, baking and cooking just as much in one these:
1. I love this print from Heather Bailey. And it would match my kitchen quite well. (From Great Goods)
2. The first thing I noticed about the apron was the stove behind it. I dream of a vintage 1950s kitchen. (From Boojiboo)
3. I usually prefer a full apron but this little half apron is pretty cute. (From Pamwares)
4. How girly is this?!? (From Sassy Apron)

This is my life

noreply@blogger.com (Dan) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 17:55:00 +0000

Thanks to Meghan (@meghanlou) for pointing this out to me.

It's fantastic.

Graduates

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 22:00:00 +0000

Last night we graduated from foster parenting training...whooo hooo! As soon as we turn in our last bit of paperwork, we should receive a call with our Licensing Worker to set up a home study. After that, the process will take "90 days - 6 months or longer" (actual quote from our licensing material) until we are licensed and eligible to be placed with a child (or two...or three...just kidding, probably no more than two...for now).

Dan has five months of pretty intense school ahead of him. While he is studying, it looks like I will be working on our house and getting things ready. I think pregnant ladies call this "nesting" so I guess that is what I'll call it too.

On a side note, we've gone several weeks with out a Style Friday (I know all four of you are very sad). My only style inspiration lately is Mad Men and I just don't know how many times I can post about that.

And now a picture...

How would you like these two for your parents?

FAQ #9: Will the birth parents still be involved?

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 11:54:00 +0000

Last night during our class, we received a little more information on what our foster kid(s) interaction with their parent(s) will be like. The goal in the State of Michigan is for a parent's parental rights to be determined with one year - eighteen months of their child being removed from their home. That said, many cases go on much longer (up to five years).

Within seven to ten days of a child being removed from their parent's custody, the agency will set up a visit. I cannot even imagine how confusing this whole situation must be for a child. When they go to this visit, the last time they have seen their parent(s) was when they were taken from the home and now they are visiting them at the agency's building. After this, the frequency and level of visits is determined. Generally, the first three months will be weekly, one hour supervised visits at the agency. This means that a foster care worker will observe the parent and child during these visits. He/she will write down what they talk about, how they interact and how the parent reacts to the child's behavior. They will also make note of if the parent arrives for the visit and if they are on time. If parents make positive changes, their level and frequency of visits may change after three months to provide more freedom. If they do not progress, they will likely remain as supervised visits.

These visits can be very difficult for children. We watched a video last night that interviewed seasoned foster parents. One woman said that when she took her foster son to visits, he would rage in the car all the way home. Another woman said that after her foster daughter's visits with her mom, she would just cry and cry and did not want anyone to comfort her.

Even though we deeply desire to adopt someday, we only want to adopt children whose parents are not capable of caring for them. This means that when we are placed with children, we need to do all that we can to strengthen their family relationships and at the same time love them as though they are ours. So, yes, this is going to be difficult.

When children are in our home, we cannot talk negatively about their birth parent(s). Even if they don't show up for visits and when they don't seem to make any progress. Even when we are frustrated with them and with the things they have or have not done. In many cases, these people are just as lost and needy. And Jesus loves them too.

At some point, the court will determine if reunification will happen or if the parents rights will be terminated. Each case is different and so many factors come in to play in deciding if long term contact (even after adoption) will be beneficial for the kids.

Foster Care Update...Coming Soon

noreply@blogger.com (Krysta) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 19:48:00 +0000

Next week is our final training for foster care...whoa! Still a lot to do but hopefully there will be more information available next week.

I was shopping on Amazon last weekend needed something to push me over the $25 point for free shipping (gets me everytime). I ordered this for our future kids:

It has been recommended to me by many parents and I appreciate the illustrations as they are more accurate than many kids' Bibles (meaning no sandy-blonde, blue-eyed Jesus).