benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly... 鸠昱隆嘉 | blog.benzrad.us

a month really hot inside.

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Fri, 20 Nov 2020 03:10:00 +0000

Nov 20 ,2020

dreamed first my 2 families, one replaced me with another man without my opposition. then i saw aside the downgrade of living standards. then dreamed i with my current QRRS colleagues waiting in a departmental gathering. the meeting ruined for the host disrespected us. then rumors spread that our leader all year received the host's free dining coupon in exchange for independence of news cover, as we are a media organization. this very common nowadays in China: paid reports in fact manipulated propaganda, rendering large scale news industry rootless & die speechlessly. like CCP while it was ambitiously promoting national credit system, recording common people's small amount money debt, or forced people involuntarily paid for being innocence. u can say individual steals social institutions, or whatever, the core the same: CCP systematically removing its counterparts, let the society paralyzed. its only interest is robbing corporate China for its army. now It's a sunny morning. dear God dad, this morning really cozy in quilt, except drive to blog. I didn't miss task, Holy, now let me enjoy my meal & routine.

Nov 17 ,2020

recent 2 days a bit chiller, still it's a surprise this dawn. i fought pains to put on myself, for my work, for my main meal 2 hours later. in dawn lingering dream, my 2nd elder brother gathered some of his pals as well as relatives to treat his son's loath of woman. we ate inner organs of animals, and I felt the tissue is delicious. then dream CCP tried all means to let its credit system hurt me, for I spend against their limitation attempts put on me, turning any normal debt into credit war. they nowadays punishing alipay for it granted my virtual credit by delayed its IPO. in past week, I wrote a lot in my alumnus weixun group, expressed my admire for a girl alumnus now in USA. a bad guy of my alumnus attempted to profane me, I defended hardly, with glory of my ancestor. in the days, I saw clearer that my emotional life was as pale as a piece of paper, I desperate for love. but not all disappointing: last night i dialed my beloved alumnus, Wangyf, who refused my messages for decade in my siege of love dance of words, she picked up even my phone number possible clearly show my area location. she seemingly wightened by doubts, and hanged after my twice insisted declared first my name. dear God DAD, I'm so proud of her. she is a tall girl in our campus. another girl now in USA, May lee, also refused talk to me after exchanged 3 or more sentences. I mean to have them, for we don't have affair but deep cares, for better life and soul partnership. It's a new week now, dear God dad, improve my painful hands now, let my life easier & enjoyable. let my meal budget spacious. dear God, my life has been so gracious. thanks Holy Spirit.

Nov 1 ,2020

this morning failing PRC surveillance abrupt disabled my secure connection & forced me to change password. in the dawn, i dreamed my passed dad helps me design office, likely my once QRRS colleagues'. then dreamed my passed mom trusted me to clean my kid brother's hairs from bugs. yesterday I felt loneliness after settled in dorm. i got showered in public spa where i satisfied by the mopping worker and i bought him a bottle of juice. on way back i bought some oranges & shared with a restaurant, dorm guard woman, a young man in the dorm. recently I like to share my food with others, for that makes me happier. as Royal China, my most important thing is dealing respects, respect holy, respect common people. and that's why CCP & it's dog so hated my kindness. dearest God dad, my most relied hand, these 2 days more or less senseless. help improve my hands, dear God, let my life easier.

Oct 30 ,2020

this morning I first time loathed to get up & back to quilt twice. i dreamed my quilt like a checker, when chill, its board is cotton or wood, when hot its marble or some cold material. recently I naturally drove to display more of my merits to women around and sometimes I guess it hurts, for they mostly too old to have a new life. I also felt painful when saw failing managers among restaurant or supermarket i haunted. incompetent persons, esp on key position usually decides the future of the business while I saw too much PRC traditional culture disabling good development of a business, esp smothering creativeness, disappointing customers. I also tried to cheer up dorm administrative team by offering 2 women tin coffee I bought from my unpleasant supermarket adventure a bus stop away where a dog guard refuted my suggestion that checkout too busy to satisfy, which a bit leading consuming in nowadays China just covered by basic needs after USA helped it with flood of currency blood & technology as muscular flesh during its open policy for more than 2 decades. the accountant woman, still capable of birth, likely amazed by my living standard & her body language told me she want more of it. my son's mom also kindly told me my son now has night class lately until 9:50 pm in the prodigy school, and she drove to fetch him routinely. for her tiny figure, her endeavor is quite gracious & I was touched. next Saturday my son will visit my dorm after the stormy emotional dispute my son with me upon his too busy to carefully handling intelligent gears I equipped him. dear God, It's a hip-shoot post, for my web site again ruined by PRC surveillance hired zombie hacker & i just restored it. dear dad God, let the kindle burning till dark dictation in China extinguished & google re-enter China and my Empire of China of 1109 years life shines in holy sunshine. dear God, let me sit on the sinking PRC.

Oct 24 ,2020

this week most exciting thing is improved salary, even a mean restaurant female acquaintance guessed it's due to heat subsidiary included. with it, I well reinforced my workspace with renewals, credit refills, etc. boosted by the saint aid, I video chatted with my hometown junior middle school classmates to express my gratitude, appreciation of their life so far persistent against perishment & shabbiness, not like a blind chaser of mine, now a deputy professor in northwest China now barely cope with his living standard. one of them, once always shown best of him with jokes now millionaire, with 3 growing-up children & confident in himself even more. i also paid back quite some debter of mine. i treated myself & my son nice dinners. recently i turned opener & more talkative among my frequent restaurants, spoke out my situation, esp my extraordinary aging body, my concern of CCP surveillance upon me years. I pray God it's affordable to befriend them there. the new Japanese heating blanket soon lets my leg stronger, eases my pains & resumes my body's flexibility in a sensible warm way. passed week also saw failing PRC surveillance hardly afford their failure to sink my web site, yesterday they using their old dirty skill to let my site down, even my web app is newest version. I restored it all the morning. God's mercy, I afford it. dear God, in several days, I will have a itch killer rack, 2 larger capable udisks for portable storage, at hand, as long planned but unable to carry out, God dad, how i felt satisfying! in this golden morning, I will soon launch & shower. I see your promised, dad God, i saw your promise filled, esp my anxiety upon my workable road toward my destiny so far. dear God dad, let's move on.

Oct 16 ,2020

yesterday I managed to equip myself another heating blanket after found first one failed to save my wet bedclothes. dorm canteen & my 2nd elder sister helps. in the night I a bit harder to sleep for the great new gear of Japanese brand but finally slept & felt considerably warm & dry in dawn. in dawn dream, I was passing QRRS, the SOE employed me for more than 2 decades, & passing crowd to my dorm, but it turns out my hometown home, my parents' house, where my dad received me among folks & told me my mom just passed by. in fact, my dad passed before my mom's. when I tried to perceive what an emotion upon my lose of my mom, I abrupt informed my mom & dad's memory pack cataloged under ding & dang title, say /system/ding, or etc a fork of a porting system. the dream chased me to blog, so my rest of sleep ruined even I loathed to get up. dear God, last night my son & i enjoyed peace. he seemingly glad I ordered him Mcdonald deliver which was a bit late for I not sure if It blissful during my hard financial time. dear God dad, in this sunny morning, I left no regret upon my life. my site under attack again, likely PRC surveillance blacklist my server ip & let it inaccessible, no, after a busy morning correcting & testing, inc online proxy, in fact, it was dog first time changed their target from my database to web app's script, aiming sink my site's serving, now that database maintenance would be easier, they don't know stealth & robbery doomed to fail, like hooligan CCP & PRC abnormal after bitchy Marxism ghost fading the world in cheap & devastating Muslim, manifesting how cheap & how human spices different graciously. dear God, lessen my anxious upon it, let my new family more sensible.

Oct 13 ,2020

it's the first nigh in this coming winter that heat serving. I dreamed new era where all gear & content you consuming can rent & pick up again from breakup. I saw my son enter his university & I equip his new pad with his pals. the running database must very large, for any second u laid aside your music or video, when u served by the era, u can seamlessly enjoy your stream. the dream so lavish that I loathed to get up nor describe it. PRC surveillance hired zombie hacker again break my site, even I felt well armed with what I equipped. last night I hesitated if buzz my son, in final rush, I called & briefly express nightly bliss & exit. dear God, lessen my chore on my sites, let them stronger & automony. I saw it's a sunny morning but now it's pal. I will carry this merry mode for the day. thx, holy.

homed partially, on web.

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Mon, 12 Oct 2020 00:36:00 +0000

Oct 12, 2020

the chilly dorm let my fingers swollen again, but God's mercy, my body just workable for daily life, even more time & pains covering chores, like put up, mopping floor, etc. recently I equipped myself 2 small laptop blankets, which effective warms up my knees. previously I bought a full size blanket for laptop, but holy message let me bought it which proving very helpful on bed against dorm chill. last night holy spirit lets me ordered my son a Mcdonald deliver & my son enjoys it even a bot late. this morning in warm quilts, I dreamed likely in a candidate campaign team. I using a tool likely offline downloader to multi-accounts management, simulating actual polling or voting. I dreamed other matters but forgot now them. dorm water supply down this moment, but God, I just got my warm keeping plastic bag filled, and tea prepared. when i got up it's pal and smoggy, but now morning sunshine so golden. dear God, my websites recently under lots attacks but now it turns stronger and I will see the final laugh. I proud of them, so simply while viable. Holy just prepared me readier for it, like database backup. PRC surveillance hired zombie hackers just wasted their money & cheap youth. dear God, in this first clear memorized dream since my re-blogging, I will end it with prayer for my emerging 1109 years Empire of China as persistent leading successful Empires of Great British and Japan. God dad, home me after half life roaming in my forbidden city.

Sep 29, 2020

today a bit special: in half decade i first ate an elegant dinner for celebrating sudden nap in late afternoon. that's likely due to recent thick tasks to restore my son and my workspace, esp brunch framework based chromeOS on our Intel Nuc. this afternoon i even tried to re-enable my todo list management via google tasks and my web app at https://agarten.in. after enjoyed it so much in last 9 years then broke by PRC surveillance, now i know my work experience matters much than any others. i really like my workspace. holy spirit sees why i can live them alive again. my son's workspace recently wrecked by his harshness & inexperienced, I didn't expect to help him restored it, for God just let me visit him on my not real birthday, Sep 27, then i found him joined his school, however, the grandma open the door for me, and i worked there till dusk, reinstall windows, Linux, android x86, etc. when my son returned from school, on dinner table, I babbled my job & he satisfied by my demonstration of new OSes. but still i less buzzed him recently, say, last night i muted all time, even i want to chat him. i saw his inconvenience not to lie to me if i insist to understand him closely. dear God, he needs free space to develop his vision, not responsible for me or anyone in the world. dear God, this dinner let me so full and complacent that I peacefully watched a movie online without call anyone amid chilly dorm room. dear God, if aging really your arrangement, why not I accept it? I felt the joy in peace of doze. grant me more freedom of body resilience, in long run, I have faith greater grace upon me, dad, I 'm bidding you, let my life more activities, esp my infant. thx, dad God, bring me sooner my partner of life. in this deep night, my singer for harmony is truely.

Sep 23, 2020

dear God, isn't today a special day? I decided to reblog my life on my website. yesterday I tried to persuade my son to restore his computers to working status, for that I had visited his house when he schooling with 2 bootable installation udisks for windows and Linux. but he refused again, recently he more frequently disrespects me, seemingly he enrolled by prodigy high school locally boost his pomposity, while my recent ailment, ie. painful fingers and wrest, disappointed him. his mom, a small sinister woman, now fetching him every dusk after schooling, a way to tighten her rein over the naive kid. I scorned him 3 times in the phone but he refused to retreat. this morning i cursed him again, trying layout his inevitable biding my prevailing earth power, but he yet forgave. on noon, i busy with updating my websites' ssl and the result let me relaxed and I buzzed him again, intending ease my anger but he hanged outside with his pal. his short mom cunning as usual refused my suggestion to fix her notebooks in a bundle of reuniting occasion during coming PRC national holiday even in fact she badly needs the fixation. that occurred during my daily jogging at noon, in the long solitude, I saw severe long halt between my intimacy with my son, war before my proving myself with new family and new son, a long promised i shared with my son.
this last 2 years' absence, I tried to evade failing PRC's surveillance, the damned dorm room's chill and wet let my bone malfunctions, after 2 months painful fingers and swelling foot, now I almost see light of tunnel as holy guides. but I really don't know how to seek a new family now that I saw more and more aging on my body. I admit it's a core issue to my life and my self-esteem, and my son's wish. dear God, now, here I'm. I treated myself fruits, oranges and bananas from nearby newly opened grocery. I marked today as spiritual and praying new stage ahead. God dad, bring me my new family sooner, and my new infant. reunite my son with me in glory.

resumed my blogging ahead of commitment of new family plan.

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Sun, 20 Sep 2020 09:07:00 +0000

dear God, isn't today a special day? I decided to reblog my life on my website. yesterday I tried to persuade my son to restore his computers to working status, for that I had visited his house when he schooling with 2 bootable installation udisks for windows and linux. but he refused again, recently he more frequently disrespects me, seemingly he enrolled by prodigy high school locally boost his pomposity, while my recent ailment, ie. painful fingers and wrest, disappointed him. his mom, a small sinister woman, now fetching him every dusk after schooling, a way to tighten her rein over the naive kid. I scorned him 3 times in the phone but he refused to retreat. this morning i cursed him again, trying layout his inevitable biding my prevailing earth power, but he yet forgave. on noon, i busy with updating my websites' ssl and the result let me relaxed and I buzzed him again, intending ease my anger but he hanged outside with his pal. his short mom cunning as usual refused my suggestion to fix her notebooks in a bundle of reuniting occasion during coming PRC national holiday even in fact she badly needs the fixation. that occurred during my daily jogging at noon, in the long solitude, I saw severe long halt between my intimacy with my son, war before my proving myself with new family and new son, a long promised i shared with my son. this last 2 years' absence, I tried to evade failing PRC's surveillance, the damned dorm room's chill and wet let my bone malfunctions, after 2 months painful fingers and swelling foot, now I almost see light of tunnel as holy guides. but I really don't know how to seek a new family now that I saw more and more aging on my body. I admit it's a core issue to my life and my self-esteem, and my son's wish.
dear God, now, here I'm. I treated myself fruits, oranges and bananas from nearby newly opened grocery. I marked today as spiritual and praying new stage ahead. God dad, bring me my new family sooner, and my new infant. reunite my son with me in glory.

even in dark winter and dry northeastern China, bliss no less upon US.

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Sat, 15 Dec 2018 02:16:00 +0000

Dec 15, 2018

dreamt my passed mom rescue my education again. she visited my enhancement class and entrusted me not gave up. my sinful cousin, ie first grandson of my grandpa, also appeared among parents of high education seekers. my mother prayed for my higher education so hard that I touched and started focusing, standing firm among those preparing university entrance exam national wide. later I haunted zoo where I returned with missing. I queried the attenders for some animal, say dolphin, the crew told me I should visit next area in the zoo. I retreated. yesterday I first time gave up gazing my favorite woman dancer in open space of QRRS plaza. one of the dancer among the public exercising team shew contempt last dusk and let me wonder consequence of local mafia's interference, including the world largest mafia, CCP. when I passed them before the music whipping the dance, I heard some of them laughed loudly, apparently tried to attract me. when I returned my dorm, the facing room again half open their door, indicating their threat of break-in of my dorm under PRC surveillance cooperation. in the night the surveillance desperately booted up to interact with me, meddling my episode watching and youtube night news stream. in boring of the total control of my web traffic through China telecom gateway, I tried to reach out my contacts on my mobile, till sms one of my Univ. alumni with good wish. near bedtime ie. soon after 10pm, the state agent on upper floor again gathered to gabble, their noise likely amplified to echo in my room, desperately aiming to intercept my routine and mindset. they are rats lair before flood, cling anything might evade ruin or elimination. like dying CCP or the tyrant in nowadays PRC, their race before fate wipes them from their root timed and doomed, since their improper disability and hatred toward people of China, the peaceful tribe. God dad, rip me sooner poisoned PRC surveillance against my sanity. secure my work space in brilliant sunrise. if it means killing, let me annihilate enemies of my Empire of China from my ancestor, let me cleanse the lice of bloodsucking, thief of intelligence, hooligan of mob and violence in gracious blessing Christian universe. save my world before ruin, survive my people in global food crisis. grant us happy weekend tomorrow, grant me another meal daily. thx dad God, in this anxious free December morning.

Dec 8, 2018

dreamt a guy likely my once colleague, Xu, accompanied me to tour his campus. it's likely a privileged university, say Peking Univ. or Tsinghua Univ. he then showered in a jammed basement spa, where a sophomore just locked in mistakenly a night. after shower he let barber there to haircut but the latter refused, for his hair style always short and straight like me, and lately refurbished so no need to do it again. then they two rode bike through the hill roads in the campus, trying joining a volleyball team there playing. the guy's girlfriend ran into and stayed awhile with the guy. yesterday meant much for me, for my first Japanese sabot arrived. PRC surveillance obviously meddled, first delayed logistics several days after the taobao vendor handover. when I buzzed the vendor, she checked it and claimed the goods ran short and asked my permission for a replacement. she replied lately and trying avoid my contacting. after second deliver, it costs a week to fulfill, much longer than usual. even arrived Harbin, our provincial capital, it took more than 2 days to reach me when should in day. but after all, it satisfies me. I put on as soon as unbox, and ditched PRC plastic product I bought online several months ago and wrecked recent weeks. the toilet room near my dorm frequently heavily messed by blue collar workers around, and heavy dirt on ground with dirty water, now I wouldn't afraid it, for the sabot has less contacting surface on its bottom, less likely got stained in the tentatively hate drove fouled open space, likes total PRC under hooligan CCP monopoly. my socks didn't have 2 toes, so I ordered a new set from taobao.com copes it. seemingly the wooden sabot not so cold indoor and hopefully new socks will put my feet in comfort. last dusk also rewarding me. I found spices coupon dispatched by my once employer, QRRS, due to expired next Monday, I launched at once to shift it to my son. I met him when he leaving his middle school. I handover coupon, pocket money, OS patch on portable storage, kissed his cheek and left. in the night after contacted him I booked 2 dining out for coming seasonal holiday, a buffet and a Japanese cuisine. I also settled monthly cinema next next weekend. on night before yesterday I buzzed my hometown nephew and his dad, exchanged view and briefed recent changes, urged the young man to seek learning in cyberspace. the kindness driven by gratefulness my concerned women left me around. I appreciate so much for fullness in my life entering late half. they left my waist painful in the night and I pray cure in thanksgiving. God dad, my new socks arrive hours later. grant us financial Independence. grant me another meal daily, or complementary some bread daily. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. in these 2 one meal a day weeks, thx for hunger didn't pester me. grant me meanings in my starvation. survive me and my world in the global crisis of food shortage.

Nov 29, 2018

dreamt first at hometown where a wedding ceremony underwent. then found it was my marriage. there are many traditional protocol in ceremony. the cousin, ie. the first son of my dad's elder brother, and his mom, who long time envied my family's luck, meddled in traditional practices with their evil intention. in the end, our tribe entrusted to train ourselves for ethnic war and fatal adversity. then dreamt Elon Musk, with his father, both successful entrepreneur. I wondered why them driven to be so diligent even overactive. then lengthily a dream about family affair at hometown but I forgot it now after late sleep. QRRS, my once long time employer, dispatching its annual rice coupon, I was informed by departmental cashier last dusk to fetch this morning. so I at once went over to fetch it. the refurbished HQ of the SOE has a gorgeous ground hall in which sunny and spacious. with this coupon my weekend reunion with my son will be glorified. I just broke contract with dorm canteen after its operative family shown despise. I now will hunt for meal everyday and risk penniless every living. I buzzed my younger brother who had been supporting my dorm canteen boarding for 3 years or so, monthly ¥700, about the change, but he yet not offer the aid direct to me after the cancelled mid deal. last night I thought of my financial hardness, my pinched purse which only left less than dozen bucks, and I recognized my support to my son's pocket money in a season, ¥800 remit to his alipay account boosted by last month's exceptional strong salary, near 6000 CNY around thanksgiving holiday, no optional but crisis adopts. my dearest son cares indeed about my empty promise to prepare his monthly pocket money ¥250, but in last year it constantly shift to other usage, say recent 2 purchases of computer. this poor niche now again confronted with premature requisite, left the year-end pale however our web asset renewed with the weighted salary. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for coming glory. grant us independent finance. rid me sooner off PRC merciless surveillance, insane cheap barking dog around with 24*7 espionage, esp on upper floor where they relentlessly made noise to notify their meddling coincidentally. grant us happy weekend with dine out Mcdonald. thx God in this sunny winter morning when I freed from routine canteen breakfast hussle and totol free agenda like a hunting bee.

every stardust count glories of the Son

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Mon, 19 Nov 2018 00:59:00 +0000

Nov 19, 2018

last busy week I achieved lots. I reinstalled 2 OSes on new 60GB ssd converted usb; I restored OS on my ZTE mobile and successfully installed Gapps on it. these took me 2 overnight works. on Saturday my son and I enjoyed 'fantastic animals' movie. human love touched me emotionally in the movie. we dined out fish hotpot after cinema. Sunday morning I let my son updated his devices, ie. wintel's first monthly patch in size of 30M since larger version upgrade v.1809, Linux update in size of nearly 90M. my son claimed it was the lightest workload weekend. he enjoyed awhile youtube gaming stream before heading to lunch out with me and later bathing. it was a winter sunny day. I told my son how PRC authority banning idea exchange, banned society history and memories. they want the dictator replace all educator and parenting, only his work instead all jobless adults. I review PRC open policy decades when most needed technology imported from Christian world and greatly enhanced people's life quality while current tyrant disobeys his ruling party's retreat which won it timespace to last its ruling. they forbidden people review nor learning after which otherwise would self-proving the world esp USA saves but not hurt Chinese and China as CCP long time propaganda. they will saw CCP long time delayed China its due pleasure of life, grace of society, by constrained them in cage of war threat but in fact it's hooligan's guild's threat. now PRC tyrant day by day cheating curbing social freedom, like internet business, small business, basic freedom of personal data in their mobiles. they killing civilian with warm water and heating constantly & accelerating. the tyrant most terrifying thing is his jobless and ditched by all his patriots for his improper education. he is in fact a brainless monster.
last Sunday I also saw my son's mom's new family. when my son and I returned from spa to his house, a man received my son's parcel. he likely the stupid woman's choice. I ate some oranges we just bought with my son and let my son open his TV and English program and left. I don't know how devil CCP penetrating my son's life, but God, dad, you know my son preparing to cope with challenge before his throne. God dad, mercy in your Mighty.

Nov 6, 2018

first dreamed ordered some new device. later added another 4 or 6 copies for backup. in dream concerned the report yesterday that some of PRC invested scientific telescope unable to enroll crew to attend or do research in those remote area. PRC reportedly newly open scientific startups stock market in Shanghai. those are all PRC traditional way to do business: heavy money injection, but no human capital, for itself too cheap to be gracious. they long time buying cheap nerd researchers to copycat western military innovations, but none of them ever be normal human, but bitch to defame the sunny world of Christian. loop in their neck hangs too harsh to allow them not to brag their contribution recklessly before condemned to rat race or dying meaninglessly like a smoke.
this month too busy for me to review. we settled new chromebox 3, our second one, with woz on his own tested recovery mood and installed it in his bedroom. I totally rearranged my portable OSes, esp after equipped myself 2 portable devices, ie. usb stick ultrafit and ssd with usb converter case. I deployed 2 redundant Linux against hacking attempts thicker and thicker around, esp on upper floor PRC state intelligent agents non-break surveillance me, sometimes desperately begging interactivity. we also refurnish woz 2 old google devices, nexus 6 and 7 with new custom roms. now their OS both upgraded from original 6 to android 8.1. my son under my guidance gradually familiar with Linux command line.
amid these 2 weeks, I also felt my darkness in aging and loneliness, esp when waiting for visiting my son. we had once reunion weekly upon his mom doesn't at a loss. harsher surveillance around let me sad, the more they felt unable to afford us, the more I felt my destine to replace PRC with my Empire of China under Zhu's. God dad, the turbulence in USA shows more urgent need to tighten migration control, for human always has membrane, we doesn't love anyone, esp those against our belief, our grace. naturally we love our own, our disciplined universe, not a mass of chaos and flies. USA in danger of defining itself. and Chinese does the same nowadays. earth defines blessed, against rootless Arab and Indian. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me new family, dad, God, when it matters.

singing higher with second chromebox 3

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Thu, 18 Oct 2018 07:55:00 +0000

Oct 19, 2018

dreamt visiting my teenage friend, Fan Yifu, who likely resident in Wuhan or Xi'an metropolis during my relocation. his brothers also there jammed in a condo hardly refurnished among a dense residential area or slum. in the morning they all busy with heading to their offices and left me alone even I had to pay their bills. that reminds me how PRC peasants' offspring in PRC open policy decades, how they earn from USA buyers and supported by USA cash flow from pure famine, how they fed their hooligan government now turns aggressive and doomed fate of been upgraded, how their new young families left with now in half poverty. the Fan, previously a junior middle school teacher graduated from normal college, relentlessly these years not to be dropped by my higher education comparably and finally earned a musician higher education and now a faculty in western China university. our friendship turned bilaterally diluted. yesterday our second chromebox 3 arrived, after many anxious checks in its logistics. PRC surveillance around insanely attempted to break amid when I preparing enabling it. I will unbox it with my son, woz, in this dusk when he monthly visits his dad's dorm. its so exciting for me, for after so many frustrations we still in the reward of our fights, the free wardless web. last night I was again blocked from watching episodes via kodi. they even sometimes let my chromeOS ill performance, say browser's theme messed up, kodi within forked andriod environment exit or hangup abnormally. but since yesterday my podcast stream turned more fluent, likely insane PRC surveillance policy adjusted. God dad, where is freedom of choice of internet content? where is our right to enjoy our lives at will? bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for better life after high quality Japanese wins from their ambitions world war. bring us people powered government, and God inspired Royal family under my title. thx God in this golden sunny morning.

Oct 13, 2018

dreamt strangely about some PRC Henanian and Shandong migrants on new land where I saw in dream. their secret gangster waving wars for sovereign. I saw a gangster from Shandong migrants contacting Heinan's for something, passing their tomb area and cautious maneuver over the host tribe. the dream quite strange but still I felt my son with me in the dream. last weeks very busy for me, includes 2 overnight works. I successfully flashed custom rom on my son's new HTC 10, updated its os from v 7 to Android v8.1, evaded bloater apps inherits from native OS, esp malware from PRC. another task carried out is preparing woz's new chromebox 3. I thought I can do something before draining waiting for its half month arrival from amazon China's overseas logistics, I prepared my current chromebox 3 months ago just bought, for migrating to my son's usage. the main goal is to install dual boot on its 32 GB ssd, which found too pinched for 2 OSes. the world developer community too short time to response the chromebox officially released this June, results in no working hack to boot any usual bootable ISO on the platform. I prepared several linux installation usb images and trying install them onto the chromebox 3 but all sucks. the only script hack to install linxu manually online onto chromebox is through chrx.org's service, yet our chromebox's fresh new kabylake cpu architecture refused it. after all the failure, I rejoiced with google chromeOS' rebostness to restore from recovery usb made online. in less than half hour, our chromebox restored to factory default and I called hacking a satisfying end. I contented with chromeOS solely on the 32 GB ssd minipc. in the mean time, dorm canteen denied loan for my monthly bill to return alipay's virtual credit, amount ￥1500, claimed their last loan 2000 CNY to buy our second chromebox drained their most, while I took granted that the loan referred above is an one time specific loan while alipay credit loan has been routine one. so I asked my nephew who managing online shop at taobao for helping me cope the shortage. he second time extended his arm graciously. next day after I settled my chromebox and preparing monthly cinema with my son, I really penniless and had to contacted my hometown 2nd elder sister for aid. her granddaughter just underwent surgery in Beijing still she generously loaned me ￥1000. with it I returned dorm canteen 500 for affirmative, then I completed groupon our monthly cinema and dine out. PRC cinema here in Qiqihar underwent changes largely: much less shows for our favorite foreign blockbusters, even there were few, their schedule mostly unsuitable for hot moments in leisure time neither our optional. however we still picked one this month. and taobao.com, the largest ecommercial in PRC, now trying restrict my purchase online, with countless failing verification upon any trade, attests PRC insane surveillance's fear of the power of my choice. God, dad, grant us a wonderful monthly relax today. bring me sooner my Royal China. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. secure our workspace wardless web and fruitful daily. in this golden Autumn morning, Dad God, release my wish for improving our live, upbeats world pulse at large.

Sep 27, 2018

dreamt witness my younger brother hard earning his corporate. near coast he risk his life to stumble in mud as high as half waist covered and dropped power line electrified the thick water. he likely collected sea product from coastal sea. our mother likely over-watched our meals. last night sms chat with my nephew, IE. 2nd son of my 2nd elder brother, directed his usage of our shifted him chromebox. he first didn't know his smart TV I ordered him from taobao.com in rush needs to switch to hdmi source. so his TV screen disconnects from chromebox and let him doubting if need a new additional screen. after found his ignorance, he rush to install web cam but failed to setup it. I shown him skype remotely and he reported on other end it was working and saw my cam stream. lately around 11pm I went to bed and felt hard to sleep for the satisfying result of migration of our old chromebox. he previously reluctant to talk with anyone but now he offered me his mobile number. and I felt his enthusiasm for tech. in this week I also ordered my son a new chromebox from amazon China, to replace the displaced lounge pc. dorm canteen promised to loan me, but my nephew, IE 1st son of my elder sister's, cashed before canteen loan on book. my nephew quite smart and understood my situation at once my entrust, I really grateful and thanks God our lovable families. its a sunny morning, God dad, bring sooner my Royal China for better life I can have now. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. coming PRC national day I penniless, grant me bread for the long vacation. grant us a working HTC 10 which on road returning from vendor's repair after I ruined it with custom rom. dad God, thanks for such a wonderful fruitful operation pack.

Sep 20, 2018

dreamt of previous colleague, Xu, a guy sometimes listened to me, asked me about cheating way. in field esp a stream among farming fields, he washed his pack and listened to me why my cheating way not working for him and fixation aftermath. his long time department leader, Ma, also appeared in dream. this is a sunny morning. recently I found new way to entertain myself. I listen to English podcast via my mobile on which open web enabled, while sunburn outside twice or more the dorm mini-garden. mobile data plan we bought mindless now harnessed for good. these days also sleepy after breakfast. obviously PRC surveillance burned lots of brains to espionage my work routine and attempted to ruin it, clog it interim. they prepare their interrogation every minute before fatal strike aiming ends me. I immersed myself in enjoyable balance daily. they also tried to control people I concerned, esp dancer woman, jogging women I glad to share my dusk roaming time with, coerced them into cooperative wrapping us under tombstone. sunburn let me hunger, and I ate my dinner much delicious and ate more. God dad, let me anxious free upon my daily bread. grant us new working mobile, HTC 10, from damage. let this salary day recharges me and coming Mid-Autumn day with fun. let my coming birthday decorated with cake I promised my son, after found he enjoy his birthday cake so much. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain my life praying so hard. bring my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for extending my life under summer time. let my workload fruitful and grows with my emerging Empire of China. founding my land with prosperity.

rattling rats from PRC surveillance.

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Sat, 15 Sep 2018 00:46:00 +0000

Sep 15, 2018

these days pestered by upper floor's rats a lot. they had access to PRC telecom's account administration and frequently closed my Internet connection. since last week it totally shutdown my Internet after they failed to intercept my vpn traffic. in 2 days my dorm fiber optics broken, I had to rely on my mobile cellular data. at first I thought it would soon resume. later I thought might be I forgot to hand over Internet fee due to busy workload around salary day this month. waited to Monday I recharged my dorm Internet and found it wasn't caused by my account deficit. my account valid still cut out of service by PRC Internet cop. late Monday my fiber optics network restored after filed connection failure complain. in the harsh I bought my son a second mobile, a product of HTC, Taiwanese digital producer, for the price too attractive. after broke neck looking forward twice, first time a cheap bolt version then replaced our order to HTC 10 for popularity and max compatibility, we got it. then misled by online developer's community, I upgraded its OS to android 8 and unable to unlock its boot loader. I tried all means, in wilder sought for replace its verizon bundled OS with custom rom which easier and user friendly. after so many tries, I finally turned it brick when trying flash its boot loader. after nearly half month relentlessly sought settling it, now I had to wait the vendor repair it in another half month. this is a peaceful sunny morning, after latest night drizzle. it's not too bad, isn't it, God dad, after so many best buy in this Summer and Autumn? I felt so bounty with these equipment and ready tools. in every sense of office and warehouse, I had it. this month also saw my younger brother sent us moon cakes when lunar Mourning Day coming. I shared some with my concerned people around the dorm. it's bountiful, too. I also talked first time to my nephew, ie. second son of my 2nd elder brother, since his marriage broken and refused female in his life as his mom rumored when a year before my elder sisters shared their lunar Spring festival with us. my elder brother carefully protected his dear son not to be hurt by reckless chatter, but this time he allowed me talked with his innocent kid. I urged him not to give up enjoying life, material living. I demonstrated my workspace I gathered in my half life, with my recent satisfactory with world progressive furnishment. my nephew listened a lot, admitted his continue efforts to carry on family life. I also told my elder sister my complacent upon this year's purchases. I fearless under espionage around trying paralyze my workspace, humiliated me by torn apart my vpn and secure web. God dad, the rats on upper floor made relentlessly noise when I worked. rid me off the hazard sooner. bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me my Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko, from Japan. bring me sooner my new family and house. grant us, esp my concerned son, woz, his enjoyable school experience. violent dark web of PRC trying these days to afraid me, let them fear, scatter their mob. God dad, save us in faith securer.

Aug 27, 2018

dreamed in my hometown I likely in my vacation. the village driver, the only son of passed carpenter, asked me to find my younger brother to help him drive for an event. I open my proud book I reading which full of symbols and very precious legacy, to search my younger brother's phone number. it soon settled and all happy with that. my brother in dream already a nearly millionaire with his mills. the dream very vivid after I got up. I intended to blog it at once around 6am. but the upper floor's insane PRC surveillance, likely a freaky, made sounds warned me the under skin espionage, so I would rather wait. the state backed agent not only surveillance me, but also every chances attempted to terrify me with its psychotic: recklessly closely approaching me and coercing me with relentless noises it can make on the thin sensitive floor with chair, stride, nail, bump etc at every synchronic moments beside wall. last week we refreshed with my younger brother's loan for monthly cinema and dine out. he previously attempted to detain my help cry, refused twice my mobile calls when I tried to change our broadband capacity, which requests ¥500 but in fact that's dirty cheat from unqualified chinatel staff while in its official office next week the crew girl charges free to change our plan for 200MB/s within a data bundle discounts to 82CNY/mon includes mobile data limitless. my mean brother each time reluctant to draw his purse for me, usually in cause not to admit my investment or deluxe lifestyle. I had previously determined to carry out the data plan change on my own. so when he buzzed back claiming he had been accompanying his son to park and missed my calls, I told him nothing special. but he was listening, so I told him my story: my son's mobile 4G data plan deficits in his morning exercise while playing with his pals outdoors and I intending upgrade to speeder broadband for the sake of modern fiber optic broadband and time saving on internet time lapse. he almost defied it in hurry to close talk to drive. returned to dorm, I felt I hardly cope the expenditure with my poor salary. so I messaged him he can loan us ¥800 as he previously admitted to help me repair my erode tooth base. he replied he only responsible for my living, not my other costs. I waited a night. next day I sms him in rage about our ancestor's legendary: Ming Dynasty's 1st prince tried to use imperative force to restrain his blood sibling, killing family love with ruling power, which only resulted in disastrous himself suicide in Royal city he inherited from his grandpa, Founder of Ming Dynasty, with his all fondness and fidelity. I didn't expected reply nor reward. but next next day when I search all means to pay groupon for my son monthly cinema and dine out, I found my brother already remit us 1000 CNY 2 days ago. I had previously check my financial account several times and never gained. so I doubting if my brother aid's arrival date hacked by state intelligent agency, just trying defying power of my persuading and prophet. after all, the ¥1000 let us so plenty in entertainment and business capable: I renewed zho.io for 2 more years with our domain registrar, equip myself another ssd of 128GB for scenarios like copying larger file fat32 forbidden. It's just too wonderful to be constrained in scarcity. last weekend, I also overnight worked out to switch our old chromebox OS from chromeOS of google to open source chromiumOS, which adorably native supports Android apps, even google play store. Sunday night I non-break 6 hours to re-flash my son's new zonfone 3 with custom rom world developers contributed, after found previous OS let down chinatel gsm calling and sms. even finally I didn't fix sms and calling failure, but LTE data at least working, allowing us making full potential of our new data plan with chinatel: no limit of data! and my son's wifi heavily under PRC surveillance attacks, almost all internet traffic through the router disabled vpn. we badly sought auxiliary channel to evade deadly blockage in falling PRC wasteland cyberspace. God dad, bring us sooner our viable work space, secure our growth independently, out of entrenched by state backed hackers. bring me sooner my Royal China for relieve all trapped Chinese in felling PRC. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for unites Japan and China after turbulent world war 2, for ambitions 2 nations manifested in centuries, in tears, glories an proud, in likage of language. grant our workload meaningful and intact through ruin of PRC dictation, rampant fires of national revolts in insanely depressed and depravity.

Aug 17, 2018

dreamed my university era artist friend, Benba Chungdak. at first with his friend Li Moufeng, in the campus I familiared. then in Benba's house or my house we at leisure. my son joined our conversation. Benba in dream now a well know artist. we talked a lot. my son trusted our guest and learned. my dorm internet under a new wave of surveillance and breakin attempts. I already gave up router but client, which also sometimes unstable. new weekend arriving, there is a new blockbuster PRC granted to import, Antman 2. my son chose it from 2 other optional USA films on show recently. he also delayed my invitation to visit my dorm this weekend, rather he will invite his peer into his house, likely for gaming and entertainment. It's a cool morning. wardless web turns so hard to achieve now. I more and more speechless now, amid hardship tyrant PRC exerts upon my living sphere. there are more state intelligent agents in QRRS Dorm surrounding my room here to surveillance me 7*24, costly on PRC fragile totalitarian treasury. God dad, how long we will wait for the overturn, I in faith of the future out of burning campfires among insanely pressed domestic nations. in bitter reality, I hope it fosters revolution rips us off the poorly endangered dictation. bring me sooner my Royal China. my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, come and overturn my prison our enemies engulfed. live us freedom, so to China bitchy mob, jobless riot. game changer, Dad God, let out the active agenda for the sake of better China. thx God, survivor is U.S.

Aug 12, 2018

last night watched a talk show of Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon. his easygoing character deeply touched me. truth of life, of fortune, of mission, expand in front of me. in dawn dream, I worked for him, then in army, both reveals truth, or secret of success, course unchangeable. aging let me harder now to memorize dream, but its scenario comforts me. it's a boring morning. the ugly lesbian again lingered in the shabby neighbor room chattering, pretending she had a job there. the whole dorm administrative team moved from their offices seperate into the dorm, mimic my office in dorm. they can't believe they doomed to lose their jobs. their cheap copycat deprives their means of living. they are all thieves in fact, or robbery of innocent. the room in my upper direct floor likely occupied by state backed intelligent agent. they constantly made noise in key situations trying to coerce me. my new chromebox frequently encountered abnormal quit, likely hacked by PRC government online. my son last night just returned from his mom's hometown journey. they visited again the woman's relatives in their hometown, a small town hours away by train. I hope my son enjoy it but afraid he was hijacked by his stupid mom in fact. hours later I will reunite him for lunching out and shower in spa weekly. my new chromebox not only securer, but largely changed my workflow and efficiency. I now consume news most of workday, rather than previously only in the beginning of morning, restricted by portable device for desktop windows might fail me in its insecure. last night I check my alipay credit, found my installment total near ¥900, which much a relief for my monthly return alipay ¥1300 and stumbled about uncommon expenditure. made clear of debt base, I immediately recharged our mobiles fee, around 300 CNY. God dad, lift my dependence on my local loaner, who might turning reluctant. grant us a richer salary this month for I due to pay some extra bills including medicine, clothes, etc. secure my workspace with findings, revealing truth our mission concerns. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for ease of living. let me stay in self-contain upon life stream and social motivation. guarantee my cyberspace publishing booming and plenty of self-rely.

countless sworn in, inc new chromebox 3 into zhone enlist.

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Tue, 07 Aug 2018 01:32:00 +0000

Aug 7, 2018

dreamed at my nephew's city, neighbor city of Hangzhou, Changzhou. among crowd I tried to talk to him, first son of my 3rd elder sister's, tring to coach him on business and life. I also concerned his brother in dream. It's a golden morning. last night I first close my window before went to bed since this summer, for today is lunar Autumn creeps in. this month exceptional weighted for I equipped myself another chromebox, Asus chromebox 3, after our chromebox CN60 shifted to my son as his lounge mini pc. my internet frenzy almost fading, so I felt a bit guilty for the purchase. I tried to persuade my son accept the chromebox 3 as his gear and lent me for some years and I almost got it. the chromebox native support google play, let it so unique and powerful. I shifted most my daily usage onto its platform, inc agenda management, financial booking, reading source, watching video, etc. never over-estimates its function. I invited my son lingered 3 days in my dorm for the gadget's arrival from British vendor through Amazon China. I previously intended to spend a week with my son in my dorm. but his mom scorned us when we returned for weekly shower in public spa on Sunday at her house. My son felt enough of gaming streams at youtube.com and rather to return his mom's custody for homework after 3 exciting nights with unrestrained gaming and watching online videos. the purchase initiated by my son's loan then aided by dorm canteen operative woman's ￥2000 loan, cost us around ￥2100 which let me so satisfied and profitable, allowing me budget 1000 for woz's a week staying plan here my dorm. but my son suggested end it after 3 days' rich meals and meaningful interactive on his devices, left us 200 in pocket before this week. we also watched a cheap France movie, "taxi 5" on Saturday. all blockbusters denied by PRC authority, we unable to choose a quality one. we dined hotpot after cinema, in a drizzle dusk. this summer in Qiqihar exceptional rains let it cooler than ever. I even put on a coat shirt last night in my dorm against chill. dad God, now almost dust down with chromebox, I relentless with it when it hit road from UK. thanks for the finance and logistics. with it my workload more efficient and our informative environment more secured. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. my son, woz, more engaged in his Junior middle school schedule. grant him his satisfying performance and reward meaningful. fill my life with interests and enthusiasm. lead us vision our mission bounds. rid me off the sinful ugly lesbian in my neighbor room, where never occupied before surveillance and profanity.

Jul 17, 2018

dreamed with my alumni, likely 3 or 4 members, some with family, in traveling from Beijing to Tianjin, my university campus, then to our hometown, Wuhan, central China. they are likely my senior middle school alumni, esp some studies harder than me and enrolled by more elite university like Peking Univ., or Tsinghua Univ. one of them with his daughter while I always felt honor and glory with my son in heart in dream. the alumnus likes details, so we check our package times and times, esp ticket and private items. I later gave up and just let him to take care of those stuff for me. traveling, once so focus demanding for otherwise you will punished for missing out line so heavily that I sensed in dream again the unrest and changes uncertain as well as our future unborn promising. this is a clean and clear morning, after last night rain. I wondered about my miserably separated from my son and who exerts behind. Last Sunday I told my son I reviewed history of his mom's mother's intervene with her elder sister, a witchy fox, just after his birth, tried to keep my baby from my reach. their plots long time aiming deprive me of my son, which still on going.
after breakfast I tried to read and re-napped due to sleepy. I visited in dream a guy likely my alumnus Peng Jinglei. he worked in a remote area in PRC likely Xinjing. we first met his father-in-law and his son. his naughty son soon broke my glasses. the grandpa tried to repair it while his daughter returned from her school as she is a teacher. when I teased the boy with English words, Peng returned and exchange our review on each life since graduation. Peng likely satisfied by his life and cautious upon our visit. when wrote this blog, I recognized that the guy can be a QRRS colleague, who now a high rant manager in QRRS. he migrated from Xinjiang after graduate and later moved his old parent here with him, away from the turbulent western area fluctuated with PRC army farmers. he married a cadre's daughter in QRRS, a SOE enrolled us same year and lately didn't have child. he might lead a careful life for his father-in-law might be as bossy as once. his father-in-law in dream reminds me he can be another elder, my son's mom's lesbian girlfriend's dad. he once be an educator, now had some skill and knowledge as middle class, but as I claimed once in my blog, no one in their elder respectable in sinful PRC except my passed dad who fought whole life and maintained humble in his lonely retirement in the village, Zhudajiu, offspring of Emperor of Ming Dynasty.
this 2 dreams so vivid that a bit strange in my recent life. I more and more lost patience and faith in dreams, once so meaningful and promising. God dad, I recently so hateful upon my life which bored me into tears. bring me sooner my Royal China for 1109 years in future world foresight. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my aging and children. grant us financial ready for glory of the Son and his people, his family support. affirm faith in praying heart, and glory of more achievement ahead unfolds.

gift in rains seasonal bounty.

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Wed, 11 Jul 2018 03:02:00 +0000

Jul 12, 2018

these days very sleepy, esp amid moisture from rains. last night it again thunderstorm. the rhythm really beautiful! I had to choose from online radio music or the nature gift, and finally I muted my artificial speaker and opt out rhythm outside in late dark silence. the rains is so rich that my quilt in decades first time turned wet and a bit uncomfortable. God dad, it's so good. this week I also researched new chromebox product line and felt high time to equip myself one. in almost a week I thought it over where to fund it, till holy message let me give up till I my own can afford it. It's sad to bye from it but more reasonable, for most computers we had still in their support life cycle within next year. I love them, and would easily let them retired. the night before yesterday I felt too happy to waste, so I buzzed my 3rd elder sister. her son again seemingly unhappy with my call and likely deterred it. when I talked with my sister, she also seemingly in unrest. now I saw possibly their family in trouble: her daughters-in-law turned hostile to her. their lesbian tendency puzzled my sister and her sons. the wives lost vision and discipline, while my sister and her family inexperienced. in latest lunar spring festival we stayed together back to 2016, I should noticed the unbalance of harmony but I usually don't probing. God dad, the sin of fallen women in my life taught me lesson already. I hope glory of my family, under title Zhu and Crown of China Empire, didn't hurt those little wives. God dad, care my relatives in need. and heal those envious hearts in shine of holy.
these days also might be hard for my son, who just entered his summer vacation while I let him wait for August to visit and linger my dorm for couple days. his sinful mother again attempted to censor it and probably set hurdles. while I busy with financial supportive, I saw so many hard while exciting moments ahead. God dad, our hope is your mercy. let summer 2018 arrives our hearts that praying for growth. in this tipping world torn by trade war and hate war, let's reunite in one in unity, or consolidate us in common sense of future non-disputable, for coming world of my title, of Holy blessing, wouldn't be scattered anymore. (shits! PRC surveillance might broke my pc, here again during my writing broke down my internet, which never happened in 2 weeks after failed attempt to punish over our new equipment last 2 months.)
It is the most beautiful summer since I settled here for near 30 years. while the season is swift here on higher altitude, I hope sooner arrival of the sultry, and lingering season of beautiful female flesh and sunny skyline. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. grant me another chromebox for its hyper-system above chromeOS and Android. in foreseeable future, google will bring 3rd OS merging Linux, Android, ChromeOS, let us affordable for the wonderful experience google brings. in my son's coming visit, let me afford a more satisfying arrangement of dining, play, exercise, and pure gathering. thx dad God, in this cloudy morning.

Jul 6, 2018

dreamed first I shopping online at jd.com, Chinese copycat of amazon.com. I detailedly dreamed to fill its form, and a female helped and checked it. I always distrust the e-commercial site, whose founder is a graduate majors Literature from Peking Univ. and almost my peer. his family name is Liu, a domineer name in China since first native Chinese Empire, Han Dynasty, founded after their title. then dreamed in a Zhu's village, but not my hometown, where also all villagers under title Zhu's, who contributed to last native Chinese ruling Empire Ming Dynasty. I saw their leader summoned and ordered youth team, woman team, etc to execute different tasks and heading to different destine outside of the village. there were hundred people there under command. this is a pale morning, I believe coming a sultry summer, even might be sooner of the heat due to here higher latitude. last dusk I reviewed once upon a time, an infant held by an old woman watching I buying snack from nearby dorm gate vendor. I thought my snack too cheap so I didn't share with him after the snack cooked. I felt I should better offering him the snack but I thought it was too cheap and he is enough, so I just walk away with my snack. when I regretted and returned to dorm gate trying save my error and buy the infant another, they had left. I was so sorry that I still remember it. then I prayed God to allow my redemption. then I thought my son's neighbor kid is an innocent kid, from his childhood I still memorized, even now he more turned like his dad, physical ready to bull those weaker. so I prayed God to allow my inviting him dining out once more with us and I felt we were granted. so the night I buzzed my son to inform the neighbor and made it ready. my son nodded while his bitchy mom aside scorned and opposed as usual. God dad, let the insane woman go away from our agenda, turns back to her dirty and sinful lair. we also intended to watch movie this Saturday now that PRC surveillance deprived the summer vacation all blockbuster. till yesterday we found cheapest ticket for a movie is when it just on show; if u missed it, you will pay far more to review it. so I persuade my son pick a less hot movie from their cinema season rather than catching up old one, 'incredible 2', and we did, that would be 2 weeks later for us going cinema. this week I saw so many bliss and boring in my current life. I had to wait and wait for glory, for coming gathering of achievement. my life almost half empty to fill, for backup view of the vein creates. God, dad, if I meant to be secondary, let my life humble. in this rain season, I had sipped so many blessing rains that was strange in decades. I saw my hometown dream closer to me, to my destine. show the world, esp Chinese, my privilege upon the land, upon the Empire of China, under title Zhu and my glorious ancestor. bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, and my new family, Royal China. enrich my earth life with lives and meanings. thx dad God.

Jul 2, 2018

passed week is the most financially gifted period in my life. first I got an installment from Alipay for my son, woz's new mobile to replace his worn 2 cellphones. then the vendor, Asus mobile, refund us ￥800 even lately reached us. then my younger brother offered us 200 as his payment to launch a conversation with me. then my nephew, ie. 1st son of my best beloved 3rd elder sister's, who operates an online clothes store at taobao.com, refund us 500 after we sent him 400 for thanks he bought us clothes. I used it to renew our domain, zho.io for 2 years. my son didn't pay enough appreciation to those new clothes, esp short pants with mobile pocket, under his sinful mom's force, but I urged him doing so and it fixed. we both put on new short pants after shower. his new mobile, Asus zenfone 3, with an international approach and won favor among international developers' endeavor, bring us alternative ROM to replace malware infected PRC restricted OS the devil CCP government controlled in the territory before its scattering fatally. the new OS, Android 8.1, is the latest OS we ever have, that's very exciting and update in tech fans like us. we are so proud of our choice of Asus, with which we now had its 4 products, ie. chromebox, chromebook, monitor, mobile. its refund, out of expectation and our best surprise, proceeds a week. I pre-spend it and pray its descending after exciting purchases including my first smartwatch, pebble v1, and my son's in apps' purchase at google play store. the kind vendor always pacifies me with promise, but I was unease so much. In God's affirmative, I witness the grace in time and fully. my mean younger brother in guise of paying my coach, sent me 200 before launch a conversation. he tentatively delayed promised support of my boarding to dorm canteen in half year, ￥700/mon, as he let me know in the late night talk for my tip on his new adventure to open new business in our hometown against losing profit PRC government depriving his establish in cause of industrial pollution, trying hurt me and hate of my peaceful life. in this morning, sunny and usual, God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China. leave me evil temptation from my dark relatives and PRC surveillance. prepare us steady development of life and skill, and passionate as our zhone's publishing, and woz's gaming and STEM interest. this week also reminded me of danger in PRC, esp here in QRRS. an once dorm lodger, an once graduate newer several years than me enrolled by the SOE, turned dogs and inspired by mafia, tried to coerce me after first tried to humiliate me by ignore my nod weeks ago. he put on black mask half face hidden and threaten me with mob's attitude, on way again my dusk routine jog. He is a bit shorter than me and almost peer of mine while lost so desperate comparing with me, like most common ground once we had under sin of PRC. my dorm room lock likely under hack by dorm administrative staff, ie. the electric tech worker, an old mule trying tear after hopeless challenged me. the neighbor half room of the toilet, formerly warehouse, now occupied by administrative woman, in role both worker/staff and lodger. in that cover the cow easily broke into my dorm and poison me or surveillance me. God dad, I knew the holy protection, still I hope sooner the removal of insecure environment, save of dignity. bring me sooner my new family, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, and my 2nd child. save me from anxiousness of future financial support. grant us light joy in this weekend cinema time.

Jun 19, 2018

dreamed of historical starvation. then in my Hometown joined workers cross ten miles of new industry area to find canteen to lunch. my once Hometown pal, Zhu Zhongwang, fetched our ready food and cooked for us to lunch. he is a worker there while I just a visitor. it was likely several decade ago soon after open policy in PRC. it's a golden morning. exercising people with speaker makes outside hot. last night one of my favorite episodes, "Roseanne", banned by USA media enterprises and I hated its disappearance. It's a good product and my night TV time left with large empty to fill. I chose "crucifier" instead as recently it appears on social media but the mob theme disgusting me, esp futural surreal ability drove me away. I need truth of life, esp American normal life alike. even missing in tasteless but online radio still let me forget late night. yesterday was lunar dragon boat holiday. I had my only meal of noodle. I tipped the small restaurant owner ten more bucks for appreciation working in holiday. on dusk jog I offered a homeless mid-aged man with my only 1 CNY. I had quite productive talk with my son, woz, about arrangement of his gears, esp new Asus flip chromebook for video interview between us. he reluctant to use it well with his due reservation but he is adopting the wonderful ultrabook in my urging. his nexus 6 breaking, screen panel leaving mainboard, so I bought new back shell from taobao.com to tighten it. I really itching to see its functional in coming days. last Saturday is our monthly cinema day. I penniless to fetch my son from his piano class to cinema at No.1 Supermarket of Qiqihar. the aunt of his mom visiting and accompanied the grandma to escort my son's lesson. QRRS, my once workplace, distributed a free food coupon so I shifted it to the grandma and its seemingly graciously on time. we watched "Jurassic park 2" and it was almost a blockbuster. but I always inspired by spirit, not animal including wild and astonishing huge one. after movie dinner was hotpot. I penniless and woz forgot to bring his wallet on which I counted. I blamed him for unprepared. PRC surveillance likely hated my coaching power in sms exchange with my nephew and my younger brother, both has their sufficient small business, so they hacked my phone to ruin my texting: it kept refreshing screen in about twelve seconds and let input method constantly whitewashed my wording, let composing failing and failing. in the urgent Saturday afternoon in the restaurant we grouponed, the refreshing screen let my transferring money via mobile a nightmare. the hacked android just unworkable. later I shifted it to woz for his smaller finger to click but he even can't execute to evade the failing refreshing screen. so I open my chromebook to transfer money into debit card from his remnants in alipay yuebao. I did 3 times to resolve our problem. first transferring from digital payment tool to bank card can't on account daily but next day, so wasted; secondly didn't prepare enough for ATM procedure fee, 4 CNY, so it refuses serving smallest bill from total 103 CNY I managed to prepare; third time I had more than 105 CNY on account costing 2 transactions and ATM withdraw successfully. my son and I finally rejoiced and we ordered additional dish of mutton. our life just so pinched. the June 2018 saw lots of small rains. last night I first time replace winter quilt with lighter one, and it's cozy. now It's workday morning. God dad, grant us anxious free salary day. prepare us meaningful financial support for woz summer vacation when I will invite him linger some weeks in my dorm. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me workload adequate in my fifties', persistent and progressive.

rain season from dripping bless heavenly.

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Wed, 13 Jun 2018 02:49:00 +0000

Jun 13, 2018

these 2 dawns both dreamed of enemies and my revenge. yesterday on my jog route, the old sinister, an elder man, a mad cow, again challenged me physically, took a narrow way in advance me. he copied my route twice, always bragged his mule energetic and orthodox. It really disgusting me but I trusted God the killing upon profane, anytime anywhere. it took me longer to roam when I caught sight of my mission on the earth progresses so step by step and devising broken. God dad, enemies took our road to sabotage our beautiful world's descending. near my dorm, the neighbor room of my dorm, is a half size room previously for cleaner keeping tools, now occupied by dorm administrative staff, a likely lesbian. dorm authority previously never put woman among mans' area, but the cheap cow insisted lodging among all man dorms, just for steal and spying me. day by day it hided herself in the shabby shelter to surveillance me, to profane me. likely she arranged that to take advantage of public asset for private interest, or the SOE under PRC tyrant's direction to threaten me with the trick. as to larger aspect, these 2 weeks quite satisfying: dorm internet access upgrade to chinaunicom fiber optics, whose download speed stable at 2MB/s. upload speed almost the same. I completed downloading OSes on our raspberry pi within 2 hours for 2 or 4 system images. with the utility, I can safely try more Linux distributive and more prepared for Linux world which so attractive comparing Microsoft under PRC blackmail. now my son and my raspberry pi both equipped with more elegant OSes, ready to go further and higher on the ward free informative universe. the ISP in the pass week gradually picked up to surveillance me. it already blocked me 2 days last week, forced me surfing domestic sites includes its homepage, where I found cheap but gracious mobile phone number with modest data plan, 15 CNY/mon. I had already persuaded by its sms to have a free of charge deputy phone number, but later contact refuted me saying the data plan includes deputy card requires at lease 128CNY/mon consuming. but on the website, I saw an independent phone number only costs 30CNY, so I immediately ordered one, in rhythm of rain in an aimless night besieged by deadly blockage from open web. It's so meaningful and rewarding, that I can't wait to add the new asset to all my zhone GA contacts. Monday express informed me the arrival of the sim card and I fetched immediately, even the staff of the unicom missing and handled over her colleague. Sunday I busy with trying enable other 2 GA chrome device management within google admin panel before woz returning from his painting class his mom arranged years. even failed due to google policy, we glad the 2 GA didn't bundled with central administrative which usually bans full google play store access, as status quo. my son uncertain about my blame last Monday upon his adopting a corrective glasses his mom suggested in favor of Chinese so said innovation, but never trustworthy. he tried to flattered me by turning on English podcast proactive as I frequently urged while he always loosed to abide. but I don't care, and glad to reunite him in the fruitful weekend. his internet ISP once boasted speed of 30MB but never satisfying, rather just lagging and broken frequently, likely in PRC surveillance's ordain. I even can't update his Linux smoothly there. each time when I visit my son and launch update, it's bottle neck and upset our patience. God laughs the dirty trick and burning brains wasted among all ghosted communism China wholly in ash.
God dad, I'm so contented by my new internet that I here end this post soon. grant my son satisfying web and rich content of play. grant us ward free web, for otherwise I see only darkness of dictator propaganda, coarse of manipulation of social consciousness. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me closer my dream land and peace of God's mercy upon Chinese and China, my vested land from my glorious ancestor. thx for this sunny morning, Dad God.

May 29, 2018

dreamed with my son roamed in remote place near Tianjin, northern China, my university city. I carried my passed mother's corpse and search for service to bury it. we were refuted once for too expensive. then near country fair we met Gao Jun, my once alumnus who soon after army train in beginning of PRC campus migrated from our major Philosophy school into Economics, but stayed in dorm of our class girls. her husband or brother inquired our problem and extended his help, out of Chinese taboo, while Miss Gao remained her self-possessed normally among guests in her spacious house in my dream. we likely rested there and waited for more money remit from our relatives, or aided by Gao to settle our funeral. the northern China countryside scene lonely detailed in dream, different from my hometown, central China. last night it drizzled, left wet ground when I went to dorm canteen for breakfast. last night I put 2 pillows in stack and its the highest pillow I ever had with my own, for the cover of my pillar sent to laundry and no replacement. I always admire American family pillars in its episodes, large and soft and qualifies, but never found within domestic market includes online e-commerce. yesterday I half day roaming in dorm, except reading informative web as routine for one or 2 hours. my life more and more turned like an elder's, or even worse, like those retired gathered in gate ball game yard outside near my dorm window view. they found no fun in the game, no challenge, no exciting, but just gather and moving. still there are fights among common Chinese, like the dorm canteen. the operational couples loathed to invest more on food materials, but spare no efforts to advertise, to celebrate its anniversary. the result is fewer and fewer customers. I usually have less than a bowl meat in a week there together. it doesn't hurt me much as a mandated vegetarian, but let me slender. and the business possibly reined by PRC surveillance against me. recent months my throat more and more choked by phlegm, I had to cough hard to spit it. my backbone also turned inflexible: after standing up it takes quite few seconds to waist straight from sitting. usually the most exciting moment in a week is gathering my son, woz, on Sunday weekly. his sinful mom tentative separates us, frequently change my son's timetable to drive my son away from my side. God dad, the drizzle turns heavier. dad God, my life runs full and merry. no matter how sinister attempted to ruin it. grant us our web business booming and self-relies. bring us sooner Royal China for better future. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my second baby, billing zhu. God dad last salary means so much for us. my worn shoes, which embarrassed me again last raining Sunday when it was wet being handled to spa keeper, now replaced by new one. my son glad with his new chromebook bag he chose his own. God dad, in coming alipay credit returning day, let us anxious free. thx God dad, for surfing hard time so smooth regardless PRC war time preparing period, thx for skipping us from trifle grudge in the failing and doomed authority.

May 26, 2018

this month my salary from QRRS exceptionally supportive: nearly 600 additional totals ￥3600, and my younger brother gifted me ￥200 for update my wrecked shoes. with it, I bought my son, woz birthday cake a dearest one, ￥128 fruits cake titled 和风莓语. we designated praying for Japanese spiritual and English.the cake shop near my dorm and kindly offered us a set of stainless steer cake knife and forks. my son lately returned from his school, near 7 pm, for his school forced even grade 7th students to have night class aiming better performance in rat race entrance exam of elite senior middle school. his mom this time actively joined us in celebration. woz, and all us likely enjoyed the delicacy, fruit cake. after first round of eating cake, my son lent himself to my planned task abrupt, setup his new account in google chrome for easy access family asset book. that lasted more than an hour and wonderfully done. I then left, urging my son listening and watching more English as cliche. on bus station, the last bus line missed. I walked 2 bus stops to return my dorm, and busy with publishing video and photo captured in the ritual birthday onto web till 11 am. in this deep sleep I dreamed 2 kind of different animals, 獾 badger and a kind of Chinese sound like "揉", both like sloth or pangolin. the training and performance of district summer sports game Qiqihar municipal requisites on going now again, near 8 am and loudly outside. I saw in these days how the expropriation costs, esp young lives, their decency and creativeness in change of collective cheap mob. dad, my son's class was lucky out of the chaos. guide us away from burning turbulence of PRC war time preparation. grant us our job meaningful and rewarding material and spiritual. in this windy morning, dad God, let the world witness how plenty our joys, perfections in our living spectrum.

regular pulse of daily stream turns stronger.

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Wed, 16 May 2018 01:29:00 +0000

May 16,2018

dreamed in my hometown in a raining night. my mother locked a panther in house, or a lion or tiger. my sinful 2nd elder brother tried to risk me to feed it. I feared and escaped, gathered into other villagers' kids. my mother help me in the dangerous situation. we discussed together including with infants in the village. when the panther released to us, we found safely treated it fearful and enjoy ourselves each other. last night it drizzled, with thunders. in the morning it was sunny and I sunburned my quilt. then I busy with sorting my contacts in google accounts and on my mobile, till I found it drizzling. I hasted to collect my quilt but the dorm keeper woman shown me my quilt already shifted by someone from yard to dorm corridor sofa. it smells with sunburn crisp. seemingly I should appreciate the anonymous helper, but why he or she knew that was my quilt or at least belong to Dorm No. 1, not other dorms share the central garden? last Sunday my son first time brought his new flip chromebook out when we dined out before shower. for he changed his bag, he forgot bringing wallet with. we penniless and without membership card we blocked from checkout the spa. I first haunted nearby barbershop to borrow ￥30, but the mean hair dresser to whom I tipped quite some times refused. my son had to return to his mom's house to fetch our membership card. however, after returned home after the frustration, my son now more enjoys his flip chromebook, esp android games on it. that's Mother's day. my son's mom's girlfriend visited, with her son there to receive tutorial from my son's mom. the sinful woman preferred my son's bedroom and lingered there recharging her mobile when I arrived the house where my son absent, in his painting class elsewhere his mom arranged. I even doubting the woman spying my son's gadgets there. she soon shifted to bedroom of my son's mom's, when I launched to prepare my son bootable rescue disk with ubuntu 18 and windows 10 installation iso. we dined in Japanese cuisine noodles restaurant. the boss' son at a loss over my son's new ultrabook, evaded gathering my son but sit neighbor table. his dad queried our new gadget and that's all response we received in our gear's first public appearance, except additional some gaze in public spa from graduates of nearby colleges. woz's old dell notebook, aided by my Nankai alumni decade ago as woz first laptop, shifted to his mom. still the vengeful woman tasteless, complained my eating her grapes her mom prepared at home, without least gratefulness. Dad God, so many shameless mob on the earth. like this monthly cinema experience, "avengers: infinite war", we need cleanser, need decent extinguisher. the world of plants and animals, the Nature already can't afford human rubbish population, largest wastes on earth. grant us vision to discipline, and unbearable pains of breeding rat race, and disgusting animality among humanity. grant us sooner vision to rid off nasty Mideast, African, Hispanic cheap human cattle. enliven again our mother Earth, our Nature sustainable human friendly. bring me sooner my Royal China to pillar world strategy stage. bring me sooner my Japanese Queen, Asoh Yukiko, to spread Merit of Japan, heritage of the Empire. grant me financial independence in this coming salary day. rid me off my mean younger brother, who promised to aid me to buy a pair of shoes then next day ate his own word and cold shoulders to my adversity. let my coaching in air in wind and free any obligation between us to dilute my disappointments. thx dad God, in this misty morning.

May 8,2018

dreamt at my hometown in my summer school vacation ran a startup, cake and dispatching shop, like pizza hut. the shop likely founded by our neighbor, the first son of village Mao era teacher and a long time secret copycat of my dad's role model. later I found there is another established competitor, a cake shop ran by 2nd son of village's CCP secretary. they both treated me with barbecue for the startup and trying invite my partnership, esp in the secretary's house the CCP cadre and his first son, my once friend and now a bank manager, appeared, and soon I found the arena challenge, in time and season sensitive. its easy to rotten a new cake in your hands at your cost. last night I saw threat against my mean while stable income from QRRS, a SOE I worked for more than a decade till my breakup in an adventure to gain a master degree of politics. I saw nowadays PRC how people insanely reckless just for a job and its salary. I saw since Marxism and modernization, people earn from job and drove by money, and burning out of reserved. heritage and merit ditched, enthusiasm buried by post. I wouldn't work for a job. I will commit in my vision, unshakable faith and inspire of reason and grace. I saw so many cheap souls, even in elegant complexion among nowadays VIPs in CCP and PRC main stage. the tyrant just whipping hardship of living to coerce obedience from weak mob. God dad, even myself under pressure of my son's mom, to accept rule of jobbing, to support my family under her stinky guide, stumbling and crawling as PRC main stream. God dad, let me work independently, under your influence of life long career of stone works, regardless orders. let me inherit and abide with my nation. let my people self-rely and self-efficient. bring me my Empire of China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me my new baby, billingzhu. in this sunny morning and newly improving canteen breakfast, let me sing and chord in praises of Goodness.

May 4,2018

dreamt with my son woz on journey. we needed to return to my hometown. the ground very muddy & shitty. we managed to aboard, but soon the driver found tourists to my hometown too few so outsourced us to another bus. then we passed a historical famous Chinese china factory, yuyao汝窑（于姚）as Song Dynasty chartered china craft. that remind me my 2 once QRRS colleagues, a woman in surname Yao姚, and a guy surname Yu于. they both offspring of once PRC privilege families. Yao's dad is the company's deputy secretary of CCP, while Yu's parents is scholars redirected to QRRS implies Mao's training in rural policy.
this week esp busy with updating windows with April 2018 release, linux with ubuntu 18. it's quite smooth, except during my installing necessary tools I was deadly blocked from vpn. last week almost all time waiting our Amazon China parcel, Asus flip chromebook. at first its vendor delayed several days to dispatch after our order accepted. then it went from British to Germany and Poland. then it traveled to HK. then soon clear customs and arrived Beijing, where it deterred 3 times and finally refuted by PRC authority and denied us our shopping. but amazon China didn't disappointed me, I got my parcel next 2 days through a mid man. my son likely amazed by the gift, I accompanied him setup accounts and then left his own to play with the wonderful product. this Sunday I will check its charisma my own. in this meaningful April, my credit debt mounts to ￥1000, including 3 kinds purchases, cushions for my dorm's coldness which results in my painful waist, pants for woz esp his mobiles portable, and wire k/m combo replacement of my wireless k/m which malfunctions possibly under nearby attacks. they all dispensable. dad God, what a beautiful early 2018 for us turns out in pressing environmental adversity!
God dad, PRC's most fatal weapon against our secure informative web is to disable our down stream traffic, and it kills. in recent encounters it occurred more and more frequent, each time as soon as vpn once built connection. ugly dog just out of my door. our dangers in your mercy, God dad. free us from digital wasteland and brutal surveillance and disrespects in the last barking shameless China tyrant. God dad, let me cruise glorious founding of my Empire China, let me enjoy my Royal China with people concerned, esp my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring life vivid with my son, my new baby in my armful. in this summer, let's wholeheartedly fly higher and atop. dad God, grant us ward free web in nowadays siege of ghost communism in China in deepest darkness.

Apr 25,2018

dreamt in my hometown village opens a new canteen, whose breakfast quite rich, including hundreds of dishes. I hangout there and sat aside a young couple to enjoy my meal. my coat accidentally got dirty with food stains there. It's a brilliant morning, when I can't help but first to do is check my parcel's delivery status after got up. unfortunately it stopped by Beijing customs 3rd times. yesterday I let amazon China called me to assure my parcel on its delivery road, amazon did and assured the forecast of arrival: we will receive our parcel on Friday, Apr 27th, out of its website warning of returning our ordered chromebook back. this week I mostly relentlessly expecting arriving of our purchased gift, and 2 OS, ubuntu 18 and windows RS4, for preparing rebuild our work space. it's not a torture but let you review your life in pale and constrained. my salary also first time delayed to 24th of the month, while usually it varies from 19th to 23rd. so many awaiting tasks makes April 2018 so special. after all time will win us a better world, equips us better in the world changed largely by Christian. God dad, pave our road the goods sending to us. let PRC surveillance attempting defies our purchase in vain. bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, in time as they matter so much. grant me new monuments in building the earth a more fortitude portal of China Royal and world infrastructural of future. bring more obvious worldview of my visionary. thx dad God, in every ray of sunlight we are blessed with hope.

bliss in new Asus flip chromebook

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Tue, 10 Apr 2018 01:49:00 +0000

Apr 10, 2018

dreamt with my Tibet artist friend, Benba Chungdak, and his friend. we together build a company. the enterprise grows with our ages. in handling developing issues we stepped into middle aged and each have child. I saw touching moment daughter with dad. This week quite boring, for I relentlessly need assured our ordered Asus chromebook smoothly delivering to us, evade PRC customs’ deter or domestic censorship. Life can be easier with help from our dorm canteen’s aid, the woman loaned me ￥700 to pay alipay credit debt yesterday. It not only remove the tension, also let my ability to handle something in failing prison of PRC economic winter. Yesterday I also seeking equip our usb-c reader a tf card for data transferring and storage. woz's coming Asus chromebook has 2 usb-c ports while normal usb only one port, so I preparing shifting my usb and usb-c reader stick to him, now that his Intel NUC shifted to me and equips me a build-in card reader. We are migrating from usb stick to sd card. I long time intending upgrade our backup card storage, but always felt economically unfit for it. Now I am almost assured worthily to invest it. I also intended shift our old Dell notebook to my son’s mom, the small man long time complained her notebook I left her without battery, even I told our notebooks’ battery were shits. I even guessing she brought Trojan horses from PRC surveillance into the dell notebook my son and I used to play steam games, for she insisted worked on the notebook even she already had an old Hasee notebook I left her, after all my warns not to mess with our dell notebook. Now she can has a taste of her own bait. I felt glad to rip off the dell notebook, for it frequently refused windows’ patches. It also lagging in booting up, even running programs OK. After move it away from my son’s bedroom, my son will has a new desk to work on. I long time preparing my son an office space, but the dell notebook always occupied one. So my son usually wrote homework on a cheap table his mom used for her profiting tutoring. Now with 2 light chromebooks, my son has 2 fix computer desks to work on. that’s I long time intended, against his cheap mom's efforts to put him and her students in slavery situation, where only main business is tutorials, like in Mideast or Islamic.
God, dad, its a yellow morning now. Sandstorm more and more common scene now here. Looking into future, so many holy discipline including severe genocide ahead. Quite some races deserve no future but hell. God put the chosen breaks through hardship and wasteland, and deserted. Bring rest to breed racing. Bring me my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, into tangible world. God, dad, bring me to top view of the canyon.

Apr 6, 2018

first dreamt kill a bear. I don't want to hunt but soon I slayed it in fear of prey. then dreamt in my hometown just after wedding. I enjoy enviable sexual life with my bride, each time I never anxious but just insatiable intercourses. yesterday is our monthly cinema time with my son, woz. we watched blockbuster "ready player one". we almost missed it with fake Russian product, snow queen 3 which mimics frozen 3. we watched frozen 1 and 2 and impressed, and without hesitation we chose the snow theme movie, till 2 days before the lunar Mourning day I found we cheated by the Russian title. my son soon accepted my suggestion of change. and that's rewarding. I think "ready player one" is quite impressive in visual presentation. before the movie, I told my son my decision to put investment before deposition, in risk of CCP tyrant seizure. we never felt unease upon saving woz some pocket money via alipay's yuebao, till last Sunday we found yuebao restricting our automatic deposit, delayed more than ￥800 in cash account without profit for months, due quota restriction new CCP puppet financial regulator setup aiming to disable or malfunction the world largest fund. then I saw PRC tyrant relentlessly constrains civilian's cash flow while under table covertly leaks into its underground reservoir. I felt threatened and need to take action rather than passive been robbed. also in past months, our intended purchase, convertible chromebook, turned more dearer and scarcer on amazon China. we need response swift. my son agreed. after movie we ate hotpot near the cinema. the peanut sausage ran short, and a neighbor cheap mid aged man occupied himself unnecessary a full bowl of it against shortage. we used groupon and additional cash for more mutton. after returned to my dorm, I felt the rich meal let me energetic and delayed to sleep. I checked my purchase target monitoring and amazed by new chromebook on sale. I at once ordered it and paid by my deposit money for woz in last half year, near 2000 CNY. its so satisfying that I watched lately another episode of "the office" for completion of the wonderful lunar Mourning holiday. now last night dream is so sweet that I never know aging. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for I waited decades. grant us one more child for prosperous Eastern Asia. thx God, in this sedative morning.

Apr 2, 2018

dreamt history creation by 2 pals in three kingdoms period Chinese well known. one of them is Yuwei, with his family ie. his mother and young wife, forging his southern China country from scratch. I witness his charisma, his conquer over territory he bestowed. another guy's expanding his national border near southeastern China also in details in dream. its a sandstormy morning. last week I ripped one of zhone cms, https://agarten.in ,replace it with a tool site, a project management site. even still in experimental phrase, I already felt satisfying. my son last week installed an old famous file explorer on his android. I deleted it at once, and warn him the dangers of PRC government overtaken tool softwares. the file manager was a wonderful tool, but now manipulated by PRC government for large scale surveillance, like it purchased hundred of once perfect software tools mostly created by individuals or small enterprises, esp rooting tools. my son nodded. in night we co-operated online to assure his google voice forwarding phone enabling. but it turns out his forwarding phone consistently working for I called his google voice last year more than once, unlike my google voice never received phone call in last year, hence google require to re-verify to enable it. I told my son we should soon seek a grocer near our public spa so as not to lack fruits on our diet. I pray God grant me budget for the delicious food. my son now a considerable smart teenage, but he still hijacked by his sinful mother, who relentlessly challenged me and my parenthood. I warned my son not to frequent hospital, but last sunday soon after we returned from spa, he was arbitrarily brought by his mom left their house, left me alone updating his linux. they likely haunted eye hospital for my son's sight, on which the small woman recently fantastically obsessed. I told my son I day by day upset by Chinese teachers. they killing creativeness and smother orthodoxy. what a low moral they wholely obtained! even worsen than PRC government employee!
God, dad, a new month starts yesterday, when we enjoyed downtown hostel pork steak so much. this month my credit debt again near 600 CNY. help me clear our debt and deal our daily budget lightly. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for spring 2018 just budding new life and hope of life. bring my son his enjoyed game and ready office space he will step in with affirmative. thx God dad.

Mar 23, 2018

dreamt tutoring a kid playing game, in which there is a scene of lofty gate, player has to climb up to get reward to continue the game. later dreamt of math exam, on which I always reluctant to touch while my son seemingly excels in dream. its a pale morning. after a busy week preparing migrate my work space from acer chromebook to dell chromebook, this week I mostly resting. the solution expanding chromeOS side by side with linux works perfectly for me, with installing a tool crouton under chromeOS dev mode, I now enjoy security of google ChromeOS and versatile open world of linux, which so powerful and robust. Reviewing my clumsy linux experience so far, I see clearly windows losing. Bill Gates in half century spend half world wealth to improve world health and poverty is invalid. Its no hatred, but discipline or natural giveup Holy spiritual glad to see. Now Trump sees it, and Gates persuading USA president to continue to adopt the fake savior. God, world at large, esp abnormal humans desperate for their abnormal world staged so many ugly shows including obesity, LGBT, anti-society, etc. there are so many abused food/drug eaters in developed countries while average people encounter hanger everyday. Killing in mid east mostly exchange for food, but so many unfair between healthier living and sick food/sex/drug addictive. God dad, the Earth citizen needs merit based cleanse, like Trump’s new migration law. If man can’t live a healthy life, lives him hell. So does to drug esp opium takers, and breed racers. US entertainment circle stealth too much applause and selling too much cheap and unhealthy idols. USA esp weak democrats promoted too much cheap democratic notion upon world among which quite some disqualifies, esp hate culture and competing in breed nations, like Africa and Mideast. World crisis now mostly due to cheap human cattle, which noway to preceding nor prioritize animal and grand nature. cheap hurts but decency nutritious. A society can’t self-rely nor self-sufficient, a nation wiped from its land like Mideast. But Europe and USA still missing rule Israel learns thousand years, they let enemies inside.
God dad, its a new salary day now, but yet QRRS release my salary so far. Yesterday I review my near 2 decades in QRRS Dorm, my youth and loving among PRC most exciting era, so called open policy period when PRC penniless but polite peasants adopted to work mills by Capital American buyers, on the land my ancestor bestowed. I saw my old friends here and found their hidden gay. I found my seeking family esp offspring efforts in all my half life, on this fresh land I chosen to pick up and grow upon to polarize. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. Grant us offspring new to Royal China. Blessing me new monument to develop zhone web. After workday I will fetch my son visiting my dorm monthly, permits us joyful reuniting this afternoon. Thx God dad.

in solemn confidence.

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Sat, 10 Mar 2018 22:38:00 +0000

Mar 11, 2018

Dreamt in class where my once junior middle school language teacher offering his lecture. While his speech too boring I cheated to cover my reading my own material. When he stepped down to check our listening, my heart beat heavier. But fortunately he didn’t found under my text book there was another book I hid my pleasure. I felt shameless the middle aged male teacher demands students so much to catch his lesson up while his teaching so boring and meaningless. This week half waiting my alumnus’ aid which never happened to buy my own another chromebox. I previously planned to equip my son a new convertible chromebook, but on Wednesday I was attracted by chromebox which cheaper and its ethernet interface card more powerful than a wireless card. I was inspired by the idea and pains brewing me in wanting upon which I knew on my own I can’t realize. So I resorted to my senior middle school alumni for fundraising 2000 CNY. One of them once the best scored and enrolled by most privileged PRC university, Beijing Univ, and visited my campus in Tianjin and slept my bed, to whom a year ago I entreated for aiding me to flying to visit my kid brother in southern China and got his ambiguous refusal. So this time I thought there was still cherished memories in our friendship, and his job likely earns much more than mine, for his major is international law or economics and worked in stock market after graduate. But this time, 1000 CNY as I expected solely, he again refused me and blacklist me without any word exchange, after my 4 sms and 3 buzzes sinked. I didn't bother contacting any other alumni after the denial. In the day after International Women Day, a snow continued after days break in my clueless reaching out. I still didn’t understand after looking into why someone put money before friendship and moral kindness. Is PRC economy turns harsher day by day for the once academic leader turned so mean? Or my enviable cyberspace harvest in a decade's blogging as well as holy missionary under God’s shine turns the wellbeing alumnus hatred and bitter to turn his back indecently to me? After the refusal I busy yesterday all day on my raspberry pi, preparing it more liable and useful. God sharpen my sight that my workspace already spacious and reliable, after all attempts constraining. In this dawn I felt hard to sleep, and bliss ahead so thick. So I got up before 6am to blog, for today would be a blessing exciting day with my son, woz, in our busy agenda learning and studying.
Dad God, in your holy guide I got to know weakness among highly succeeded people include my alumni. Guard me to steer through wasteland in PRC where cheap souls compete to extinguish heroism. Bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko for clearer vision in eastern Asia landscape. Grant us happy weekend reuniting as usual.

Mar 6, 2018

dreamt my publishing career gets happy ending: my novel published or my literature awarded. my passed mother accompanied me to return to my hometown, where new houses building. quite some villagers congratulated me while myself also enjoy my success: my narrative style studied by scholar and critic. This is a sunny morning. I still feel not prepared to utter anything. Last week is interesting: I first time settle up arch linux, whose heavy command based renew my experience of Microsoft dos decades ago. Linux really amazing! And by chance we also experienced raspbian, another wonderful linux distribution. Both speedy on our raspberry pi 3, which turns into a full functional pc from educational toy. I really enjoy the gadget. Arch linux so impressive that I decided to install it after my old chromebook’s EOL met. This breakfast is satisfying, while the operative man frequently coughed and spit during serving let me anxious his illness infectious. His wife promised to wash my clothes but likely now the task shifted to a mid aged woman works there. They kept my dirty clothes for 3 weeks there intact. And yesterday the woman washing claimed she brought my clothes home to wash, not within the dorm nor its canteen. So they cheat me, and let my clothes more vulnerable to virus, privacy more looser. God dad, this week my alipay credit debt amounts to near 700 CNY, help me in these 2 months, whose income usually inclines lower due to corporate earning less after lazy lunar holiday. Dad God, time turns much harder to kill in my aging, my life more miserable in waiting, waiting for gathering, waiting for glories, even waiting for a better meal with my son. Bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, to accomplish my earth life. Grant us another child, whose cyberspace I preparing since last year, billingzhu.com. Thx dad God.

Mar 1, 2018

dreamt doubting printing technology, how woodblock picture prints color accurately represented by oil. then through a magic hole, I entered a legendary world where I turned from tiny figure to a hero with sword to revenge. he refused help but judge by his own to murder his historical enemies. I was astonished by dangers and thrills in the master protagonist encountered in his brave world. Lunar 2018 first snow lasted 2 days. This morning when I went to dorm canteen for breakfast, its cover much thicker than yesterday. Quite some dorm administrative women outdoor cleaning road. Its so beautiful! And my breakfast is satisfying, esp sugar pie served first time after spring festival holiday. The day before yesterday, I worked continuously near 40 hours to rebuild portable workspace on my ssd and raspberry pi. After successfully got new oses ready and backups sound, I slept in chair when watching episode which lagging due to internet under PRC surveillance. In the night I slept sound, till next noon I got up directly to canteen for lunch. PRC tyrant attempted to rewrite rubber constitution to pave for his life time dictation, which arouse large scale debate among Chinese as well as world stage. Chinese people usually begging their living tiny space, not much social storm. But the communist tyrant wanted to humiliate Chinese now that the rubber constitution didn’t ban unconditional ruling power, as ghost communism put into fake republic leader. Chinese is a tribe that respects their interface. But their harmonious face torn by shameless power stealth tyrant now dominating the stage, who also challenges all PRC citizen with its death or wealth for last bet. Chinese in long brutal conflicts with nomad and historic lessons taught them not to expect government to good behaves but this time its fate again put in attest, God or Godless, Jesus or their folk pantheon. Review last decade’s poor western China gang’s public show on PRC lawless cheap square, I felt much sure that holy spirit leaves me prepared for monkey mimics carnival for superficial glory. Their social achievement and economic robbery turning PRC a hell of prey and nightmare of smash of minimal, failing most sinful Chinese indifferent of their outer space but their tiny live sphere, bloodless hatch and hopeless survivor.
God, dad, its a sunny morning now. Yesterday I talked with my son online for arrangement of last dining out celebrating the end of spring festival. Bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for the rest of my earth life. Bring me with my son new study of arch linux and new ultra convertible chromebook. Grant us a smooth year for steady growth, and larger web of world democracy of sustainable.

Feb 21, 2018

First dreamt of my university alumni, Wenxiong, who recently has been a bureaucracy in his hometown province, Hunan. Then I brought my son following someone in night street. My son asked for snack then slept in my arms. I felt so sweet and full of live meanings with him. Then dream we in a wedding ceremony team moving to some places, half way we passed a relatives’ village where 2 cousin girls debated with me in English and trying attracting me or condemned my keeping single so far. Their kindness left me relaxed. This is lunar new year 6th day. Still there are firecrackers explode in air, far away. Yesterday I felt hungry after 2 box of instant noodles my younger brother sent me, so I lately around 5pm ate some rices & dumplings in nearby restaurant and felt satisfied. Tomorrow I will brought my son dine out buffet, where I hope I can eat more. The dorm administrative woman said QRRS will resume to work on next Monday, while national holiday arrangement online claims tomorrow will be workday. My younger brother buzzed me dusk before eve of lunar new year when I jogging and missed his call. When I called back twice, he refuted it. He is posing to ignore me to feed his ego. All my old family, ie, my elder siblings, called by me once before lunar new year. None of them call back. In the lunar holiday I didn’t feel lonely, but enjoy quite sometimes solitude and joyful bountiful of time space. Internet in those days especially stable and usually I let podcast playing all day long. USA gun control debate after massive school shooting arouse students protest didn’t bother me. I saw many familiarity between Chinese 8964 event and what’s on US. Young lives and social motivation on large scale don’t move me much. I more confident in God’s bliss, which more making sense in believing life, from naive souls. God, dad, these days starving left me more close to Christian calendar, and world in crisis of food and water, and separation they bring about with hatred and murders. In this view I am ready for selective survival, out of brutality and cleanse large scale among human cattle. Dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China in better world under Christian, bring my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for life sustainable and gracious.

for passing and remaining, persistently invest.

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Thu, 15 Feb 2018 04:35:00 +0000

Feb 15, 2018

last night too beautiful to miss, that I lingered in front of computer lately around 11am. in mid night dreamt my once colleagues, a technician deputy director with 2 once and life long students who moved department with him to forge their territory. I dreamt they researched logic, one of my university subject majoring philosophy, to calculate their profit and loss. lunar spring festival eve is today. before it all my projected tasks done smoothly, esp renew our beautiful domains 3rd times or 4 times. first time aided by my nephew to migrate from godaddy to dynadot for cheaper price of renewal, then asked help from my elder brother to renew most endangered one, woz.fm, before its price increase month later. 3rd renewal carried last Wednesday as planned long time after new registrar dynadot offers facility to renew more years among zuo.center and others, aided by February salary released earlier than usual from QRRS, my once and long term employer. now all zhone domains sustained after year 2022. that's wonderful task accomplished in lunar 2017. now I intended enrolling foremost task, renewal of zho.io, which allow more 5 years to subscript on platform of dynadot. with the investment, all zhone domain ownership will extend to 2025, or so. I hope it is a rewarding investment, even under possible seizure dangerous PRC tyrant dwelt around thousand times. God, dad, how I contented with my intelligent properties after these sweating year buffeted by poverty and baseless. zhone portal also gathering audience, adsense earning turns more regular even far from profitable. dad God, my pension can be meaningless, esp in debt mounting PRC government as well as dark perspective of administrative deficit, but can I survive the ruin of tumor of ghost communism CCP's reign? can I survive peace and protected interest my building Empire even in its early phrase while with my heart and sweat? I still have near 40,000 CNY credit debt to Chinese banks, one of them, ccb, threatened to law sue last week. dad God, where I can assure my establishment cyberspace under holy warranty, as burnout disease of CCP and tyranny PRC into ash before its arson trying cling to us? dad God, direct me in paved lane to safe breakthrough before smothering dying hard PRC collapse fatally. my lunar 2018 can be more energetic with safety of capitalism in PRC in fact, whose on stage last surge sucking partisan and bureaucratic cadres shamelessly seize the ultramost from sick society, prey of civilian.

yesterday I ate 4 box of instant noodles my younger brother sent from southern China, his small mill. they are quite tasty. when I went jogging routinely, I obviously felt dragging belly, and heart pumping heavier. dad, God, in my life I missed delicacy so much, even larger amount of beautiful girl souls, but I was remained slim and healthier appetite so far. God, guide me toward my new family, where my 2nd child can glorifies my earth life. bring me sooner my Royal China, bring Asoh Yukiko, my Crown Queen from Japan, for joy matters more. grant us sooner approach the anxious free peak where our domains consolidate like the world map, well recognized and vivid as atmosphere.

Feb 10, 2018

dreamt in my hometown preparing to return university, or just enrolled by university. my elder brother and my mom prepared me package and anxious about train ticket. I had seven or eight files need to unpack, to answer a quiz, in which explains a Chinese word, all family happy 阖家欢乐. I myself relentless, doubting first settle 2nd or the first tour's booking, for the destiny needs 2 transference. today likely first day of lunar spring festival in PRC and my fasting period: dorm canteen in vacation now, likely till 2 weeks or 3 later to resume. my younger brother sent 4 parcels from his southern China of ready food which quite relieves my anxious budget for the holiday. last night the dorm canteen also treated me with a more delicious dinner, includes pork and squid. there were lots of hopelessly stupid Chinese aside road burning fake money for their passed relatives on way my jogging after dinner. I had to cover my eyes with sleeves still got dirt in eyes. these week busy with overcoming obstacle harsher PRC surveillance imposed. I also prepared my son woz new opener wifi for his coming party with his cousins from his mom's relatives visiting the lunar holiday. PRC dog system closely watched it: when I print a board of wifi confidential in a local small print house, soon 2 men likely cops join the shop till my left. when I deleted my backup image online of the board, my internet shut down at once for more than 6 hours, till now my usual vpn had problem to connect. review the stupid holiday I feel more convinced that's a absurd event of Chinese culture: it boosts blind trifle celebration, hatred against neighbor and social harmony. human fed by God's mercy, rather than foolish harvest which lunar spring festival signalizes. spring festival at its best encourages laziness and paralyzing of society, running norm of civilization, fear of scattered corporation. in the week I also received poverty aid from QRRS, my once and long time employer, 300 CNY in cash and 500 into debit card. it helps me relieve debt burden to dorm canteen, alipay credit including installment. now my only curiosity is my younger brother's promised gift to renew our 2 dearer domains. if I can deposit 100 CNY in my ABC and Bankcomm debit account for remaining their alive, I will regretless starting lunar new year. recent night I also research alternative chromebook, now that my acer chromebook will reach its end of life in google support term. I want to equip woz an ultra convertible chromebook, with google play embedded. then I can convert my retired one into a linux notebook. the plan is faultless, hopefully after my installment with alipay credit finished and ready for new one. God, dad, feed me in the enduring lunar holiday as homeless. bring me sooner my Royal China, and Asoh Yukiko for real celebration season. grant us 2 rich meals in holiday when I fetch my son to dine out. help me reach end of spring festival sooner, risk free. thx, dad God.

Jan 22, 2018

dreamt of holiday at my hometown. we visited our relatives in neighbor village, where I was bitten by ants. they painlessly gathered herds all over my body. my brother-in-laws, sisters help me after I showered to check if I was cleaned, around a camp fire before leaving the village. some neighbor kids also watched. they put on me so many clothes that I took off many time to assure sanity. the ants' bites likely drained bloods, no pains at all, their size is smaller. I was a bit in panic. Last week too beautiful to miss. My son visited my dorm last Friday, when we worked together trying fix his problem with eclipse C++ compiling. His mom arranged him learning programming lesson, which likely just sending him some slideshow. I tried to introduce him ubuntu & eclipse. But I seldom had expertise on eclipse. So I have to put more efforts to ensure my son's interest as well as familiarity with the IDE, till he really works with the tool, leaving his windows counterpart, dev c++ as his teacher adopted, no where. We almost fix compiling until my son tried more on his own programming codes then compiling errors missing component, which clueless for us. So next day I searched web for more tutorial ebooks to download. I in fact gained some copies of pirated ebooks, and I prepared reader on my son's ubuntu aiming to his reference readily. God dad, help my son find his joy in programming, and persistent on doing his things right & joyful. In the same night my son ported in my dorm, my salary released, ￥4276, such a surprise that we both glad. With it I renewed woz's domain, woga.me to its maximal years godaddy allows. Next day, ie. Sunday, I reset & setup again our google home mini, for unsatisfied by restriction non-English user inherits within google home app. This time I got online chat aid from google, which assured me none GPS discrimination but just Language determines user interface and more choices within, say voice matching, optional voice male or female. We finally got human voice option, more voice commands available after switched to English on our nexus. Its such a huge success that we both glorified. We then dined in downtown hotel restaurant where we absent for 3 weekends, partially their service less attracting. But this time we fed well, porks delicious and enough. In salon I offered ￥20 as tips for wonderful service there, and last time they resumed my missing renewal there, as gratitude. After shower in public spa, I found our cyber shopping, an amazon China parcel due to arrive last Wednesday delayed so far, arrived. Another order, 2 cushions from taobao.com arrived same day. My son was brought by his mom to check his eyesight, so I brought 2 parcels lately around 6pm to visit my son again. My son looking out for the rechargeable batteries badly and we cheer up with the new stock of batteries. Its such a nice day that in the night I gave up episodes watching as reconciliation upon PRC surveillance heavily blocking online from shifting away poor PRC domestic culture products. Dad God, this blessing morning what can compare with your mercy in my situation? Dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China for final solution upon coming crisis in the world. Bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for our offspring healthy & strong sanity.

in thick dirt.

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 11:30:00 +0000

Jan 13, 2018

last night dirty spying eyes pestered me a lot. I saw lots of sexual scenarios, esp my familiar individuals around me, like dorm canteen operative woman, a staff of the canteen to whom my laundry outsourced. Its normal dusk when I went to canteen. When I felt good I asked some wine from the operative woman & handed over ￥5 as reward. I just want to be joyful & sharing my gratitude. Then sexual emotion likely aroused in the dorm canteen, esp in the 2 women. After dinner I went to joy as usual. On the road I saw lots of sexual scenes mindfully I once experienced when in doomed love which broke me up back to 2001 when I left Qiqihar to Nankai Univ, Tianjin, seeking my master degree. I know mostly women there love me, and I sometimes inspired by them. But I dislike unreal sex esp out of my loved one. I always pray for my peaceful soul partner, not indecent ones. That heaps of unblessed illusions reminded me this week an elder man I didn't know approached me in my dusk jog twice. He likely the husband of an elder woman who frequented me in my jog and some cases when I on way to visit my son 3 bus stop away. Every time she rode a bike. I at once thought in her elder what business can she have for such a busy route. Especially a time on my way to visit my son, she rested aside street and acquainted me. I just wonder how she made a living wilder around the street. I quit curiosity at once, as none of my business in that moment of probing mind. Now I'm almost sure that the insane elder woman in her show cheating me out her stalking me. Each time she talked to me, her husband, the old gay would appeared in my jog and trying talk to me, but I just reckoned him among QRRS workers once known me for I worked once in their factories soon after I employed, and never lingered more in my mind as unpleasant nod. Now I know the man's real ID. In this week after the insane woman acquaintance on her evasive riding away in my jog, the man stealthily pushed his way aside me arbitrarily, each time in dark area of my route. First time he claimed he noticed me watching my watch, which I never did. I mistaken him as passenger ask for time, so I search my pants pocket for watch to help me, the coward at once exiled, likely thought weapons in my pocket. After 2 days disappeared, he approached me again in front of QRRS square, claimed he noticed my usual route against normal people's there exercise, trying selling his research of me, or proof of his stalking. I just noticed aside a car turning around and the gay shamed then scattered again. I never looked him nor look back. The dirty illusive scenes all likely exerted by the sinful couples, they abused my well behavior. From my poor mother's grass root, I always resolved for poor diligent women, but didn't know the difference between normal elder woman's life, and those of out of shape. Last night I struggled to escape the fallen & dishonored, till I research my chromebook's replacement, new chromebook with android apps. I found amazon China selling this kind of products usually blocked within PRC. In the night I dreamt a lot purchasing the 2 notebooks for my son & my own notebook evolvement. I dreamt fought in sea with 2 battleship with same name derived from new chromebook I found at the e-commercial website. I saw fighting area on their functional dissected deck. When my son & I almost purchased the notebook, I woke up for the emptiness of wanting. God, dad, grant us sooner to have new set of chromebook for our workspace. Bring me sooner my Royal China, esp Asoh Yukiko, my Crown Queen from Japan. Grant us sanctum of love & privacy. Put self-esteem among people I concerned. In the lunar new year eve, grant us securer ownership over our adorable domains, ie renewal.

Jan 4, 2018

dreamt of Elon Musk, or Chinese version of Musk. he interviewed us from job applicant. then we take care of his family: his wife and his only son. an older staff also attending his family. his house in a lofty mountainous architecture, we have to clime in risk to reach it. when we returned to his house, the old staff throw Musk's boy onto a floating cushion, for no other shortcut to transport the kid bare hand in the harsh environment. even dangerous but the boy safely landed onto his house. Musk also challenged us with his famous product design.
last night a bit relentless. after dinner in canteen, I first time felt hungry & dorm gate snack vendor out of service. so I bought myself a bread and ate it deliciously after dusk jog & watching TV in my dorm. then I reviewed recent talk to my 2nd elder sister. how she hated me & faked orthodox. I told her about world food crisis report online, she at once responded if I take pills recently. last time decade ago she forced me into asylum with plot with my other siblings, ignored dedicated cares healing. she is a coward, not only she married with a beast and suffered regret all life, also she currently trying push our niece into marriage with her nephew who likely a poor gay. she found her family doomed then tried her best to help attending my kid brother's first son, who turned out much less educated, and left her second son, also a cheap soul, followed my kid brother and successfully earning a life in southern China as my kid brother, and seized himself a tall girl as trophy wife from peasants labor flood there. she consumed my old family so many credit & merit to save her cheap family she once hopelessly sold herself into when she getting old & dependent to my eldest sister who committed suicide in her 30' partially caused by the kid sister who stayed awkwardly in my eldest sister's house after her senior middle school my parents hardly supported. she totally a betrayer & cowardice. then I reviewed all my brilliance lightened so many people in my living sphere, esp my home town villagers, my siblings, our relatives. my powerful influence was a gift of my era, my national atmosphere in which we believe in growth, scientific, and moral uprising under God's shine, ie. Christian, out of people's self-esteem. I saw society mindset and its efforts in molding reality for generations, and my development as the chosen. I review my failing siblings and praying forgiveness, exactly for their painful giving: hurt in guise. I reviewing love of my 3rd elder sister since childhood put me in peace so many decades. our road towards independence past and ahead.
God dad, yesterday I almost first time felt panic of hunger. grant me anxious free upon food security. fed me with clean food & safe life. bring me sooner my Royal China and new family in which I likely bring one more child. God dad, bring me my Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko from Japan, when it matters us. dad, grant us a peaceful and merry lunar new year.

Jan 1, 2018

first dreamt in school. the subject of experiment is to distill starch from stem, for final bean curd or jelly separated from paper tissue. then found I was studying my Doctor degree course. my old family members mostly proud of me. I likely in vacation and visiting my old family's relatives at hometown, Zhudajiu village or local municipal, Wuxue. then found my purse missing. I was very concerned. then my 2 elder sisters help me search in fields for it. we exam carefully every inch of earth, hoping find it back. I was so distressed that I woke up for it and found at once I didn't miss it, but now I can't figure out how my property safe in reality while when I just exit from dream, I know dreamy concern dissolved.
This is first day of 2018. after 3 hours I will bring my son to dine out in Qiqihar downtown via groupon and aid financially by alipay credit. the holiday approached so quietly that I didn't prepare. I barely borrow ￥150 for usual weekend reuniting my son from QRRS Dorm canteen. after found my mistake, I search web carefully using the virtual credit to buy service online to make ends meet. in half day I setup alipay, Meituan on my raspberry pi and ordered 3 meals in cyberspace. yesterday we dined dico's franchise. on bus I prayed God allowing our coupon working and our holiday won't run short of cash. when we got there, there were not crowd. our groupon handled perfectly. we enjoy the meal so much. in fact, my deficit of meat healed quickly. I told my son Warren Buffett advises that youth should refrain from debt, and how Taiwan people inspire me, including dico's service. I urged him we are blessed to visit the franchise more frequent for it's just in its wane due to PRC economic hard problem, and eroded customer base among both richer Chinese and average Chinese family, for expenditure power just wears away in sinking PRC. I felt lucky to be served by the fast food chain in time when it's still graceful, and sale girls still so decent. I also told my son how I satisfied by my charity activity to offer a laid-off motorcycle worker begging for his hard life alongside street, on way my visiting my son, with ￥5: how its cost efficient & my emotional sanctified. after luncheon, we hangout in RT-Mart for my shampoo & toothpaste. my son definitely refused buying goods for him. so we only spend about 60 CNY there, among heavy carts and long queue of people at checkout. dad God, this week I will arrange installment with alipay credit. promise us smooth operation, grant us to complete paying back credit in time in coming year 2018. bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my lonely post mid age. grant us more offspring, esp Billing Zhu 's role in anticipated capable of billing, harmony with the Holy. God dad, in this pale morning, You ignite me with this post, let 2018 burning brighter & enlightened.

Dec 25, 2017

dreamt at my hometown village my passed mother sent me among other new enrolled undergraduates into college. my 2nd elder sister also prepared my package at home. there were near dozen of youth passed the entrance exam & enrolled. my nephew, ie. my 2nd elder brother's first son, also the lucky one. I query the richer family's kid, if he travel by airline. most kid will go to their campus via train, while I already had experience by air with my son recent years which let me proud, but I likely took train for poor economy. most of the village kids carried rice in bag. my family also prepared me rice in bag for dispatching, but I managed to persuade my relatives gave up for campus canteen does offer the food. it's touching moment for my elder brother's children never complete their senior education in reality.
This is a cloudy morning. I at first felt gloomy, for last week I refrained from my son's anticipated joy of new SWAT suit, and a new pair of boots amid our cyber shopping. but my son likely didn't feel it, at least he didn't refute the spitting coward, the grandma's scorn of coat's qualifies being heavier from put on at once the new clothes' arrival, and also his new boots didn't put on right & sluggy for he didn't leave the high ankle standing, likely his mom & grandma refused guiding him. our only meal together in a week, in the downtown hotel restaurant, also disappointing for it cheatingly remove our once ordered dish with rich meat, replaced with poor quality & quantity meat, after some relentless exchange viewpoint upon our insisted tips for the gorgeous dining hall & cuisine in months. that reminded me time to shift away now that our tips left the hotel boss at a loss. but fortunately our salon buzzed in half hour ago, the shop owner settled our missing renewal in July & admit our membership extends nearly 5 months, values ￥200 after dispute arose last week. that affirms my faith in goodness, understandability of hearts. God, dad, even this month salary removed near ￥400 from usual standard, I still believe year end bonus will surprise me. now new year day of 2018 just a week away, and this wonderful christmas, dad God, reinforce us with plentiness and supportive, remove vain in our materialism seasonal heart. grant me treating my son in next weekend KFC or Mcdonald's or Dico's. shelter us from needy & wanting, instead warm us by powerful & functional of our new gears, esp from US & google. thx Dad.

In completion of 2017.

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Fri, 22 Dec 2017 05:49:00 +0000

Dec 19, 2017

dreamt being friend of an English noble family, or Japanese host, ie their 2 boys and only daughter. first the boys showed me their real estate, and traditional kid practices around & in trench of their castle, which so beautiful, with yard and fence, and harvesting field with peasants nearby. I commented British buildings usually round shape while Chinese commodity residential block usually in slice alike. they also showed me their parties. then their only sister returned. the girl likely an artist, she put on me new shirt & introduced me to her party. when I prepared to performance and jumping from 2nd floor balcony to hall ground over awaiting crowd, my alarm woke me up. it's a warm dream, without pressure, esp the daughter cares me so much. this week still in wilder joys aid by alipay virtual credit. I try to prepare an installment with the credit, so I in urgency to spend near ￥1500 so as to mount to 2000 CNY installment. spending upon year end gifts really a breeze. I equipped dearest son a suite of SWAT winter uniform, including coat & pants, pricey ￥350. last night I spend another 120 on family photo book reviewing a decade golden memories, esp in woz's growth. for our domain registrar, godaddy defies the credit, I partially shift some deposit from monthly mobile data plan and spare cash for renewing our remnant 16 domains year end. but mobile fee recharging has limit set by the virtual credit, so I only allowed 400 CNY to transit. however, after these operations, I more confident that 2017 will complete without regret. past week also allows us enjoying benefit of goods, like my kid brother aided me a new Japanese style bed cushion, quite soft & warm & economic efficient, I praise it exceeding word. otherwise each morning esp chiller morning when I get up my bone hurts. our new google home mini first arrived amid our seasonal cyber gifts. it's so beautifully functional, enrich my son's spoken English & informative anytime empowered by the moral uplifting American corporate giant. we spend half hour to setup it, still my son at a loss for he was not left alone to accomplish the task. he wants now to carry independent workload on his own. that remind me how hard my situation can be in a tiny world our economy & social circumstance permits. my kid brother this time generously extended arms to me, likely last time our elder brother loaned me for domain renewal even in his hard time shamed him, and his aid grants us to upgrade our rechargeable batteries stock, which prepares us for more e-gadgets to harness even more wonderful modern living standard. God, dad, reviewing our situation, we felt so much blessed: our beneficence hinders nobody, our broad laugh shadows no one. while most renowned billionaires bow to PRC sinful tyrant, confronted by lawless deprivation and death penalty instead of standing clean, esp IT industry monopolies in rats' race. God dad, our anxious free growth might ceilied esp upon my offspring, but dearest God dad, is there anything we bestowed is not under your Holy Majesty warranty? grant us usual path, and merry heart forever, under shine & shrine. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for broader future of our 2 nations. in our ancestors' forged link, we stand firmer on the eastern Asia now and then forever.

Dec 12, 2017

these weeks brewing shopping online for quite some times, empowered by alipay virtual credit. but unfortunately godaddy doesn't support it. so I ordered woz's new boot, google home mini as planned in this dawn. later I will buy myself tea whose deficit last months helplessly. In dawn dreamt of a respected elder, likely PRC general Liu Bocheng. he first in my dream appeared as a painter, who drew golden leaves with Chinese traditional calligraphic painting. then he linked 3 painted leaves in a line to forge a brush and drew more in batch likes painting software, painter which can animate painting procedure does. then some relatives of the elder appeared, claimed the renowned man never query the elapse of his old acquaintances, for he can grasp the information in solitude & void. after woke up I felt he must be old partner of Deng Xiaoping, General Liu. these days PRC surveillance turns more rampant, and insanely. last weekend it only deterred playing back & restricted sources available via lagging internet, but last night it shameless rip audio from online episodes real time stream, and reset cache building minutes each after 2 or 3 minutes, just aiming upset my watching experience. hatred in PRC, esp dogs arranged by tyranny let me sad sometimes recently, by their desperate, cheap and total equipped to teeth. nevertheless my son rejoiced after my analyses of adversity we were beset, after he felt insulted by my scorn when he refused counting cash for me when I handover bills to pay our spa groupon in front the counter. might he thought the ammount, ￥250, too small for his engagement, but I hoped he recount before shifting to cashier, for I just roughly fetched from my purse. but he move them directly to cashier with whom I natively didn't trust. my son got hurt and in next Saturday when we went cinema & bought Taiwanese sweet juice he refused to face cashier. I first puzzled by his refusal, blamed him shy to publicity. then I saw his attitude & reason behind. so in Sunday luncheon, I explained why I didn't put him as independent but a kid. we more or less reunited & the downtown hotel restaurant lunch is delicious. after showered & returned to his mom's house, I let him watch "Rick & Morty" while I massaged his feet. his sinful mom tentatively arranged her lesbian friend's son came over for her english tuition, then my son looked diligently to play steam game with the docile kid while his mom, also the cheating kid, posed to be too busy and left my son unfinished amid game playing. its all right God, dad, just let the bitch does her utmost sins trying tearing my son apart between beast & holy, hership vs fathership.
God, dad, 2017 ends soon. grant us renew all 21 domains with bonus, my only source of surplus in bare living year long including boarding & lodging, spa, barber, monthly cinema, weekly dining out with woz, dearest son. grant us self-relying sooner my online portal of Royal China. bring me sooner my Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko, for future ahead, for tomorrow reality in eastern Asia. protect zhone 21 domains in our title & promising in their far-sight & far reaching game changing. grant us merry Christmas & lunar new year!

Nov 30, 2017

dreamt editing video as my old career in QRRS cable TV. a piece of video abnormal & frequently freezed. I reported to leader that its likely encrypted. my once departmental leader, likely framed me and side watched for my clueless while playing Mahjong with his pals in the studio. but I checked carefully to assure its not damaged but encrypted, then gradually decrypted the video. after that I posted my resignation notice for the unfriend environment in which the boss conjected with departmental leader setup me in. last night I felt sad for our new registrar, dynadot, so irresponsible to fix its problematic dns setting rule. it domain root record defies matched field, say title and value, but just arbitrary single value. while zoho mail hosting SPF and let's encrypt ssl dns verification both need title "@" matching txt value field, otherwise the only txt value wouldn't be recognized, and verification halt to proceed. such a simple malfunction defied many users' operational inc mine, and caused many complains in its user community. but after near 3 months after my transferation from godaddy, I yet saw fix at all. the boss of the company shows his leisure time with his pet dog in his pool on social media. this reminds me their less concerns with their product on which I deeply hope I can firmly cling to, after departed from godaddy which more intelligent and powerful esp dns setting, just in one shortcoming, too expensive & bargain needed in renewal. I hope our new registrar, dynadot, responsible, steady, but new found let the assumption shakeable. God dad, why domain registry so thin in scale of intellectual property, why is it so easy to be a domain registrar with such a problematic product while remains open service? it shakes my faith in American corporate moral, and traditional Chinese, esp from Taiwan, as dynadot founder is a Taiwanese, more equipped with merit of hard working and emotional smarter.
On Tuesday our ordered ssd from taobao arrived. but last mile express, contractor Yuantong express failed to deliver. I buzzed the agent according sms noticement and the man claimed he no longer in the job for days. so I visited local office of the contractor a bus stop away. the small office jammed with parcels. 2 women there helped me find my package after a quarter's scrutiny. Yuantong once had a wonderful service, speedy & well organized, but now seemingly in deconstruction. for its too earlier to fetch my son from his school, I lingered awhile in KFC local franchise, now under PRC native brand. there I found my alipay virtual credit, 花呗, resumes my limit from freeze. I paid a KFC groupon via the payment tool in a blink. that's so exciting even before I went to bed hours later, I still felt shocking satisfaction. I need credit so badly. in next days I wondered what credit is and how it can facilitate my life, I took granted that it only encourages installment. so this month I will equip my son & my own 3 items, woz's new boot, google home mini, and my tea, all in one installment and hopeful year end bonus will pay the bill eventually. God, dad, enlive quality service in American Chinese startup, esp established corporations like dynadot. bring me fruitful usage of credit. bring me my Royal China, my Crown Queen Asoh Yukiko for better management of monetary. grant me constructive credit adoption, and booming business my online portal empowers.

Nov 27, 2017

retrospect last week, it elapsed so peaceful. but in fact I burning for the coming salary which turned out extraordinarily surprising. previously I thought the year end most financially demanding tasks completed with 2 loans from my old hometown relatives, ie my sisters & brother. but suddenly my vpn service informed me renewal due in couple days, exactly Nov 22. while recently my salary released usually on 19th monthly. so I took it easily. from 19th, Sunday, I looked out hopefully descending of salary till 22rd, Wednesday. everyday I prayed for solution. it was a sunny noon on 22rd Nov, 2017, I gave up canteen lunch and hope my last salvage. but it didn't. then I sought out with blessing resolution for dorm canteen's loan. they didn't refuse my appeal, offer ￥1000 at once. with it I immediately deposited in my icbc credit account. CCP surveillance blocked my trading attempts for a quarter, then went smoothly. my paypal strangely refused my payment, claiming verification failure. so I ditched it and paid via alipay, a mainstream electronic financial tool in PRC. my vpn vendor listed under its transaction log in alipay. might be that's what PRC surveillance demands in defying of my paypal which done last year perfectly. then most wanted salary release notification sms arrived: with year end bonus, I got 4420 CNY. I had previously doubted many times my budget & salary supporting gap, and thought I will save my purchase from returning less to bank credit, which already warned me insufficient pay back & possible sue over me. the main coming bill is my son's desktop os, ubuntu on a ssd usb drive, and gift sending to my nephew whose first child, a daughter just born. I had already refrained from gifting his wedding ceremony nearly year ago. so this time my congratulation really due to manifest. they both costs ￥300. with the powerful salary, I maintained last month pay back standard, 500 CNY each for ccb & psbc credit debt, while clear all my due liability among bills active in life, except debt to canteen loan adds more hundreds. but in the afternoon, when I handed over ￥1700 including 200 to pay a woman staff there for my laundry, the canteen operative woman and her husband accepted without complains. God, dad, what a wonderful moment after so many neck breaking anticipation! in the night I informed my son online the clearance of bills and claimed only left unfinished is donation annually to poor kids in China mountainous area, and bbn bible radio. but now, I want more: equipping my son woz a pair of new winter shoes to replace his wrecked one, and my tea deficit for months. my son's programming lesson arranged by his mom stepping in, my preparing his desktop environment is portable os on ssd udisk hopefully running on hardware of his old dell notebook and intel nuc in his lounge. dad God, let my son adopt my suggestion, first step to master typing via training tools from chrome store on his chromebook. grant me helpful and his prompt execution for remaining aid from powerful google & online courseware. I have almost no more debt in his education, nor in my online business, our portal for Royal China and democracy of China progressive. God dad, grant me another surge of spacious budget for renew our domains year end, nearly 15 domains left. grant us happier lunar new year, and Christmas 2017. thx for this clueless post in firm hint of publish in rest of recent elation.

once stress now hilarity

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Thu, 09 Nov 2017 01:15:00 +0000

Nov 9, 2017

dreamt of a podcasting event. the host likely recent hot leaker, Guo wengui (@KwokMiles), who revealed lots of dark scandals of CCP high ranks. the first version was cancelled and the Guo decided to remake. a new van pulled in, likely as an award for the publish, but its tire is half empty. I among other volunteers push the van to podcasting stage. I also handle the microphone, wire connection, recording etc. yesterday really overwhelmingly elated. a planned event aid by my elder brother realized: renew woz's dearest domain, woz.fm for 2 more years now that migration to new registrar who support 4 years ahead to subscribe. our first registrar, godaddy forbidden more than a year to renew the domain, so every year I was anxious about it, and last year I actually paid more for the domain after it entered recovery mode strangely before expire date. also, the domain under icann's administrative increases price $25 since next month. so I badly want to save the ￥500 before new renewal charge complies. I never thought I would raise money from my hometown relatives who mostly live average lives. but God know its OK. my kid brother who has a small mill & bought 2 large houses, dishonored me bitchily each time I ask for loan, did same lest my another aid request. but my 2nd elder brother, my childhood main adversity and in recent years whose contribution to our old family, esp his favorite fishing skill brought more colorful meals in our old family times, warmed my heart and turned me into gratitude, and started to appreciate his loneliness & self-efficacy. this time he touched by my cause & urged my kid brother leased the loan from his own proxy, even his family was not so wealthy to loan me. God dad, now I gained loans from both my sisters and brothers, each ￥1200. 2017 designated to be blessing, like yesterday's shallow snow here. God dad, grant me growing our fortitude against harsher siege PRC surveillance setup us. let my ancestor's gift and needed support reach us in time coming years. let copycat tyrant missing in frustration. bring holy glories shinily on earth. bring me Royal China and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko to broaden my life entrenched so far here from limelight & sufficiency.

Nov 2, 2017

this post designated to be brief: I just want to report my satisfaction yesterday and today. yesterday I blogged without dream's escort and narration went smooth. this dawn I dreamt my temporary habitat in a remote place, say northwestern China. I managed a lot and barely got aboard, on train or airline, to Harbin, my current provincial capital. near last stop I found my destiny far from Harbin where almost half China apart from central China, my hometown. so intensive triumph turned half completed in fact & overestimated, I didn't regret but knew new journey ahead homecoming. then I woke up from vivid dawn surreal. yesterday I posted among boring, pale reality without nutritious dream. I contented with my work and avoid lunch. dining time I felt rewarding, and all female local people I concern shown in daily jog refreshing outside around QRRS square. their kindness leaves me supplement to complacency. after settled in dorm and TV time began, my kodi under heavy surveillance. search result of my favorite episode appeared but playing back abrupt quit before rolling up. still I harvested via youtube which much readier accessible. I learned current world affairs, some situation in China first hand there unmistakable. I also enabled gzip on my web server for speedier page load, after google reports test result on my site performance via gmail promotion. that's really nice to boost my site for greater audience. I have no other means to improve our voice, Royal China's emerging gospel, for world and our people beside this tiny technology. God dad, I really enchanted by podcasts' companion all day long during deadly siege by PRC tyranny, thx for the commodity, grant us freedom of voice & informative stream on base of poverty prevails mainland China with dying surge of ghost communism. bring me sooner my Royal China to broaden national. bring our Christmas day gift on time and cure our need of support of our living as well as investment in cyberspace. bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, to extend my life folded so many years alone. dad God, let me resilient as usual.

Nov 1, 2017

Its a sunny golden autumn morning. in the week I hardly in detailed dream, but still I felt so blessed. internet in PRC tightened much since the ccp congress. ai powered surveillance periodically disabled my internet upon triggered key word or something other incurred self-posed punishment. it can be dozen times in an hour. quite boring and spiteful. in the beginning of last week I almost thought I will be idle totally, but then on Wednesday I saw tasks: reinforce zhone dynamic sites with ssl from let's encrypt, a website promotes ssl worldwide with its free certificates issued more than thousands hundred copies. dabbog.com backend webapp also need update after near 2 weeks delay since its official update. I contacted godaddy hosting but the support crew made it clear that as a main upgrade godaddy will free itself responsibility but let my alone to do the update lest failure of lost. I loathed to join security tasks for I lack hacker experience and IT security training. after a day scrutinized the operational I launched near dinner time to upgrade my site, and smoothly done in an hour. it really cheers me up with new confidence in server management. next day I prepare ssl upgrade. I previously thought cert installation is the core problem, but soon I was detained by domain ownership verification hours. for one of my registrar's dns strangely didn't support root level text record, I have to single out a domain under the registrar for single certificate. then I got my first let's encrypt cert installed for 3 domains verified by dns txt record. cost some more time google web server's .htaccess hacking not to block file upload to server for verification, the another ownership of verification method adopted smoothly and 2nd let's encrypt cert installed. both likely least cost while my option one is server extension installation which has more impacts on linux os. its really marvelous to see zhone sites' ssl green & formally. since my first website on google cloud my ssl which is self-signed, never independent without malware's precaution and more click through before homepage load out. I also spend little more time to rip off http source of header & footer images to ensure full site ssl. in the weekend, ie Sunday, I demonstrated my work narrowly done in Saturday to my son, woz. my site traffic also booming recently, thanks God and faith we beholding. now its another Wednesday aimlessly, God dad, bless us with some engagements. bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen Asoh Yukiko, for family & homage. grant us year end bonus to sustain my small investment online, and our business never so prominent in China history.

Oct 21, 2017

dreamt enter university again. the day is opening school day. I with other enrolled youth led to our school and dorm. through scenery natural hill, we passed through crowd parents to get seat in our campus. lately I carried my son explained to crowd what's philosophy in my view and why I study in university gain. my anxiety of dorm wet and over jammed disappeared at destiny chamber and I won friendship from alumni, includes alumna. my explanation turned like public speech, by which even myself moved. yesterday is salary day. I got ￥3060, 200 less than last month. even so, I arranged my monthly reunite my son in my dorm after cinema. transfering 4 domains from godaddy to dynadot almost done. dynadot home website online chat did wonderful support work. after 4 or 5 contacts including with godaddy support via land phone, I informed by dynadot crew that .io since 2017 July refuse in its whois database stores registrant information. so my long time dissatisfaction with godaddy for its hiding my registrant info with .io sponsor organization is not their fault but limitation of newly incursion. in review my smooth transfer I left positive comment on godaddy facebook page praising their gracious service. the comment arose comments at once. some of them questioned if I was godaddy's post bot. last night I read an article how insane Chinese parents flattered their kids' teacher mischief in their teacher and parent social circle via wechat, a PRC mainstream social app, and despise other parents' lawful requests for their kid's privilege like mobile not be seizure by school authority, bargain for favor of teacher. most poor Chinese just too feeble & coerced confronting organizations. that's why when I contact service providers in cyberspace I prone to be thankful even they are within my privilege: I am afraid to be punished for dispute with legal person. that reminds me long time in PRC society legal person stamp on nature person in lawless reality in socialism, and why PRC Chinese made their society a hell of institutional crime swarm: indifferent bureaucracy, warded gangster groups behaviors, shameless prey, brutal bully, hate & cry for others' transparency esp free media of voices. these characters all led to tyranny, like most mid-east countries where poorest & most violent led civilian only option, to exile. most PRC Chinese want to be a leader in an organization, for costless or at least cost efficient gains, just try to manipulate a puppet & behind curtain. and most forceful puppet is national army, largest dog or monster the tyrant invent to rein constitutionally, at cost of national surrender and sacrifice. that's the reasonable consequence of a society prefers superman/trojan horse, ie legal person to nature human. I at first thought I got the hidden truth about Chinese failure, and its cure, Capitalism, but then I saw more insane is extinguish of free speech/express, freedom of media, death of publicity. that also led me to review President Trump's efforts to blame American media. I first time felt dubious upon Trump's intention, esp my hero, former President G.W Bush recently criticize Trump, too, even undebatable Trump's self-discipline of American, and America first, both holy strategy I believe in.
God dad, PRC stepping into new Empire. but tyrant lacks qualification to put him up for throne, like what happens in Russian shows, even the small bitch trying getting his new turn of Presidency, relentlessly. nobody except holy chosen leads to Crown. that's China future political landscape. thx dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China, with my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, with new territory we vested.

Oct 13, 2017

dreamt at hometown saw my kid brother had affair with a new bride whose husband's name same as mine in the village. he is an adopted son of a couple lately had their own younger son. in half nap I heard water heat system just water pumped in this season first time against chill and made sound inside channel. then I dream my kid brother bathed with the girl together in our old family's natural earth heat spring tube. the adulterous bride is granddaughter of the only woman whose most life is introducing half wizard religion with her tool of fate-telling in the village. my passed mother first attracted by the far neighbor then introduced to my dad, who since then more closer to faith and treated the old woman friendly in his late life till elapse. the old woman's surname is Mao, the same as PRC legendary leader. she never had a child and a life time smoker which quite strange among villager women. the bride father is also adopted by the old woman whose shrank husband also in surname Zhu as the founder of the village Zhudajiu, once prince of Founder & Emperor of Ming Dynasty. my kid brother introduced I had 2 other options to bath in the village. one is my aunt's homemade, another far from village near the village's dam & fountain. I hardly settled in man-powered bath tube in my aunt house. my youngest elder sister helped me to heat the water and chat with me. I just put off most of my lower part clothes but remained my chest covered in the scenario, squatted in bath tube before the water warmed up when later my cousins, ie my aunt's children, returned & gossiped around. I just felt awfully inconvenient with rural water heat system esp bath tube in dream likes old time rural toilet, maokeng or shit pit. in the last week I almost settled transferring out 4 domains from godaddy to dynadot. at first my son's domain, woz.fm, refuse display transfer authentication code. contacted godaddy then it fixed. then zho.io stuck in missing whois information and new platform can't find my email to send me initiating verification email to start transferring. I phone called godaddy 3 times barely explained my problem by my poor English. next day the hard initiative procedure rolling into track. that's all wonders I experienced after empowered by my hometown relatives' aid, and wonderful American gift of discount of my web presence cost, near ￥1200. the whole week in unease and relief of awesome of resolving. dad God, last to settle domain will arrive next Tuesday. help us clinch it unshakably. the whole week I felt unreal with the gain. now launch me in new land of adventure lest outpaced. God dad, in long run, let my investment on domain & our web presence weightless financially, burden free while rampant accessory as civilian in western democratic market nations. let us harvest in content and purposefully resourceful. in the week I review lots of my passed life, what my life means to others, including my son and my people in PRC. I hope my free of routine job while remains productive and self-rely. Dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China to carry mission longer. bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for better homing. thx for this golden autumn morning, dad.

in threat of domain lost, rejoy on new platform, dynadot

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Sun, 08 Oct 2017 02:22:00 +0000

Oct 8, 2017

dreamt with my son woz hangout computer market which located in narrow deep lanes. just after we find a set of converter for video or something, came 2 vendors bragged their new product which has a larger capacity than ours. but we didn't give up, and gradually retreated from the place. last night a drizzle turned clear with rhythm in my dream where I at first thought the sound of dripping is ants' eating dry wood, a scenario frequents my children hometown memories. today is my birthday and I will visit my son weekly after PRC boring national day & lunar mid-autumn day holiday, in which my once and long term workplace, QRRS, left me empty hand of seasonal bonus. I badly need the highly anticipated bonus to renew my domains but... But that penniless didn't fail us, with aid from my sisters at hometown instead. my sinful kid brother, who been a small workshop owner in southern China and acclaimed millionaire, turned off my request of cash in for efficiency & currency with my sisters' loan promised, so did my niece in Wuhan, central China. both cold shoulders with liars superficially polite. my nephew, who operates retail shop on taobao.com, the largest e-commercial portal in PRC, and a promising young man, 1st son of my 3rd elder sister, at first also delayed handing over the loan. but I fatally need the loan at once for something active in boring holiday I can engaged with. so I burst in air with my sister and her husband who casually gathering for his son's new house settled in eastern China. in minutes the loan arrives after my nephew avoids family shame and trouble possible from PRC secret surveillance over me & trenchs me in short & misery. with it I successfully launched transferring some of our most dearest domains to a new registrar who charges less. the saving is obvious: once ￥1200 only afford to renew a single domain, woz.fm at previous service provider, now covers our 4 domains among most priced after switched SP. God, dad, in shrinking PRC doomed economy, and daunting insane starvation casted upon my life on my vested land of China and eastern Asia by CCP PRC, I will support my domains ownership from my food savings, & life support together. we will fight for survival with our domains wholly, never broke. last night I adjust my budget on buxfer.com to forecast my monthly bill in resolution. Dad God, domain renewal crisis seemingly short time passed, but we looking for once and all solution to be independent with the intelligent property, like average civilian's normal possess in a middle wellbeing nation, burdenless. Dad God, in this blessing drizzle morning, I look forward more clearance of debt in year end 2017, and fresh starter of 2018 in new meaningful agenda. bring me sooner my Royal China with my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, with starting finance. bring solider China domestic affair against tyrant upon glooming world war 3rd.

Sep 26, 2017

dreamt at hometown in lunar Spring festival. my eldest cousin's 1st son and my 2nd elder brother's 1st son sit on my shoulders each, and soon my passed mother or other relatives, say my niece found my ears full of dirt, esp peanuts and dusts. they help pull huge long chain of this kind of sticky things inc peanuts, shells etc. I didn't blamed the 2 kids but I don't know why them fooled me. these 2 kids long time been used by their parents trying to challenge me, esp my growth via state education system. in the end, I noticed a half finished new house at outer of the village, on western part near the mountain. I was told it was my aunt, ie the jammed my ear kid's grandma, and her only daughter who already had 2 or 3 children but still under strict influence of her always cursing mother. I felt distressed for they doomed in hatred of my grand dad's family & our glories. It's a sunny morning. but I still felt chilly indoor. dad God, I need ￥1200 to renew my son woz.fm domain, which is due and only accepts annually renewal, no more several years' preorder like other usual domain. its a pain for me not only for its the dearest domain we have but also most tending demands. Dad God, in recent years there was seemingly less and less year end bonus which my main source of income to support my domains' renewal. now my 21 domain annual renewal prices near ￥5000, while the bonus seemingly shrinking. I previously thought the society as well as per capita income will increase decade by decade, but now I saw sterner scenario in which monetary surplus drained gradually. the people and society turning poorer every year. dad God, I still believe development of society, civilian's consumable income increasing, and consumable commodities including domain and websites with richer options as social welfare. but now, God dad, I felt harsher burden to afford our 21 adorable domains. grant us booming business and my biz self-relying. guarantee our domains' ownership over period when it matters to us. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to put things right up. bring my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for better management of financial affair. in this lonely PRC holiday put joys in my solitary in dorm. last night the wall near window of my dorm again cracked and shed some ashes & blocks, it turning a dangerous house. save me from the dumping, shift me into comfortable & gracious shelter, even astonishing my new family in new settlement. dad God, put faith in me for brighter future, and my promised Empire never hurries.

Sep 25, 2017

dreamt at an airport with my son, woz. I designed a heading clip for a competition event, but woz insisted adding his work onto it. I dislike the idea and warned woz we otherwise will lose the competition. this salary day full of joyes even there is no surprise in its amount. I paid usual bills and still arranged 2 dining out with woz inc one for his neighbor pal. debt to bankcomm finally cleared. now I looking forward a new credit card or credit limit in my current card resumes to its before late payment, both just for guarantee our adorable domains never fall into expired due invalid payment method. God, dad, Bank of China had refute my application last week. help me gain a work around for the deficit of credit. last week also sees woz monthly visit his dad's dorm after settled his salary. we ordered meal and ate them in dorm as woz likes. woz had his favor snack in the night and watched videos online. next morning we ate KFC breakfast. on Sunday we haunted a downtown hotel's canteen we recently frequented, and satisfied by its cuisine again. then we went public spa for shower. I told my son how I need a credit to avoid dependence upon the QRRS Dorm canteen operative woman, and how misshaped current business of zhone in fact possibly saves us from PRC seizure in messy dominating and lawlessness. woz promised to try to keep ownership over our 21 domains in his future. when he started homework as his mom arranged, I tried a new video game on steam platform. after felt boring and sleepy my son urged me to leave and I followed. I lingered in my dorm till this morning breakfast. God, dad, this weekend I will gather my son and his neighbor pal dining out. grant us a enjoyable dinner and happy time in the event. grant me anxious free PRC national holiday meals, esp another dining out with barbecued mutton with my son. grant us a working credit for domain renewal ready, and small bills capable esp in USD. thx dad, in this morning sunshine among trees' branches, and weightless blogging after weeks halt.

Sep 11, 2017

dreamt my aunt held party of our relatives at her house with my mom. most relatives chose cards to play but I reluctant to join. then some boys went fishing nearby. I still wandering. then they got some fishes. yesterday I dreamt funeral workers secret skill to search corpses for valuable items like gold or jewellery. on sea I with my son discussed with those kind of craftsmen, trying retrieve properties my ancestor left us. then dreamt my ancestor, Emperor and Founder of Ming dynasty, Zhu Yuanzhang, who busy with writing his empire civil law on his own. he treated me peacefully, and his looking was not so ugly as some PRC history books claimed. last week I first time practiced meal limit: I starved 2 lunches in 2 series days. the reason first likely for canteen operator woman not so welcomes me. then I felt ate too much next meal after the teeth cleanse operation. so I adopted fast and intended skip a meal every week now on, including 2 meals in 2 weekends which already executed months. yesterday also first day I felt so painful after implies new scheme visiting my son: once a week. in Saturday otherwise I will reunite my son, but I lonely stayed in my dorm, tasteless online. my dorm internet warded again all the week. and my son's chromecast strangely malfunctional. in God bliss I reset it and setup it working again. I urged my son makes well use of ward free web, esp spoken English and left him alone with his android games just after drizzle & public shower. the Formosa franchise restores service last Sunday, but hardly any changes after near 1 month "refurnish". I guess its in its wade now, like PRC does toward all foreign companies. a nearby hotel's kitchen where we haunt during the refurnish period let us missing its pure Chinese cuisine. and we didn't visit Islamic noodle restaurants for half year, nor Islamic pies, even cheaper there. God, this breakfast in canteen I ate more than usual, for last night I felt hungry. the background music and the adorable woman, the operative of the canteen, let me regret, for they both out of my reach and non-enjoyable. God dad, save me from temptation and useless emotional riot. put me in sole praying for my future family. help those longing get theirs. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Japanese Crown Queen Asoh Yukiko, to my new reality. grant us independent business online and offline prosperous in hundred decades. bring my son more chance of meaningful and joyful.

timed killing as sanctum precaution.

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Wed, 06 Sep 2017 05:28:00 +0000

Sep 6, 2017

dreamt of bring my son traveling to my hometown. in suburb of our current town, passing a hotel we met many witches and wizards. some ambushed us. some cursed us. some stealed us. some transfered our appearance. in first attack, my son lost his outdoor baggage in a blink. second attack turned my son a disabled kid with damaged arms, lost his 2 mobiles I prepared 2 years ago. my son later told me he hide them in a place intact. we were heading to a bus stop where we will travel to Tianjin, north China where I graduated and broke my heart for a girl collegian. in Tianjin we will switch a bus then reach its railway station and head to our hometown in central China. in homeless and changing fake idol, we held each other firm against misleading exerted by those dark power. sometimes I want blamed my son according his performance but I later gave up, for they were forged and fake. some witch attempted to trade or threat, and attacked after our refusal. its a frightening dream. my neck turns more stiff and painful after nap. last night I ate too much, esp snack from street vendor near dorm gate and got sore water in throat midnight after woke up abrupt. I so gave up breakfast in canteen, and just napped. there were so many hatred in area of QRRS that I really felt. for example, the day before yesterday, a pile of dog shit or feces laid exactly front entrance of the dorm gate which using fence to narrow route. I after dinner and routine dusk jog started and in a blink stepped onto it through the limited outlet. the night a middle size rain cleanse the dirty road. then in last dusk another small plastic bag in which likely bloods and dirts held laid there, pits the road block. a stubborn freak in his 60 or 70 constantly challenges me on my way jogging in dusk. twice the sin copied and according my changed route around the QRRS square just to facing me and deface my innocence. God grants my killing over the rubbish, the enemies of zhone Royal China. its a sunny noon now. I sunburn after lunch in the dorm minigarden, till nearby Senior middle school students came canteen for lunch. its very brilliant during recent clouds and rains. God dad, you guide me so far I didn't make any change around me. you tells me my security intact so far for future more widespread slaughter. yes dad God, I remember and trying remember the betray and profanation of my Royal China. grant me lighter heart for enjoying my daily bread and social times. bring me my Japanese Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko, for better future of felling PRC, failing Chinese on mainland. guarantee our spiritual uprising on Christian way. thx dad God.

Sep 5, 2017

dreamt with a Russian scholar visited Bill Gates' futuristic house. Bill at first introduce his encyclopedia. then his wife treated us dinner. his daughter also appeared. while lingering I studied my subjects. yesterday I in my life first time received dental health care: teeth cleaning. it's a small local clinic, which charged me ￥80, dearer than most web q/a. but the girl likely a deputy doctor worked diligently and careful. the second half operative did by another woman likely a doctor and a bit harsher. uncomfortable in the procedure ignorable but time spent endures matters. I spent near 1 hour, even when I left I felt relived. its my 1st step adopting western lifestyle in grace and managed. last Sunday afternoon I arranged woz monthly cinema. I waited him from his music class half hour in Qiqihar supermarket. the nearby guard of the market even doubting my task while I using my mobile to read there but no communication in air. after my son gloriously appeared, I presented him ice drink, movie "Dunkirk", and hotpot before taxied home. its wonderfully planned and executed in a pack. but the night I slept so deep that next morning I felt clueless and unclear when I visited my son for shower in public spa. his computer locked him out after too many logon failure due to the problematic mouse. so I spent another half day to reinstall windows. his mom, the small bitch, tentatively brought him out and lingered somewhere lately after 7pm when I left the house after settle all issues fixed. I wanted to report to my son my achievement and confidential but unable. my son also forgot bringing his mobile in usual hurry with his domineer mom. returned to dorm, I doubt if I carried frustration and tasteless after my son under expectation so many times putting me in despicable. but I decided to care my son full heart. so I buzzed him online and introduce my finished work and blamed him for dispensable mobile, which blocked my access instant and let me felt inferior to his mom hijacking him with superficial educational purposed activities. PRC government like a cheap teacher monopolies education and all time pretending orthodox draining otherwise creative initiatives. God dad, break through the fake idol, free my Chinese society from lifeless stagnant. bring me my Royal China, and my Crown Queen Asoh Yukiko from Japan, for humanizing social flesh and architecture. grant me sustaining my adorable domains with meaningful future world mapping.

Sep 1, 2017

first dreamt a veteran politician intended to make me a mayor. I then follows a group municipal bureaucracy to a mine field in city hall. we each hunted for diamond, golds, etc. then dreamt I was an entrepreneur. our product is astronomical components. then dreamt a group tourists visiting my elder brother's house. they likely helped my brother for his celebration of event with their colorful performance show. after they all left marching I left to blog in dream but delayed and unable settle. my youngest elder sister and my 3nd nephew accompanied me at home. when the guests came back, we and friends of my elder brother grouped into 2 delegations to compete with dart or shooting. my son attracted many audiences with his adorable when the party went hot. its a sunny morning while I napped most of mornings in the week. last night is strange: I recklessly tried to protect the dorm canteen after noticed likely mafia threatened and extracted custody fee. recently in at least 3 occasions I saw hooligans lingering in dorm canteen, superficially peacefully occupied seats with fewer orders but just wasted time unusually late. that's threat of troubles. last dusk I brought the canteen another water melon from street vendor and let canteen workers prepared some for me to eat. there were only another guy in the dorm there for dinner, and a 3 middle aged men group there detaining with few orders. I felt glad with my melon and soon left. in my room I reviewed the scenario and perceived the canteen operating family's under bully. so I re-visit there and saw only their kid and their father left accompanied the lingering pests. I loudly talked with the old father and angers left me left abrupt. in half hour I visited the canteen 3rd time. the 3 hooligans left in dark dusk with heavy bags each. I urged the father if they had problem they should contact QRRS authority but he shown skepticism. in the night I review my situation with rotten PRC society under shadow of world largest mafia, CCP, dogs tyranny. God, sooner or later your faith holder will be attested against sins and swan song of warlord, world communism esp inflated PRC. instil us with strength of faithful. shift us from dangers of brutal accusation. bring me sooner my Royal China, and Asoh Yukiko, my Crown Queen from Japan, to enhance my life span. bring me stable investment reward for constant growth in business. thx dad, for the peace and hope.

Aug 25, 2017

napped since morning and dropped lunch. dreamt in earlier era with my elder brother vivid and his pals trading & discussing startup a company. I with my son interested in accounting and attempted to work for them in its early phrase and brought some innovative ideas. then dreamt in marching army. when the army at rest during raining, we tried to cross some units seeking for shower. in a jammed barrack girl and boy Scouts trade their items. I offered a sd card to trade, likely with my son's companion, at least 5 or more items from different traders gathered in front for exchange, including cards and other gadgets. most of the pals so friendly that we glad there for a drifting living. I woke up at noon when sunny outside. last night my son told me his Junior school life started with army training camp as prewarm. that explained why the night before yesterday he slept before 8 pm when I buzzed in. on his face some appear some hard thorns, as on his arm, that aroused my notice during our video chat online. he might frustrated. I also soon to search web for what it is. God, dad, we trust your mercy. then I regretted my unease would cause my son's overreaction with burden. I watched some embarrassing human bodies videos on youtube, and fragile of healthy body taught me lessons. I long time afraid of virus and that worsened when I napped. I unease with my pillow, one of them cheap quality and some dirty spots appeared even disgusting blackened. I felt my neck itching but I know mostly it's fake response. dad God, in siege of zhone's enemies, we naturally alert upon poisons, insanities and profanations. God, last dusk I saw separating us from common wealth of Zhong society attempts, threaten me of baseless includes my current comparable stable life with economic income. God dad, my ancestor left me resourceful and basic supportive standard allowing my innovative upgrade to breakthrough stagnant smothers Chinese society in hundred decades in failing sanity. that's my mission in this era. grant us freedom of starvation, brutal labor, motionless, and shoulder me on resilient of Zhong in relations. dad God, promise me the value of my workload.

message & revenge arriving endless shinny.

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Tue, 22 Aug 2017 02:06:00 +0000

Aug 22, 2017

This morning napped on chair before breakfast and delayed and avoided breakfast in dorm canteen. I dreamt long time secret chaser of my dad's voiceless life coach: the husband of my mom's close friend, also her niece under surname, Hu, and Mei (plum in Chinese). the Mei over decades been cadre of his village and executed CCP planned parenting sternly but he indeed bred more than 6 children, mostly after my last brother's birth years later, contrary to the policy targets powerless family, just attempted to copy and overwrote my dad's glories. I have sibling of 6, that's long time the source of relentless hatred of the chaser of my dad as moral director. he sent his first son to CCP army in western China and always boasted bribery army leader with local feather food, via long distance parcel express. when my dad passed, the village cadre first hand attended my dad's funeral and on air joined my phone call, told me I needn't return to see my dad's bury, after my mom's dubious mourning voice in the phone some twenty hours after my dad left us. he chased my dad hard and attracted most of my old family, sometimes includes me, by his cordiality. he must uncomfortable in front of my dad, his brilliant hero, or mirror of his sinful, his life's propose. yesterday long time waited salary released. no more and no less ￥3227. within half hour I dispatched and solved it. I managed paid credit debt less to spare to pay more local debtee, dorm canteen operator who claimed in urgent expenditure. I didn't know if they satisfied for when I went to return money, they absent and his helping dad there accepted. God dad, I tending asking my kid brother to loan me to buy this month medicines. he long time attracted by the cadre relative, and envied my dad's glories. he even hated me under God's shine. in my first call back after my dad's passed by, he talked to me and seemingly hardly hide his relief. now he cover my boarding, ￥700 *13 yearly and hated cost even a dime more for my hard credit debt crisis. he took over all my credit cards and then told me he lost all of them. dad God, copycat or hidden enemies, graceless cheap souls, why it hurts us, dad, for they humiliate us? manifest me more on creativeness and sin of stealth. God, dad, my startup, zhone publication online bundled with 21 adorable domains, likely starts its life from my self-proving out of my asylum trap. I never expected that, burning alert after broken heart for girl collegian, or sleepless nights. my world ruined after the record of the stain. I told my son's mom when I left the asylum 3rd time after she hijacked me with her sinful mother in my son's infancy with which God smashed me again against thickest dark PRC plots sabotage/crucifies our naive Royal China, and claimed my only job since then would be my blog, my murmur of my meaningful universe. now it all brought about. and enemies of zhone feared. dad God, let justice and revenge in time to wash me, cleanse my glory of dents and dusts. dad, even I don't promise killings, I do promise righteous weightless baptism.

Aug 19, 2017

this is a sunny morning. I put my quilt outside for sunburn, while since workload I preparing for coming salary. this month I borrowed near ￥800 from dorm canteen. and the operative woman urged me to return my debt more for they are in urgency to make use of it. I tried once to contact my elder sister for aid but so far didn't connect successfully. last Wednesday after I made full backup of zhone publication online, I walked to visit my son midnight, in pains of not attend him so long in my solitary, against risk of unhealthy tendency the dark world trying assert on him. my son calm heard my fear and soundly chose maintain our current life unchanged, except my purposed new weekend reunion once a week, from 2 visits weekly. its the first new routine in place and now I still penniless. in the week the dorm lan administrative attempted to bring down my vpn and in 2 days I barely surfing freedom web. so I prepared for harshed surveillance, installing windows client which more robust and workable as new hub of connectivities. God, dad, I'm in such a pitiful situation that I totally under your mercy. help us and ensure our ward free web. this week passed smoothly, lest my bothering of looking out for my son's presence, except now when I waiting for financial support to fetch him for monthly reunion in my dorm. dad God, sinking PRC step by step tighten rein over overseas purchase, among which my domain investment endangered for our registrar chosen godaddy against PRC's lawless tyrant seizure. now they put alipay and tenpay, Chinese most domineer online payment tools, under its account, not only for monetary profit but also for its political advantage. my 21 domain renewal also heavier burden in shrinking civilian income nowadays PRC. dad, whatever is its fate with my namespace accompanies me decade, I choose abide with your putting me on the holy road of commitment and joys. dad God, 2017 summer now turns drier and crisp, golden moment in northeastern China under siberia. God dad, my job and agenda fulfilled so well that I linger here with thankfulness. guide me with larger target and brighter goal in time for achievement brought out by our endeavors already, esp by my son, woz's. in weeks he will step into his junior middle school. in less promising PRC education system, what I can expect him out of rat race among cheap young Chinese? dad God, cater to him, Hope of China, to expertise of academy and physical skills. his video game skill quite considerable adequate, while his eyesight suffers. protect him from aimless and tasteless. thx, Father.

Aug 9, 2017

dreamt among my old family in my hometown gathering. my youngest elder sister told me my nephew, ie. my passed eldest sister's first son, least person in my relatives capable of academy, also improving English by learning from his foreign clients, aside my eldest brother's son who almost mastered English in his self-employed work in southern China. my nephew previously almost a hooligan in local factory. now he owned a small business and totally self-taught English and MBA, while the other nephew graduated from a common college and contacting English during promoting his uncle, my younger brother's company website, faezrland.net, and engaged in sharpening it in career. I astonished by relation between my old family and English, likely since my passed dad once worked under invading Japanese army occupied our mountain and demanded labor for kitchen fire. In dream I felt urgency to boost my son's English skill sooner, with blessing tools we now had esp fenceless web. today is my 2nd day employing new routine which seeking avoid sleepiness in morning by offering free morning nap instead. previously I arranged reading news in morning but mostly very sleepy and miserable in buffeting mind exhaust. now I shift rss reading to noon after lunch. after breakfast I just turning on radio and shifted myself to bed as will. my job now mostly concerning reading, watching, ie. informative process. quality of sober time matters more than quantity of time available, so I afford more napping and rest before jumping into work space. God, recent kodi brings so many qualified source of video and audio online, I felt so rich on our stock of information. promise us the viable of our ward free web, shift our focus from method of acquiring to quality of intelligence on which we enjoyed and worked so much. dad God, coming weekend my purse is empty while I try hard to prepare my son, woz, monthly cinema experience in his boring summer vacation. aid us toward the goal. drift our hard time in sinking PRC economy to new phrase of enjoyable staying alive or survival. bring my investment rewarding. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for better management of my Royal China. thank you, Father.

Aug 5, 2017

first dreamt likely before graduation when we visited a temple. I got vision that wisdom like underground water resource, connected among different lakes and pools below. I talked with a nun and saw complicated world view. then we packaging for leave the campus after graduation. Xiao Jindong, my lower berth schoolmate committed suicide in his 30s' for poverty and jobless after graduate and constrained lived on land of his old parents in rural, intended to sent his package via railway and his own traveled among common travelers. I liked traveling with my schoolmates and trying persuade Xiao join us for companions. after nearly a week drizzles, it now left cloudy. yesterday my kid brother buzzed in after near a month after I scorned him for his mean and comtempt to me, refusing loan me ￥200 for raspberry pi, he approached for affirming that I still boarding in dorm canteen, and pay due to the small business after months delay. I guessed there must be some good news there in his life, otherwise he wouldn't be so generous. for penniless I again begged canteen woman for loan to support my dining out my son weekends. she in surprise and asked me to turn in on Saturday when I asked her in Friday lunch. last Wednesday godaddy hosting support team buzzed me for my site infected by malware, I called back and talked twice with them. a man then a female staff received my call online. we talked about half hour, roughly made my claim heard that I was helpless and trust them to deal with possible intrusion and aftermath fixation, all with my poor English. next day my infected web app, forum at http://bbs.zhuson.com , updated to newest version when its due according the app's official blog a month ago but strangely untouched and vulnerable in most July. I doubt why godaddy lost control so long but still I trusted them till this outbreak led them to fix. now with sounder update, I felt much securer and relaxed.
after returned to bed, dream still in family gathering. I persuade some pals among my relatives to loan me, telling them about my investment, esp 21 domains, and booming future.

2017 summer in Qiqihar, northeastern China brings quite some cloudy days and rains. here QRRS Dorm in morning drizzle and wet houses. here the canteen view.

moisture fuels hopes in summer 2018

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Wed, 02 Aug 2017 23:03:00 +0000

Aug 3, 2017

dreamt in army or in army training camp. in break my schoolmates asked me to write them a song for talent show but I really in brewing. a quick shooter schoolmate already wrote a song which exaggerate those propagated emotions. when schoolmates trusted my comments, I went straight and dislike promoting normal feelings to sanity. but without show to entertainment those who admire you, can be really embarrassing. this week drizzled a lot. my quilt turns wet indoor. I continued to make well usage of my new raspberry pi. but buggy rtandroid made a hell experience with lagging and frequent exit and halts. I spent half day to realize its cheap toy and shouldn't put more load onto it. isn't its independent running os satisfying? isn't it hardware essentially for handy computing a real alternative? I found the fact in huge relief and started to enjoy our dear kodi in the night. then I can't help innovative re-config via command lines rather than GUI to spare nvram on my router for better performance. when all done and went to bed, I doubt how much it worthies while a dearer product will have much ample nvram not to considerate again and again. is my job cheap or funny? or I just educated? this morning when I launched to spare nvram on my router via escaping GUI saving settings, I even mistaken network down. I had to visit dorm lan administrator for help. the woman in charge of surveillance cold shoulders to me and I finally found my fault in setting. near 11 pm my target archived and I called it a day with bliss. while I busy with my todo, some of my environment turned hostile to me. the dorm canteen woman tentatively shown her despise. women in dusk jog also reserved for my appreciation. I'm getting old and they shame of my humble and empty promise. many secret plots against me among hooligans around. God dad, I didn't see my farewell show and nobody deserves to probe. dad God, I was contented with my life here with hopes and distresses. bring me sooner my Royal China with my prosperous offspring. bring Asoh Yukiko, my Crown Queen from Japan, for our better life and enjoyable harmony in daily arrangement. without Japan, without China in future world of economic and sustainable while gracious.

Jul 29, 2017

dreamt invited my son, woz and his mom to go cinema. his mom in anger and after movie abrupt brought my son with her horse left. I had to endure aftermath the reckless woman's rage, find my horse and in dusk search for boarding. in my aunt, passed years ago without notified me, in her husband village I find a mid-aged villager in his yard offering help. he accompanied us find my aunt's house, which is usual half empty and sedative. we talked about my family, esp my passed eldest sister who committed suicide in her prime and helped me a lot, her 2 children, her son and her daughter and my obligation and concerns. then I decided to visit possible home my son and his mom might might settled. on way my niece passed by us and offered some sweet famous local feature snack to us. I likely with my son with whom I felt so warm in heart. I recall and chat my son how I liked the feature food and each time never enough in my childhood. its warm pastime of the dream. its a late sleep till near noon for my relax after the week. I'm now penniless while hours late I will visit my son and bring him dining out. last Wednesday I again worked overnight, to settle 2 raspberry pi 3 before my additional case ordered on taobao arrives, and backup os images before put into usage. the week spent in understanding raspberry pi os availability before making our choice to adopt ubuntu, libreelec, and android. in the process I learned more and sharpened my linux skill, esp after 2 failures accidentally deleted home folder with hidden mounted external disks and ruined plugged usb devices most. I had to rebuild ubuntu and multi-bootable disks in the devastation. rebuilding rewards: new os ran smoothly installing gapps on my raspberry pi android, against disk space shortage previously frequent me and failed my many saving efforts. after almost thoroughly perceived the situation of the raspberry pi world and community, I closed my solution and brought it to see my son on Friday afternoon, after felt boring and sleepy in enjoying online stream our lovable kodi brings. woz arranged practicing e-piano at home and glad seeing his dad. in the vengeful small woman, son's mom's bully and scorn I arranged my son familiar with his new toy, including new os on it, and my own setup lunar calendar on his 2 android phones for informative lunar weather for the soon lapsing summer 2017. my son immersed in new experience of kodi os, linux terminal mode. in the exciting meeting, my sleepiness evapored and energy fills me with meaningful fullness. I settled like a bean. as to my raspberry pi's android, I likely left some remnant bugs to fix, but I will cop it with conquering reign and leisure. God dad, this morning dream really strange and surreal. bring me sooner my new family when I enliven with it. bring my crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for our vested territory on eastern Asia, for our people and homeland. dad God, grant us affordable cinema experience this month and next around woz's new school term, which his start year in Junior middle school. grant us to visit Walmart local market with adequate purse capacity. we enjoyed the sale giant trustworthy so much!

Jul 21, 2017

dreamt in my hometown in a camp. first our village under huge refurnish for tourism. my dearest passed dad, mom, both appeared in dream. there was a town hall just under my dad's old house and in a row of houses there was performance and performers from nearby villagers. there were herd of visitors. then found I was in a travel delegation, in which quite some photographers members, inc girls. we managed to lift ourselves via a lever to higher level. in our team there was a girl film fan closely collaborated with me and we almost led to friend. my sinful elder cousin of my uncle's family, who worked for government long time, again in his separation and kept aside from our villager's ongoing emerging new business. its a sleepy morning. I felt sad why I recently so sleepy in the morning, which so irresistible, arbitrarily and concludes without delay. that reminds me my 2nd elder brother's habit in which he can sleep anytime and any occasions in minutes when spared. I long time wondering why he behaves so, and now the same symptom likely happens on me. and I more and more saw boring's power overwhelmingly stops a working mind. Just now a cop called in for my PSBC credit debt. he urged me to call him back but I wouldn't. God dad, they don't wait another 2 month when I will clear bankcomm's debt and starts to return ccb and psbc's. as to recent works, its quite fruitful. my ordering woz a raspberry pi 3 leads me to research other oses like ubuntu, libreelec, rt-android, etc. the linux based home media center, libreelec at once attracted me, as I was in process equipping my son a better living experience including TV and other entertainment. sooner after found it working to provide reliable source of online stream, I deployed it onto my desktop wintel, chromebox, and raspberry pi. with knowledge of online community and powerful google, I soon turned my chromebox into dual booting chromeos and libreelec, cheap but viable. my nephew, ie elder son of my youngest elder sister, loaned me ￥230 to buy raspberry pi for my son, but refused me another order 2 days later to update air drier powders against wet dorm near toilet I laid on taobao.com. so I turned appeal to my niece, ie first child of my eldest brother, his daughter, for loan to buy myself another raspberry pi. it succeeded with some trifle exchange of view over credibility of PRC's software mostly shamelessly preying its user base. and this month salary barely satisfying, near ￥3300. I mistakenly paid back ccb instead of bankcomm to whom there is a debt under ￥2500 and can be cleared at max 2 months within. last dusk jog I review my lingering naps and saw my wondering dream of a new family, a real family of my own in which I authorized, catered to my relatives. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to support my new family. bring my girls into new reality shapes new eastern Asia. grant me free of debt and joy of living.

Jul 12, 2017

summer 2017 turns much milder after many small rains. and my room window again gathers lots of bugs. yesterday I delivered our first raspberry pi 3 to my son, woz for his study. we managed install it. after 2 failures due to file system format misconfig, we boot it up with noobs 4 on tf card formatted by my chromebook. in the harsh process debug, we amateur damaged a 16GB tfcard and had to use his 32GB tfcard for his portable boombox instead. such a elation after saw raspberry pi interface! after let it downloading Rispbian I left it to my son and arranged he sit in front of TV and returned to my dorm. a thunderstorm just left and air outside freshly crisp. last week boosted by improved salary, we ordered several inspiring goods online, inc 2 seat cover made of cooler materials for summer, a backup vpn router, and raspberry pi 3. my own have an order for replacing used air drier powder made in Japan in my QRRS dorm, 3rd time replacement order with the same vendor on taobao.com. my credit debt near clearance to bankcomm.com after this month, and my total credit debt to other 2 banks mounts below ￥40000, a great relief for me. in this regard, I more and more thinking my long term ownership over zhone 21 domains I cherished so much and indispensable. I also saw decades hereafter my life and investment and intelligent property registered. God dad, put me anxious free upon stealthy CCP and robbing vicious human population competition pressure. promise me my vested Royal garden and shadow of trees and plants, song of birds and bees. this dawn dreamt a lot about prominent global topics, which now in evaporation. last night I in deep content after watched episode on amazon, for faith and pride. God dad, I'm in no one's enemy when I in holy bliss. target me in your future mission all world gathering bravery. if cheap souls can't discipline themselves, the chosen does. let America acts and makes adjustment at will, like Trump did for US, graciously and arbitrarily as whole family as vocation. dad God, people nation and shrine of Holy lending its way. grant me the breakthrough toward new land and territory that renew our old oath and blood bond in eastern Asia. God, bring me sooner my Royal China and Asoh Yukiko, my crown Queen from Japan. lives me another child and a family here.

out of curtained chase, covert inflicting adversity.

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Sat, 01 Jul 2017 03:35:00 +0000

Jul 1, 2017

dreamt of training of Royal member, ie. noble court and Prince himself. how his attitude toward his servants, esp 3 closest counselors/secretaries, can affect the quality of leadership. saw philosophy in ruled social interactive or code of eloquent. then dreamt with my wife treated in a banquet, with social skill just learned in train. last week's shopping online, a backup router Asus RT-N66u, finally ruined by PRC surveillance. the express, STO.com, totally denied the parcel it serving, just as taobao's logistics. the poor vendor kindly promised me to check why the parcel missing or went wrong, but after 1 day he rebuffed my call and prompt refund me instead, likely unspoken shame of PRC secret cop's hassle intimates him, seals his mouth from disclose iron curtain. with the money returned, I at once ordered another from different vendor now that the market is full of the product. within the day, around 4pm, the vendor sms informed me parcel dispatched. God, dad, how I glad to hear that! yesterday after read news that squareup.com offers in account credit service, I decided to give it a try. but when I trying signup the wonderful website, my internet worsen and inaccessible for 3 hours. I finally gave up and shut down computer. PRC dog likely warns me that even with most powerful network hardware, they still interceptive in my internet traffic, or blocks my financial connection with American service. however, after dinner and a thunderstorm, I smoothly claimed 2 zhone accounts with squareup.com and its affiliate, cash.me . without US SSN number most services out of my reach, esp highly expected in account virtual credit, or deposit in site, but still the wonderful service from the same founder of twitter.com, generously offers us 2 vanity url, https://cash.me/$faezrland and https://cash.me/$zuocenter . I can't be more proud of the operation out of distress of surveillance. in the week I also modified 2 online resource of google sites' widgets, both of google photo's, to fit my online brand, and deployed onto my portal. visit them on http://www.be21zh.org/regalbum . hope the author grants my reusing his code in xml file that show my google albums' rss source. and I honestly pray google sites, now confronted by google new sites, doesn't elapse into disappear. zhone assets based on the service remarkable hugely sustain. God, dad, this month I merely left ￥100, grant us a happy weekends with my son, woz, Hope of China. bring sooner my crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for better management of my vested Empire of China. bring me my second child as namespace billingzhu.com prepares, and his locked facebook account into using. with adequate financial support, dad, God, I live anxious free in this eccentric city for future open and welcoming eastern Asia.

Jun 27, 2017

dreamt near lunar spring festival at my hometown. saw changes in the village: newly built dam control gate and road. the road near dam gate left with deep and steep wheel dents due to insufficient budget for concrete. I saw our village field, flowers and leisure villagers among it. In dream I married my niece, ie. second daughter, the tallest in her sibling of my mom's niece in a village around. but we were divorced soon in dream and our son left me sad for the changing life. last week full of joyes with improved salary. my urgent bills wrote off by it. now with ￥200 loaned by dorm canteen I will visit asylum for medicine today. my backup cellphone, an old moto, hacked and ill behaved, so I deleted critical database on it immediately. it usually disabled both wifi and bluetooth, nor sim card in it. so likely hacker with direct control on it. I wondering if the facing door, a secret cop surveillances me since weeks ago, stealth into my room and injected it malware. my parcel from ordering used router for vpn on taobao.com, delayed a week still it only left one logistic information: dispatched by vendor a week ago, and nothing else happened in other 6 following days so far. another item, a usb card reader, its logistic information also hijacked several days till it reached locally before updated on time. PRC close surveillance sometimes made me sad. the facing door dog, with all its momentum after just settled, half open his door all day and night, unshakable anonymously fixed my door which was tight and sometimes my son in monthly visit even can't push open on his own, likely in weekends when I left to visit my son 3 bus stops away, just under corridor webcams' monitoring evidently and lawlessly. now that my broken door too loose to hold close breeze, I intended directly lock it down after I enter, distant from any spy around in guise superficial sharing privacy any more. the facing cop also in recent days gave up letting its door half open to peek and eavesdrop. my cold shoulders toward his posed free community but just surveillance from which he earns his dog life, likely conveys strong dislike and ruins his fool's joys and presumable fake poise. he also likely partially completed his mission: stolen my password keeper's database, infected my portable devices with trojans and keyloggers, licked my floor with its dripping messy tongue. the long challenge for a clean os out of controlled and poisoned environment in PRC's hooligan nation really drains me, let me feel boring and labored. what's laughable is that, the neighbor tall dog, once pretending cough every day and spitted everywhere in excuse of his illness, these days silently stay unnoticedly astray, quit both domineering and his condemn the tidiness of dorm public space. CCP authority has its power just upon those cheap souls and zombies which label price of manipulation. dad God, save me from fatigue of faith in long run. bring me sooner my Royal China to discipline China and Chinese under holy. remove trifle divided with merciless by forcible authority and in glory of united one. God dad, bring me sooner my crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko, from Japan, for coming age. bring me more offspring to sustain the 1109 years life of my Empire of China under title Zhu's. bring me lighter credit debt in coming months.

Jun 22, 2017

gradually people around me turns better treating me. my gaze when I jog in dusk turns some women and girls friend to me but also gathers hatred. reviewing women in my life so far, I sometimes touched by kindness and grace of QRRS Dorm canteen woman who operating the small business with her diligent husband. his husband is a tall pal, his kindness to his wife is enviable. these days I likely overdo my kindness to them, and easier led to misunderstanding. I always remember first time I met the spouse when their business just open, how the woman confident and contented. I then felt I can help her with her target, wellness & independence. now about 7 years passed I didn't miss it. sometimes love recalls my campus life, esp master degree seeking period when I met Asoh Yukiko. God blesses me with brave heart, whole vision and all those memories so timeless cherished. I don't want to hurt anyone, but the canteen woman's husband likely taking, for his less gifted, for his property appreciated. God, fix my poised with due humility. yesterday I gained a bonus from QRRS, my once and long time employer, just after a day my salary released, which increases near ￥500. the bonus addes another ￥500. with it I renew my godaddy hosting plan for another half year immediately. also renew billingzhu.com a year. with improved salary I ordered backup router from taobao.com, as incredible satisfying and enzymes me in super confident mood. 2 days passed I still felt the content. yesterday I also retouch my homemade gadget on google sites, which now tending to ban such hosting function and my in time usage likely saves me extra cost from google's wonderful and generous free service. see them on most of our zhone portals homepage, in section of blog rss feeds and tweets, youtube, groups, donation links. its nice feeling, for even I never master scripting skill still I probing those scripts and tailored them into my buildups. I gain so much from my education, my ability to self-taught. dad, God, bring me sooner my Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko, and my Empire of China for larger comfort in my life, for fulfilling the proud creator life experience. grant us a happy monthly reunion 2 days later, and monthly cinema and walmart shopping in a pack with dearest son, woz.

Jun 19, 2017

Its a sunny morning, I felt obliged to get up and do something. Recent testing tomato router script put me in a worker’s mindset, absolutely nothing else beyond task memories. I dived so hard that I merely recognize other things than occupied by inch in inch progress I strode outward chaos and no effect. My son last Saturday lost his desktop logon confidential, So I taught him to reinstall windows 10 and roughly customizing before backup to image. He reluctant but worked with me, while his sinful mom, a cheap junior school teacher, close watching my tutorial on computer. She occupied her house every free hours out of work, grasps dirty money from tuitions she ought to offered on job. After 3 years and graduated and then 2 decades, she every more than 12 hours in a day earning from the educational bits even it's shabby in quality in her college. I more and more felt its insane. My son due entertainment ruined for his mom’s house forever a craft hut for his mom and her cheap pupils. In this view, I recently relentlessly equip my son with lounge TV and English programs, on which he enjoys and absorbs when his visits monthly my dorm and on my seat. I hope the moment he enjoys staying with me and my workspace forever prolonged. So last month I equipped him a touchpad k/m combo for convenience of remote input on pc and android TV. The Chinese product works smart even we anxious about keylogger and other spy wares lawless PRC breeds, in favor of dog CCP and state surveillance. My son more or less accepted my arrangement, promoting him from mobile games he excels now and adopting more language and expressive method as his new skill to master. I times and times urged him makes fair use of our borderless web. I hope he enjoys meanings in American culture stocked in amazon prime video and youtube, vimeo sites. My trustworthy video education, defied me in youth decades, pacifies me more than 2 hours daily, broaden my worldview and wishfulness so much that I have to put on forth my son, for his beneficial social experience and nutritional source of moral and spiritual. God, dad, my life so rich that I’m constantly complacent. Bring my son meaningful in his scope of activities. Bring me sooner my Royal China to protect her from poverty grilling the land and souls only left after CCP and PRC. Bring producing capacity our fatherland sustains before the burning out in cheap dealer like communism. Bring me sooner my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for unfinished mission we beset, among a never seen silver proud heaven on eastern Asia. Thx you, dad God.

a newly budding tree in QRRS Dorm where the Son, benzrad, praying and sustains.

source: Regalbum China at zhone family album, Royal moments

threats of robbing in poverty infused PRC by CCP dog.

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Tue, 13 Jun 2017 00:49:00 +0000

Jun 13, 2017

a relaxing dream in which I visited my artist friends in Tianjin art college. at first I dreamt with BianQiong, my Tibet painter friend, and his friend. they live in dorm like a family. then shifted to a house near gate and some of those students there working and chatting. I using English with a friend from my hometown neighbor county, who is humble and treated me well during my visited BianQiong in vacation, so the moment didn't paid him enough attentions but kindness felt. he sometimes mixed with my impression on another guy in the art college who also attracted me with his able attitude. we chatted in English but my English seemingly not fluent enough and sometimes the students there in the house perceived it. its a peaceful dream and I without any pressure but enjoy staying. last 2 weeks I too busy to blog. my son's nexus 6 lost after forgot to fetch after sporting, likely accompanied by his sinful intrusive mom, a really small woman and poor gifted junior teacher. but next day she registered the lost on local stadium administrative and it returned intact. I even disappointed by my son's loose management and bad habit, but ready to accept the misfortune. my son really glad to regain his nexus, he hummed upstairs when I waiting him in Sunday visit after the sad news. last week I under heavy government sponsored hacking, detained my downloading windows 10 creator edition iso. I also tried to rebuild router OS after disastrous intrusion. I failed times and times to make configurations backup. later I gave up backup now that if I left most of router profile default then will be less shortage of ram and lagging response. we also elated with new auto-connecting script and localized vpn server script, a byproduct huge finding during googling our problems. it fix our pains on ass of vpn connection which frequented by PRC surveillance and problematic and time-consuming. its really a great achievement saves. as though most of the weeks busy and fruitful, PRC surveillance turns freakier now. my facing dorm moved in some young beasts, one with stylish pig tail on his head, staying all day indoor gabbled. most nights when I went to toilet and back, their door left opener and room light turned down, like a sinister black eye hole peeking, just remind me their capable of surveillance, poisoning, and stealth. that sometimes made me unease, but I know who is more unbalanced and revengeful. I put my fate in holy bliss. let thieves trying rob me in day time and in shadows. CCP and PRC literally makes everyone poorer day by day, minute by minute. its a burning fire heap that destroys any surplus in Chinese society. God, bring me sooner my Royal China. bring me my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for better management of my life, of my Empire of China from my heroic ancestor. bring us surprise in this month salary day.

May 28, 2017

dreamt in a journey and next day we will return. I designed a multimedia and have to change some text in it. I tried many ways then found have to install then hack text string, one for title, one for calculation result. then in a class there are some guests. a black child played with my son and slammed my son's face. I angry with my son and urged him to slam back. then the black dad join the war and forced me to pay more attention and compensation. that's likely concerns about my son's English tutor his sinful mom arranged under a black man's lecture in her college, Qiqihar Univ, where she still felt romantic or fantasy. yesterday google alphago, AI powered chess rebot, beat all human Chinese go players. back to bed, dream continue about the lost. I saw some collegians lived around, like QRRS dorm stuffed by young blue-collar workers. I tried asking if they saw my suitcase. no one listened in their games. one of them likely my once QRRS colleague in tech department, Chen Ziming, who left QRRS for better career prospective decade ago, later told me alone that I too risky to put my baggage outside of door and packed valued items inside. I should pay for my careless. its a long morning and my late dream echos turbulent wind outside of window. last night my stomach painful midnight and I had to get up to shit twice to relieve the uncomfort. the dorm canteen's operator, the husband of the woman, turned hostile to me. the marching team in dusk around QRRS square also hated me, just like I didn't appreciate their noisy boombox and coarse taste of music, too. young workers esp close neighbored in the dorm long time grudged with me, trying all means to upset me, to hurt me. the dangers in mop sometimes put me in chill. but I have nothing but mission. coming lunar dragon boat holiday let me so lonely, like the Chinese girl Yang shuping lectured in her graduation ceremony in US aroused so many blind hates in sinking PRC young dogs, exactly her plain true thankful emotion toward American years educated her. dog PRC hated anything out of its humility. they turning China more and more mirror of bankrupted MidEast, purest poverty, now that they never care anything in the world out of their mouths, or their teeths' tearing and grinding, world of mere prey. God, dad, bring me sooner my vested Empire from my grand ancestor, for harmony Chinese family and life. bring me soone my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for sanity of nowadays Chinese society. bring me more offspring for future 1109 years my new Empire of China reset for span timespace. grant us a merry holiday, esp woz's last children holiday coming less than a week.

May 22, 2017

dreamt at my hometown with my old family who all catering a new baby whose centered likely my son. lots of relatives jammed in the bedroom once my old parents prepared for their first next generation's wedding, my 2nd brother's. I held the infant and sending him sleep but in a blink I only holding blanket while the baby missing. then on the edge of bed and edge of the entrance of the room, on uneven stone or plastic teeth of a plate the infant sleeping. his head left on bare rugged without clothes cushion but thank God its OK. we carefully shift him to new infant bed. my 2nd elder brother's wife, their first son, my 3rd elder sister esp helpful in caring relatives crowd. the infant under so many attentions that I felt he must be my newly born son. in second view during a break I thought he might be my brother's 2nd son's first son. the nephew married a neighbor village girl then soon divorced. he now rumored dislikes woman and kept single, that's his mother claimed about her own son in front of me in our latest hometown tour. I think he more likes his grandpa than his elder brother, who had 3 children now, and merits belongs to be our family members but not a clue in his mom who bold and shameless feminism, like generous, honest, integrity, kind, etc. I told him my appreciation in once QQ chat session decade ago when he still a boy. today is Monday morning. I again in chill felt boring and napped. yesterday I bought my son small fishes and shrimps from an elder amateur vendor who is lonely and hopeless aside the road where I went alone to buy fruits. I intended to do him a favor but he refused aid. so I bought his all he charged ￥15, a small heap small fishes and a small heap of shrimps. I left him a peach and 2 CNY extra and fled to evade the elder's defying. I told my son how small fishes with small hot pepper can be delicious for in my teenage my 2nd elder brother quite sometimes bring home the food material after his school, ie. he caught fishes in pond or rice fields after school hours. it left me life long appetite. I really hope my son find the delicacy but so far I unable to contact him on the phone about the dish the grandma loathed to prepare with before I left in Sunday dusk. I also bought my son extra fruits, including litchi and mango, peach, for my son loathed to let me buy fruits after showered in public bathroom. I feed him with litchi and mango before left him alone in his android games. we really enjoyed the fruits. on Wednesday I will fetch his birthday cake ordered online, and celebrate his 13 birthday together ( woz 12 birthday reported here). God dad, I recently felt more solider to accept de facto that my offspring limits to one son. I trust Holy arrangement and humble of my son's mother family, her insanity. God dad, grant me more children in my prime time. bring me sooner my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. link our nations, our blood bond on new land that shared among us. bring more laugh and companions in my life in family forever hospitable and bright.
BTW, these days media reveals misery of pangolins which extincting after sinful PRC Chinese insane appetite, God, dad, pl save the adorable animal, which is key to remain rampant ants lair everywhere those years under control. let's bee and pangolin forever happily enjoy the planet as we do. God dad, pl!

May 21, 2017

dreamt with ample details after migrated into US. an elder Chinese woman with her spouse contacted me for rent her house or living matters in America. yesterday I happily dispatched salary and sliced it into feeding small bills due monthly, ie. laundry, groupon for salon, spa, dining out. woz's birthday celebration also booked. local debtee received partial return. God dad, grant me next month reserves for my hosting plan renewal on godaddy. this week also somewhat busy. I napped on Monday morning after found jobless and exhausted after joys of reunited son the day before. Tuesday morning I restored, found I can add feedback form onto my google sites. then I launched to learn google form, component of Gsuite, to enrich my website's interactivity. my long time afraid of form and script in microsoft office suite cured by google form's easy to use. in an hour I built up my survey for my google sites and published, inc checkbox, multi-choice, rate, scale, dropdown, pictures etc lots of elements of interactive. google form's response analysis amazingly rich, in pie chart, bar chart, and lots of charts that's easy understanding while informative first impression. Friday I rebuilt my portable os on a retired ssd, after failed to fix ubuntu's lingering error. this time I made the bootable images more cleaner and handier. in woz's monthly visit my dorm, I demonstrated him my websites' new element, survey. and we enjoyed snack routinely, and hot water washing feet powered by dorm's heater just recovered from broke down. dorm canteen loaned me ￥100, but God knows how we satisfied in our companion and companion of hard times. God dad, my living so far designated to deal with a salary ￥3000/month, how real during hopes and joys in dealing with the only source of income. God dad, how I endear my life within this tiny time space here and now on the planet and before climate disaster, while we stride into big chances never seen holy grants. bring me sooner my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, and my vested Empire of China, and our future new land of north and water peculiar cold sweet. grant my cyberspace startup booming in business and influential of public mind. thx for my new summer pants with mobile pockets my nephew offered free weeks ago in my hard time.

woz taller now 12 years.

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Fri, 26 May 2017 07:14:00 +0000

May 25th no doubt a sunny day, in the cloudy week. but since the morning I felt gloomy. I looking for it to reunite my son so much that sores. before heading to fetch birthday cake I trying complete remnant work concerning my future 2nd child, billing zhu's facebook account, which disabled by facebook cluelessly, the freaky dominant social network more and more likes a giant monster. I then claimed another fb account under id billingzh , and added it to admin of facebook page, billinzh. that morning before my work starts, the internet is dead. buzzed the dorm director who confirmed that fiber optic cable damaged by ongoing refurnish in 3rd dorm of QRRS dorm. waiting awhile I yet can't access vpn so I open my compute stick which has builtin vpn under windows. then I found the mini computer frequently automatically shutdown. later probe found likely usb power insufficiency is the cause. in first frustration I tried to reinstall windows 10 now that a month passed yet it can't get its creator edition upgrade, lest intrusion of malware. then found my downloaded iso image months ago broken, failed to install. likely sinking PRC surveillance intervened my download. for time limit I left rebuilding open and took bus to fetch woz's birthday cake booked online in the early week. I obviously felt failed on bus even didn't figure out why. in the cake store I mandated to show groupon code but my vpn on android phone failed to open shared sms logbook on gdocs and last ten minutes before settled. I tried to tease a young girl in the shop, claiming last 2 years when I fetched cake there was only a female, now 2 boys and 2 girls there so it must be prosperous. the girl don't understand but politely responded. on bus to woz's house, I more or less in peace. out of his elemental school the grandma also there fetching him, but soon left. my son in shabby white shirt and told me he just in performance within 20 kids performed e-piano for celebrating some event. and the weekends also shifted to next day, ie Monday will be Sunday agenda and so on. I just can't in ritual mood. arrived his mom's house, I arranged woz to setup birthday cake and shot for publishment. woz also less elated like last year's birthday with cake. when I asked him his plan for future, he again claimed want to travel, aside higher school exam score. that both failed me. exam score less important to me, an entrepreneur prospect of future my son, either, and travel with his sinful mom just too risky and reckless. and he previously claimed he want less travels after last 2017 lunar spring festival hometown tour. he must lured by his desperate mom who sought escape all times. he didn't eat much birthday cake I bought, which likely bigger and dearer than last year's. I also felt no mood to taste the delicacy, and soon left there. on way to return my dorm, I first thought It was just a case to refrain myself from indulging dwelling with my son weekends. I can suffer and that's all. woz can enjoy light heart everywhere and anytime. in dorm I published event photos and videos and more turned peaceful. then I gradually saw sins and risks in my son's spiteful mom's death journey. my son shouldn't take the bait to sink, by the weight of his mom's dirty tuitions she gathered in shameless home hours from preying PRC cheap parents. I sms my son lately around 10pm and told him my thoughts upon the undue consumer commodity harmful for a kid, for its his dying mom's entertainment, meaningless and drainful. in the next morning I napped all the morning, gathering courage to cope my loneliness and self-supportive. I decide to live up with my sites, zhone portal, for holy commitment and longest prelude of my 1109 years life of China Empire inherited from my ancestor, from my dad, God in Heaven now, for my son and my offspring still at large in their idle times ample and anxious free. God dad, I pray for strength and luminance inside for glow and growth. I pray holy mercy for the aging and solitary in molding my kingdom and generations. Dad God, I saw so many meanings in comparing Mideast and Eastern Asia, and life's withering and blossoming and their mountain difference. let me put it under lightment. let my mission more prominent, Dad God.

for delayed warmth of summer 2017

noreply@blogger.com (benzrad华中朱子卓) — Fri, 12 May 2017 04:55:00 +0000

May 12, 2017

firstly dreamt likely in airport lounge, I with my son in queue for aboard. then it broke for awhile to let cargo unload. its likely railway cargo, emergent quilts and pillows for distressed people in problematic situation. once the queue restored, the conductor persuaded us buying sapling on the way, instead of brought it from hometown to destiny, for former mostly more resilient. after peed and returned to bed, I dreamt with my old family, relatives. we criticized each other, we enjoyed chatters, we are family. esp my mean nephew, ie. only son of my passed eldest sister who committed suicide in her mid age decades ago, who is so mean that defied my small loan request several times. we disappointed by counterpart but still we expecting. this week was a bit leisure. I picked up my zohosites and sorted them into precious assets. quite some web services allow early birds privilege more gracious than its current mature clients which generate stable product income. google apps and zoho sites are such cases. previously zohosites free charge of custom domain mapping for its sites users, but now it charges. in recent years I saw zohosites potential and powerful on web building, and more and more willing making better usage of it. so this week I enable all free functions zohosites offers for free old users, like blogs, spam control, custom form, collaborators, etc. I was so contented by the gains! in final step, I collect and sort them into my local bookmarks and web linkbook. this week also specially hard for my financially coping with coming events, weekend gathering my son, woz into dining out and monthly cinema, his coming birthday celebration, his lottery experience I promised to support on the event, and my longing for a new ring mouse to replace my old Microsoft arc touch. in God's bliss, QRRS dispatched one child policy reward, ¥60, yesterday. then I gathered courage from it to contact my niece in Wuhan, central China, for aid. she generously offered ¥400, doubles my entrust. with it I immediately ordered the innovative mouse on taobao.com. but sinking PRC surveillance again exploited and delayed near 2 days in logistics: so far since last morning my order status still remains paid rather than dispatched, or relay of expresses, which quite abnormal nowadays bragging next day delivery but usual in my case in recent years shopping online. they surveillanced my vpn in accurate in seconds: most cases under surveillances my critical submission online result in immediate time out or offline. my conversation with my son, each time broke amid, esp when I urging him adopting securer connection. however, my sweet companion of google music, these days last hours daily and that eases a lot pressure. coming weekend brings many hope of joys when I gather woz, dearest son. God, dad, I'm so contented with my life here so far, that almost leaves me more silence of harmony. bring me sooner my Royal China to be more productive. bring me Asoh Yukiko for brighter future family, and our offspring that drives the eastern Asia coming centuries. thx for sunshine outside, dad God, I know summer is soon under your shine.

May 6, 2017

first dreamt in a party where cult or mythical power shown by a mojo, likely in San Francisco or western coast of US. dark magic of superpower, manipulation of mind and fate. then in my routine space when I shitting I was surveillanced. I got up for pee. then dreamt among my senior school alumni, we saw magic robot through which one's life and properties can be exported and imported. there are several robots all can export and when you delete some information it can be restored by other robot peer. most dream details lost after sleepily got up. it's a drizzling morning after 2 or 3 days windy weather, or sandstorms, which tinted sky into brown. rains seemingly due ample but this summer scarce so far. however most plants turning green. last night I refined zhone sites on zohosites, but PRC surveillance heavily blocked me. I finished near 12am and satisfied. I also blessed in success gaining loan from dorm canteen, ¥300, for new public bathroom groupon and other small bills. yesterday bankcommm buzzed in, blamed me not return credit debt as ¥2000 as planned rather ¥1500 I paid in 2 series months. I explained my life should put first, esp my with kid while my salary under expectation. she threatened to sue me. I just can't see how ¥500 means so much for a bank, and how severe I broke my promise with ¥500 less. this noon I will visit my son, which I almost can't wait, for the relief loan, for new restaurant we found last labor day holiday, railway hotel which likely a SOE with proper standard at least we saw rich ready meals in addition luxury leisure space. and for my works review in a week. but financial situation still stern: next weekend movies, 4 gathering meals in weekends before next salary day 2 weeks out, woz's birthday celebration, etc. my sites hosting plan needs renew, ¥60/month. dad God, my life so fit that I envy nobody. let me walk through difficulties like on meadow. prepare us for greater descending, and forever uprising. dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China to overcome surreal. bring me my family clean and tidy with Asoh Yukiko, for our children coming heavenly. thx for the moisture last night and now, God, for the baptism in rough of rotten atmosphere ever seen.

May 4, 2017

first dreamt my passed mother brought me, a kid, to a training center. its a bit unreal, for my childhood never had out class tutorials in rural central China. but my son, woz, he was arranged quite some by his teacher mom. in the center an elder woman teacher whose student includes Dilraba, the hot Uygur actress in PRC now, exchanged words with my mom while I was impressed by the famous girl student. then on a train, Dilraba just aboard and seated feet apart me. she is alone and a bit unease in my gaze. I watched her and her natural beauty likes neighbor door girl, clean and untouched. when a foreigner or small English talk out heard in the carriage, she complained in murmur her English not good enough to catch up it, with which I echoed in common sense. in the dream I likely feeling collegian youth. its a brown morning. the overnight sandstorm left the air dirty and tinted. but in air dusts didn't felt. my breakfast in dorm canteen still satisfying, even in 2 series days the menu less choices on it. this early summer quite chill in Qiqihar, northeastern China. I usually have to put on winter coat against coldness in dorm. last morning I napped after breakfast in boring chill and idle. amazon video, esp old time real people movies inspired me a lot with righteous moral, standard of life and loyalty. recently quite some movies on elders' life caught me in my mindless picks. I was so enchanted that I pray God to keep me the secret of the hidden treasure of meanings and gospel. my life enriched by review of my campus loves movies aroused. I saw timeless love and purity of sanity stems out independently we were young. I saw flourishing lives in my life then and now fautless brilliant. God, dad, my son, woz, Hope of China, his birthday near in May, I promised him each birthday offer him ¥150 for lottery experience. and cake for celebration. we also have cinema agenda next weekend. and our spa groupon should renewed. dad, God, free me off trap of financial problem. with my dear sister's son's aid, I got webcam as longing after a month, I greatly refreshed by its inauguration in my workspace last 2 weeks. now I want to replace my frequently ill working microsoft Arc touch bluetooth mouse with a new innovative gear, ring mouse. aid me ¥100 for it. dad God, liberate me in this month's salary. bring me sooner my Royal China, esp my Crowned Queen, Asoh Yukiko, from Japan, to cater to our family and living. bring my children in time in our hatch before lapse of my prime time. thx for the life we enjoy so far and so frontmost.

May 1, 2017

dreamt in a dorm, Nankai campus or my QRRS dorm, I busy with my desktop. likely previously I played with water and sands through my under pants and gathered on my bottom. So I took off underpants and half naked. but Zhang Chongfu, my Nankai deputy monitor, brought a girl visitor and she waiting outside of the door. I at the moment can't find my underpants and later someone thrown me it or I found it somewhere. with almost put right I woke up. this PRC international labor day holiday almost again a disaster for me: I hardly support any treat entitles it. I ate a meal a day and still worring next 3 weekends' gathering dinning out with my son, woz, Hope of China. however passed weeks proves fruitful in heavy workload. I second time install Google Apps on woz new zte android without a single error after many failures missing in wrong files and their directories, as a false response to previous google play store pending download but forever zero traffic as penalty to region like PRC where google denied. I also deleted problemed payment account lest locked out again for PRC's shame. I also found google doesn't delete its gsuite account after our purchase for zho.io 2 email accounts phrased out due to unpaid on time. encouraged by the cheat, I applied 3 new gsuites for our new 3 domains, each claimed several GA accounts under trial period and hoping these accounts' chrome sync, contacts, custom search engines and other user data/settings maintained out of free trial period. we fatally love google's web sync service. last Friday I also found time to rip spam bots, minor errors on my dynamic sites, esp forum at bbs.zhuson.com and cms at agarten.in. after near a year running the web apps roughly familiared, I more or less more experienced with their structure, system, just like I perceived and executed, like other insights in my life so far holy grants. long time pains in ass, disorder among articles on dabbog.com, also totally relinked structurally. my son now seemingly likes to bring new smartphone with him, after many times I cursed him for unreachable online. when I can't access him I wondered why it is so painful. I saw most important thing I needed to share with him is my achievement in life stream. I need treat, celebration for holy witness and double joys devil eyes stolen most. but I prepared to live alone my stuff in my darker and longer journey ahead, in my aging world of coldness, hatred thick dusty land I stood decades. I don't afraid death nor rotten time, I only care holy bliss, and my mission here in northeastern China for future millennium, for Japan, US and my vested land of China Empire from my glorious ancestor. God, dad, its lunch time now, grant us an adequate lunch for the leisure time. bring me sooner my Royal China to outpace the curious eyes upon my legend. bring me sooner my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my children's cosy family space.