tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315Sat, 21 Jan 2012 09:05:51 +0000Testimoniesdominationrescuersargumentsgenerosityempathic responsehuman needsspiritual challengesOn KillingJason Marshcollaborationgracevulnerabilitysharif abdullahGeneral Strikecommunitycarelife choiceswardreamingpracticetruthconflictsagreementsrepressiondependencespiritual pathresourcesPrivilegeworkplacetraining1%TrustingsinBayNVCgiving upOccupy Movementchoiceemotional intelligencegoldstonespiritualjesusgender inequalitytransformationworld that works for allviolencegovernmentpossibilitieswasting timeself-sufficiencyrestorative justiceideascampsalt marchesSamuel OlinerautonomypriviledgeGOMnormspowerlovejudgmentlearning edgeVietnamreflectionThe Limits of Empathyresolutionsnegotiationsmartin luther king jrgift economysubversivecourageNVC in businessoaklandbay areaagent of my liferumisubmissionunderstandingleadershipradical consciousnessConsciousnessSupportdialoguekillingosama bin-ladenUnpacking the Invisible Knapsackpower-overracial inequalityObamaGrantPearl OlinerresilientdifferencesactivistNonviolent CommunicationdiversityIn Your Own WordsNVC in the workplaceuprisingRichard Eskowisrael/palestineMilgramgivingparentingNonviolenceDavid Brookscompassion99%punishmentfaulthow we shiftfinitudeEgyptian RevolutionInner FreedomArab SpringcharityfocusdisempowermentrebellionTea PartyblameteenagerPeggy McIntoshfearoccupy wall streetconsciousclass privilegediscouragementmanagementsocial transformationmoralityfull expressionattachmentcancerorganizationsrequestsauthenticitymaking collaboration realgandhiCivil Rights MovementScott Olsenahimsacommodity based economydemandsThe Color of FearcontroversyOakland Policebossesrelationshipspower to create changeDemocratsCivil Rightsfreedomvaluescity workersEmpathy Teamchallengestragedysocietyholocausthumilitythriving relationshipsnuclear powergroup dynamicsThe Fearless Heart CourseCollaborative Decision MakingfuturewaitingIndependence DaycooperationauthorityparadoxsecurityRevolutioneconomyking jrseparationpower of wordslanguageneedsgratitudepractical inclusionIdo Selasalarydespairbullyingconflict resolutionfukushimaRepublicansfacilitationDecision MakingrespectMehserleNew York Timescopingthrivingoccupywallstreetbeing seen for who I amerrorsauthoritariantom shadyachubrismatteringFrank Ogawa PlazaactivisEgyptian RevolutionOccupyOaklandnonviolent resistancespiritual practiceresponsibilityOccupy OaklandTelecoursetrustconnectionrepentancechangeconsciousness Transformationdefensivenessorganizingcomplexityyom kippurhitlerprotestspresenceshameself-acceptanceverdictwhat I wantfeedbackactivismdesireworking togetherdiverse groupstogethernessWhite Priviledgeempathyi amtikkunwomenscarcitychildrenjudgementvisionpoliticsemployeescultureinterdependenceMayor Jean QuangoalscommunicationreasoningconservativesNVC AcademyoptionsNVCDavid GrossmanLiberalsconflictexpressparentsstructural powerproductive meetingsintimacycriticismwantingConsensusaggressiondon't give upconflict. lovehttp://baynvc.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)Blogger118125http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/http://creativecommons.org/images/public/somerights20.gifbaynvchttp://feedburner.google.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-1452550717066331039Wed, 11 Jan 2012 17:51:00 +00002012-01-11T10:12:03.012-08:0099%Occupy MovementOakland Policecollaborationcity workersworld that works for allsalarytragedyby Miki KashtanAt first, the numbers were clear to me. There was the 1% of the population, and there were the 99%. The division was based on income and on assets. The 1% made 20.3% of the income in 2006, averaging $1,243,516. They owned 34.6% of total assets in 2007 and 42.7% of total financial assets. The 99% was everyone else. This picture, upsetting as it is, made some sense to me. Then it gothttp://baynvc.blogspot.com/2012/01/there-must-be-more-than-100-of-us.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-8891179872141545571Tue, 03 Jan 2012 20:49:00 +00002012-01-03T13:03:47.744-08:00trustTelecourseNVC AcademyThe Fearless Heart CoursecourageNVCby Miki KashtanWhen I look back at my life and examine decisions I’ve made, starting this blog stands out to me as a decision that required a great deal of courage and which catapulted me to a new level of visibility and therefore exposure to the possibility of contributing to what I value. In the very early days I didn’t post anything before having someone read it. I was afraid to expose myself http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2012/01/invitation.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-8713933606803644356Wed, 07 Dec 2011 22:14:00 +00002011-12-07T14:54:13.695-08:00copinggift economypower to create changecommunityrelationshipsfuturepossibilitiesagent of my lifewaitingby Miki Kashtan(I am back from a three-week hiatus. For the time being, I am not writing about the Occupy Movement, though I imagine I will return to this theme.)In April, 2004, in the last week of her life, my former colleague Julie Greene participated, with my sister Inbal and with me, at one of our intensive residential retreats. We all listened for those few moments when she would wake up andhttp://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/12/starting-future-today.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-1408422128873681051Wed, 16 Nov 2011 01:23:00 +00002011-11-15T18:15:43.304-08:00repressionfacilitationOccupy OaklandOccupy MovementMayor Jean QuanOakland PoliceNonviolenceoccupy wall streetcampVietnamby Miki KashtanEarly morning on Monday, November 14th, the Oakland Police once again evacuated the OccupyOakland camp. That was the day I was planning to attend the facilitation committee meeting. Being unsure about whether or not a meeting would take place, and knowing how long it would be before I could attend a meeting again, I decide to take a chance and go.The plaza is barricaded on all http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/11/in-face-of-repression-notes-from.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-6704924409745990121Fri, 11 Nov 2011 20:15:00 +00002011-11-11T14:23:26.337-08:001%visionsubmissiongandhiOccupy Oaklandempathyautonomyrebellionking jrOccupy Movementauthoritarianrestorative justiceGeneral StrikeArab Springsocial transformationfreedomby Miki KashtanEver since the beginning of the Arab Spring, and especially since the early days of the Occupy movement in the US, I have been following the wave of unrest that’s been sweeping the globe with great interest. I have visited the Oakland Occupation and participated in the general strike on Nov. 2nd. I have been writing about my amazement, my humility, and my concerns for some weeks. http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/11/why-victory-wouldnt-be-enough-notes.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-560186641980918089Tue, 01 Nov 2011 20:59:00 +00002011-11-18T14:28:13.121-08:00facilitationOccupy Oaklandsharif abdullahproductive meetingsCollaborative Decision Makingargumentspractical inclusionhuman needsdialogueConsensusleadershiphow we shiftby Miki KashtanOn October 18th I participated in the general assembly meeting in OccupyOakland. On October 22nd I posted a piece about that experience, which I named In Search of Dialogue. Even before writing that piece I have been engaging in my mind with the large question of decision-making in this movement. Since I posted this piece, I have received many comments and have read much that http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/11/beyond-consensus-or-majority-notes.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-4825478442572843458Fri, 28 Oct 2011 21:37:00 +00002011-10-28T15:17:11.758-07:00Occupy OaklandMayor Jean QuanScott OlsenNonviolencecompassionoccupy wall streetconflict. loveby Miki Kashtan“It is not nonviolence if we merely love those that love us. It is nonviolence only when we love those that hate us.” -- GandhiI have not been to OccupyOakland since Saturday. For almost two days, no one was there, as police blockaded the area after destroying the camp early Tuesday morning. As of Wednesday night, occupiers broke through the police blockade and reentered the plaza.http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/10/love-in-wake-of-violence-notes-from.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-2289078735382284175Mon, 24 Oct 2011 23:44:00 +00002011-10-24T17:28:18.663-07:00martin luther king jrNonviolent CommunicationRevolutionnonviolent resistanceOccupy Oaklandsharif abdullahNonviolenceNVCOccupyOaklandoaklandactivisEgyptian Revolutionby Miki KashtanOn my third visit to OccupyOakland, I co-led two workshops hosted by Nichola Torbett, founder of Seminary of the Street. In both of them I collaborated with Nichola and with Kazu Haga, an Oakland-based Kingian Nonviolence trainer. The conversations that emerged in these workshops, along with a recent post by Sharif Abdullah about vision implementation, form the basis of what I am http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/10/does-nonviolence-work-notes-from.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-7493054452089627991Sat, 22 Oct 2011 19:18:00 +00002011-10-22T13:01:49.057-07:00Nonviolent CommunicationcultureOccupy OaklandCollaborative Decision MakingcommunitycollaborationOccupyOaklanddialogueoccupywallstreetconflictby Miki KashtanAfter my first visit to OccupyOakland I felt inspired. I was connected to the vision, to a sense of possibility. I was fully open to the unfolding, to seeing what would come. I’ve been very encouraged by the response I’ve been getting to my post about that visit.Before I posted those notes I had a second visit to OccupyOakland, and my current picture is very different, more nuancedhttp://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/10/in-search-of-dialogue-notes-from.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-8948036406730912152Tue, 18 Oct 2011 18:32:00 +00002011-10-18T11:55:43.038-07:00martin luther king jrdreamingdemandsNonviolent CommunicationvisiongoalsOccupy OaklandprotestsNVCFrank Ogawa PlazaOccupyOaklandby Miki KashtanThe OccupyOakland I visited on October 15th was not a protest. You could say that I knew it, because I have read about it before I was there. I still couldn’t understand it fully until I saw what it meant. I suspect the same is true elsewhere, though I will not presume to know. A protest, in some fundamental way, engages with the existing power structures. What I saw, instead, was http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/10/alternative-to-demands-notes-from.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-2592772849429961907Thu, 13 Oct 2011 18:53:00 +00002011-10-13T16:48:56.562-07:00New York TimesJason MarshTrustingDavid BrooksempathySamuel OlinerfearIdo SelaPearl OlinerMilgramDavid GrossmanOn KillingTestimoniesThe Limits of Empathyshameby Miki KashtanCan empathy serve as a reliable guide to action? David Brooks, in his recent article “The Limits of Empathy,” suggests that empathy is no guarantee that caring action will take place. Participants in Milgram’s famous 1950s experiments willingly inflicted what they thought were near-lethal electric shocks despite suffering tremendously. Nazi executors early in the war wept while http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/10/beyond-limits-of-empathy.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-3461747417707300355Mon, 10 Oct 2011 19:33:00 +00002011-10-10T12:57:22.180-07:00martin luther king jrCivil Rights MovementgandhiNonviolenceprotestssharif abdullahRichard EskowCivil RightsRevolutionsalt marchesoccupy wall streetuprisingoccupywallstreetby Miki KashtanIn a few days the Occupy Wall Street movement arrives in my town, Oakland, and I am thinking a lot about what I want to do. As I reflect on what’s been happening in the last number of weeks, I feel quite uplifted and so, so relieved. For months I was watching with growing discomfort the absence of action in the US while nonviolent resistance was spreading like wildfire to more and http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/10/bringing-salt-march-to-wall-street.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-4116857457706445776Sat, 08 Oct 2011 00:44:00 +00002011-10-07T18:27:31.813-07:00optionschoiceparentsparentingchildrenfreedomby Miki KashtanWhen I was twelve my family moved from Israel to Mexico for two years. This decision happened immediately following the first year in my young life, and one of the only times in my life overall, that I had a sense of belonging and acceptance in a group of peers. The decision was made by my parents without consulting with any of us: my seventeen-year-old sister, myself, or my http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/10/by-miki-kashtan-when-i-was-twelve-my.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-5340110246638045495Thu, 06 Oct 2011 00:40:00 +00002011-10-05T18:24:35.725-07:00spiritual practicematteringdesirevulnerabilityattachmentwantingby Miki KashtanI am emerging from another hiatus in writing. This one was the longest since I started my blog. I just came back home 10 days ago from two intensive back-to-back trips, and I am here for a while. I’ve been missing regular contact with this medium which I have come to love. I seem to have increased capacity for writing, again, and I anticipate that as I begin to do more of it, the http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/10/why-wanting-matters.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-4684783528960636674Fri, 02 Sep 2011 20:42:00 +00002011-09-02T14:45:07.025-07:00what I wantspiritual pathdiscouragementvulnerabilityauthenticitywasting timefull expressionbeing seen for who I amby Miki KashtanYou may have noticed that I haven’t posted anything on my blog for some weeks now. This is a first since I started my blog. This is no accident, and not even entirely based on having a lot on my plate. These past weeks have been very challenging in multiple ways. The effort it would have taken to pull myself out of that state in order to focus on writing was beyond my capacity http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/09/challenges-in-real-time.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-2366862104944024358Mon, 22 Aug 2011 02:58:00 +00002011-08-21T20:04:43.452-07:00by Miki Kashtan I am writing to issue an invitation to anyone who lives locally and would like to participate in celebrating the completion of writing my book Reweaving Our Human Fabric: Transforming the Legacy of Separation into a Future of Collaboration. The event is tomorrow, August 22, 2011, at 6pm. The evening starts with a potluck dinner, and then a program that includes reading from thehttp://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/08/reweaving-our-human-fabric-last-minute.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-4880164355717601950Mon, 15 Aug 2011 19:58:00 +00002011-08-15T12:58:57.476-07:00judgementblamerelationshipsempathyspiritual challengesspiritualsecurityresilientresponsibilityfaultchallengesfreedomby Miki Kashtan Nina (not her real name) was beside herself with anguish. For months she was convinced that Simon’s (another fictitious name) relationship with his ex-girlfriend still had unfinished business. He acknowledged it, and they talked about it again and again, without any relief in sight. He was responding defensively instead of being able to hear her pain, and they spiraled, http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/08/expressing-our-pain-without-blame.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-7672101252585116112Sat, 06 Aug 2011 05:10:00 +00002011-08-06T12:30:13.318-07:00working togetherfeedbackcollaborationemployeesworkplacemanagementchangeNVC in the workplacedisempowermentbossesby Miki Kashtan Lately, I have been invited to support managers at different levels who attempt to embrace a collaborative approach to management within their organizations. Despite their clear intentions and strong commitment, I have seen a pattern arise that slows down and sometimes even subverts their efforts. The good news is that tips exist for addressing the factors that interact to create http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/08/from-mistrust-to-collaboration.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-2485041965285272058Sat, 30 Jul 2011 22:49:00 +00002011-07-30T15:49:29.871-07:00giving uprelationshipsconnectionnormsvulnerabilitysubversiveseparationdon't give upby Miki Kashtan One of the things I do in life is talk to strangers whenever I have any inkling of a possible human connection, however momentary. These acts feel precious and a little subversive. Talking about these moments feels oddly more vulnerable than the act of reaching for the connection in the first place, and so I rarely do it. Yesterday I experienced two in a row that were so http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/07/transcending-norms-of-separation.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-6617965101825774879Mon, 25 Jul 2011 17:53:00 +00002011-07-25T10:53:01.800-07:00authoritylife choicesrespectteenagerparentingempathyautonomyconflictby Miki Kashtan In my previous post I shared two examples of how a conflict can be transformed by being held together with another as a shared dilemma: what can we do here to respond to both of our needs? Today I want to illustrate with a third example between father and teenage daughter. Sharing Responsibility with a Teenager Bob, the divorced father of a 15 year old, was struggling with a http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/07/holding-tough-dilemmas-together-part-2.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-6140319322713913041Sat, 23 Jul 2011 23:48:00 +00002011-07-23T16:48:54.595-07:00understandinglife choicesDecision Makingconflictscollaborationdifferencestogethernessvaluescancerby Miki Kashtan No matter what we do and where we are, life always presents us with an unending succession of things to work out with other people. Those range from inconsequentials like going to a Thai or Chinese restaurant with a friend all the way to major differences in values, worldview, or life choices. Whether or not such differences turn into conflicts depends largely on how we face http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/07/holding-tough-dilemmas-together.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-4785599593531884821Fri, 15 Jul 2011 19:32:00 +00002011-07-15T13:24:47.230-07:00trustunderstandingNonviolent Communicationpresenceempathyby Miki Kashtan “The capacity to give one’s attention to a sufferer is a very rare and difficult thing; it is almost a miracle; it is a miracle. Nearly all those who think they have the capacity do not possess it.” – Simone Weil An astonishing paradox I witness regularly is how, time and again, we long for others’ presence when we are suffering, and yet when others are suffering we reassure, http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/07/musings-on-empathy.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-286831501697375489Fri, 08 Jul 2011 14:36:00 +00002011-07-08T14:18:15.913-07:00ConsciousnessNonviolent CommunicationIn Your Own WordscaretruthpracticeaggressionNVCteenagerpower of wordsauthenticityexpresslanguageby Miki Kashtan The Hebrew Bible tells us that "death and life come through the power of the tongue." My father, who was a (mostly) lay linguist, raised all three of his daughters to be in awe of the power of words to create effects. It’s no wonder that I have dedicated my life to a methodology and a practice that put so much emphasis on choice of words to convey meaning and to create inner and http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/07/truth-care-and-words.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-7019586589113415943Mon, 04 Jul 2011 03:59:00 +00002011-07-03T20:59:40.080-07:00Independence DayparentscommunitycollaborationthrivingresourcesInner Freedomself-sufficiencycommodity based economyinterdependencedependencechildrenresponsibilityfreedomby Miki Kashtan Tomorrow is the 4th of July, a national holiday of independence in the USA. I am drawn to reflecting on the topic, and especially how it plays out in the North American culture within which I live and work. Independence is one of the highest values in this culture. Its two interweaving strands of meaning appear as a rejection of dependence, of being in need of others, at their http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/07/redefining-independence.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-2220874137665177605Sun, 03 Jul 2011 23:51:00 +00002011-07-03T16:51:37.825-07:00 Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey, the world's leading questionnaire tool. Email readers: you can also view and respond to this post at www.baynvc.blogspot.com.http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2011/07/requests-for-feedback.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)3