Bawdy George

Seeking Lionel Hutz

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 20:19:00 +0000

I need a good attorney. The Menlo Park police just busted me with their high tech gadgetry. They alleged that I ran a red light at 11:33 pm on September 15, 2008. Let's examine the facts:

Picture 1 claims that I was in front of the stop line .29 seconds after the light turned red:

That is ludacrisp. For the record and according to this picture, the light was yellow .29 seconds before I approached the line. I doubt that any high tech wizadry can detect that time differential.

Picture 2 alleges that I am beyond the stop line with the light visibly red. Ok, I can stipulate this. For the record, I am operating within the speed limit at 28MPH in a 50 MPH zone.

Picture 3 needs no explanation. That is unmistakeably my mug - although I argue that there is an uncanny resemblance to Daisuke Matsuzaka. A blatant abuse of power - to denigrate the citizenry like this. Also, for the record, my eyes and mouth are unusually wide because of the blinding flash from the picture. A safety hazard nonetheless and a fact in my favor, IMHO.

Picture 4 tries to tie it altogether by getting a picture of my license plate. I cropped it for privacy reasons. I can respect the logic here. That takes away my Anthony Kim argument as well.

My court date is approaching so I need some legal counsel. There are some good facts in my favor including, without limitation: the fact that I'm driving a Prius, the fact that I'm operating within the speed zone and the fact that I am driving home from Oakland to the Peninsula after an 8 hour flight on JetBlue visiting the parents, bless their heart. Wish me luck.

My Moot Court days

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 16:41:00 +0000

DMX's performance reminds me of my Moot Court performance back in law school. Wish there was no bleep...

Facebook Beacon has a ton of hope

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 20:26:00 +0000

The answer to this question is a resounding, "Uh, yes." Good to know that "Ab exercises won't get me a cut body" since I had no intention of doing any anyways. Green tea switch is on the radar. "Ultra" green tea sounds intimidating...

Actually, yes, I'm the IT guy

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 20:44:00 +0000

A classic unintentionally hilarious article entitled "7 Things NEVER to Say to Asian-American Executives."

Some nuggets:

"You must be the IT person."

"You're not Asian, you're from India."

I guess I shouldn't find this so hilarious. I'm also lucky that I work from home, I suppose.

The Fortune Cookie Chronicles

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 23:50:00 +0000

No snarky, self-consciously ironic, NSFW post here. Jennifer 8 Lee just wrote a book called, "The Fortune Cookie Chronicles." Haven't read it so I can't hype it but I was pleasantly surprised to see her set the record straight with one fact regarding my Pop, Yongsik Lee. Yes, this is how I went to college. My Dad invented the first fully-automated fortune cookie machine and I witnessed first hand the #1 requirement in starting a business: sweat.

I spent one year writing fortunes and in true outsourcing (ie, laziness) fashion, I hired a Harvard JD/PhD in Philosophy to write the fortunes for me. I paid $.50 per accepted fortune. A true CPI model. A man before my time. I never actually calculated the lifetime value of a fortune so maybe I wasn't really before my time...

Congrats, Jennifer, and look forward to reading your first work!

Threadless.com, Giants-style

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 20:15:00 +0000

I can respect this.

From Busted Coverage.

Rickey Henderson Classic

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 19:50:00 +0000

Among the many terrific Rickey Henderson jokes is the one where Bobby Valentine was reading the newspaper in the dugout, and Rickey Henderson asked him, ‘what paper do you have there?’ and Valentine goes, ‘Wall Street Journal’ and Henderson goes, ‘pass me the sports section.’

From The Big Lead.

Continued Good S*& in the Big East

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 20:47:00 +0000

Huh?

Resilience

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 17:52:00 +0000

We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years.
- Nick Faldo

Boom Goes The Dynamite 2.0

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 16:28:00 +0000

From With Leather. It's actually quite harsh because everyone at some point suffers from speaking anxiety...

High School Yearbook Quotes

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 04:45:00 +0000

An excerpt:

Never say anything maudlin or sentimental about the person you're dating -- you will be linked to them forever and ever. Just remember, when you get to college, you will break up with them by Columbus Day Weekend, probably get back together during Thanksgiving Break, then break up for good during Christmas vacation. Everyone thinks, "Oh, it won't happen to us." Believe me, it's going to happen -- 99 out of 100 people eventually break up with their high school flames. So keep the gooey stuff to minimum. If you're devoting a quote to your significant other, choose this one: "Dead man walking!"

Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here As Fast As He Could

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 15:10:00 +0000

Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here As Fast As He Could

Carter in '08

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 02:22:00 +0000

I Got What America Needs Right Here

Was Axel Foley gay?

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 17:19:00 +0000

During breaks in the Skins-Hawks game, I was flicking over to "Beverly Hills Cop" on one of the HD channels, and maybe it was seeing Jenny Summers' come-hither smirk in high definition for the first time, but how did I never notice the smoldering sexual tension in the scene when Axel brings his old friend Jenny back to his Beverly Hills hotel room and she lays down on his bed and bats her eyelashes at him for a couple of minutes? For God's sake, she did everything but take her clothes off and assume the missionary position, and yet Axel was more interested in ordering room service for Taggart and Rosewood. I don't get it.

Which leads me to my $64,000 question: Was Axel Foley secretly gay?

Steroids by Stallone

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 20:59:00 +0000

Lowest common denominator.

Always go Opus One

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 17:21:00 +0000

Wine-for-sex exchange turns sour.

From Fark.

#1 LSU fan

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 06:26:00 +0000

Disgusted and amused.

Patriots v. Packers

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 17:34:00 +0000

Cowboys are done.

Hottub

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 17:31:00 +0000

Too hot in the hottub...

Eddie Murphy ~ The 5th Beatle

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 17:27:00 +0000

She got a ticket to ride and the...

Joe Piscopo w/ Eddie Murphy as Carl Lewis

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 17:24:00 +0000

I have never seen this and it is an instant classic.So inappropriate.

Stevie Wonder, Joe Piscopo Camera Commercial

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 17:18:00 +0000

So wonderful.

RickRoll'D

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 17:16:00 +0000

Love the move at around 2:21 of the video. Also the evolution of the bartender is inspirational.

Got this from Mr. Simmons.

Sly Stallone - Barbara Walters interview

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 14:13:00 +0000

A true Renaissance Man. Sexual tension is palpable.

F*&% You, Green Team!

noreply@blogger.com (daslee1969) — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 16:33:00 +0000

From FunnyOrDie...