A new blog, written by five totally awesome people and one rad weirdo named Bernard, will be going live on Monday, December 5 at www.exfake.com!

Adam Thomas, Michael Melenka, Steven Russell, BJ Hewitt, Junior Casares, and I are blogging about the whole “pursuit of authenticity” thing relative to Christianity – along with whatever else strikes our fancy.

There’s a contest for some free iTunes launching on the first day, too.

To keep up with news about the site, you can follow our Twitter feed, like us on Facebook, circle us on Google+, or just keep clicking on the Refresh button on your browser once you go to the site itself.

Don’t miss it.  These guys are the greatest, and I’m next in line for that title.  I hear it means you get an “L” tattooed on your forehead, but I might be missing the point…

I’ve concluded that blogs need to have a purpose of some sort in order to be effective, and this one doesn’t have a purpose at all.

Not even to me, really.  It’s just a place to say a little something and check some stats every now and then.

I’m toying with starting another blog – one with some purpose, but I’m not settled on exactly which purpose to shoot for.

Thank you all so much for being my friends.  I’ll still be around, don’t worry.

Peace out!

Her body couldn’t function in “the world”.  I don’t know the details of her disease, but she simply couldn’t tolerate normal air.  Her environment was incredibly controlled, and her best friend has been a little dog with hair instead of fur.

Her name is Sara.  But everybody calls her Gitz, for Gitzengirl, which has some connection to the disease that I can’t exactly remember.

She has touched thousands, if not more. She refused to be sad, even in a very, very tough situation. She was determined to Choose Joy, and named her blog exactly that.

Her body, they say, is shutting down.  Her race appears to be run.  She’s going home, to meet face to face the Saviour that she has trusted so faithfully through an incredible journey.

I pray that I can find the grace to Choose Joy.  Life’s not about comparison, but I have so much to find joy in.  Yet, I so often look to the wrong places for joy and for strength.

Thanks, Gitz, for the inspiration.  Godspeed as you journey on.  When you get there, hug everybody you see.  One of them might be somebody I know.

And leave a note with St. Peter about where you’ll be, because sometime in the course of eternity, I’m gonna have to look you up.

Follow from Elevation Church on Vimeo.

Can anyone in my native county say the words “I wish there were more Hispanics here, because I LOVE those people”?

A big one here is “Go back to Floriday, Yankee!”

Not many Western North Carolinians love “Florida people” at all.

I would have to search really, really, really hard to find a Christian here who would say “I LOVE gay people!”

And, trust me, you SURE won’t hear much about “I LOVE Democrats!”

That, my friends, goes a long ways toward telling us why not many people want to become Christians these days.

We’ve got some crap we need to fix.

Yet it’s rather strange that life keeps re-inventing me.

I’m less settled as to those kind of things than I’ve ever been.  So, where’s the truth that is attached to thoughts about “older and wiser”?  I know more, but I question more.  I wonder more.  I feel less confident.  I experience less “feeling”, in general.

Tamara mentioned to me yesterday, in response to my comment on her blog, that she was glad I was “living out the struggle in the open” rather than hiding and being anonymous. That brings me to a curious question…

Exactly what struggle AM I living out?

I can’t even find words to describe to myself what is really at my core right now.

I’m pretty doggone happy, in general.  I have a lot of fun.  I laugh a lot. (More than I was laughing a couple years or so ago..) I smile easily. I don’t find myself staring at the ground and feeling “woe is me” very often at all.  I play with the kids and enjoy it.  I spend time with my wife and love it.  I go to church and don’t hate it.  I am learning to play drums and love it.  I read the Bible and feel stronger and encouraged by it.  I blog sometimes and feel like I’ve written something worth writing.

Yes, I’ve got some things I battle.  Sometimes I battle them energetically, but usually I let myself slide.  I work to not be legalistic in how I deal with my battles, and to fight sin because I love Jesus, but I often battle with that very question.

What on earth does it mean to love Jesus?  To “follow” a guy that “lived” about 2000 years ago in a country I’ve never seen?  To “know” a voice I’ve never actually “heard”? I’ve sung “Oh, How I Love Jesus” gaggles of times (that’s “a lot” for non-Southerners…) but does that just mean that it makes me all tingly to know that I’m going to Heaven instead of Hell, or is there something about this “relationship” thing that goes beyond reading about him in a big black book and thinking “man, I bet he was cool!”

So, what on earth am I battling?

I think I’m battling spiritual confusion and the fact that most “Christian” answers simply aren’t satisfying.  I’m battling the discouraging fact that there are thousands upon thousands of different “belief” systems out there – even within Christianity – and each one claims to be “right” to the exclusion of most or all others.  I’m battling the fact that, spiritually, I don’t fit in anywhere.  Period.  EVERYBODY can criticize me at some level, and often I feel that the subconscious criticisms are strong.  As well, I don’t open up to many people at all.  Most Christians don’t want – or need – to be exposed to the crappy questions that bounce around in my head, and I’m not comfortable pushing those kind of things out there to lead other people to the same “insecure” prison that I sometimes feel stuck in.

I’m not cool with just “knowing Jesus as my Saviour.”  Or even with the catchall fix of “letting Jesus be Lord of my life”.  Those are Christian cliches that I don’t really see a lot about in Scripture.

Jesus said “come unto me”.  He said “come follow me”.  He said “love the Lord your God with all your heart, and your neighbor as yourself” were the greatest commandments.

The great ocean of “what the heck does that mean” slams me against the rocks of reality when I hear people say “I love God!” and “I love EVERYBODY!!!!”  If “love is a verb” applies to how we love people, what exactly does it mean when we look at God? How do we “love” Jesus?  By telling people that we love him? Really?  So, I can love my wife by telling somebody else that I love her?  So I can love my wife by reading letters she wrote me 15 years ago? Maybe, but is that really it?

Seems like there’s a good deal missing.

This post isn’t really going to come to some kind of conclusion.  There’s no educational value here.  I don’t have an answer to share.  I don’t expect anyone to solve me.

But I do wonder if other Christians are in a similar mess, or if I’m really a drastic anomaly…

NOTE – Now, I’m wondering WHAT ON EARTH this post is really even about!

At home, though, when I actually can do those things, my brain is absolutely devoid of conscious thought.

Drat.