Believe and Achieve Coaching

2016-08-08T17:40:00.001-07:00

The Positive Power of Friendship

In life, they say, we are born alone and we die alone. Our souls come from the Universe and go back to the Universe. But in-between, we are connected to other people. First our families -- then we are gifted with friends. And if we are especially lucky, our family members become our friends, as well!

Why do we need friends?

The way we experience ourselves in life is through our work and our relationships. (Freud's "love and work" paradigm). We experience our identity through that which we create and our relationships. Whether it is writing a book, birthing a child, making a meal or planting a garden -- our energy goes out into the Universe in a manner that connects us with others.

Friends are those special people that we have elected to be in relationships with -- people we like, or love, who like or love us back and enjoy being with us. We spend time with friends, doing things that are enjoyable, building memories and gaining strength from the positive regard and affection of others.

Next time you go to a party --

Try this experiment. Instead of worrying what you look like, what people think of you, etc. Go with the intention of bringing positive energy into the space! Maybe there is someone there you can help! Maybe your laughter and upbeat mood will improve someone's day.

Carry only positive thoughts into the space. Speak only positive words. You will be surprised at the wonders that will ensue! Here is wishing you a wonderful day and much friendship and joy!

Summertime

2013-07-11T17:40:00.001-07:00

When you get up in the morning, how do you organize your day? Or do your responsibilities, i.e., your job, your kids, your laundry, do it for you? Sometimes it seems like our days create themselves and fly by own their own. But there is another perspective -- we can create our days by being mindful of what we need to do, what we have to do and what we want to do. And, we can always do something! It is the very process of taking action that enables our innate creativity. Sometimes, when things seem overwhelming, it is just doing one thing. And sometimes that one thing leads to the next, and the next. But there are some things that can move us spiritually towards where we want to be: One of them is to be with friends! People are social beings! We need the stimulation, energy, laughter and love that friendship provides. People who have friends have been found to be happier, healthier and to live longer! If your friends are busy with their own lives, guess what? There are always new friends to be made! Visit a nursing home! Join a meet-up group! Take a class! Talk to a neighbor! There is no amount of money, no diamond so big, no piece of gold as valuable as a good friend. And the way to have a friend -- be one! We all need friends. Not new information, just a happy reminder! Now go email, text or call a friend and make plans to see each other in person! And have a great day!

No More Pain! Thank you Dr. Lipton!

2012-09-18T19:33:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Dr. Glenn M. Lipton, M.D., Pain Management Specialist, who has recently expanded his practice from Arizona to include Southern California. He is now seeing patients in Beverly Hills, Marina Del Rey and Newport Beach. According to Dr. Lipton, prompt treatment of back, spine and other pain can increase one's quality of life, enabling one to fully enjoy one's work and home life, as well as achieve one's goals. Dr. Lipton is Board-Certified in Pain Medicine under the American Board of Anesthesiology, the gold-standard credential for pain medicine because it is the only pain certification under the auspices of the American Board of Medical Specialties (ABMS). In addition, Dr. Lipton holds further certifications from the American Board of Interventional Pain Physicians (ABIPP) and the American Board for Pain Medicine (ABPM). Dr. Lipton served as an ABIPP board examiner, lectures and instructs other physicians around the country on new surgical techniques, and keeps his knowledge and skill set current by holding active memberships in over eight of the national pain societies. To make an appointment with Dr. Lipton, call 310-574-0499.

Kim Kardashian

2012-09-14T06:10:00.003-07:00

If you want a good example of someone who is living her dream, just lok at Kim Kardashian. She took a social life and turned it into a career. She and her mother and sisters, and to a lesser extent, her step-father, took who were they and made it what they did. And by most accounts, has been having a swell time in the process. Even with a public short marriage, Kim has managed to brand herself, put out a clothing line, perfume, a book....And create an empire in the process. To analyze her formula for success, in a superficial, but succinct way, she knows who she is, she plays to her strengths and she is NICE to everyone in the process! Her personality, combined with her looks and her enormous talent at selling herself as a celebrity, have made her the success she is today. Don't be fooled by the clothes and make-up; all the Kardashian women are hard workers who know how to maximize what they have to offer. They have proven that likeability is a huge factor in reality success and that that is something they all, particularly Kim, have in abundance. Likeability is a huge factor in all success, an issue which I will deal with in greater depth in another post. So,no matter what you think of reality TV, or the Kardashians, there are many lessons to be learned on how to be successful and happy and have a tight family all at the same time. They exemplify enthusiasm, optimism and action, three factors that we Life Coaches attempt to model for our clients at all times. And they do it in a big way.

Zerizus -- Enthusiasm and Action -- Revisited

2012-04-20T15:39:00.000-07:00

More blogging on zerizus!

posted by Barbara D. Holtzman at Zerizus! - 3 years ago

I found an incredible website, another blog that deals with zerizus. Access it here: Believe and Achieve Coaching from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

The Power of Belief and Your Angels

2012-04-20T15:36:00.000-07:00

A client of mine told me this story. She moved to a new area and wanted to make new friends; she said she felt alone. She was home during the day with a baby and hadn't yet signed up for Mommy & Me or for any Meet-ups in her area. So, she prayed for a friend. At the same time, she had gone online to Care.com for a Mother's Helper. A woman her own age answered the ad and the two started talking. Seems they had grown up not far from each other. When they started talking high school, the helper candidate mentioned a male friend of hers. My client had grown up with him! His mother had been a "special angel" adult in the life of my client. My client and the candidate met and the helper did some work. But my client said that the miracle was that the "special angel" adult showed up in her life to let her know that she was in fact being watched over and wasn't alone! Where is your belief today? Where would you like it to be? Need a friend, or an angel? You can do it! If you need help, coaching is here for you.

Spring is in the Air

2012-03-09T16:52:00.000-08:00

As we say goodbye to sweaters, coats and dark afternoons, we are looking at the re-birth of the earth. And with it, metaphorically, our own. But can we do, as spring approaches, to start over, give ourselves a boost, feel better in every way? First, get out into the sun for at least 30 minutes per day. New studeis are showing that sun is beneficial not only for Vitamin D, but for mood and feelings of well-being. Of course, it goes without saying that warm weather is another opportunity to exercise outside -- hiking, biking, skating, running, walking...whatever you like! And spring is a time to clean out the old and bring in the new! Decide today what you can get rid of in your environment to improve the energy, and what can you bring in? Do you have new goals? Maybe drop a few pounds before bikini season? If you are at a "start-over" or renewal point, consider Life Coaching to give you the extra motivation and boost to realize your goals!

Mid-Life Crisis at 32

2012-01-18T07:51:00.000-08:00

Anyone can have a mid-life crisis. You don't even have to be mid-life. You just have to be at a place where you want something new -- a job, a relationship, a day job at ebay. Anything that will alleviate the boredom, the anxiety, the distress of being trapped in the box you call your life. Now, it may not be all that dramatic for you. You may be more the eating- Mallomars-in-bed-and-watching-TV-all-day type. But however it manifests for you, one day you may wake up and want it to go away.

You've always been successful before. Grad school Cum Laud, a Porsche at 25...but now you have a dilemna. Do you duck out of your responsibilities and head for the south of France, or do you DO SOMETHING--ANYTHING!

Coaching gives you the start, the lighted match, the spark, to get it going. Every client of mine is different, yet all are the same in one respect. They come for coaching in order to get into ACTION. Because action leads to results.

The results you get may not be the ones you started out to find, but you will have started the flow of energy and kicked old entropy out the door.

This post is dedicated to James: The action master of them all!

The Hippest Chick

2012-01-18T07:40:00.000-08:00

From what I'm reading, 500,000 Americans are now getting hip replacements every year. Not one to avoid a trend, I too, had my hip replaced -- my right hip. Now, you may be saying, "Couldn't find a cheaper, easy trendy thing to do, maybe yoga or pilates?" I could have. But since I needed it done anyway, I did it. The trick was in the preparation. The most important part of anything in life is the MENTAL part (after, of course, the Spiritual part. But that is another post entirely...)!

I got ready for surgery by doing what any self-respecting woman would do -- I bought a new dress and a new purse. And I had my bathroom (just my section) painted pink!

I also got new towels and bedding and a rolling cart for next to the bed. And invited friends to the hospital. My best friend from childhood for the surgery through the next day, my cousin the Dr., for the first night (he brought dinner at the behest of his girlfriend), and a good friend for the second night when my husband went to a business Christmas party. (It's cool -- I made him go).

So, I arranged to make myself as comfortable as possible, and then used the best mental trick known to man: I went into denial. Not the river in Egypt, the place that said that everything is normal and that I love sleeping on my back.

Additionally, I used Angel Therapy (Doreen Virtue), Guided Imagery and Color Therapy. And I hired someone to help out with meals, etc.

And I promised a friend that I would write about it. To help other people. So, if you are looking at joint replacement therapy, and feel you could benefit from some coaching by someone who has been there, please call us: Believe & Achieve Coaching, www.bealeeve.com!

How's Your Diet?

2011-02-07T17:14:00.000-08:00

It's the first week of February. Have you stuck to your New Year's Resolution about shedding those last ten pounds? If you are still in the game, but faltering, do this now: Go to your kitchen and dump (that's right) all soft drinks down the drain. Trash the chips and get rid of the ice cream. Get in a good supply of bottled water and fresh fruit and vegetables. You are eating to live, not living to eat! If you are not happy to hear these words, then think about why. If you are someone who can eat two chips at a sitting, you can have them in the house -- if not, they have to go. The number on the scale will be a bigger reward than the junk you are putting into your body. And stop eating after 6 p.m. If you do that, you are guaranteed to cut a lot of calories. Make the goal the reward and find some friends to support you! As always, if you need motivation, get Coached!

How to Start Your Week

2011-02-07T17:06:00.000-08:00

If you are having the Monday, post-Super Bowl blahs, here is a quick fix. Throw on some sweats (if you're not at work) and get out of the house. Go to the market and buy some fruit. The fragrance alone will help. If you are at work, try drinking some orange juice or eating fresh fruit. If it's not on your eating plan, try some fresh vegetables, combined with a short walk in the fresh air. This is a good way to de-pizza and beer yourself and change your head-space. Have a great week! And if you need help with your goals, Life Coaching may be for you!

Authentic Voice

2011-01-19T16:27:00.000-08:00

I am sitting in the cafe of a chain bookstore, part of a community of people -- some readers, others using their computers, and even a few people having conversations. One woman is on the phone. Is it eavesdropping when her words land on my ears? Now she's gone back to talking to a young man --not her son -- giving him advice about a girl. And in the background, the coffee grinder is intermittently whirring away. This is a snapshot of contemporary American life. The advice lady is at it again. Is she a therapist? His therapist? She's asking him questions, but not like a coach. She's trying to get him to see the "reality" of the situation by asking him questions -- but in kind of a repetitive way. Why would you have such a personal conversation in such a public place? I'm listening -- because I'm hearing it -- for the technique, the vocabulary, the questions, the answers. And thinking about coaching, done over the phone, in complete privacy, completely confidential. I hear judgment in the voice of the woman, and the young man keeps answering. Now they are going to walk -- realizing perhaps that they are being heard. Having an authentic voice has a paradoxical duality. To hear, you must listen -- even to, or especially to -- yourself. Your voice, your soul, your animus, are revealed in your listening as they are in your speech, your words, your voice. Coaching can help you cross the divide between what you hear, what you say, and finally, what you do. (To be continued).

Unanswered Questions, Guest Blogger, Paula Shumaker O'Donnell

2010-12-09T10:44:00.000-08:00

A LITTLE HELP ALONG THE WAY
Because success is a journey...
UNANSWERED QUESTIONS...
Many times in our lives we have questions that don’t have any
easy answers.
Sometimes they are important questions and we would like for them to be resolved.
They can cause heartache, frustration, or anger and can keep us stuck if we
dwell on them.
So what do you do when you are in a situation with unanswered questions?
You make soup.
You clean your house.
You throw yourself into a project.
You pray.
You let it go for a while because there isn’t anything you know to do.
You focus on work and things you can control. You make decisions that are right
for you. You learn that not all of life has answers—easy or otherwise.
But you never give up.
And you always hope...that one day, you will get the answers you were looking for.
Dec. 6, 2010
© 2010 Paula Shumaker O’Donnell, Springfield, Missouri
417-838-0277- MyCoachPaula@aol.com

Jana Brauninger, Musician

2010-11-16T12:15:00.000-08:00

Jana Brauninger--

The other day while practicing I slowly began to realize that all I was thinking about were my flaws. Of course I was working on them at the time, but somehow...something inside me let go of my obsessions and instead I imagined somone amazing playing with ease. That lead me to this inspired question: HOW WOULD I PLAY IF IT WERE EASY?
Everything changed then. Everything.

Jana used her own inner wisdom to shift her reality. If you want to do the same and be supported, Life Coaching is for you!

Thank you Jana for your words of inspiration!

Biulding Your Self-Image, Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

2010-09-19T08:38:00.000-07:00

#996 Building Your Self-Image One Tiny Step at a Time
There are special occurrences, situations, and opportunities that help build your self-image in a short time. However, it is more common to improve one tiny step at a time every day than to have quick progress in this area.

The daily question to ask yourself is: "What small improvement can I make now?"

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 16)

And for help and support in building your self-esteem, Life Coaching!

When you can, do!

2010-08-20T10:20:00.000-07:00

Don't wait for the perfect time, the perfect place, the perfect opportunity! If you have an opportunity for something fun, profitable, growth-creating, helping someone else -- then do it!

Extreme Value

2010-07-30T10:14:00.000-07:00

Not long ago I went to a dressy event. One of the principals was wearing an incredible dress. I thought, "That dress must have cost $1,000." When I complimented her on the attire, she said, "Oh, it was $768." No, I misunderstood. She meant $7.68. Clearance rack from a very high end store. Is this even possible? Her daughter told me that her mother does it all the time....You can live the life abundant and look great on very little if, 1) That is your intention, and 2) You put in the time. Needless to say, the wearer not only had a great dress, she had fun at the purchase as well as the event. Hold that thought! Life coaching for extreme value!

Lift Your Spirits, Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

2010-07-30T08:58:00.001-07:00

#945 Lift Your Spirits
Here are some ideas to help you feel better:

(1) Fill your mind with happiness-producing thoughts. Create an encouraging inner voice.

(2) Remember the positive moments of your life. Re-experience the positive feelings you had when you lived through those moments.

(3) Get in touch with your moments of strength. When you felt strong, how did you create those feelings?

(4) Increase your sense of meaning in life by doing meaningful things.

(5) Create enjoyable mental imagery. Visualize yourself being joyous.

(6) View your depressed feelings as a challenge that can eventually help you to elevate yourself.

(7) Find some positive way of looking at each event and situation in your life.

(8) Keep a diary of the good things that happen to you.

(9) Keep a self-mastery journal to give you a greater sense of empowerment.

(10) Engage in physical exercises such as brisk walking or running.

(11) List ten reasons why you can feel better even though you are experiencing difficulties.

(12) Each day, do acts of kindness for others.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," p.193-7)

Action v. Delay

2010-07-27T11:28:00.000-07:00

If you can't get going, get some help. A support system can help you get into action when you don't feel like it. Once you start, the energy of the movement wll propel you forward.

Spend it Wisely

2010-07-20T10:04:00.000-07:00

Time is precious, so spend it wisely. It's one thing that you are not getting back... There were a group of ladies in Florida sitting around playing cards, dissing their husbands for snoring, being lazy, not helping around the house. All participated in the discussion, save one woman, a widow. When she could take the whining no longer, she finally stood up and said, "What I wouldn't give to hear my husband snore one more time." She then walked out of the room. She went to her computer and composed Evites to an Appreciation Luncheon. She invited all the dissed husbands of her ladyfriends. No plus-ones! Her friends were in a huff for a while, but when they relented and came back for cards -- it was with a new appreciation for their better halves. Appreciate what you have. Coaching an Attitude of Gratitude!

Living Poor

2010-06-16T11:58:00.000-07:00

A woman at a cocktail party related the story of what had happened to her family since the economic downturn. Born into wealth, she had grown up with the best of everything -- clothes, education, travel -- she was able to have whatever she wanted. She had gone to an Ivy League college where she met her husband, also from a privileged background. They finished their educations, got married in a lavish wedding and moved into a luxurious house in a gated community. They had a child, a dog and the woman spent her time shopping and doing charity work. She described herself as a walking cliche of the upper class. Then, one day, all her husband's (risky) investments took a dive and they had nothing. She lamented that they were even prohibited by the CC & R's of their community from holding a garage sale. They had lost everything material. She told her then four-year old daughter, "I can't live poor," and she sunk into a deep depression. Meanwhile, she had had a huge household staff that she had to let go, including a nanny from Central America. The nanny said, "I wish I could help you more, but while you are recovering, your little girl can come live with me and my family." The father was spending his time hustling work, and since the mother couldn't get out of bed most days, she told the nanny that she would be grateful for the offer of childcare. She had no idea where the nanny lived, nor the living conditions there. So, the nanny packed up the little girl, whom she had practically raised from birth, and brought her to her own home. This was a small rented house with a vegetable garden in a modest neighborhood. The little girl missed her mother, but she knew her mother was sick and would come get her when she was better. So the little girl began a life of "living poor." Her clothes and toys were brought from home, but as children grow quickly, she was soon wearing thrift shop clothes, and playing with used toys. During this period, the mother would call, but never came by. The little girl noticed at first the lack of "amenities" (no pool, no butler), but soon forgot about the rest. The nanny had to seek day work cleaning houses and the little girl was cared for by her new "abuelita," grandmother. Six weeks turned into six months and then a year and then two. It took the father almost two and a half years to get back on his feet. During this time, the mother, reluctant for her former "friends" to see her in her impecunity, rarely ventured from the rented apartment she and her husband had obtained. Finally, the day came when the family had enough funds to rent a house and lease a nice car. They went to get their daughter. They happened to arrive during a family barbeque, where everyone was singing and laughing and having fun. The mother blanched when she saw the outside of the house. She could only think, "How could I have left my daughter here." The little girl was six now, in school and fluent in Spanish. When the mother rang the doorbell, the little girl was the one to answer the door. She didn't recognize her mother. The mother was mortified by the entire situation and burst into tears. "I have left you in poverty and you have suffered" she said to the little girl. The little girl said, "This is not poverty, this is living happy."

You are living in whatever state is in your head right now. Money buys comfort and convenience and status. But it doesn't cure depression, nor bring you laughter and love. The little girl stayed with the nanny. After two years, at such a young age, this was her home and her life. The mother was relieved not to have the "burden" of raising a child in reduced circumstances with no childcare. Who here was really living poor? Life Coaching to live rich at any income.

Auto Pilot

2010-06-06T09:51:00.000-07:00

• AUTOPILOT (noun)
The noun AUTOPILOT has 2 senses:

1. a cognitive state in which you act without self-awareness
2. a navigational device that automatically keeps ships or planes or spacecraft on a steady course (Source: http://www.audioenglish.net/dictionary/autopilot.htm)

Are you on autopilot -- in a state where you are moving through life just to just in done? In today's busy world, it's hard not to be! How do you stay self-aware, as you navigate your course, as you fly your plane through life?

How do you fly your plane? Both hands on the controls -- eyes fully focused?

Remember, when you are flying your plane, the controls are in your hands! You have a handle on it! And if you need to step back and think before take-off, do so.

That's the way you are going to soar.

Life Coaching for those who want to fly.

Trust vs. Doubt

2010-05-25T08:42:00.000-07:00

What does it take you to trust someone? How about trusting yourself? The role of the Life Coach is to help the client believe in herself -- to trust her own judgment and decision-making capabilities. Trust comes out of a belief that people are telling you the truth, that they are trustworthy. Trust is a cultural value and a cultural motif. There is the ubiquitous used-car salesman, the symbol of the deceptive, devious, anything-for-a-buck liar who can't be trusted. Then, on the other end of the spectrum, is the elementary school teacher, the kindly mother or father figure trusted with our children, a person believed to be moral, kind and decent based upon career choice alone.

When we examine ourselves, do we fall somewhere in the middle, or are we paragons of trustworthiness?

In coaching, trust is often used synonymously with self-belief, the opposite of self-doubt. The feeling of trust, or self-trust is empowering to the client, while doubt, the lack of trust, is disempowering. What can you accomplish if you don't trust that what you are doing will ultimately succeed, ultimately work out for the best.

Sometimes you have to consciously choose to trust, in order to keep doubt at bay. Think about it: Everything you have achieved has come out of your self-belief and trust in your decisions.

On the other hand, the positive function of doubt is that it can serve as a warning system to steer you away from making the wrong decision. You may have heard, "When in doubt, don't."

You have an opportunity to find the trust you need out of the doubt you possess. Work on it and let me know! Have a great day Coach Paula

Ground Your Worries --Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

2010-03-08T22:35:00.000-08:00

#789 Ground Your Worries
Frequently people jump to the conclusion that they have a problem, when in reality there is nothing to worry about. To overcome this tendency, make it a practice to look closely at the available facts. By carefully investigating the situation, it will often show that your original worries were groundless.

(Tnuas Hamussar, vol.1, p.132; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.158)

Also, wen you look at the facts, you are taking your mind off the worries. Your mind can only hold one thought at a time. Nx times you are in an uncomfortable situation, work on shifting your perspective in the moment.

If you can be happy and positive in the moment, chances are the situation wil shift itself.

The Lesson of American Idol

2010-03-06T19:18:00.000-08:00

Just because your mother thinks you can sing doesn't mean you're going to get a record deal. Brutal honesty starts at home. If you are that good, find out from a pro,and pursue it. And if you're not, make it your hobby and move on. You can always record and sell your own music, but if that's not going to make you the living you envision, then find another way to incorporate music into your life.

Learn the distinction between reality and positive thinking. Know what you can do, and do it. And know what the realities of your talents are. You have something to give. Find out what your gift is and give it. You will be a lot happier.