belzooka.com

This is not my beautiful house!

2010-11-07T11:33:00.003+11:00

So I'm human, and I change. I'm fickle, just the same as everyone else. A lot of things have changed, especially in the past few months. So I rebranded, just because I can! The previous name was revived in the absence of anything more suitable, and was associated with a period of history which is long-irrelevant, and being that I enjoy the company of the present and future, this never sat well with me. That's right blog, I never liked you, so I changed you. Who said it couldn't be done? Belzooka is a part of my 30+ life and reminds me of roller derby, maxi-cabs, leggings and Crème de Mûre. And change.

I mentioned change. Didn't I? I could have sworn I did. So I've been complaining for the last few years that there wasn't enough of this going around. Well, I am now living in Melbourne! I say living - I have only been here 4 weeks, and am currently staying in temporary accommodation, but I am working, house hunting, and made the move with a view to a longer term, so I like to think I'm on my way.

It is going pretty well. When I am not at work though, I am mostly extremely bored. In my usual fashion of turning a simple plan into a convoluted saga, two weeks before I was scheduled to go, a minor complication arose related to a prior medical condition, which has had little actual effect other than serve to exacerbate my boredom in two ways - I now can't drink, OR drive. For an "indefinite period" - or until I pay someone off to tell me otherwise! This coupled with the aforementioned temporary accommodation situation, and my other half still winding things up in Brisbane, is making me all kinds of crazy hermit lady. The first few weeks were very much focused on adjusting to the new job and environs. Now that I am finding a routine there, I am trying to find other activities to amuse myself in my spare time.

Before I made the move, I had decided it was time to tackle a new project, and that project, I decided, was making my own confectionery. Not quite the logical step you expected? Tell me about it!

My self-critic asked:
Why not do something you know a little about? Some craft thing maybe, you've surely picked up some transferable skills over the years? Let's face it girlfriend, your cooking skills are pretty ordinary. And sweets? Forget about it. Why do you want to embarrass yourself? I don't think I need to remind you about the biscotti.

Well, self-critic, to you I say:
Firstly, I'll have you know that I made a Cup-a-Soup the other day, and it was exquisite. I've just spent too much time in my comfort zone, and I'm looking for a challenge. I've sat too long in the shadow of my boyfriend and sister-in-law and their amazing and effortless fancy-pants culinary skills - and I think I am ready to find my own cooking niche. Or maybe it was from that time I was really tired and I watched Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory just before I went to bed. Also, YOUR NAILS LOOK UGLY!!!

So Project Cavity came about (yes, I do need to label everything with some dumb name to keep me engaged). I named it that in jest, but it has kind of stuck. It is still in the very early stages, experiencing a short hiatus to make time for all this "more important" business of relocation going on, and related crucial activities, including emotional eating and moping around because I miss my people. However, the last few days have seen a little more progress, the success of which is still undetermined, so I will wait to report further on that.

Time for my yearly post!

2010-04-25T19:12:00.005+10:00

Don't be alarmed, it's only some bullet points...

+ I went to karaoke last night for the first time in 2010 (so overdue), and a fun time was had by all, HOWEVER, there are bruises forming on my thighs from the light up tambourines. Who knew it was such rough activity?

+ We recently tripped down to the electric Melbourne for a dear friend's wedding and a short break for shopping, eating, boozing and family time. I am still missing it, especially the shopping and Suga.

+ I am in the market for a new pair of jeans, and it seems to me that these steel plated jeans would be perfect for keeping my legs protected in any skirmishes that occur during my morning commute on casual Friday.

+ Mishka's Smokey Eye Tutorial: the only one you will ever need for your remaining lifespan (I don't claim to know anything about afterlife fashion, so I can't guarantee any further than that). I tried this last night, with 100% success, even being quite the makeup greenhorn that I am.

+ Taking a nerdy turn now, the upcoming Persona 3 Aigis Heavy Arms Version PVC figure is pretty special (the smoke and shells got me immediately). I would consider it if I didn't already have all the Persona 3 figure I needed in my delightful Elizabeth 1/8 Scale PVC Figure. Oh yeah, and if I was made of money. Something that puzzles me is the limited edition of this being SANS Heavy Arms. I like to think about big issues.

+ Tired of buying crappy plaster figurines for the unicorn enthusiast in your life? Take it to the next level with Unicorn Meat, and see just how much of an enthusiast they really are.

ding dong merrily on bloody high

2009-11-17T08:31:00.008+11:00

My least favourite time of year approaches, and I look to one of my favourite things to try and keep off the annual Xmas blues - crappy craft. Obviously, Etsy is a source of awe and inspiration (and money wasting), but it also a hotbed of crappy craft. The most prominent examples of this can be found on the ever-disturbing Regretsy.com, which I am sure you know.

In a recent trawl, I came across one particular thing which stuck out as being totally non-crappy and fantastic, and I had to share - Christmas Goods Gift Claim Tags. I love these and what they are about, and if I had my own big family gathering to attend, I would snap them up (but I'll probably make up an excuse to get them anyway). They are such a great take on the big gifting ceremonies of Xmas morn, which I remember so fondly from the olden days.

+ This amputee panda USB hub is at the top of my terrifyingly cute Xmas list.

+ Hungry? Itchy feet? Feel like eating a flag? Me too.

+ Also helping get me through this tiresome month: Dita, Cascade Green, Simpkins Barley Sugar, and Worcestershire Sauce. Oh yes, and air conditioning.

Torquil

2009-10-15T03:59:00.004+11:00

Allow me to introduce another special member of the family...

This is Torquil, the Earth Knight.

The pattern came from a book I received as a gift: Creepy Cute Crochet, by Christen Haden. This book was awesome: apart from the super cute patterns, I learned some invaluable lessons from the incredible attention to detail, the neatness and stitch choices within some of the more advanced patterns, and especially the exquisite finishing touches. This is not a book for absolute beginners, there are some real challenges here, but I would recommend it to anyone who likes crocheting small, cute, and occasionally creepy (though I'd be more inclined to call them geeky, not that I mind) amigurumi.

The Three Heads of Allen

2009-10-13T08:17:00.006+11:00

The last however many months have been filled with the humdrum activities of daily life in the suburbs, which I tolerate, the most noteworthy positive things being our holiday to Japan, I turned 30, my niece turned 1, and we moved into a bigger place.

Craft wise, the usual ebb and flow has occurred. I finally completed what was once my secret Christmas project for Nick somewhere between then and now, which was... a crochet Cerberus! This project was ambitious in many ways, and as usual, slowed to an extra crawl in the construction stages, but I made it! Cerberus was dubbed by his new owner: “Allen”.

Big props to MrsThallium for sharing her wondrous pattern, and Suncatcher Eyes, well, for the eyes.

Post Cerberus, I spent our mild winter making winter woollies for various people. I became obsessed with variegated yarn for a short while, since it makes things look more interesting than they really are, and the changing colours and textures kept my attention span in check. I have been particularly digging on tweed yarn, of which I originally bought a skein of the most hideous colours I could find for some hobo gloves for my brother. I then actually realised that it is gorgeous to work with, and can look very cool in the right context. A beanie for each of us followed, though I finished my own in the last week of “cold” weather we had, so didn’t actually get a wear in. Whoops.

I’ve more recently fallen back into amigurumi, and taken the daunting step into using purely my own patterns, rather than the splicing together of all the wonderful patterns out there. Who knows how it will end (or if it ever will).

big brain am winning again!

2009-04-16T05:01:00.002+10:00

On Monday, I decided to make some changes to my poxy website, upgrade my WordPress, change some colours and the like. It was all going well, until one wrong click or keystroke or breath and all of a sudden I had no website. Then I had a website with the new WordPress, but no posts. Then I had my posts back in weird format, but no admin access.

I have spent the days since in denial, weeping into my keyboard, having no idea what to do. I have been off work sick for two days, so you would have thought I might have had the time to look into it, but it all just seemed too hard and I had no clue where to start, since I had no admin access.

About 10 minutes ago I decided to face up to this embarassing little problem, and some light digging brought me to the most likely solution. Then, 2 minutes later, it was fixed. Who knew it would be so simple? I certainly didn't. To all wise computer geeks, this web luddite salutes you.

unproductive times

2009-04-13T05:39:00.003+10:00

I easily get sucked in to spending a majority of my time doing things I don't really want to do. This especially happens in Summer. I have spent most of this year so far in this unproductive state, with a minority of exceptions.

Crafternoons were absent from my life for a lot of this time, after a minor case of burnout after so much Xmas pressure, and also due to the growth of my niece, and her new level of mobility, curiousity and tactile fascination, along with the increased ability to distract via cuteness. One of my Xmas projects still remains unfinished, but I am aiming to get it completed before next Xmas. I wouldn't want to set an unachievable goal. Here are a few of my Xmas projects which were completed and gifted on the due date.

Recently, however, I have been easing back into it, with the return of Winter, and the help of a few friends and keen greenhorns, and have been enjoying the deadline-free element to the crafternoon. It begins again...

So, our plans for change and excitement have been postponed due to unfortunate global circumstances. However, to dwell on the fact would be to invite melancholy into this post, so I won't.

I turn 30 next month. I am quite unconcerned about this, and am taking the fresh approach of looking forward to it, and using it to make some much needed changes here and there. The one thing I did promise myself, and phrased it as such knowing the unpredictable nature of things, is that I would not be in Brisbane for my birthday. Thanks to this promise, and the freeing up of some savings from the aforementioned plan changes, we are heading to Japan for 11 days! This is the most excitement we have seen in a while, and is keeping us occupied with planning and the making of many lists - one of my favourite things to do, of course.

kupo!

2008-11-30T22:17:00.002+11:00

Like many others before me, I am a sucker for moogles, those mind-bendingly cute characters from the Final Fantasy series. I've been asking Santa to get me one for years, but alas, I am yet to wake up on Christmas morn to find one bouncing around the house. So, to fill the void, I had to settle for making one.

I did a lot of research, and ended up splicing parts together from various patterns (most notably, this one), and adjusting as I went along. The actual crochet part was a breeze, and especially rewarding when I finished the boring cream colour.

However, it was the assembly part which turned out to be much more laborious than I had anticipated. I'd estimate total assembly time at about 4 hours, over a few nights (including time for head-scratching and getting another glass of wine). This is mainly because I am such a greenhorn, but also because I didn't want it to be crap, or to disfigure myself with the hot glue gun in my haste. So he's not perfect, but I feel he is good enough to prevent me from dramatically throwing myself from a window (admittedly, this would only be about a 2 metre fall, but the sentiment is there).

Ziggy the Moogle
b. 15.11.08

long live the crafternoon

2008-11-22T22:37:00.002+11:00

Recent months have brought a welcome diversion. The crafternoon has always been with us, lying dormant, until we forget about the more important things we think we should be doing. The crafternoon is the coming together of friends in the post meridiem daylight hours, to participate in many kinds of art, craft or creative pursuit. The crafternoon has had many revivals over the years, passing down through an enthusiastic stream of like-minded friends, families and flatmates.

It has recently enjoyed a resurgence in my life. It began with a common need between Melissa and I to get back to our crafting roots. Melissa was dreaming of quilting, and I was coveting amigurumi. I already knew how to crochet, and Melissa knew how to sew, so we could skip the boring part and get straight into it. Thus began what may go down in history as our most prolific and enriching crafternoon period yet.

You probably already know what amigurumi is. If not, in short, it is the Japanese craft of making knitted or crocheted toys. To me, amigurumi means taking an animal, character, inanimate object, or something you just made up, and translating it in crochet to look super cute. Already super cute? Make it ridiculously cute! It's simple, really.

So allow me to take time out from creating more amigurumi, thinking about amigurumi, and generally being consumed by amigurumi, to post about my first amigurumi. His purpose was to teach, and he succeeded. Now I can look at him and see all my mistakes, and things I could have improved. He is a great source of pride to me, being not only my first amigurumi, but the first project of any kind I have actually finished in ages (unfinished projects are a hobby in themselves). So, in all his flawed glory, I present to you, King Dingus!

King Dingus

b. 25.10.08

The crafternoons are continuing, and more people are being infected. More projects will follow here, at a delay anyway, since many cannot be unveiled until after Xmas, and also, I'm lazy. I hope to get some pictures of Melissa's quilt for the record too, and maybe the projects of the other infected crafters.

A tremendous boon from our crafternoons is that I also get to spend time with my delightful neice. So if you will excuse me, I need to go and get ready - I don't think I need to spell out where I am going this afternoon...

binge thinker

2008-08-11T02:06:00.001+10:00

Among the infinite distractions of late, including trying to get this to work, an ongoing writing crisis, plus other miscellaneous mini-crises, there are very few tributes to pay, or things worth mentioning:

+ Several weeks ago now, a headline on the front of a magazine aimed at the vapid teenage girl, asked: 'Are you a binge thinker?'.

+ A young badass fellow at the train station, wearing a skeleton hoodie, complete with matching gloves, enjoying a pink creaming soda.

+ The recent addition to the rotation of buskers in the subway, who adjusts his small repertoire to suit his surroundings, for example, when in the dim, dank tunnel under the street, keeps it low key and depressing, yet when in the square, steps it up a bit with of 'Calendar Girl', and such. A sticking point is that he doesn't know the lyrics to 'Living Doll'. How can he call himself a busker? It's not going to last.

+ An old lady wearing a G-Unit t-shirt.

+ Links can also make it look like I have written more:

Those golden rays, or, ravioli of the sea. I know, this was ages ago now.

At last, Alice in Wonderland in Ascii form! I know it's awesome, but why?

A keyboard so pretty and frivolous it makes my hair curl

The Dandy Warhols are coming to Brisbane on November 5. Ticket price is steep, but I get morose at the thought of missing it.

I got my hands on this little beauty, by the inimitable Joe Ledbetter, and have also put my hand up for the sketchbook. While these two things bring me great joy, they also serve to help me try to forget this.

no jersey required

2008-08-01T07:57:00.001+10:00

We have recently hatched a new scheme to start cycling, or in my case, trying to stay on a bike for over a minute. This scheme was borne of a combination of health, fitness and social needs, plus a dose of boredom. Leon is already a seasoned rider with a fancy mountain bike and Nick just a bought a flash new ride, and is already getting back to his old ways behind the handlebars. I, on the other hand, was never a confident rider as a youngster, have ridden rarely since then, but keen to give it a bash again, for a laugh, if nothing else.

Not willing to shell out for something which would potentially end up a product of yet another neglected cockamamie plan, I got my hands on an old bike in the family, which now that I think about it, dates back to the late 90s. It was in a most ghetto condition (despite advice that “she’ll be right”, though a quick inspection showed that the brakes didn’t even work, let alone much else), so we took it to the local bikery to get a service.

The potential futility of this idea became evident, as we struggled to disassemble the rusted parts to get the bike in the car, our reservations growing upon arrival, as the airless tyres squelched noisily across the carpark. The salesman (well, salesboy) diplomatically kept his laughter to a minimum, but it was clear that it was going to be no small feat to get it even barely rideable. It was going to cost a considerable amount more than just a normal service, but still, compared to the cost of a new bike, I decided it was preferable for my needs. That was a week ago, and I haven’t heard anything since.

Anyway, my point is (yes, I do have one), last night, Phil Collins visited me in a dream, and told me that it was going to cost $540 to fix my bike, which is several times the amount I expected to pay. I was shocked, and explained to him that I could just go and buy a new bike for less than that. He just shrugged and took a drag from his cigarette “You could do that, I suppose”. Then he pushed up his sleeves, slung his sports jacket over his shoulder and walked off.

Thanks, Phil.

have you seen this boy?

2008-07-25T01:37:00.002+10:00

wookie coiffure

2008-07-09T01:52:00.002+10:00

Last week, I heard a hairdresser’s true story about a male client she once had, who came in and said that he knew this was going to sound really strange, but he wanted a haircut like this - and whipped out a doll of... Chewbacca from Star Wars. He just liked the way its hair looked, and how it always managed to sit right. With the level of diplomacy I imagine most hairdressers would have to have in spades, she decided not to point out that it was not only a wookie, but also a toy, which may have attributed to its constant perfectly coiffed ‘do, and set about granting this bizarre request. In the end, she succeeded and the client left satisfied. I can't even imagine how it would have looked, but I have to give the guy credit for knowing what he wants.

...

I have recently been coveting the lush jewellery of Thomas Sabo. However, I am much too scared to look at the prices though as: a) it is probably well outside my spending limits, or worse; b) it might be within those limits. That would be very bad.

...

Of all the stupid youtube videos that people show me, this is one that actually made me laugh. Quite a lot.

1:0

2008-06-29T01:09:00.002+10:00

I was in a doctor’s waiting room the other day, when a mother and her teenage daughter entered. The daughter had completed her look for her weekday morning GP visit with knee high boots, a mini skirt and skanky hair and makeup. She commanded her exasperated mother to “get her a coffee”, and so she did. When the young lady came out of the doctor’s office, she went and sat down sullenly with her arms folded, leaving her mother to deal with the rest. The mother asked the daughter if she had bought her pocket money for her medical expenses. No response. Then, mother claimed her victory. She asked loudly across the room: “Darling, when do you want your next rabies shot?”. It had the desired effect, and much teenage embarrassment ensued. Mother smiled triumphantly in her golden moment.

I tried for the second time last night to watch Napoleon Dynamite. I can’t get past the first half hour. I can’t claim that the whole movie is of the same quality, having never seen it through (and railing against certain people that think they can judge an entire movie on ten minutes and a prior decision to not like it anyway). However, I don’t know how to get further than this, as no one has told me that it will change that much after the excruciating opening scenes. I have received no useful input, further than snide remarks regarding my cultural standing. “Pfft, you just don’t get it”. That is true.

I had a dream the other night that I went to a housewarming party, and the hosts handed me a drink, in which they had replaced the ice cubes with miniature, 1950’s style appliances and furniture, filled with water and frozen. I was most fond of the powder blue refrigerator.

Last week, Gordon Ramsay gave the prats on channel 9 what for, hooray!

This is such a fabulous, yet simple idea, and one which I will add to my long list of things I should, but probably never will, do.

dude, where's my notebook?

2008-06-20T04:38:00.001+10:00

I have a food hangover, after the rich meal we had last night (with a Dixieland soundtrack). I slept pathetically and smacked myself in the scar as I woke up this morning. Commutes were plagued with delays, and women with huge human trailers (handbags) and VIP ego status. Some other things also aren’t very cool at the moment, and I feel like I just fell out a tree, but I can’t help but find things amusing today anyway. The following helped:

+ I read that there will be a Hollywood Death Note movie. I’m sure it will potentially be shit, but we began to fan-cast it anyway: Cillian Murphy as L (the most brilliant thing I ever thought of), and Ashton Kutcher as Light (dude, where’s my notebook? – NB). Naturally, Michael Caine is Watari. We are working on it - this is important stuff, that needs thinking about.

+ I saw someone pull a face behind someone else’s back, when I thought they were buds. My respect for person A grows, as I am not a fan of person B myself, and face pulling is so out of fashion these days, so it was a bold move.

+ At lunch, I walked past a hip young fellow at the same time as he exclaimed to his friend matter-of-factly: “John Farnham!”

+ I was too scared to go to Starbucks by myself, without someone to buffer my awkwardness at being a coffee noob, to help me answer all their mystical questions, and to protect me from the coffee junkies who will scratch my eyes out if I take too long to order. Maybe tomorrow I will work up the courage. Friday was always the brave Starbucks day in Vancouver.

+ Playing with Spore

+ I got paid!

crab eye

2008-06-19T03:50:00.001+10:00

Ten things which are awesome today:

The way a little rain makes people panic, as though it were the acid kind
Having too many colours to choose from
Saying ‘phone tiggy’ instead of ‘phone tag’
Going out to tea for Kira’s birthday
Old people unsuccessfully trying to use internets
Laughing too loud and feeling inappropriate
Two days until Cut Copy gig
Two days until payday, and surviving without any panhandling or instant noodles
Hearing that Dos Hell were played on the radio this morning
Learning the term ‘crab eye’

operation epsilon kitty

2008-06-16T05:11:00.002+10:00

I have spent the better part of my Sunday afternoon, yet again, kitten watching.

Two weeks ago I thundered down the back steps to find a tiny, startled, grey and white kitten. I watched him run into the hedge, and out of the hedge. And as though by a trick of the eye, out of the hedge again, and into the front garden. Lo and behold, there were two kittens. Being predisposed to being a crazy cat lady, and currently deprived of such a being to lavish attention upon, I committed to observe these lovelies for the rest of the day. It turned out they were strays living under the front stairs. There were saucers of milk and much cuteness, and fretting about their well being. Then in the evening the mother came back (the trollop!), fed them and buggered off. We heard them mewing during the rain that week, but didn’t see them again.

Last weekend we weren’t around, but I heard that they had been spotted. Today they reappeared, frolicking in the garden. They are so tiny, smaller than even a, um, video tape? I spent a lot of time crouching in the garden in a bizarre fashion, moving slowly and avoiding eye contact with them, during which I did consider how I might have looked to a passer-by. But anyway, in the end, I got quite close to them and they seemed slightly more comfortable with me. I fed them a bit and was able to watch them for ages, they didn’t seem to mind in the end. Mother didn’t show up today. It’s an ongoing project.

...

Hilarious part of Death Note, made even more so by the magic of the english dub…

...

manbabies.com - stupidly mesmerising and mesmerisingly stupid.

GET MORE AT ManBabies.com!

Dos Hell Live @ Ric’s Bar 02.06.08

2008-06-12T06:52:00.001+10:00

It was a wet and miserable Brisbane evening, but after the week in the media sun, the rain couldn’t dampen the spirits of Dos Hell or their fans. While the time ticked closer to their much anticipated show, a storm took out the power in the Valley mall. It looked, for a brief moment, like Dos Hell might not be able to play. But they laughed in the face of adversity, and began to set up by candlelight for an unplanned and unrehearsed acoustic show.

They weren’t phased by the new format, rather, they seemed to flourish with the change. The unplugged element brought with it more freedom for stage antics and interaction, and soon Marlon was amongst the crowd. The band played a few songs well-suited to the acoustic setting, including an audience singalong to ‘Heartbeat Radio’, and even covered an impromptu request for Peter Gabriel’s ‘Sledgehammer’. Their impeccable skill and confidence was unaffected, Marlon’s dynamic vocals (and kazoo stylings) unhindered.

Soon after, the power unexpectedly came back on, and the band plugged in for the live set of power-jang that the fans had come for. They treated the audience with some brand new tracks amongst their solid repertoire of songs. Jeremy got creative on some wailing guitar solos, Danny showed his rock chops on the drums, Leon brought thunder on the bass, and Marlon’s vocals soared to new heights. Standout tracks were ‘Her Opinion’, ‘Please Dedicate’, ‘Her Mother’s Eyes’, and of course, another rendition of ‘Heartbeat Radio’, finishing again with their country tribute ‘SMB’.

Dos Hell’s unique blend of musical excellence and geeky pop charm brought many new fans in from the cold. They took the unusual circumstances and turned them around in their favour, their big sound as always making the tiny club feel like a stadium. Even when they are just playing around, these guys still never fail to impress. The lesson was clear – the nature of Dos Hell is irrepressible!

Dos Hell Live @ Valley Studios 18.04.08

2008-06-11T05:12:00.001+10:00

Dos Hell’s first ever public gig was as the ice-breakers for a lineup of unsigned bands. The venue was the Valley Studios, the audience a mixture of live music supporters, vague enthusiasts and of course the ever-jaded arty types, most there to see no one in particular. All of these factors might have dented the confidence of a lesser band, but Dos Hell showed no signs of slowing when they came on stage.

They introduced themselves with ‘Down Down Down’, from their demo, and it became clear that they might be more than just another pub band. They had the full attention of the audience. Heads bobbed and toes tapped hesitantly, feeling like it should be too early to do so. Cheeky frontman Marlon led the banter between songs, interacting with the audience and subsequently charming the room. This only lent to their credibility, as it was easy to see through it to what they already knew – here was a group of skilled musicians.

Included in their set, amongst their repertoire of well written songs, an original song with the lyrics from Peter Gabriel’s ‘Sledgehammer’ - the re-assurance of a familiar song, without the cheapness of a straight cover version, and the cleverness and talent to pull it off. They had us at ‘Heartbeat Radio’, the song destined to be their breakthrough, and guaranteed to get stuck in your head for days. An impromptu kazoo solo, and a novelty country song as a closer rounded off the set. They drew genuine cheers from the crowd, as they planted the seeds of the excitement that could one day fill a stadium or two.

Dos Hell appear to have to world at their feet. These skilled craftsmen, who wear pop on their sleeves, are wise to the secrets of truly great pop song, and blended them together into something original and fun. In their first show, they created more buzz than many bands could do in ten. They bought us into their catchy, colourful world for only an hour, but left us wanting so much more.