being robyn lane

to carter, on the occasion of your eleventh

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Sat, 20 Aug 2022 15:15:00 +0000

"Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

-- Dr. Seuss

Dear Carter Christopher,

There are three memories from the past year that will mark for me the year that I said to myself, My goodness, he is coming into his own.

1 On our beach vacation this summer, you told an original joke (or so you claimed). Typing it here would fall flat, because it could never match your delivery that had me in tears. You held the room without trying and released the punchline with perfect timing. You wanted to be funny, and you were. It was legitimate humor that made me so proud, because one day you'll understand that good humor can carry you through a heap of hard times.

2 You and Lukey helped to purchase your own Gizmo watches, which means you now have a phone number entered into my phone. Your profile was listed as "Little Man," and when you saw this, you said, Ughhh. I don't like that. And so, you're now just Carter in my phone. It was a little sad for me - I've called you LM since you were in utero - but you're growing up, and you get to decide what nicknames you like or don't like. I'm glad you told me.

3 You played on a flag football team that was reminiscent of the Bad News Bears. You won exactly one game, and I think it was the very last one. Mid-season, you told me how terrible the team was, and I appreciate that you owned it, with no sugar-coating, and persevered anyway. You'll have to do that many times over this side of heaven, so it's good that you're learning that now.

Your mom and dad have some memories from this year, too, and it's important that we document them, because sometimes it's hard to stop and remember moments that matter.

I'd describe Carter's personality with these few words:
mom: Curious and kind.
dad: A walking encyclopedia who thinks he's funny.

Carter is most grown-up when he ...
mom: Talks to anyone about sports. He has an encyclopedic knowledge.
dad: Takes the time to speak to and give attention to the 3-year-old neighbor kids.

Carter was proudest this year when he ...
mom: Completed his first ever 5k.
dad: Caught a pass for a 2-point conversation to help his flag football team win a game.

My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...

mom: When a parent told me how well-mannered and courteous Carter was when he was visiting their home, and how they enjoyed having him over.

dad: Carter apologizing to a friend for things he was sorry for.

Carter's best qualities are:
mom: His excitement for life, his gentle nature around small children, his love for animals, his ability to ask why, his desire to learn.
dad: His gentleness and kindness, his imagination, his perseverance.

The hardest question Carter asked me/us this year was ...
mom: Can I stop [alopecia] treatment? It was painful to him. We realized he was old enough to have a say in his medical care.
dad: Regarding his value when he was feeling worthless.

After his eleventh birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: More big kid experiences with him.
dad: Our first camping experience.

This is a part of growing up: to be who you are and to say what you feel, and it's such fun to watch you do that. You are thoughtful in how you think, articulate in how you express yourself, curious in how you approach the world, honest in how you process it, and gentle in how you interact with others.

Next year, you'll likely have surpassed my height, but I suspect your heart will have grown, too, and we love watching it all.

Cheers to eleven. We love you.

to luke, on the occasion of your seventh

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Mon, 28 Mar 2022 16:07:00 +0000

"The world belongs to the energetic."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dear Luke Taylor,

This was the year you lost teeth, chopped your bangs, played tee-ball, competed on a swim team, joined a flag football league, constructed thousands of LEGOs, went to first grade, (unknowingly) charmed lots of little girls, and remained in what seemed to be a constant state of motion.

During a flag football game water break, you said to your dad, breathless, Wonder what activity is next? He noted that you sounded out of breath, to which you responded, But not out of energy.

If there was ever a summary of how you experience the world, it is that.

Maybe my favorite thing about you these days is your imagination. You have a knack for creating basketball or football games in your mind while you play them out as a one-man act. You're the coach, the referee, the play-by-play announcer, and multiple players, all at once. It's something to behold.

When you tell us about these contests, you talk about how they happen "in your world," and "not in the real world." Goodness gracious, I laugh at how you dream. What a gift.

If your mind is active, your mouth is hyperactive. Your words come freely and without filter, and if you weren't so dang funny, you'd drive us all bananas.

You still love your brother to pieces, and he loves you, and that means you fight some, too. But mostly, I think you two are as thick as thieves when it counts.

For better or worse, Lukey, you are the baby of the family, and your mom and dad are both eager and sad to see you grow up so big.

Here are a few things they'll remember from this year.

I'd describe Luke's personality with these few words:
mom: Strong-willed, competitive, loving, brave, joyful, energetic.
dad: Toothless chatterbox in perpetual motion.

Luke is happiest when he ...
mom: Is outside.
dad: Is outside playing.

Luke is not-so-charming when he ...
mom: Does not get his way or pushes Carter's buttons on purpose.
dad: Slams doors in anger.

My proudest moment parenting Luke this past year was ...
mom: Watching his push for independence. He has been ready to do many things solo, long before my mom heart was ready for it.
dad: When he decided to make a sign on his own to cheer on Carter and me for our 5k.

Luke's best qualities are:
mom: He is helpful, snuggly, thoughtful, and loving.
dad: His energy and his helpfulness.

My heart broke a little bit this past year when ...
mom: Kids were picking on him at the beginning of the school year.
dad: He started being left out of playing with Carter and his friends.

The hardest question Luke asked me/us this year was ...
mom: What do they do with zoo animals when they die?
dad: Why someone wouldn't play with him.

After his seventh birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Watching his personality, friendships, and interests evolve.
dad: His smile with all of his new teeth.

Just yesterday, you had a birthday celebration in the green space near your house that included an oversized bouncy house, twenty-something children from your class and neighborhood, and a few fans of yours who share your last name.

Every time a new guest arrived, you ran full speed to them, greeted them with excitement, and thanked them for coming to your party.

I could have cried every time you did, because you are joyful and enthusiastic and captivated by the world and its experiences in a way that is pure and true.

And this is how life is with you. Everything to you is wonderful. We're just glad to be in your wonderful world.

Happy seventh, Lukey. We love you and every ounce of your energy.

to carter, on the occasion of your tenth

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Fri, 20 Aug 2021 11:43:00 +0000

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step."
-- Lao Tzu

Dear Carter Christopher,

So much changes in one year, and so much stays the same. Your latest growth spurt has put you at 100 lbs on the scale, and at nearly my eye level, and I'm altogether alarmed by this reality.

On the other hand, your eyes still bear your soul, ask your questions, and reveal your feels, as they always have.

You started fourth grade this very week, and gratefully, you still love school and learning. You've got a favorite buddy in your class, and it has been tender to watch the seeds of that friendship start to grow. I know we're totally depraved people, but I see in you the capacity to be a kind and trustworthy friend, and we hope for rich and fruitful friendships in your life.

Speaking of school, when Lukey started kindergarten last year, you gave him sage advice that only a big brother could give: Just follow directions, do your work, and have fun playing on the playgrounds. He's lucky to have you looking out for him.

You two welcomed a puppy to the fold at Christmas. You've always been a natural with the neighborhood pups, and it's fun to watch you with your own.

When I came to visit you this spring, you asked me if I'd like to "check out your athletic skills." That was an easy yes, and we played basketball at "the hoop" in your neighborhood. You also took a leap and played on a flag football team this summer, never taking the field without your official Georgia Bulldog receiver gloves.

I'm proud of you for trying new things, especially when you're nervous at first.

And my goodness, the sports. You memorize the ESPN news ticker without effort, and you pore over baseball card collections from two generations before you. You don't miss an opportunity to comment on playoffs or championships or tournament brackets in any discipline.

This isn't new, but it's worth noting: Your mom and dad continue to be so faithful in persevering as your parents. They advocate for you and encourage you and engage with you about all sorts of things going on in your heart and mind. They're still wild for you.

They'll look back on this year and want to remember these things.

I'd describe Carter's personality with these few words:
mom: Gentle, kind, inquisitive, loving.
dad: 99% boy, 1% his mom's snuggle buddy.

Carter is most grown-up when he ...
mom: Curls himself up and gets lost in a book.
dad: Is putting on deodorant. 😭

Carter was proudest this year when he ...
mom: Completed his swimming program that he has worked on for 2.5 years.
dad: Finally graduated to Elite Fish status and got his trophy for finishing swim lessons.

My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...
mom: When Carter learned a new boy was starting school with him. He was so excited to meet him. We reminded him about what it was like to be new and to be extra-kind and inclusive. Turns out Carter and the new boy got along great and quickly became friends. Two weeks later, I met the boy's father who made a point to tell me that his son talked about how kind Carter was to him on the first day and days that followed. This boy, whose name is Ethan, is now one of Carter's closest friends. Every day the last thing I tell my kids is, "be kind." I'm glad to know they are listening.
dad: When Carter welcomed a new kid to his class in the middle of the school year. His teacher gave him responsibility to help this classmate get adjusted. He took initiative to develop a friendship with him. They are best friends now.

Carter's best qualities are:
mom: His kind heart and his desire to learn.
dad: His curiosity, his kindness, his innocence, his persistence.

The hardest question Carter asked me/us this year was ...
mom: When will Covid be gone? When can things go back to normal?
dad: Why isn't anyone passing me the ball? That was after 3 flag football games and no balls thrown his direction.

After his tenth birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Watching him gain more confidence in who he is and who he can become.
dad: Watching how his desire for sports participation evolves.

When I consider your single decade in this world, it is somehow both short and long. Time has flown, but there is deep satisfaction and reward in watching you grow.

It seems like only a few miles, and yet a lot of little steps.

We're so proud of the things you've tried, the steps you've taken. New books, unfamiliar sports, cooking camp, caring for a puppy, and even initiating friendship.

These are all steps in a journey of a thousand miles, and it's a joy to be on the journey with you, Little Man.

Happy tenth. We adore you, still.

to luke, on the occasion of your sixth

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Sun, 28 Mar 2021 11:43:00 +0000

"Remember to smile."
-- Nelson Mandela

Dear Luke Taylor,

While I was in your town this past week for work, I got to swing by your house for a quick (outdoor) visit. I climbed out of the car, asked you what was new, and you said, Well. Only four more days until my birthday.

And indeed, here we are. You are six!

A year ago, your birthday party was cancelled because of the pandemic (I won't address this again, because it is old news and tiring), and this year may also be understated. But you did have a guess for me about what might play out: Probably all my presents will be LEGOs.

This year you have developed quite a knack for building and creating those kits, and it's fulfilling to see you accomplish projects like these.

You and your brother were surprised this past Christmas with your new pup, Teddy. You enjoy him so, and I think he likes you too.

For all his cute, Teddy will never compete with your big brother. He's still your favorite. This is a broken record, but there are worse broken records to endure.

You started kindergarten this year, and although there are many things about it that you are smitten with, you have thoroughly enjoyed learning to read. The wonder of language is never lost on me, and it's a delight to see your eyes light up when you sound out a new word or finish a book. Books and stories and characters will expand your world for a lifetime, and I hope you never stop imagining what's behind the words on those pages.

You also are venturing into t-ball, which is a thrill. Your team is the Trash Pandas, and you are very pleased with your uniform. You are fast, so base-running might be your forte. We'll see. What I do know is that our family has single-handedly contributed to an uptick in merchandise sales of the (actual) Trash Pandas minor league team. We are all in.

Here are a few things your mom and dad will want to remember about your sixth year:

I'd describe Luke's personality with these few words:
mom: Competitive, brave, determined, loving, stubborn.
dad: Trash Panda.

Luke is happiest when he ...
mom: Is with Carter.
dad: Is running around outside or playing Legos with Carter.

Luke is not-so-charming when he ...
mom: Whines and complains in an attempt to get his way or when he is bored.
dad: Is asked to eat a vegetable.

My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...
mom: Watching him learn to read and really enjoy it.
dad: When Luke told me we should give food and drink to someone on the side of the road who was asking for it. So we did.

One time this past year when I thought I was going to lose my mind was ...
mom: Both times we were quarantined for Covid. Luke is a social kid. Isolation is not great for him.
dad: Either when he pooped on the bathroom floor, or when he pushed a bowl of corn onto the floor breaking the bowl (see above comment about vegetables).

Luke's best qualities are ...
mom: He is very loving and affectionate. He's a great helper.
dad: His willingness to try new things; speaking his mind; his desire to finish; his excitement for just about everything.

My heart broke a little bit this past year when ...
mom: He had trouble with a friend at school. He just couldn't understand why the relationship changed and why someone was being unkind to him.
dad: He came home and told us that one his buddies at school told him he didn't want to be friends anymore. First dose of rejection.

I laugh out loud when Luke ...
mom: Gets talking about what's on his mind and just doesn't stop. We went on a walk once, and he barely let me say one word. He also does an epic eye roll for someone so young.
dad: Dances. And when he told me we should get Mom a dress from Lowe's for her birthday.

After his sixth birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Watching him continue to be his own person. He spends a lot of time doing what Carter wants to do because Carter is his favorite person, but I've seen him slowly developing his own thoughts and opinions, and I'm eager to hear them and where that might lead him.
dad: Trying new sports, and continuing to find his own voice in our family.

One of the ~~high~~ low-lights of the past year was a dental emergency where your teeth were literally knocked out of your mouth.

Look, it wasn't fun in the moment, but you handled it like a champ. You told me earlier this week that your family's goal for this year was "to keep all your teeth in your mouth."

Here's hoping, Lukey, because your smile is killer. You are exuberant and cheerful and jovial, and I can't imagine the world without your signature grin.

Happy Sixth, Littlest. We sure do love you and your smile.

to carter, on the occasion of your ninth

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Thu, 20 Aug 2020 11:53:00 +0000

"The world belongs to the people who are curious."
-- Albert Einstein

Dear Carter Christopher,

These days, your legs are so long and your questions are so profound that I forget you're only nine. And yet here we are, also wondering how you've grown up so. It's a strange tension.

You are reading like crazy, and your curiosity about animals, science, and space seems to multiply with every book. You read sometimes to Luke, and it's sweet to watch you share those interests with him. He wants to be like you in nearly every way, and your love of books wouldn't be the worst thing to inspire.

The outdoors is still your happy place, especially the pool. You could splash around and dive for toys and wrestle your dad and brother for hours.

You shed those training wheels this year, so bike-riding is a new outdoor favorite. (Of course, Lukey shed his soon after too, because he will not be left behind.)

They say imitation is the best form of flattery, and you do enjoy a bow tie like your dad. The bow tie is cute, but watching you adore your dad is magic.

Speaking of imitation, the Littlest is still enamored with you, and although you have it out with him some days, you humor him mostly. You're learning how to do brotherly love that lasts. I love watching that.

Your mom and dad are so intentional about nurturing your interests, introducing you to new experiences, and helping you learn all that your curious heart desires. Here's how they'll remember this past year:

I'd describe Carter's personality with these few words:
mom: Curious, friendly, kind, sensitive.
dad: Gentle giant, literal Larry.

Carter is most grown-up when he ...
mom: Is deep into a book. He really enjoys reading nonfiction and learning and asking questions.
dad: Is sitting reading a book to Luke.

Carter was proudest this year when he ...
mom: Read a story he wrote in front of a group of parents and classmates. He is very fearful of performing but he did it, and it was wonderful.
dad: Started riding his bike without training wheels.

My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...

mom: When Luke decided he wanted to go off the diving board and needed to swim 25 meters in order to do so. Carter waited for him at the end of the pool, and when Luke completed the lap, Carter ran to him and exclaimed, "Well done!" and pulled him in for a big hug. I want my kids to be cheerleaders for others. This was evidence that he is listening and learning.

dad: Him participating in his fun run at school and reading a book to his class.

Carter's best qualities are ...
mom: His desire to learn and then the ability to teach/discuss/question.
dad: His curiosity, his creativity, his loving-kindness.

The hardest question Carter asked me/us this year was ...
mom: After Chris was volunteering at Covid testing centers, he asked if Daddy was going to get sick. His anxious heart was so afraid.
dad: What happens to me if I don't believe in Jesus? Will I go to hell? Or asking about Passover and why God would allow babies to be killed, because he doesn't make mistakes.

After his ninth birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Watching him grow in confidence into who he was meant to be.
dad: Carter discovering more about the gifts God has given him and building confidence to try something new.

I don't know what the history books will say about 2020, but they may well record it as the year the world stopped in many ways. In fact, thanks to COVID-19, your second grade class was abruptly thrust into a virtual experience after spring break, and you missed your teacher and classmates terribly.

But, your curiosity about the world, your reading, your seeking, and your questions just never stopped. It's a good reminder to me that even when the world around us doesn't make much sense, and even when we might feel uncertain or anxious, there are parts of us that are meant to remain intact.

You have been made by a good Father, who is the most creative Creator, and he makes no mistakes. He formed you exactly the way he intended, and he desires you to become more like him. It's what we hope for.

And, we hope you never stop being curious about him. He's worth every question.

Happy ninth, Little Man. We're (still) crazy about you.

to luke, on the occasion of your fifth

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Sat, 28 Mar 2020 11:17:00 +0000

"It's faith in something and enthusiasm for something
that makes a life worth living."
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes

Dear Luke Taylor,

This smirk of yours. Sometimes it's sweet, sometimes it's sassy, sometimes it's shy, and sometimes it's just straight swagger. But it's always enthusiastic.

These days, you are not mysterious; we all know where you stand about everything. If your emotions and expressions don't tell us, your mouth does.

You're competitive. While we're playing games, you'll proclaim with confidence, I'm dominating you! or, I'm the Champion of the World!

You like to be in charge. While we played trains in your room one day, you were pretty particular about my role in the game. You sure are bossy, I said. Well you're in my room, you fired back.

You love school. In particular, you enjoy practicing your letters and numbers with meticulous precision. You might be developing a small bent toward perfectionism. If that's the case, we'll be friends forever.

You're determined. When your brother tossed the training wheels on his bike, you did too. You set your mind on things, and then you make them happen.

One day while you both were out riding, your dad was taking video footage, and while he was focused on Carter, you yelled from the background, Dad! Are you proud of me? He twice promised yes, but it wasn't enough.

You wanted to hear him say the words, Yes! I'm proud of you!

He is, over and over again, and yet I love your raw, passionate, unrelenting ask.

Your mom and dad really are proud of you:

I'd describe Luke's personality with these few words:
mom: Brave, competitive, shy, and sweet.
dad: Me: "Luke, why are you so crazy?" Luke: "That's just what I do."

Luke is happiest when he ...
mom: Is with Carter.
dad: Is with Carter.

Luke is not-so-charming when he ...
mom: Whines when he is bored.
dad: Whines, throws fits. Every time.

My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...
mom: When he learned to ride his bike, and when he figured out how to swim a lap of the pool freestyle and backstroke. I like watching him work to achieve things he really wants to do.
dad: Watching Luke in his Christmas program at school.

One time this past year when I thought I was going to lose my mind was ...
mom: Incessant whining during stay at home time during the Coronavirus.
dad: Finding Luke naked in the bathroom with poop all over the bathroom.

Luke's best qualities are ...
mom: How much he loves life, his family, and friends. He is also so brave. He is always willing to try new things.
dad: Unbridled emotion. He's all in on how he feels about something. Loyal brother.

My heart broke a little bit this past year when ...
mom: His teacher sent a note home about a day of bad behavior (highly unusual for him), and he sobbed. He was so upset.
dad: Luke was acting out at home and we found out he was having a hard time dealing with another boy at school that was hitting him. It also breaks my heart every time Carter scolds him for something. It's like your idol crushing your soul.

I laugh out loud when Luke ...
mom: Talks a mile a minute while gesturing with his hand the whole time to make sure you really know what he is talking about.
dad: Has a great story and says things like, "This will burst your head," or "Your head will burst-ed," or "This will explode your brain when I tell you this." Also he is proud to show off his "happy" muscles and "sad" muscles. It's hilarious.

After his fifth birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Seeing him go to Big School with his brother. He will be so excited, and I will be thrilled and simultaneously sad.
dad: Seeing how excited Luke will be to walk to school with Carter as a kindergartner.

We spent Halloween together this past fall, and when I tell you there was a monsoon, I mean it. We splashed through puddles going door-to-door in costumes soaking wet, and I loved every minute of it.

Perhaps no more enthusiasm has come from your lips than when, stomping alongside me under my umbrella, you declared, This is the worst! Day! Ever!

It may be the wettest, but it's not the worst, I said.

So it goes, Littlest. Our plans rarely unfold the way we might've scripted, and it's probably not the worst day ever. We bounce back.

As it turns out, I'm writing this to you in one of the wildest times to be alive. We find ourselves navigating the unknowns of a global pandemic and being stripped of all sense of earthly security.

One day we will tell you about how we were afraid for so many things, and also about how our faith in the One True God was the only hope we had. And God willing, we will tell you that while we were reeling, we battled to live out this faith that has not yet been made sight.

But for now, if you remember any of this, I hope it is only that your fifth birthday party didn't happen as planned.

You'll still be celebrated, but you'll hang close around the house, close to the ones who love you and yes, the ones who are proud of you. Maybe you'll run outside with your brother, or ride bikes with your dad. We'll all FaceTime you, and maybe you'll give us more than two minutes of your attention. (It's hard, I know.)

It's a joy to celebrate you and your enthusiasm, and to do our best to model faith for you.

We love you, Littlest. Happy fifth.

to carter, on the occasion of your eighth

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Tue, 20 Aug 2019 11:17:00 +0000

"Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
-- Mark Twain

Dear Carter Christopher,

When I see pictures of you these days, I have to catch my breath at how grown-up you appear. You're seemingly a foot taller than anyone else in your class, and those glasses. They still get me every time.

You are losing teeth all the time, and it was one of the Lord's great mercies that none fell out when I was on babysitting duty earlier this summer. I might've quit.

This year's obsession was sports teams of all kinds. Who knows how many notepads you went through, filling pages and pages with team logos, ranking charts, statistics and records.

Speaking of sports, you had a couple of big firsts this year. You attended your first Georgia football game in full gear.

And then you completed your very first March Madness bracket and got to see some live action. Never mind your ludicrous picks, because this is a matter of family legacy and you have to start somewhere.

When your mom and dad think back on this year, here are some things they'll want to remember:

I'd describe Carter's personality with these few words:
mom: Friendly, bright, inquisitive.
dad: Brave, aims to please, curious.

Carter is happiest when he is ...
mom: Outside playing with his dad.
dad: Outside.

Carter is most grown-up when he ...
mom: Talks. There are things that come out of his mouth that make him sound so much older than he is. He asks good questions, always reminding us that his mind is hardly ever idle.
dad: Reads to himself in his bed first thing in the mornings.

My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...
mom: Sending him to school knowing he loved it. He would wake up excited and say, "I wonder what we're going to learn today!" I hope that excitement to learn never leaves him.
dad: Watching how excited and motivated he was to learn during first grade. He showed so much confidence and pride in what he had done.

Carter's best qualities are ...
mom: He is our gentle giant. He is so sweet to babies and younger children. They seem as drawn to him as he is to them. He loves his family well and shows affection readily. He loves to be snuggled and still holds my hand when we walk to school. He loves to laugh! He also has an affinity for awful knock-knock jokes in the hopes of making others laugh too! He is bright! We realized this summer he knew nearly all the state capitals. No one taught him. He just had a map in his room and must have taught himself. And he never forgets anything. Both elementary school teachers have commented on this.
dad: His creativity, his gentleness, his laugh, his honesty.

My heart broke a little bit this past year when ...
mom: His closest friend moved to Germany. Our families are very close, and it has been a tough adjustment. This week he asked his dad to drive by her old house because he missed her.
dad: We realized how much of his hair he was losing. And when he had to say goodbye to his friend, Bella.

The hardest question Carter asked me/us this year was ...
mom: "Why do I have such a hard time falling/staying asleep?" Part of having a mind that is rarely idle seems to be sleep issues. Things that worry him or make him scared seem to take up a lot of brain space at night. It frustrates him a lot, and he is never satisfied with the answers we give as to why it might be happening.
dad: "Is Satan still alive? Can he hurt me?"

After his eighth birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Watching him grow into who he is meant to be. Seeing what piques his interest next. Watching him handle challenges.
dad: Carter developing new friendships.

Two years ago, I wrote you on the eve of your first day of kindergarten. Gosh, I was afraid for you. Afraid that you wouldn't make friends. Afraid that you'd hate your teacher, or worse, hate learning. Afraid for the unkindness you might experience.

Of course it was all fine in the end.

But today was your first day of second grade, and I get to tell you a very different story about what I wasn't afraid of.

I wasn't afraid that you wouldn't make friends. Even though your closest buddy moved to another country, what we know now that we didn't know then is that you can make good friends.

No one feared that you wouldn't enjoy learning, because mercy, you never stop. You've proven to be a spelling wizard, you look forward to school, and you're forever seeking answers to all sorts of questions.

If I'm being honest, I'm still afraid of the unkindness you'll experience one day.

But I'm not afraid that you don't know what kindness is, because it's coming to bear in you.

When Lukey was getting tubes in his ears, you wanted to hold his hand. You asked to buy him a gift with your birthday money. And when you were meeting your friend Ruby for the Georgia game, you wanted to "do something nice for her," so you drew her a picture.

When you were a baby, I asked your mom one day what she most wanted for her kids.

To be kind, she said. More than happiness, or brains, or skills, or talents, or friends, she hopes for kindness.

I think she's seeing some promise.

Kindness looks good on you, Little Man. Happy Eighth.

to luke, on the occasion of your fourth

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Thu, 28 Mar 2019 14:17:00 +0000

"From caring comes courage."
-- Lao Tzu

Dear Luke Taylor,

I am on record as favoring ages two to five, so these days, you're in my sweet spot.

I'm enamored watching you learn language and expression. I'm on fire, you told me, when you were "winning" a "game" of Go Fish with your brother. I have not stopped laughing.

It's possible you're developing a little swagger.

You're for sure a walking verbal processor. At any given time, you offer a running commentary of everything you see, everything you think, and everything that is happening in your midst.

Let it be known that you will not be one to leave anything unsaid.

You're particular about lots of topics, your clothes being at the top of the list. No collared shirts, no button-ups, and if the shirt you do wear has the slightest hole, off it comes. (This is true for pants, too, but we're maintaining dignity here.)

Your sleeping positions suggest that having such strong opinions takes a toll.

You're a challenger, to be sure. Specifically, you push your big brother's buttons like no one else. Car trips with the two of you within arm's length of one another are, frankly, brutal.

But you comfort him like no one else, too. It's okay, Little Buddy, you tell him, when he feels afraid, anxious, or when he's hurt.

Here's what your mom and dad have to say about this past year:

I'd describe Luke's personality with these few words:
mom: Loving, stubborn, joyful, particular, shy.
dad: He likes to dress up as a construction worker with a cape and a pirate hat on ... and thinks it's cool.

Luke is happiest when he ...
mom: Is exploring/playing with his brother, or when you tell him Dad is home from work!
dad: Is with his brother.

Luke is not-so-charming when he ...
mom: Doesn't get his way. There is a lot of whining and stomping of feet.
dad: Throws around a bunch of attitude about what he will and will not wear in the morning. It's not pretty.

My proudest moment as Luke's parent this past year was ...
mom: When Carter got hurt and was in a ton of pain, Luke stayed by his side rubbing his head. He has a caring heart.
dad: When Carter hit his mouth on the chest upstairs and was crying and bleeding. He was laying against me while I was stopping the bleeding and checking to see how bad his mouth was. Luke came right over and sat next to Carter and rubbed his head and his chest until he calmed down. I should also add how proud I was for how he handled getting tubes in his ears. He took on everything with such courage.

One time this past year when I thought I was going to lose my mind was ...
mom: When we discovered Luke emptying paint onto our neighbors' wall-to-wall carpet. They miraculously still talk to us. I don't know why.
dad: When I came back into the bathroom with Luke's towel to get him out of the shower and he was holding "what just came out of my bottom" and rinsing it off in the water. Let that marinate.

Luke's best qualities are ...
mom: He loves people well with his actions and words. He often tells us he loves us, unprompted. We could be driving down the road and out of nowhere, "Hey Mom ... I love you!"

He can also show a grateful heart, which is pretty rare for someone so young. He will thank us for things (new shoes, new toy, new experience) that he is really excited about. His excitement for life is pretty fun to watch too! He loves to laugh and run and play!
dad: His "wide openness;" his desire to be loved; his playfulness; and his smile.

I was surprised this past year when Luke ...
mom: Became really invested in learning his letters and their sounds. Also when he writes his name by himself.
dad: Started singing and dancing to songs in the car and at home.

I laugh out loud when Luke ...
mom: Calls Carter his Little Buddy!
dad: Yells "Leeeeeeeet's Blaze!" when he wants to start running faster.

After his fourth birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Watching his unique personality develop further.
dad: Seeing him learn to ride a bike.

So it is: You're proving to be one who doesn't hold back. When you run, it's full speed; when you make a decision, it's unyielding; when you speak, it's urgent; when you misbehave, it's mischievous; and when you play, you're in it to win it.

Early indicators suggest you might grow up to be bold and edgy and stubborn, and people say those are the courageous ones, the ones who change the world.

But I see your growing tenderness and kindness and gratitude and compassion, and I think those are are the real seeds of courage.

It's funny, when your brother was this same age, he had a quirky wink that was actually symptomatic of struggling eyesight. In your case this year, you were asking for speaker volumes to be set at levels so loud it drove us all batty. It turns out, you had so much fluid on your ears, hearing was hard.

You showed me your "bad ear" and said you were going to get it fixed, and indeed, you were brave heading to the doctor's office, and I suspect you'll be brave a million more times in this life.

But being brave won't always mean doing something you dread, or instant gratification, or healing, or accolades, and it'll never mean the absence of fear.

Sometimes it'll mean doing the unpopular thing, or being kind to an outcast, or comforting someone who's hurting.

And early indicators also suggest you might just have the kind of courage that grows from those seeds of caring.

I hope you never stop caring, Littlest.

Happy fourth, Lukey. You are a gift to us.

2018

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Tue, 01 Jan 2019 03:17:00 +0000

These annual recaps are so fun for me, but they're a challenge when there are 365 days and millions of moments to remember, very few of which have been recorded in any organized way.

My social media activity is intentionally minimal, and my iPhone camera roll is only moderately helpful, so this year I committed to being better at capturing all the things.

So on a note in my phone starting January 1, I kept a raw, running list of ideas, books, scriptures, griefs, and victories.

I still didn't get them all, and they don't all have a place here anyway, but here are some noteworthy memories from 2018:

biggest thrill
Georgia's Rose Bowl comeback and win against Oklahoma in 2 overtimes, with Mom

felt like a kid
At the preceding Rose Parade

most notable celebration
Labor Day weekend with the whole family for Dad's 70th birthday

(sometimes related) mantras i couldn't stop saying
"Words matter."
"Be better."

best book
Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson

most challenging book
The Gospel Comes with a House Key by Rosaria Butterfield

most helpful disciplines
Leaving my phone outside of my bedroom
Transcribing the Psalms
Turning off iPhone badge notifications for my work email account

theological obsession
The theology of work

biggest heartbreak
Georgia's loss to Alabama in the National Championship game

best view
From the Sydney Harbour Bridge, in Sydney, Australia

better than i imagined
Bluetooth service in a new car

biggest surprise
Being selected as one of Birmingham's Top 40 Under 40

favorite concert
Ben Rector's Magic Tour stop at the Alabama Theater

most indulgent meal
OvenBird in Birmingham, for Bethany's birthday

spent my birthday
At work, at lunch with Mom and Bethany, and then at dinner with Ashley, Sue, and Val

but for-real celebrated my 40th
In Australia with Bethany and Christie in May, and hence ...

marked off the bucket list
Australia (Continent #4)

wasn't on the bucket list but did it anyway
Drove on the left side of the road (where that's the law)

tried for the first time
Surfing in Surfer's Paradise, Queensland, Australia

could not stop laughing
At this photo shoot happening on that beach in Surfer's Paradise

WHAT IS HAPPENING UP THERE.

weird, but significant
Crying on two occasions in restaurants, overcome with emotions about a friend's ill mom, and about turning 40

u.s. cities visited for the first time
Pasadena, California
Austin, Texas
Waco, Texas
College Park, Maryland

best and worst money spent
On a new A/C unit for my house

favorite purchases
A tea kettle from Home Goods
A custom designed tea box to store all my hot tea
The recovering of my very old Bible that needed some TLC

podcast i binged the fastest
Dr. Death

movies i loved

A Quiet Place

Mary Poppins Returns

netflix obsession

Call the Midwife

favorite album
The Greatest Showman (can't stop, won't stop)

songs i repeated a million times
"There is a Fountain Filled with Blood" by Red Mountain Church
"O Come to the Altar" by Elevation Worship

I don't know what 2019 will hold, but I'm confident there will be another running list of thrills and goodness and struggles and experiences that will make it special.

Until then, cheers, friends, to flipping that calendar right into 2019. Happy New Year!

to carter, on the occasion of your seventh

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Mon, 20 Aug 2018 11:03:00 +0000

"The more I wonder, the more I love."
-- Alice Walker, The Color Purple

Dear Carter Christopher,

If there is a number that seems like a threshold unlike others before now, seven might be it. Traces of baby continue to be cast off, and glimpses of boyhood are peeking through.

Your hair is still light and laced with a touch of strawberry, and those hip glasses of yours still frame the open windows to your soul, but chubby cheeks and baby belly are nowhere to be found.

Your heart is still tender and sensitive, and the introvert in me loves it so much that you request time by yourself, to be away from Lukey's wild ~~puppy~~ little-brother love, or to sit in the quiet after a noisy, overstimulated day at school.

That one's still got a ~~death grip~~ bro-crush on you. I'm not sure he'll ever get over it.

Meanwhile, your mind is in overdrive most of the time, learning, imagining, questioning, considering. Not long ago, you mentioned that you would forgo marriage one day, so you and Lukey could "be like the Wright Brothers and invent things instead."

#lifegoals, I say.

You're emerging as this wonderful mix of sensitive and cerebral, of thoughtful and thinking, of creative and curious. I hope you always manage to be both/and.

Some days, your mom and dad wonder if they'll survive this lifelong parenting gig, but I want you to know they are so good at it, and so fully present with you, even when they feel like there isn't an ounce of energy left.

Here are a few thoughts they have about this past year:

I'd describe Carter's personality with these few words:
mom: Soooo curious, friendly, creative, sweet.
dad: Inquisitive, imaginative, tender-hearted.

Carter is happiest when he ...
mom: Is wrestling with his dad and brother, exploring in nature, or creating a new invention.
dad: Is snuggling with his momma.

Carter is not-so-charming when he ...
mom: Fights with his brother!
dad: Hits, kicks, and teases his brother.

My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...
mom: Watching how proud he was of himself when he passed his swim level. This was huge because just 3 years ago, he fell in water over his head and subsequently was terribly fearful of swimming for a long time after. Through private swim lessons, aquatic PT, and lots more group lessons he has overcome all his fear and loves the pool. He now is excited to learn butterfly!
dad: Finding Carter helping Luke get his shoes on completely on his own. Seeing little glimpses of compassion and helpfulness is insanely encouraging.

(Those goggles are my favorite.)

Carter's best qualities are ...
mom: His mind and his heart. He is very curious and eager to learn all the things. He holds onto information in a way that is beyond amazing. He is loving to me in such a sweet way. He still will hold my hand, ask to snuggle, and lately he has been asking for mommy/Carter talk time. He has a gentle and sensitive heart.
dad: His laugh, his dance moves, and his desire to be loved.

My heart broke a little bit this past year when ...
mom: He came home from school and told me they had a drill where they hid in the closet from bad guys. I don't know how to talk to him about the world we live in without scaring him terribly. Being a parent these days is not for the faint of heart.
dad: He struggled to get in the door to school in the mornings.

The hardest question Carter asked me/us this year was ...
mom: Are you going to die someday? Am I going to die? This year had some really sad moments of loss. He did not take them lightly. It was painful to watch him process the hard/scary parts of life and death.
dad: Is Satan around us all the time? Does everyone die? What if Jesus doesn't have time for me? Take your pick.

After his seventh birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: All the new things he will teach me. Inevitably, he asks me questions each day I don't know the answer to and have to look up. His mind is always working. I'm just trying to keep up.
dad: Seeing him make a solid friend or two that he can bond with.

This year has passed like a freight train, fast and sometimes thundering, because when a tender heart like yours begins to contemplate this broken world, there's a collision of sorts. You're wondering why in the world things here just don't make sense sometimes.

Recently I heard a chaplain of a children's hospital teach about ministering to the patients under his spiritual care. His number one piece of advice was to wonder aloud with them.

Rather than ask questions that could be awkward, or offer trite platitudes, he said to genuinely consider, I wonder how you must be feeling ... Or with the parents, I wonder how you're processing ...

This counsel resonated with me, because when we wonder, we don't have answers; all we have are the humility to consider someone or something outside ourselves, and the hopeful possibility to connect.

For your seventh birthday, I'm asking the Lord to take this mind of yours that wonders about inventions, and creation, and hard truths, and lead it to also wonder more about Jesus, and who he is, and why he loves you to pieces.

And I hope that when you wonder, you'll come to believe what's really true:

There is death, but it has lost its sting to a King who has conquered it.
There is an enemy, but he's been defeated by a victorious Warrior.
Our hearts can hurt, but we have hope in eternal healing.
In our times of fear and loneliness, there is a Father who's right there, and will not leave. Ever.

This is the kind of wonder that'll change your world. I want that for you.

Happy Seventh, Little Man. We love watching you wonder.

to luke, on the occasion of your third

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Wed, 28 Mar 2018 12:07:00 +0000

"A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark."
-- Chinese Proverb

Dear Luke Taylor,

1,095. That's the number of days we've known and loved you, and it means that today, you turn three.

Your world exploded this year in many ways, and it's a thrill to watch you navigate it. You moved to a new house in a new city, and started school, and you have embraced all things new.

A year ago, you were marching into Sunday School like a boss. Turns out, it was prophetic of how bravely you'd dive into preschool. Your mom said for months leading up to that day, He's ready. And she was so right. You love "your school," you love trying new things, and you love meeting new people.

It was like that backpack and lunch box gave you mad superpowers.

You wear yourself out some days.

It's hard being three.

But it's also hard being stubborn. You have a tiny bit of a hard head. One morning, you demanded a ~~fifth snack before lunch~~ cheese stick and when you were denied, you kicked the garbage can in contempt. It sure wasn't graceful, but it was darn funny. You were clear, if nothing else.

It may drive your parents crazy some days, but I'm trusting that one day this will of yours is harnessed and used for good.

Your hard head is rivaled only by your mischievous smile.

I cannot imagine all that you're thinking.

You still love your brother like mad, and you desperately want to pretend like his introvert boundaries just don't exist. You love him so.

Speaking of loving, your mom and dad are tickled at watching you grow up, and here are a few things they will remember about this year:

I'd describe Luke's personality with these few words:
mom: Shy (when not with Carter), loving, sassy, opinionated (the boy knows what he likes and what he doesn't!), lover of books!
dad: Wide open, playful, fearless.

Luke is happiest when he ...
mom: Is with Carter, or when he sees his dad is home from work.
dad: Is with his brother.

Luke is not-so-charming when he ...
mom: Spits his drinks all over the floor on purpose.
dad: Tells you he's not talking to you, but talking to Carter instead.

My proudest moment as Luke's mom/dad this year was ...
mom: How brave he was starting school. He is not afraid to try new things. I admire that.
dad: Watching a confident and proud Luke walk into his first day of preschool with book bag on his back, and lunch box in his hand. Big smile.

Luke's best quality is ...
mom: How much he loves his family. He often tells me he misses his dad and Carter during the day, and he greets them both with a huge hug when they are reunited.
dad: His playfulness.

I laugh out loud when Luke ...
mom: Says, "Carter I not talking to you - I talking to Daddy!" at the dinner table with such sass and attitude. He wants to make sure we hear him!
dad: Decides to put on his bike helmet, foregoes the bike, and just runs around instead.

After his third birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Watching him continue to make friends at school and develop his own interests.
dad: Poops on the potty where poop actually goes in the potty.

When I think about you on your third birthday, and about how this childhood of yours is like a piece of paper, I can't help but wonder about all the people leaving their marks.

For now, you're tucked safely inside a family who snuggles with you, wrestles with you, plays with you, FaceTimes with you, disciplines you, teaches you, and models for you the very best they know how. Mercifully, you've been guarded well, harbored from danger and hard things and suffering.

It won't always be this way -- it's just how this world of ours is -- and in the natural order of life, as your own borders stretch and expand, new friends and teachers and coaches and neighbors will begin to leave all sorts of impressions.

It's been said that a person is the average of the five people with whom you spend the most time. Whether or not that's true, I want you to know that I'm asking the Father to surround you with people your whole life who are kind, compassionate, funny, generous, and uplifting.

Trust me, it would be one of the very best gifts you'll ever know.

1,095. That's the number of days we've known and loved you, and it means that today you turn three.

Happy Third, Littlest. We love watching your canvas become a masterpiece.

2017

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Mon, 01 Jan 2018 05:39:00 +0000

I'm on the west coast ringing in 2018.

It's strange that family and friends eastward have ushered in the new year already, but I quite like the extra hours in 2017 to remember these twelve months.

Some years seem like big years. Extra-memorable. Noteworthy.

2017 didn't seem like that when it was happening. But then I reflected on some of my favorite moments, and then it was big, memorable, and noteworthy in its own way.

I don't ever want to forget these memories:

most festive getaway

July 4th to Gulf Shores with Bethany and Christie

tried for the first time
Paddle boarding in Gulf Shores

non-fiction books i loved
Liturgy of the Ordinary: Sacred Practices in Everyday Life by Tish Harrison Warren
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick M. Lencioni
The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism by Timothy Keller

most challenging book
Every Good Endeavor: Connecting Your Work to God's Work by Timothy Keller

most helpful book
The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Ian Morgan Cron

(and subsequently) couldn't stop talking about
The enneagram

favorite beach-read
Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah

marked off the bucket list
Traveling with Mom on her first trip overseas

not on the bucket list but did it anyway
Deep-sea fished for snapper on that fun short getaway to Gulf Shores

proudest achievement
Successfully assembled this racetrack for Little Man with Katie in Santa's Workshop on Christmas Eve

most fearful moment
Accepting a new position at work

most painful moment
Every single time I work out at Orange Theory

best view
From the top of Lincoln Cathedral in Lincoln, England

unexpected celebrity sighting
The Queen riding past Mom, Linda, and me in her Bentley as we walked along the sidewalk of Buckingham Palace

moment that was better than i imagined
Walking the grounds of Wimbledon with Mom

performing arts high

Cirque du Soleil: Luzia in Atlanta with Bethany and Christie

felt like a kid
Watching Cirque like this for the entire performance:

favorite (and most overdue) trip to visit a friend

Kerrville, Texas, with Nikol, to visit Bost

most peaceful surroundings
Bost's family ranch in Kerrville ...

... and their family farmhouse that took my breath away

most indulgent meal

Hot and Hot Fish Club in Birmingham, for Bethany's birthday

spent my birthday

With Bethany at Gianmarco's in Birmingham

u.s. cities visited for the first time (albeit brief)

Norman, Oklahoma

San Antonio/Kerrville, Texas

biggest surprise

Crossing paths with Christopher in Terminal B of the Atlanta airport, both of us on layovers at the exact same time

best money spent
$110 to renew my passport

podcast that kept me company on my travels
Up and Vanished

podcast i binged the fastest
S-Town

songs i repeated a million times
"Amen" by Natalie Taylor
"Burden" by Foy Vance

favorite albums
Tell All My Friends by Will Reagan & United Pursuit
Wounded Heart by Jeremy Adamiak

netflix obsession
The Keepers

most magical day
December 8th, when it snowed 7 inches in Birmingham

sweetest taste
THE SNOW ICE CREAM FROM THIS SNOW (it was all-caps worthy)

No matter what time zone you find yourself in, here's hoping 2018 is a year of moments worth remembering, even if it might not feel like it while it's happening. Happy New Year!

to carter, on the occasion of your sixth

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Sun, 20 Aug 2017 11:51:00 +0000

"Bad times have a scientific value. These are occasions a good learner would not miss."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dear Carter Christopher,

Today, you need both hands of fingers to show me how old you are. It's not a rite of passage, but it sure does remind me how fast the years pass.

It is thrilling to watch you try new things: Fishing (you didn't wanna touch it).

Riding a jet ski (you warmed up to it).

A community kids' 100-yard dash (you didn't like people watching you).

Hiking (all things are possible with Goldfish).

In your class this year, we watched you become quite the lover of learning. Your capacity to absorb and retain facts, figures, and other obscure information surprises me in nearly every conversation. Dinosaurs, construction equipment, the solar system. All of it fascinates you. I hope you never feel ashamed about being smart. Your mind is a gift.

And another thing about that mind of yours: you talk a lot about the things you think about. It's possible your parents were punked when doctors raised concern about speech delays when you were two. Because these days, you can't stop commentating, asking questions, and telling pretty terrible knock-knock jokes. (I laugh at them anyway.)

You wrapped up preschool earlier this summer. I will never know why 4- and 5-year-olds are treated like PhD recipients, with the fanfare and caps and gowns, and I'm shocked they didn't hood you. But gracious, this photo melts me.

Your exuberance is stunning, and I savor it, because if I'm honest, when kids grow up, these moments are fewer and further between. I want to remember this innocence.

Your mom and dad have things they want to remember about this year, too:

I'd describe Carter's personality with these few words:
mom: Curious, smart, loving.
dad: Ultimate snuggler, inquisitive.

Carter is happiest when he ...
mom: Is riding his bike, swimming, or wrestling with his Dad. He also loves trips to science museums and aquariums.
dad: Is riding his bike or swimming in the pool.

Carter is not-so-charming when he ...
mom: Talks back or yells at me.
dad: Talks back and kicks or hits his brother.

My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...
mom: Conquering swimming-related fear and seeing him become a kid who loves the pool again.
dad: Seeing Carter's resiliency. It was a tough year for us and for him. But he hung in and has really done a great job transitioning to another new place. He is excited about his new house, his new school, and is magically sleeping through the night (mostly).

One time this past year when I thought I was going to lose my mind was ...
mom: When I realized that he NEVER stops talking in the car and wants an answer to everything. ALL. THE. WORDS. ALL. THE. TIME. It is exhausting!
dad: The long trip back from Maine to Delaware. They did as well as could be expected, but there was a lot of talking, melting down, and unkind words from the backseat the last 2-3 hours of that trip.

Carter's best qualities are ...
mom: We are continually blown away by his mind. His memory is really incredible. He loves to know facts about all kinds of things, and because of that, we have all learned a lot over the past year about dinosaurs, sea creatures, bizarre animals, and outer space. We also are in awe of how kind and tender he is with small children. He loves to make them laugh and smile. And we love that he still LOVES to snuggle and be read to each night.
dad: His questioning mind, his smile, his gentleness.

My heart broke a little bit this past year when ...
mom: He began to realize how big the world was and that he is just a small part of it. He developed more fears of things. He began to suffer from separation anxiety. It was hard to see my previously brave boy struggle in a way he never had before.
dad: A few times (as I mentioned before, tough year). It was maybe midway through fellowship, and he finally broke down when I had to leave the house to go to work. He would not let me go, voicing that he didn't want me to leave, and crying uncontrollably. It was a breaking point, and he made it known. Next, we were discussing our move to Fort Mill, and he was upset and crying, then asked how long it would be before we would have to move again. Third, asking when he could see his friend, Mack, again after we moved. That hurt. We also got a tough diagnosis this year that was a gut punch. That hurt too.

I laugh out loud when Carter ...
mom: Laughs! He has a great laugh.
dad: Laughs really hard, attempts to tell jokes, and when Luke makes him laugh.

After his sixth birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Seeing how he likes school and what new interests he develops.
dad: Seeing him start kindergarten and find kids that will be his friends for years.

Yes, Little Man, this year was trying at times.

But you need to know that Jesus never promised an easy road, so I imagine that every year from six until ninety-six will have its share of not-so-great.

It's why in my very first letter to you, even before you were born, I confessed to being afraid of the world you were coming into. It can be a scary place, and people can be unkind.

Tomorrow, in fact, you start kindergarten in a new city, and at a school new to you. It might be scary, and you will probably meet an unkind classmate (or two or ten).

Hard days are coming, whether in kindergarten or otherwise, and when they do, I hope you'll remember this year, and that despite the challenges and fears and anxieties, you've managed to laugh, snuggle, and show resiliency.

I hope you stay close to your family who loves you the most. I hope you find humor where you can, and laugh as often as you can. I hope you choose friends who will walk the hard roads with you. I hope you always go back to Truth to ground you, and not to changing circumstances.

And I hope you keep learning, because then you will know the value of bad times, and that even hidden in all the hard, there is goodness to be found.

Little Man, watching you grow up is one of our greatest joys. Happy Sixth.

to luke, on the occasion of your second

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Tue, 28 Mar 2017 12:25:00 +0000

"It's the merry-hearted boys that make the best men!"
-- Irish proverb

Dear Luke Taylor,

Two years! I know these two are only a glimpse into the man you'll spend a lifetime becoming, and I imagine you'll surprise us more often than not. But on this birthday of yours, I can't help but wonder if we will look back one day, a long time from now, and see traces of you in these pictures, and stories, and memories of our Littlest.

Will you care about your hair?

Hard to say.

Will you impress a date with sophisticated table manners?

I don't know if the odds are in your favor, and I'd hoped for more progress by now, but I still dream big for you.

But for all the things we can't know about you as a grown-up, there is plenty to know and love about you today.

You climb everywhere. Onto tables, up playground ladders, into cabinets, out of your crib. Nowhere is off limits, including the oven. That day your mom found you sitting on the oven door was, well, a reminder to keep a very close eye on you and your curiosity. (No scars from that venture. The oven was off.)

One day after watching your scaling shenanigans, Carter named you Mr. Monkey, and I think he was onto something.

And gosh, your brother. You love him to pieces. You look for every chance to play with him, to follow him, to mimic him. Every day you wish you were walking with him into school, but settle instead for crashing the occasional big event, like inserting yourself into his class's Halloween parade. (I love that video so much.)

You fight like brothers do, but you are happiest when you're ~~on top of~~ with him.

He is your person. I hope that's the case for a very long time.

You still hold hands with your mom and dad, and they know to soak up these moments, because every time you march yourself boldly into your Sunday school classroom, they feel the dull ache of these early signs of self-reliance.

They adore you, the one that made them a happy family of four.

When they reflect on their second-born on his second birthday, here's what they will remember:

I'd describe Luke's personality with these few words:
mom: 90% sweet, 10% sassy.
dad: Happy, animated, and laid-back.

Luke is happiest when he ...
mom: Is with Carter.
dad: Is wherever his big brother is.

Luke is not-so-charming when he ...
mom: Throws his food on the floor during meals.
dad: Bites Carter.

My proudest moment as Luke's mom/dad this year was ...
mom: Watching his love for his brother grow and develop. Carter is Luke's favorite person.
dad: When he said "Carter" for the first time.

My un-proudest moment as Luke's mom/dad this year was ...
mom: When he bit Carter out of anger.
dad: When the neighbor brought Luke back to the driveway after she found him in front of their house the next street over. It's never good when the neighbor says, "I know you can only watch them for so long until they go missing." Fail.

Luke's best quality is ...
mom: His love of people.
dad: His smile.

I laugh out loud when Luke ...
mom: Gives one of his huge smiles.
dad: Says "Cheese!" for a photo; when he falls asleep sitting up like an old man; and most recently, when he attempts to say his own name.

After his second birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: More language developing and being able to talk to him even more.
dad: New words, and more firsts!

Yes, yes, our hearts explode when you smile and giggle and dance and snuggle your people.

But don't get a big head, Lukey, because that's never the full story, and you can count on me to shoot straight with you when it comes to the full story about human nature. You can be demanding and stubborn and unlovely and naughty. You push the boundaries and cross into the forbidden some days. When you don't get your way, we hear it loud and clear.

Those things don't scare me though, because those, child, are merely symptoms of our total depravity, and I don't know a single grown-up who is immune.

So when I think about that day a long time from now, when we reminisce about your two-year old self, maybe you'll still rock your epic bedhead, and mercy, I pray you're more refined at the dinner table. Maybe you'll be climbing real mountains by then, and it would be dreamy if you loved your big brother as much as you do today.

But more than any of that, I hope you'll still walk yourself into church on Sundays, never far from the arm-lock of Jesus, and always grateful for His grace to keep you close. That would be celebration-worthy, indeed.

In the meantime, we'll swoon at your smile and delight in this merry heart of yours. You're going to make one of the very best men.

We love you now, and we'll love you then, Littlest. Happy Second.

2016

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Sat, 31 Dec 2016 18:02:00 +0000

There's been a lot of grumbling of late, that 2016 has wreaked havoc and cruelty like no other year before it.

Celebrity deaths like Chief Justice Scalia, Harper Lee, George Michael, Nancy Reagan, Doris Roberts, Prince, Morley Safer, Muhammed Ali, Arnold Palmer, John Glenn, Carrie Fisher, Debbie Reynolds. Even this abbreviated list seems staggering.

The circus that was the campaign, the debates, the Wikileaks, and the election. Mercy.

Even in my own corner of the universe, dear friends have suffered loss, struggling marriages, hard life transitions, unemployment, depression, financial despair, and a myriad of other symptoms of a very broken world.

This 2016 recap was even daunting. I thought I wouldn't find much evidence of goodness or light.

But it's all the more reason why this annual exercise is so important. It's a reminder to me that amid the heaviness, disappointments, and burdens, there is laughter, rejoicing, and community to be found.

Here are a few things I will cherish from 2016:

book i couldn't put down
Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance

favorite fiction book
The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom

proudest achievement
Running a half marathon in the same amount of time I did seven years ago

the time i burst uncontrollably into tears
Upon learning of the death of a close friend's mom

big kid moment
Meeting a real life LEGO Master Builder and holding this masterpiece

most fearful moment
Attempting to reach Devil's Bridge on a hike in Sedona, Arizona, but mostly landing on our tails instead

best view
We didn't make it to Devil's Bridge, but this view was just fine

performing arts highs

Chicago with Amy and Rylee in Birmingham

The Sound of Music with Mom at the Fox Theater in Atlanta

favorite concert

Harry Connick, Jr. in Birmingham

biggest surprise

The presidential election

favorite long weekend getaway

Reuniting with my Turner gal cousins in Nashville

cheapest and most enjoyable meal

Shared small plates at Butcher and Bee in East Nashville

best story from a minor travel mishap

Discovering a dead car battery in downtown Franklin, and bumming a ride off nice strangers to our rental house

spent my birthday

With mom, Kari, and Miss Reeves in the mountains (and Dad made a brief appearance)

favorite smell
Blackberry and Bay perfume by Jo Malone

best money spent
$85 for TSA Precheck

podcasts that kept me company on my travels
The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey
Front Porch with the Fitzes

songs i repeated a million times
"Humble and Kind" by Tyler Ward and Diamond White
"Mercy" by Matt Redman

favorite albums
God's Highway by Sandra McCracken
Behold by Lauren Daigle

marked off the bucket list
Visited the L.L. Bean store and ate fresh, steamed lobster in Maine

bucket list moment that was better than i imagined
Eating lobster in Portland, Maine

not on the bucket list but did it anyway
Pink Jeep Tour in Sedona

netflix obsession
The Crown

most challenging bible study
Judges by Jen Wilkin

And last, but certainly not least,

the too many celebrations from which to pick a favorite
Nikol and Steve's wedding
Rylee's high school graduation
Haleigh's college graduation
Christopher's residency graduation
Meg and Drew's wedding
Pat's 30th birthday

Happy New Year, friends. May you find much goodness and light in 2017.

to carter, on the occasion of your fifth

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Sat, 20 Aug 2016 12:53:00 +0000

"The worst prison would be a closed heart."
-- Pope John Paul II

Dear Carter Christopher,

This grin of yours is what we get when we ask you to smile for the camera. It's over-the-top, but it is how I will remember your fifth year: a sweet expression of a very big heart, and the deluge of raging emotions it can't contain.

The joy and the sadness, the fear and the trust, the anger and the anticipation.

You squeal with delight over snapping photos with my (expensive) camera, running wild outside, or getting to spend time with your friends and favorite people. At Halloween this year, when you borrowed this battery-powered toy chain saw to complete your costume, and raised it over your head for effect, I couldn't stop laughing.

You will do well to find untamed joy in little things like this forever.

You are quick to push Lukey out of your room to protect your territory, but when he climbs mischievously onto the coffee table, you call to your mom because you are naturally protective of him.

He makes you crazy a lot, but you're a good big brother. Really.

And for as long as you are, you're allowed to feel both anger and love toward him, but I'm believing love will win in the long run.

In the past two months, you've lived the heartache of good-byes, having left your school, your friends, and your home, and moved to a new city. Your mom and dad prepared you well for a new adventure, but didn't (nor couldn't) shelter you from the sadness. In one moment you'd be excited and expectant; in the next, you'd fight back tears for the people and places you knew you'd miss.

You'll be surprised one day at how easily anticipation and sadness coexist.

At the beach this summer, a wave snatched a shovel from your grip. You were afraid of the ocean the next time, and of its power. You cried at the thought of returning, but your dad assured you over and over that you'd be okay, and gently persuaded you to give it another chance. You did, and I love that you did so because you trusted your dad. It is so gratifying to watch you grow in trust of the people who love you the most.

I hope to God that when you feel fearful, you'll always know who you can trust implicitly for your safety and well-being.

I love watching it all unfold: this awakening in you of unfamiliar feelings, and your trepidation in navigating them.

Your mom and dad see it all too, and they are so proud of how you are growing up:

I'd describe Carter's personality with these few words:
mom: Friendly, strong-willed, curious.
dad: Pure, joyful, curious.

Carter is happiest when he ...
mom: Is spending time with his Dad.
dad: Is doing anything outside.

Carter is not-so-charming when he ...
mom: Back-talks.
dad: Is asked to allow Luke into his room, or share a toy with Luke. This produces multiple Carter heads that screech at various decibels of sound that both humans and dogs can hear.

My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...
mom: There are too many to pick just one! I was proud when he fearlessly started a new school and made all new friends. I was proud of the way he continued to work hard in speech therapy and OT, even though it was hard for him. I was proud that at the end of the year his teachers and therapists described him as a sweet, kind boy who was a good friend to others. I am proud that despite being very afraid, he is trying to learn how to swim and ride a bike independently.
dad: When Carter asked me how he can talk to God, and explaining to him that he can talk to Him whenever he wants. Then later hearing him pray, "God, it's me, Carter."

One time this past year when I thought I was going to lose my mind was ...
mom: This summer. Between the move, the extreme heat, and the lack of friends due to the move, it has been VERY hard to keep both boys busy and happy.
dad: Likely multiple times, usually centered around Carter's ever-increasing attitude and back-talking ability, and hits/kicks to Luke's body.

Carter's best qualities are ...
mom: He loves people like his dad does. He still likes to snuggle with his mom. He has an incredible memory that amazes me daily. He finds joy in the small things in life.
dad: His gentle heart, his smile, his laugh, his animation, his care for babies and small children.

My heart broke a little bit this past year when ...
mom: He repeatedly asked me if we could go back to our old house after we moved.
dad: We had to move Carter away from the only home and friends he's known.

I laugh out loud when Carter ...
mom: Laughs! Some nights when Chris and I put him to bed, we kiss each side of his face repeatedly saying, "That is my Carter ... No, that is my Carter" while he dissolves into giggles while being covered in kisses. It is a laugh of pure joy.
dad: Dances. He has a great stanky leg move.

After his fifth birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: When he finally realizes that Luke is a playmate and not an enemy trying to steal all his toys.
dad: Carter making new friends and learning to swim!

There is one more story from this year that's my favorite of them all.

One day on vacation with all of us, you were whiny and dramatic. You sat out of the pool to be disciplined, and to contemplate your behavior. After a few minutes, you called to your dad, contrite and sad, Dad? Can you come here, please?

He went to you in patience, and you barely squeaked out, I'm sorry for being fussy earlier.

Gracious, I'm not sure I'll ever hear a sweeter thing come from the mouth of a 4-year old, because Little Man, you were livin' the Gospel in that moment.

I watched your anger breed disobedience, and trust me, that will happen for as long as you walk this earth. But then your heart softened, your mouth repented, and you received forgiveness.

This heart of yours, wild with joy and sadness and everything in between, is flourishing, and its fruit is kindness, compassion, and conscience. We are ever hopeful that it remains engaged and pure, draws you continually to pray, God, it's me, Carter, and that it is always a place where the Gospel takes root over and over again.

Happy Fifth, Little Man. We love you, your heart, and all of your feels.

to luke, on the occasion of your first

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Mon, 28 Mar 2016 11:37:00 +0000

"Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero."
-- Marc Brown, children's author

Dear Luke Taylor,

One year ago, you came in the middle of the night. While much of the world slept soundly, our family was wide-eyed, wired, and mad-texting across state lines from North Carolina to Delaware to Georgia to Alabama.

In hindsight, I wonder if maybe your entrance during the night was a foreshadowing that you'd never sleep well. A propensity for deep sleep (or even a 45-minute nap) is one strand of DNA your parents merely wish you had inherited, but alas, that was not what the Lord ordained.

But the Lord giveth, as he taketh away, and while He denied you the sleep trait, He granted you a nearly continuous smile that (mostly) atones for your mom and dad's sleep deprivation. When you flash that grin, we claim it: It's a good thing you're cute.

That smile, though, Lukey, is much more than a cute get-out-of-jail card. I've always said your brother's eyes were the windows to his soul, but your smile is yours. It is warmth and sweetness, and it makes a bad day bearable. I suspect that one day it will reveal a cheerful spirit, one created to encourage others, and bring light to a very scary world.

You are the messiest eater on the planet. I am not a mom, but mercy, I've not seen anything like it. Mealtime for you is a production in every way, and food finds its way into your hair, and your pants. Your Type A Cubby can only hope you grow up to learn more sophisticated table manners.

I'm not exaggerating.

You're a snuggler, which your parents treasure while they can, and you are happy in most any environment. Here are a few other thoughts from your mom and dad as they reflect on their Littlest turning one:

I'd describe Luke's personality with these few words:
mom: Happy, loving, and flirtatious.
dad: Happy and laid-back.

The cutest thing Luke does that melts my heart every time is ...
mom: Smile, or lower his head onto my shoulder for a snuggle.
dad: Smile.

The un-cutest thing Luke does is ...
mom: Not take a nap when he's tired, and make me carry him around like a koala bear.
dad: Whines and starts throwing his head back into his high chair when he's ready to be done.

Since having Luke, my favorite thing about him being a part of our family is ...
mom: Seeing him and Carter laugh together.
dad: Watching the dynamics between him and Carter and how they are figuring out how to be brothers, as well as the development of his relationship with his grandparents.

One time during the past year when I thought I was going to lose my mind was ...
mom: When he wanted to eat all the time. Sleep deprivation makes you crazy!
dad: Staying awake with a fully-alert Luke at 3:45 in the morning.

I laugh every time Luke ...
mom: Tilts his head and grins at me. His laugh is pretty contagious too!
dad: Sits in his high chair with his feet crossed.

After his first birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Seeing him walk and talk.
dad: Seeing him rock Carter's world again when he starts walking.

It is miraculous how the Lord has knit you into our family as if you've always been here. As promised, you have only enhanced our family, not disrupted it.

Your parents' capacity for love and selflessness have supernaturally multiplied, and it is distinct evidence of the Lord's provision and faithfulness to them as they sacrifice every day on their children's behalf.

From my perspective, it's nearly impossible to watch you grow without noting the similarities and differences to your big brother. But lest that be a disappointment to you, Littlest, know this: you have the advantage in the ways of brotherhood. Unlike him, you were born a brother, and you will never know anything different.

We are wild over watching you grow up, and into a man who is a brother to the least of these, as much as he is to his own flesh and blood. We trust the Lord for that.

If there was ever a second-born to bring his family a measure of delight and joy they could not have anticipated, it is you.

Happy First, Littlest. You are better than a superhero, and we love you.

2015 (and a kind-of thankful thursday)

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Fri, 01 Jan 2016 01:41:00 +0000

Guys. How'd December 31 get here so fast?

This blog has suffered this year. A little of it was schedule-related, but mostly it was (un)inspiration-related. Maybe the un-inspiration comes when schedules crowd my thinking. Or maybe I didn't feel inspired, so I filled up my time with other things.

Chicken or the egg, I don't know.

It makes me glad for this annual recap, because it reminds me that my life is full, even when my writing seems empty. And that there is rhythm, ever-infused with faith, family, friends, and food. And the occasional Netflix binge.

That is a glorious rhythm.

Here's evidence:

book i couldn't put down

It Starts with Food by Dallas and Melissa Hartwig

most challenging book
Finding Faith in the Dark by Laurie Short

most indulgent meal
Grilled Large Sea Scallops at Cafe Dupont in Birmingham

most memorable celebration

Two friends becoming engaged to their beaus within 12 hours of each other

terrible-for-you-but-really-tasty food obsession

Chocolate Chip Cookie in a Mug, as seen here

proudest culinary win
This charcuterie board. I was so pleased with myself.

favorite movie

The Gift. A good psychological thriller.

favorite spontaneous trip
A quick two-hour detour to Detroit, Michigan, to see family I don't see often enough

best quick vacation

Asheville, North Carolina, with Emily

most life-giving bible study
Joshua: Every Good Promise Fulfilled by Jen Wilkin

netflix addiction

Bloodline

favorite new recipe
These salmon cakes, a la Whole30

most festive trip

Two Christmas concerts in two days, in Nashville with Nikol

marked off the bucket list
Basketball game in Cameron Indoor Stadium

most peaceful moment
At a remote bed and breakfast and spa about 30 minutes out of town

proudest craft moment

The t-shirt gallery

spent my birthday

Dinner with Dad in Birmingham, then with mom and friends for brunch and at Locked In

biggest surprise
Completing Whole30 with very little weeping and gnashing of teeth

greatest freedom
Not counting calories, fat, or anything else during Whole30

moment that made my heart the fullest
Seeing my mom and her siblings celebrate their brother's 70th birthday

biggest purchase

Probably the new garbage disposal, and associated plumbing labor. Or the garage door repair. Gyah.

favorite new beverage

For festive celebrations, this Cranberry Orange Mocktail

best quick trip
Mobile, Alabama, to run the flattest 10k known to man

sweetest new addition
The Littlest!

songs i repeated a million times
“We Will Feast in the House of Zion” by Sandra McCracken
"You Never Change" by Austin Stone Worship

favorite albums
Psalms by Sandra McCracken
This Glorious Grace by Austin Stone Worship
Creation Waits by Jenny Pruitt

Happy New Year, friends. May you find your very own glorious rhythm in 2016.

the time i did whole30

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Thu, 26 Nov 2015 01:49:00 +0000

Yesterday was Day 30 of my Whole30 experiment.

There is no need to explain what that is, because listen, there are a bazillion websites and blog posts that do that well enough. The program's basic rules from the actual source are here, for those interested.

On those bazillion websites and blog posts, there are stories of motivations and results and lessons as wide-ranging as the personalities of the people who participate. Not so surprising.

Also not surprising, I have my own takeaways, and sometimes I need to get all the abstract in my brain out into the written word, and into order. So here we go.

why i did it

a simple experiment // I read It Starts With Food this past summer in about a day-and-a-half, sitting on the beach. I don't know why I found it all so fascinating, but I did. I wondered if I could do it, doubtful I could ever eliminate dairy from my diet for even a day, because me and cheese. We are tight. But for about the twelve previous months, I'd overhauled my eating habits, and felt like dairy could potentially still be a stronghold. In many ways, this was a simple experiment to see if that was the case.

an exercise in discipline // Years ago I was notorious for extreme new year's resolutions, but lately, not so much. I have trained for half marathons before, and lately, not so much. These kinds of physical disciplines are helpful to me, and while they're hard, I miss them when I'm not practicing them. Thirty days seemed like a reasonable period to exercise this particular discipline.

why i didn't do it

to lose weight // There were no scales involved before, during, or after the thirty days, and I only measured results by how I felt.

the hardest part

game days, parties, and generally being social // When I'm working a football game day, I am a sucker for a chicken tender. It was tough to pass those by for four weeks. There was also a party I attended where the food spread was sheer torture. Party food is my favorite, so munching on the sad, raw vegetables without hummus or dip or anything good felt like a very sick joke. When I met friends for dinner, I ordered a salad with no cheese, bacon or croutons and took my own Whole30-compliant salad dressing. A little embarrassing, but not the end of the world.

what surprised me

it's not that hard // It just really wasn't. I loved eating big meals, three times a day. I loved trying new recipes, and new foods I'd previously been nervous to try. (Ghee just sounds creepy.) Now prior to these thirty days, I wasn't eating fast food and the likes every day, so perhaps my habits weren't so hard to break. But really, to quote the book, It is not hard. Beating cancer is hard. Birthing a baby is hard. Losing a parent is hard. Drinking your coffee black. Is. Not. Hard. That's truth, people. Perspective is everything.

i did not experience unlimited energy // Of all of the testimonials I read, 90% of them told of boundless energy, beginning around Day 15. Waking up before one's alarm kind of energy. I didn't have that. I'm not sure I'll ever experience that, for any reason. I did not feel sluggish, but I certainly still rely on my alarm.

reverse cravings // My cheese cravings, which I thought would be unbearable, were practically non-existent, and still are. My sweet tooth, which previously was mostly non-existent, unexpectedly reared its ugly head. I wanted to face plant into a bucket of chocolate chip cookie dough. I haven't yet, but I might do it soon.

what i learned

there is sugar in everything // When you can eat nothing with added sugar, and you're reading labels like a crazy person, you discover a whole lot of food has a whole lot of sugar. I will probably always read labels moving forward. It's astonishing.

there is freedom in not counting anything // With the exception of some basic guidelines on how much protein to eat per meal, there is no counting anything. I felt liberated from the bondage of counting calories, trying to hit macro-nutrient percentages, and weighing food portions. It was glorious.

my tips for success

read the book // You can learn enough information to successfully complete the program from online sources (and the aforementioned bazillion websites and blog posts), but you may not understand the whys of it all without reading the book. I felt well equipped with knowledge throughout the thirty days, confident in what was allowed, and what wasn't.

choose wisely your 30 days // It is no accident that my thirty days ended two days before Thanksgiving. You will likely not avoid every dinner out with friends, but doing this challenge over a vacation or holiday is asking for a fail. Be smart about your timing, and you'll be better prepared to win.

meal planning is king // Over the previous year, I had made a concerted effort to plan and prepare my meals so I wouldn't rely on fast food in a pinch, or eat out for no reason. So for Whole30, this was not a hard shift for me, but I know it was a big part of helping me stay disciplined. It took the guesswork out of what was in my food.

find favorites before you start // Pinterest and Google will yield so many recipes and meal ideas, your head will want to explode. But, do a brief dress rehearsal ahead of time to identify a couple of dishes that you like. You can rely on those when you need a boost. I had a handful of recipes that I loved to cook, but I also convenience items in my freezer that were good in a pinch.

get a buddy // A friend and I tackled this together. Our conversations for thirty days were Whole30-centric, and while slightly obsessive, necessary. We compared tips, recipes, and general frustrations. And we shared countdown chains.

what i'll do now

feast // The book encourages a period of calculated re-introduction of foods, in order to identify specific ways those foods impact your body. I will not participate in this method, for I will be feasting with my family on outrageous amounts of gluten and sugar. Because Thanksgiving. It's what we do.

balance // Then I will feel terrible, because that's what gluten and sugar do for me, and I will re-calibrate. It will take me some time to strike the balance, but I imagine I will eat with heightened awareness and choose my indulgences carefully. There's wisdom in moderation, but also in fueling my body well.

Have you tried Whole30? What were your takeaways?

thankful thursday #233

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Thu, 19 Nov 2015 13:07:00 +0000

Last weekend in North Carolina I spent some time with the littles.

Little Man isn't so little anymore.

He's talking and thinking and plotting and feeling like a real person. He wears rain boots and pops an umbrella under clear blue skies.

Because why not?

He tickles me so.

And then the Littlest. Gracious, he is a happy one.

Every time, that grin.

When I was getting ready to leave, Little Man told me I shouldn't go, and that I should stay and play some more.

Broke me into a million pieces.

And when you're broken like that, it's good to find something to be thankful for. I'm grateful today that God willing, I'll see them again in just a few short weeks for Christmas.

Lord, let it be so.

Are you looking forward to seeing loved ones for the holidays? Go on, be grateful!

thankful thursday #232 (of the let's chat variety)

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Thu, 22 Oct 2015 21:31:00 +0000

If anyone is struggling to feel gratitude, can we all just come together and be thankful together for autumn?

The crisp morning runs, the cozy sweaters (not quite here in the 'ham, but almost), the changing colors in the tree tops, the cups of hot tea and hot chocolate.

These are good things. Things I love and appreciate.

And as a bonus, since it's been an un-blogging season of late, how about a quick catch-up visit?

...................................

Speaking of those cups of hot beverages, I bought a pair of new mugs for myself last weekend.

I've had the same mugs for years and years, and I still love them, but I wanted a mug with a smidge more capacity. I adore sipping hot tea in the mornings after my run, at my kitchen table with Pandora playing, and most mornings I want it to last longer.

...................................

I've started using a brown eyeliner (Covergirl Perfect Blend, in Mink) as lip liner. Counter-intuitive, right? But man, when you blend it well, it's like magic.

...................................

This weekend in my work travel, I get to see my middle bro, sans family. I'll miss the rest of them, but I'm sure excited our paths are crossing in a random city.

...................................

Guys, I'm committed to Whole30, starting Monday. I read It Starts With Food this summer, and I'm intrigued enough to try it, at least once. It's not much more than an experiment for me, but I'm a wee bit excited for the challenge.

And a lot bit nervous. It's important to note that my 30 will end two days prior to Thanksgiving. Because I'm no fool.

...................................

Happy Thursday, folks. Whatever you're sipping, and with whomever you're chatting this week, go on, be grateful!

thankful thursday #231

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 22:51:00 +0000

Recently I wrangled the littles for a quick snap.

It was a scene, as anyone with babies and active toddlers would know. It went down like this:

And we eventually landed here.

Behold, all eyes on the camera. Smiling, meh. Eye contact, yes.

We take what we can. And we are grateful.

Have you managed one small win this week? Go on, be grateful!

thankful thursday #230

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 21:48:00 +0000

Two weekends ago I worked a very late football game in my old stomping grounds at Mississippi State. When I left the stadium at 1:30 in the morning, I loaded my car and pulled out of the parking space, only to discover (quickly) that my tire was flat.

Not low. Flat.

Three twenty-something men loading up their tailgate nearby came to my rescue and replaced the flat with my spare before I could ask for help. Their dads meandered over -- tailgating is a family affair -- and supervised, chatted with me about the game, and offered an air compressor to check the air pressure before they left.

Now listen. This was a well-lit area, fans were still waiting for traffic to clear, and I had friends and colleagues with me. I was not in danger.

But oh, to be reminded that there are still good people out there, sober after an SEC football game, and willing to help out a single gal.

As I drove off campus, I literally said aloud, God bless Mississippi men. I loved that they knew how to change the tire in the first place, they offered and were genuinely happy to help, and they didn't mind getting dirty.

Those men made their wives proud that early morning outside Davis Wade Stadium.

And they made me thankful.

Have you had a stranger lend a helping hand? Go on, be grateful!

thankful thursday #229

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Thu, 17 Sep 2015 21:49:00 +0000

This week has been riddled with adulthood woes. Dropping some change on a garage door repair, a new tire (because the one I had to buy six months ago took a beer bottle to its chin).

For good measure, a dash of disappointment unrelated to any of those creeped into my heart, too. Because why not.

Saturday I get to see the little darlings.

Our time together will be nestled between work obligations. Brief, and per usual, not long enough.

But I'm grateful to get some perspective, and some purity and innocence, if only for a breath. (And if only they're on their best behavior.)

Do you get to peek at something simple and happy this weekend? Go on, be grateful!

pizza in a bowl

noreply@blogger.com (ROBYN LANE) — Fri, 04 Sep 2015 12:31:00 +0000

Not really. But this recipe tastes like a way healthier Italian sausage pizza to me.

It's adapted from Cooking Light, and I love it because it's quick, hearty, better as leftovers, and only uses one pot -- all ingredients of a winner in my book.

It would probably also be extra-cozy in the fall -- it's stew-ish -- but man, it's so good. Let's pretend it's fall.

Sausage, Cannellini and Tomato Ragout
Serves 4-6

1 lb. bulk Italian turkey sausage
1 Tbsp. olive oil
1 c. chopped onion
1 Tbsp. unsalted tomato paste
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/3 c. dry red wine
3/4 c. unsalted chicken broth
1/4 tsp. kosher salt
1/4 tsp. freshly ground pepper
Dash of crushed red pepper
1 (14.5-oz.) can unsalted diced tomatoes, undrained
1 (15-oz.) can cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
2 tsp. fresh oregano (or 1 tsp. dried)

Heat a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Cook sausage for 2 minutes, stirring to crumble. Remove sausage from pan and drain on paper towels.
Add oil to pan and swirl to coat. Add onion, and saute 3 minutes. Add tomato paste and garlic; cook 1 minute, stirring continuously. Add wine; cook 1 minute, scraping the pan to loosen the browned bits.
Stir in stock, salt, pepper, red pepper, tomatoes and beans. Reduce heat to low and simmer 8-10 minutes, until slightly thickened.
Add sausage and oregano.

Put this on your radar for an easy weeknight meal -- it's really done faster than pizza is delivered anyway.