a Little Bit of Us

Actions and Words

2014-02-22T23:00:00.000-05:00

I used to be the kind of girl that believed anything people told me. Some people like to call it "naive" I like to call it trusting. I just didn't understand why people would need to lie to me. I think the moment I started becoming cynical was when I worked behind the return desk at walmart. I would see items that had clearly been stolen and were being returned for gift cards. Clothes that had been worn out being returned because they didn't fit... Oh and once I actually got taken by someone that had stolen a "leather" jacket from target and was returning it to walmart. They had switched the tag with one in our store and I didn't look closely enough to realize it. I ended up giving away quite a bit of money on that one.

Anyhow, my point is that at some point I realized people aren't always what they seem. However, I did not realize that the person that I loved would have any reason to lie to me. I trusted him when he told me he loved me. He said it all the time, he had to mean it. He had to mean it even though he lied to me about other things... He had to mean it even though he never wanted to spend time with me. He had to mean it even though when asked why he love me, he said "I don't know, I just do"... He had to mean it even though he was cruel to me, even though he would choose his family, friends (or anything really) above me... He had to mean it even though when asked "would you still love me if I got fat" his answer was "no" (accompanied with laughter). He had to mean it because he said it all the time.

It's too bad that I never really realized that actions speak louder than words. If I had been smart enough to look past the words "I love you" I would have seen the truth. If I'd had my eyes wide open instead of partially closed then I would have seen the truth. In a perfect world we wouldn't have to worry about this, but unfortunately we live in a world where things are rarely as they seem. People lie, cheat, steal, hurt whoever they want without even a second thought. Actually I don't even think that there is much of a first thought...

I thought I had learned my lesson, but I have so much hope in my heart that people will be truthful and be as they seem that I once again fell prey to the same lies from the same person. It didn't hurt me nearly as badly as it did the first time, but how does one fall into the same trap twice? How do I protect myself from falling for this again? By guarding my heart. Looking past the slimy words and seeing the true heart. Not trying to make things into what I want them to be. Sometimes I think I'm so caught up in what I want that I fail to see what really is.

I don't know why I wrote this other than just to get this off my chest. Sometimes it's hard for me to deal with the fact that someone hurt me and they don't care. It means nothing to them, it doesn't hurt them to think about it, it doesn't bring any kind of regret or pain. I hate that and so I write because it does no good to do anything else. It also makes me feel foolish and just ashamed of myself. The truth is that he should feel that way not me. I'm the one that was truthful and real and there is no shame in that, but I'm the one that feels the shame.

So I am forced to wonder what brings a person to the place where they want hear the words "I love you" so badly that they accept it even when there is no proof. This 2nd time I was cut off from my world unable to contact my family or friends. I was lonely and around a lot of people in love. I was an outsider and so I just wanted to be accepted. I wanted to be a part of something. I was ripe for the picking.

Truth

2013-09-23T12:03:00.002-04:00

I listen to the lies.
I believe them and take them to heart.
They resound in my ears moment by moment.
Crowding out truth and taking my sight.

I stop and think this shouldn't be.
This is not fair.
I hate my life. I hate my life.
Lies breed lies.

The lies are stuck in my head.
Clogging up my brain.
Zombie like thoughts resound hour by hour.
Eat or be eaten.

The darkness does not return light.
It sucks out my soul.
Darker and darker it grows.
If there is light left I can't see it. I can't see it. I can't see it!

Fear fills my heart.
It grows and grows.
I act out in ways I never would.
If only I had answered the lies with TRUTH.

A storm brews, I take others with me.
Friendships are lost at sea
Most never to be seen again.
Some to be changed forever.

One friendship returns,
In fact it never left.
One that whispers love, forgiveness and hope.
One that YELLS love, forgiveness and hope.
One that wipes my slate clean and helps me to start over.
One that covers my darkness with light.
One that covers my darkness with LIGHT.
One that answers the lies with TRUTH.

12~365

2013-01-12T18:40:00.002-05:00

Ugh, I'm already behind on this, but this one is for today :)

Tea Party!

5~365

2013-01-05T21:40:00.003-05:00

4~365

2013-01-04T23:53:00.000-05:00

family time

2013-01-03T23:44:00.002-05:00

Sometimes the world melts away and our families are all that exist. We play legos

we eat m&ms

we hang out in our pjs

and just enjoy passing the time together laughing and eating and playing. It really is magical

3~365

2013-01-03T21:01:00.004-05:00

2~365

2013-01-02T22:51:00.002-05:00

New Blog Title

2013-01-02T09:38:00.003-05:00

Hey everyone - if you're still out there ;)... I have changed my blog title to "a Little Bit of Us" from "Finding My Creativity" I just felt it fit more. I haven't been an active blogger for like 8 months so I didn't want to confuse anyone. My new url is little-of-us.blogspot.com I am thinking if you already follow me it won't matter that I changed the url though. Thanks!! :)

1 ~of~ 365

2013-01-01T21:24:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year! I am in the middle of renaming my blog and redesigning it but I didn't want to miss out on day 1 of 365. That would be a major fail! Sooo.... this is my niece Abigail. Oh how fun she is to take pictures of. She usually always does what you ask her to do. Then there's the cuteness factor... Maybe I should've started out the year with an Emma picture, but there will be plenty of those in the future.

This image was taken today at my brothers house in front of his backdoor. I just love the light on her face.

I heart faces - friendship challenge

2012-10-18T20:23:00.003-04:00

When I saw the subject of this challenge I immediately thought of this image. My little girl and her friend Abby. They were just running around after church holding hands and I couldn't help but snap a shot.

Beautiful Monday

2012-09-10T10:21:00.001-04:00

I'm just going to pretend that I love Mondays and maybe that will happen... probably not but anyhoo ;).

I had told you guys in my last post that I got some beautiful butterfly images at cades cove, so I hate to disappoint!

I'll share some more from that trip tomorrow. I have some more of Emma and a window and some flowers to share. :) I don't know what it is about me, but I love taking pictures of old windows from the dark inside with the gorgeous sun shining through the darkness... ooohh... I think I need some kind of quote for that image. Stay tuned ;).

Cades Cove in August

2012-08-28T10:00:00.000-04:00

Welp, if you've been following me for a while you might have noticed that we go to Cades Cove everyonce in a while. I always have tons of photos from the day and I rarely process them all. You know how it is, you take a billion pictures and then get overwhelmed when you go back and look at them. I do usually pick out a few to process. Anyhoo, I know I've told you about Cades Cove before, but it's located in Townsend, TN very close to Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge. It's a wonderfully long loop that is just completely nature and some old houses and churches to visit. There are LOTS of hiking trails to be explored and just lots of wildlife (if you go at the right time of day). It's completely free to go through and you can walk, jog, run, hike, bike, drive, ride ,or any other form of transportation you can think of, through. The road is one way and you slowly make your way around the loop stopping where you want to stop along the way. I love it, and so does my family. I just wish I could say we saw some wildlife this time, but we didn't. It was nice to go and have a picnic though. Here are a few shots from our day.

I did get some beautiful butterfly images that I can't wait to share! :0)

reality

2012-08-14T15:29:00.000-04:00

You ever start reading something that a successful popular photog wrote and get so lost in the words that you feel for that ever so short moment that it's you living the dream? It's you with the sessions scheduled for the week and it's you editing those photos. It's you sharing your knowledge with others. It's you flitting across the US with your youngest child to teach a workshop. It's you spending that day with your kids because you're your boss and your kids needed it. Then you read the last word in the post, message, letter, packet and SNAP there you are in your little sunless cubicle with a mile high pile of mail waiting to be opened and sifted through. ;)

Wish I had an image to share, but I'm at work and I don't have access right now so my words will have to do.

Easy Macros on Sunday

2012-08-12T16:14:00.000-04:00

I have been wanting to try Macro for so long, but wasn't sure what to buy and honestly, I just don't have the money for an actual Macro lens... so I was so very excited to learn something the other night. I learned that you can flip your 50mm lens around and it becomes a macro lens. The dof is very shallow and it is very hard for me not to shake. You obviously have to move back and forth until you find the sweet spot, but it is fun. I'm still getting the hang of it, but here are a few shots I took this afternoon.

These are all SOOC I just converted them from raw and resized for the web

My sweet little Kitty

2012-08-09T09:53:00.001-04:00

Ok, I was going to wait to post this until tomorrow, but I just totally want to go ahead and post it haha. I posted this shot on my fb page and my good friend Mel suggested I enter it into the iheartfaces contest "pet faces". I know this isn't a real pet so I am thinking it will probably not qualify after reading the rules, but thought I'd try anyhoo heehee.

My sweet little kitty

Faith Fun Fest

2012-08-08T22:07:00.003-04:00

Well last weekend Emma and I spent the day at our church's Faith Fun Fest :0). I took pictures and she played. It was a lot of fun for her to run free and do what she wanted. She rode the merry go round, played in the bounce house thing and went down the big slide then she blew bubbles and ran through sprinklers... oh and she met a sweet adorable clown! Such a great day! Here's a few of my fave shots from the day. Oh, I will share my numero uno fave shot in my next post heehee.

The Muse and a discount!

2012-07-18T11:46:00.000-04:00

The Joy Bag company is offering a 15% discount on all of their bags for the next 48 hrs to welcome their new bag, the Muse! Go check it out!

Wordless Wednesday and a Tutu

2012-07-17T22:31:00.002-04:00

Well, I guess this is a tutu... heheh, Emma and I went outside tonight and had a little silly fun in her tutu. Just like most little girls she loves anything that twirls and this silly thing bounces and twirls so that makes it 10 times better!

Silly Cousins

2012-07-17T10:34:00.000-04:00

Well, here are a few more shots of Emma's Bday party.

This totally cracks me up. Instead of running around in the sprinkler we think we will just stick our bums over it... Maybe they were washing off grass... silly kiddies.

I love this shot, Emma looks so serious and Benj is just listening then Rachel is in her own world blowing bubbles. So funny. ;)

Em was a little worse for wear at the end of the party. ;0) PS... granmom thinks this outfit matches... I say... hmmm... same colors.. that's about it!

Bow finagle a foto #22

2012-07-15T16:20:00.000-04:00

This week has been so busy and I don't even know why lol. Well, Em's 3rd bday was yesterday and we had a wonderful day. I can't believe she's 3 years old. It feels like just yesterday... blah blah blah... you know the story haha. Anyhoo, it's bittersweet just like every year. Here's my favorite shot of the day.

That moment was of course fleeting. Don't you just love how photos can make it seem like hours were spent sitting and reading when in fact it was a second?... haha, had lots of gifts to rip open!

My first Guest Blog Post!!!

2012-07-10T08:30:00.000-04:00

Hey wonderful, beautiful and handsome readers! What? Yeah, you! I'm talking to you!! ;) I have my very first guest bloggy post right now over at Cropped Stories with the beautiful and talented Elena! Please go over there and share some love peeps! If you don't already follow Elena, you should, she is a talented photog a mother of a beautiful little girl that she calls Livvy. She's also nice enough to share a freebie every once in a while and everyone loves a freebie!!! Go check it out!

BOW {Finagle a Foto}

2012-07-08T23:47:00.000-04:00

I'm so excited about sharing these with you. These are some of my faves from the 4th of July Parade. I took a ton so I won't bore you, but here's my sweet Emma and her cousins Benjamin, Rachel and Abigail all patriotic.

Ems been sort of hard to get a pic of lately. :0( She went through a stage where she would let me and it is over. It was a very short stage!!

Well, I hope everyone has a GREAT week! Can't wait to go around and see what everyone else did! I will this time, I promise!!

Scavenger Hunt - one great Sunday!

2012-07-08T23:28:00.002-04:00

Patriotic, View From Above, Mosaic, Something Tiny, & Vibrant

Well, it's been a while since I've taken part in Scavenger Hunt Sunday and I am excited to do it even though I'm almost late on it. Can't wait to go around and see what everyone else has done. I had such a great week and Oh my, such a great Sunday. It was a growing, convicting Sunday. God had so much for me in the 3 messages that I heard today ~ Sunday school - comfort others (meaning I need to get off my butt and go and help my church members and those around me!!! - be there for others!!). Morning service - Get out there and live for the Lord, don't just be a Sunday Christian and if I am going to call myself a "Christian" then I need to be one in he way that the Lord views the word Christian (Christ-like) and not how the world views it. Sunday night - Pray! Prayer is such a tool and essential in my Christian walk - do it! Ok, so now you see how my Sunday went, here's my Scavenger hunt goodies:

We went berry picking on Saturday and so I took a pic from that and did my own version of a mosaic... I don't know I think it's cool. ;0)

At the parade on the 4th our police force had helicopters flying around and well, while this isn't a "view from above" I like to think about the neat view they had from above

My sweet cheeks and her cousins Rachel and Benjamin being very Patriotic! (at the parade on the 4th)

This purple flower was so vibrant at the fruit and berry patch

Even big blueberries are tiny ;0)

Thanks for stopping in!! Have a GREAT Week!

MIA {aka lazy}

2012-07-06T11:34:00.002-04:00

Guys, I hate that I've been MIA lately. It has been busy and the moments that I've had to myself, I've been using to work on my business or just be lazy. SORRY!!! I didn't mean to neglect my blog at all!! Please forgive me! :0) I will be posting about the 4th of July soon! I went to a big parade that morning and it was just so much fun! I have LOTS of pics to share from that. I don't know if you noticed that I used the word "business" or not, but I'm going forward with my photography business. I'll let you know how that goes. You can follow me over at http://www.rebsphotography.com/ if you'd like.

Oh and I will be doing my first guest post for the beautiful, creative Miss Elena @ Cropped Stories on Tuesday the 10th! I'm so excited about it! You will have to come back and pop over there to check it out and show us both some love!!

Also, sorry to all those that have followed me on feedburner! I totally changed my url on you and forgot to update that! :0( I just fixed it, hope you won't hold it against me ;0).

OH YEAH, if you do go check out my photography page, notice my AWESOME title? It's from the talented Miss Stephanie over at Behind the Camera and Dreaming. She owns Gray Mornings Photography and Design. Go check out all of her pages and leave her some love!

Here's a cute pic of Natalee (a friend's baby) for you to look at heehee