Hey V,

I’m a really good fan of your website and i was just wondering if you could tell me the right way to approach girls without making a fool of myself?

I’ve just turned 18 yrs old and and im at college at the moment but ive only managed to get with 3 girls over the past 2 years and im starting to feel like I should give up. I was hoping an expert like yourself would be able to give me some pointers with how and what to say to girls in bars,clubs, college ect.

Thanks:)

(Hotmail kept bouncing my e-mail to ash so I decided to post my response.)

Hello ash,

no matter what you do there will always be someone who will think you’re a “fool”, whether it be because of something you’re wearing, or cause of the music you like, etc.

If you are comfortable with yourself, and who you are as an individual, then you won’t have to worry about anyone thinking you’re a “fool”, and that will come across to everyone you communicate with.

Forget the “pointers” and get comfortable with who you are as an individual.

—

If you have any questions my e-mail is v [at] becomingapua.com

Now I got to get all the spam posts out of the forums and get to all the e-mails/comments.

Ive been?in?PU girls for near 2 years now and in 16 im turning 17 in about a 3 weeks. Thanx for all your help your site alone has been the starting point for my sucess. like u were telling that other 15 yr old guy about PUing online on facebook?& myspace. I can initiate a conversation in reallife #close and very Rarley *close im still workin on it. i work mostly in supermarkets, malls, streets, and in the park?,but talkin inline is kinda weird 4 me since there are all this talk about online preditors now. how would i go about meeting and so on.?If u know what i mean its very hard to get a girl 15-17 2 trust you. Internet really isnt my thing but its something i want to really get good at cuz college is gonna b a blast and just like the other guy i wanna be atleast decent a internet game by then.
Thanx

I highly recommend you work on your grammar and spelling, especially if you want to get into a good College (Now that I’ve said this I’ve probably jinxed myself and will make a bunch of grammar and spelling mistakes . . . ).

Now to your question.

When there is a fear of someone being an online predator it’s usually the guy in a guy-girl conversation.

I’d suggest you switch that up.

Act as though she might be the predator.

Play around with the idea how you never know what the girl might do (keep it fun, nothing serious like she might slice your dick off or something . . . unless you can throw that in in a funny way . . . )

When it comes to the Internet and College the big thing seems to be Facebook.

If you’re an outgoing guy then be sure to have a Facebook with lots of pictures portraying you that way. If you’re a “mysterious” type of guy then don’t have Facebook.

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If you have any questions my e-mail is v [at] becomingapua.com

Hey man,

I was always the youngest in my grade because i skipped kindergarden when i was 6. Why my parents thought this to be a good idea I do not know (I thought it was a good idea because I was 6 god damnit and who the hell wants another year of school.) So my entire education ended up pussifying me with the peak of my pussyness occuring around 8th grade. Pretty much my whole life has been me battling my pussyness and learning that there really isn’t anything to be afraid of in this society. So now I’ve been out of high school for 2 years and I feel a whole lot different than I did before. What changed me the most I think is my job as a cashier at a grocery store. For 8 hours a day I do nothing but have forced interactions with people. Ive learned things to say to make them smile, I’ve learned subtleties in behavior that reveal a persons true state of mind, I get lots of girls flippin their hair at me n shit. One problem for me though is moving these interactions into public. I’ve tried going up to a couple super hot girls in a sandle store while I was on vacation and although i got them giggling and looking at each other I didn’t know how to escalate the situation to actually bringing them back to my hotel room (which of course was my goal on vacation). So I guess my main problem is escalation, I’ve always loved girls (maybe too much) since 1st grade really. I remember vividly looking at the girl in my class that I liked and almost going into giddy laughter when she was the one that ended up sitting next to me for the rest of the year. Of course I was a wussy ass 1st grader and I wasn’t making any moves :P. So I guess this isn’t really a direct question, just a vocalization of my journey with women. I’m still a virgin, I’m am pushing myself a little bit to get rid of it, but I’ve learned from other peoples mistakes and am not gonna bang the first thing that says yes (unless she’s good looking and it’s a good situation). I had a chance while on vacation to get this 16 year old girl but her face was unfeatured and a little downs syndromesque but she had a good body. I was staying with a few of my friends and when i asked them what they thought of the situation they said they would lose respect for me. (I’m almost 20 years old so there was a little bit of a power imbalance) This may have been a device of jelously, I learned that her sister was really hot when i saw them together later when they were checking out of the hotel, also I learned that if i pushed myself, went against the decision making of my peers and relied on myself I could have had what I wanted. I’m going on a rant here, I guess I’m a little uncomfortable around the female form and I am fearful for making that push for intimacy. Any suggestions?

Thanks for not charging me :P,
I need a good nickname to put here…

Hey Alex,

The only thing to fear is fear itself.

One thing that comes to mind when it comes to getting girls from the store to hang out in public is to hand them your very own “business” card along with their receipt.

The only person you can really trust is yourself. If you’re hesitant about having sex then sit down with yourself and understand why it is you don’t want to rush into having sex. If you’re just afraid of women then hire some hot escort for a girl friend experience.

It may seem a little expensive to get a escort, but it could save you a lot of time and money that you’d spend on a girlfriend to get her into bed.

Sticking your dick inside a girls vagina isn’t everything. If you think it is then you should go somewhere else.

P.S. You DON’T need to give yourself a nickname. The reason I go by “V” is cause it came from another nickname (”Virgin”), and I also like my privacy. Just be yourself, it’s all you can and should do.

—

If you have any questions my e-mail is v [at] becomingapua.com

Hi V,

I wanted to ask you - what is your approach to the game?

I wasn’t sure of the right way to phrase this question, so I will elaborate. When/where/how do you meet women? What are your ideal situations for approaching women?

For instance, I might see guys run into traffic to cross a street because they see a hot girl, and then tell them “you are fucking sexy”. Or, I might see a guy jump into a limo with a bunch of hot girls in it. Or it might be something less spectacular like walking up to a girl who is walking down the street. Or it just might be going to clubs.

Some of the ways guys in the community approach girls I feel are inappropriate unless there is something about the girl that you absolutely have to meet her regardless of the consequences of the inappropriate approach. I feel like there are so many girls out there that completely going out of your way to meet someone, running across the street or otherwise, is unnecessary a lot of the time. I feel like a lot of the time, being “normal” can get the girl, and trying to be
spectacular will actually make her not want to see you again. What are your views on this topic?

Thanks.

J

Hey Justin,

I meet women wherever I run into them. I used to plan out my days in a robotic fashion, but I prefer to be myself and not a robot.

I do go out to bars during the ideal times (Thursday, Friday, and Saturday), but I do whatever I have to do during the week (i.e. go to the mall to buy some crap, go to the book store to get a book, go to the grocery store for some groceries, etc.)

There are women EVERYWHERE. You just open your eyes and your mouth.

There are A LOT of nut jobs in the pick-up “community”. Many of which are developing future nut jobs.

Here’s a video of one of the “respected” idiots (Alex from Real Social Dynamics): (Update: I guess this is a parody.)

Sure you can do some “crazy” things like running across the street to meet an attractive girl, but that’s just to expand your reality. It doesn’t mean you run across the street every time you want to meet a girl.

The whole point of this journey, if you want to call it that, is to find who you are, not to copy some idiot from Real Social Dynamics or some other cult-like pick-up business.

If you are happy with your progress then keep doing what you’re doing, if you are at a plateau then try some “crazy” shit to break through that plateau.

—

If you have any questions my e-mail is v [at] becomingapua.com

Hey V,

I’m another fan of your website. I was just wondering, what’s your take on meeting girl friends online?

I have a more specific example. Truth is, I’m only 15. I’m trying to get the art down early so I am an experienced pick-up artist by the time I hit college, when it’s really going to matter. I’ve met some girls I might be interested in online (not through a dating service of course, just through perusing forums and through networking sites) and I have always been at a loss at how to correctly handle the situation. Any advice on this subject would be much appreciated.

I find that meeting girls, between ages 18 and 25, from the Internet too easy. I’m 23 so I prefer to meet girl friends in real life, cause I can approach a wider array of women in real life than a 15-year-old could.

If you want experience then you want quantity, not quality.

Being that you’re 15 I’d recommend the following:

- Use the Internet (i.e. Facebook, myspace . . .) when finding girls to date. It’ll allow you to find many girls around your age with ease.

- When it comes to cold approaching I’d recommend the street. Approach everyone (guys, girls, young, old, black, white) and introduce yourself.

With approach and dating experience you’ll be more than ready when you get to college.

Once you’re in college, and of legal drinking age, then focus on finding dates in the real world and less on the Internet

—

If you have any questions my e-mail is v [at] becomingapua.com

awesome stuff on your site first off. I read, watch and listen to seduction material every single day.I’ve made progress yet….I still don’t approach, sarge or talk to women. I have very low self esteem and although I feel that I have made progress it’s not enough to get me talking to strangers, trying material or going out and sarging. I feel that If I had friends that were into this stuff I would be more inclined to actually sarge. How do you recommend I meet other AFC’s or people willing to give me some first had knowledge in my city Northern Virginia/Washington D.C that are willing to sarge with me? I have hit up everybody in my geographical area on fastseduction MASF but have gotten no responses except one dude who claims to be a level 5(website rating of himself) PUA but hardly goes out sarging anymore.

The ability for you to approach, sarge or talk to women is within you. Refrain from worrying about finding other guys who are into this material, cause it’ll likely result in a mental circle jerk.

If you HAVE to go out with other people then find regular guys who just go out to have fun.

It seems that you read, watch and listen to seduction material everyday just for mental masturbation.

Stop watching, reading and listening to seduction material until you have approached 100 different women.

Why? Cause it’ll get you out of your conscious (logical) mind and into your unconscious (creative) mind.

You seem to be stuck in your conscious mind (i.e. “Ah yes, that is the perfect routine to get a one night lay. Yes! Imagine the girls I could get by using it …).

When you’re stuck in the conscious mind then you can’t use your unconscious mind to it’s full potential.

If your unconscious mind can keep you breathing and keep your heart beating then I think it can handle a conversation with an attractive woman.

Stop thinking and start doing. You’ll learn more about yourself and develop a way of approaching and meeting women that fits you.

—

If you have any questions my e-mail is v [at] becomingapua.com

hi there i was wonder which books are good to get i am after a few things such maybe a book of tricks or mind test and nlp i was thinking something a bit like Darren brown any good recommendations Jamie

First I’d suggest you focus on learning grammar and spelling. What good is it learning about linguistics and persuasion when you can’t even construct a proper sentence?

On writing proper sentences get The Elements of Style, Fourth Edition.

When it comes to spelling get a good dictionary. I prefer The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition.

If you want to be like Derren Brown then get his book. It’s called Tricks of the Mind.

To understand how to influence others you should check out Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion.

For an NLP book check out NLP: The New Technology of Achievement.

The above book recommendations are just introductions. Once you get through those then study the people Derren Brown studied (i.e. Banachek).

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If you have any questions my e-mail is v [at] becomingapua.com

Hey V,

I recently found your website and I’m really intrigued by your 50 woman “wanna fuck” challenge. I’ve had some pretty good success with women lately, but when I was reading how that experience affected you, I felt like there’s something that you gleaned from the experience that I’d really benefit from. Soooooo, I’ve decide to do it, and I’d like to do it as quickly as possible. Are there any tips you could give me, or just talk shop with me a bit about it? I’m unsure as to where to go to do this, could you suggest some places? Also, when you did it, did you approach groups, or girls with guys? I could see the latter being a problem in particular especially because some dudes just get shit crazy when they’re threatened and turn super aggressive, so obviously I can see the inherent risk of that, but maybe that’s a good growing experience. I know a lot of this just comes down to common sense and personal judgment, but if you could shed some light that will help me gain the most from the experience I’d really appreciate it. Thankyou so much in advance, and for your time in reading this.

Solidscore

PS- I’ll write back to tell you how it went.

For those who have no idea what Solidscore is talking about just go to this post.

If you are well known in your city, or have a respectable position that you don’t want to screw with, then go to another city to perform this.

I’d suggest a local University/College when performing this, cause of the concentration of hot girls. If something should go wrong then go to another building and the girl(s) you had issues with are likely to graduate in 1 to 4 years.

BUT since you want to get this over with quickly, and it is summer, then go to malls and/or festivals and/or bars.

When it comes to who to approach then, again, use common sense. I’m decent in getting out of situations when someone gets irate so I’d approach anyone EXCEPT couples (got to have SOME respect) and girls with relatives (you’re asking for it if you approach a girl with her father).

You don’t have to do all 50 in a single day. You can do 5 a day for 10 days and just approach girls who are alone.

The great thing about this is that, afterwards, approaching girls becomes A LOT easier.

Let me know how it goes.

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If you have any questions my e-mail is v [at] becomingapua.com

I read through some of your blogs and really enjoyed them. The short of
things is, would you like to contribute articles to our website? Perhaps
something like that could be utilized on our website. Please read more
below.

I’m the Marketing and Events Manager for Kizmeet and HurryDate (our parent
company Spark Networks is widely known for JDate and MingleMatch).

Our current traffic is very strong and of course we’d like to make it even
stronger. Through our very intensive marketing efforts we’ll only continue
to grow. We have advertisements on some of the largest love related
(dating, networking, mingling) websites in the world: JDate.com and the
MingleMatch.com companies, as well as the ubiquitous HurryDate.com.

Please go to Kizmeet.com and take a look through our “Press” section, and
you will find a myriad of fantastic press coverage from many different
mediums — very notably “E!”. We’ve also begun a vast number of guerilla
marketing initiatives, internet marketing, and more PR campaigning.

What we’d like to do is create another reason for people to come back to the
website — articles. The articles will be based on love, relationships,
dating, flirting. The “dos and don’ts”; the “how tos”; the “was he/she
flirtings?”; and whatever other great ideas come up.

The website offers a practical online way of searching for missed
connections, but it’s also enjoyed for the entertainment of reading other
people’s posts. Some people find the posts absolutely adorable, some people
find some of the posts to be humorous.

I’d like to find out if you’d be interested in cross-marketing. That is
sharing each other’s traffic; sharing each other’s content.

The increased traffic and the Kizmeet notoriety should help you secure
advertisements if that’s what you’re seeking; it certainly should help you
secure wider popularity as well.

Let me know if this is something that you feel can benefit your blog/you.

Sincerely,

Jason Hobbs, Marketing and Events Manager

No thanks.

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If you have any questions my e-mail is v [at] becomingapua.com