Dating, Mating, Texting, Sexing, Sexting, Meat marketing…It’s Wednesday night, you’re waiting for the Qonjit you met at that swanky jazz spot on Friday Night to call you back – she seemed into the music but way more into you.. I mean, you were exchanging smoldering looks over that candle while you argued about the origin of jazz and the African roots that seeped in from beats in Blues and Gospel and the Latin beats that also happen to have some African flavor and on and on with the rumble & thump of that jazz bass, low and deep…
On the flip side – in a parallel plane, 2 Saturday nights ago she got stuck with the friend of a friend who seemed to drop interesting insights about the business scene in Addis, ideas that had sunk into her mind as they caused her to pause and reflect, even squint a little bit. But then her friend’s birthday party turned upbeat & as the music came on it wasn’t just his ideas that were sinking into different parts of her; causing her to pause and repel; this time in unpleasant ways. And so it goes — daram paramp pam... the parade of days in Modern day dating. Last month you were fawning over “never gonna call you” and over-analyzing your “Ms/Mr Unavailable,” and in a few weeks you’re the one narrowing your eyes as someone asks you for a dinner as you wonder “will I be leading her/him on if…” .
At best it feels haphazard, at the most comedic it feels like a pre-set skit complete with stage design, costumes, sound effects and bloopers. Modern-day dating and it kinks and tentacles wrapping up your limbs guiding you to act one way or another be it by “The Rules” or according to “The Game” you learned as pearls of wisdom from that “Pick-Up Artist” book…  waiting 3 days to call? Do you have to ‘put out’ on the 5th date? Does he just want to get into your pants? Is she just here to enjoy a free meal? why is it so hard to shrug off that ‘on again/off again’ ex? Is sex gonna complicate your friendship? Did she just downgrade you to the “friend zone”? Is he interested, or collecting ego notches? Why do all the nice girls like the bad boys? Why are all the hot good guys taken or gay? An on and on and on…

Eventually, even this mass of messes is crumbling and it seems less people than ever are actually “dating” in college campuses but still “hook up” a lot (you might wonder – does the real world reflect college?). And there is countless periodic “the state of marriage” media commentary coming out lately. Lamenting:  Is it obsolete? What’s the point anyway? Well let the gays have it since they seem to want it more than straights with those 50% (?) divorce rates… And then the fairytale and romantic comedy myths enter; on cue – princesses, villains, hyper-sexed culture & porn: sex sells, how long has it been since you got laid, booty calls, f**k buddies, friends with benefits, benefits with exes…is your head whirling yet? I present to you some of the slush that swirls around the mind of a young-something modern-day dater.

Swimming in the depth of this, I realized something that hit me amidst my “is there a spark” vs. “he’s such a great guy” battle: in all this hoopla I am totally missing out on getting to know an awesome human being! And that was a big light bulb moment! In the long run, as a dater, the current dating dynamic does not serve my purposes at all! *blinks* *wtf* I absolutely love friendships — I mean the real kind that nourish your spirit and help you as you build your moments and place in the world. A relationship – in my mind – would be an extension of that because all I really want is someone that I’m supremely attracted to & can be intimate with but then can spend a lot of time with & connect with on many other realms; usually the realms for friends. I mean I really gotta like you to wanna date you is what it comes down to. The ironic part is – for the most part – there’s no safe space or way to explore a low key “multifaceted” connection with someone based on who they are as a human because both of us seem to get yanked into some Act 4 Scene 2 of a dating skit and we jump on that carousel of “am I being needy to be texting him 6 times today?” dilemma. I mean seriously?? No really that’s a real question… I have much better things to do than wasting time contemplating the lines in this play especially when I won’t even get to access the human being for who he is vs. the “alpha male” “nice guy” “successful guy” “funny guy” “mr. mysterious” or whatever persona he’s playing to impress! And all this simply cos we got or will get “physical”? While on the flip side I’m wondering if he’s scheming how to get into my pants. *FOH* Excuse me while my jaw drops….  *sigh* I realize some might enjoy all of this fanfare but honestly — life’s ripe for living and I ain’t particularly interested minus in “building a genuine connection” to let it mess up my hair or waste my time! I could completely do without all the fan fare and simply build the connection if I had the choice.

A few conversations with friends got me thinking… I like the unassuming, casual way that friendships form and build without people having to be ‘on guard’ or ‘on point’ or anything else except fully themselves. And that is the reason the authentic friend connections can build in a natural progression. How awesome would it be if you can get to know a person for who they are without the bells and whistles, without the expectations and constraints and “skits” “soundtracks” etc. In the “get to know you” phase, all of these could be fully suspended with 100% focus on getting to know a person with an understanding that you could become friends, acquaintances, lovers, dating etc. This way we’re not in the “put on” business obsessing about “putting out” while tip toeing around what could “put off” the other person …. phew!

I wanna call it prototype FriendshipPlus — a step to be inserted at the beginning of the process when meeting someone. It’s essentially an understanding the connection could go on to be a friendship, acquaintance but even more awesomely — a dating situation. That is, as long as both people are cognizant, honest and open with no expectations. In the best case scenario, the suspension of expectations and constraints would lower guards, create a safe space and allow a human-to-human connection minus all the crazy fanfare flying around in the dating world. Am I crazy to think this would be awesome??

Oprah has her favorite things shows, and it’s amazing. I have a few favorite things now that I think about it.  But want inspired me to write today after a long absence is the new IPAD 2.

Here is my list in no particular order.

1. Roku Player : you can connect it to any TV and get your Netflix, Amazon Videos and HULUY directly through Wi-Fi connection.  It has a remote and just needs power.
2. Chivas Regal : Long before its popularity in the US, I was a fan thanks to my big brother. It’s the best blended scotch out there.  It grew 61% in the last 8 years.
3. American Apparel T-shirts: This is no shameless plug, I love American Apparel tees. Soft, durable and amazing fit.
4. Campers Shoes: This is going to apply the same theory as in the tshirts; Soft, durable and well amazingly comfortable. And don’t forget its casually stylish.
5. Last but not least it’s the iPad 2, I cant believed I lived 30 years without it. I makes like super easy. The other day I opened an app called epicurious and told it what I have to in the fridge and it told me what to make; it was quesadillas for dinner.

This is a new one I really loved. But I do remember the one below from the 90′s. Although there are a lot of African Mother songs. Most of them terrible.

This one is a very powerful and significant song. Disney knows how to make music powerful. If you have seen Endurance, then you know what they did with Ethiopian Music.

I thought this was an interesting post on hair stuff. Source

As winter was fast approaching, I made it a point I needed to travel somewhere warm this year. I was not going to get stuck in another “snowmaggedon”. You’d figure that after all of these years living abroad, I’d get used to the cold or learn to appreciate it. So i decide to make my way back home, Ethiopia. When travelling, I make a very short and concise list of things to do. Everything that happens in between is sheer luck or happenstance.

I was on a mission to meet this guy known as DJ Mitmitta. It was on my to-do list. I was trying to make use of every minute, second of my days that I missed out on asking about this man. One chilly night, I decide to go a jazz bar with a friend. In between sets I hear this great mix of ethio jazz and I ask my friend who the DJ is, low and behold : DJ Mitmitta. DJ Mitmitta, also known as Kidus, owns a music shop in aware called Mitmitta Musika. Did I forget to mention that this man is norwegian and speaks amharic that will make you question yours? Yes. So now, I’m confused that I am communicating with this norwegian guy in amharic and his knowledge about ethiopian music is rather impressive, for someone who’s only lived in Ethiopia 3-4 years. I digress.

I stumbled up on Dj Mitmittas’  tumblr blog, thanks to a friend, and ever since then I made it a point to find this man. After playing phone tag and missed appointments (addis style), I finally made it to his music shop. As soon as I walk in, I see famed masinko player Idriss Hassan playing a tune and few members from the band Le Tigre Des Platanes walking out from the back room.

I look around his music shop; he sells mostly old cassettes tapes and CD’s from ethiopian musicians living abroad, such as Debo Band. However, much to my dismay, I did not see any vinyl. Apparently, no one really sells vinyl “in public”. People sell some of their collections via middle men or you know someone who owns a collection. I ended up purchasing 5-6 cassettes tapes which he then turned into mp3′s on a CD for a small fee. Some of the artists I had never heard of like : Kedir Said, Ali Muhammad Birra, Abetew Kebede… I am not a connoisseur of traditional Ethiopian Music so if these artists are common to some of you, please cut me some slack.

Besides owning a store in aware, Dj Mitimitta has a weekly gig at Guramayle Jazz Club in Bole with the in-house band called the Jazzmaris. He also has aspirations in the music scene which are exciting and can’t truly reveal. If you ever make it to Ethiopia in the near future, I urge to visit his shop, support good music and get a taste of the local Ethio Jazz nightlife which is thriving!

Come Christmas, I feel my adrenaline rush when I see flaring poinsettias lining the window sills, boughs of holly adorning office desks, the lights brightening dreary winter, the red gloves and scarves, the snow splattered cars crowding area malls, the foggy sky or rather the smoggy sky, the colorful sugar cookies, candy canes loosely clinging on Christmas trees, frosty, Rudolf, Santa and Ginger bread man, the carols blasting everywhere you go, evident  bad hair days, the snow stricken pale faces, the salvation army bell, the red and green everywhere, the beeping of snow cleaning  trucks, tacky inflatables cluttering front lawns, the traffic, the long lines in store register, the countless credit cards being swiped, worrisome scrooges loosening up their pockets, the kids excitement about what they will get………..

On that silent night and holy night I calmly wish to hear that distant heavenly chant of the holy liturgy .Instead of pine and cinnamon, I long to smell ketema, semhal and ariti. On that blessed morning, I want to see the blended smoke of inscence and roasting bunna rising in unison. I crave to eat my mothers dorowat with ayib and hmbasha. I, more than anything want to hear the endless chattering of my mom and sisters. And before they partake, I want to serve my father and uncles a wash basin for their hand. I hope to ponder the divine story behind it all instead of contemplating where to hide my kids’ gifts. I yearn to accept the Godly gifts I have instead of contemplating the earthly things I will get .Where do I even start…..

My kids excitement and the knowledge that this is indeed THEIR Christmas and ‘all the glitter’ rehabilitate me from my nostalgia that forever begs not to be disturbed .American Christmas is like walking into the garden of Eden serenely anticipating to see the prophecy fulfilled .It is decorated delightfully, it is neutral and all inclusive .In spite of my internal conflict, I think I am learning to like this white Christmas.

He is a victim of a hit and run and by the looks of things, his days seem numbered. On my left is my own eighty year-old beloved uncle with a broken pelvic bone and a sandbag strapped to his right foot weighing it down to keep him from moving it. He was hit by a taxi driver and abandoned before he could receive medical attention. In a bed next to him rests another man who was also in a car accident.

I enjoy driving most days. But these days in Addis the few times that I drive, I do so in paranoia and travel as a passenger with unease. Impatience and aggressiveness on the roads has long been a trademark of the city but nowadays either I have become slow or there seems to be a “crazy” spreading around to get “there” faster.

A month ago I witnessed a man run for his life leaving behind him someone’s loved one laying on the road surrounded by a swarm of people screaming. A few weeks back someone I know was in an accident, instantly killing his loved one who sat next to him in the passenger seat. Days ago I heard of a young girl punished with a 15 year imprisonment for running over and killing someone’s loved one as he crossed the pedestrian walk. And today a friend of mine tells me her co-worker lost her father – her loved one – to a traffic accident.

According to the Department of Forensic Pathology at Menelik II Hospital, from the 200 autopsies conducted in 2006, 80% of injury related deaths are due to automobile related accidents. That is a staggering figure. Even more staggering is that Ethiopia has the highest per capita rate of car fatalities in the world with 190 deaths per 10,000 vehicles. With a vehicle population of around 250,000 and about 60% of those concentrated in Addis Ababa, reckless driving, dismissal of pedestrian rights at crossings, inattentiveness of pedestrians themselves and drunk driving claim the lives of loved ones of many.

Although the new “Road Traffic Safety Regulations” of the Addis Ababa City Government which came into effect towards the end of 2009 introduce commonsense rules for drivers to abide by, the deeper impact is yet to be felt. Furthermore, I wonder if Article 538 of the EFDRE criminal code which states“Whoever causes the death of a human being intentionally or by negligence, no matter what the weapon or means used, commits homicide” and talk of vehicular homicide criminal charges, has turned would-be-assistance-givers into hit-and-runners. After all, how can we expect someone who may face imprisonment to remain and identify himself/herself, right?

The bottom line is that those regulations exist for our own safety. Not because some traffic police wishes we squirm in our seats strapped behind a seat belt or that we miss that “very” important call that we are not patient enough to pull aside and attend to. But we can only feel the positive effect of these regulations only when we allow them to translate into our daily habits. I myself have in the past been guilty of mild intoxication, talking and texting on my cell and eating while driving until some very close calls reminded me that I am not immune to contributing towards a traffic fatality and that it can happen to me too. I have many loved ones and I am someone’s loved one.

If we cannot let it sink in that we are all connected, then let us at least accept that we all have someone we love and that loves us. Let us not wait to wake until it hits closer to home!

Spread the word to drive responsibly and compassionately.

Although slowly, we here at bernos have been made some progress over the summer. We have been sending our products to retailers in various parts of the world.

I remember when we first sent some bernos™ tees to a store in US Virgin Islands about 18 months ago.

One of these stores is Agnes & Lola anAfrican Boutique based in London; which launched this past summer.  It was nice to see Lola Remi and Agnes & Lola featured on CNN this past weekend.

Please read the article and share it via your social networks; because like Lola said:

It’s not just about building ourselves but about promoting Africa in a positive way.”
—Lola Remi, founder of Agnes & Lola

We are extending the Free Shipping week from Last week through Thanksgiving.

Image Source

I know such a serious title to this post. I usually title my posts after I finish writing them.  This is one of those things I somewhat think about but never read anywhere.

I remember Karl Lagerfeld the Chanel Fashion designer wrote a book around five years ago about his diets.  I heard it was his doctor that actually wrote it or something to that extent — half and half of sorts.

Regardless he lost some 92 pounds in about a year.  After wiki-ing it looks like it was an extreme diet that required about 1000 calorie intake a day or so.

He was over 70 when he started his diet.  He is one of the most iconic fashion designers of the last 40 years.  But it was still interesting that a man of his age would go to such extreme to look good. I am not saying he is almost dead but you know what I mean.  It just doesn’t seem like a health issue as opposed to a social issue.

But I have noticed that the cultural trend is more the body shape than the shape of the nose now as opposed to the past.  I think the post nineties trend is the marathon and protein shake than the facelift.  The percentage of porn in the MILF category is closer to the TEEN category than it ever has been. I made that part up, but I think it’s true.

I don’t want to quote the clichéd idiom about beauty but it’s a fad. Cindy Crawford’s mole is not the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, but I think  that was accurate when I was 13 years old.

Apparently a firm body is more important and more fashionable than the color of your eyes and the shape of your symmetrical face.

And yes I have joined a gym and am working out regularly.  At least till this fad passes by, 30 years from now.

The only good thing is that beauty is not a pie that exclusive to Hollywood and the marketing department of Coco-Chanel; it is not exclusive.  Thanks to factions like Black Consciousness Movement or similar empowerment slogans like black is beautiful or black power or hip hop songs — with lyrics  like the ‘dopest Ethiopian’ everyone and especially black people are defining their own definition of what beauty is.

I have a friend who always buys present to girls in his life; expensive ones, considerate ones, cheap ones and significant ones.

A friend, a female one once asked me why I agonize about time; time I spend with potential mates while they are still potential… “as long as you are sharing the costs. I’m just saying.” This way when I was 24 years old and well my time was a gift. It’s funny to think about it now. But it makes reiterates a good lesson in my life.

What is your protocol?

That is what he asked when they were about to pay for whatever it is they were going to do? She asked what he meant, and he recapped; how do you want to deal with our finances?

Meaning, do you want to split the bill, or he pays this time and then she pays the next time. He wanted to make it clear.

Now she is still seeing him casually but I refer to him as ‘protocol.’  The choices in his wording are pretty funny but he is African American; and am somewhat stereo typing but I like ‘lets get something straight’ while you are potential aspect of it in that culture.

For me the little dinners or theater tickets have never been an issue, at the time when I was 25 I was more worried about my time. As long as she offers to share the bill I don’t mind paying for it. And this applies for most guys. I think! As long as she doesn’t take it for granted. I have heard guys say ‘nothing is more a turn off that those who attempt to get too many freebies.’

I have noticed that some females insisting on paying for their fair share; At least from my experience.

So what is your protocol?

We forget how big it is because of the lack of socio-political influence on western culture, I think.

Africa is bigger than North America, China and India combined. Yet, in the news I hear more about China or India everyday. Africa is out of mind and out of sight for the westerners. 

Here is an Original Image where you can check out the True Size of Africa.

I have been struggling with something on my mind. Philosophy is study of problems of many things. For example you could find me starting my sentences with “my philosophy…”

Ethics is a branch or an extension of philosophy that address right versus wrong.

Everything and anything at some level becomes an issue of ethics. Friendships, business relationships, business agreements and arrangements that require two people to negotiate become an issue of morality.

The problem is situation require people to be unethical. Years ago I for example was promised a job and got the job and started and then the employers let me go a few days into the job. This was a contract situation in which I turned down another contract and ended up here.

For years after that I always would set up a backup plan so that I am not stuck without an opportunity. I once accepted three short term contracts, all starting a week after another. This way if the first job was not appealing I would quit and go to the second position followed by another all in a three week period.

This was highly unethical but business and managers are well better off than I am and most likely fucked over a lot more people than I ever have. In fact, I have seen by bosses or coworkers low ball people that were desperate for a little bit of work.

Those at the top of the food chain abuse those that are below them. Unfair and unethical behavior is everywhere! And so I thought it was ok for me to do the same.

The only thing is that I am fair in non-work situations; especially with my friends.

I automatically expect those around me to treat me ethically. If they don’t, I tell them and or protect myself. The problem is that people I think are behaving immorally in certain situations involving me; then I don’t know what to do except pondering seizing and desisting my arrangement with them.

I need him in my life. In awkward situations he is a life saver and never boring with his wealth of ideas. If I am not enjoying my company he makes whoever it is feel less important by his constant presence. Everyday he comes up with these great ideas for short weekend trips or cozy Italian dinners.

He never forgets what I tell him or what I give him. The only time I had a fight with him was the time he was too stubborn to forget. Well that was my fault. I over indulged him with too much information. I have yet to be forgiven for some of my childish mistakes.  I think he simply puts it in the back burner somewhere and we are good again.

Sometimes I worry. I worry practical worries of where our relationship is heading and how I am becoming overtly dependant on him soon enough I talked to him about these worry and instantly he comes up with solutions. Many a nights he had his way with me leaving me exhausted till my joints ache, but he kept going and going and left me wanting more. It is like he has indispensible energy or something. Some other nights he takes me to these places I can only imagine…

I also feel well read these days thanks to him. He subtly brings up books and stuff to read. He does not push it or anything. He just pops it up amidst conversation. I am able to read summaries of Jane Austen’s classics.

Sometimes I feel exhausted, beat-up with red eyes and all. He has issues with overloading me with some things I simply don’t have to know or hear. He is addictive! I am telling you he is like a drug readily available in my pocket. He could also be too clingy at times insisting to sit on my lap even in public. I am the type that does not show affection in public.

Everything seems to go in a daze these days. I can’t stand people. I can’t stand how slow they move. He has become my point of reference and I keep comparing his efficiency with them and they fail miserably. He is so self organized as well.

I sometimes don’t have a recollection of what I did to entertain myself before we started hanging out. I also fear that people will start saying I am with him all the time minamin. My best friend says I am just another girl to him. She says that I am just using him to fill void from daily life. She complains that we don’t spend time like we use to because of him.

He also values old friends and family. I spent virtual time with old friends because of him. I have also avoided friends because of him.  Life without him is unthinkable and comparable with the dark ages. Hold on …what was the real story behind the dark ages anyway…?

I have to ask him that too. I told you he is like an addictive drug but his side effects are starting to work adversely. He is my source of everything. I see the world through his eyes. Help me! How do I go on with this affair???????????

There are many crazes that keep me blissful or the better phrase ‘keep me content.’ Sometimes I go home on a Friday night after picking up a Thai dish or the perfect cheese steak sandwich from the place 2 miles south of where I live.

I fix up the coffee table with my soda, a cup of coffee and some cookies for desert. I tune the TV to stream a foreign film could be anything and enjoy the evening unwinding. If my phone doesn’t ring, I am happier. If I have some project to finish during the weekend, it’s on my mind. But then there are those weekends I could just sit back and relax.

I have never been able to explain this to my friends. Especially significant others, I need to be left alone every once in a while to reboot by short attention span.

I love spending time with my friends; I have about a dozen or so different people I hang out with on occasion. Different crews for different things. Sometime I organize outings.

I would send out an email and ask people to join me for a certain excursion. The people that meet on these occasions are ones that may have never met prior. We have fun; we keep it short and sweet

On the same token my friends also invite me to certain events or outings of sorts. I rarely join them but I do on occasion and it’s usually fun. I tend to leave earlier that everyone, unless I am the one that organized it.

I prefer the planned events compared to the casual meet-ups. Some people just text, I am over here having beer; if you want you can join us on Charles St.

I don’t just show up at a random gathering without knowing who is gathering. I thing being exclusive with your encounters socially doesn’t necessarily equate one as unsociable personality.

I believe I am social but not one of those people that go to a cocktail party and makes elevator talk with random people for no reason other than to seem like I am having fun.

Furthermore, I think it’s not proper etiquette to force someone to socialize with people that don’t necessarily have somewhat similar interests; much like forcing someone to go clubbing when they don’t like clubbing.

But people take it personally, when someone refusing to do certain things. I have never been able to understand that. Some people find me annoyingly blunt, and that’s ok for them to feel that way.

Basically, we should  only do what we want with people of our choosing.  Significant others or friends shouldn’t require people in their lives to be involved in with other people in their lives with different interests.

The words for dating always confuse me. I don’t understand how dating differs from hanging out; if you go on a date does it mean you are dating? Blah blah

I personally just call it talking. I am talking to this girl. If we hang out a couple of times, i.e., we go on a date, does it mean we are dating? Or are we just talking. If it gets physical and we don’t end up talking the next day or the day after then I know it’s a hook up.

The point is, that is mostly depends on the girl. She literally makes the choice initially.

I once was on a date or so I thought and a random female stranger came up to her and told her that she was pretty; and then followed it with a question inquiring if we were married.

I loved the question. It would be interesting to hear what the girl was going to say. If I was on the spot I would have joked about it as I have many times.  Yes we are married! In fact we are from Madagascar on our honeymoon; I don’t think she would have married me if she didn’t get pregnant.

She didn’t joke about it.  She is not the joking type.  She never jokes. She was going to tell her the truth. But I didn’t know if her truth is matched my truth. It’s like poker; don’t bluff if you are going to get called. If she said he is my boyfriend, I probably wouldn’t like it. If she said we are dating, I would most likely think that is somewhat accurate.

She said we are just friends. GRRR! I figured that is the least presumptuous and safe answer.

I didn’t like it! And it got even worse when the stranger at that point wanted to introduce her to someone she thought would be a good match for her. I just sat back and listened to the stranger went on and one about the guy.

At this point, I was done. I dont hang out with new girls just to be friends.  I would have walked away right there but I wanted to make it obvious that I didn’t care! Then I really didn’t care anymore, I didn’t call her or get in touch.

In her own pace, weeks later she contacted me, asking to hang out. I think we hanged out a few times more and things fizzled out through no ones fault. If she had treated me better I think I would have treated her better. Basically I didn’t like her choice of language.

Of course, there are extremes of the language situation both from the males and the females. I have heard one guy say to a girl that they are ‘just f***king‘ after a year of doing just that. I have heard a girl say she is just hanging out after stringing a guy along for unreasonable amount of time.

And I myself have been guilty and or a victim of this in many situations. I am just saying that the choice of language is an important aspect of any relationship — be it a booty call or an LTR.

Disclaimer: not all parts of this story are completely accurate.

I was just browsing the web, reading the reviews of customers who bought a certain products on Amazon; scanning to see if a book is popular or lame.

I found that half the people think that the author is a pretentious bastard who can’t write for shit and then other half either thought the book was a page turner interesting even if the author’s writing style was amateurish or that the book is funny and well written in a straight unpretentious manner.

Interestingly enough I started write posts for bernos in one sitting or in two.  Sometimes I start and save the file and come back to it another time, in most cases the next day or 2 days after.

In this case however, as you may have realized I have disappeared for a while. A while enough that I wrote the first two paragraphs of this post over a month ago; beginning of August or so. Since then I have not only finished the book I was review the reviews of, but also finished reading or listening to audio book of two additional books.

The point I wanted to make at the time was, if I remember correctly that I wished people generally agreed more about everything. The fact is that people who read or see or enjoy a certain product see it from a different perspective. The best party could be the worst party ever depending on who hooked up that night.

The only consensus comes only after an over abundant set of reviews for whatever it is we are reviewing. I love reviews; when there are enough or better yet more than enough of them.

Some films on rotten tomatoes have 3 reviews and all 3 might say that the film is not rotten stupid. And this is not enough. You need 200 or so reviews before there is consensus.

The average of a small amount of people is not consensus. So my gut feeling is more of what I need to judge.

A few months ago, everyone that I talk to including family and friends suggested I do something. Althought I disagreed with the concept, everyone thought it was a good idea. Not even one single person agreed with my perspective of the situation.

It wasn’t a matter of life and death nor was it an extra ordinary venture but it was significant enough that I had to evaluate all aspects of the situation before I made a decision. My decision although was mine to make, but affected others, and thus had to carefully weight their thoughts.

It’s still early to judge the outcome fully but its looking more like I was right and they were all wrong.  All of them!

The point, consensus only comes after the number of feedback reaches an abundance of a minimum set.

I got an email from the PR person for Debo Band, for a plug on bernos. Generally I look at what they are promoting since I get those emails all the time. If its music, I have to like it.

I was familiar with the name, meaning I have heard of Debo Band but I haven’t listed to their music. And well I went to their website and got an earful.

The songs are all of which I love and it sounds like it’s performed by a full orchestra like they are meant to be played.

They are on tour right now, so I highly suggest you check their schedule out and see if you can get some enlightenment.

I am however pissed that they are not coming to DC.

Yes we know its been a while but we are still here!

Summer of 2010 is almost over but it was very good. We went to San Jose for ESFNA in July. It was exciting to meet some of our west coast bernos™ fans. While in San Jose, we introduced our new bernos™ shirts.

If you were there, then consider yourself lucky since you received a preview of what was to come. It seems as though we’ve been quiet and maybe not doing too much. Au contraire, Nolawi has been putting man hours in revamping the site and making it more easy for you to shop and navigate. Many new features, including but not limited to moving our site from bernos.org to bernos.com although both urls will direct you to the main site.

bernos™ kids tee

Our customers have been bombarding us with request for a kids version of the bernos™ tees. We’re happy to announce our new bernos™ kids tees; we are starting with two concepts — ET alien & Baby Afro.

bernos™ kids ET Alien is available now in 3 different sizes on Orange American Apparel tee.

Baby Afro

The Afro — is the natural hairstyle for people of African descent, although there is variation of the Afro Hairstyle each represent genuine beauty of African people.

The Baby Afro concept came about our appreciation of African beauty and aesthetics, as embodied by the Black is beautiful movement; from a 2 year old child to your 90 year old grandma. The bernos™ Baby Afro tee for kids is available now in 3 different sizes on baby blue American Apparel tee.

Everyday people

Introducing new bernos™ tee called Everyday people, inspired by the 1968 single by Sly & the Family Stone The concept with varieties Djembe drums not only represents a traditional African musical utensil but also the wide variation of cultures and history within the continent that have coexisted throughout history.

The Djembe in Africa represents the gathering of people and listening to music. DJe means Gather and be means everyone in bambara language.

bernos.com

We are currently in the testing phase the next couple of weeks so if you encounter issue please email us at info@bernos.com; and let us know.

If you order more than 2 tshirts at this time, you get free shipping.

Yes, we are developing our new site and I have been working on it on and off for about 3 months. It’s one of those things I have started working on a few times but somehow things fall apart as with any large web development project with a very small budget and time (mostly the bernos team’s). The new bernos™ site  is near a real e-commerce application on par with the large retailers and not just an open source content management system that is hastily installed.

Yesterday, as I was working on the product page and with all the things that we are going to leverage with the launch of the new site, including new bernos™ tees, bernos™ kids and as well as the many features of our application, I was thinking we should definitely educate people on the quality of the American Apparel tees.  I was thinking maybe some kind of logo badge….proudly printed on American Apparel t-shirts.

Everything about American Apparel has inspired me in many ways. The way they market their products unapologetically or their political stances on immigration like in the Legalize LA campaign (wiki), as well as their socially conscious position on manufacturing. They have the highest earning workers in the apparel industry, all the while the competition way is paying 50 cents an hour they were paying 24 times that at 12$ an hour.

All these and by the time bernos™ launched in 2006 they were the largest clothing manufacturer in the United States; and one of the only companies that exported a Made in USA apparel. As well as the largest wholesale for graphic tee designers large and small even though the wholesale cost of the t-shirt almost 4 times more than the average price of their competitors.

We get emails from customers that don’t know about American Apparel, asking as why we don’t use certain brands of tees or why we don’t do production in Ethiopia or somewhere in Africa. I casually shrug them off because I didn’t want to explain all the things I’ve mentioned above.

But yesterday, the company I invested in, yes I have some stock (not much) but nonetheless the shares fell and fell hard.   AA recently changed accounting firm and they got a federal subpoena, some kind of accounting scandal may or not may come and AA, like a lot of clothing manufacturing companies, is not turning profit these days.

AA owes a lot of money; they might also be delisted from the NYSE Amex stock exchange for not filing quarterly reports on time. But not to worry, they will survive because their market share in the industry is huge and everyone needs to get paid, even if they might end up in Bankruptcy protection. And bernos™ will continue to serve on the American Apparel brand.

I’m standing at the bar sipping my drink and chatting up with a couple of people.  My peripheral vision is disturbed and my curiosity takes over as I turn my head to focus on the disturbance.

Flashing light!

My first thought is ‘what da #$@$!’.  As I realize what just had happened, my confusion changes to irritation and then anger.

I threw my drink down my throat and started to follow.  He moves elegantly and professionally through the crowd.  He is completely inconspicuous and acts like part of the façade, the reprinted art hanging on the wall, the cheesy wall paper…  He is part of the ambiance and this is the reason of his success- un-noticeable but effective, in his natural realm and hard at work.  A fregging predator!

He pauses to shoot once more.  I reach him as he aims.  I wait until he has made the shot.

Flashing light!

I gently grab his elbows.  Firmly!  He turns smiling and expecting a familiar face.  His smile is still, although he realizes that the face is unfamiliar.  He is a professional.

“Selam”, he nods at me.  “Tadias nefese”, I respond as continue to be pushed to-and-fro by the gyrating crowd in the constant move.

I say, “Nefse, foto’yen iko satey teyekengn anesah”.  He switches to English.  “Yeah man, we are documenting our parties so that we can post the pictures on-line.  You wanna see your picture…I can take it again” he says, eying the missing button from my shirt and fidgeting with his Cannon to pull the picture of me he has just ‘documented’.  I am mad now.  I am trying hard to keep myself stoic and rational but still, I want to strangle his scrawny neck.

I inform him “dude, I don’t want my picture taken without being told that my picture is being taken.  Please delete my picture.  I don’t want my face plastered all over the internet….”—you know how the rest goes…

This is one of the few things that really get under my skin- rouge paparazzi wannabe’s (HEREAFTER known as PZ) snapping pictures of sober and not so-sober patrons trying to have a good time.  Next thing you know, your mom is calling asking when you started smoking having heard of your now public profile from Mimi’s mother, who used to be in the same equb.   (Side note: Mimi and I had a one night stand and one of us had decided to keep it at just that while the other may have had other ambitions- or at least, that’s the only reason I could think of for the change in attitude—but that’s another story.)

While I understand that there are no laws protecting unsuspecting patrons from their picture being taken by the  PZ’s, I am with the opinion that it is only common courtesy to let drunks be drunks and let  people enjoy themselves without being harassed by random flashing lights.   I would hate to see my picture on Flicker or the habesha related websites, which I will not mention here.

Especially today in the era of cloud computing where you have no idea where Google or Bank of America is storing your personal info, who’s  to say who can get to this info or how it may be used?  I admit it does sound paranoid, but I rather be safe and have no pictures of my smoking and drunk self posed on line.  That way, there is nothing to be worried about, or no skeletons in the closet to ‘admit to’ when I run for a Senate seat in 2050 – you know what I mean.

Basic etiquette, some argue is relative.  I argue the total opposite.   I will further argue that taking people’s pictures in places of entertainment without advising them beforehand does not adhere to idea of basic etiquette.  It, however, goes perfectly with the idea of Capitalism, where the goal is to make as much money as possible.  Why else would someone hire a PZ to ‘document’ his/her patrons?

Would it not to show off on some website what kind of crowd his/her party’s attract, the number of people, the length of the skirts and the depth of the cleavages?  So that when Asheber in Iowa looks at the website, he will immediately reroute his ticket to D.C for his Christmas break.  For many, this may be OK, but I, for one will b$%#@ slap the next PZ that tries to ‘document’ my charming smile!

MR/MS PZ, You have been warned!

Location: In front of 4 kilo AAU, café X, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia

Time: 9:30 PM

It was a random Thursday night. Gorgeous Addis Ababa evening weather. I can still feel the fresh breath of air on my face, my arms. I was a freshman at the University and I could not get enough of the newly acquired freedom. And I abused it profusely. I do not know how I made it through the first semester. I went out in that semester more than I can ever account for in the coming 10 years of my life.

This particular evening, my friends were supposed to pick me up at 9: 30, we were going out to one of the clubs, after having some macchiato at one of the café on bole road. We were supposed to go to 6 kilo campus to spend the night afterwards as the security was more lenient and we could use one of the windows to get into the dorm. We have done it plenty of times.

But this time around, my friends were late….I looked at my watch impatiently, and I said to Girma, “Beka ayemetum malete newe” (I guess they are not coming). Even though the club scene was not new to me I was disappointed. Girma is one of the guys that I have known since day one of my campus life. He hangs out at the café in front of 4 kilo every single evening.

He tells us he has a store in merkato. He lives in the apartment complex right by campus. I have been to his place on a couple of occasions’, following his gentle invitation to have tea. Needless to say one or two of my friends has always been there with me. He has become one of our ‘friends.’

Time is approaching dangerously 10 PM, time when the ladies dormitory will be locked. This is a time where cell phones were gadgets we only knew in the movies. I reluctantly picked my self up to start my walk towards my room. Girma stops me and tells me, u know u can always spend the night at my place if she does not show up, why don’t u wait for her a little more, I will sleep on the couch and u can have the bed.

I remember finding the idea to be very brilliant, but I insisted I could sleep on the couch. My friends were still MIA at 10:30. The café was long closed. Girma and I started our walk to his place. We took the elevator all the way to his floor and we walked into his apartment. The second we walked into his apartment, he locked the door behind us, turned around and grabbed me by my hands and started kissing me. It was as if he just could not wait for us to cross the door, and when it happened he really could not believe it. My entire being froze. I started fighting vigorously, but the fight was over even before it started. I was a scrawny teenager, just out of high school, and he was a robust man in his mid 20ies.

I fought with all the strength I had, I screamed at the top of my lungs. My fight was to no avail, my voice to no use. I felt a cold furor possessing my entire being in front of my weakness, my physical inability to protect my body. I hated being a woman for the first time of my life. I was a spectator to my own demise, loss of innocence as I could not save me from the animalistic, raw, bestial desire of a man. It is a scene engraved on my brain, man in his pure primitive state, greedy, selfish….at the mercy of his desire….no superego in action…no self control at all….

I was laid on the floor, for I do not know how long. I got up slowly, but I was not able to move far as his hands were quick to imprison me again. This time around he encountered no battle. I did not have it in me to even feign a slight resistance. I witnessed the same thing happening to me again and again. It was almost like my eyes were seeing, but my mind not registering…. my body and my brain belonging to two different entities at that particular moment. I assume now it was my minds way of coping with what was happening to me.

He was finally asleep as I snuck out of his apartment. I do not know what time it was, I realize I had lost my watch, as I reach the ground floor. I started walking and the fresh air on my face brought me up to reality. I realized I had no destination in my head, but I was walking. I saw a couple of taxis waiting for customers. I got into one and gave him my address. I paid the dues and knocked on my door.

The shock on the Zebegna’s face clearly tells me I should have been looking like a mess. “Menew Dehna ayedeleshem ende, mene honeshe”…I just had enough time to comb my hair with my fingers, when my mum’s voice came from the main door….Mane newe bezih seate bere yemiyankuwakuwaw…..I realized then, I was really not supposed to be coming home at the woo hours of the night, but I really did not care…..

Ten years later, another continent, another country, another city…..

Denver , Coloroado…

(To be continued….)

Browsing through Ethiopian pictures on Flickr, I came across the one above. I glanced at the comments section and there was a guy complaining that the ad was senseless, among other things. So I took a second look  and it really was terrible, terrible sentence.

For starters, why is the word tigist in quotes? Do they mean patience or not? If the quotes have to be on anything at all, it should be on “second” … since technically that’s not an Amharic word. But what else should they use if they mean 1/60th of a minute? LOL. Well, I believe the Amharic word for second is sEkond. Ok, ok … maybe i’m nitpicking here!

The worst offender is really the last word : ‘lemetadeg‘. Correct me if I’m wrong but for one thing, it’s not a word. At least not in Amharic. If they’re trying to say ‘to prevent the loss of life and property…’, the word they’re looking for is a variation of maged. For this case, they should say lemaged.

“ye ‘second’ tgist hiywotna nibreting ketrafic adega lemaged”

Many people mess up ‘maged‘ and say, ‘metaged‘, which is really nonsense. But the ad didn’t even use lemetaged. They flipped some consonants (or entire feedeloch in Amharic) and ended up with lemetadeg. At best, the made up word at the end of the ad is a screwed up version of lemadeg.

In other words, with faulty grammar, the ad kinda says,

‘A second’s patience, to grow the loss of life and property …’

No f*%king kidding, Shell! A bit Hama Tuma-esque.

This is from 2006. In 2010, it would of course be more appropriate for BP to sponsor this ad instead.

“ye ‘second’ tgist hiywotna nibretin ke ma’idin mawCHa adega lemetadeg”

I also just realized that I really don’t know how to say ‘mining’or ‘drilling’ in Amharic. Mts.

Report shows that Africa has 12% of the new cell phone subscribers in the world, tallying 20 million more cell phone users in first Quarter of 2010.

What’s actually more fascinating to me is that they’re saying that the continent now has close to 50% penetration; meaning that there’s a lot of growth left to be had as equates to the rest of the planet.

I don’t know much about the internet phone usage but I did hear that South Africa has a service similar to 3G of AT&T.

Also smart phones are cheaper in Africa! Or so I’ve heard!

I am always confused when someone say mobile instead of cell phone. Read this interesting article about how phones end up in Africa.

... In any cluster of mobile phone shops you find someone who offers repair services. … People then come asking if other things can be fixed, and over time there’s an increased awareness of how to fix different models.”

This guys if weird, I mean really weird and whenI saw this video I couldn’t stop laughing. I could see how this could happen.

Regardless though, I was surprised this morning when I got an email this morning claiming that “… this sums of most of your articles on Bernos.”

Which is even more funnier than the idiot on the video. I really hope you guys don’t see me or parts of my opinions that I have shared through the past few years remotely similar to this guy.

Let me know

I recently went into Sachs Fifth Avenue after work because I needed these very specific shoes, and lo and behold, I found a pair  that was reasonably priced. In Sachs Fifth Ave, I generally expect everything to be $500+, and my pair was, after a ‘sale’, around $100. So I bought it.

Keza, tedesasetkuna … I went purse shopping. I saw this beautiful purse for $300,. At first I passed it because … seriously, I wasn’t about to spend that much on a purse. Keza I happened to pass by that area again and I thought, ‘What the hell! I work hard. I can afford it. Why not?’ So picked it up, walked over to the counter and surrendered my to-be purse and card.

As the woman was processing the payment I kept thinking to myself, ‘ok , min aynet qebeT honeshal. balegae lij. Spending 300 bucks  is ok, even for enjoyment, but 300 bucks for a purse? One that’ll be used 3 times a year? balegae, molqaqa, balegae, molqaqa …‘ iyalku irasen siqoTa, the lady leaned over the counter and whispered, ‘your card has been declined’.

I was looking at her like she’s crazy, because technically that was my debit card, which also has a credit line, and even the cash balance on it was many folds the price of that overpriced purse. I asked, if she was sure. She gently and quietly whispered back, ‘i tried it multiple times’. She looked so sympathetic and embarrassed for me.

Saqe meTa. I figured there must be a God, and he must be intervening. I grabbed my card back with a broad smile and bolted.

So then I called my bank to ask WTF. The customer rep said, ‘yeah, we put a hold on your card because we noticed a purchasing trend that was very different from your regular shopping habits’. LOL.

Apparently my shopping trend says shopping at Sachs Fifth Ave and/or $100 dress shoe is a lil’ too much for my qonTari style.

Temesgen, consumer-tendes-analizing-algorithm hoy. Temesgen!