Being In Focus

Effete

2012-02-23T07:54:40Z

I’m an effete, unimpressive version of what I could have been. I come from a land where the people are real. It’s a place where breath hangs in the icy air, a definitive, visual confirmation of life. No one there needs to pay for rosy cheeks in a jar; blush is a natural and pleasant result of being. The struggle makes these people strong; when you’re near them you can feel their tenacity and before long you’ll revel in their joie de vivre.

A life of modern comfort and endless, warm sunshine has softened me I think. I can’t help but feel that man vs. freeway is not as enriching as man vs. nature. I’m fairly certain that surviving the mall is inherently less valuable than surviving the forest. When I moved to California an elderly member of the family indelicately warned that I’d lose my soul. She was right I suppose. I think it melted away under when I wasn’t looking.

Conundrum

2012-02-13T16:40:22Z

Thank you all so much for your words of sympathy on my last post. I really appreciate your kindness.

Posting a daily image at photoDiurnalis has been a very rewarding experience. Don’t get me wrong, at times the hunt for a daily image has made me miserable but for the most part I can’t deny the value of it. I’m thinking more about photography; I pretty much have to given my rule of posting one shot a day, taken that day. I’m also getting a better sense of the the kind of images that float my boat. I’m a lot darker than I thought.

There has been, however, an unintended consequence of posting my favorite shot on photoDiurnalis each day. Being In Focus is pretty much always going to get sloppy seconds. I haven’t figured out how to fix this yet. There are plenty of days when I find that I’ve only got one decent shot worthy of posting anywhere. Today I had a few shots that I liked so rather than dig into the archives or post a shot from my image-rich trip to Canada, I thought I’d post something current. I’m not sure whether this shot is better than the one I posted on Being In Focus’ sister site but I do like it. Here’s the photoDiurnalis pic for comparison.

However it turns out I’ve got to find a way to again give Being In Focus some attention. I feel like a really bad parent.

Addendum: I”m taking a page from my friend Doug Hickok who often shares links to great photography from around the world. Take a moment to check out the 2012 World Press Photo Contest Winners. The images are breathtaking.

Nanny

2012-02-07T06:12:48Z

My beloved grandmother and the great matriarch of our family died a few days ago. About a year and a half ago I said goodbye to my grandfather, Nan’s husband of 71 years. It’s hard for me to imagine the world without my Nan and Gump. Here are my words for the memorial service.

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About a year and a half ago we comforted Nan and said goodbye to her husband of more than 70 years and my grandfather, Gump. We marveled at the life they shared and the amazing opportunity our family had to be a part of something so timeless and real in an otherwise plastic, disposable world. Now, although we have to say goodbye to Nan she’ll never really be gone from our lives. She lives on for us in a million different ways, timeless impressions she’s left in our hearts and minds.

Some of those impressions at first seem inconsequential but now their significance is magnified. The other day I found myself looking up at the sky with my kids and reciting:

“Last night the moon had a golden ring,
And to-night no moon we see!”
The skipper, he blew whiff from his pipe,
And a scornful laugh laughed he.”

A little boy in Eastern Canada in the 1970s might never have found words by Longfellow on his own but I did because Nanny was a poet at heart. Words such as these flowed from her with ease and filled our lives with the pure beauty of verse. Her own poetry could melt the heart of the toughest soul and told the tale of girl who faced much in life but also told of one who lived fully. These words, her words and the love she had for sharing them live on in all of us, as they will for my children and their children.

Some of the impressions Nan left are unmistakably monumental. I don’t think I’ve ever known a kinder soul than my grandmother. In a world full of self-interested people and those only willing to pay lip service to sacred ideals, Nanny was the real thing. Though overused it feels particularly appropriate to say that Nan didn’t just talk the talk, she walked the walk. For those of us that had the great fortune to walk with her on the journey, it was impossible not to be constantly reminded of life’s most important value. In all things be good and kind; give more to others than you ask of them. If you can do this simple thing every day, you’ll change the world.

I love you Nan–thank you for changing my world.

Tough Old Bird

2012-01-30T04:33:05Z

It’s difficult to describe the joy with which my parents have each embraced the role of grandparent. My mom has often marveled at how deeply she fell head over heels for my kids; it’s probably a little bit of a strange realization, that you love your children’s children as much as you love your own. However it happened, they did fall hopelessly in love with my two rapscallions and nothing really will stand in their way when it comes to being with them. Take for instance a few weeks ago when I set out with my little family to spend Christmas and New Years with my uncle, aunt, cousins and parents in Canada.

The day before we arrived my dad was heading in from the car when he stepped where there should have been ground but instead was ditch. He took a nasty fall which he mockingly describes as rolling over his belly into a direct face-plant. In the process of landing this swan-dive, he managed to fracture his ulna. He got up, dusted himself off…and that’s about it…no doctor, no x-ray, no hospital. Not too many hours later he drove several hours with the broken arm resting on the lower part of the steering wheel to pick us up at the airport. I knew something was up when he sheepishly let us know that he’d only be able to get one of our bags. With some prodding he let me know about the fall and that he was unable to raise his arm past his midsection and had lost the ability to turn his palm toward the ground. On Christmas Eve Day I accompanied him to the local emergency department where the fracture was confirmed and treatment undertaken.

This story does have a happy ending though. Through it all he managed to have a wonderful time with his grandkids and they with him and Grandma. There were still oodles of one-armed hugs, lots of laughter, plenty of presents and a huge helping of Holiday cheer. In the end, this tough old bird refused to let a broken wing get in the way of being Grandpop.

Thanks Mom and Dad, for being the best grandparents EVER!

Treasures

2012-01-24T02:22:17Z

Every day for my kids is a treasure hunt; they get such joy from finding little gems. There’s a beautiful innocence to their excitement; the world is so new to them and all it’s best bits are yet to be discovered. Wouldn’t it be nice to have an ounce of that enthusiasm again? Wouldn’t it be great to pick up a seed-casing and look with wonder at the star pattern? It would be cool I think, to be so in awe of the find that you just had to share it with your dad. Wouldn’t it be annoying to have Dad make you take time away from treasure-hunting to hold the loot up to the camera until he got just the perfect shot?

I’ve started my own little treasure hunt–it’s a daily-photo project called photodiurnalis. I hope you’ll swing by and check it out. It has in some ways for me, reignited the childhood excitement of discovery. Each day I set out, usually with the simplest of tools (e.g. Fujifilm Finepix x1oo), to find that perfect shot hidden deep within the scene. Sometimes it comes early in the day and others I struggle to find it late into the evening but no matter, each day I’ll take the one I like best and throw it up…I probably could have said that better. I wont lie, some days I come up empty handed but I’m getting a bit of my optimism back. The next cool seed-casing might be just around the corner after all.

A Little Bit Of New

2012-01-17T03:27:41Z

A little bit of new is always good. It keeps us on our toes and makes us feel alive. A few weeks ago while on vacation I tried a few new things photographically–things like this long-exposure image of a fishing weir disappearing into the mighty Atlantic. It’s not technically perfect but I think I like it…no, I know I like it because I gave it a go dammit.

So here’s the thing. I’m trying something new and I hope you’ll bear with me. I’ve started a new photoblog called photodiurnalis where I’ll be trying a little bit of new a little bit more frequently–daily in fact. Being In Focus is not going away; I love her far too much. I’ll continue to post here and write about the things in my life that matter so please don’t go away. But if you’re up for a little bit of new then please swing by photodiurnalis where I’ll be posting a new image each day, taken that day…or die trying.

How To Ruin A Sunset

2012-01-13T05:24:30Z

I was lounging about one evening while on vacation when my uncle who’d been out running errands called and told me that there was a pretty beautiful sunset happening and that I might want to get off my arse to shoot it. Hard as it was to stop doing nothing, I leaped up, put on my winter coat, fought my way into snow boots, grabbed gloves, donned a touque, wrapped a scarf, grabbed my camera and lumbered out toward a pretty beautiful scene. I wandered the beach trying different compositions and settings as the light slowly disappeared leaving beautiful color in its wake. It was great…great that is until I discovered that my camera had no memory card.

I cursed myself with a pox and then realized I was going to have to haul if I wanted any chance of catching the sunset. I set out at a sprint–well as much of a sprint as you can accomplish with the above mentioned snow garb. It took about 20 seconds for me to nearly die from my horrifying lack of physical conditioning. By the time I hit the road to my uncle’s house I was a wheezing, frothing, heaving mess of a human being. By the time I reached the house my transformation to Jabba the Hut was complete though I’m pretty sure he could move faster than me at that point. I grabbed the card and tried desperately to run back to the beach but, let’s be honest, it wasn’t really running by any accepted definitions. Fortunately for me, the best colors were yet to come and after some 10 minutes of trying to catch my breath I was actually able to stop shaking long enough to snap a few decent shots. Here’s one of them. It may be even harder to find time to take pictures but this hippopotamic land mass is definitely going to figure out a way to crow-bar some exercise into his life.

Sea Smoke

2012-01-10T03:05:59Z

In the early winter months when frigid polar air sweeps over the relatively warm waters surrounding Atlantic Canada a thing of beauty is created. Sea smoke, as the locals call it, is the result of the warmer surface air rising through the colder polar air until it eventually condenses into a form of fog that dances on the surface of the sea. It’s almost like being able to see the ocean’s breath on a cold winter day. I shot this phenomenon and was reminded of two things. First, New Brunswick is a place of natural wonder. I have been awed by its rugged beauty every day since I arrived for this little vacation. Second, New Brunswick can be one bone-cold place when it wants to be. Fully geard up for this shoot I was whimpering within 20 minutes of braving the Arctic winds that whipped through town. On a related note, I also learned that on mornings such as this, no matter how romantic the moment it is inadvisable to kiss your camera with tongue.

Goodbye New Brunswick, I’ll always love you.

Steps Taken

2012-01-05T13:13:15Z

A young man once took steps that lead him away from home; they were quick, light and full of anticipation for a better, more exciting life. He stepped into undiscovered country and learned new ways to think about the world and his place in it. Countless brazen strides were missteps taken alongside “the one” who turned out to be anything but. He wasn’t so cocksure when he took his first steps into anatomy lab, histology, microbiology and pharmacology. Those steps were unsteady and felt as though someone was randomly moving the earth beneath him. Eventually he found his way into the world of pediatrics; on most days that world filled him with joy and on a very few, the deepest sorrow imaginable. One day his steps matched those of another and she indeed was “the one.” Every step since then has been a little bit easier than if he’d taken it alone. There were steps that carried a colicky baby and steps that paced a waiting room hoping for any word from a surgeon entrusted with his most precious little gift. There have been countless steps, some taken down the right path others retraced and rerouted. Some of the very best were taken this week on the very land he rushed away from so many years ago. They were slower and heavier but the crisp New Brunswick air and rugged Atlantic Coast strengthened his stride. As it turns out, the steps home are some of the best steps taken.

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I hope you’ll take a few steps over to Daily Practice where you’ll find Marcie Scudder’s beautiful photography and inspiring words. She was just awarded American Photoblog of the Year! I’m so very happy for her. I’ve been spending some time with the family so I’ll be catching up with Marcie’s and everyone else’s posts in the coming days. Happy 2012!

Holding On

2011-12-18T05:47:07Z

I’ll admit that it’s been hard lately to hold on to the Christmas spirit; with each passing year I seem to be, well, less joyful. I’ve become somewhat a Christmas curmudgeon, a Scrooge, a Grinch. It’s cliché to say that the best bits of Christmas are long gone, replaced by gift grabbing, pepper-spraying, rugged individuals…it’s a cliché but I don’t think it makes it any less true. So when this week rolled around you can imagine my mood; I’d pretty much worked myself into a froth. It must have been evident to my family. It’s hard to hide this level of grumpiness. One particularly frantic morning I made for the door in a hurry knowing I’d be stuck in traffic filled with finger-flipping, horn-blasting, gridlocked Christmas elves. I was just about out when I heard my daughter yelling.

“Daddy, Daddy, wait!”
“What is it Button? Daddy’s late for work.”

She pulled her hand out from behind her back to reveal her teddy bear. With the sweetest smile she handed him to me and said, “he’ll keep you company if you get lonely.”

I think my little girl saved Christmas.

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Apologies to my Facebook friends who’ve already heard this story. I’ll be taking a break from posting over the Holidays but I’m giddy with excitement at the prospect of spending some time shooting (finally). I hope each and every one of you has a Holiday filled with the loving warmth of friends and family and a peaceful New Year.