Positively Depressed

I'm Back!!!

2015-04-27T13:26:00.001-04:00

Soooo...have you missed me?

I have so missed you.

It has been months without me here.

I so meant to do the April 2015 A to Z Blog Challenge

but as you can tell that didn't happen.

No excuses really,

just life and work got in the way of me blogging.

SIGH!!!!

Anyway, I am going to be a grandma!

My daughter, my only child is now five months pregnant.

It's going to be a girl!

May is Mental Health Month!

I am pledging with thousands of others to be

stigma free as a part of #MentalHealthMonth.

You should pledge to be #stigmafree too! - See more at: http://www.nami.org/Get-Involved/Raise-Awareness/Awareness-Events/Mental-Health-Month/Mental-Health-Month-Social-Media#sthash.Fi2jk5g0.dpuf

#MakeItHappen

2015-03-08T00:30:00.000-05:00

International Women's Day

#MakeItHappen

March 8, 2015

Empowering and Recognizing Women.

Make Equality Happen.

Women supporting Women

I pledge...

2015-03-07T17:06:00.000-05:00

“I pledge my commitment to the Blog for Mental Health 2015 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge , I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.”

Random Update

2014-10-23T10:37:00.000-04:00

I had great intentions of posting everyday

by participating in the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

Well, things have not gone as I had hoped.

But on a good note,

I have been cleaning up my blog.

It was so cluttered and chaotic.

(Hah! Just like my life)

I still have work to do and

it is definitely a work in progress.

Simplicity is key.

Less is more.

Yet, I do want to show a

little of my style, personality,

and embrace the hot mess

that I truly am.

Excuse the mess!

Yes, I am open.

My blog is currently under construction.

What would you do if you had no Internet access for 48 hours?

2014-10-16T10:57:00.001-04:00

Photo Credit: Mental Health Mission

This morning I was just casually browsing

through my newsfeed on Facebook like

I always do, (like almost 24/7) 'cause that is what

Facebook addicts like me do.

Photo Credit: Covermyfb

Hi my name is Jamie.

I am an addict.

My drug of choice is Facebook.

Anyway, back to this post.

Mental note: I am here and not there.

(Hah!)

I came across this post that said

"What would you do if you had no

Internet access for 48 hours?"

Now there's a thought.

My immediate comment was, "I might actually

do some real housework, LOL."

I should have said "I might actually do

something productive right now."

Shhh! I am really at work right now.

So I guess that means I need

to wrap this post up, huh?

Anyway, in my defense to the whole

being a Facebook addict thing,

I can honestly say that it has helped me

stay alive, to be able to wake up another day.

Depression sucks.

It sucks the energy out of you.

It makes you over think and

think of issues that weren't even there

in the first place.

I get really lonely at times, yet

don't want to leave the house.

I struggle everyday.

I am always so stressed out.

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I am tired of never having any money.

I am tired of telling people

"I am sorry I don't have the money."

I am tired of sleeping all the time.

Thankfully, I do have a job.

I have to work, even if I have to live

paycheck to paycheck.

So, maybe if I had 48 hours away from the Internet

I may be productive and I may not.

Please tell me!

What would you do if you had

no Internet access for 48 hours?

I would like to thank Mental Health Mission for

reminding me of my Facebook addiction.

This page aims to raise awareness, promote recovery and

help to end the stigma of mental health illnesses and

addictions.

It's all good though.

I do know my limits, okay maybe sometimes.

There are days that I do "Just say no!"

to Facebook, especially when there are

a lot of triggers and I find myself starting to

over think posts and quotes.

I am a highly sensitive soul.

Yeah, add that to the mix.

Such is life, my life.

I live it well.

I'm a Warrior

2014-10-08T10:20:00.000-04:00

Photo Credit: Soul Carrot

I have fought to stay alive my whole life.

I have fought to be the person I am today.

Despite my mental illness,

the long time domestic abuse I endured,

and countless other ongoing life struggles,

I continue to fight.

I am Truly a Warrior!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxaUv_UjaRA&list=PLVEMxgyaOraEe2FbiE5ynoHm--fkE-XGY&index=2

Mental Illness Awareness Week

2014-10-06T14:28:00.000-04:00

So as you are well aware,

I am the 1 in 4.

When I was 19, I was put on Prozac.
I basically drank my early 20's away.
Now, needless to say,
things didn't always mix well.
Alcohol and my Prozac were the best of friends,
more like frenemies, for sure.

When I was 25, I got pregnant.
Therefore, I quit drinking and smoking cold turkey.
Being pregnant also meant no Prozac.
I waited tables at Bob Evans during my pregnancy.
I survived but I am sure I left a lasting
impression on some of my customers.
Hah! Good old 1996.

Since then I have been on almost
every medication on the market:
Prozac (of course), Valium, Trazadone, Remeron,
Celexa, Wellbutrin, Lexpro, Effexor,
Paxil, Abilify, Cymbalta, Klonopin, Ritalin, Adderall.
(I know I am missing quite a few.)

The medicinal cocktail I currently am on is
Cymbalta (daily), Klonopin (as needed), Adderall (daily),
along with Metoprolol (for high blood pressure), throw in the Depo-Provera birth control shot, and top it off with
an inhaler or two and here I am.

I have Major Depressive Disorder,
Generalized Anxiety Disorder,
High Blood Pressure, Chronic Fatigue,
Seasonal Allergies, and Asthma,
just to name a few.

This week is Mental Illness Awareness Week.

I will leave you now with a little information!

Zany, Who Me?!?

2014-10-05T09:00:00.000-04:00

Photo Credit: Posh Coworking

Enough of the depressing stuff for now

(no pun intended or something like that),

on to the lighter side of being me.

Zany? Hmmm.

I am a little weird.
I like to think I am funny.
Yes, I am a little goofy
and ditsy;
downright silly at times.
But you know what?
I don't care what anyone thinks of me
I won't change who I am.
There is nothing wrong with me.
Okay, well, maybe I don't actually
have my shit together, yet, that is,
but stick around.
The best is yet to come!

Photo Credit: The Mind Unleashed

I didn't choose depression...

2014-10-03T12:34:00.002-04:00

Photo Credit: High AnXieties

And that my friends is all I really have to say about that!

Please share!!!

Depression

2014-10-02T13:32:00.002-04:00

Photo Credit: The Lonely Lotus

To make a long story short,
I remember, around age 12, feeling so totally alone.
This overwhelming sadness had come over me.
As I look back, I now know that this was more than
just being an emotional adolescent.
This was the first time I met Depression.

I was not diagnosed until I was 19.
On a cloudy, very cold, snowy Winter day,
I ended up walking to Hamilton Center,
a mental health center in my town.
I felt I had to do something.
I was going crazy with sadness.
It was consuming my life.

Now, at age 44
having been diagnosed with Major
Depressive Disorder and Anxiety
(among a few other things),
I refuse to hide my mental illness.

I am not alone.
You are not alone.

I am no longer ashamed.

Stay Tuned!
I will fill in the missing years
as time goes by.

I'm Back

2014-10-01T09:00:00.000-04:00

Photo Credit: Change Your Thoughts

It seems like forever since I wrote a blog post.
I kind of got stuck in a depressive rut.
Imagine that!

I tend to sleep a lot when I am depressed.
It is my way of not dealing with life.
And I even lie to myself and others by saying that
sleeping a lot is my way of healing.

Hah!

I can hear Dr.Phil now, "How's that working for ya?"
Well, honestly, I got through it didn't I?
(But I think I get what he is thinking)

So what better way to get backing to what
I love than jumping right into a blog challenge.

Yes, it will truly be a challenge in more ways than one.

Let me list the reasons why:

I have no Internet/WiFi at home.

My laptop has been broken all year.

I just have a little netbook and my cell.
(a little too small for my fat fingers)

And this little issue called Chronic Fatigue.

On the bright side:

I have Internet at work.
(I can sneak a few words in a post every now and then)

Sometimes I can pick up the next door
neighbors WiFI.
(my parents live next door...Yay!)

If I need to, I can write blog posts from my cell.
(the posts will be small, so I must make them mighty)

I must now say,
"Let the freaking challenge begin."

Oh, I forgot to mention the challenge
is just for the month of October.
(I will do my best to finish this one)

I am Me

2014-07-01T12:31:00.001-04:00

Only a few more letters to go!
I can do this!
It is only taking me three months
to finish a one month challenge.
HAH!

Photo Credit: Facebook

Photo Credit: Dave's Words of Wisdom

Photo Credit: XSsive Redhead

Valor

2014-07-01T10:56:00.004-04:00

Photo Credit: Caravan Sonnet

Valor, as it pertains to me and my life,
is personal bravery, perseverance, and courage to
be the warrior that I am.

Photo Credit:

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/85709199131680961/

Daily challenges are tough for me, yet
I am able to make it to the next day
knowing that my spirit is not broken.

My daring heart and soul has
endured lifelong sadness,
loneliness, stress, depression
and a midst the struggles of life
I still remain strong and hopeful.

That my friends is how I define valor!

Be Happy...Scientifically Speaking

2014-07-01T09:57:00.000-04:00

And the challenge goes on!
I am determined to finish it with
a big smile on my face...
happy that I am
accomplishing my goal.

"The bottom line is, being happier will not only help
you to be more productive during the day,
but it can also help you to live a longer life.
It’s one of the fundamental cornerstones of being
fulfilled during the short time we spend her on earth.
Hopefully this chart will put a smile on your
face and a pep in your step."
by Founders and Founders

Photo Credit: Founders and Founders

Photo Credit: Anna Taylor

Gratitude

2014-07-01T09:39:00.001-04:00

Better Late than never is always my policy.
Besides, I am learning to finish what I start.
So, I vow to finish the blog challenge this month.

I am most grateful for my parents,
my daughter, finally being able to be me,
and having hope for the future.

I am also grateful for laughter,
great times with awesome people,
and self-expression.

I am grateful for freedom, good music,
and the power of words.

I am grateful for love.

And most of the things above!

Suicide Awareness

2014-06-23T15:19:00.002-04:00

One woman's view on Suicide.

Spoiler Alert:

I cried through the whole post!

Imagine that.

A Perspective on Suicide

by Shawna Morrissey

@ Eat, Think, & Be Merry

Advice

2014-05-25T05:20:00.003-04:00

Photo Credit: Sue Fitzmaurice

This truly made me snicker.

(I think it was out of pure shock and amazement lol)

I had an "AH HA" moment,

maybe more like a "Duh" moment.

I literally laughed out loud

and thought to myself,

"Damn Jamie, why didn't you think of this."

(Seriously though, I think of

things, after the fact. HAH!)

I sure needed a favor, some advice,

something tonight.

Wow! Just what I needed.

Seeing things from another point of

view really puts my life in a new perspective.

This has definitely been

enlightening, for sure.

Thank you, Sue Fitzmaurice,

for doing the world a service.

Smile....It's Dolphins!

2014-05-22T14:02:00.003-04:00

Video Credit:

http://sfglobe.com/?id=714&src=share_fb_new_714

Share the Love!

I

Photo Credit: Community.Sephora.com

DOLPHINS

Don't Underestimate Me :)

2014-05-22T13:19:00.002-04:00

Photo Credit: Original Origin from http://lessonslearnedinlife.com/
...I found it this at https://www.facebook.com/therebelcircus?fref=photo

I do have a big mouth though

and I am not afraid to use it.

I am a genuinely nice person,

but never mistake my kindness as a weakness.

I am not naive just maybe a little too

trusting at times.

I care too much about people and things
that do not care about me.
I love wholeheartedly.

But remember one thing,
I always notice way more than anyone ever realizes.

Woe is me,
the one who has a highly sensitive soul.

Just Saying

Photo Credit:
https://community.sephora.com

Up The Happy

2014-05-22T12:52:00.004-04:00

Photo Credit: lightpaper

Yes! Please.

Photo Credit:
http://www.clipartandcrafts.com

That is all!

Happy Mother's Day Mamas!

2014-05-11T09:00:00.000-04:00

Photo Credit:
https://www.facebook.com/klovemornings?fref=photo

I love you, mom!

You are the best.

Even though you might not

understand my depression

and you say that you just

don't know how to help me,

I still truly appreciate your

unconditional love <3!

Photo Credit: Original Origin Unknown

Just Saying

2014-05-03T02:00:00.000-04:00

If you can laugh at yourself literally,
make fun of yourself,
and are not afraid to be a little silly,
seriously you can do anything.
(Just Saying)

Photo Credit: someecards.com

Photo Credit: Rebel Circus

Photo Credit: Original Origin Unknown
Found on Facebook

My Normal To Do List

2014-05-01T09:00:00.000-04:00

Some days this is all the
motivation I have to do anything.

Just to stay awake some days
is truly impossible.

Photo Credit: http://sarahbear9708.tumblr.com/page/20

Oh, the ever loving Selfie

2014-04-30T16:11:00.000-04:00

**Click Title Below to Read Article **

Scientists Link Selfies To Narcissism,

Addiction & Mental Illness

What do you think about this?

While you are pondering this,
here are a few selfies of me.

Here is what I think of the whole selfie thing:

I am not a narcissist.
I despise those who are.

Yes, I am addicted to social media.
But I am lonely and it occupies my time.

No, I am not addicted to posting selfies
by no means, but I do like that I am
beginning to like certain things about me.

Yes, I do have to take several pictures at a time
in order for me to find ones I like.

And yes I suffer from a mental illness,
but it has nothing to do with me taking selfies.

I do love attention, but when I post my selfie
I do not do it with the hopes or intention of
getting likes and comments.
I do it just because I can.
I am finally getting a little more
comfortable at seeing myself in print.
I grew up hating having my picture taken.
I hated seeing myself.
I thought I was so ugly.
I am no way near 100% comfortable
in my own skin (hence the fact I only
do head shots) but I am working on it.

Of course I understand that some
people can take selfies to the extreme.
I am sorry it causes problems for some.

We all have our reasons why
we do the things we do.
Honestly, I think that the professionals
have blown the whole selfie thing out of control.
But it is what it is.

Make a wish

2014-04-30T08:02:00.002-04:00

I know I am a day late.

Bear with me.

The Blogger App on my phone

did not want to work last night.

Ugghhh!

But be sure and mark your

calendars for next year.

Photo Credit: Happy Everything

Here the wish I made yesterday:

Photo Credit: Original Origin Unknown