When somebody is going through the grief process, it’s easy to become uncomfortable and want to rush things. It’s easy to try to push the process forward. But that’s not what I see Jesus doing in Scripture – at least not when Lazarus died.

Jesus wept.  So the Jews said, “See  how he loved him!”
John 11:35-36

Nope. Jesus entered into the grieving process with Mary. And his love was clear to those around him.

Now, I’m not suggesting that it’s right for us to wallow in grief. That we shouldn’t care enough to help our friends and family work through grief and come out the other side. But maybe we need to give them time to grieve.

A “kind of” personal story

A couple of years ago one of my uncles lost his wife. It was a difficult time for him – they’d been together decades and she was his best friend. They are strong in their faith, so he wasn’t concerned about eternity but he was hurting.

My mom felt deeply that what God would have her do was be part of grieving. To be there so he could cry and talk. So he could remember the good times. So he could have somebody laugh and cry with him. And that’s what she did.

I see so much grace and scripture in her approach. I see so much of God’s love in what she did. She knew that he knew the Scriptures and didn’t need somebody to cover over his pain with an anesthetic comment. Rather, he needed to heal.

What’s cool is this: I believe that God allowed my mom to offer His grace to my uncle (her brother) in ways that wouldn’t have been possible if she tried to move things forward herself. I believe he’s in a better place because she listened and cried and laughed with him.

Note: When I wrote this last week I had no idea how timely it would be. We are now grieving the loss of a dear friend along with her husband and family. We have been deeply blessed to know them and are crying with them and praying for them.

Will you do that for somebody?

I hope that some day I have the emotional depth and the spiritual perception to do that kind of thing for somebody else. I don’t think it will be easy or comfortable. But I want to be part of God’s compassion living and breathing on the Earth.

How about you? Will you show God’s love to somebody who is struggling through a difficult time? Will you laugh and cry with somebody who’s grieving the loss of a loved one?

It might make all the difference.

Don’t Rush Things is a post from bdentzy - Bryan Entzminger.

The mist in your mind will eventually become a fog in your organization
Andy Stanley at the Chick-fil-A Leadercast

The Mist in Your Mind [quote] #CFALeadercast is a post from bdentzy - Bryan Entzminger.

photo credit: Walt Stoneburner on Flickr

How to handle an Action Deficit

An action deficit, like a cash flow deficit, can be handled multiple ways. We can:

1. Ignore the problem and hope it goes away (not smart)
2. Allow the loudest priorities to control our actions
3. Develop and carry out a plan that will lead to success

Obviously, the first plan – ignoring things – is simply unwise. But so often we actually do allow the priorities of others and their ability to be the loudest control what gets our attention. I know what both of these are like because I constantly fight the temptation to approach my own overwhelm in those ways.

There is a better way

Begin with the end in mind
Stephen Covey

The better way, though, is to be crystal clear on what is most important. In every context. Be crystal clear on what is most important in your family. Be crystal clear on what is most important in your business or to the company you work for. Be crystal clear on what is most important in your department. And your church. And in your relationships. And in your health.

OK, I get it.

Then, develop a plan to reorganize your activities put your best time towards the things that are the most important. I can’t tell you exactly what that will look like because I don’t know your specific situation. But I can tell you that knowing what is most important will help.

Finally, put the plan into action. Reorganize your schedule (I get up at 5AM most days to pray, read the Bible, and write in a journal – and I’m not a morning person). Have some frank discussions if necessary. And schedule a weekly check-in with yourself or an accountability partner to keep yourself on track.

That sounds easy

Well, yes, it does sound easy. But it’s not easy, it’s simple and straightforward but not easy. Or at least it wasn’t easy for me, and it’s still a struggle from time to time. I come back to these principles weekly, sometimes daily and wrestle them back into place. I still struggle.

Take the first step first

So, since it’s not easy, just take the first step. Then take the second.

Do you know where you are in this? Take a deep assessment of where you are and how you’re spending your time (track your time if you need to) and then compare that with what’s most important to you, your boss and customers, your family, and so on. If you like what you see, keep going. If not, take the next steps.

• Get clear on your priorities
• Create a plan to spend your best time on those priorities
• Arrange your schedule and commitments
• Check in often

The question

Can you share the story of a time when you successfully changed how you were spending your time to do what was the most important? If so, what did you do and how did you do it?

Photo credit: Walt Stoneburner

The Action Defecit is a post from bdentzy - Bryan Entzminger.

You can only feel good about what you’re not doing if you know what it is.

David Allen at the Chick-fil-A Leadercast

Feel Good About What You’re Not Doing #CFALeadercast [quote] is a post from bdentzy - Bryan Entzminger.

Leadership Made Simple

1. What are we doing?
2. Why are we doing in?
3. Where do I fit in?

If his three questions don’t work for you, I’d urge you to spend some time finding the place of simplicity where you can center yourself.

He said he wrote his out by hand out on a 3 x 5 card. If you want to print out the picture above and hang it on your wall, go for it. If you want to write it out by hand on a 3 x 5 card (or 5 x 8 if you’re feeling crazy), feel free. But write it down.

Why write it down?

I’m glad you asked. Because it’s precisely when we’re most likely to need to remember that we’re likely to forget. It’s when life is complex that it’s hard to find the place of simplicity.

But if it’s written down, you can at least find it if you go looking for it.

3 Questions to Simplify Leadership is a post from bdentzy - Bryan Entzminger.

Growth creates complexity, which requires simplicity
Andy Stanley at the Chick-fil-A Leadercast

Growth Creates Complexity [quote] #CFALeadercast is a post from bdentzy - Bryan Entzminger.

Maybe something like.

Warning: May be hazardous to a self-centered way of life.

or

Warning: This will probably mess you up and make you into a person you wouldn’t normally be.

How reading the Bible can be hazardous

Really, at least in my mind, there are two specific dangers to reading the Bible. One of them is a real danger and the other is a comfort danger.

The real danger

It is extremely dangerous to read the Bible but refuse to allow God to transform you. To read about righteousness, justice, mercy, and generosity, yet choose to remain unrighteous, unjust, unmerciful, and stingy.

The danger is really about two things.

• A missed transformation
• A hardened heart

Through the Holy Spirit, the Bible is inherently transformational. God’s word is intended to conform us to the image of Christ. But if we refuse to allow it to transform us, we miss out on that transformation and the deepened relationship with God that comes through the transformation.

The greater danger, though, is having a heart that is hard towards God. It’s just not possible to continue ignoring God without hardening your heart in some way.

But just as there are dangers in refusing the transforming power of the Bible, there are dangers in embracing it. They are desirable dangers, to be sure. But they are dangers

The desirable dangers

As we read the Bible and allow it to permeate our lives, it will transform us in deeply desirable but sometimes exquisitely uncomfortable ways. It will point out areas where we have missed God’s heart. It will open our eyes and our hearts to the struggles of others. It will call us to service and humility instead of power and pride.

• It might mess you up.
• It might change your heart.
• It might call you out of your comfort zone.
• It might conform you to the image of Christ.

In truth, all of those things are desirable. But they are not always comfortable. In fact, I dare say that they are seldom comfortable – at least in the moment.

This happens to me too

Before you think that I just float through life on a magic carpet of ease and joy like some minor deity from mythology, I have to tell you that reading the Bible does this to me too. Sometimes I try to fight God’s word and harden my heart. Other times I’m open to what he’s saying and then he really messes me up.

Many times I hear his word and don’t know what to do with it except bring it back to him, ask him for guidance, and wait. Wait for guidance. Wait for provision. Wait for his timing. Wait for him to do the deep, transformational work in my heart.

Here’s an excerpt from one of my recent journal entries.

For some reason I can’t get the image of babies and small children scavenging food in war-torn areas of the world. When I see my kids playing I can’t help but think that if Katherine and I died, I would want somebody to take care of them.

As best I can, I trust God to do that. At the same time, I can’t help but wonder if we are part of his plan to help care for somebody else’s abandoned or orphaned child. Or if there’s some way he wants us to support another person in doing the same.

It is just really heavy on my heart these last couple days. Lord, what would you have me do with this?

Let’s bring it down to the ground level

So, here’s the question: Are there places where you’re refusing to let the Bible conform you to God’s will?

If so, what are you going to do about it today?

The Dangers of Reading the Bible is a post from bdentzy - Bryan Entzminger.

The way you pass through the land of Learning is that you try a bunch of things. Fear would love for you to try just one, get discouraged, and then march right back to average.
Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average, Do Work that Matters – Jon Acuff (affiliate link)

Don’t Get Discouraged is a post from bdentzy - Bryan Entzminger.

We must budget our attention in the say way we budget our time and our money. If we don’t, we will find ourselves in continual attention debt, always struggling to give the least attention to the greatest number of things and always falling short.

Attention Debt is a post from bdentzy - Bryan Entzminger.

Note: I wasn’t sure I was even going to write this post but I changed my mind after talking with a woman at church about reading and learning. Our conversation offered her some valuable tips so I thought maybe you’d be interested too.

Stick around to the end because I also have some suggestions of things you can do this week to take the first step. If you’re not sure how to take the next step, send me a note.

How I learn without sacrificing family time

Always be learning. Never stop. Ever.
Bryan Entzminger

There are a few things I do to learn as much as I can as quickly as I am able. Some people might disagree with my approach. Some people have different learning styles. This is just what works for me. If it doesn’t work for you, keep trying until you get it right. Learning is important.

Take advantage of dead time

One of the best ‘dead time’ tools is…a phone with reading materials available….
transformingleader.org

Let’s face it, we have a lot going on and are usually juggling priorities and managing expectations. I don’t want to sacrifice family time to read. But at the same time, there are almost always spaces of uncommitted time in our calendars. I’d suggest you do two things: set aside specific time for learning (yes, plan to learn) and also take advantage of those little spaces by always having something available to read.

I make time for learning by getting up early in the morning (usually 5AM) and go through a morning routine that allows me to clear my mind, get set for the day, and spend some time praying and journaling.

I also take advantage of small blocks of time. For example, I find that some of my best time to read paper books are while my wife is getting ready for bed. But where this “dead time” really takes off is on my commute.

Your rolling university

I have a 30 minute commute each way every day and I take advantage of that “dead time.” If you have a commute I’d suggest that you turn off the sports talk and listen to something that will feed your intellectual growth.

When I’m on my way to work I listen to two things: audio books and podcasts. But that’s not all of it – I have a secret sauce. I know that we think faster than we speak (think about it, when was the last time your mind wandered while listening to somebody talk) so I kick it up a notch.

I listen to audio books on my iPad at double speed and I listen to podcasts at triple speed using an app called Downcast (a very good investment at $1.99). In both cases I find that speakers are generally understandable and neither app makes them sound like chipmunks.

Read the short version

Sometimes I don’t have the time to read an entire book. And, frankly, many books on business and personal development could be summarized in 3-5 pages without losing anything but the stories.

Because of that I’m a huge fan of summaries like the ones provided by GetAbstract and Actionable Books. While these don’t give the full depth of a book, they offer highlights and insights very quickly. I find them invaluable when I’m trying to gain a high level understanding of a new concept.

Now, about you

I’ve shared three things I do to learn quickly and continuously. Do you have any tips or tricks to share with the rest of us?

Take the next step

Which one of the following will you do in the next week?

• Pick up your next Kindle book and keep it with you. Read when you have time. (affiliate link)
• Get an audio book from Audible.com. Listen during your commute. Try out double speed.
• Download Downcast (iOS only) and subscribe to some podcasts. Try out double and triple speed. If you don’t know which podcasts to listen to, check out the ones below. If you don’t like them, let me know and I’ll suggest some more.
  • Andy Stanley Leadership Podcast
  • This is Your Life (Michael Hyatt)
  • 48 Days Radio with Dan Miller (affiliate link)
  • The EntreLeadership Podcast
  • The Smart Passive Income Podcast
• Get a summary from GetAbstract or Actionable Books.

Let us all know what you’ll be doing by leaving a comment. And check back to let us know how it’s going.

And, if you’ve found this post valuable, I’d really appreciate a tweet or share.

Photo credit: aheram

My Secret Sauce for Learning is a post from bdentzy - Bryan Entzminger.