'Belonging': Student and Teacher Resources for the Area of Study

Evaluation of blog and HSC Area of Study textbook

2013-09-30T18:12:00.001-07:00

Calling on HSC teachers and students to offer suggestions on a textbook on the new Area of Study Discovery

I am currently evaluating this blog and HSC Area of Study - Belonging: a student workbook and would greatly appreciate your feedback on what you like about these resources and what you would like to see more of.

You can add your comments in the section below. Consider the following:

- useful writing strategies for writing analytically and creatively in the HSC English Examination
- study guide type information
- meaningful activities for all 3 sections in the examination
- relevance of modelled responses
- relevance of key scene analysis activities
- relevance of analytical response plans
- any other information you can think of.

I greatly appreciate you taking the time to communicate to me what you need in relation to teaching or studying the HSC Area of Study.

Thank you

Strictly Ballroom Analytical Response Plan

2013-05-20T02:57:00.001-07:00

HSC-style question

You have been invited to speak at the book launch of a new collection of texts entitled Belonging in our Society.

In your speech, explain and assess the ways in which belonging is represented in the texts in the collection.

In your answer, refer to your prescribed text and at least ONE other related text of your choosing.

Modelled response

Texts: Strictly Ballroom and 'Slow Cycle'

‘Slow cycle’ is a short story written by Nerida Wayland. The extract is used here as a related text.]

Analytical response plan

Introduction

People long to be together, to spend time with one another and to connect to other human beings. Sometimes this longing is so strong that it prevents us from exploring our own desires and from fulfilling our own dreams. Our need to belong can also force us to compromise our own values and adhere to expected codes of behaviour. So what do you do? These issues of rebellion and belonging are poignantly explored in Baz Luhrmann’s film ‘Strictly Ballroom’, an Australian classic that humorously pokes fun at the frivolous world of ballroom dancing to highlight the values of self-belief and self-will, and the difficulties in expressing these in an oppressive society. The extract from Nerida Wayland’s ‘Slow cycle’ also explores the values of identity and self-expression and their effect on an individual’s ability to belong in a meaningful way in marriage. To me, ‘Strictly Ballroom’ and ‘Slow cycle’ are worthy additions to ‘Belonging in our Society’ because they explore the emotional impact of rebellion and its effect on belonging in society.

First body paragraph

Topic sentence

Main points

Fantasy motifs—e.g. red curtain, dancing silhouettes—are used to depict the ballroom dancing world as ‘unreal’.

The world of ballroom dancing is depicted as colourful and glamorous.

Interviews contain exaggerated comments and fear of ‘new steps’.

Key quotes

‘I kept asking myself, “Why?”’

’Did I fail him as a mother?’

Second body paragraph

Topic sentence

Main points

Scott is challenged by Rico to dance the paso doble and is laughed at for the way he dances.

Rico dances with passion and deliberation.

Ya Ya shows Scott where to feel the rhythm.

The Spanish community teaches Scott the value of dancing from the heart.

Scott dances freely, expressing himself.

Key quotes

‘What is so funny about the way I dance?’

Third body paragraph

Topic sentence

Rebellion against expected ways of belonging is also explored in the extract from ‘Slow cycle’ as the persona leaves her husband to travel through Morocco in a quest for identity.

Main points

There is a comparison between the postcard of the Australian outback and the Moroccan landscape.

Visual images of the Moroccan sun, wind and desert highlight the persona’s isolation and confusion.

The persona feels an inability to connect with and belong to her new environment.

A lack of understanding between the husband and wife leads to separation.

Key quotes

‘setting sun’, ‘chilling night winds’, ‘impending desert’

‘But why Morocco?’/‘Why not?’

Conclusion

As individuals, we struggle against the oppression of others who insist we blindly follow expected ways of behaving and belonging. Making a decision to rebel against expected ways of being can have a significant emotional impact on an individual’s sense of self. However, when we objectively observe the influences in our lives, we are better able to decide a course of action that is most suited to our personal judgments and aspirations. When we are comfortable with our choices we have a better chance of belonging in a meaningful manner to a group, community or society. In this collection ‘Belonging in our Society’, therefore, ‘Strictly Ballroom’ and the extract from ‘Slow cycle’ successfully address the implications of rebellion and self-expression on an individual’s ability to comfortably belong while maintaining identity.

Body paragraphs

‘Strictly Ballroom’ successfully creates humour by satirising aspects of the ballroom dancing world, showing the restrictions placed on the individual’s desire for self-expression and individuality. The opening scene highlights a fantasy world, depicting silhouettes of ballroom dancers gracefully dancing to the famous waltz, ‘The Blue Danube’, followed by images of the glitzy and glamorous dancers in their brilliant costumes. It is a world the audience is set up to admire: we would all would like to belong to it. Or would we? The crosscutting to the interviews at the beginning of the film surprises the audience, sending up the content of the interview and the exaggerated seriousness of the characters’ approach to ballroom dancing. The interviews describe the events of the recent Southern District Waratah Championships, where Scott Hastings dared to express his individuality through unconventional dance steps. A tone of mock tragedy is expressed through Shirley’s lament, ‘I kept asking myself, “Why?” … Did I fail him as a mother?’ The word ‘tragedy’ makes the audience laugh at her exaggeration. The open framing here as Scott dances out of the shot conveys the sense of rebellion, juxtaposing the image with the closed framing of the ‘strictly ballroom’ waltz in the scene. By now we see the original images of the dancing silhouettes as superficial. This is not a world we would want to belong to, as it is fraught with anxiety and fear of self-expression.

The value of self-belief in ‘Strictly Ballroom’ is shown through the realistic representation of dancing within the Spanish community, in contrast to the exaggerated, cartoon-like images of the ballroom dancing world, which is dominated by flashy costumes, wailing women and insincerity. Through Fran and her Spanish culture, Scott is transformed as he learns the value of dancing from his heart, and the true spirit of family and belonging. To depict the backyard of the Toledo Milk Bar, Fran’s home, Luhrmann uses low-key lighting and creates a romantic, warm and inviting atmosphere. When Rico challenges Scott to dance the paso doble, Scott is ridiculed for not dancing from the heart and this separates him from the group. Close-ups of people laughing are juxtaposed with long shots of Fran and Scott dancing, showing that they are laughing at the way he dances. The medium shots between Scott and Rico accentuate Scott’s humiliation and highlight Scott’s folly as Scott asks, ‘What is so funny?’ Rico rises from his chair and begins to dance with deliberate steps and obvious passion, which is shown through a combination of medium and long shots intermingled with close-ups of his spinning feet. Close-ups of Scott’s softly lit face show his sense of enlightenment and desire to connect with the values of the Spanish community. Ya Ya taps Scott’s gut and chest, mimicking the rhythm of the heartbeat, illustrating Scott’s realisation of where the real rhythm should come from. When he dances again, he is seen twirling continuously as the camera pans up from his feet. Flecks of light shine on him while he spins in complete abandonment, celebrating his liberation and newfound sense of belonging.

Rebellion against expected ways of belonging is also explored in the extract from ‘Slow cycle’ as the persona leaves her husband to travel through Morocco in a quest for identity. Marriage is integral to how we live in society, making an exploration of the barriers to an effective relationship worthy of discussion and incorporation into ‘Belonging in our Society’. The persona compares her home in Australia to Morocco through the image of the Australian outback postcards. The visual image of the Moroccan ‘setting sun’, an image of beauty, is juxtaposed with the images of ‘chilling night winds’ and ‘impending desert’, which suggest fear and loneliness. This highlights the persona’s isolation and confusion in the absence of security and belonging. The persona is uncertain about her decision to leave the marriage and travel on her own. This is further developed through the persona’s unsuccessful attempt to connect with her new environment and the young boy on the roadside, which she compares to her struggle to focus on things that matter in her marriage. The short, sharp dialogue between the persona and her husband (‘But why Morocco?’/‘Why not?’) illustrates the strain on the relationship and their inability to communicate, hampering their sense of belonging together. The persona has separated from her husband to re-establish her sense of identity, something she has not been able to do within the marriage.

The Crucible: Analytical Response Plan

2013-05-12T22:19:00.003-07:00

HSC-style question 1

Despite an individual’s desire to belong to a group or community, this is not always possible.

How do the texts you have studied represent the processes and results of belonging and/or not belonging?

In your answer, refer to your prescribed text and at least ONE other related text of your choosing.

See other analytical response plan posts for how to write an analytical response plan.

Modelled response

Texts: The Crucible and ‘Berla Hill’

[The Crucible is one of the prescribed texts for the HSC. ‘Berla Hill’ is a short piece of creative writing by Shelley McNamara, which is on this blog. It is used here as a related text.]

Analytical response plan

Introduction

Belonging to a community or group is complicated. Societies are made up of complex rules and codes of behaviour, determined by those in power, which the members of the society are expected to adhere to. However this is not always possible, especially when an individual’s values oppose those values of people in positions of power. When the dominant values in society and the processes of administering the law are fundamentally flawed and corrupt, it is difficult for the individual to remain true to their own sense of morality. In ‘The Crucible’, by Arthur Miller, hysteria caused by accusations of witchcraft destroys the community, creating mistrust and fear and the struggle to belong securely in family groups . Similarly, in the short piece of creative writing ‘Berla Hill’, the hypocrisy of the council’s practice of governing is exposed through the death of innocent children, undermining the secure foundation of the society they purport to provide.

First body paragraph

Topic sentence

Main points

The fervour of accusations destroys logic in the community.

Miller is critical of the hysteria, as it leads to innocent people being accused.

Miller and his friends were accused of having pro-communist beliefs.

Accusations are based on grudges, not truth.

Hale urges Danforth to postpone the hangings as Salem is on the verge of rebellion.

Key quotes

‘She thinks to kill me, then to take my place’

Second body paragraph

Topic sentence

In an act of redemption and rebellion, John Proctor overcomes the oppression of belonging to a corrupted society by adhering to the principles of honour and dignity.

Main points

Elizabeth tells Proctor that Corey Giles refused to confess to witchcraft and was crushed to death by stones.

Proctor laments that he is not a good man and can’t go to the gallows a martyr.

Proctor asks for Elizabeth’s forgiveness.

Proctor confesses to witchcraft, but refuses to sign the confession as it will condemn innocent people.

Proctor refuses to sign the confession as he will compromise his reputation.

Act of ‘judging’ is used to symbolise the corruption of the law

He goes to the gallows redeemed.

Key quotes

‘mount the gibbet like a saint’

‘dust on the feet of them that hanged’

‘I speak my own sins; I cannot judge another’

‘He have his goodness now’

Third body paragraph

Topic sentence

In ‘Berla Hill’, the forced unity and sense of belonging of the community is juxtaposed with the corruption and hypocrisy of the council, which has caused the death of innocent children.

Main points

The composer uses an ironic tone when writing about the building of the new council chambers and the community’s mandatory financial contributions.

The children fall ill and are buried at the back of the council chambers instead of the churchyard.

The green sterilising fluid from the drain is the cause of these deaths.

A young boy is found dead in the river, finally exposing the corruption.

Key quotes

‘civic responsibility’

‘splendid addition to our fine city’

‘green sterilising fluid flushing out unwanted waste’

‘God-fearing Christians’

Conclusion

To defy the established order in any given society is not an easy task. The desire to belong to a community and follow expected moral codes is so strong that it can lead people to compromise their own integrity and values. ‘The Crucible’ explores the difficulties that can result when an individual refuses to yield to the corruption of values in a society in order to simply belong. The ease with which individuals can be manipulated by those in authority is represented in ‘Berla Hill’, showing that corruption leads to instability and a lack of desire to belong in a society that is fundamentally flawed by those in power.

Body paragraphs

In ‘The Crucible’, hysteria plays a significant role in destroying the sense of belonging within the community of Salem, compromising people’s security within their households and obscuring faith in dominant values within the society. The process of enacting revenge is symbolically represented through the fervour of accusations of witchcraft, which destroy all logic and allow people in Salem to believe normally upstanding members of the community have been involved in heinous activities, such as killing babies and communing with the devil. Miller, having been accused of being a communist along with many of his friends, is critical of this hysteria. Despite some of his characters’ legitimate fear of witchcraft, the fervour surrounding their accusations leads to innocent people being accused of wrongdoing to satisfy vengeful grudges. Abigail accuses Elizabeth of witchcraft in order to seek revenge, as Elizabeth acknowledges when she says, Abigail ‘thinks to kill me, then to take my place’. Thomas Putnam seeks revenge on Francis Nurse by accusing his wife, Rebecca, of murdering Ann Putnam’s babies through supernatural means. In Act Four, Reverend Hale reports that the town is in great confusion because of the hysteria, using visual images of homeless orphans wandering the street, abandoned cattle and rotting crops. Judge Danforth refuses to postpone the hangings of innocent people, however, ironically stating that it would be unjust to pardon people when others have already been hanged for the same crime. A previously cohesive community is now on the verge of rebellion, as no one knows who the next victim of the hysteria will be.

In an act of redemption and rebellion, John Proctor overcomes the oppression of belonging to a corrupted society by adhering to the principles of honour and dignity. In the last scene of the play, Elizabeth is urged by Reverend Hale to speak with Proctor in the hope that she can get her husband to confess to witchcraft. Instead, Elizabeth’s visual image of Giles Corey being crushed to death by having stones placed on his chest forces Proctor to consider his own personal truth. Even on the brink of death, Giles Corey refused to tarnish his reputation and stood mute so that he could die a Christian under the law. Proctor laments that he is not a good man and cannot ‘mount the gibbet like a saint’, the simile being used to compare the honour of characters like Corey with Proctor’s own blemished past. Proctor thinks that if he goes to the gallows as a martyr it would be a falsehood as he is not worth the ‘dust on the feet of them that hanged’—others who have not sinned as he has. In the end, he refuses to sign the confession as it will condemn innocent people: ‘I speak my own sins; I cannot judge another’. The act of ‘judging’ is used to symbolically represent the irony of the legal proceedings during the witch trial, which led to innocent deaths. Proctor, an ordinary man, acts honourably by refusing to ‘judge’ others, while the law does not. Proctor was at first willing to give his soul through his confession, but refuses to compromise his reputation for the sake of belonging to a corrupt society, maintaining his dignity in the face of death. As he goes to the gallows, Elizabeth observes that ‘he have his goodness now’.

In ‘Berla Hill’, the forced unity and sense of belonging of the community is juxtaposed with the corruption and hypocrisy of the council, which has caused the death of innocent children. The system of governing, which led to the development of a new council chamber building, becomes the reason for the destruction of the community’s sense of security and trust in authority. The composer establishes an ironic tone about the new building the community has been forced to pay for as part of their ‘civic responsibility’. The community was assured that the chambers would be a ‘splendid addition’ to the ‘fine city’, not only because of the stonework in the building, but through the construction of a youth centre designed to keep young people off the streets and out of trouble. However, there is a suggestion of a cover-up, created through the visual images of small children suddenly falling ill and dying. The image of their burial at the back of the council chambers instead of in the churchyard symbolises the council’s cover-up. When it becomes obvious that the ‘green sterilising fluid’ is actually the cause of these deaths, the council members try to preserve the enforced sense of community and continue with the pretence of celebration for the opening of the new council chambers. The composer’s sceptical tone is shown through the councillors’ claim that they are nevertheless ‘God-fearing Christians’. When a young boy slips through his mother’s arms at the opening ceremony and is found dead in the river, the corruption and hypocrisy of those in authority is finally exposed. The composer is highlighting that belonging securely in a society is dependent upon the honest practices of those who have the power to manipulate that society.

Belonging Related Text - Berla Hill

2013-05-12T22:16:00.003-07:00

Berla Hill council chambers were nestled on the top of the hill, overlooking the town of the same name. The recently built stone building was unlike any other in town as the rest of the public buildings were made of wood. Members of the council chambers assured the community that the building was the most splendid addition to our fine town and that the extra levies on our council fees we were forced to pay was our civic responsibility. The council chambers was unique in that as well as containing a ballroom temporarily available for mass until the new church was built, there was a centre for youth to drop in at their leisure. The centre also provided activities and programs specifically designed to keep the youth of today entertained and off the streets. The councillors also hoped that the days of random markings, symbolic of delinquent youth behaviour, all over the town hall and courthouse were well and truly past for our most gracious city.

The council chambers were scheduled to be opened for business on the 16th of June 1850. It was expected that as well as prominent officials and businessmen in the community, mothers and their children of non-school age would also be in attendance. Since the burning of the church, it was our duty to support local families and promote community spirit in whatever way we could. Tea was to be served on the verandah on the south side of the building overlooking the river at half past 10 in the morning and proceedings would begin promptly in the ballroom half an hour later.

Recently several small children had fallen ill, coughing sporadically and breaking out in a nasty rash. When they died, the town broke with the tradition of the country and began burying these small children on the hill behind the chambers instead of the yard of the local church, which no one had bothered to get around to building yet. The councillors assured us that our beloved children were in safe hands and that as God-fearing Christians they would look after them in death as they had done in life.

At the back of the chambers, at the bottom of the hill, sheep wandered aimlessly in the green pastures and the cattle slept under the scattered trees. An open drain, a feat of innovation we were told on account of the green sterilising liquid flushing out unwanted waste, ran from the council chambers down the dusty road to the river at the front, which ran along the bottom of the hill through to the main part of town some 500 metres below. The local children would strip off naked and paddle in the cool water at the bottom of the hill on a warm summer’s day. As a child, my brother and I had swum there daily in the summer months. It was our only relief from the heat. Since the opening of the council chambers all that has changed. The children began to avoid the area from that day forward, even though it is the deepest part of the river and you can jump off the rocks on the side into the water without fear of hitting the bottom. The lack of life caused a slimy film to grow over the water and our fine city.

On the grand opening day, during Councillor Fraser’s glorious speech in the heady heat about the benefits of community spirit and the value of a solid work ethic, a strange smell like rotten eggs wafted through the proceedings, distracting the usually attentive constituents. A councillor rose from his chair to close the windows, stifling the listeners even more. A young boy from a neighbouring farm slipped from his mother’s arms to go to his father, so she thought, but instead the boy made his way down the dusty road to the river. While we coughed and congratulated ourselves on the generous contributions we had made to the building of the council chambers, the boy disappeared into the river.

As the body was dragged over the rocky bank up onto the grass where a large group of people looked on furtively, the boy’s skin sizzled like a sausage, and I temporarily presumed he must still be alive. Burials resumed in the churchyard after that day.

Shelley McNamara

Great Expectations: Analytical Response Plan

2010-05-11T19:57:00.000-07:00

Activity
Plan your ideas by:

· Reading Great Expectations and related texts(of your own choosing).
· Researching how meaning is created through textual features in each text.
· For each question come up with:

a) an introduction
b) a conclusion
c) at least six main topic sentences
d) your main ideas in point form underneath each topic sentence
e) key quotes that support your points
f) written body paragraphs for each paragraph
g) reference to at least ONE related text of your own choosing.

HSC-style question
Despite an individual’s desire to belong to a group or community, this is not always possible.

How do the texts you have studied represent the processes and results of belonging?

Discuss this statement, focusing on how composers of texts represent the concept of belonging.

Activity
Before you begin writing, brainstorm ideas about the question and your possible approach to the question.

Thesis (introduction) ideas: Introduction
Belonging to a community or group is essential to how we live in society. We all strive to belonging. At times, the desire to belong to a social class that is beyond us is so strong that it alters our conscience to the point where we lose our integrity. Pip’s determination to become a gentleman according to high society’s standards in Great Expectations by Charles Dickens provides the conditions in which he learns to value people themselves over the perception of people’s worth. (Add your ideas about the related text here.)

Conclusion
A change in an individual’s perception is necessary in order to achieve a sense of lasting belonging in society. The ability to appreciate people as they are and judge their behaviour as opposed to their position in society are crucial to Pip’s acceptance of himself and others in Great Expectations. It is this awareness that leads to him becoming the gentleman he aspired to be. (Add ideas about related texts here.)

First body paragraph

Topic sentence
Pip comes to accept the mentorship of Magwitch, leading to a greater awareness of what it truly means to be a gentleman and belong with integrity in society.

Main points
Symbolism of the marshes represents Pip’s lowly past and where he grew up.
Pip perceives being a gentleman as being determined by the class system – you are either a ‘gentleman’ or ‘common’.
Pip realises he treated Joe and Biddy unpleasantly, just as Miss Havisham treated him.
Pip thinks Magwitch’s money is less pure than Miss Havisham’s money.
Pip’s awareness of Magwitch’s love.
Pip’s idealisation of Estella symbolises his perception of what is ideal in life.
Ironic that Estella is more closely related to a criminal than Pip is.

Key quotes
‘gentleman’, ‘common’
“I only saw in him a much better man than I had been to Joe”

Body paragraph
Pip comes to accept the mentorship of Magwitch, leading to a greater awareness of what it truly means to be a gentleman and belong with integrity in society. Pip originally associates the marshes, where he meets Magwitch the convict who later becomes his benefactor, as a symbol of his lowly past and where he grew up. When Pip first realises Magwitch is a common criminal, his initial reaction is disgust that his ‘great expectations’ were all a sham. Pip originally bases his judgment on what it means to be a gentleman through his perception of the class system, determined by ideas of being a ‘gentleman’ or being ‘common’. At first he becomes angry with Miss Havisham for leading him to believe that she was in fact his benefactor, but he realises that he treated Joe and Biddy just as unpleasantly, having avoided their company because he considered them to be ‘common’. At first, Pip thinks he is ruined because he is linked to a convict, even though the convict has been very altruistic in his treatment of Pip. Pip perceives the money which brought him ‘great expectations’ is somehow less pure than money from Miss Havisham. Yet the convict has shown Pip more generosity and care than Miss Havisham as he behaves like Pip’s ‘second father’. Pip comes to appreciate Magwitch’s love as shown through Pip’s thoughts about him as he held his hand before his death: I only saw in him a much better man than I had been to Joe. Pip's idea of all that is desirable in life is symbolised through his idealisation of Estella – she is wealthy, beautiful and uncommon. It is ironic that what he adores is more closely related to the world of criminals and convicts than he. Pip has been blindly headed towards what he thought he was running away from in the first place.

Second body paragraph (write your own ideas)
Topic sentence
Main points
Key quotes

Third body paragraph
Topic sentence
Main points
Key quotes

Fourth body paragraph
Topic sentence
Main points
Key quotes

Fifth paragraph
Topic sentence
Main points
Key quotes

Sixth paragraph
Topic sentence
Main points
Key quotes

Great Expectations: Key Scene Analysis

2010-05-11T19:48:00.001-07:00

To gain a better understanding of how language techniques work together to create meaning, it is a good idea to analyse a few key scenes from the text.

Activity
Make notes about a key scene in Great Expectations, taking into account:
• language techniques
• examples (quotes) of the techniques from the text
• analysis of how these examples relate to belonging.

Then write a full analysis of the scene and its techniques, and its relation to belonging.
An example of a scene has been included in the following modelled response. After you have read the modelled response, choose a different scene to analyse.

Modelled response
Key scene: Pip’s first visit to Satis House

Techniques and examples:
Decrepit imagery of Miss Havisham - ‘grave-clothes’, veil like a ‘shroud’
Lack of light in Miss Havisham’s house
Metaphor of cruel- hearted Estella

Analysis:
Miss Havisham is an old woman who has given up on life.
Decayed wedding dress represents Miss Havisham’s abandoned love and the decaying effect this has had on her perception of life.
Miss Havisham blocks out the light, highlighting her loneliness and withdrawal from society.
Estella bought up to break men’s hearts echoes Miss Havishams desire to spurn love.

Full analysis of how the techniques and examples represent belonging:Pip's visits to Miss Havisham’s house changes him, as he develops a determination to become a gentleman. Miss Havisham is an old woman who was abandoned on her weddind day and has, as a result, given up on life. Dickens describes her through decrepit imagery. Her yellowed wedding gown, ‘grave-clothes’, and the veil like a ‘shroud’, represents an abandoned love and the decaying effect this has had on her perception of life. She refuses to exit the house, blocking out the light further highlighting her loneliness and withdrawal from society. Pip imagines that if the light did strike Miss Havisham that it would turn her to dust. Her only companion is Estella, her beautiful adopted daughter, whom Pip develops a strong affection for, which turns into love as he grows older. But it is unrequited love, as Miss Havisham has made it her dark life's project to raise Estella as a cruel-hearted girl who will break men's hearts, metaphorically representing Miss Havisham's own desire to spurn love. The imagery in this scene is one of crumbling decay, just like Miss Havisham, sitting ‘corpse-like’ as she watched Estella and Pip play. It is unnatural as is the relationship between Estella and Miss Havisahm. Despite this, Pip aspires to belong to the high society the house symbolises. Although Pip feels uncomfortable visiting Satis House, he concludes that his ‘uncommonness’ is the cause of his distress and determines to become a gentleman. Pip is unable to see that the bitterness of the ‘cold wind’ echoes the bitterness of Miss Havisham and Estella.

Heat and Dust: Key Scene Analysis

2010-02-24T22:13:00.001-08:00

To gain a better understanding of how language and visual techniques work together to create meaning, it is a good idea to analyse a few key scenes from the text.

Activity

Make notes about a key scene in Heat and Dust, taking into account:

• language techniques

• examples of the techniques from the text

• analysis of how these examples relate to belonging.

Then write a full analysis of the scene and its techniques, and their relation to belonging.

An example of a scene has been included in the following modelled response. After you have read the modelled response, choose a different scene to analyse.

Modelled response

Key scene: Part 11 Section 33; Part 12 Section

Techniques and examples:

· Visual imagery of the narrator and Olivia with midwives and the possibility of having a termination
· Metaphor of Maji in a state of Samadhi
· Juxtaposition of the narrator’s and Olivia’s decision regarding having a child
· Symbolism of burka for Olivia
· Symbolism of the Italian child marble statue
· Metaphor of crumbling child gravestone

Analysis:

· Samadhi is a metaphor for pregnancy and what is usually associated with the joy of having children.
· The narrator recognizes her pregnancy as the source of joy and does not want it terminated.
· The burka symbolizes a culture that is different to Olivia’s own and highlights her inability to belong and be accepted.
· Olivia chooses not to belong in the world as a mother.
· The crumbling child gravestone represents the implications of termination according to Dr. Saunders.
· The narrator chooses to see pregnancy as a positive change in her life, unlike Olivia whose life ‘crumbles’ after this decision.

Full analysis of how the techniques and examples represent belonging:

In the section dated August 31^st, the composer creates visual imagery of both the narrator and Olivia’s choices regarding having a child. The narrator is surprised to be followed by another woman as she walks to the bazaar. She stops by Maji's hut, who is in a ‘state of Samadhi’ having reached a ‘higher state of consciousness submerged in its bliss’. This state of consciousness can be perceived as a metaphor for pregnancy and what is usually associated with the joy of having children. A mother and child’s relationship is regarded as a special bond in society, where belonging is established between the mother and child in pregnancy. Maji again reminds her that now would be a good time for a skillful massage which would induce a termination, if that is her choice. When the narrator asks her to stop the message, she does so immediately. The narrator recognises her pregnancy as the source of a completely new feeling and rapture and does not want it terminated. She appreciates the strong sense of belonging between a mother and child and wishes to honour this.

The composer juxtaposes the narrator’s pregnancy with Olivia’s pregnancy in the section from 1923. In this descriptive scene Olivia is instructed to don a burka and follow one of the servants down the dark alleys of slummy Satipur. The burka symbolizes a culture that is different to her own and highlights her inability to belong and be accepted fully in that culture as she needs to pretend to be from a different culture. The midwives instruct Olivia to lie down on a mat and begin massaging her abdomen. Finally though, Olivia closes her eyes to the pain, demonstrating that she chooses not to belong in the world as a mother. The midwives begin as Maji had done. They were relaxed and professional, performing a task that needed to be done.

The performance of terminations by the midwives can be contrasted with the symbolism of the Italian marble angel statue. The Saunders' had had the statue imported to commemorate a child who died in infancy. By the narrator's time the gravestone was beheaded, without arms and otherwise crumbling. The crumbling child gravestone can also be contrasted with Dr. Saunder’s outraged over Olivia's decision, clearly seeing her choice as having long term destructive implications. For Dr. Saunders, Olivia’s decision, while easy to accept in the present, will become like the child gravestone which was once new and whole, but disintegrated over time due to the weather and lack up care and attention. Both the angel statue and Dr. Saunders outrage demonstrate the difficulties of belonging when others in society have different values. The narrator is challenged because she chooses to have a baby out of wedlock with a married man of a different culture from her own and Olivia is judged for choosing to terminate her baby. The narrator , however chooses to see pregnancy as a positive change in her life, unlike Olivia whose life ‘crumbles’ from this point forward to the point where she becomes a recluse in a foreign land.

Heat and Dust: Analytical Response Plan

2010-02-24T22:10:00.001-08:00

Planning your analytical response

Activity

Plan your ideas by:

· Reading Heat and Dust and related texts(of your own choosing)

· Researching how meaning is created through textual features in each text.

· For each question come up with:

a) an introduction

b) a conclusion

c) at least six main topic sentences

d) your main ideas in point form underneath each topic sentence

e) key quotes that support your points

f) written body paragraphs for each paragraph

g) reference to at least ONE related text of your own choosing.

HSC-style question

Despite an individual’s desire to belong to a group or community, this is not always possible.

How do the texts you have studied represent the processes and results of belonging and/or not belonging?

Refer to your prescribed text and ONE other related text of your own choosing.

Activity

Before you begin writing, brainstorm ideas about the question and your possible approach to the question.

Thesis (introduction) ideas:

Introduction

Belonging to a community or group is complicated. Societies are made up of complex rules and codes of behaviour, determined by those in power, which the members of the society are expected to adhere to. However this is not always possible, especially when people live in a foriegn land, and are exposed to different cultural values. Often in these circumstances, individual’s values oppose those values of community members. The search for a sense of identity in a foreign community is explored in Ruth Prawer Jhabvala’s ‘Heat and Dust’, highlighting the significance of honouring the self in creating an individual’s sense of belonging. (Add your ideas about the related text here.)

Conclusion

As individuals, we struggle against the oppression of others who insist we blindly follow expected ways of behaving and belonging. Making a decision to rebel against expected ways of being can have a significant emotional impact on an individual’s sense of self. But ultimately pursuing individual dreams and self belief can lead to a powerful sense of belonging. This is especially true when individuals honestly express their personal values despite the possible consequences of not belonging within the framework of the dominant culture. The narrator in ‘Heat and Dust’ discovers a powerful sense of belonging through adopting these values and believing in herself. It is true however that honouring personal desires can lead to separation from society as shown through Olivia becoming a recluse.

First body paragraph

Topic sentence

Main points

· Samadhi is a metaphor for pregnancy and what is usually associated with the joy of having children.
· The narrator recognizes her pregnancy as the source of joy and does not want it terminated.
· Juxtaposition of the narrator’s and Olivia’s decisions regarding having a child.
· Olivia chooses not to belong in the world as a mother.

Key quotes

‘Maji was in a state of samadhi … to have reached a higher state of consciousness and to be submerged in its bliss.’

Body paragraph

In the section dated August 31st, the composer creates visual imagery of both the narrator’s and Olivia’s choice regarding having a child and the effect this has on their ability to belong in a foreign country. The narrator is surprised to be followed by another woman as she walks to the bazaar. She stops by Maji's hut, who is in a ‘state of Samadhi’ having reached a ‘higher state of consciousness submerged in its bliss’. This state of consciousness can be perceived as a metaphor for pregnancy and what is usually associated with the joy of having children. A mother and child’s relationship is regarded as a special bond in society, where belonging is established between the mother and child in pregnancy. Maji again reminds her that now would be a good time for a skillful massage which would induce a termination, if that is her choice. When the narrator asks her to stop the message, she does so immediately. The narrator recognises her pregnancy as the source of a completely new feeling and rapture and does not want it terminated. She appreciates the strong sense of belonging between a mother and child and wishes to honour this. The composer juxtaposes the narrator’s pregnancy with Olivia’s pregnancy in the section from 1923. The midwives instruct Olivia to lie down on a mat and begin massaging her abdomen. Finally though, Olivia closes her eyes to the pain, demonstrating that she chooses not to belong in the world as a mother.

Second body paragraph
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Third body paragraph
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Fourth body paragraph
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Sixth body paragraph
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Immigrant Chronicle: Key Poem Analysis

2010-02-24T22:08:00.001-08:00

Activity

Make notes about a key poem in Immigrant Chronicle, taking into account:

• language techniques

• examples (quotes) of the techniques from the text

• analysis of how these examples relate to belonging.

Then write a full analysis of the poem and its techniques, and their relation to belonging.

An example of a poem has been included in the following modelled response. After you have read the modelled response, choose a different poem to analyse.

Modelled response

Key poem: ‘Feliks Skrzynecki’

Techniques and examples:

The metaphor ‘the Joneses of his own mind’s making’
The simile ‘Loved his garden like an only child’
Visual imagery ‘shook hands too violently’
Visual imagery of the garden with the ‘golden cypress’ border and the ‘geraniums’
Hadrian’s Wall metaphor: ‘After that, like a dumb prophet, watched me pegging my tents/Further and further south of Hadrian’s Wall’.

Analysis:

The poet is paying tribute to his father in order to demonstrate the strong link between the family and feelings of belonging
The poet is in awe of how his father has overcome pain and suffering and yet still feels a sense of contentment, which can be associated with belonging
The poet feels isolation and distance from his parent’s heritage
The poet regrets that he will never know his father’s heritage.

Full analysis of how the techniques and examples represent belonging:

In ‘Feliks Skrzynecki’, the poet explores the ideas of how family and respect are conducive to belonging despite differences in culture. Feliks Skrzynecki is the poet’s stepfather. The poet is paying tribute to his father in order to demonstrate the strong link between the family and feelings of belonging. The poet depicts how well his father has adjusted to being away from his native Poland. He is in awe of how his father has overcome pain and suffering and yet still feels a sense of contentment. In observing his father, the poet also explores his own sense of place and meditates on how he can not escape his own cultural heritage if he is to understand himself. In stanza 1, the metaphor ‘the Joneses of his own mind’s making’ suggest that his father’s identity is strongly linked to individualism and that he wants to do things simply in his own way. The simile ‘Loved his garden like an only child’ suggests that his father takes pride in his garden and finds a sense of himself there. In stanza 3, the poet’s isolation and distance from his parent’s heritage is demonstrated through his observation of how his father interacts with his Polish friends. He suggests through visual imagery they ‘shook hands too violently’, as if their interaction would not be acceptable and conducive to belonging in Australian culture. This behaviour also excludes the son from his Polish heritage. Visual imagery of the garden with the ‘golden cypress’ border and the ‘geraniums’ illustrates the poet’s admiration for his father, and the sense of contentment that he has worked hard to achieve. The poet uses this image to show his sense of regret that he will never know his father’s heritage nor feel the contentment that his father feels. The poet’s sense of loss of self is further represented by the Hadrian’s Wall metaphor: ‘After that, like a dumb prophet, watched me pegging my tents/Further and further south of Hadrian’s Wall’. The son is aware that he will move further and further away from his father’s heritage and there is nothing his father, a ‘dumb prophet’ (‘dumb’ meaning mute or unspeaking), can do about it.

Immigrant Chronicle: Analytical Response Plan

2010-02-24T22:02:00.000-08:00

Plan your ideas by:

· Reading relevant poems in Immigrant Chronicle and related texts(of your own choosing)

· Researching how meaning is created through textual features in each text.

· For each question come up with:

a) an introduction

b) a conclusion

c) at least six main topic sentences

d) your main ideas in point form underneath each topic sentence

e) key quotes that support your points

f) written body paragraphs for each paragraph

g) reference to at least ONE related text of your own choosing.

HSC-style question

‘Belonging to a community or group has a significant impact on an individual’s sense of self and the community.’

Discuss this statement, focusing on how composers of texts represent the concept of belonging.

In your answer, refer to your prescribed text and at least ONE related texts of your choosing.

Before you begin writing, brainstorm ideas about the question and your possible approach to the question.

Thesis (introduction) ideas:

Introduction

As humans we constantly strive to belong within families and cultural groups. We all need to belong, to connect to others in a meaningful and enriching way. Families can create a safe environment for us to belong, but this is not always possible. Displacement from a family, community or even homeland can therefore have a significant impact on how an individual sees themselves. The impact of migration on an individual’s sense of belonging is explored in Peter Skrzyneck’s ‘Immigrant Chronicle’ and in particular the poem “Felik Skrynecki”, highlighting the significance of how displacement from a person’s heritage can affect identity. (Add your ideas about other poems and the related text here.)

Conclusion

The stories of countless migrants in

Australia

form a significant part of our heritage and contribute to our understanding of the communities we live in. The determination of migrants to belong and find their unique place and sense of self despite the harsh conditions and prejudices they endure, make their stories even more admirable. Peter Skrzynecki’s Immigrant Chronicle highlights the devastating, but sometimes enlightening effects of migration on the individual’s sense of self and the inherent desire in all of us to find a place to belong and feel connected to the world and its people.

First body paragraph

Topic sentence

In ‘Feliks Skrzynecki’, the poet explores the ideas of how family and respect for family members has an impact on an individual’s sense of self and their perception of culture.

Main points

The poet is paying tribute to his father in order to demonstrate the strong link between the family and feelings of belonging
The poet is in awe of how his father has overcome pain and suffering and yet still feels a sense of contentment, which can be associated with belonging
The poet feels isolation and distance from his parent’s heritage
The poet regrets that he will never know his father’s heritage

Key quotes

the Joneses of his own mind’s making’
‘Loved his garden like an only child’
‘shook hands too violently’
‘golden cypress’ border and the ‘geraniums’
‘After that, like a dumb prophet, watched me pegging my tents/Further and further south of Hadrian’s Wall’

Body paragraph

In ‘Feliks Skrzynecki’, the poet explores the ideas of how family and respect for family members has an impact on an individual’s sense of self and their perception of culture. The poet is paying tribute to his father step father, Feliks Skrzynecki, in order to demonstrate the strong link between the family and feelings of belonging. The poet depicts how well his father has adjusted to being away from his native

Poland

. He is in awe of how his father has overcome pain and suffering and yet still feels a sense of contentment. In observing his father, the poet also explores his own sense of place and meditates on how he can not escape his own cultural heritage if he is to understand himself. In stanza 1, the metaphor ‘the Joneses of his own mind’s making’ suggest that his father’s identity is strongly linked to individualism and that he wants to do things simply in his own way. The simile ‘Loved his garden like an only child’ suggests that his father takes pride in his garden and finds a sense of himself there. In stanza 3, the poet’s isolation and distance from his parent’s heritage is demonstrated through his observation of how his father interacts with his Polish friends. He suggests through visual imagery they ‘shook hands too violently’, as if their interaction would not be acceptable and conducive to belonging in Australian culture. This behaviour also excludes the son from his Polish heritage. Visual imagery of the garden with the ‘golden cypress’ border and the ‘geraniums’ illustrates the poet’s admiration for his father, and the sense of contentment that he has worked hard to achieve. The poet uses this image to show his sense of regret that he will never know his father’s heritage nor feel the contentment that his father feels. The poet’s sense of loss of self is further represented by the Hadrian’s Wall metaphor: ‘After that, like a dumb prophet, watched me pegging my tents/Further and further south of Hadrian’s Wall’. The son is aware that he will move further and further away from his father’s heritage and there is nothing his father, a ‘dumb prophet’ (‘dumb’ meaning mute or unspeaking), can do about it.

Second body paragraph
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Third body paragraph
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Developing Understanding of the Concept of Belonging

2009-11-14T23:58:00.000-08:00

Learning journal

Occasionally in class, in the last five minutes, reflect on what you learnt about belonging in the lesson. Consider:
· What you understand belonging to mean
· What you have learnt about belonging from the written and visual texts you studies in class and in your own time
· Personal positive and negative experiences that relate to belonging
· How studying belonging has changed your perspective of yourself and your world.

Belonging picture and writing file

· Compile pictures, drawings, cartoons, maps, even personal drawings in a scrap book that reflect ideas, themes, characters and the concept of belonging explored in texts studied in class.
· Compile quotes, extracts from writing, poems, even writing that you have created, that reflect ideas, themes, characters and the concept of belonging explored in texts studied in class.
· Use magazines, internet, newspapers, the library, etc to find resources.
· Under each visual and written text explain how the resource relates to the themes, ideas, characters and concept of belonging reflected in set texts studied in class.
· Create a cover for your book using visuals and written text.

Rainbow's End: Analytical Response Plan

2009-10-24T17:32:00.000-07:00

Plan your ideas by:
- Reading Rainbow’s End and related texts (of your own choosing)
- Researching how meaning is created through textual features in each text.

For each question come up with:
- an introduction
- a conclusion
- at least six main topic sentences
- your main ideas in point form underneath each topic sentence
- key quotes that support your points.

HSC-style question
Despite an individual’s desire to belong to a group or community, this is not always possible.

How do the texts you have studied represent the processes and results of belonging and/or not belonging?

Introduction
Belonging to a community or group is complicated. Societies are made up of complex rules and codes of behaviour, determined by those in power, which the members of the society are expected to adhere to. However this is not always possible, especially when an individual’s values oppose those values of people in positions of power…

Conclusion
As individuals, we struggle against the oppression of others who insist we blindly follow expected ways of behaving and belonging. Making a decision to rebel against expected ways of being can have a significant emotional impact on an individual’s sense of self ...

First body paragraph
Topic sentence
‘Errol’s plan for Dolly’ scene represents how closely belonging in Rainbow’s End is linked to the strength of the family and the relationships within the families.

Main points
Errol misinterprets the meaning of a better life for Dolly
Dolly is horrified at the thought of leaving her family, her home
Errol’s awareness of the meaning of home

Key quotes
‘This is my place. I am staying right here with my mum and my Nan’
‘real home’
‘real stove’
‘where you belong, and your family, is important’

Body paragraphs

‘Errol’s plan for Dolly’ scene represents how closely belonging in Rainbow’s End is linked to the strength of the family and the relationships within the families. Errol thinks to take Dolly away from her family in order to give her a better life. He creates an ironic image of a small flat in the city with a sitting-room and a ‘real stove’. He says that although there would be no room for visitors to stay, it would be better than what she has now.

Activity
If you have studied ‘Rainbows End’, use the modelled response as a guide to write a plan for the next five body paragraphs.

On a separate piece of paper, write the paragraphs in full, using your notes.

Second body paragraph
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Third body paragraph
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Fourth body paragraph
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Sixth body paragraph
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Rainbow’s End: Key Scene Analysis

2009-10-24T17:29:00.000-07:00

To gain a better understanding of how language and visual techniques work together to create meaning, it is a good idea to analyse a few key scenes from the text.

ActivityMake notes about a key scene in Rainbow’s End, taking into account:
• language or visual techniques
• examples of the techniques from the text
• analysis of how these examples relate to belonging.

Then write a full analysis of the scene and its techniques, and their relation to belonging.

Key scene: Errol’s plan for Dolly

Techniques and examples:

Ironic imagery of a small flat in the city
Symbolism of material possessions
Definite tone used by Dolly to reject Errol’s offer

Analysis:

Errol misinterprets the meaning of a better life for Dolly
Dolly is horrified at the thought of leaving her family, her home
Errol’s awareness of the meaning of home

Full analysis of how the techniques and examples represent belonging:

‘Errol’s plan for Dolly’ scene represents how closely belonging in Rainbow’s End is linked to the strength of the family and the relationships within the families. Errol thinks to take Dolly away from her family in order to give her a better life. He creates an ironic image of a small flat in the city with a sitting-room and a ‘real stove’. He says that although there would be no room for visitors to stay, it would be better than what she has now. Harrison symbolically uses these material possessions to show that Errol has misinterpreted what a ‘real home’ means. Dolly is horrified at the thought of leaving the river and her family. To her, a home is not defined by the objects in it, but by the people she loves and spends time with. She rejects his offer, saying in a definite tone that ‘This is my place. I am staying right here with my mum and my Nan’. Later, when Errol returns, he demonstrates his understanding of her family bond, saying, ‘where you belong, and your family, is important’.

Writing prose from images

2009-10-23T22:41:00.000-07:00

Activity: (This should take about 15 minutes to complete)
Imagine the still images (on the right side of the blog) reflect the setting of a potential narrative about ‘belonging’ or ‘not belonging’. Write a descriptive paragraph for each image, developing the story by adding, characters, plot and conflict. You may like to use some of your creative writing pieces from the activities above.

OR

Developing plot using images

Activity
Plot refers to what happens in the story – the action. Things happen to various characters in particular settings. The following strategy will help you to see how the plot of a story can develop. By writing short pieces about a series of seemingly unrelated images, your plot will take shape. Perhaps the ideas you come up with could inspire you to develop the narrative further.

Collect 4 - 6 images that seem to be unrelated. The more unusual they appear, the better. For example images of a lamp, a sheep, a cockroach and a baseball cap do not seem to relate to one another. Under each image write a short piece (about 100 words) through freewriting inspired by that image. Although the images may not seem to relate, try to connect each image when you write by creating a story. Add mystery, conflict, drama to your story.

You can find images anywhere – on the internet, in magazines and newspapers, photographs – old and new. It’s up to you. Choose pictures that appeal to you.

Point of View in Writing

2009-10-23T22:33:00.000-07:00

Activity: (This should take about 10 minutes each to complete)
In first person, write a description of a scene from your childhood where you felt a strong sense of belonging or not belonging. Write in the first person using the present tense. Add aspects to your description that may not have happened, for example the setting or people involved.

Extension:
a) Write the same paragraph, but from a different character’s point of view. Compare and contrast the effect of each paragraph.

b) Write the same paragraph, but in third person. Compare and contrast the effect of each paragraph.

Modelled response: First person -My point of view
I remember I cracked my chin open. Jees it hurt. We were at the local pools. My aunty took us there on the holidays when Mum and Dad were at work. My brother had decided to jump off the highest diving board in the complex. I was about 6 years of age so the board looked like a tower jutting out of the ice blue water below. I was frightened of the water on account of being pushed in a pool at my grandmas by my cousin. Consequently, I refused to learn to swim.

My brother was about 8 and his courage astounded me. I was baffled that he would even contemplate such a daring feat. My baffleness expressed itself in a jumping fit of nervousness at the edge of the pool. As my brother stood up on the end the board, presumably convincing himself that flying through the air was a good idea, I slipped. My chin caught itself in between the water and the edge of the pool.

My fall must have corresponded with my brother’s jump as I saw the heavy splash in front of my face and my brother bobbing up out of the water.

Modelled response: Third person - Brother's point of view
He remembered walking up the slippery steps of the diving boards. He had made this journey many a time, but this time he stopped at the half way mark. Usually he would exit here, take his position behind the jumpers in front of him and look up toward the giant board in the sky. There he saw older guys, flexing their muscles, warming up for their dive.

Today he decided to join the big guys, waiting his turn till he stood on the edge. He looked down at his aunt and sister. His silly sister was jumping around like a jack in a box, popping here and there. His aunt was sheltering her eyes with her arm. He looked from his family to his feet to the water below, all the while his body vibrated with fear. Breathing became difficult. Behind him men grumbled to hurry up. He was with the big boys now and the only way was down.

Creative Writing: Characterisation

2009-10-23T22:31:00.000-07:00

Character lost list
Activity: (This should take about 10 minutes to complete.)
Characters in stories are driven by a strong desire for something, just like people are in life. In stories the character goes on to achieve the desire or not. You may have noticed that in some of your freewrites that ‘you’ either did or did not achieve what you wanted.

A lost list of your character’s life is a good way to think about what has been important to your character. The reader wonders if the character will end up ‘finding’ those lost things. Or perhaps your character finds something valuable expectedly because of the search for the ‘lost things’. Why they are valuable and how the character came across them is interesting to readers as we gain insight into qualities of the character. The readers can connect with your character because they can appreciate his/her motivations and behaviour.

Write a list of things you have lost that were valuable to you. Freewrite about all of those things on your list.

Modelled response
My favourite t-shirt: I think my mum threw it out. It had a mighty big hole in the bottom of it. It was winter and I’d snuck the heater into my room, despite warnings from my mother against it. When I lent down to pick up something from the floor, the edge of it got caught in the spokes. I flapped about in a fright. I wasn’t concerned for my safety, but devastated that the flame was simmering the green fleece into black charcoal. A tried to cover up my deceit by sewing a leather patch over the hole that remained. Nobody was fooled, least of all my mother.

Characters in Your Life

2009-10-23T22:10:00.000-07:00

Activity: (This should take about 10 minutes to complete)

Write a list of the most influential people in your life. They could be your family, friends, community members or school teachers.

Imagine that person. Think about a time that symbolises what that person means to you.

Draw/ sketch/doodle/write notes about that person. Whatever you do, allow the memory of them to come into your mind.

When you are ready, write about that person and the memory of them that comes to mind.

Modelled response
My grandfather sat on the verandah, watching over his hoard of grandchildren who descended on his quiet lawn every summer. For years he had watched us with that half smile, frown that I had inherited from him.

The call had been made by my boisterous cousin, the one who with the wicked temper chased my brother up the street the day before for telling him he could not ride a bike to save himself. All the kids chased after the two of them, my brother being too quick, thankfully, avoiding another almighty display of roguery on the quiet suburban streets.

The call echoed through the house. I dropped my toast on the table, beside the plate, and raced to the front lawn to be the first on one of the two bikes. To the lake, the chanting grew as the momentum for the adventure sunk in. I roughly picked up the handle bars and while in motion, jumped onto the seat. I rode low on account of the youngest cousin being the last to use it. My knees pushed up beside my torso as I struggled to move past the letter box at the end of the concrete driveway.

I zig zagged my way out of the street across the neighbour’s front lawn, turning back to see my cousins flying out the front door, jumping over the verandah, crashing into the small garden my grandmother tended meticulously.

My grandfather laughed, elated by the excitement. My grandmother stood half way in between the creaky screen door, with a tea towel in one hand, calling out to leave her precious garden alone. More grandchildren rushed passed her following the same route as the last.

I out in front, peddled madly, turning constantly to ensure they had not made enough ground to catch up to me. I knew the drill, first to be immersed in the lake was the winner and everyone else was a rotten egg. Having been a rotten egg many times before, this was my chance.

By this stage I was out on my own, not a relative in sight. I arrived at the foot of the lake, swung the bike from under me, ripped of my smock and dived into the water.

When I came to, in front of me was a black swan, bobbing up and down in the water like a buoy, disturbed by my sudden entry into the water. Its rounded body glossed in the sunlight, an oily black of beauty and serenity. Above the mound of its belly a tiny patch of red baked in the sunlight.

The Joy Luck Club: Analytical Response Plan

2008-11-23T03:23:00.000-08:00

HSC-style question
You have been invited to write an article for a teenage magazine called Youth and Belonging.

In your article, analyse the ways in which belonging is represented in the texts you have studied.

Texts: The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan and 'Welcome Stranger' by Stephanie Dowrick

Introduction
A powerful sense of belonging is closely tied to the way in which people see themselves in their society. This is particularly the case for youth of today. ‘Youth and Belonging’ investigates how young people learn to belong in families and peer groups from their parents and the community they live in and the society they are a part of. The magazine considers how the relationships young people form with adults becomes important for their development of self esteem, self confidence and self awareness. The impact on youth of migration and mother daughter relationships in cross-cultural families is explored in Amy Tan’s ‘The Joy Luck Club’. Stephanie Dowrick’s opinion piece from the Good Weekend titled ‘Welcome Stranger’, argues that teaching our children to value ‘including’ others develops a sense of well being and strength of character.

First body paragraph
Topic sentence
As portrayed in the beginning of ‘Voices from the Wall’, Lena’s imagination as a young girl affects her perception of the world and her culture, preventing her from connecting with her Chinese heritage.

Main points
- Lena interprets what she is told about her family into horrible images of death and destruction, demonstrating her mistrust of her own culture.
- She perceives the beggar sentenced to death by her great-grandfather through images of pain and suffering.
- Lena thinks that it does matter to ‘know what is the worst possible thing that could happen to you’ as this is the only way to avoid its affect.
- The horrible things Lena’s sees with her Chinese eyes shows the difference between Chinese girls and Caucasian girls, saying that she saw things that they did not, emphasising her isolation from the dominant American culture.

Key quotes
‘Sword was cutting me down’, ‘cleaver to chop up his bones’
‘unspeakable terrors’ that ‘chased’ Lena’s mother
‘lightning striking down little children’, ‘squashing a beetle with the face of a child’,
‘dangerous monkey rings’, ‘tether balls splashing a girl’s head in front of laughing girls in a playground’
‘Knowing the worst possible thing that could happen to you’

Second body paragraph
Topic sentence
The composer illustrates through visual images of characters how perceptions of physical appearances can prevent meaningful belonging, especially for youth.

Main points
- Description of Lena’s appearance indicates her half Chinese and half Irish heritage - shows that she finds it difficult to belong to both cultures
- She identifies her eyes as being from her mother, with no eyelids, showing how she longed for rounder eyes, like other Caucasians.
- Lena compares her eyes to her mother’s in a photo taken on her wedding day.
- Lena’s mother is declared a Displaced Person, the authorities not knowing how to categorise her on her release from Angel Island Immigration Station as they did not have a category for Chinese wife of a Caucasian person.
- Her father innocently changes the identity of her mother, incorrectly writing her name and year of birth.
- The photo also shows her mother’s displacement through the wedding dress and Westernized jacket she is wearing.
- Father misinterprets Lena’s mother’s startled look in the photograph as being due to her confusion about the word ‘cheese’ said by her father when the photo was taken.
- Lena suggests that her mother continued to look ‘waiting for something to happen’, only later she lost the ‘struggle to keep her eyes open’.

Key quotes
‘smooth as beach pebbles’, ‘faded in the sun’

Third body paragraph
Topic sentence
The composer uses the word ‘includer’ to establish the significance of helping others, especially youth, to belong in situations that are foreign to them.

Main points
- That including others has a profound effect on an individual’s well being and self esteem.
- Going out of your way to include others is just as important as being included.
- Teaching our children to be conscious of including others affects the way they see the world as they grow up – as either friendly or hostile.
- Actively including others improves a person’s social and personal confidence

Key quotes
‘includer’
‘vital for our own emotional health’
‘child alone in the playground’, ‘school girl being exiled’
‘sharer at Pre School’
‘disastrously’, ‘hurtful power plays’
‘intrinsically self-centred’
‘Great for them. Great for ourselves’

Conclusion
‘Youth and Belonging’ addresses how perceptions of the world have a profound affect on the way a young person identifies themselves, other people and the society they live in. For young people these perceptions are formed in childhood and are often established through family members and other adults. ‘The Joy Luck Club’ explores the valuable role culture plays in determining an individual’s sense of self and self awareness. Through establishing the importance of ‘including’ others in ‘Welcome Stranger’, the composer educates the responder on the significance of making others feel safe, especially during childhood, in order to assist their sense of belonging and feeling of well being in society.

Body paragraphs
As portrayed in the beginning of Voices from the Wall, Lena’s imagination as a young girl affects her perception of the world and her culture, preventing her from connecting with her Chinese heritage. Lena understands what she is told about her Chinese family through horrific images of murder – ‘Sword was cutting me down’, ‘cleaver to chop up his bones’ - demonstrating her mistrust of her own culture. She has an overactive imagination; she sees the worst in things, something she gets from her mother. Her mother interprets her daughter’s morbid thoughts as representing American culture; the morbid aspects of the culture she does not understand, although they are shared with Chinese culture. Lena perceives the beggar sentenced to death by her great-grandfather through images of pain and suffering - in this case through death. Her understanding of belonging goes beyond living - even through death one cannot escape pain and a harrowing sense of belonging. Lena thinks that it does matter to ‘know what is the worst possible thing that could happen to you’ as this is the only way to avoid its affect. ‘Knowing the worst possible thing that could happen to you’ becomes a metaphor for how people separate themselves from their own spirit and from their society. She thinks that these unspeakable things are what eat away at people from the inside. It’s these types of secrets that found their way to the ‘dark corner’ of her mother’s mind. She associates these thoughts are ‘devouring’ her mother until she became a ghost. As a young girl, Lena connects these horrible events in her mother’s life to a separation from the self and culture, obscuring her comprehension of meaningful belonging.

The composer illustrates through visual images of characters how perceptions of physical appearances can prevent meaningful belonging, especially for youth. The description of Lena’s appearance indicates her half Chinese and half Irish heritage, highlighting the difficulty Lena experiences belonging to both cultures. The composer uses similes to describe Lena’s ‘smooth as beach pebbles’ cheeks and her ‘faded in the sun’ skin. Lena’s eyes are from her mother, with no eyelids, emphasising how she longed for rounder eyes, like other Caucasians. This is shown through a visual image of her pushing her eyes in on the sides attempting to look Caucasian, although she seemed odd as her father asked her why she looked scared. The comparison of a photo of Lena and her mother with the same startled look connects the mother and daughter. The visual image of the photo helps the responder to understand Lena’s mother’s struggle to belong as she was declared a Displaced Person. The authorities did not know how to categorise her on her release from Angel Island Immigration Station as they did not have a category for Chinese wife of a Caucasian person. The composer uses an anecdote from Lena’s father to show that her mother lost her tiger spirit. Her father innocently changes the identity of her mother, incorrectly writing her name and year of birth. Her mother lost her name and became a ‘dragon’ instead of a ‘tiger’. The dress her mother is wearing in the photo further develops her mother’s displacement. She is wearing a traditional Chinese dress, a wedding gift form Lena’s father, with a ‘Westernized suit jacket’ covering up her heritage. The jacket looks awkward on her ‘small body’. Lena interprets the image of her mother as showing that she was ‘neither coming from nor going to someplace,’ an unusual thought considering it was her wedding day. Lena’s father misinterprets Lena’s mother’s startled look in the photograph as being due to her confusion about the word ‘cheese’ said by her father when the photo was taken. Lena suggests that her mother continued to look like she was ‘waiting for something to happen’. Later her mother lost the ‘struggle to keep her eyes open’, giving up hope of belonging comfortably in her new environment.

The composer uses the word ‘includer’ to establish the significance of helping others, especially youth, to belong in situations that are foreign to them. She emphasises ‘vital’ in ‘vital for our own emotional health’ to demonstrate that a sense of belonging through feeling included by others has a positive impact on our emotional well being. The composer feels we spend more time worrying about how we could be left out rather than how we can include others. She uses emotive words such as ‘disastrously’, ‘hurtful power plays’ to show that shunning is often used to create a sense of belonging, but at the ‘expense of others’. The composer is critical of this form of belonging as she states that it is ‘intrinsically self-centred’ and demonstrates ‘grave misunderstanding of what personal power’ represents. The composer outlines through the ages how we can be includers – a sharer at preschool, adults looking out for a person, colleagues being sensitive to a newcomer. However establishing the importance of ‘including’ others in childhood can have a powerful affect on how people perceive the world in adulthood. Teaching our children to be conscious of including others affects the way they see the world as they grow up – as either friendly or hostile. Actively including others improves a person’s social and personal confidence. In addition, the composer develops the idea that including others is relevant to all of us through imagery of common ways people exclude others such as the ‘child alone in the playground’ and the ‘school girl being exiled’ in the playground. Developing a positive sense of belonging therefore begins at an early age.

Activity
If you have studied The Joy Luck Club, use the modelled response as a guide to write a plan for the next three body paragraphs. On a separate piece of paper, write the paragraphs in full, using your notes.

Fourth body paragraph
Topic sentence
Main points:
Key quotes:

Fifth body paragraph
Topic sentence
Main points:
Key quotes:

Sixth body paragraph
Topic sentence
Main points:
Key quotes:

Language Features of Analytical Responses

2008-11-23T03:17:00.000-08:00

Activity

Refer to a substantial piece of writing that answers a HSC style question about your prescribed text for the following activity.

Discuss the language features used in the example.
Discuss the effectiveness of the language features used in the example.
How could language features be improved to clarify meaning and relate to belonging?

Narrative mode
• Analytical responses are usually written in the third person as this is a formal form of writing. Third-person narrative allows the writer to objectively comment on the events in the texts being analysed. Third-person narrative is indicated by words such as it, he, she, their, etc.

• First-person narrative is used when you are invited to give a personal response, for example, in a speech or an opinion piece. First person is indicated by words such as me, us, I, we, ours, etc.

Example:
Effectiveness:

Sentence choice
• Use a variety of sentence types. Simple sentences are often used in more informal writing, like speeches and magazine articles, rather than essays. However, complex sentences are still appropriate for informal forms of writing.

Example:
Effectiveness:

• Complex sentences are sentences which contain a number of ideas in the one sentence. They have multiple clauses.

Example:
Effectiveness:

Word choice
• Use connecting words to link ideas between paragraphs.

Example:
Effectiveness:

Evaluative language
• Use evaluative language to strengthen the argument. Evaluative language is language that attributes value or worth to an idea or statement.

Example:
Effectiveness:

Nominalisation
• Try to change verbs into nouns to sound more objective. This is called nominalisation. For example, the verb ‘behave’ becomes the noun ‘behaviour’, ‘judge’ becomes the noun ‘judgment’, and so on.

Example:
Effectiveness:

Abstract nouns
• Use abstract nouns to explain things. An abstract nouns is the name of a quality, state or action

Example:
Effectiveness:

Noun groups
• Use detailed noun groups to provide information in a compact form. Noun groups expand or elaborate on a noun.

Example:
Effectiveness:

Clause combinations
• Use complex combinations of clauses as contrast. Conjunctions like although, because and while provide the link between ideas.

Example:
Effectiveness:

The Joy Luck Club: Key Scene Analysis

2008-11-23T03:11:00.000-08:00

To gain a better understanding of how language and visual techniques work together to create meaning, it is a good idea to analyse a few key scenes from the text.

Activity
Make notes about a key scene in The Joy Luck Club, taking into account:
• language or visual techniques
• examples of the techniques from the text
• analysis of how these examples relate to belonging.

Then write a full analysis of the scene and its techniques, and their relation to belonging.

An example of a scene has been included in the following modelled response. After you have read the modelled response, choose a different scene to analyse.

Modelled response
Key scene: LENA ST. CLAIR, beginning of ‘Voice from the Wall’

Techniques and examples:
- Horrific images of murder – ‘Sword was cutting me down’, ‘cleaver to chop up his bones’
- Personification of ‘unspeakable terrors’ that ‘chased’ Lena’s mother
- Storytelling of the evil man in the basement
- Metaphors of horrible things Lena’s sees with her ‘Chinese eyes’ - lightning striking down little children, she squashing a beetle with the face of a child, dangerous monkey rings, tether balls splashing a girl’s head in front of laughing girls in a playground.
- Similes describe Lena’s appearance - ‘smooth as beach pebbles’ cheeks and her ‘faded in the sun’ skin.
- Visual image of Lena pushing her eyes in on the sides shows her determination to look Caucasian.
- Anecdote of Lena’s father changing his wife’s name and identity from a tiger to a dragon to show that her mother lost her tiger spirit.

Analysis:
- The effect of the imagination on Lena’s perception of the world is portrayed in the beginning of ‘Voices from the Wall’.
- Lena interprets what she is told about her family into horrible images of death and destruction, demonstrating her mistrust of her own culture.
- She perceives the beggar sentenced to death by her great-grandfather through images of pain and suffering - prevents belonging.
- Lena thinks that it does matter to ‘know what is the worst possible thing that could happen to you’ as this is the only way to avoid its affect.
- Her mother tells her a tale through storytelling about the evil man who lives in the basement to protect her child.
- The horrible things Lena’s sees with her Chinese eyes shows the difference between Chinese girls and Caucasian girls, saying that she saw things that they did not, emphasizing her isolation from the dominant American culture.
-Description of Lena’s appearance indicates her half Chinese and half Irish heritage and that people would not immediately recognise her difference.
- She identifies her eyes as being from her mother, with no eyelids, showing how she longed for rounder eyes, like other Caucasians.
- Lena compares her eyes to her mother’s in a photo taken on her wedding day.
- Lena’s mother is declared a Displaced Person, the authorities not knowing how to categorise her on her release from Angel Island Immigration Station as they did not have a category for Chinese wife of a Caucasian person.
- Her father innocently changes the identity of her mother, incorrectly writing her name and year of birth.
- The photo also shows her mother’s displacement through the wedding dress and Westernized jacket she is wearing.
- Her father misinterprets Lena’s mother’s startled look in the photograph as being due to her confusion about the word ‘cheese’ said by her father when the photo was taken.
- Lena suggests that her mother continued to look ‘waiting for something to happen’, only later she lost the ‘struggle to keep her eyes open’.

Full analysis of how the techniques and examples represent belonging:
The effect of the imagination on Lena’s perception of the world is portrayed in the beginning of ‘Voices from the Wall’. Lena perceives what she is told about her Chinese family through horrific images of murder – ‘Sword was cutting me down’, ‘cleaver to chop up his bones’ - demonstrating her mistrust of her own culture. She has an overactive imagination; she sees the worst in things, something she gets from her mother. Her mother interprets her daughter’s morbid thoughts as representing American culture; the morbid aspects of the culture she does not understand, although they are shared with Chinese culture. Lena perceives the beggar sentenced to death by her great-grandfather through images of pain and suffering - in this case through death. Her understanding of belonging goes beyond living - even through death one cannot escape pain and a harrowing sense of belonging. Lena thinks that it does matter to ‘know what is the worst possible thing that could happen to you’ as this is the only way to avoid its affect. ‘Knowing the worst possible thing that could happen to you’ becomes a metaphor for how people separate themselves from their own spirit and from their society. She thinks that these unspeakable things are what eat away at people from the inside. It’s these types of secrets that found their way to the ‘dark corner’ of her mother’s mind. She associates these thoughts as ‘devouring’ her mother until she became a ghost. Horrible events in life separate us from our true selves and prevent us from belonging.

Lena’s curiosity leads her to the basement of her house in Oakland that she was forbidden to enter. When she eventually pries the door to the basement open and falls into a ‘deep chasm’, her mother tells her a tale. The storytelling about the evil man, who lives in the basement and does horrible things to little girls like plant babies in their bellies only to eat them and their mothers, whole frighten Lena and separate her from her culture. The composer uses visual imagery of ‘horrible things’ Lena sees with her ‘Chinese eyes’ - lightning striking down little children, she squashing a beetle with the face of a child - as a way of showing the difference between Chinese girls and Caucasian girls. Lena recognises that she saw things that they did not - dangerous monkey rings, tether balls splashing a girl’s head in front of laughing girls in a playground - emphasising her isolation from the dominant American culture. These are painful, but humiliating images, indicating Lena’s shame of her culture.

The composer illustrates through visual imagery how character’s perceptions of physical appearances can prevent meaningful belonging. The description of Lena’s appearance indicates her half Chinese and half Irish heritage, highlighting the difficulty Lena experiences belonging to both cultures. The composer uses similes to describe Lena’s ‘smooth as beach pebbles’ cheeks and her ‘faded in the sun’ skin. Lena’s eyes are from her mother, with no eyelids, emphasising how she longed for rounder eyes, like other Caucasians. This is shown through a visual image of her pushing her eyes in on the sides attempting to look Caucasian, although she seemed odd as her father asked her why she looked scared. The comparison of a photo of Lena and her mother with the same startled look connects the mother and daughter. The visual image of the photo helps the responder to understand Lena’s mother’s struggle to belong as she was declared a Displaced Person. The authorities did not know how to categorise her on her release from Angel Island Immigration Station as they did not have a category for Chinese wife of a Caucasian person. The composer uses an anecdote from Lena’s father to show that her mother lost her tiger spirit. Her father innocently changes the identity of her mother, incorrectly writing her name and year of birth. Her mother lost her name and became a ‘dragon’ instead of a ‘tiger’. The dress her mother is wearing in the photo further develops her mother’s displacement. She is wearing a traditional Chinese dress, a wedding gift form Lena’s father, with a ‘Westernized suit jacket’ covering up her heritage. The jacket looks awkward on her ‘small body’. Lena interprets the image of her mother as showing that she was ‘neither coming from nor going to someplace,’ an unusual thought considering it was her wedding day. Lena’s father misinterprets Lena’s mother’s startled look in the photograph as being due to her confusion about the word ‘cheese’ said by her father when the photo was taken. Lena suggests that her mother continued to look like she was ‘waiting for something to happen’. Later, Lena realises, her mother lost the ‘struggle to keep her eyes open’, giving up hope of belonging comfortably in her new environment.

Creative Writing: Developing an Event

2008-11-23T03:06:00.000-08:00

An event in a story refers to a significant incident that involves characters, setting, and usually tension or a turning point. Events are also called scenes or incidents. Events are important because they allow the reader to visualize what is happening to your characters.

Activity: (This should take about 10 minutes to complete)
Write an event involving a character you have written about or a character that is in your mind that you would like to develop further.

Modelled response
The mornings are flippant, so my mother told me. The way I hung my head upside down over the edge of the bed and dangled my arms from side to side when I was suppose to be getting dressed for the day ahead. How my mother washed in the bucket, scrubbing vigorously the ginger soap up her arms, under her arm pits. The water splashing out suspended in the air before zooming into the rough mat that signified the washroom. Her skin shiny and sore, like a burn after months of healing. How my brother flew his imaginary airplane along the sparse furniture that occupied the single room in our cottage, leaping and bounding through the space, knocking the richotty chair that he caught with his spare hand just before it hit the ground. He held the airplane in one hand and chair in the other, still in anticipation.

‘Billy,’ my mother shouted. ‘How many times do I have to tell you?’

She rose from her squatting position and put her wet hands on her hips, the liquid dripped down her bare legs. She stood there till my brother delicately returned the chair upright, patting it a little, smiling nervously at the wall, avoiding my mother’s eyes.

‘Go and get dressed, both of you.’ Her hands flung the air about as she sighed.

My favourite dress was neatly laid out on the crocheted rug of red my grandmother hand made when I was born. When I wore it I rubbed the lace at the trim so purposefully, that holes like moth bites had grown over the years. Bits of lace hung down to the ground, I refusing to tear them off even though I tripped often. My brother was already dressed. Always before me. He placed his rucksack on his back and moved toward the front door open to the wilderness.

My mother wrapped a shawl around her body and moved about the cottage, tidying up evidence of breakfast. ‘Late for work again,’ she said. ‘To the door, Rose.’

My mother helped me put the rucksack on my back and tapped me on the bottom toward the door. I joined my brother, facing my mother who leaned down in front of us. She cupped our chins with the palms of her hands and squeezed tenderly.

‘To your father's now,’ she said. I followed her gaze to my brother’s face as she intensified her hold on his chin. ‘No going off the path, do you hear?’

My brother’s head bobbed up and down in her palm. My mother satisfied stood up as we turned to the path leading from the door to the edge of the forest. I heard her good bye as we ran down the path with our bags jiggling on our backs.

Creative Writing: Characterisation

2008-11-06T03:43:00.000-08:00

Developing character

Activity: (This should take about 10 minutes to complete)
1. One way of developing character is to freewrite about your character based on either chosen or given headings. These headings can inspire a history of your character. This activity is a good way to get to know the character that rests in your mind. Your short writing pieces can be used in a larger piece of writing or they can inform your character’s reactions to and attitudes about certain things that happen in the story.

2. You could also rewrite this activity into a journal. To do this, change the narrative to first person and see what happens.

Modelled response
My character is a man from the forest in a sort of fairytale like setting. When I was writing about this character, I was thinking about the woodchopper in ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ and the old woman from the confectionary house in ‘Hansel and Gretel’. These heading just popped into my head and I began to freewrite about them, without judging my writing or my thoughts.

The cauldron
He brought the cauldron from a local shepherd. It took several attempts to move the cauldron to his cottage. Carrying it with his bare hands was impossible, even cushioning the bottom with linen towels did not work. Pushing it like a boulder up a hill killed his back, and so he made a sort of pulley on wheels, much like the Egyptians used to move stone blocks from the quarry to the pyramid.

Teeth
The old man’s teeth where in good condition despite the amount of sweets he’d consumed over the years and the terrible state of the medical system. As a baby, his mother fed him honey when he refused to suckle from her boob as a way of soothing his relentless screeching. His sweet tooth grew from there into a thriving confectionary business. Today he preferred the organic ingredients from the forest surrounding his cottage, although he imported sugar cane from the far north. He worked alone these days, squeezing the sugar cane meticulously, preserving the taste and texture.

Failed recipes
For the old man, a deviation from his mother’s recipes for delicate sweets was a bruise to the ego so large that he would remain in his bed chamber for days. Once his attention was drawn temporarily away from the melting of the sugar cane by a swallow tapping on the door. The slight disruption allowed the syrup to burn slightly. Although you or I would not be able to tell, the smell of burnt toffee lingered in his subconscious for days to come.

Changed from a story to a journal
The cauldron The other day I brought the cauldron from a local shepherd. It took me several attempts to move the cauldron to my cottage. Carrying it with my bare hands was impossible, even cushioning the bottom with linen towels did not work. Pushing it like a boulder up a hill killed my back, and so I made a sort of pulley on wheels, much like the Egyptians used to move stone blocks from the quarry to the pyramid.

Unseen texts: 'Drifters' & 'Welcome Stranger'

2008-11-06T03:31:00.000-08:00

Sample HSC Exam Questions for Section 1

Text 1: Poem - ‘Drifters’ by Bruce Dawe (see link on right)

a i Discuss the problems conveyed by the composer about belonging in the text. (2 marks)

ii How has the composer used language techniques to express an attitude to belonging?
(3 marks)

Possible answers
a i
· The family is unable to establish roots because they keep moving house/communities.

· Some people in the family like moving from place to place, but others don’t (the kids are
‘wildly exited’ and the oldest girl is ‘close to tears’).

· The mother has abandoned control of where the family is headed.

ii
· Belonging to a place is closely tied to belonging in a family. All people in this family are affected by the father’s decision to relocate. To belong in this family, movement is necessary, despite individual wishes.

· Family members often have to compromise or sacrifice what they want in order to belong in their family. Some members wish to establish a permanent sense of place and others don’t. This is demonstrated through the juxtaposition of the differing perceptions of moving based on how they belonged in the place they were living – the oldest girl is on the verge of tears and the youngest girl is ‘beaming’. This is also shown in the mother’s acceptance of her ‘drifter’ lifestyle through the image of the ‘bottling-set / she never unpacked from Grovedale’.

· A lack of permanent place to live can provide for a spontaneous lifestyle – anything can happen. This is shown through the repetitive dialogue from the mother, ‘Make a wish, Tom, make a wish.’ The spontaneity of the lifestyle and the excitement caused by the announcement that they will be moving on is shown through the unusual ending of certain lines – ‘…tripping / everyone up’ and ‘…she was / happy here’. The position of the lines echoes the exited movement of the dog, getting in the way of the family packing.

Text 2: Newspaper article: ‘Welcome Stranger’ by Stephanie Dowrick (see link on right)

b i What comment is the composer making about including others in this newspaper article?
(2 marks)

ii Choose two language techniques and explain the way it supports an idea about belonging expressed in the writing. (3 marks)

Possible answers
b i
· That including others has a profound effect on an individual’s well being and self esteem.

· Going out of your way to include others is just as important as being included.

· Teaching our children to be conscious of including others affects the way they see the world as they grow up – as either friendly or hostile.

· Actively including others improves a person’s social and personal confidence.

ii
· The composer uses the word ‘includer’ to establish the significance of helping others to belong in situations that are foreign to them.

· The composer develops the idea that including others is relevant to all of us through imagery of common ways people exclude others such as the ''child alone in the playground’ and the ‘school girl being exiled’ in the playground. She compares this image to the ‘sharer at Pre School’ to illustrate the difference between feeling included and feeling excluded.

· Repetition of ‘great’ in ‘Great for them. Great for ourselves’ represents the effects of including others.

· The composer associates an ‘easy sense of belonging’ to feeling ‘safe’, both on the inside and the outside - in our thoughts of our behaviour and of ourselves.

Text 1 and 2: Poem and newspaper article

c Analyse how ONE text emphasises the effects of belonging on the individual’s understanding of the world. (5 marks)

Modelled response
The composer uses the word ‘includer’ to establish the significance of helping others to belong in situations that are foreign to them. She emphasises ‘vital’ in ‘vital for our own emotional health’ to demonstrate that a sense of belonging through feeling included by others has a positive impact on our emotional well being. She outlines through the ages how we can be includers – a sharer at preschool, adults looking out for a person, colleagues being sensitive to a newcomer. The composer develops the idea that including others is relevant to all of us through imagery of common ways people exclude others such as the ''child alone in the playground’ and the ‘school girl being exiled’ in the playground. She compares this image to the ‘sharer at Pre School’ to illustrate the difference between feeling excluded and feeling included. The composer feels we spend more time worrying about how we could be left out rather than how we can include others. She uses emotive words such as ‘disastrously’, ‘hurtful power plays’ to show that shunning is often used to create a sense of belonging, but at the ‘expense of others’. The composer is critical of this form of belonging as she states that it is ‘intrinsically self-centred’ and demonstrates ‘grave misunderstanding of what personal power’ represents. The deeper impact of excluding others is that it is founded on fear and extreme discomfort. The composer suggests that being real about our insecurities can lead to a greater sense of empathy for those who feel a similar way in situations where we easily belong. Repetition of ‘great’ in ‘Great for them. Great for ourselves’ represents the effects of including others. The composer associates an ‘easy sense of belonging’ to feeling ‘safe’, both on the inside and the outside - in our thoughts of our behaviour and of ourselves.

Creative writing: Playing with Language

2008-10-16T02:58:00.000-07:00

Playing with language

Word/phrase association
Playing with language is a good way to develop ideas for writing creative pieces. The idea is to allow your subconscious to go with the flow of the ideas and thoughts that come to your mind. Try not to judge the words and phrases that come, just let the words appear on the page. The following activity can be useful in developing particular ideas or phrases or concepts that stand out to you. You can use these ideas in creative pieces you are already working on, or perhaps these ideas could turn into something greater. Whatever you choose, have fun playing with language and meaning.

Activity: (This should take about 4 minutes to complete)
1. I have chosen a number of phrases for this activity, but any phrase can be used. Begin with the first phrase and then after one minute continue your writing with the second phrase and so on until all the phrases have been included in your writing piece. Don’t worry about punctuation, spelling or grammar. Just write.

First phrase – ‘Along the river’ – write for one minute, then write the
second phrase – ‘I remember when’ – write for a further one minute, then write the
third phrase – ‘he had changed so much’ – write for a further one minute, the write the
fourth phrase – ‘in her imagination’ – write for the last minute. Stop writing.

2. Underline some of the phrases, ideas, concepts you particularly like. Try to use these in other pieces of writing you have already written or in future pieces of writing. Perhaps your thoughts may inspire a greater piece.

Modelled response
Along the river shop plants float freeing commotion peaceful orangutan, guided leaf flower frosted gamete gloat greedily car crash dreamed frosted orange petal camera cox carrot juice flow degrade furrow tunnel under ground sleep slumbering safe caress quake Carly name hat goat company titled fellow goat foot flow foreign come said the forest ground to a harrowing hollow empty wholeness forming happy walk groan I remember when the dog died Benny howled hell core quavering she crawled sheepishly next to the body, shy rice dad on the brink fell hole well rise your neck up in to the emptiness of solitude door handle window pain rain dripping, sliding down the glass like a snot she was the most unusual girl in the class styling fingertips were rested on the bottom of the foliage forever fun to be home in the snow cool touch great hair for hole deep welling in the socket of her checks mouth rich ruby raw crouch up float waft like incense burning coming down slipping hole fear following tripping toes slow frown grove to the gate growing sliding open pulling out he had changed so much at the airport gliding out of his body standing beside the postman checking for ants on the envelopes sleeping awake to the torrent gushing out there where grace learns to sew her dowry of brilliant silk into a blanket for her daughter or her monkey friend since birth in her imagination keeping faith and restoring hope for the beauty of the ka they laughed from their bellies fulling up on the fruit of the nectar life subtle force nudging on the bear who kissed the ranger on the head just like that and ate his breakfast he was hungry after sleeping furrowed in the cave.

The Simple Gift: Key Scene Analysis

2008-10-16T02:52:00.000-07:00