Ben & Susie's Ministry Website

Happy, Happy, Happy week!

2013-06-14T12:21:00.000-07:00

This week is a very fun week for Team Thomas. There are birthday's, recitals, soccer games and a party! Charlie turned 4 and Talya turned 5! What a joy to celebrate them both. Susie and I are so thankful to be their parents and count it an absolute joy, almost all of the time.

Tonight is also their dance recital. Yes, Charlie is in dance, much to my dismay. Personally, I don't think the boy needs to be encouraged any more to be the center of attention! He does that just fine on his own. I am glad though that he did it. Talya on the other hand, should be in a tutu with a tiara prancing around, like any princess should! It will be fun to see them both tonight on stage. Talya is a pro and will do just fine. We'll see how Charlie does under the lights. Either way, we will be celebrating at the China buffet afterwards!

Tomorrow is the kids last soccer games. Charlie and Talya's team - the Lions/Princesses - have been a treat. They are a bunch of 3, 4 and 5 year olds. It has been fun to watch each of them grow/ I have thoroughly enjoyed coaching each of them, especially Charlie and Talya. If you haven't kept up with Susie or me on facebook, Charlie dominates on the offensive end, while Talya cleans up on defense. Simon's team - the Lightning - play in the Champion's League as they are 7-10 years old. It has been fun to teach them and coach them. I have loved being Sy's coach each season over the last 3 years. Sy does an awesome job in the goal and is developing into a good field player.

In the midst of all this Susie has been doing great. It seems that the side effects of the chemo - nausea, dizziness and tiredness - are all wearing off. She has seemed more "back to normal" and it has been a joy to see. We had another good visit with one of her doctor's this week, and continue to be hopeful about how her brain is healing. We are very happy!
As we've gone through a very happy week, we ask you to pray for some friends that are going through some harder times:

Bekah & Eddy - our neighbors - Bekah had major back surgery and is coming home after 12 days in the hospital. Her recovery has been quite challenging.
Craig & Tracey - Tracey's brain tumor has come back. Please keep them in your prayers. www.caringbridge.org/visit/traceyclarke/journal/
Team Thompson - our dear friends are moving to Rwanda tomorrow with their 3 adorable kids. We said good bye to them over the phone today and Talya starting crying. /http://www.thompsonsinrwanda.blogspot.com/. They are
April & Steve - April's brain tumor has also come back for the 4th time. She is currently undergoing chemo. http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/help-for-the-bohannons/59279

Thanks for praying for us and for our friends that we have met along the way. Some days are happier than others for some. Thankfully the Lord's love remains the same.

School is out!

2013-05-31T13:40:00.001-07:00

Today marked the last day of school! We officially have a boy that is ready for 2nd grade and a girl who is ready for KG!

All day I have been fighting back tears, as I think of the many ways the Lord has guided us over the last 175 school days. I've also been fighting back the tears as I think of how awesome our kids are. I'm not bragging, I just feel blessed!

At the start of the year, Annie was just a month old. We were up with her at least 3 times a night. Susie was just starting her 3rd week of radiation and she continued on for a total of over 6 weeks. I stepped down from my role as Global Director of Athletes in Action. We took the family and headed to Lake George for a few weeks. After we returned, Susie started her 6 rounds of chemo, with the end of the first round putting her in the hospital for a few days. We celebrated Thanksgiving out on the deck and resumed all the normal Christmas activities. We then headed to Boston where we started my Doctoral program at Gordon-Conwell. As we came home we received great news about an MRI. Then our thoughts began to shift towards Brazil. We enjoyed a fabulous time in Cabo and have been home since, and marched towards the finish line of chemo, celebrating Susie and trying to put things in motion for a hopeful relocation to Brazil.

In the midst of all that chaos, our kids enjoyed the routine, the normalcy and the family of school. Every day we had school pick up and drop-off, three total. We had reading and homework. We had field trips and special programs. We had to sign the agenda/planner daily. We memorized verses, did math facts and even memorized all 50 states and where they are located on a map! Our kids loved every minute of it. Thank you to everyone at BLS who made this year so enjoyable for them. To their teachers, their friends, their friend's parents, administrators and staff. Thank you!

Thanks again to many of you who have allowed our kids and us to enjoy a "normal" year in the midst of chaos. Thanks to the Lord for the great things He has done.

As we pulled out of school today, I couldn't help but be thankful. I was also wondering, what school will be like for the next few years, hopefully, in Brazil. Our hope and prayer is that our kids and our family enjoy being part of the school family there as much as we have here.

School is out for the summer. As Simon says, with the move to Brazil, we may get a longer summer than usual!

Update on Brazil

2013-05-23T19:46:00.001-07:00

Thanks to many of you for praying for us while we traveled to Brazil. Susie and I had a great time. Our friends and fellow staff members, Fernando & Pati, and their kids, took great care of us. Thanks to them, and all their pre-work, and thanks to the Lord, many doors were open.

Hospital - Susie and I visited a beautiful hospital in Sao Paulo. It was perfect for Susie. It is the hospital that the President of the country has used and many celebrities as well. We were able to meet with the International Patient Department and Susie received an MRI. We couldn't believe it! We felt very comfortable at this hospital and it has everything we need to keep track of Susie's brain!
School - We were able to meet with the principal of a school in Praia Grande, the town we hope to be living in. The school was great and we think Simon, Talya and Charlie will enjoy learning there and making friends.
Housing - If you follow us on facebook, you know that we saw a few options but landed on a great house that we will rent. It's spacious, beautiful and only one block from the beach! We even have a guest room if you are interested in visiting.
Praia Grande - It's a Brazilian beach town that many people from Sao Paulo visit. It is lined with 21 kilometers of beach and it is beautiful. The people were friendly, warm and received us with smiles. While it is not a big city, it has everything we need and is conveniently located only an hour or so from Sao Paulo. We are looking forward to making the most of the opportunity to enjoy all it has to offer.

We continued to feel confirmed that serving in Brazil for the next few years will be a great option for us as a family, for the ministry and for what I'm learning in my Doctoral studies. We were so thankful to spend a few days there.

While we remain excited and continue to move forward there are a few things that still need to happen before this can all be finalized:

Visa - we need to secure the proper visa to move to Brazil. Our colleagues in Brazil are working with a lawyer to get all the necessary paperwork. This is a very tedious process and one that is completely out of our control. We hope to file the paperwork by the beginning of June and are hoping to receive the visa by the beginning of September. This is a big one! Please pray for favor and wisdom in this process.
Our house - we are very open as to what to do with our home in Ohio. We are open to renting it, selling it or keeping it if the first two don't work. Just yesterday, we officially put it on the market and are eager to see what happens with it. Please pray with us for wisdom.
Portuguese - one of the things that became very clear is that our family is going to need to learn the beautiful Portuguese language in this process. Susie and I are hoping to tackle our Rosetta Stone over the summer months and then be fully immersed in the language once we are there. As you hear people speaking different language, feel free to pray for us as we seek to learn a new one!

Thanks so much for your interest, prayers, excitement and support of our family. It is a blessing to share this adventure with you.

A quick trip to Brazil

2013-05-12T18:03:00.000-07:00

As this Mother's Day concludes, Happy Mother's Day, Susie and I are on our way to Brazil. We will be spending the next few days with our friends and colleagues with Atletas em Acao - AIA Brazil.

We invite you to pray with us this week as we seek further clarity on housing, schools, hospitals, visas & daily living things (banks, cell phones, Internet, grocery stores, etc). Please also keep our kids in prayer as they are with some very good & capable friends.

We are thankful for the many prayers and words of encouragement so far. We are thankful to share this journey with you.

The Happiest House on Earth - it could be yours!

2013-05-01T12:21:00.000-07:00

Or, at least in the Miami Valley.

One of our big things as we consider moving to the global south is what to do with our things. It's tricky, because we are really not "stuff" people, and so there's a huge part of us that wants to sell or give away it all. If you walked through right now and said, "hey I like that bowl," I'd probably give it to you. But, like I said, it is tricky. Because though we have a *plan,* we can't depend on our plan. One bad MRI and I'll be back in Ohio trying to find which Good Will my winter coat ended up.

So, do we store, sell, give away, rent, trash? And all the sentimental value of our happy home is just so much more valuable right now, you know?

In my mind, I've given the house and everything in it to God already. I've even told Him that if we need to sell it, I'll paint the walls beige. (Wow, that's as painful a sentence to type as it was to pray.)

It's a bright, open, cheery, happy home that is full of amazing memories and has enough room for 4 active children and all the relatives that visit. (3 bedrooms, 3 baths, mostly finished huge basement with an extra room that is technically NOT a bedroom) We love it and hope the next person (permanent or temporary) loves it too and can make their own happy memories here.

If you or someone you know wants to see it, just let us know. We're open on the rent vs. buy and furnished vs. unfurnished issues. And if you paint the walls beige, I'll cry, but I understand. Not everyone loves billboard green and peacock blue, but in my opinion, everyone should try.

Look at that giant table that Ben built! It was where the Beebe family ate Thanksgiving dinner this year. I'm probably going to paint it soon. I'm thinking.... red?

I even cleaned my kitchen enough to show you.

And, seriously? I love our neighborhood, our city, our region, and our state. Yeah, it's cold in the winter and hot in the summer, but weather isn't everything. Fairborn is cheap, friendly, easy to get around and as long as we live in the States, it's where I would want to be. Well, either here or Lake George.

Even if... I am glad and rejoice!

2013-04-29T07:57:00.000-07:00

Since I'm memorizing Philippians, any scripture referenced in the near future will be from there. Because, it's all I currently read. It's like when Ben was only reading and studying Joshua and EVERY talk or sermon or devotional he ever gave was from the book of Joshua for like 3 years. So, bear with me just like we all did with him.

You'll be able to track my memorizing progress through these blogs. My last post included Phil 1:20, and today we're all the way up to 2:17-18. I'll be through the book by the end of the summer, I'm guessing based on this rate.

Anyway, the point. "Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. Likewise you also should be glad and rejoice with me."

On Saturday night, as you may have already known - Ben pulled off a massive surprise celebration of the end of this phase of my life with cancer. 15 months of surgery, recovery, birth, recovery, radiation, recovery, and chemo. He managed to get my whole family here (minus one sister-in-law and my nieces), and Matt & Kristy even made the long trip with their three kids to celebrate with us.

So, I really had no idea this was happening. In fact, I thought I busted Ben a couple of weeks ago when I figured out that Kristy was coming to visit. I even apologized profusely for "ruining the surprise." But then, Saturday morning, people kept coming up from the basement. That I hadn't known were sleeping in my house. Like Mark and even his girlfriend Kim who lives in Texas. And Scott showed up. And I thought I figured out all the surprises.

But then Ben made me wear a bindfold on the way out to "dinner." Which was really annoying. I wasn't sure where we were until he led me through a door into a building that has a very familiar (not in a great way) smell, and I knew exactly where we were... the AIA Headquarters.

When he took the blindfold off, the first person I saw was my friend E. And I almost cried because I had spent the whole car ride trying to decide whether or not to tell Ben that he should have invited her to dinner. Then, I saw about a million other familiar faces and a screen up front that said, "Celebrating Susie."

And, I thought, oh no, I have to sit through a dress rehearsal of my funeral.

But that's not what it was. There was a gorgeous cake, lots of bright and pinterest-y decorations, and soon you couldn't even smell what lives in the walls of the building's basement. It really was a celebration of finishing something. Not the disease, but a long hard stretch of it. Ben and I sat there while some nice and funny people said some nice and funny things, and it really felt more like a sequel to our wedding than a pre-quel to my funeral.

Even my OB, whom I love, and who delivered Annie said some words and managed to avoid the embarrassing details of my delivery-room fears.

I think my favorite part was my brothers all being there together and speaking. They are at their funniest when they're together, and I'm so dang proud of them and I love showing off my awesome family. And what about my dad? He's the most amazing school administrator/principal/headmaster/whatever kids are saying these days, but he should probably be a speech writer/speaker/author/preacher to boot.

I tried to express a few thoughts I had at the time, but what I wish I would have said is summed up in Phil 2. Even if I am poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, (Even if, in spite of your combined faith and prayers, I die of a brain tumor) I am glad and rejoice with you all (I am so happy and celebrate with you all who I love and who love me). And you should be happy too, and eat cake and give hugs and get dressed up and go to parties and say nice things.

Thanks for the great night and a great year!

Oh, and so many of you wrote me beautiful letters that were put together in a beautiful book that I'll get today hopefully and I can't wait to read it. Thank you so, so much!

My mom has been avoiding speaking with me for weeks and successfully kept the surprise a secret.

My brothers at our wedding in 2001. I promised them that if they cooperated with the Indian suits for the ceremony, they could wear what they wanted to the reception. Not sure why they picked these. Rumor has it that they tried to find them for Saturday's party, but that the shirts are missing.

And, here they are today. Much more fashionable.

E looked beautiful!

Kristy gave everyone the impression that we made a pact in college that she'd go to med school and I'd go to seminary, and because she's a Dr, you might have thought that she kept up her end of the deal. Actually, neither of us have. She has her PhD, but we both need to hit the books again to make good on our promise to fulfill our dreams. But, I think maybe we've moved on to different dreams: Kids, missions work, visiting and cheering for each other's kids at soccer games.

Beginnings of answers, and an invitation to prayer

2013-04-19T08:16:00.000-07:00

You know how when you begin praying about something, it sort of seems unlikely that you'll receive an answer, but you pray anyway because you know that's the right thing to do? And, then God surprisingly and gently begins to unfold an answer before you over your whole life, and you have to remind yourself that it's not surprising at all because that's what He said He would do?

Well, I can point to some specific times in my life where that's been the gist of the story. And those times are my most sacred spiritual treasures because they remind me that This. Is. Real. and I haven't conjured up some drama in my mind or fallen victim to a weird mass-mentality thing.

I'd like to share here a letter that our ministry supporters should be receiving in their mailboxes right now. And, then, if you're still here, I'd like to tell you the longer version of the story. And, if in your generous, faithful friendship to us, you'd like to keep checking in, we'd like to answer your questions and bring you a little further into our journey of ministry.

OK, here's the letter:
In a recent web update to you all, I described my feeling of “eager expectation and hope” that was captured so eloquently in Philippians 1. We’ve described to you the process we’ve been through over the past 6 months to determine “what’s next” for our family as far as ministry is concerned.
To sum it up, you might remember that in July, Ben felt certain that God was leading him to step down from his role as the director of AIA’s Global Leadership Council. This was heart-wrenching for both of us, for a variety of reasons - mostly because in that role we really felt as though we’d found our God-planned “fit” into His work here on earth through Athletes in Action. However, the depth of commitment and the amount of travel the job required was really not possible with the challenges we were facing medically. So, though it hurt, we let it go. It was really a beautiful gift that Ben gave me - to say goodbye to something he loved so that he could love me better. Ben remained insistent that he didn’t need to know what was next in order for him to know it was time to stop - and he lived that conviction with courage.

But the question - Now What? was a natural one for us and for all of you who have supported us in our ministry. You all (and AIA) have been so gracious in giving us the time to first deal with the challenges facing our family, and then to wait on God before we answered. As we’ve prayed, we’ve been able to clarify a few priorities. This next season of our life together feels like a carefully-wrapped gift. We want to accept it, determined to LIVE, to grow closer together as a family, to LEARN more about God in new ways, and to SERVE some national staff whom we love and respect in a very critical time of their ministry.

So, it is with eager expectation and hope that we ask you to pray with us about a specific ministry opportunity that we believe God has been leading us towards. What we are considering is moving to Brazil for three years (September 2013-December 2016) to help AIA’s national staff team lead and grow their ministry during a very unique time in their history. At the same time, we will be connecting with many sports ministries who have their eyes on Brazil for the Olympics and World Cup. Also, Ben will be continuing with his Doctor of Ministry, and what he is learning there ties in beautifully with what we see happening in Brazil.

This is timely for us because of my tenuous medical prognosis that seems to be opening a small window of freedom. This is timely for AIA because, for the first time ever, the World Cup of Soccer and the Summer Olympics will be happening in consecutive years in the same country, We also believe this is timely in the history and future of the Church as God continues to work in the Global South to build His Kingdom. I hope it’s clear that this decision is not final. Moving to Praia Grande, Brazil (near Sao Paulo) is what we want and are hoping for. We’ve prayed about it and sought counsel from people who know us well. Now, we’d like to invite you, our ministry partners, to begin to pray with us for God’s continued direction in this decision. There is a small mountain of details that we need your help and advice (and prayer!) in tackling, so we will be updating our website with lots of questions and projects and needs as we move forward. And, if God closes the door on this adventure, we will be sad, but we will be obedient. Please pray for us.

Oh wait! You have questions! We can predict a few of them: What about medical care? How will you educate your kids? Are you insane? What does your family think?

For now, I’ll just assure you that we’ve asked ourselves all of these questions and have felt God’s gentle assurances. We’ve also begun the careful process of seeking answers, and will do our best to share what we’ve learned. To start, we are confident we are not insane. As far as family goes, I’d hope they’d be a little sad to see us move further away, but they’ve expressed their support and encouragement. However, understanding your potential curiosity, we asked my mom to weigh in. She wrote a letter to you, and we’re posting it on our website for you to read.

Actually, we’re going to try to flesh out several of these things on our website. We send out these prayer letters about every 4-6 weeks, so to stay current, we ask you to go to www.benandsusiethomas.com over the next few weeks as we address some of the following:

The process and mechanics of how we are sent.
Visas.
Housing - here and there.
Education.
Medical care.
Funding.

Finally, we (without the kids) are planning to take a vision trip to Brazil next month to begin exploring some of these details in person. Feel free to keep the questions coming (call or email Ben). And thank you for your faithful prayers - you’ve taught me so much.

Love,

Ben & Susie (who just finishied chemo!) Simon, Talya, Charlie, (who are all starting soccer tomorrow) and Annie (who is crawling!)

Now, do you mind if I tell you a longer version of the story? (warning: the "longer version" is really just a way of me saying "I was right!")

In 2003, we went on our first international tour together with AIA to Sao Paulo, Brazil. We helped lead a team of young basketball players, doing clinics, playing games, sharing the gospel, and completing our time with a week-long basketball camp hosted by Atletas em Acao (AIA Brazil). Our time there was so special because it was the beginning of our international experience at AIA, and because it was there we met the staff of Atletas em Acao, and began to fall in love with their families.

While we were playing a game in the beach town of Santos, I - a clueless newlywed - declared to Ben, “I could live here someday!”

Then, on August 6, 2012, on the way to my first radiation treatment, I asked Ben, “If we could live overseas again, where would you want to go?” He said, “North Korea, Pakistan, or Brazil.” So, obviously, Brazil it is! :)

(You’re welcome, Mom & Dad.)

And speaking of my parents, here's the letter they wrote you, is right over here.


This is a picture of me and Ben on our first trip to Brazil - not too far from where we hope to live - in 2003.

'Tis so sweet

2013-04-08T12:33:00.000-07:00

Well, I don't really have a whole lot to say, but wanted to check in and say hi and let you all know how we're doing. We are back in Ohio after a week in beautiful sunny Cabo, Mexico. I mean, really. We were spoiled by the gift of using a friends' home down there, and sunshine is so good for the soul. We all came home nice and peely-crispy, just as it should be after spring break. While we were there, we realized that it was the first time that just the six of us spent an entire week together. No meetings, doctor appointments, visitors, etc.

(Okay, I do NOT in any way equate the joy of having visitors -especially our great family and friends - with the drudgery and misery of going to the doctor, but it was just that cancer has caused a lot of ins and outs in our home. So, to hang out all day every day with just each other was a rare treat. And, honestly, it would not have been nearly as enjoyable if we'd tried to pull it off in our own house. As it was, there were some moments when there was near bloodshed.)

So, do you want the medical update? I find it ironic that my treatment process is ending in much the same way it began - with us navigating a confusing decision that probably has no right or wrong and has to be made on very little evidence, data or concrete opinion from a doctor.

The good news is that my last MRI was still stable. (Ben probably told you that already). So, standard treatment goes like this: surgery (check), radiation (check), temodar (oral chemo) for six to twelve months. Wait wait wait with lots of MRIs. When the tumor comes back you start the cycle again with some adjustments. So, I've been taking temodar five days a month for five months. I start the sixth cycle tonight. That should be the end, right? Probably, maybe, I guess if we want it to be. Huh? No kidding.

Scientific research basically shows that patients with six months of chemo have better outcomes than patients with zero months of chemo. There has been no testing done to determine if prolonging the treatment improves the outcomes. So, "most patients" take 9-12 months. So, we can do that if we want.

Well who really wants to take pills that knock you out of living life for half the month every month? But who wants to stop taking pills that could keep you living life for more months?

I THINK this will probably be the end of treatment for me. Neither Ben nor I (Ben or me? Ben or I? Why can't I remember 9th grade grammar anymore? Brain tumor? Mrs. Heath? Help!) are interested in prolonging something that isn't necessarily helpful. But we'll get through this week and see how it affects me and revisit the situation later.

Does this remind anyone of a year ago when we had to decide if we were going to treat my cancer or wait on the baby? With virtually no scientific data on whether or not radiation would harm Annie in utero? Just a lot of "we thinks," and "anything's possibles."

I love looking at the future through the lens of how I know the story ends - there will be no sickness or sorrow or pain. I also love looking at the future through the lens of how I know it's gone so far - Jesus is so trustworthy. Right now I'm memorizing Philippians. (Which, if you know me well, is a little weird, since Paul kinda rubs me the wrong way. It's fine - we'll work it out in heaven.) Anyways, Philippians 1 has my new favorite gem of a phrase:

"It is my eager expectation and hope..."

Eager expectation and hope. I don't know what will happen but I know that I am eagerly expectant and hopeful. And if Paul can be that way in prison, I can be that way while I down 340 mgs of temozolomide.

And anyways, I'm still scraping a sunburn off my nose AND my windows are open AND we just celebrated Easter (at a Spanish catholic mass), so it's SPRING. What better season for eager expectation and hope?

'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

Just to take him at his word

Just to rest upon His promise

Just to know "Thus sayeth the Lord."

Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him

How I've proved Him o'er and o'er.

Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus

Oh for grace to trust Him more!

Faithfulness and Enjoyment

2013-03-28T19:23:00.000-07:00

Tonight at dinner, Susie and I were talking about how we have been experiencing and enjoying God's faithfulness and presence in our life recently. It's been a nice season where cancer has not dominated our life, and we've been able to enjoy life.

Susie's latest MRI (last week) continues to be very positive. Her doctors are very pleased with where she is and thankful that there is no new tumor activity. Her brain looks great - no growth, no swelling. They continue to be hopeful that she may have 3-5 years before the tumor comes back.

Susie and I are gaining more clarity on what life might look like for us after her treatments are over. We have been seeking the Lord for the last several months on next steps for us with AIA, and while we are not ready to share everything yet, we are thankful that things are coming together.

Tomorrow, we will be heading to Cabo, Mexico with the whole family. Some of our friends have graciously provided us their home to use on the beach. We cannot wait! We are excited to be out in the sun, be by the beach, and just be together as a family enjoying and relaxing. This has given Susie a level of energy and excitement that I haven't seen in a while. Duh!

This week is a great reminder of why we can enjoy life. Jesus' life of surrender, sacrifice and service for His creation. God's faithfulness and presence started long before Susie's cancer. We continue to stand in awe of an amazing God who showers us with His amazing grace every day!

Prayer Request

2013-03-19T07:26:00.002-07:00

Helllloooo! (Obviously, this is Susie, because Ben doesn't talk like that)

Guess what? It's my birthday tomorrow! I mean, I don't want to toot my own horn, but when living with a disease that is supposed to kill you, it seems worth it to cheer a little louder when you pass some milestones. Seriously, I've been a tad convicted how slow I've been to give God credit for every day I've lived. I'm quick to thank Ben for carrying the kids and me so faithfully, and all of you who have helped us get through the fatigue that makes it so dang hard to cook dinner.

But, hear me say this: thanks be to God, for every day that he ordained for me, before one of them came to be. Thank you God, that tomorrow I will turn 34, and that I didn't die as a 33-year-old mother of 4. Thank you that Ben was not made a widower at 35 and that I got to see Annie's first two adorable teeth. Thank you that I got to give Simon his first real Bible (that - PS - is rated at least PG-13; leave advice in comments). Thank you for every moment you have given me and still have to give.

If you've been around this here website for the whole drama, then you probably have interacted with my friend Megan. She is spectacularly loyal and has helped you help us and always comes over when Ben's not home in the evening to hold Annie while I herd the kids into their room for bed. To love us is to love Megan. So, as you pray for us, please take some time and pray for Megan's sweet dad who is in the hospital after suffering some strokes. We are praying for healing, restoration, as well as an extra measure of wisdom and grace for the entire Soderberg family.

Thank you!
Susie

Chemo Round 5 - read at your own risk!

2013-03-05T17:46:00.000-08:00

Last night started Susie's 5th round of chemo. I have to say we are off to some start. I must warn you this post is a little gross.

As I type this to you, Susie, Sy, Talya & Charlie all have "puke" buckets next to their beds. Talya & Charlie vomited yesterday, Sy & Susie today. Annie has a nasty diaper rash. I'm supposed to be writing a paper this week for my Doctoral program. We'll see how that goes. It's a little hard to concentrate with all the puke chasing!

As you think of it, would you please lift our family up in prayer. I'm praying the Lord would cleanse the house of sickness tonight and allow for a good week for Susie's 5th round.

Thank you to each of you have been praying for my dad, our friend in Budapest and our friend's brother in Ivory Coast. My dad is at home and starting his recovery. Our friend in Budapest and her baby in the womb are doing well. My friend's brother in Ivory Coast is still in jail with no sign of a court date.

Thanks for praying for us, our family and our friends.

Prayers Requested

2013-02-24T20:05:00.000-08:00

Thanks for the many ways you have prayed for us over the last year. Today, we ask that you pray for a few people that are close to us.

Please pray for a co-worker's brother in Ivory Coast. He has been wrongfully imprisoned because of his political views/affiliations by the current party. Please pray for his release and a a quick trial date.
Please pray for one of Susie's friends in Budapest. She is pregnant and recently discovered a growth in her body. Please pray for God's peace to be with her and her husband, her kids, and her parents who have traveled to be with her. Please pray that God would spare her child that is in the womb. Please also pray for a healing of this growth.
Please pray for my (Ben's) dad. On Monday, the 25th, he will be having open heart surgery for 2 arteries that are currently blocked. We are thankful the doctors were able to find this before it resulted in a heart attack. Please pray for God's healing hand to be with him as he goes through surgery and the 2 month recovery process. Please also pray for my mom and my brother as they deal with the stresses that come with this.

Thanks again for your prayers.

The Gift

2013-02-07T16:47:00.000-08:00

A year ago today was a significant moment for Team Thomas

Around 7:30 in the morning, I said goodbye to my beautiful wife as they wheeled her into the operating room. I didn’t want to say goodbye, but I knew that I had to. As I went to the waiting room that morning, surrounded by family and friends, there were 3 things that I was hoping for.

I was hoping that by the end of the day my beautiful bride would be alive. I was hoping that she would have the ability and cognitive function to remember and recognize me. I was hoping that our baby would survive the 6-8 hour ordeal under anesthesia. I never mentioned these three things to anyone. It was just between the Lord and me.

Throughout the day, we gathered in the waiting room. We told stories, made each other laugh, some prayed off to the side, we ate and we waited. Even Susie’s perinatologist, Dr. Glover came and waited with us. Everyone did great in the midst of the heaviness of those moments. Every hour and a half, they would call my name. I would get the standard update, “Everything is going fine.” I knew not to expect much more than that.

After about 7 hours, maybe 7 and a half, they called me to meet with the surgeon. Susie’s parents and brother joined me for what may have been the most intense meeting of my life. Dr. Glickman came in, and he told us a lot of things. He got almost all the tumor. The pathology came back inconclusive, or at least he wasn’t sure about it. There were so many questions, emotions and thoughts swirling in my brain as well as being asked of the surgeon. I can honestly say, all I cared about was seeing Susie.

After another hour or so, and us moving from the waiting room to the Neurological ICU, I walked in to her room. I saw my bride and she was beautiful. Her head was bandaged, she had an IV going and was connected to all sorts of monitors. I walked around to the side of her bed. I kissed her on the forehead. She was alive and she recognized me in the midst of her grogginess. What a joy and peace that gave me in my heart. .

A few minutes later, a resident doctor came in and said, do you want to listen to the baby? We said yes. He rolled over an ultrasound machine and within a few seconds we heard it. Our baby’s heartbeat was strong. Our baby had survived the surgery.

I kissed Susie again and went out to the waiting room. I sat down on a relatively comfortable waiting room chair and I exhaled. Everything I had hoped and wished for that day had come true. I knew that we would have an uncertain road ahead of us, in light of what Dr. Glickman had shared, but that could wait for tomorrow. Today, I had everything I needed.

I ate some spaghetti, went into Susie’s room and made my bed, right next to her and laid down. Well, I mostly laid down, except for the times she wanted me to pass her phone to her so she could play Words with Friends.

A year later, I look back, we look back on this year, and call it our gift. It is certainly not anything we would have ever imagined or scripted – pregnant with a brain tumor – but the lessons we have learned along the way, we are so thankful for.

It is showed us how much God loves us. How much He cares for us. How much He is with us. All the things we knew about God before and have spent our lives sharing with others, have been deeply confirmed over this past year. What a gift!

It has also showed us how much we love each other. Susie & me, our kids, our wonderful families, our friends and people we’ve never had the privilege of meeting. All over the world, we have been loved and cared for. What a gift!

Each day there have been new lessons learned as well as old lessons reinforced. Our lives will never be the same, and we do not know what lies ahead. However, we do know that even in the darkest of circumstances, God’s presence, love, grace and mercy were with us and will be with us. We know that our love for each other will not dwindle or diminish, and that by God’s grace our kids are experiencing His love and ours. What a gift to go into each day with these truths reinforced in our hearts, minds and souls.

Happy Craniotomy Day!

Latest MRI

2013-01-31T18:07:00.001-08:00

Earlier this week, Susie did her regularly scheduled, once every month MRI. Today, we met with her doctor in Indianapolis to go over the results and do a regular check-up. We are happy to report that her brain is healing well. The MRI is stable, showing no signs of tumor growth or new tumor activity.

So what does this mean? Well, it means that the Lord is keeping her tumor at bay for now and we are thankful. Last Friday, we crossed the one year mark of when Susie's tumor was first discovered. That felt like a major accomplishment. The doctors initially told us most people with her diagnosis have a recurrence within 2-4 years, they are hopeful that Susie's might be at least 3-5 years before recurrence happens. We are hoping it never comes back. We'll see how the Lord writes the script.
The reality is Susie's brain can grow new tumors at anytime as nothing is guaranteed and there is no rhyme or reason to when and how they grow. Unlike other cancers, the brain only needs one tumor cell to remain to form into a tumor. So every time we hear and see her MRI is stable and her brain is healing, we will be celebrating. Lord willing, we will be celebrating a lot every two months. Hopefully, you won't get tired of celebrating with us, where ever you may be.

Susie will begin her next round of chemo on Monday. We will do at least 3 more rounds of chemo over the next 3 months. The hope is to slow down any tumor cells that remain. After the 3 months, we will assess what our next steps are. We will continue to monitor her brain with an MRI every two months.

We are so thankful for our medical team. Each one has been great. They have treated us well and cared for us deeply, all of us. They did a great job today of making Charlie and Annie feel at home. We are thankful for great friends and family who have helped us in many ways and have shown us great love and support. Today some of the kids teachers and our neighbors stepped up to watch the kids so we could make the drive out to Indianapolis. Ultimately, we are thankful and stand in awe of our God and Savior who has sustained us through this. We give the Lord our sincere honor, praise, worship and adoration as He showers His love, grace and mercy over us.

Thanks for praying for us, caring for us, staying up-to-date with what is going on. We truly appreciate it. Last year heading into Super Bowl weekend, we were getting ready for a Giants win and a craniotomy. This weekend, we'll spend some time with some friends, take Susie out on a date, and preach a sermon on Sunday!

Boston

2013-01-20T18:51:00.001-08:00

This past week, we have had the privilege of being back in the Boston area. I (Ben), have started my Doctoral studies at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. This is where I did my Master's, and more importantly, this is where Susie and I met 13 years ago. It was here that we dated, then dated long-distance, got engaged and spent the first year of our marriage.

The program I am in focuses on Global Christianity and World Evangelization. It looks at 3 key areas - missions today, development work (NGO's, etc) and global leadership. All three of these are areas that I am very passionate about. I'll be engaged in this program for the next 4 years, while also serving full-time with Athletes in Action and Cru. The program is designed for people who are in full-time ministry to do in the context of their ministry. I'll have a 2-week residency each January. Then lots of reading, writing, research and projects to do in between. After the 3rd residency, I'll look to complete my thesis/dissertation work.

I am in the middle of a 2 week residency. Week 1 was great. I have 8 other residents in my cohort and 2 professors who are literally, world renown. I feel very fortunate to be in this program and look forward to all that I will learn and get to apply as a result.

Thankfully, Susie and the kids have been able to be with me. We are staying with her wonderful cousin, Esther & Les, about 20 minutes from the Seminary. The kids are having a great time playing with their cousins and their very big, but loveable and surprisingly calm dog, Blue.

Susie is doing well. She has had a few days that have drained her more than others, but she continues to hang in there and make the most of each day. She stays engaged with the kids throughout the day and gets a few reading breaks, if Annie lets her. She ends mostly every day exhausted and very tired. Please continue to pray for her. We have been blessed to have the help of a great babysitter, Elisa, who is helping with the kids each day.

This weekend was a lot of fun. We were able to take the kids around and show them the places that were important to us. What a joy to look back on 13 years of God's faithfulness. I remember coming here right after I graduated college. I was young, very young, especially for all of you who still think of me as young. The Lord used this place in so many ways to guide and shape me, and us!

Well, that's all for now. Thanks for your continued prayers for us. Please pray for this week as I finish week 2 of the residency and then we head home. More importantly, please keep Susie in your prayers. Praying for her strength each day as she hangs with the kiddos.

Happy New Year & Round 3

2013-01-03T19:00:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone! We pray this year you experience daily expressions of God's love for you.

We had a great time with our families out east celebrating Christmas. It was topped off with the arrival of our nephew, Andrew, on the 30th! Both Sherin and baby are doing well. Charlie and I had the joy of seeing him the day he was born.

We are back home now, enjoying a week without school for the kids. Bayley is on college break and helping out this week and the kids are loving it!

Susie also started her third round of chemo this week. She is doing well while still dealing with the normal effects of the chemo. She started Monday and will finish on Saturday.

Please also keep Charlie in your prayers. He has a touch of walking pneumonia. He had a bit of a rough day.

Thanks for praying for us.

Merry Christmas

2012-12-21T19:07:00.000-08:00

Only a few more days left until Christmas is here. This year, unlike any other, I wish we could host a large party to celebrate Christmas with each of you. So many people we have never met, old friends that have found us, and friends from all over the world and in our neighborhoods that have connected with us this year. It would be quite the global gathering with lots of great food, great music and great appreciation. Merry Christmas to each of you and to your families.

As you gather with your families and your friends, and as we do the same, please know that we truly appreciate you. Every kind word, kind gesture and prayer has been felt.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Our organization, Cru, which Athletes in Action is a part of, put together a 3 minute video to express their thanks to our partners as well. Thanks for standing with us, whether personally or as a partner with Cru and Athletes in Action.

http://www.cru.org/about-us/thank-you-2012.htm

The verdict on round 2

2012-12-11T17:53:00.001-08:00

I'm so thankful for all the prayers over the past week. That first round of chemo that ended with me in the hospital thinking I had a stroke sure was freaky.

Well, round 2 is over. And it went great. I felt great 90% of the time, really, really wretched 5% of the time, and less-than-awesome-but-not-terrible 5% of the time. And I'm able to add 90+5+5, which I was not able to do after my fake stroke.

So, just a reminder cuz I know it's confusing. My chemo is oral. I pop a pill every night for 5-7 nights. I don't have to go anywhere for treatment. Also, if you know someone else who is being treated for a different type of cancer, they are probably a lot more miserable than I am. Bring them dinner. Or not. Send them a text, just don't expect a response.

My doc is making another slight adjustment on the dosing for round 3 and we'll keep playing this game through at least most of 2013.

Oh and my hair is starting to grow back all weird-like. I'll post pics someday.

Love,
Susie

Chemo - Round 2

2012-12-04T18:32:00.000-08:00

Thank you all so much for your prayers, encouragement and support. Susie and I truly appreciate it. The last 10 days to two weeks have been great. Susie has regained a lot of her strength and energy. The kids and I have thoroughly enjoyed her. It's been sweet.

Tonight, Susie started her next round of chemo. This will last for a week. Our doctors have lowered the dosage, hoping that her body won't have the same reaction as last time, although they don't think it had to do with the chemo.

We don't know what this next week or two or more might hold, but we continue to trust the Lord for whatever may come. We've also enjoyed the last week to the fullest. Our Christmas tree is up. Annie has her stocking. Oversized Christmas cards have been ordered. Christmas lights are up.

As you think of us over this week, thanks for praying for us. Please pray for Susie as she goes through this next round. Pray for peace, strength and grace for her each day.

Sayin' Thanks

2012-11-27T11:35:00.000-08:00

So, it's been a while since I've checked in. And, in that while, I had a little surprise hospital stay, Thanksgiving happened, and various other issues have creeped up in life.

It pretty much wiped me out, but it also was so refreshing to see my family all together again. Even if I did go to bed around 9:00 nightly, which seemed like a lot later than the 7:00 I'd been hitting the hay before they got here.

People who know me make fun of me for the amount of things I "don't believe in." (Some random examples include Thanksgiving and reading more than one book by the same author.) Generally, I avoid all trending pop-Christian ideas (I'm looking at you, Jesus Calling). Not because I think they're wrong, but because I am drawn to and like to celebrate the little unique corners of life. And I'm rebellious and defiant.

So, while everyone else was daily logging onto Facebook to list their items of thankfulness through this month, I was Thanksgiving scrooge. Some of that was harmless, but my heart definitely wandered into sinful places.

I would be remiss to skip it completely because I am so incredibly thankful.

I am thankful to be alive. This time last year I was feeling the strange hard-to-describe feelings that turned out to be indications of a brain tumor.

I'm thankful for my husband who has literally emptied himself of everything "him" to be "us." He did that on June 2, 2001, and a million times since then, but over the past year, he's been especially Christ-like in the way he has stepped aside, given up, assumed whatever posture he's needed to to serve me. He's created quite the monstrously needy wife!

I'm thankful for our families. They've all dropped everything to be with us, help us, travel across the country just to remind us that they love us. For being long-distance, we've enjoyed the benefits of their love as if they lived close by. So, PMCA and Dr. & Maggie Carber, I'm thankful for you too. Because you've let them come. Every time. And I've really needed them.

I'm thankful for doctors and technology and smart people. For breakthroughs and research and new ideas.

For AIA and our financial supporters. We can't wait to be back full-time doing what we love. Your grace in the meantime has been precious.

For friends. Friends make you feel normal - remind you that life is still going on, and make you feel like you're part of it. Friends let you be scared and cry or pray prayers filled with curse words. Friends lay in bed with you and feed you milkshakes and wait patiently when your brain can't form coherent sentences.

For art and music and reading and tv. For outlets for my mind into beautiful or imaginative spaces. Seriously, for Parenthood where I can see my moments on a tiny screen.

I'm thankful for the Body. This has been a weird church year for us as we've begun a transition from our home church (which we love and continue to connect with) to a local church (my loyalty to Fairborn knows no bounds). But both places have been what we've needed. And, of course, the Body extends far beyond the walls of either of those buildings. Into churches and houses and places and countries we've never been. I'm thankful for you.

Whew, that was a long one. Sorry about that. When my brain shut down recently, it became challenging to read and write.

I start chemo again in a week, so it might be another long while until I say hi. Until then, here's my question for you: How do you trust God for big, miraculous things while still maintaining a heart and mind submissive to His mysterious will?

Heading home

2012-11-16T13:16:00.001-08:00

Thank you all so much for your prayers, Susie and I are overwhelmed at the response from all of you. We feel loved and cared for. Thank you. We are on our way home. We knew coming here that we might not figure out what was causing Susie's recent symptoms. However, we also knew we could rule out several things. Thankfully, they have ruled out scary things like a stroke, new tumor growth and seizures. At this point, their best guess is this must be an adverse reaction to her chemotherapy. We will address this in the weeks ahead. I am also happy to let you know that Susie is working her phone again! She has been practicing and working hard to be able to do this. It still may take a few weeks before she is back to where she used to be, but she has made tremendous progress. She has also made progress with her speech, memory, balance and other cognitive issues. We will continue to observe her at home and see if she will need any further physical, speech or occupational therapy. Thanks for praying for us. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we navigate the next few weeks to see how Susie does. We are hoping and trusting that the Lord would heal Susie completely and restore her to full strength and capacity. We are excited to go home today and see our kids. I'm very thankful to bring mommy back home to them. Blessings, Ben

Heading to the hospital

2012-11-14T17:22:00.000-08:00

Thank you all so much for your prayers today.

At the beginning of our journey, the Lord used the story of Him providing daily manna for his people in the Old Testament as an encouragement and guide for me. That still remains true today. God provides for me and for us each day. I asked for prayer today for Susie. I was hoping we would make some progress in figuring out what was going on with her cognitive issues.

Well, after consulting with our doctors, they agree that this is abnormal. What she is experiencing goes beyond normal fatigue from chemo and something else is going on. They also agree that further testing needs to be done to determine the cause. So tomorrow morning we will be admitted to the hospital to begin this round of tests. I don’t anticipate being there for more than a few days, but we’ll see. One day at a time.

Thanks for your continued prayers for us – Susie, the kids, and me. We truly appreciate them. Please continue to pray for healing for Susie – both for her long term health and the immediate cognitive deficits. I’m praying the Lord would restore her memory, speech, strength and balance. Please also keep the kids in prayer as they adjust to some changes over the next few days. Please also pray that the doctors may be able to determine the cause of what is happening and that it would be fixed. I’m especially praying that she would be able to work her phone again. This has been one of the results of what has been going on, she has lost the ability to navigate her phone. For those of you who know Susie, you know how much she loves her phone. The day I bought her an Iphone for Christmas she said to me, “Now that I have an Iphone, there is nothing in the world that I can’t know!"

I’m learning more and more that with brain cancer, ups and downs are part of the normal course of the journey. There are good weeks and bad weeks. Although I was hoping we would have had a longer stretch of good weeks, I’m thankful for the opportunity to be loved by God each day in the midst of the good things, scary things and hard things. Thanks for lifting us up in prayer.

Blessings,

Ben

A call to prayer

2012-11-13T18:44:00.000-08:00

The title to this entry seems redundant, as I know so many of you pray for us.

I wanted to ask for an extra measure of prayer on behalf of Susie over the next 24-72 hours. She continues to deal with fatigue from the chemo. She still has no appetite. Those are all normal and expected.

Beyond these, there have been some other symptoms she is having that are causing some more concern for me. Please pray for God's healing hand to be on her. That He might restore her health and specifically her cognitive function.

Thanks for praying. Please also pray for Simon, Talya, Charlie and Annie.

Thankful that our God hears us, knows what we need before we even ask. So thankful that He loves us.

Bless the Lord O my soul and all that is within me, bless His holy name!

A tough week

2012-11-11T19:15:00.000-08:00

This past week was Susie’s first week on chemo at a higher dose. It proved to be tougher than we expected. Please keep her in your prayers as she has finished this course. She is very fatigued and has spent the better part of the last 3 days sleeping and in bed. The good news is she will be off for the next 4 weeks until her next round in December.

Also, please keep our kids in your prayers. Talya has had a little cough. Charlie has had a cough and has had trouble keeping his food down as a result of it. I’ll be taking him to the pediatrician tomorrow.

Thanks for your continued prayers and support. We were told to expect these sorts of side affects for Susie, but going through this last week was hard. We pray and hope for the Lord to renew Susie’s physical strength in the days to come. We continue to be thankful for how He provides for us each day.

Figuring out normal

2012-10-30T18:45:00.000-07:00

We have been home from the Lake for a little over a week and half. The time at the Lake and out East was great. A good time to see family and disconnect from life in Ohio. I'm especially thankful now, in light of Hurricane Sandy, that we were able to see all of our family out East.

Many of you have asked, and all of our family are doing well. John & Christina had some significant siding damage, my parents had a tree fall on their roof, and everyone lost power. Other than that, they are all doing well and thankful that nothing more serious occurred.

Thanks for the many calls, texts, e-mails and prayers inquiring as to how we are doing. We are doing well. As a family, it has been great to start to get back into a rhythm as we embark on a different season of our journey. The next 6-8 months will have its share of medical treatments, scans and consults, but it feels a lot less stressful than what we experienced since the start of everything in January.

Susie has regained a good amount of her energy. It has been fun to see her engage with the kids, with friends, working out and other "normal" things. To keep up with it all, she is usually in bed by 8 or so as she is drained from the activities of the day.

Susie's last MRI came back with no reports of tumor growth. We are very thankful for that. The doctors are pleased with how well her body has handled her radiation and chemo therapy treatments. After some blood tests this week, she will begin a 6-8 month regimen of chemotherapy next week. It will be 5 days in a row of her chemo pills, and then 3 weeks off, for the next 6-8 months. They are hoping that between the radiation and the chemo, this will slow the tumor cells from forming into another tumor. Of course, we are hoping and praying the tumor will never grow back, but with her form of brain cancer, this is unlikely. We will be having MRI's every two months to monitor her brain.

My work has been gracious to extend to us a time of rest and recovery through the end of this year. We are very thankful for that. Part of this time will be used to figure out what role is next for us. We have had some preliminary discussions already, but will start some more direct and thorough conversations this week.

Your continued prayers and support are appreciated as we figure out what normal is for this next stage of life. It will continue to include doctors, treatments, scans, as well as friends that help with laundry, our kids, cleaning our house and so much more. Thanks to all of you who are helping in some way. Thanks for all of you who continue to bless us with monetary gifts or gift cards so we can have the help we need. Thanks to all of you who continue to pray for us.

"Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name." - Psalm 103

Blessings to each of you,

Ben for Team Thomas