Pastor Mom

The Bernheisel List, 2024

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 21:12:00 +0000

Once again, I'm putting gift ideas for all the Bernheisels here. If you are on this list and you don't like what I've listed as a gift let me know.

If you are not a Bernheisel but would like gifts from the Bernheisels, please feel to list any gifts ideas in the Comments section, or email me directly!

JAY AND MARY BETH

JAY

(Medium Clothes, 9 shoes, 15.5/33 shirt, 32/30 pants)

Jay likes clothes, and he has bought several gifts that I will wrap and give to you to give to him. There are a couple of things on his list:

This collage . The artist recommends this frame for the print.
These tasty snacks, or something along those lines.

JOSHUA

(Medium Clothes, 9.5 Shoes, 14.5/34 shirt, 32/33 pants)

Snack Subscription Box--Universal Yums and Bokksu are highly recommend. You also can't go wrong with Beef Jerky
Comfy clothes of all kinds
Jordan 1 High Court Purple and White, size 9.5
Baggy Jeans (pic for reference)

Blue Vans, size 9.5

Dress pants
Dress belt
Factorio (Jay can provide details)
White dress shirt (s)
Sweaters

CLARE

(Medium Clothes, Land's End and Old Navy are generally a good bet)

Knick knacks and gadgets that you find fun--things that are cool, things that make life easier, things that are pretty, things that are cozy!
Sweaters and sweatshirts (basic in style and color--no turtlenecks)
Sweatpants and joggers in dark colors
Jigsaw Puzzles. This website is a good starting point, but any 1000 piece puzzles will do,
Books, books, books
Anything you think might make life easier or more fun in college!

Mary Beth

(Large, Tall, 12, 10 shoes)

Oura Ring Generation 4, Silver, Size 8
vivomove sport, ivory with peach gold accents, blush pink nylon band
Cozy Earth Pajamas (shorts/short sleeve)
Gift Cards from Anthrolopologie, Athleta, Gold Belly

The Bernheisel List, 2023

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Thu, 07 Dec 2023 16:44:00 +0000

I didn't even know this thing worked!

I'm putting gift ideas for all the Bernheisels here. If you are on this list and you don't like what I've listed as gift let me know.

If you are not a Bernheisel but would like gifts from the Bernheisels, please feel to list any gifts ideas in the Comments section, or email me directly!

JAY AND MARY BETH

Gift Cards from Cozy Earth (it's time for a bedding refresh)

JAY

(Medium Clothes, 9 shoes, 15.5/33 shirt, 32/30 pants)

Cozy Earth Bamboo Lounging Clothes
~~Bespoke Post subscription (let me know if you need help figuring out what his likes/dislikes are)~~
~~Tea of the Month subscription~~
~~This eyeglass repair kit from Amazon~~
~~This tea or this tea~~
~~Sexy Sardines (I don't make the lists. I just share 'em)~~

JOSHUA

(Medium Clothes, 9.5 Shoes, 14.5/34 shirt, 32/33 pants)

~~Baggy pants like this:~~

Graphic Mouse Pad (Yes, this big)

TikTok Room Lights
~~Furry-hood jacket Canada Goose knock off~~

~~Fashionable scarf to go with Canada Goose knock off~~
Black sheisty
~~Silver Chain like this:~~

Gym Shorts
Graphic Rug
~~Graphic Wall Flag~~
Snack Subscription Box--Universal Yums and Bokksu are highly recommend. You also can't go wrong with Beef Jerky
Chapstick
Warm hats
Warm gloves
Wool socks
~~Pickleball Set. Or just go with pickleball paddles and a case.~~
Cozy Earth Bamboo Lounging Clothes
A warm Columbia hoodie
Comfy clothes of all kinds

CLARE

(Medium Clothes, Land's End is generally a good bet)

This is Clare's book list on Amazon.
Knick knacks and gadgets that you find fun--things that are cool, things that make life easier, things that are pretty, things that are cozy!
Sweaters and sweatshirts (basic in style and color--no turtlenecks
Sweatpants and joggers in dark colors

Mary Beth

(Large, Tall, 12, 10 shoes)

Yoga mat (longer/wider, as I am both)
~~2-lb weights~~
Insulated Lunch Tote
~~3-lb weights~~
Bearaby Cotton Napper (15/20 pounds)
Cozy Earth Pajamas (shorts/short sleeve)
Two Forty-Two South Chunky Gold Earrings from Grace Davis and Company
Portable Cord and Charger Organizer
Gifts Cards from Anthrolopologie, Athleta, Gold Belly
Footwarmer

Mepkin Abbey, Thursday

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Tue, 03 Feb 2015 19:35:00 +0000

I'll admit to being a little bit sad that this was our last time to pray the Vigils with the brothers. There's something sacred about praying for the world while everyone in it is sleeping (or at least those in our time zone). As far as a sustainable lifestyle, however, I don't think I'm meant for it.

There is a brother at the abbey who on sabbatical as he writes a book. His name is Fr. Isaac. I asked Fr. Guerric about him one day and Fr. Guerric's response was, "Oh, Fr. Isaac is a Benedictine," as though Fr. Isaac's being a Benedictine would explain his behavior. He is mischievous and funny, and always talks to us even though he isn't supposed to. I think he likes the idea that he's getting away with breaking the rules. I sit on his side of the chapel, and he registers a look of impression and pride when the other women on our side turn to the right prayer at the right time. We have gotten used to him being a bit of a jokester. Last night, however, as we were leaving Compline to go to bed, he bid us farewell with the blessing of Compline:

"May you have a restful night and a peaceful death."

I was a little shocked at first, even though we had just prayed to God, "Grant us a restful night and a peaceful death." It's one thing to pray it. It's another thing to hear that blessing from someone else.

"You, um, too?" I responded.

Later I thought about what a lovely blessing that is. It does not deny the reality of death, but wishes for us that our inevitable death with be surrounded by and filled with the peace of Christ.

And to cement that blessing, we remember our baptisms as we leave the church and go to sleep. We remember that it is Christ's death and resurrection that give us the hope of rest and peace, both in life and in death.

I don't think I'll go around saying that to everyone I meet, but I will certainly carry that blessing with me as I go.

Mepkin Abbey, Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Tue, 03 Feb 2015 02:43:00 +0000

I started getting congested the weekend before the retreat, and by the time I got to the abbey I had a full-blown sinus infection. The only thing worse than getting up at 3:00am is getting up at 3:00am with a head full of congestion and forgetting to take your sinus medication before Vigils begins. I tried to concentrate on the service, but all I could think about was a hot shower and the tub of Thistle Farms Body Butter I had in my room. My skin was unreasonably dry from the cold and wind
.

By the time I got back to my room, took a shower, and slathered myself with lotion I was wide awake. Plus, I decided that all of my naps the day before had not worked to my advantage and that I should try staying awake after Vigils. So I worked on my sermon. Fortunately, the coffee in the Common Room at the Retreat Center is ready by 4:30 each morning. When I got groggy working on my sermon I headed to the Common Room for some coffee and light reading. I started with Martin Laird's Into the Silent Land. I only got a few pages in, but I will definitely finish it.

The rest of the day was much like Tuesday. Instead of three sits, however, we only practiced one. And in the afternoon we walked the labyrinth before Fr. Guerric took us on a tour to tell us more about the Cistercians and the history of Mepkin Abbey.

I did a better job of staying awake during today's sit, although I still managed to doze off. And the second half of the sit, after the walking meditation, was only 10 minutes, so I appreciated that. The labyrinth was a great experience. Fr. Guerric suggested that on the way in to the center of the labyrinth we simply practice "letting go." I started walking thinking that I really didn't have much to let go of, but as I walked I started to realize how long I was. In fact, I got nervous that I would get to the center before I was finished letting go of everything!

There were some low spots in the labyrinth that were swampy from Monday's rain, but I even tromped through those instead of cutting through in order to give myself enough "letting go" time.

During some of the free time I took my camera and explored the grounds with my friend Abbey. Abbey was a stray dog who wandered onto the grounds one day and never left. She's not a snuggly dog, but she'll let you scratch behind her ears, and she's always up for exercise. She accompanied one woman from our group on her runs, and she went with me on my walk as well.

After Vespers we met with Fr. Guerric again to talk about how we will practice contemplative prayer when we return to our contexts. For some of us the barrier to the practice is time. For some of us it is space. And for others it was accountability. I realized that my barrier is distraction. I already practice contemplative prayer each day, but I practice in my office. There are distractions in the office, but I had grown to use those distractions as excuses to cut my practice short or to let my mind wander indefinitely. The decision that I made was to move my practice to the sanctuary where I wouldn't be distracted and wouldn't have excuses to stop what I was doing. I hope that during Lent I might invite others to join me in the sanctuary for the practice as well.

Mepkin Abbey, Tuesday

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 03:54:00 +0000

3:00am. 2:00am Central Time. The brothers get up at 3:00am because that is their job. It is their job to pray for the world while everyone else is sleeping. It is their job to join with Christ in keeping watch over the world. But all I could think of was getting back into my warm bed for another few hours.

After 3:20am Vigils the brothers engage in 30 minutes of contemplative prayer on their own, followed by a time of Lectio Divina. By that time breakfast is available, so some of them eat and bathe prior to Lauds at 6:30am. Lauds, not Vigils, is the first prayer of the morning. Vigils is the nighttime prayer. Lauds welcomes the day.

As much as my soul was willing to stay up for meditation and Lectio Divina, I just wanted to go back to bed. And so I did, setting my alarm for 6:15 so I could throw my clothes back on and go to Lauds. Then breakfast. More peanut butter, toast, and marmalade. No cheese this time, but there were hard-boiled eggs. And coffee. Lots of coffee. Following breakfast we celebrated Eucharist. I was expecting the Liturgy to be more like the United Methodist liturgy than it was. I followed along fairly well, except for the responses in Latin. When that was over we celebrated Terce, and then joined Fr. Guerric in the library for a video by Fr. Martin Laird on contemplative practice.

The Cistercians are a contemplative order, which means that their primary focus is on the inward life. Fr. Guerric hoped that our time at the abbey would help us to pay better attention to our own interior lives, and that we could spend much of our time in quiet contemplation. It sounded so much easier than it was. After the video Fr. Guerric took us to the chapel to begin our first “sit.” I made it through the first half of the twenty minute sit before I caught myself falling asleep. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have gone back to bed after Vigils. The catnaps only made me more tired.

The walking meditation was a welcome break, but once again I fell asleep during our second twenty-minute sit.

After a break, our next activity was noon prayer (Sext), followed by lunch. The Cistercians tend to be vegetarian, so we had curried vegetables, some steamed mixed vegetables, salad, and fruit. During the noon meal one of the brothers reads aloud from a book. We assumed that the book would be something overtly religious in nature, but after a few minutes someone in our group realized that they were reading from The Boys in the Boat. It was a pleasant experience to be read to--to sit back and drink a cup of coffee and just be present.

Our afternoon consisted of two more one-hour sits and (for me) many more naps. By the time supper rolled around I was just about numb. But I made it through Vespers and Compline before finally collapsing into bed at 8:00pm.

Mepkin Abbey, Monday (Part 2)

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Sat, 31 Jan 2015 22:25:00 +0000

Reflections on Grand Silence.

I experienced two particular feelings as we left the church after Compline to begin the Grand Silence, neither of which I expected. The first was a teeny tiny bit of panic. It only lasted for a second, but it was definitely present. What if I needed something and couldn’t ask for it? What if I had something I desperately needed to say to someone? Of course, had there been an emergency, or if I was in real need I could have said something. But how often are we ever just cut off from speaking to others? How often are we given a cutoff after which we no longer speak? So though the panic lasted for a second, I was still very aware of it.

The second feeling was a feeling of humility. In those first moments of silence I became aware that though there were many things I might want to say—even worthwhile things—those things were insignificant in the presence of God. There was nothing I could say that was worthy of God. I experienced my own smallness, the smallness of my thoughts, and the smallness of the words that I was forbidden to speak in the presence of God. It reminded me of what I so often forget: that profound silence is often the only appropriate response to the vastness of God. We are so used to noise. We are so used to trying to assign words to every thought we have. And the world of social media has tricked us into believing that every thought we have is worth sharing out loud. But those words and thoughts—in the presence of God—are petty and small. This is why we need silence.

Mepkin Abbey, Monday

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Sat, 31 Jan 2015 05:03:00 +0000

I showed up not knowing what to expect. Jaylynn, the woman who coordinated the retreat had sent us a schedule, and the only thing I noted was that the brothers prayed at 3:20am and we were invited to join them. I suppose I also noted that there would be ample time later in the day to take a nap. I had also looked on the website at pictures of the accommodations for retreatants and was pleased with what I saw. So I was empty of the dread that comes from not knowing the condition of the place where I would stay.

As we began to arrive in the afternoon, we met with Fr. Guerric, who gave us a brief orientation and suggested that we meet again after Vespers at 6:30 to talk about how we would structure our day on Tuesday. I hoped that the structure would include naps.

Supper was at 5:00. There is a guest refectory next to the monastic refectory. We were not allowed to eat with the monks in their dining room, but we still kept silence during our meals. The noon meal is the big meal of the day, so supper was simple. The monks laid out bread, peanut butter, jelly, cheese, some relishes, and a bowl of apricots. Cereal and milk were available as well. We helped ourselves to whatever dishes and utensils we needed from the cupboard and tucked in.

Fr. Guerric told us that Trappists eat quickly, which is ironic since everything else they do is so contemplative. I suppose that one could eat both contemplatively and quickly, but he said that they like to finish quickly so that they can get back to work.

I enjoyed my supper. It was simple and nourishing. I helped myself to things I normally wouldn’t eat at home: cereal and a thick apricot marmalade that was just this side of heaven. Not together, of course. Marmalade with peanut butter on a thick piece of brown bread.

At 6:00 we celebrated Vespers, the service of evening prayer.

We were invited to sit with the monks in the choir area, but in a special place designated for guests. The monk nearest a member of our group on each side guided us through the prayers when we got lost. I don’t remember much of the service itself, except that I didn’t really know what I was doing. Fr. Guerric had already clued us in that we were to bow “profoundly” to the altar anytime we passed, but some other things that we caught pretty quickly were the “knock” and the profound bow at the Gloria Patri, which followed the singing of every Psalm. The knock is the sign that the service is about to begin, and the response is to make the sign of the cross, bow to the altar, and then sing the Gloria Patri.

After the service was over we met with Fr. Guerric to talk about Tuesday. The Trappists are a contemplative order, and he was very interested in helping us learn to practice contemplative prayer. So we schedule three “sits” during the day on Tuesday that would consist of 20 minutes of contemplative practice, 10 minutes of walking meditation, and 20 more minutes of contemplative practice.

The final service of the day is Compline, a beautiful and contemplative service of prayer in which we pray for all people to have a quiet night and a peaceful death. As we left the service we stopped before the baptismal font where one of the brothers splashed us gently with water using the aspergillum as we remembered our baptisms.

And then began the Grand Silence.

Blogging from the Holy Land, Part 8

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Thu, 06 Mar 2014 01:54:00 +0000

We didn't have to be anywhere until 10:45 today, so my roomie and I checked out of our room early and joined some other friends to tool around the Old City a bit and to explore a place that only seemed like it might be a dream.

That particular place was our first stop. We had heard tell of it but refused to believe it until we saw it for ourselves. You go to Stations III and IV on the Via Dolorosa and there you will see a plain wooden door. You ring the doorbell and are buzzed in. You next come to a large black metal gate, which in our case was open. You continue up several flights of stairs until you reach a beautiful garden. You enter the lovely building and ask for the coffee, and are told that the cafe doesn't open until 10:00am. You hold back tears but go to the roofdeck to take in the view from there.

It is the Austrian Hospice of the Holy Family.

Since we couldn't get our coffee and apple strudel there, we hopped around until we found another place to sit and relax. I got some Arabic coffee. Yum.

We shopped some more, and then three of us went back to the hospice when the cafe opened. It pays to check out early. The coffee was fabulous and the strudel tasted like angels had made it.

Then we went back to the hotel to load up our stuff and move out. We had afternoon activities, but we weren't coming back to the hotel except to eat before catching our flight out.

We stopped first at the Garden Tomb. Our teacher told us that there's no archaeological reason to believe that Jesus' crucifixion and burial took place anywhere other than the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, but this was helpful for allowing us to imagine what a garden tomb might look like. We also celebrated communion there together, and it really was a lovely setting.

Then we went to the Holocaust History Museum, which was not lovely. But it was important.

Our final stop was Ein Karem and the Church of St. John the Baptist, where he was likely born. I didn't take my camera with me so I'll have to wait until others post pictures.

We returned to the hotel for dinner and some final words about leaving the country, and then hit the road!

Blogging from the Holy Land, Part 7

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Mon, 03 Mar 2014 02:06:00 +0000

Today was an optional day: Masada, Qumran, and the Dead Sea. We all opted in.

On the way to Masada, our guide, Munzer, insisted on a detour to Ein Gedi to see the ibexes and the hyraxes. I have never seen or heard a grown man so excited about wildlife. But here's a hyrax:

When we had seen all the wildlife there was to see, we headed for Masada. You can read more about it, because it's far more complicated that I have time, space, or brain power to explain. It's essentially the Mother of All Herodian Palaces that then became important in the Jewish Revolt. It's also a bear to climb, but I did it anyway because it was there.

Since I climbed instead of listening to the lecture I missed a great deal of the historical significance, but I needed the climb for my mental health. Here are some other pictures that I took, though:

When we finished at Masada we spent some time in Qumran. It's right on the Dead Sea with lots of caves for hiding, so overall a good choice for the Qumran community. Here's Cave #4

We ended our day at the Dead Sea, coating ourselves in black mud and floating around, but NOT DRINKING THE WATER! Eight ounces of Dead Sea water can kill you. It's a nice float, but not someplace I'd need to stay all day. Definitely worth the trip, though. After a shower and dinner it was time for bed!

Blogging from the Holy Land, Part 6.2

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Sat, 01 Mar 2014 17:19:00 +0000

After lunch we went to the Western Wall, which may have been my favorite part of Jerusalem. We got to spend some time there, which I enjoyed so much. Here are some of my favorite pictures:

So, the Western Wall wasn't actually part of the Temple, but actually a supporting wall of the Temple Mount. When Emporer Titus laid siege to Jerusalem he left it to remind the Jews of Rome's power. Sounds like a great guy. The part that you can see is the upper part of the wall. It actually goes down 45 more feet.

The left side is the men's side and the right side is the women's side. Here's a little guy hanging with his mom while she prayed.

We went next to the Davidson Center, which is an archaeological park in Jerusalem, centered around where the southwest corner of the Temple was located. This is the area where the ritual baths would have been located, as well as the royal stoa (the administrative offices of the Pharisees).

Then we went out to the teaching steps where we can only assume that Jesus taught his disciples. Interestingly, when Jesus said, "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees," he would have been sitting right under the royal stoa. When he said "You are like whitewashed tombs" the disciples would have only to look to the left to see this:

Here are the teaching steps; one long and one short to intentionally disrupt one's stride and make them slow down:

Our next stop was the Upper Room, which isn't really the Upper Room, because that was destroyed be Emperor Titus when he laid siege to Jerusalem. This particular structure was built in the Crusader period, and then it became a mosque. But the original Upper Room might have looked something like this (with or without James):

Final stop: Tomb of David, which also probably isn't David's tomb, but this is the traditional place. It's considered a synagogue, so men and women have to go into separate parts of the burial place.

Blogging from the Holy Land, Part 6

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Thu, 27 Feb 2014 19:19:00 +0000

We got out of the hotel early so that we could be some of the first at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. We entered the Old City through the Lion's Gate, or St. Stephen's Gate, and marveled at how much the Old City looks like one would expect an Old City to look. Except for the scooters, cars, and other little trucks that haul things. There are lots of stairs, lots of little alleyways, and lots of places to shop.

Our first stop was St. Ann's Church, the traditional home of Mary's family. It's run by the White Fathers and they even had a small seminary there. We stopped to listen to the liturgy.

Then we moved on to the Pool of Bethesda, where John says that an angel stirred up the water once per year. The first person to jump in when the water was stirred would have been healed. It's history is outlined here, but it's interesting to note that the pool was originally part of the Antonia Fortress, built by Herod for the Roman Guard. It was a pagan place, yet Jesus came there to heal those who needed mercy.

When we left St. Ann's we went to the first two stops on the Via Dolorosa. The first was the Chapel of Flagellation, where Jesus may have been beaten. The two stops, the Chapel and Flagellation and the Chapel of Condemnation were in the exact spot of the Antonia Fortress (mentioned above) built in 35 BC by Herod in honor of Marc Antony. Here's the Chapel of Flagellation:

And the inside of the Chapel of Condemnation:

We finally made it to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, but not before lots of other people got in line. The church is jointly (but not always cooperatively) run by five different groups: Franciscans, Coptics, and three flavors of Orthodox. They have such a history of arguing about the joint use of the church that in the 1500s Sultan Suleiman ruled that the Muslims would keep the keys to the church, which they still do to this day.

Helen, mother of Constantine, made it her duty to find out where the holy places in Jerusalem were. It was she that decided that this particular place was the place where Jesus was crucified, anointed, and buried. Eventually a church was built on top of these three places to protect them.

We started at the small chapel that holds the rock that supposedly marked the spot where Jesus' head was laid in the tomb. It's been covered over with a large slab of marble.

Then we moved on to the Rock of Calvary. As with the birthplace of Christ, there's a hole in which you can stick your hand to touch the rock.

Finally, the rock where Jesus was anointed. There were people taking things that they had purchased elsewhere and rubbing them on the rock for a blessing. Not my thing, but quite lovely anyway.

Blogging from The Holy Land, Part 5.2

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Thu, 27 Feb 2014 18:51:00 +0000

After lunch we went for an olive wood shopping spree with the Nissan Brothers, who make their own olive wood carvings by hand. Having spent far more than I should, we moved on to Shepherd's Field. We didn't get to poke around much in the archaeological sites, although we peeked in on a few caves where the shepherds might have spent the night with their sheep if they couldn't make it back to the city in time.

Interesting fact: When the shepherds remained in the caves with their sheep, they would have taken briars and sticks and put them at the front of the cave. Then they would have positioned their own bodies at the entrance as well, literally making themselves the gate to the sheepfold. When Jesus says, "I am the gate," that's exactly what he means.

Want to hear something else that will blow your mind? After Shepherd's Field we went to the Herodium. Here it is from far away:

The Herodium was Herod's wintering place. It was over the top with decorations and luxuries, a pool, and a waterworks that would blow your mind. We walked through those:

But see how it's flat on top? That's not natural. Herod actually had slaves to remove the top of the mountain so that he could build his fortress up there, on the highest spot in the Judean mountains. So when Jesus says, "With faith the size of a mustard seed, you can move mountains," don't you know what the people thought of? Herod had nothing on them.

We ended our day with a service at St. George's and went to bed!

Blogging from the Holy Land, Part 5.1

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Tue, 25 Feb 2014 22:19:00 +0000

I was a little disappointed at breakfast this morning because the spread wasn't as expansive as it had been at the other hotel, but one of the hosts explained that it was Shabbat breakfast: things that could be cooked ahead of time and easily reheated.

Our first stop this morning was the Church of all Nations, also known as the Basilica of the Agony of Christ. It is built next to the Garden of Gethsemane, which translates into "the place where the olives are pressed." And this is where Jesus came when he was pressed and had no way to avoid what was ahead of him. The olive trees were gorgeous, and the weather was perfect. The altar of the church includes a huge stone which commemorates the place in Gethsemane where Jesus might have settled to pray the night before he met with death.

While we were all inside and sitting around the rock, each in our own moments of prayer and contemplation, our teacher, Bob, began reading to us from Luke. He was standing outside of the church but was reading into our earpieces that became an integral part of our touring experience.

We left the Church of all Nations and went to Bethlehem to the Church of the Nativity. We had to cross over a Palestinian checkpoint to get in. We began our journey on the plaza of the church. We knew we would have to wait in line, but may not have been quite prepared for the wait. The church is jointly owned by three different congregations, a Catholic congregation, an Armenian Orthodox congregation, and a Greek Orthodox congregation. Each of them was having mass, so we had to wait for those to finish.

Then there was the line. It funnels into a tiny descent into a grotto where Mary is said to have given birth to Jesus. The stairs open up into a small room where you can crawl into a tiny space where a star indicates the birthplace.

Then you can see the altar to the Three Wise Men before being ushered back up the stairs into daylight. Overall it was a bit underwhelming and somewhat aggravating. But it's all part of the experience I guess. My favorite part was probably watching a group of four teenagers take selfies, proving that teenagers are, in fact, the same everywhere!

Our next stop was the Church of St. Catherine, connected to the Church of the Nativity, and then to the Chapel of St. Jerome, an underground structure where St. Jerome translated the bible into Latin. There was a Korean congregation celebrating mass while we passed through, and on the way out we saw the tombs of the innocents killed by Herod.

Blogging from the Holy Land, Part 4

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Tue, 25 Feb 2014 05:44:00 +0000

This morning we leave the Sea of Galilee. Very few of us are interested in leaving, and though we believe that our fate in Jerusalem will be more positive than that of Jesus, we still understand why he wouldn't want to go. Tiberias is a resort town, and we had perfect weather. The landscape is breathtaking and it lends itself to quietness and a sense of escape. None of us have actually been to Jerusalem, but we anticipate that it will be quite different.

We started this morning at the baptismal site of Jesus. There's a kibbutz there that runs the site. It's quite beautiful. Many of us filled up water bottles with Jordan River water, and the bishop encouraged all of us to touch the water so that we might remember our baptisms. We heard other groups cheering those among them who were being baptized, or rebaptized. It was a happy place.

Our next stop was Jericho. It hasn't been excavated well, so there's not much to see except the monastery built into the side of the hill nearby. But Jericho was right next to the Temptation Shops (the wilderness of Jesus' temptation is thought to be nearby), and I bought everyone's Christmas presents with the help of my new best friend Mohammed, who may be the world's best flatterer.

From Old Testament Jericho we went to Herodian Jericho, which proved to be much more of an adventure than any of us bargained for. While taking pictures on the excavation site, Bishop McAlilly took a pretty serious spill over the side of the ruin and broke two ribs. More about that in a later reflection. So that put a damper on the day.

But it was almost completely redeemed by our visit to the Wadi Qelt, also known as the Jericho Road, upon which a certain man was traveling was he was set upon by thieves while going to Jerusalem. It's also known as...get this... the Valley of the Shadow of Death. Bedouins graze their goats and sheep here, and it's also home to St. George's Monastery, built into the side of the mountain.

After we passed through the Valley of the Shadow of Death (phew) we drove into Jerusalem. Driving into Jerusalem the first time was breathtaking. Our first stop was the Mount of Olives. I always assumed that the Mount of Olives was a peak, but it clearly isn't. We visited the Church of Dominus Flevit (The Lord Wept) which is built in the shape of a teardrop with tear cups on the four roof corners. It commemorates Jesus' tears when he approached Jerusalem.

We made it to our new hotel!

Blogging from the Holy Land, Day 3

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Sun, 23 Feb 2014 19:01:00 +0000

The morning of Day 3 took us to Caesarea Martime on the Mediterranean. Not only was it sunny and warm with just the right amount of breeze, but we were standing pretty close to where Paul might have set sail for his journeys!

Caesarea Martime was one of Herod's palaces. And because it wasn't luxurious and expansive enough, he wanted a freshwater pool at his house. Thus the nine miles of aquaducts constructed for the sole purpose of transporting fresh water to Caesar's house for his pool. There was also a theater and a hippodrome.

Our next stop was Tel Megiddo. A tel is a city mound. In ancient times, when one group would conquer another and damage their infrastructure, the damaged part would be knocked down and something new built on top. Such is the case with Tel Megiddo. Specifically, it's made up of 26 different layers of construction and reconstruction. It's also the site from which we get the name Armageddon, where John tells us that the final battle for earth will take place.

Why? Tel Meggido is pretty significant. It sits above the Jezreel Valley, the largest valley in Israel, and it's on the Via Maris, the route that connects Europe, Africa, and Asia. So people want it, even though, honestly, it's not that impressively massive or high when compared with other high places around.

You want to hear something crazy? Backstory: we know that there were chariots and horses at some point at Tel Megiddo because there are horse troughs and stables. This is what they've uncovered:

So baby Jesus in a nice wooden crib-esque manger? Probably not. In a stone horse trough? More likely. Wood wasn't plentiful but stone was. They wouldn't have wasted their wood on feeding animals when stone was ubiquitous. Look! He'd fit just right!

We also walked through the waterworks. The water supply was outside the city gates, so they needed a way to get water into the city when they were under siege. Hence, water works!

After lunch we went to Nazareth to visit the Church of the Annunciation, commemorating Gabriel's visit to Mary to tell her that she would be mother to the Messiah. It was a beautiful church and its eclectic style reminded me of Gaudi. We entered on the first floor and were able to go down one half flight of stairs to a grotto connected to the caves upon which the church was built. The grotto recalls Mary's visit from Gabriel.

On the top floor a mass was being held in English, so many of us stayed to hear the end of the priest's sermon. We didn't catch much, but we did hear the priest say that Mary's response to the angel was not one of resignation, but one of "Bring it on!" (He didn't make that up. He explained his word study that helped him reach that conclusion. It was great! Then we went outside the church to see the caves over which the church was built. And then snacks!

Here are the caves. Nazareth had a population of 150 people. Small!

Blogging from The Holy Land, Day 2

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Sat, 22 Feb 2014 20:22:00 +0000

Let's back up to the end of Day 1.

First, the food. I've already gained so much weight that my pants aren't going to fit anymore. There are at least 15 vegetable salads at each meal, and that's before the warm food buffet, the desserts, and whatever special treat is available, like a falafel bar, dessert crepes, etc.

Next, the room. I would have slept on a board if that was the only horizontal surface I could find. But it was the cutest little room ever. Think Pottery Barn meets Sea of Galilee. Here it is:

Now, day 2...

We took a bus ride to a kibbutz on "the other side" of the Sea of Galilee and from there we took a boat ride on the Sea. The bishop had asked me at breakfast to read Matthew 4:12-22 before he preached on that same passage. Halfway through the reading I got a bit overwhelmed. I was reading about Jesus calling the disciples. And I was on the Sea of Galilee. The bishop had a wonderful time of teaching, and then we all simply enjoyed the ride. It was warm and a bit breezy. We couldn't have asked for better weather.

A funny aside: As soon as the boat left the dock, the United States National Anthem came blaring over the loudspeaker and the American flag was raised. We immediately stood because it's reflex, but then we looked around at each other, wondering if anyone else thought this odd. Apparently this is something that the boat operator does, not something that would be expected or recommended at all.

After the boat ride we moved on to Tabgha. The Church of the Multiplication at Tabgha is the traditional location of the Feeding of the 5000. This is the rock on which tradition states Jesus blessed the bread given by the young boy.

Then we moved to the Church of Peter's Primacy, just up the street. Tradition states that this is the place where Jesus revealed himself to the disciples after his resurrection by breakfasting with them on the beach. Another rock, another place where it is believed that Jesus fed his disciples. It was here that he called them again to be his disciples.

This particular area of the Sea of Galilee contains warm springs that cause algae to grow, and that algae attracts fish. The warm springs were not attracting fish, but the sea and the warm pebbles on the beach were inviting us to stay for a long, long time.

Then we went to Capernaum. Jesus left his hometown of Nazareth to do his business in Capernaum, which doesn't mean a whole lot to us out of context, but to Jesus' contemporaries it would have been quite significant. Capernaum was home one of the oldest synagogues in the the world and was on the Via Maris, one of the most important trade routes in the Middle East. Jesus would have gotten attention in Capernaum that he could have never received in Nazareth.

After that, the Mount of Beatitudes, commemorating Jesus' Sermon on the Mount. This was a beautiful place to sit and reflect on the location, Jesus' teaching, and his ministry in Galilee.

Then we hiked down to a place called eremos, which is sometimes translated "lonely place." On the side of the hill, looking out on the sea, in the quiet, we wondered if that was the place to which Jesus retreated to teach, to pray, and to grieve. Just below the place where we stopped was a cave that was just about the size that it could hold ten to twelve people.

We reflected on the importance of retreating to a lonely place, and how none of us do it often enough. Even Jesus needed to get away, and somehow we think we can do it all ourselves. Of course, I would probably take more time to get away if I had that view too!

Our last stop for the day was Mt. Arbel. Mt. Arbel is also on the Via Maris, and bandits used to hide in the caves at the top of the mountain to rob the merchants as they came through the mountain pass. The Roman government eventually stopped them by rappelling down the cliffs and throwing hot oil inside the caves.

So then we went back to our hotel and had dinner before crashing.

Blogging from The Holy Land

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Thu, 20 Feb 2014 18:46:00 +0000

Most of the time I prefer to fly as early in the morning as possible. There are fewer opportunities for delayed flights, and I just like to be up and out of the house. Our 2:30pm start to our journey on Monday, however, meant that we would get to Tiberias at dinnertime, with bedtime hot on its heals. Our first leg was to Charlotte and the second was to JFK. Both flights were easy and quick, but few of us were prepared for our experience transferring to El Al when we arrived at JFK. Since we changed planes we had to claim our baggage and then recheck it. We were let into the El Al ticketing area about ten at a time because there were so many of us, and as soon as the small group that I was traveling with was admitted into the ticketing area, we found out that getting to the actual plane was going to be quite an ordeal.

By the time I got to the ticketing area, at least one person ahead of me had been asked to point out the people in the line that he knew. Soon enough, one of the people that I was walking with got pulled from the line. After questioning her extensively, the security agent asked her to pull out everyone in the line that she knew. Eventually seven of us were waiting in a corner. This was ostensibly to expedite the process, but several in our group barely made it to the gate by the time boarding started.

Once aboard, all was fine. I slept a bit, but woke up when many of the passengers got up to move to the back of the plane for prayers. I was groggy, the cabin was barely lit, and watching the men move quietly back and forth was surreal. The same thing happened several hours later, and after what seemed like an absolute lifetime, we were on the ground in Tel Aviv. Baggage claim and Passport Control were a breeze, and soon we were on a bus to Tiberias!

Dear Joshua, on your eighth birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Wed, 13 Nov 2013 14:39:00 +0000

Dear Joshua,

It's hard to believe that you are eight years old, although I know for a fact that you live every day to the fullest. My dear firstborn, the first few months of your life threw me for a loop. I was in a constant state of anxiety and fear. Fear that you weren't eating enough, fear that you would never sleep in your own bed, fear that you would never stop crying, and fear that I would never get a full night of sleep again. While I like people in general, and while I like to be around people, I had also grown quite independent by the time you arrived. I wasn't sure what to do with you, this creature who needed me for everything. I wondered if you would always need me for everything, and I breathed a sigh of relief at every sign of independence that you showed. It's a good thing Vati is such a nurturer and so selfless with his time. Had it not been for him you and I never would have survived.

And then I began to enjoy you. I'd go to sleep at night thinking of the games we could play the next day, the puzzles we could work, and the books we could read. It's hard to believe that just last summer you went to camp on your own.

But let me tell you about now. I was just commenting to a friend yesterday about how much I appreciate your gentleness toward other people. Yes, you're energetic, but your spirit is gentle and I think that draws people to you. You don't have a single judgmental bone in your body. When you're around kids who are different from you or who struggle, you love them anyway and value their friendship. In fact, you do your best to be a friend to everyone. I love how you and your little friends in your class rub each other's backs and put your heads on each other's shoulders. There's not a bit of self-consciousness in any one of you, and your affection for one another is lovely.

I know you know this, but you're ridiculously brilliant. You're so bright that Vati and I wonder what we're going to do for you and with you. I worry that you might become proud of your smarts and view yourself as better than others. But maybe it's just grown-ups that do that. And while I love that you're smart, what I want you to be most of all is good and kind.

My prayer is that you will find what you love to do, what stretches your mind to the fullest, what really makes you come alive, and use that for God's kingdom. God has called you to something wonderful. What that is is between you and God, unless God clues any of the rest of us in on it. But that call is there, and as you grow a year older, I like to think I can see it taking shape. I'm anxious to see it, but I pray that I won't get in the way of it or try to take it over, but only ever point you toward the God who began a good work in you and will see it to completion. Dear God, don't ever let me get in the way.

Stay funny and kind. Lose a little of the attitude with Vati, Clare, and me. Keep doing your pull-ups and work on the back handspring. Never lose your love for playing outside. Throw the football and baseball whenever you can. And grow those front teeth back in.

Love,

Mama

Best Day Ever

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 19:10:00 +0000

Yesterday was great.

I got up and went to boot camp, and it wasn't until I got home and looked at FB that I remembered that it was Jay's liverversary. I hugged him tight for a long time. Then I did that really annoying thing where I say, "At exactly this time last year..." all morning long.

I also got to go to chapel at Union where Jay gave his testimony (I haven't used that word in a long time). He did a really great job. It wasn't until he sat down and I held his hand that I realized that he was shaking (not from Prograf) and that his heart was racing.

During our noon Communion service I told the story of David driving to Nashville so that he could be with us during the surgery. I got to thank Cecil and Tharon for inviting the congregation to an impromptu prayer service on the day of the transplant. I didn't share this in the service, but I later thanked Dan for the groceries and for letting things happen as they needed to happen.

I smiled all day.

I saw Jason's picture of newborn Amanda and remembered that, the day after the surgery, he brought leftovers from her birthday dinner to share with me: Famous Dave's and vegetables, with Trader Joe's beef jerky for a snack.

Amanda and David stopped at CVS to get earplugs for me so that I could sleep through the night. I won't ever forget the breeze on the porch at Satco when I could finally breathe again.

My friend Laura asked at dinner last night if it (yesterday) was the best day of my life. I told her that it really was. One year ago I felt confident that Jay would be fine, but not much compares to the joy of looking back on that day and seeing just how well everything did turn out.

I don't think that it was until yesterday that I realized how vividly I could remember the faces that were with us, and all the kindness and goodness that went with those faces. It wasn't until yesterday that I realized how vividly I remember every emotion, every moment of angst, every ounce of anxiety, the relief of talking with the surgeon when it was over, the terror of hearing the nurse yell Jay's name before I realized that he was trying to get Jay ready for extubation, the calm of knowing that my mom had our children and that I didn't have to worry about them, the absolute exhaustion when the day was over.

And every time I think about it I smile. Sometimes I laugh. Because it is so good.

Lent 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Tue, 19 Feb 2013 04:12:00 +0000

One of the most helpful things I found in the weeks leading up to Lent was this video posted from my friend Tonya. It's incredibly dry but informative and helpful. Maybe I was meant to be Lutheran.

Anyway, I started thinking about my Lenten disciplines and how they fit into the four historical Lenten disciplines in the church. This rubric was really great for helping me check myself and see if I was covering all the bases. And because I never really feel like I'm ready for Lent until I've written down my intentions, here goes:

1. Prayer

I am using Shane Claiborne's Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals for daily readings and prayers, and also keeping a journal as I read and pray

2. Service

The family is using the Lenten World Hunger Calendar again this year. We did this a few years ago and the kids really liked it. We slacked off last year, for obvious reasons, but they seem excited to do it again. It involves scripture reading, prayer, and donation of money every day.

We are also going to participate in the Giving (Up) campaign at our church to support our Habitat for Humanity building project. We've pledged to give a day of working on the house, to pray, and to give financially.

3. Study

My goal this year is to memorize Psalm 51. If I get through that, I'll probably try for another of the Lenten texts.

Oh, and I also have three more books to read and multiple papers to write before my cohort reconvenes in June, if we're talking about that kind of studying.

4. Fasting

I was never much of a shopper until I started working again, and now I could spend all day on Zulily, eBay, and Shop it to Me. During Lent I've decided that not only am I not going to buy...I'm not even going to look. I need to fast from it because I spend to much time doing it, and it has been skewing my already-wrong view of what my priorities should be.

I am fasting from speaking to my kids in any way other than the way I want their tapes to sound. In other words, if the words I speak to them now are the words that are going to be knocking around in their heads, 30 years from now, I want those words to be gracious and life-giving. I'm fasting from words that aren't.

I'm fasting from computer and phone while my kids are awake. It's distracting and it sets a bad example.

So, that's about it. I've failed in every area already.

Have a holy and blessed Lent!

A New Lenten Season

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 22:19:00 +0000

I just reread this post, written on Ash Wednesday 2012, apparently just hours before we found out that Jay had been placed on the transplant list. It's kind of funny that I didn't wait to write the post, knowing that we would likely get a phone call that night.

This time of preparation for Lent has been much different than last year. I actually enjoyed the Mardi Gras Kids' Parade this year instead of standing in the middle of the street feeling lost and mute. And I preached at the evening Ash Wednesday service this year, instead of sitting in the pew and weeping.

Oh, there was weeping this year, just not from the pew.

I expected that this Ash Wednesday I would be smiling at the memory of the life-changing news that we had received just a year before, but instead I felt fairly contemplative and not very chatty. I wrote a sermon that I figured would do but I wasn't really on fire about it. During dinner prior to the service I remembered standing up on a chair in the middle of our fellowship hall and yelling to anyone who would listen that Jay had been placed on the list. And while I was preaching I remembered sitting in the pew with Jay who, when he was reminded that he was dust, and that he would return to dust, wept openly. And then I sort of lost it. I only had about five sentences of my sermon left, so I powered through, but it took me by surprise. I know that anniversaries of major events carry a lot of emotion, but I didn't think I'd get choked up given that the news we received a year ago was so happy.

But I sure did.

It's really incomprehensible that it's been a year since we got the news. It made for a pretty meaningful Lent, that's for sure. I remember telling my colleagues when we returned from the transplant evaluation not to be surprised if Jay actually had the transplant during Lent. It just seemed appropriate. And sure enough, Lent was our waiting season, and Easter was our first time back in church as a family.

It was meaningful, yes, but Jay and I have agreed that a not-so-meaningful Lent would be just fine this year.

The Best of Christmas 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Fri, 28 Dec 2012 02:24:00 +0000

Mostly because I don't want to forget, and partially because I appreciate the scoop on good gifts for kids, I'm going to review the best of the Bernheisel Christmas, 2012. Here goes:

Best Christmas Breakfast Strata

I found it on Allrecipes about a year ago. This is the second time I've made it, but I don't want to forget that it is my favorite. It's full of ham, zucchini, onions, mushrooms, bread, and lots and lots of cheese. I intend to be more dedicated to Paleo in 2013, but I will come back to this next Christmas, bread and all.

Here is the link to the recipe.

Thank you, Arlene Butler, wherever you are.

Best Squash Casserole
If you said it didn't look all that great, I would agree with you, but that's because the picture shows it made with french fried onions. Yuck. But I left out those atrocities to foodkind and it was good enough to make me weep. It requires boiling the squash and onions before putting it all together, but that step wasn't as time-consuming as it might seem. Again, with the cheese. Lots and lots of cheese. We had this along with a roasted leg of lamb.

Here's the link. I I found it quickly on Pinterest, but don't want to lose it.

Best Movie We Watched Over the Holidays

I heard an interview with Brian Selznick (who wrote the book on which the movie is based) and was intrigued. And it has clocks and gears and robots in it, so there was no doubt it was going to be a grand-slam in our house. I'll admit that I slept through the first half--I was in desperate need of a nap--but I think I managed to see the best stuff. The kids loved it. It's PG.

Best Nerd Gift

It's the Hydrodynamic Deluxe Set. It's what you give the kid who's already exhausted the Chaos Tower from last Christmas and needs to learn about fluid dynamics. I was a little concerned about mess, but one of the things that I love about this is that the whole thing comes in its own carrying case. Several of the best building sets we have (Chaos Tower, Quadrilla Marble Run) come in a cardboard box that disintegrates after about a week. But this just packs up nicely when the bottom part of the case isn't used for holding the water. It didn't take too long to master, and it seems to be fairly easy to take apart and reassemble (the Chaos Tower last year took a long time). It also lends itself to allowing the user to create configurations that aren't listed in the manual.

Best Gift for a Pleasant Surprise

I make my own laudryry detergent, household cleaners, and deodorant, so when my dad said that he had gotten Clare a perfume-making set, I had my doubts. But I'm surprised at how much I love it. First of all, all the scents are all natural. Second, Clare had no problem jumping right in and making her own scents. She's made a bottle for everyone in the house, and they actually smell good! Once she mastered the eyedropper (one drop equals a drop, not a squeeze) she had it made.

Best Gift for Anyone

So, my mom got them for my kids, but I do them after they've gone to bed.

Best Places to Shop for Christmas Gifts

Daily deals for moms and kids. I've been buying gifts all year long. Some I even forgot about until I started looking for the presents that I'd hidden. By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, most of my shopping was done!

MindWare has become our go-to for shopping for things for the kids.

Best Pants

So, for no reason that I know of, a glorious new catalog arrived in my mailbox this Christmas. Sahalie. Have you heard of it? I hadn't, but two pages in and I was in love. They have this stuff called Butterfleece. It makes me want to curl up with myself and take a nap. I need a pillowcase made out of this stuff. Anyway, I treated myself to some Butterfleece Snuggle Pants. I probably won't ever take them off. And they come in TALL!!!!!

Pictures from NYWC, Day 3

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Sun, 18 Nov 2012 02:58:00 +0000

My dinner at FT33. Pork loin, butternut squash, black trumpet mushrooms, kale, prunes, and almonds.
I thought I might die.

Jereme's dinner. Lamb breast and rack, barley, yogurt, poppy, and carrot puree.
Get it? The puree looks like a carrot!

Dessert! Lemongrass panna cotta.

Jeff's dessert! Pumpkin, pear, bourbon glaze, and pecan yummies.

NOT the two most photogenic people in the room.

The cute waiter with the facial hair near the sign proclaiming that good moustaches are always in season!

Blogging from NYWC, Day 3

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Sun, 18 Nov 2012 02:47:00 +0000

If I recall, I took it easy on Saturday last year, too. I went to a great seminar with Jim Burns on building family-based youth ministry and then went for a run. This one was much more successful than yesterday's. I finally made it to the part of downtown that isn't being torn apart, and that made for a much easier time of it. Plus, I actually mapped out my route beforehand. That may have made it easier, too.

At noon, Nick and I had lunch with our new friend Jeff (although at this point he probably counts as old friend), and our old Lambuth friend Malissa who is a Minister to Children and Youth in Tampa. We talked about Jackson and Lambuth, but it was also really neat to connect about our ministries and share our ministry stories.

At 2:00 it was time for the last seminar of the day. Since our church is planning to focus on biblical storytelling in the coming year, I decided to go visit Mike Novelli, whose writing focuses on biblical storying for youth. I took a picture, asked him about his presentation last year that I regularly listen to on my mp3, and volunteered to help him during an activity. He probably thinks I'm his stalker. But it was great information that I'm excited to take back to my church.

Then Jereme came to pick up Jeff, Nick, and me and take us out to a new restaurant that he found. It was more event than meal, and we (at least I) had a wonderful time visiting and eating. It was one of the greatest meals I've ever had, and I've had some pretty decent meals in my time. It was FT33 and I highly recommend it!

Now I am getting ready for bed and a long day tomorrow. We have a full day of seminars and a flight back home to look forward too. Oh! And lunch with my professors and colleagues in my D.Min. program who are here!

Pictures from NYWC, Day 2

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Beth) — Sat, 17 Nov 2012 07:11:00 +0000

Waiting for the evening plenary!

Adrian (in the red) leads a youth ministry team from a church here in Dallas. He was called to be a youth pastor at a church that didn't have any youth, so he and his team had to go find them. They do a lunch ministry in their local high school, and Mark is telling him that YS is sponsoring lunches for the rest of the year. He then broke it to Adrian that Doug Fields was giving 10 scholarships to the Student Leadership Conference for Adrian's team and the kids he wanted to bring from the lunch ministry.

One other high point was that the couple married for the shortest time and the couple married for the longest time both got to go on dates sponsored by YS.

Tony Campolo getting a Lifetime Appreciation Award from YS.

Gungor!

Believe it or not, the Methodists had the coolest booth in the exhibit hall. Bazinga!