tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315Tue, 31 Mar 2026 07:10:01 +0000empathyNonviolenceNVCcollaborationgandhitrustworkplacechangechildrencommunitypowerconflictfeedbackvulnerabilityCollaborative Decision MakingNonviolent CommunicationOccupy MovementOccupy OaklandleadershiploveNVC in the workplacecouragedialoguefreedomrelationshipsNVC in businessauthenticityautonomychoicecompassioninterdependenceisrael/palestinemartin luther king jrpunishmentself-acceptanceshamecareconservativeshumilityneedsnonviolent resistanceparentingpower differencesproductive meetingsrebellionresponsibilitysharif abdullahtruthviolenceLiberalsMartin Luther KingOccupyOaklandPrivilegeblamebullyingcommitmentcomplexityconflict. loveconnectionempathic responseempowermentfacilitationfeargratitudeholocaustlanguagematteringmoralityoccupy wall streetorganizationsosama bin-ladenpoliticsprotestsrequestsrestorative justicespiritual pathsubmissionvisionBayNVCCivil Rights MovementDavid BrooksDecision MakingHealingHierarchyIndiaInner FreedomMayor Jean QuanMehserleNVC AcademyOakland PoliceObamaRevolutionSupportactivismagreementsargumentsassumption of innocenceauthoritybeing seen for who I amcancerchallengesclass privilegeconflict resolutionconsciousness Transformationcooperationculturedefensivenessdemandsdespairdifferencesdreamingeconomyequalityevilfairnessfaithgenerositygift economygoldstonegraceinner peaceisolationjudgmentjudgmentskillinglife choicesmaking collaboration realmoneynuclear poweroaklandoccupywallstreetparentsperfectionpower of wordsracial inequalityresilienceresponding to people in powersafetyseparationsinsocial transformationspiritualspiritual practiceteenagertragedyunderstandingwomen1%99%A Force More PowerfulAlice MillerAmbedkarArab SpringBarefoot CollegeBrene BrownBuddhismCapitalismCharles EisensteinChinaCivil RightsClear VisionCommonwealCommunismConsciousnessConsensusDOMADalit Freedom NetworkDavid GrossmanDelhiDemocratsDynamic FacilitationEgyptian RevolutionEmpathy TeamFor Your Own GoodFrank Ogawa PlazaFreudGOMGeneral StrikeGentlenessGood Do BadGrantGujaratHeartIdo SelaIn Your Own WordsIndependence DayIs there No Other WayIsraelJames GilliganJames LawsonJason MarshJewsJonathan HaidtMahatmaMaking Life WorkMichael NaglerMilgramMoraltiyNVCANew York TimesOn KillingPatch AdamsPearl OlinerPeggy McIntoshProp 8RepublicansRichard EskowRobert BalesSamuel OlinerScott OlsenSmall StepsSociocracySteve WinemanSupreme CourtTea PartyTelecourseTestimoniesThanksgivingThe Color of FearThe Fearless Heart CourseThe Limits of EmpathyThe Powers That BeThriveTime magazineTom AttleeTransformaionTrayvon MartinTrustingUnpacking the Invisible KnapsackVietnamVoting Rights ActWalmartWalter WinkWhite PriviledgeZionismaccepting our limitationsactivisEgyptian Revolutionactivistagent of my lifeaggressionagreementahimsaattachmentauthoritarianbay areablind spotsbossbossescalledcampcharityfocuscity workerscodependencycomfortcommodity based economycommunicationconflictsconsciousconstructive programcontroversycopingcreating communitycriticismcurse wordsdalitsdebtdemocracydependencedepending on othersdepressiondesirediscouragementdisempowermentdiverse groupsdiversitydomestic violencedominationdon't give upemotionemotional intelligenceemotional needsemployeesengaging with people who have harmed usentitlementerrorsexpressfamiliesfaultfinitudeforward panicfrancois beausoleilfukushimafull expressionfuturegender inequalitygivinggiving upgoalsgood willgovernmentgroup dynamicshitlerhospitalhow we shifthubrishuman dignityhuman naturehuman needshungry ghostsi amideasimagining a different responseindependenceintimacyjesusjudgementjusticeking jrlayofflearning edgemale privledgemanagementmarketingmediationmutualnegotiationsnight schoolsnormsopennessoptionsorganizingothernessparadoxparentpersonalpitfallspossibilitiespower to create changepower-overpractical inclusionpracticepresencepriviledgeradical consciousnessreasonreasoningreflectionrepentancerepressionrescuersresilientresolutionsresolving conflictsresourcesrespectright and wrongrightsrole-playrosenbergrumisalarysalt marchesscarcitysecurityself-sufficiencyself-understandingselfish genesocial movementssocial problemssocietysociologysolidaritysorrowspiritual challengesstructural powersubversivesufferingtaboothrivingthriving relationshipstikkuntikkun olamtogethernesstom shadyactrainingtransformationuntouchalbesuprisingurge to controlvaluesverdictwaging nonviolencewaitingwantingwarwasting timewaterwhat I wantworking togetherworld that works for allyom kippurhttp://baynvc.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)Blogger232125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-5326223396042851435Sun, 21 Sep 2014 04:51:00 +00002014-09-21T07:44:00.216-07:00by Miki Kashtan [Editor's note: This piece was posted on Miki's new blog site today. We are also posting it here for any subscriber to this site who hasn't subscribed to the new site. To do so go to this page and put your email into the Subscribe to Miki's Blog via Email box at right. This is the last item we will post on this site.] <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2014/09/loss-empty-space-and-community.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-3382966926991790196Thu, 03 Apr 2014 21:15:00 +00002014-08-06T15:26:40.522-07:00 &nbsp; The Fearless Heart has a beautiful new website. From now on, please visit us there.&nbsp; &nbsp; You can subscribe to the blog (receive an email every time a post is made there) by clicking on the subscribe box at top right on this page. http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2014/04/we-have-moved-check-out-our-new-website.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-4035156893864913418Thu, 30 Jan 2014 23:10:00 +00002014-01-30T15:25:15.798-08:00dialoguelayoffMaking Life Workby Miki KashtanPerhaps because this year I am teaching a yearlong telecourse (in four independent parts) on The Art and Craft of Dialogue, I’ve been more deeply attuned to the largely unknown power of dialogue to create entirely unexpected results. In those moments, when the veil of separation drops, at least momentarily, and we stand in the magic of finding a path forward that truly works for http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2014/01/remarkable-conversations-unexpected.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-2033916918556917466Wed, 08 Jan 2014 19:49:00 +00002014-01-08T11:56:41.897-08:00 by Miki Kashtan You may not know that my posts here are also posted on the Tikkun Daily blog and on Psychology Today.&nbsp; I am extremely happy to reach these quite different audiences - sometimes the comments on each of the three sites show how different they are. On this site more people already know about NVC. On Tikkun Daily more people are focused on social and political change, and howhttp://baynvc.blogspot.com/2014/01/do-you-know-tikkun-daily.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-8332252444197039178Sat, 04 Jan 2014 16:20:00 +00002016-02-22T14:46:15.593-08:00 by Miki Kashtan I know that Israel is home, even after 30 years, because when I landed, exhausted and disoriented by the bitter cold and fury of the worst storm in decades, all I wanted was to go eat the food every child in Israel knows, the food I thought was Israeli until I learned it was actually Palestinian, adopted and adapted by the Jews who came to live in that land. Going home, after http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2014/01/israel-palestine-home-me-part-ii.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-8298759414169775359Thu, 02 Jan 2014 19:29:00 +00002014-01-02T11:40:15.128-08:00 by Miki KashtanI imagine it’s not just me; that visiting a country we’ve left would be a complex mix for anyone, regardless of reason for leaving, assuming we had leaving as an option. I am writing this piece on the airplane, going home, to where I live, from the place that still feels like home, the home I still wouldn’t wish to go back to. And I’ve been writing this piece, and the next one, http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2014/01/israel-palestine-home-me-part-i.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-4739318888702818177Wed, 18 Dec 2013 22:41:00 +00002013-12-18T14:52:51.466-08:00 by Miki Kashtan Recently, one of my colleagues posted a question on the listserve that we share, where she asked us to comment on how we differentiate between needs and motives or motivations. Since I’ve been thinking for a long time about similar questions, I decided to take up this opportunity to engage with this question, which I find both intriguing and deeply significant.&nbsp; http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/12/why-do-we-do-what-we-do.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-5615135557850053836Sat, 07 Dec 2013 00:12:00 +00002013-12-06T16:14:52.275-08:00 by Miki KashtanIf I thought I was treading difficult territory when starting to write about money, writing about sex feels even more risky. It’s even more private, in some ways more charged, and equally considered off limits. I am only doing it because the conversation I had with a dear friend was so inspiring to us, that it seemed to me that what emerged might offer something of value to http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/12/sex-vulnerability-and-power.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-8812417754576267326Wed, 27 Nov 2013 17:45:00 +00002013-11-27T10:00:07.478-08:00defensivenessjudgmentsPrivilegeTime magazineby Miki KashtanA week ago Sunday, a friend sent me a link to a story about Time Magazine covers. According to the article, the magazine has different covers for its US edition as compared to its three other editions (Europe, Asia, South Pacific): the former focus on personal issues and feelings while the latter on international events of significance. Although the assertion itself has been http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/11/what-we-know-and-dont-know.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-4557002570419987697Fri, 22 Nov 2013 17:52:00 +00002013-11-22T10:04:15.126-08:00by Miki KashtanThe idea for this piece came to me when I read a comment on an earlier blog post. The specific content of that post (which was about race), is not the issue here. Rather, it was two references to “ego” which caught my attention and got me thinking for all these months. Here they are as context: “The only use for these false values are to enhance the ego’s sense of separateness, http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/11/ego-mind-and-culture.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-326071535855546134Wed, 13 Nov 2013 18:48:00 +00002013-11-13T15:46:52.526-08:00by Miki Kashtan In last week’s piece, I looked at some fundamental questions related to money and resources. Today, I want to move from the general and abstract to the personal and practical. There are various reasons for wanting to make it personal, ranging from my desire to support people in making their own personal choices about money with much more awareness to the modeling of transparencyhttp://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/11/money-value-and-our-choices.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-1516714158304387342Thu, 07 Nov 2013 23:24:00 +00002013-11-08T12:02:55.510-08:00by Miki Kashtan(This piece is a slightly modified excerpt from my upcoming book, Spinning Threads of Radical Aliveness: Transcending the Legacy of Separation in Our Individual Lives, which is scheduled to come out early in 2014.) My vision is of a world in which needs are routinely met, in which the experience of need satisfaction is the norm rather than the exception. Considering how far http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/11/money-needs-and-resources.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-8206750880814880461Fri, 01 Nov 2013 00:36:00 +00002013-10-31T17:36:23.537-07:00 by Miki KashtanOne of the questions that keep coming up in discussions within the community of Nonviolent Communication trainers is how to become more effective at bringing Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to a level where it may support significant cultural change. Most recently, someone calculated that in order to train, for example, the UK armed forces, it would take 7,000 training days just http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/10/personal-change-structural-change-and.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-1240900344371753596Thu, 24 Oct 2013 00:20:00 +00002013-10-24T10:04:50.522-07:00languagelovetruthby Miki Kashtan There is no question that my love of language is an inherited trait. My father was a lay linguist, in addition to being a teacher, writer, and public intellectual. In the last few years of his life, in his fifties, he went back to school to get a Ph.D. in linguistics, a project he didn’t complete due to illness. Not having a degree didn’t stop him from writing and continuing tohttp://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/10/language-meaning-and-consciousness.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-676294358884119787Fri, 18 Oct 2013 19:27:00 +00002013-10-18T13:03:28.058-07:00by Miki Kashtan There are three ways of dealing with difference: domination, compromise, and integration. By domination only one side gets what it wants; by compromise neither side gets what it wants; by integration we find a way by which both sides may get what they wish. -- Mary Parker Follett A couple of days ago, I was approached by someone asking me to videotape some responses to the http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-saga-of-writing-about-government.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-4657584194432852936Thu, 10 Oct 2013 18:58:00 +00002013-10-10T14:48:52.809-07:00 by Miki KashtanAs much as I have read and heard about Gandhi for years, it is only recently that I have become acquainted with the complex vision he had of trusteeship. In essence, as I understand it, Gandhi proposed that anything material that goes beyond the elusive notion of need satisfaction (which I discussed last week) be viewed as held in trust for service. In preparation for writing http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/10/gandhi-trusteeship-and-commons.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-7335697543090845633Wed, 02 Oct 2013 21:44:00 +00002013-10-02T15:04:01.500-07:00by Miki KashtanAs this entry is being posted, it’s Gandhi’s birthday. Given how much I have been influenced, even transformed, by learning from Gandhi about nonviolence, I wanted to write something to honor his legacy. Because I’ve recently started a mini-series on money, I decided to focus on a lesser known aspect of Gandhi’s work: his views about economics.&nbsp; At first sight, many of http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/10/gandhian-economics-universal-well-being.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-7964938132557362647Thu, 26 Sep 2013 00:30:00 +00002013-09-25T18:00:50.181-07:00israel/palestineMartin Luther Kingpower differencesSteve Winemanby Miki Kashtan I am not so keen on the idea that power corrupts, and have already discussed this to some extent in an earlier post. My difficulty with this framing is multiple. For one thing, this saying maintains the pervasive belief that power is bad in and of itself, a belief that can only result in perpetuating itself, since it will keep many people away from taking power lest they http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-powerless-are-not-necessarily-pure.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-3002021355558878669Thu, 19 Sep 2013 17:27:00 +00002013-09-19T10:27:45.303-07:00autonomyCollaborative Decision Makinginterdependenceby Miki KashtanOne of the cornerstones of our modern culture, the great reward that arose from being freed from earlier feudal times, is the idea of personal rights, the freedom to make decisions for ourselves. In the countries that are categorized as liberal democracies, this freedom is often sacrosanct. Once we reach adulthood, and assuming our specific group is not barred from having civil http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/09/dialogue-decision-making-and-mattering.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-3028809047719898897Sat, 14 Sep 2013 19:10:00 +00002013-09-14T12:12:10.980-07:00gift economymoneyby Miki Kashtan from Occupy Wall Street I have written about money before, though not much. It’s been a complex topic to address. Because it’s so central to our way of life in modern times, both individually and globally, I feel drawn to address it, to excavate meaning, to find and support freedom in relation to it. Because it’s so loaded, I can’t imagine writing about it without ruffling http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/09/venturing-into-risky-waters-talking.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-4572395020978746394Thu, 05 Sep 2013 23:16:00 +00002013-09-05T16:23:31.582-07:00childrenchoicepower differences by Miki KashtanOne of the most common questions any child I know asks her or his parents is a deceptively simple one: “Can I …?” This question is so common, so familiar, that we carry it with us into adulthood, and often address each other in the same way. We especially are prone to using this question when speaking with people who are in positions of authority. Two passions of mine combine in http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/09/can-i.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-2417808950699232095Thu, 29 Aug 2013 22:36:00 +00002013-08-30T08:50:19.231-07:00by Miki KashtanFor a long time now I have been troubled by the way Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is often presented and perceived. In our culture, and in several other industrialized, modernized countries I have been to, it is typically seen as a path to personal growth, such as an alternative to therapy, or a way to resolve relationship issues. For me, this focus has been limited. Instead, morehttp://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/08/personal-liberation-and-personal-growth.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-6370993974803178767Fri, 23 Aug 2013 19:10:00 +00002013-08-25T09:11:43.988-07:00 by Miki KashtanOne of the most common responses when someone expresses upset about our actions is something along the lines of the statement “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Any of us who have heard this kind of response know how little it offers, and yet we keep doing it. I’ve wondered about this for some time. What is clear to me is that this response shifts the focus from the effect of actions http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/08/intention-and-effect.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-8862275990027243576Sat, 17 Aug 2013 14:53:00 +00002013-08-17T07:53:05.881-07:00 by Miki Kashtan When I was leading a retreat in Ohio a couple of months ago, I was bussing my dishes one day, later than we had been asked to do it. The person who works at the kitchen, prepping, serving, and cleaning, was there in that moment. So I said something like: “I am regretting bringing the dishes here so much later than the time that we were asked and making life harder for you. I washttp://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/08/being-powerful-in-moment.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-6112340534980339735Thu, 15 Aug 2013 05:57:00 +00002013-08-14T22:57:25.767-07:00by Miki Kashtan After several years of blogging quite regularly, I am getting ready to upgrade myself to a new platform on Wordpress, and to do a variety of things (publish two books, create some learning products, etc) all of which could benefit from having a logo. Amazingly enough, I have been gifted with the voluntary contribution of a graphic designer and NVC person from India. I love her http://baynvc.blogspot.com/2013/08/invitation-to-help-me-choose-logo.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Miki Kashtan)8