Years ago, I walked into my office one morning to find a Craig’s List posting sitting on my desk.  A reality show called “How to Get the Guy” was going to be filmed in San Francisco, where I live, and they were looking for women to cast.

Mark, the colleague that was behind this, was so happy in his partnership with ‘Bill’ for over 20 years.  He really wanted to see me get hitched and have babies, always stopping by and asking me about my relationship status (bless his heart), and racking his brain on who he could possibly to set me up with.

So I listen politely to his prodding, and then sit alone and stare at the sheet of paper.  I begin to alternate between shock and awe.  Shock says: ‘Nah…how could you EVEN? Reality TV – yikes! And you’re WAY too afraid of the spotlight and of exposing yourself – you despise sending those company-wide brag emails that they make you do (which was painfully true – funny, huh?)!’  Awe says, or rather sings, ‘Oooh…Fun and daring! New! Exciting! Out-there! Yes….’ 

A Cheshire- like- smile broadens across my beating heart, and thankfully, the Awe voice wins out.  I make a simple submission to the ad right then and there, answering why I’d be great for their show:

“I have a life filled with great people but I haven’t found the right man yet, and I am ready!

I’m 34, working in marketing and sales. I would be great for the show because I always bring enthusiasm to what I’m doing, and I’m a genuine, likeable and determined person.

I’d love to meet with you -

Leslie”

What resulted was a series of in-person meetings with the show’s producers.  And each meeting left my heart beating! And I’d be lying to you (and myself ) if I said it was soley because I was showing the Universe that I was serious about creating love in my life, and courageous enough to try something so out of my comfort zone, although this was largely, and ultimately, true.

But let’s keep it real.  There was also a little (or a lot) of seduction going on in each meeting: this Hollywood-like production of interviews with cameras, my own personal assistant for the day as I complete psych screenings and blood tests, and so on…let’s just say, it was easy to sit back and nap once I stepped on this train!

Well, I woke up and knew my exit when ,once in the final round, I learn that the crux of the show was not what I thought it was (following my life and how I met men & dated) - but rather -  manipulating how I would meet men & date them (the show of course maintaining total control).  Surprise! (not) So reality finally sets in with me, and I decline. 

Flash-forward a year, and I watch a few episodes with Larry, who I was then dating (and living with).  I reflect, knowing that having taken that little adventure with myself and the show, I had grown and changed (and was glad that I had followed my heart to both pursue, and decline). This process,  along with specific  steps that I took and teach women in my 7-step system, had contributed to me connecting with Larry (my husband), and perhaps most importantly, helped shape who I was evolving into: a woman who was excited about…herself!

I’m sharing this story with you (thanks for staying with me if you still are) because I want to communicate what I help clients to come to know and experience for themselves (and what I continue to learn in my own evolution):

• We transform our experiences and results in life by taking new actions – and the steps that frighten you, and make those that believe they know you well say, ‘Really? You what…?’ – they will be the jewels in your crown.
• When you have someone holding the space for your potential – for you to continue to step out and step up - you will.  If you don’t, you probably won’t. Most people don’t, and it costs them their happiness, health and success, because most people you meet are complaining about life. Mark my colleague was the catalyst in this story, but what I didn’t share earlier was that I had signed on with my first coach the month befor. I felt different as a result. I felt daring. I felt a gaze on my potential, and that activated new initiative within me.

And every time I get that Cheshire -like-smile across my heart I know that I’m on to something!

To your love,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

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Did you catch Thursday’s Oprah show last week?  Be sure to watch it. The first segment has Patti, the “Millionaire Matchmaker” partner up with Nate Berkus to help a 41-year old woman who’s in search of a man. 

It’s a great segment, including one huge simple GEM from Patti, which I’ll share in a second, but be sure to watch the rest of the show, too (warning:  it will have you reaching for Kleenex and blessing all that you have in your life right now, while feeling so inspired).

So, even if you’re averse to Patti’s 20-girls-to-one-’rich’-guy matchmaking show that’s been on for years now, she gives very solid advice as to what guys and gals need as they navigate the love & relationship scene, such as, ’Men first fall into attraction with their eyes, women with what they hear between their ears’. 

Here’s the GEM that Patti gave to Oprah about what most stands in a woman’s way that I absolutely agree with : BELIEF.    Patti hit it on the head in reminding women that he IS indeed out there, something that I spend some time on with private clients and students who want love and relationship.  You have to believe, do whatever it takes to believe (we’ll ge to that in just a sec), keep believing, and never stop. 

Most-to-all women that seek me out professionally, or that I meet and talk with admit that they lack BELIEF:  that he’s even out there, that a happy and healthy relationship is possible for them, that they haven’t missed their boat.

On February 15th, the day after Valentine’s Day, you can step into an experience that will transform the results you’re experiencing in dating and love.   This 8 week tele-program, ” Find YOUR Mr. Right: 7 steps to attracting the love and relationship that you desire!” will transform the way you approach &  find love this year - because it will transform you.  If you haven’t had the BELIEF that you need, this is just one of the many essential things you’ll transform with my step-by-step, 8-class coaching program.  Learn more HERE.

Here’s to finding YOUR true love ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Like what you read? Get more authentic dating, love and relationship tips by signing up for my newsletter. It’s totally free. Check it out HERE.

If you’re a woman who’s looking to meet YOUR Mr. Right in 2010, ask yourself a very important question:  Who do I receive my dating & relationship advice from?  

You might realize that you spend a lot or all of your time discussing your dreams, complaints, and dramas with your other single friends who also tend to worry, complain and see the single ‘landscape’ in the same way you do. This can be both comforting and confusing - and frustrating. I know because my clients point to this fact a lot.  We love our friends - and when we’re in a tribe together, facing the same issues and hopes together, there can be a lot of comfort and companionship.  And, sometimes , it can become a soup of  frequent negativity, sublte sabotage, numbing-out and truth-negating.

The ultimate truth of who to date, who to let go of, how to recover your sense of optimism and positive expectancy, how to uncover your dreams and desires and grow them, how to effortlessly attract in a new way, how to navigate the dating and relationship waters with ease, elegance and a lot more fun…..all of these become much more quickly revealed to you when you invest in and apply teachings, advice and guidance from someone who’s both been in your shoes, and is also walking their talk now. Why take relationship advice from someone who’s been chronically unhappy and dissatisfied (we all have our moments, but you know who I’m talking about) and/or never before experienced a healthy relationship? 

Just this weekend a super smart, attractive,  and self-defacatingly funny woman mentioned at a group dinner to me how a guy she recently met randomly texted her something  super non-challant and lame like , ‘Hey chic-ita, whatch you doin?’. I may be married now, but I was dating when texting was becoming the new way to communicate, and I was turned off by any guy who didn’t have the class or cahoneys to pick up the phone and dial my number - especially straight out the gates. We teach people how to treat us (largely by our response to their actions), so if you feel a little (or a lot) deflated by the guy who jumps straight into text messaging only - act on your truth.  Ignore the text altogether  if you trust your often correct ‘NO, thanks’ - and if you want to check things out more because he seemed great in-person, simply text him back letting him know you prefer a gentlemanly phone call , with a little winky smiley face (especially if you know your weakness is succumbing a little too soon to someone who is likely to be unworthy of your beautiful self).

See, we grow accustomed to our environments, and we become them. In this case, we get use to the text culture, and we start off a relationship with a bare minimum of communication and courtship.  Then we don’t experience what we so desire - we don’t get the results we seek - and we wonder what we need to do differently.   When this woman shared this little story, a few of the guys at the table were  gulping a  little about my hand up to this text, but they knew what was true: when a man really likes a woman, he wants to impress her, and will likely call or email her rather than lobb off a six word text re-introducing himself.  And if he’s a good guy, if you ever so faintly need to ’slap his hand’, in this case giving him a chance to start over with you by letting them know this kinda approach ain’t cutting it, he’ll quickly course-correct and receive your request with openness and …refreshment.

Who’s giving you your relationship advice?  I know you want to be courted and to feel attractive and appreciated - and adored. Don’t settle for what your heart knows isn’t quite cutting the mustard.  Only seek guidance, advice  and teaching from those that have both been in your shoes before, and are now where you want to be. 

Want to jump-start in a BIG way in your love life in 2010 - and receive an over-haul in your dating and relationship results? I have a special invitation offer for an in-depth private day with me - feel incredibly clear, prepared, excited, refreshed and made-over after this Love Life Breakthrough Day.  I’ll walk you through the 7 step process I’ve designed based on my personal relationship evolution and all of my coaching and client experience. January 12th - tomorrow - is the last day to reserve YOUR PRIVATE RETREAT with me.   Learn more HERE on how to transform yourself - inside and out - to get new results and to receive the relationship that’s waiting for you!

To your love,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Like what you read? Get more authentic dating, love and relationship tips by signing up for my newsletter. It’s totally free. Check it out HERE.

Recently, I sent a special offer to my list where I wrote about a particular Holiday Relationship Blues experience of my own that marked a turning point for me to doing love & dating differently.  (Read my story & see my special invitation for a Love Life Breakthrough Day with me,  HERE).

Many women wrote to me, letting me know how much they appreciated my story.  It seemed to really hit a nerve as some are struggeling this holiday season with their single ’status’.

If this is you too, I totally understand.  Whether I was absolutely without a date in sight, or I was dating ‘John’ AND realizing that ‘it’ (us) wasn’t seemingly solid enough to justify ANOTHER family introduction over eggnog - the holidays always underscored the fact that I wasn’t living in true love and experiencing the healthy relationship that I so deeply longed for. 

It was only after I took the very steps that I teach my private clients and women who participate in my programs (I’ve designed a 7 step system based on all that I’ve studied, learned and put to practice in my own & other women’s dating lives) that everything changed.  Dating and relating became way more easy and fun , and I relaxed into so much more confidence and enjoyment with the whole process - being single - and with my entire life!  Quickly, I met my honey and now husband.

If you’re dreading being single at the holidays this season, I hope you find solace in two things:  1) you won’t be feeling this way forever (especially if you take new actions), and 2) there is a solution to jump-starting your love life and feeling the polar opposite of dread with your single status.  I’m here to help you do just that.  Do you need  a ‘make-over’ in your love life? Find out more HERE.

Here’s to finding true love in 2010!

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com 

Like what you read? Get more authentic dating, love and relationship tips by signing up for my newsletter. It’s totally free. Check it out: http://www.belovesavvy.com/articles.htm.

This holiday, I’ll be visiting my family in the East Bay with my husband Larry, and then Christmas morning we’ll do stockings (love stockings!) & have brunch with friends before heading to ice skate – a fun new tradition of ours – at the outdoor rink in downtown SF.

But it wasn’t always this way.

It wasn’t that long ago that I was really struggling in dating & relationships.

I can remember one particular Christmas I rushed from celebrations with my family to hurry back to the city to meet up with my then boyfriend. We were going to have a special lunch and gift-exchange.  I handed him 5 gifts to his one for me, after which he scooted out to quickly deliver gifts to some friends visiting from out-of-town, without so much as an invitation to join him. 

I sat on his couch, fighting back tears as I waited for him to return, feeling so pathetic. I longed to be in a relationship where I didn’t have to fight for adoration, respect – or introductions on Christmas Day.

Sadly, it took me well over 6 more months before I finally decided I’d had enough of that. One day I summoned up the courage to stop the endless cycle of disappointing relationships and start doing things differently.

I started by reading a gazillion relationship books, going to seminars and let me tell you, weeding out all the fluff wasn’t easy. But in time I did find the gems and started getting better results in my love life. Most importantly I finally began to understand that dating & relationships could be so much more than what I’d ever believed to be possible.
 
Soon I began to experience an entirely new love life full of ease, fun, and a feeling of being much more in-control. Not long after my new mindset and improved self-confidence, I met the love of my life and now husband, Larry.

I’m sharing this with you because I don’t think it needs to take YOU that long.  In fact, you do not have to read a gazillion relationship books or go to countless seminars (I’ve done it for you!). Nor do you need to spend years trying to figure out why you haven’t found Mr. Right.

I have designed my own 7 step system for finding true love based on all of my experience and the simple, authentic dating strategies that empower you.

As a Love and Relationship Coach, I help women who are ready for a fulfilling relationship find true love. I work exclusively with women who are ready to do things differently and get better results in their dating and love life. I help them make better choices in men (no more repeating the same patterns!), date with confidence and fun, and how to ultimately find true love.

But many women come to me wanting big results fast, yet don’t have the time or financial resources to engage in working with me for months.  And working with me in a group setting doesn’t give them the personalization or jump start that they want and need.

In light of this, and in remembering my own past Holiday Relationship Blues, I would like to invite you to experience a big Breakthrough in your dating & love life.  I’d like to personally teach you the steps that I took, once I decided I was ready for true love. 

Introducing… Love Life Breakthrough Day.

What I’m offering is an entire day devoted to getting brand-new, life-changing real results in your dating & love life.  This will be a private, personalized Jumpstart program to improve what you’re currently experiencing in your love life.

What’s possible in your Breakthrough Day is…

• Your True Love Road Map.  This unique Road Map will help you easily recognize who to date, who to avoid, who and what to let go of, and what you truly need and want in relationship. It will serve as the foundation for all your love life decisions.

• A Personalized Dating Assessment – I’ll help you figure out if you’re presenting yourself in the best possible way (online and offline), what isn’t working for you and what to do about it, and how to experience feeling attractive, open, and confident as you navigate the world of dating. (Whether you’re newly divorced and ready to get back into the game or been at it for awhile without great results.)

• A Magnetize Your Image Mini-Makeover -  We’ll look at your overall style & image, including the colors you wear and favorite go-to dating/social outfits AND transform you into feeling and being more uniquely beautiful, attractive and desirous not only to yourself, but to YOUR Mr. Right.

• Private, In-Person Love Life Coaching with Me – This entire day will be devoted to clearing the blocks to letting love into your life, you will be much more clear, confident & truly prepared for your true love to come in to your life, quickly & effortlessly.

• Special Lunch Dining Out - I’ll take you to one of my favorite gourmet restaurants for lunch, where you can choose to receive personalized coaching and dating insights on how to dine and date with confidence, style and authenticity.

• A fabulous goodie bag of my favorite love and relationship magnetizing tools, valuable gifts & resources that I only share with my private clients.

• Two follow-up Love Life Coaching Sessions, scheduled within 30 days of our work together to ensure your progress and provide the accountability that you want.

I have a maximum of three Love Life Breakthrough Days open in January, and I have so much fun planned for you because I absolutely love to dive-in and create amazing, big and FUN change in women’s love lives.

Doing this Breakthrough Day will require you to get a little out of your comfort zone in the best possible way in order to get new results. Yet you’ll feel like you’re hanging out with one of your best, wisest girlfriends while experiencing a very, very productive day.

The investment for this packaged session is $997.00 if you sign up within the next 30 days. You can choose between making one payment in full, or a convenient two-payment option. Either way, the full investment in your love life is due before your scheduled Breakthrough Day.

If you’d like to have a session with me to learn more, discuss what’s going on in your love life and find out if this is right for you – before saying yes – I absolutely understand. 

So here’s what I suggest: Click here to book an intro session with me for only $87.  You will automatically receive access to my online schedule to immediately choose a time that works for you. This is also my way of making sure I can be of help to you. While I sent this offer to everyone on my list, I can’t possibly accept everyone. Just like you, I like to be sure that my clients are a good fit for me and for them

And if you decide to move forward and experience the Love Life Breakthrough Day with me, you can apply your session investment to the payment option you choose, so it’s truly a win-win for you. 

Ready to get started?  Click here to book your Love Life Breakthrough Day. 

Here’s to finding true love in 2010 (if not sooner!),

Leslie

PS – I realize some of you may want to skip the intro session and book your Love Life Breakthrough Day right away. That’s no problem. Just book the session here and leave me a note that you’re ready for the breakthrough right away and I’ll move you to the front of the queue. Here’s that link again.  

 www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Love & Relationship Coach

On the road to attracting your beloved - boyfriend, partner, or husband – there’s a process of shedding.  Sometimes it’s an organic process of conscious elimination of what we already know to be true based on past experience.  For example, in my twenties I seemed to find myself in relationships with men that I somehow ended up needing to fix or control.  They seemed to be a few steps ‘behind’ me in life, in a literal sense.  As I entered my late twenties and early thirties, I was very conscious of desiring a relationship where I felt more challenged and ‘called forth’ to be a bigger and better person by my partner.  

Sometimes we are not aware of what needs to be shed from our life in order to attract in what we desire, in this case, YOUR Mr. Right.  This is one reason why working with a mentor or coach pays incredible dividends.  Many clients have these incredible ‘Ah-ha!’s with me when we dive in, because we look at other areas of their life where there are less-than  desired results, or struggle, and we identify common denominators that require attention – and  change. They’re often very surprised that things are as connected as they are.  Shedding is being called – and it’s often not directly related with what is perceived to be related to love, dating, and relating.   As soon as something is eliminated – a behavior, a belief, a person, an attachment – room opens up for NEW - aliveness, good energy, growth – relationship.

As you desire YOUR Mr. Right, become more and more curious about what may need to shed within you, or within your life.  The most important step in this process is to take action despite whatever fears or doubts come up.  The Universe responds to action, and OFTEN it’s the actions that are not easily SEEN, but will be FELT and known by YOU (eliminating a limiting belief, a change in how you feel internally, etc.) that are the wham, shazam!..actions that change your life.

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

I’m talking with many women who are looking for their Mr. Right.  One thing that I notice that’s in their way - in a BIG way - is that they are lacking BELIEF. 

Now, don’t be fooled by the simplicity here.  Yes, we hear these beliefs all the time. We all hear from people that we talk to and know in our lives (even if you don’t specialize in this area like I do)  that ‘it’s hard out there’….’relationships don’t last’….’it’s not possible to focus on my career AND be in a healthy, vibrant relationship’….’being single over X age takes WORK’….ETC.  

These are all BELIEFS.   And a belief is simply a thought that has been repetitive enough within someones mind and being that it has been more permanently ‘grooved’ into a belief, like a woodworker carves grooves design into a piece of work, with stroke after stroke of their knife.

What’s essential is to realize that :

1) You are always at CHOICE with what you BELIEVE to be true.

2) Doing everything that it takes to re-create & live into BELIEFS  that support what you DESIRE in your life is non-negotiable.  It’s a MUST.

The truth is, you will continually meet resistance when you have a conflict between something you DESIRE, and the BELIEFS that you hold relating to that desire.   This area of life, love and relationships, works just like health, wealth, or beauty.  If you desire to make a million dollars, yet you don’t truly believe that it’s possible for YOU, you will struggle, and meet resistance, and have a hell of a time attracting that million dollars into your life.   If you desire to feel truly beautiful, but you don’t believe that you are beautiful, you won’t feel, embody nor exude your beauty.

My work with clients involves having them look at themselves and what they are doing , surrounding themselves with, focusing on, etc to support the CHANGE  that they want in their life. This involves detoxing and re-creating their  BELIEFS.   Sure, they can take the right ‘actions’ : date online to meet new men, extend themselves socially as much as possible, up-level their look to feel new and attractive, and truly let go of their past.  BUT, if they are doing all of these things yet they DON”T believe it’s really gonna happen - it’s not going to - at least not as effortlessly as they wish it would.  It may start and stop, or rev up and then burn out quickly, but they will continue to struggle in this area and have a much slower & difficult time meeting their guy.

And let this inspire you, because the really cool thing is that this is a key that unlocks so much.   So, it’s time for a little tough-love ladies, from me to you.   I want you to have an amazing time in this experience of growth and change as you attract YOUR Mr. Right.   So, take inventory of what you are investing in all the time- what  beliefs you are holding. 

And if you’re local to SF, I’m hosting a FREE talk on Navigating the Holidays as you find YOUR Mr. Right, Sunday evening 12/6.   Save a seat, and relax as you experience a focused hour on why it’s so important to believe, and to feel MAGNETIC - especially this magical holiday season.  I can’t wait!  RSVP by clicking HERE.  

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Let’s be grateful for what is and what matters most to us,  as we enter the holidays and soon say hello to 2010.

I’ll go first by sharing that I am so grateful for:

YOU, for the opportunity to connect with you in this way.

My health and Being: body, mind, spirit, and soul.  

My clients, and all the women who trust - and have trusted - me in guiding them to find their true love.  

All the brilliance, beauty and opportunity that exist on the planet in my lifetime.

My friends and family for their love and support,  and for being who they are in my life (or were), and teaching me what I most need to learn, sometimes to my great dis-comfort! 

The expansiveness and shiny-new experiences that emerge on the other side of the above dis-comfort!

And I’m grateful  - more with each passing day - to my husband Larry for being more than I could have ever imagined as a friend and husband - and teacher.  Last Thanksgiving we did not spend  together (that’s for another blog post or maybe even a book!).  I’m learning so much about myself and about life being in this relationship.  It’s both life-giving and humbling.

All the people that have paved the road for me and you, including my beloved mom who passed away 15 years ago.  I love you Mom, and miss you. 

And as I end this blog, I look inside the book cover of a book I read in the mid-9o’s after my mother passed, that her sister, my Aunt Margo, sent to me “Simple Abundance”, by Sarah Ban Breathnach.  This is syncronistic.  I read on this inside cover what I  know I am to share with you, a prayer that I learned from an Oprah show back then that John Gray shared with the audience, and that helped me to connect to my higher self, to the Universe and to more abundance.

“Oh glorious future, come sit in my heart.  My heart is open to you.

Oh glorious G*d, come sit in my heart.  My heart is open to you.”

Happy Thanksgiving from me to you ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

If you’re on my newsletter list (you can receive it subscribing here: www.BeLoveSavvy.com/articles.htm) , you read that a few weeks ago I attended Ali Brown’s SHINE event in Las Vegas.  This was a group of 500+ entrepreneurs - mostly women - all gathered in one ballroom for 3 full days of inspiration, teaching, and networking.  

With my recent ‘Find YOUR MR. Right Breakthrough Session’ promo, I’ve been meeting even more women ready for LOVE.  New love. Different love. They’re ready for a road they haven’t been down before.  As I’ve been consulting with these great women, I’ve been reminded of my biggest learning’s at SHINE.  Who knew?  Love & Entrepreneurship have a lot in common.

* ** Make Decisions based on where you want to be, not where you are (or where you’ve been). 

This is a biggie.  Entrepreneurs become afraid to invest more at times.  They’re looking at what’s worked so far.  Women seeking love are the same.  Many women are looking at their track record, their hurts, or their current status - and making decisions from that place, rather than based on their Vision.

*** If you are being your authentic self, you really can’t have competition.

Yeeessss.  This one is SO important ladies. I hear clients talk about comparison all the time, and as women, we all do this - I believe more than men.  If I sat and compared myself to other experts in my field, I would feel deflated and uninspired.  I may try to not be ME, but more like THEM, if I was feeling insecure or dis-believing.  As a woman, the more you own and harness your own personality, your own authentic beauty - and play up your strengths, the RIGHT man for you will be effortlessly drawn to you.  Comparison DOES kill. 

* ** People won’t invest in you beyond what you’ve invested in yourself.

As a coach, I continually invest in my own growth, tools and training.  I continually make financial investments in myself via coaches, teachers, trainings, seminars - not to mention the investment of time, and self-care.  I could never expect to receive an investment from a client for one of my coaching packages, products or seminars that I don’t make myself.  It’s an integrity thing.

How does this show up in LOVE?  Would you want to date you?  And are you in integrity in general with how you treat others?  Once a client came to me  being very tough on the guys out there, yet she was ultra-sensitive to any form of rejection that SHE received. It was amazing to watch her transform in our work together and soften into more acceptance of others & herself - and receive love.  Like attracts Like, so the more you invest in your own care, happiness and life - the more you will receive in the form of a wonderful partner.

Wishing you a fabulous Friday & weekend ahead.

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com