Touchstone ‘P’ is for priority. Yes, the P word. We may think we do or don’t have priorities. We do. Our priority is what we choose to do instead of something else. We may think we don’t have a choice, but we always do. We can either do it or not.

Think about it. We have to get the kids out of bed, we have to make breakfast, we have to drive the kids to school or daycare, we have to pick up the laundry, we have to, we have to, we have to. There’s that phrase again ‘have to’. Truth is, these may be our responsibilities, but we don’t have to do them. There are plenty of parents out there that don’t bother. Just look at the kids running the streets. The point is, these are our priorities – the things we deem most important to be accomplished.

I am sure you all have heard the example of the jar. Fill the jar up with big stones, is it full? Pour in beads over the stones to fill it up. Is it full yet? Now pour in sand over the stones and beads, again filling it up. Is it full yet? It is? Now take water and pour it in. Finally we can say it is truly filled up.

What we need to do is to decide what the most vital things in our lives are. Make a list of all the things you ‘have’ to do in your life. Now make a list of the things you ‘want’ to do. It’s OK to have the same things on each list, although there are bound to be some that make one list and not the other. These are the big stones in the jar. The beads and sand are the other things that fill up our lives, and the water is the room, or time, left.

Have you ever wanted something so much you could almost ‘taste’ it? I wanted to travel home to see my mother (a 17 hour drive). I didn’t have the money nor the time off work. Guess what? I found the time and the money. I wanted a new vehicle – I found the reasons and the financing to get one. What we really want, we find a way to do it.

What if someone you loved was in an accident or was hospitalized, you would find the time and resources to do whatever you could to help them. Wouldn’t you? If you are overweight, your health is at risk – you are at risk. Are you going to put yourself as a priority? If you were in an airplane and the oxygen masks dropped down do you remember what you are to do? You are to put your mask on FIRST before taking care of anyone else. If you don’t, you may pass out before you are able to help anyone else. Think of your health like that. If you don’t stay healthy, how are you going to accomplish all of those priorities in your life?

Now remember: You are worth it, you deserve it, and you are going to become a healthier, happier you.

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Our ‘L’ touchstone is for language.  One of the stumbling blocks to our success in changing our lifestyle and habits is the language, or word choices, we use when talking and thinking about ourselves and our lifestyle changes.  These are the two areas I want to discuss.

If you have been reading my posts, you know I keep bringing up to be kind to yourself.  Most of us have heard or witnessed someone being beaten down by the words of another.  Sadly, we tend to be even harder on ourselves.

What names do you call yourself?  Fatso, loser, dumb, stupid, unworthy, unable, etc.  Or do you call yourself a victor, a winner, deserving, smart, persistent?  Do you tell yourself you can never get fit or slimmer?  Or do you honestly believe that you can achieve your goal and change?

Remember touchstone ‘I’?  If our self-image is bad, it is very hard to succeed.  In fact, we work very hard at proving that we can’t.  Don’t we have enough to deal with in this world without beating ourselves up?

I want you to write down some affirmations that you can post all over the house, your room, your car, your work, or wherever you spend a lot of time.  Write down things like “I can do it”, “I am not perfect, but I am getting there”,  “I am a caring person”, etc.  Be sure to include this one:  “I deserve to be a healthier, slimmer me”.  You will be surprised how that one helps when you are tempted to eat off plan or don’t want to do your exercise.

Let’s go on to the way you think about your diet program. Do you think of it as something you ‘have’ to do because it is expected of you?  Do you talk about how you ’should’ do this or that?  Or even ’shouldn’t’ do this or that.  How about the ‘can’t’ word? or the phrase ‘I don’t have time’?  Do you think - it would be nice if I could obtain my goal, but that’s impossible or improbable?

Instead, why don’t do this:

Change: “I should go for a walk today”

To: “I choose to go for a walk today because it makes me feel energized, less stressed, and good about myself”.

NOTE:  Always give 2 or 3 positive reasons why you choose it.

Change: “I don’t have time to prepare my snacks”

To: “I am going to switch my schedule around to have time to prepare my snacks and meals because I deserve to take care of myself, I deserve to succeed in my program, and it helps to eat on program when I have something I can eat ready”.

Change: “I can’t eat right this weekend because I have to go on a trip”

To: “I choose to find a way to stay on my eating program and go on the trip.  I will eat salads with low fat dressings; take snacks with me, etc.  I will plan ahead how to deal with the obstacles the trip makes in my eating program”.

Change: “It would be nice if I could obtain my goal, but that’s impossible or improbable?”

To: “I will achieve my goal because I deserve to be a happier, healthier, slimmer me AND because I choose to”.

Do you notice that when you use should and have to, that makes the changes you are trying to make an obligation.  When you use choose and will, then it makes it your choice.  Again, see touchstone ‘C’ Choices.

As with all habits, the change in your language will not come overnight.  You have to consciously change the word whenever you use it to a positive word.  As your language changes, so will your thinking.  As your thinking about yourself and your eating program changes, it becomes easier to change your eating and activity habits.  You are on the road to success!

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‘E’ is for exercise.  That’s not much of a surprise, is it?  We all have heard, at least in the US, about how our lifestyles have limited the physical activities in our every day lives.

Eating right and exercise is necessary to lose weight and to succeed in reaching our goal and maintaining our goal - which should be a healthy relationship with food and a healthy, more fit body.

Activity is a must. 10,000 steps a day should be your goal if your main activity is walking (cardio). That is total steps from the time you get up to the time you go to bed. If you get a good pedometer, you would be surprised how many steps you take. Also, you need 30 minutes a day of ‘activity’ such as walking or exercise. This can be done in 10 minutes segments to start, but should gradually blend into one 30 minute session.

Yoga is another form of exercise.  The stretching and ‘meditation’ relaxes your muscles and body.  It also relieves stress.  It strengthens your muscles and increases your flexibility.   The Power yoga has evolved for burning calories.  It is a flowing moving from one Yoga stance to another.  There is no way one can do Power Yoga without firming up and toning up.

Do you every have trouble getting your exercise in?  You realize that a couple days have gone by - you missed going for that walk or getting to the gym, or turning on that low impact ‘Sweating to the Oldies”?

This is where the ‘C’ touchstone affects the ‘E’ touchstone.  You have the choice, to exercise (increase your activity) or not to exercise.  It is my CHOICE - and it is your CHOICE.

Here are some reasons to exercise

1.        Be healthy

2.       Be more energetic

3.       Be more relaxed

4.       Be more fit

5.       Lose those extra pounds

6.       Be able to play with my grandchildren without getting winded

7.       Be please with my looks when I am in front of a mirror

8.       Have my clothes fit

9.       Have more self-confidence

10.     Be able to tie my shoes without going through contortions

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Touchstone ‘H’ - Health.

Let’s review the health benefits that come from losing extra weight.

1. Obesity is the second leading cause of preventable death.
2. Being overweight can lead to

a. Heart problems (high blood pressure, strokes, heart attacks, etc)
b. Diabetes
c. Arthritis
d. Gout
e. Asthma
f. Cancer (some types of)

If you lose even 10% of your weight, or even 10 pounds, your risk of having high blood pressure and high cholesterol is lessened. The loss of weight plus increased activity lessons the risk of diabetes.

Loss of health means limitations on your lifestyle, limitations on your food choices.  It could mean pills, walker, wheelchair, braces, nursing home.  It means that you cannot be the YOU you want to be.  It could even mean that you are no more.  If you have children or grand-children, you may not be able to enjoy being with them, playing with them, helping them.  If you leave this earth prematurely, you won’t be there to give them good memories, share your wisdom, give them guidance, lift them up.  See?  Your loss of health affects more than just you.

So, when you look at or touch the ‘H’ - remember your health is one of your priorities.  And when you need motivation, remember your ‘H’

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Our next touchstone is ‘C’ - choices.  I went into Choices at great lengths in another post.  Since I believe this is an important concept, I am going to use that post again here.

Diet (noun) means the usual food and drink of a person or animal.   That is what diet is.  Now, we have modified it to also mean a regulated selection of foods, as for medical reasons or cosmetic weight loss. Whether you pick the first definition or the second, your Diet is formed by the CHOICES you make.

In going through your day, you first chose to when eat.  Then you will choose what to eat and how it will be cooked, and lastly you choose how much to eat, usually while you are eating.  You choose to stop eating when your plate is empty, when you get full, when your second plateful is empty, etc, etc, etc.

You are quite happily skipping along down the road of life when you come to a bump in the road.  Maybe you look in the mirror, or you have a health problem, or you can’t play with the kids like you used to.  Whatever it was, you make the choice to lose weight.

What is the first thing you do?  In going through your day, you first choose to when eat.  Then you will choose what to eat and how it will be cooked, and lastly you choose how much to eat.  See the pattern???  Our DIET is more about the CHOICES we make, rather more than the food we eat.  The food we eat depends on our choices.

The choice of what diet we will follow should come after studying the types of diet plans available.

1. There are fad diets which are supposed to act quickly, but are to be used for a short period of time.  And usually the weight you lost comes back plus more after you quit.
2. There are pills supposed to make the weight melt off our bodies, again monitored by doctors so you don’t develop the bad side effects.
3. There are balanced diets which avoid too much of certain aspects - such as fats, sugars, and starches - aimed at continued weight loss.

I choose the third group.  Since I have a hard time with ‘portion control’ - which simply means don’t eat too much - I choose a plan that decides the portions for me.  Further, I find that I don’t like to measure and count, so I choose a plan that puts the meal together for me.  And I am more likely to eat outside the plan when I am hungry and have to wait for my food, so I choose a plan with a meal ready to go into the microwave.  All of these are my choices, no one is telling me what to do.

When you choose your diet plan, and decide what day to start it, you have made your decision.  Anytime after that point in time you set for yourself, you decision of whether to follow that diet plan or not is already made.  You don’t have to make it every day.  Whenever you ask yourself if you can take a rest or binge or whatever, remind yourself that the decision has already been made.

Does this mean you can never eat anything off your diet plan?  No, what is means that if you choose to eat that marvelous pie that Aunt Dotty makes, it is your choice.  Is it wrong or bad to choose to eat the pie?  Neither.  It is simply a choice.  You can choose to do what will help you along your path to your goal or losing weight or you can choose to do what will turn you around to go the other way for however long you chose to travel that way.  You can choose to eat a small piece in moderation, or the whole pie.  And you choose to stick strictly to your diet for a couple days to offset the deviance, or to up your activity to compensate for the pie choice.  And your next choice will be - return to your choice to lose weight, or give up.  That is another CHOICE - you don’t have to quit the diet plan just because you had a piece of pie.

You have made your diet choice - you have another choice to make.  You have to decide whether you are going to up your physical activity, knowing that to lose weight everyone has to up their physical activity.  In my case, I don’t feel I have a choice of whether to up my activity or not - I don’t lose weight unless I also up my activity.  I do, however, have to choose what type of activity, when I will do the activity, and to what extent.

Now remember - there are no GOOD or BAD CHOICES, but there are choices that will help you reach your goal, and there are other choices which will turn you in another direction.  It is up to you, it is your choice:

Be the Weight You Want - and Stay There (or not).

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Today’s touchstone is ‘I‘.  This is the one where you have to change your way of thinking about yourself and about your eating program. So lets call ‘I’ image short for Self-Image.

What is your image of yourself?  Do you feel like you are a failure?  Do you feel like you cannot do anything right? Or tell yourself that even if you feel you can?  Do you feel undeserving or unappreciated or unwanted?

I am here to tell you - you were made to be healthy and fit - therefore you deserve to be healthy and fit.

Who benefits if you become more healthy and fit? YOU.  Who pays the penalty if you don’t?  Again, the answer is YOU.  So you have to start your journey for YOU, not anyone else.  If you are overweight, you can become healthier by losing just 10% of your body weight.  Check out the post Why Should Baby Boomers Lose Weight.  There are a multitude of health conditions you can avoid or delay just by losing 10% of your body weight.  This is motivation you can hang on to, no matter how you feel about yourself.

Let’s look at a person, Sally, as ‘ME’ ‘MYSELF’ and ‘I’.   Let’s say ‘I’ is the standard keeper.  ‘I’ watches to see that  ‘ME’ does everything ‘right’.  ‘I’ will tell ‘ME’ every time something happens that it is  ‘ME’s’ fault.  ‘I’ will tell  ‘ME’ that ‘ME’ is lazy, dumb, ugly, clumsy, and responsible for everything.   ‘I’ will badger and bad mouth ‘ME’ at any given moment because ‘ME’ is not perfect.  Poor ‘ME’ is beaten down and sad.   ‘ME’ is depressed.  ‘ME’ is rebellious because  ‘ME’ does not believe  ‘ME’ is a bad person.   ‘ME’ feels that  ‘ME’ deserves good and deserves rewards once in a while.

In the diet, ‘I’ says: ‘ME’ - Sally can’t eat that apple pie Sally loves, never ever.   ‘ME’ sits and wants that apple pie.  ‘ME’ tries to be good, but keeps thinking about that apple pie.  Finally ‘ME’ thinks - I don’t care what ‘I’ says, I want that apple pie and I am going to eat it.  And ‘ME’ does - the whole pie.

In comes ‘MYSELF’ .  Have ‘MYSELF’ mediate between ‘I’ and  ‘ME’ .  Let ‘MYSELF’ tell ‘I’ and  ‘ME’ that they are really both wanting the best for Sally.  They are just at odds.  Get ‘I’ to realize that ‘I’ is hurting Sally when ‘I’ badgers ‘ME’ and that ‘I’ needs to be nice to ‘ME’.  Get ‘ME’ to see that ‘I’ only wants what is best for Sally, just like ‘ME’ does.  Have ‘MYSELF’ convince ‘I’ and ‘ME’ to work as a team, building each other up, not fighting.  ‘MYSELF’ can get ‘ME’ and ‘I’ to compromise, to let Sally eat a small piece of apple pie - maybe have Sally do 10 minutes more on her aerobics that day to offset it.

Bottom lines, ladies be kind to yourself, give yourself a break, and always remember (and remind yourself at least once a day):

“I DESERVE TO BE A SLIMMER, HEALTHIER ME.”

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The touchstone for today is ‘G’ - goals.  This touchstone is to remind you not only of your ultimate goal, and the reasons for the goal, but also for your more immediate goals. To this end, I encourage you to set up a chart to trace your performance daily:

1. Staying on your eating program
2. Activity for the day - type, time, and count (if applicable)
3. Thoughts, feeling, frustrations in a journal type entry
4. Your goal for the week and motivation for the week.

In the ‘M’ touchstone I mentioned having a list of what you were going to eat for the day.  This performance record can be kept at the bottom of you list.  As you line out the foods you eat, you can enter the thoughts you have and the activities you do.  Also very important is to put foods you eat outside the program and why you ate them - we will get into why later with the ‘C’ touchstone.

Let’s get back to talking about Goals.  Your ultimate goal will be the weight you determined to be your goal.  Hopefully you made this an obtainable goal.  You can always lower it when you near the first goal.  So, say you are 220 lbs and think you should be 115 pounds.  There is nothing wrong in making 150 pounds your goal, and then deciding to go to 130 pounds, then again lowering it to 120 pounds, etc.  That way, if you feel good at 150 pounds - good, you are there.  But if you want to try to go further, you can.

Although we think about the goal as being pounds lost, there are other goals we have.

1. Become healthier
2. Become fitter
3. Become stronger

Don’t lose sight of these goals.  They are the ones which will keep your motivation up.

While time goals are OK - they tend to put demands on us, stressing us out when we don’t meet them, depressing us and encouraging us to give up.  For those reasons, I don’t recommend setting time goals.  I had one year in my mind as the length of time it should take me.  Watch that ‘should’ word.  We will talk about it again in the ‘I’ and ‘L’ touchstones.  I have reached the one year, but not the goal.  So I have to shrug off the time limit and determine to continue - because I deserve to be a slimmer, healthier me.

Each week we need to go over our progress, do the weigh-in (around the same time of day each time) and once a month do our measurements.  Remember, if we lose 10% if our initial body weight, our health is better.  See this post about measurements and tracking table.

As we contemplate the past week, we can see what patterns evolve.  If we ate extra foods, we see what types and what was happening - a special event, an emotional time of loneliness or sadness, a stressful time.  Then we can determine if this was a choice we made, or if it was a situation we could deal with in a different way.  Such as loneliness - maybe call a friend or family member - walk over to the neighbors to say HI - talk a long walk and enjoy the outside - even take a bath by candlelight.  Then the next time it comes up, we have alternatives to eating.

Check to see if you drank your water, stayed within the program eating, choose healthy snacks, did our activity.  Think about the next week.  Write down what your motivation will be this week.  Then write a goal for that week.  For example, you find that you walked an average of 7000 steps per day (10,000 steps a day is the standard).  Make a goal to up that average by 200 or more steps a day.  A good pedometer will track your steps each day and even keep 7 days worth of data for you.

One of the most important factors is - do not put yourself down for missing your goal.  Instead, look for the things you did ‘correctly’ and give yourself a pat on the back, like you remembered to write everything down or your off plan eating diminished.  Nothing will be gained by being hard on yourself - actually, it could push you into giving up.  The only way you won’t reach the ultimate goal is if you give up.

Keep reminding yourself ‘I deserve to be a slimmer, healthier me”.

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Don’t you wish you had a fairy godmother to give you some MAGIC HELP with your weight program?  We all do.  So I am here to give you some MAGIC HELP.

No, it is not a pill.  Not a liquid.  It is, in fact, the touchstones I wrote about a few days ago.

Go to the craft store and buy some elastic to make a bracelet out of.  Then get the alphabet beads that spell out M A G I C  H E L P.  Get whatever other beads you want to put between and around the bracelet in whatever color you want.  Making the bracelet long enough to be comfortable around your wrist, put a small bead between each letter, with 2 or 3 between the C and H to separate the words.  Fill the rest of the bracelet up with the rest of the beads.  Or, make a tassel type string for your key ring using the same letters.  Or just carry the string of letters in your pocket.

Each of these letters is a touchstone which stands for a principal or standard.  Looking at and/or touching the bead is to remind us of important principals that will help us reach our goals.  So, let’s talk about the touchstones.

M - Meal plan.  Remember you have a plan for your eating today.  You have a breakfast, a lunch, and a supper.  You have two snacks and a desert.  You are going to spread these out throughout the day, eating smaller portions every three hours.  You are going to have something for breakfast within 30 minutes of getting up.  It may be a non-fat yogurt, a fruit, a cup of skim milk (or small fat free, sugar free latte), or an actual breakfast meal.  You have spent time choosing what you will have today and have a list in your pocket or purse to check off each item.  And, if you should feel the need to have an extra snack, you will choose one of the free foods such as raw carrots, cucumber, summer squash, or other raw non starchy veggie.  You will make sure you have the liquids you need including water and non-sugar drinks (limit dairy milk to two cups a day).

A - Awareness.  One of the biggest habits I have and I know a lot of people have is rushing through the day getting everything done.  I tend to eat while driving, watching TV, working at the computer (which I do at work, then again in the evening on the internet), etc.  I seem to always be multi-tasking.  What we need to do is to do eating, and everything we do, consciously - being aware of what we are doing.  When you eat, take the time to chew your food.  Feel the texture, enjoy the taste, and be aware of what your body is feeling as you eat.  Notice your hunger being satisfied.  If you are not aware of eating, you won’t remember eating, and your mind will tell you that you should be hungry.

There are many times I get something to eat, sit down to the computer, take a bite, work on the computer, and then reach for another bite.  The food is gone.  I ate the whole meal or snack thinking about the computer or internet instead of my food.  It leaves me wanting some more.  On the other hand, if I sat and ate the same food, conscious of the eating experience, I am satisfied.

Another facet of awareness is being able to distinguish what your body and mind really want when you feel ‘hungry’.  Are you hungry, thirsty, sad, stressed, nervous, lonely, just what is it that you really want?  Lots of ‘diets’ say only eat when you are hungry.  That is a good rule, but you need to first realize when you body is hungry versus using food to satisfy other ‘hungers’, usually emotional.

That’s enough for today.  We will tackle the other touchstones in later posts.

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The dictionary says a touchstone is a black siliceous stone related to flint and formerly used to test the purity of gold and silver by the streak left on the stone when rubbed by the metal.  Another source says it is  a black siliceous stone used to ascertain the purity of gold and silver. Assaying by “touch” was one of the earliest methods employed to assess the quality of precious metals.   Yet another source says it is a yardstick or an informal substitute for criterion and that a touchstone suggests a simple test of the authenticity or value of something intangible.

One thing common to all the articles I read, the touchstone evolved into a smooth polished stone, either a gem or regular pebble, in the shape of a flat oval, usually carried in one’s pocket.  The touchstone is used as a reminder of something that indicates a standard or criteria.

How do touchstones pertain to weight loss?

I will start the answer to this with another question:  Why do you deviate from your eating program or diet?

For me it is forgetting that I am on an eating program (or diet), that I have a goal to lose weight and become healthier.  It is forgetting that I desire to reach my goal.  It is forgetting to pay attention to what I eat while I am eating it.

I have four touchstones that I have to carry in my pocket.  I will tell you about one of them today.  This one is to remind me (and make me accountable to myself to live up to):

• I deserve to be healthier and slimmer.
• My weight loss and exercise to better health is my priority.
• If I don’t take care of myself first, I can’t take care of others.
• If I were at the bottom of a swimming pool, I wouldn’t stop half way up for a ‘rest’, I would struggle up to the surface to get a breath (obtain my goal).

Would this help you obtain your goal?  You can use any small object as a touchstone - a cat’s eye marble perhaps, a different color for each touchstone.  Or name the touchstone - maybe priorities.  There is a site online where you can order touchstones engraved with whatever word you wish.  Or find a smooth stone and write a letter on the stone with a permanent marker (”P” for priorities).

What other touchstones would help you?  Remember, it is a standard (make it a positive standard) to help you make choices which help you reach your goal.

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In the midst of all this, I did not backup my files using wordpress, so I am not able to import the content and comments.  I will be manually re-creating the posts and as many of the comments as I can.  I feel that your comments added so much to the purpose of this blog.

Thanks for sticking with me.  I will be adding fresh content soon.

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