Bettie Magazine

Film Review: Coraline

noreply@blogger.com (Bettie) — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 14:00:00 +0000

We've got our eyes on this fantasy world. And, by golly, we're keeping them.

Director: Henry Selick
Studio: Focus Features
Rating: Marry

Last night, we saw Coraline and were downright floored we didn't have nightmares. This tale, spun by Sandman's creator Neil Gaiman, centers around Coraline, a fearless girl who travels down the proverbial rabbit hole and discovers a similar, but alternate, world where everything is happier, brighter, and better. Except for the part where everyone has buttons for eyes and maybe, just maybe, things aren't exactly what they seem.

Rad: With the help of Henry Selick (the stop motion animation genius behind The Nightmare Before Christmas), Gaiman's children's tale is brought to life in eye-popping detail. We're all for perfectly-executed CGI, but, because it's the norm these days, electing to create Coraline's world (including the brilliant garden, the frightening mother, and the winged Scottie Dogs) by hand feels more impressive and inspired. If the 3D version is playing near you, don't even consider seeing it in 2D.

Sad: We have to wait until next year to see Selick and production company Laika's new film Here Be Monsters. Hmph.

Want: This box created by the same brilliant hands who built the creatures of Coraline.

Well, Somebody Had to Represent Those Whores!

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer B) — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 01:55:00 +0000

If you're like us (you know, easily amused) then these easily mispronounced domain names are worth a look. Penisland.net? Ok, that one is too easy. But what about Therapistfinder.com or Expertsexchange.com? Our personal fave is Powergenitalia.com that, when read too fast, reminds us of the cocky, clueless boys from our college days. At least these dudes are Italian.

7 Sinful Glasses to Toast With

noreply@blogger.com (Bettie) — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 16:34:00 +0000

Spending the holidays with the family is great and all, but eventually, you'll want to make a run for it. Usually we bolt when our mother starts criticizing our choice in men — in front of our boyfriend.

If you can't get away to call your therapist or take your sister's latest sports car out for a spin, then at least delight/horrify your family members with these peculiar wine glasses from Hamilton Design.

Inspired by the seven deadly sins, you can hand them out to whichever family members you think they best fit. Unless your family should be on Jerry Springer, in which case, keep Wrath (i.e. the one sharp enough to puncture an organ) in the box.

Guy + Pet = Super Boyfriend?

noreply@blogger.com (Bettie) — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 16:32:00 +0000

Want a great lover? Look to their pet for clues on how giving he'll be in bed.

A guy's pet — be it cat, dog, or gerbil — says something about him (one of those says he's Richard Gere). Check out our handy chart to see if you're on a date with Dr. Doom or Mr. Fantastic.

The Cat

Cats have traditionally been connected most to women and shunned by men, but recently, men have started accepting feline friends into their life. So what does this mean for you? As long as he isn't the male version of the crazy cat lady, he's likely to be sweet (but moody), appreciate independence, and won't have a hard time getting your motor to purr in the bedroom.
See: The Spirit

The Dog
Man's best friend. Dogs are obedient, loyal, and cunning when it comes to getting what they want: food. The same goes for their owners who tend to be sport-watching, beer-pong playing, frat guy types. Ok, so we're generalizing a bit. Even so, dog lovers are reliably easy to get in the sack and have boundless energy. However...if you want to be pleasured, you've got to convince him there's something in it for him. Like Snausages!
See: Superman

The Monkey
Those who fall under the year of the Monkey are supposed to be intelligent, but be wary of guys who wears one on his shoulder. Though he'll get off on making you smile, he's also likely to be an attention whore who loses interest when he realizes your life doesn't revolve around him.
See: SpaceGhost

The Aquatic Variety
Fish are cute. And boring. We hope you like the missionary position, because that's all you're going to be getting.
See: Aquaman

No pets
Sometimes people just don't have time for pets. They work long hours, live in places that don't allow them, or they're just not "animal people." We respect their choices and all, but just don't expect them to rearrange their schedule to make time for you or have endless amounts of compassion. Unless they're allergic. Then offer them a Claritin.
See: Iron Man

Film Review: The Spirit

noreply@blogger.com (Bettie) — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 16:31:00 +0000

This wasn't the Ghost of Christmas Past we were expecting, but at least he brought egg nog.
by Emmy Burns

Director: Frank Miller
Studio: Lionsgate
Rating: Shag

If you’re looking for a good date movie this season, The Spirit delivers the ultimate win-win situation. Plenty of eye candy for both you and your boy toy, badass women to cheer for, and best of all, no cheesy love scenes starring Jennifer Aniston.

Frank Miller continues in his quest to bring respectable comics (this one based on the stories of Will Eisner) to the silver screen in the way only he could — cue wild costume changes, fabulous makeup and the uber-stylized backdrops courtesy of a green screen — and this adaptation also marks his solo directorial debut.

The story follows the Spirit/Denny Colt (Gabriel Macht), who, after being shot to death one night on duty, is reborn as a crime-fighting superhero (and heartthrob) who sports a Zorro-style mask and Converse kicks. Finally, we have a superhero who takes fashion cues from My Chemical Romance and gets more ass than a back of a taxi cab.

But the Spirit's major problem isn't a potential STD. It's that his childhood love, Sand Serif (Eva Mendes), has grown up to be a seductive, powerful, jewelery thief and shares a special connection with his nemesis the Octopus (Samuel L. Jackson).

Rad: A whole lineup of strong, powerful roles for women. Eva Mendes's perfect delivery of ballsy lines made us (nearly) forget the atrocious Ghost Rider. Scarlett Johansson as Silken Floss, the cunning, brilliant assistant to the Octopus and his imbecile henchmen clones. Note: send your boyfriend to fetch popcorn during her laboratory scene unless you want a puddle of drool by your feet.

Sad: Hokey lines and Macht's use of a strange, Batman-like monotone in narration sequences.

In Five Words: We want this holiday Spirit.

The Cast of The Spirit Speaks!

noreply@blogger.com (Bettie) — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 16:30:00 +0000

The stars of The Spirit talk about stylish costuming, being broads, and getting a little too into your character.
by Emmy Burns

Recently, Bettie crashed the Waldorf-Astoria press conference for Frank Miller's new film The Spirit and cornered Samuel L. Jackson, Scarlett Johansson, Sarah Paulson, Eva Mendes, and the movie's star, Gabriel Macht to get their answers on everything important. You know, like makeup!

Scarlett, have you ever had a boss as frustrating as The Octopus?
Scarlett Johansson: Well, I’ve never done anything other than be an actress. I’m afraid if I do answer that question I’ll be you know, blacklisted —

Samuel L. Jackson: That’s right, because they will go through your resume to see who you’re talking about!

Gabe, The Spirit has a bit of an identity crisis when it comes to figuring out what he is. How did you tap into that?
Gabriel Macht: He’s a young cop who’s killed in the line of duty and got brought back to life eight hours later. He wanders the streets to figure out who he is because he could do things that other cops can’t. He doesn’t know why he’s like that. I think the real essence of who he is, is this man who has innate goodness and wants to return that goodness to the city. So when he hears the city screaming, he wants to squash the evil that exists and bring humanity back.

Jackson: When you see the “making-of” DVD of this particular movie there’s a segment when they’re interviewing Gabriel in his trailer...his walls are papered with The Spirit. I mean, everywhere...not just photos of himself! The comics, Frank’s drawings...drawings he made of himself! His trailer was covered with Spirit paraphernalia! He was dealing with his identity crisis...all the time!

Frank Miller: And he slept with the mask on! It was really sad!

Goodness! Well, beyond the over-the-top method acting...we thought some of the costumes and makeup choices were really unusual.
Miller: I worked hard on Gabe’s costume because at first it looked really foolish until we spruced him up with the black outfit and everything.

Jackson: Scarlett and I shared a make-up trailer. I’d look at her like, man, there’s some beautiful eyeshadow colors going on...I should try some of that! So I got my makeup artist to start experimenting with eyeshadow. I would put it on and run to Frank and he’d go, I love it! So from that point on it was just a matter of me doing as much as I could to myself.

Eva Mendes: The fun part for me was definitely putting on the glamor. The core of this woman was pain of not having anything be stable in her life. A diamond is actually a "rock" and rocks symbolize stability. Once I found that foundation, it made me realize where she was coming from. So I could go as ridiculous as I wanted to be in hairstyle or action or wardrobe, as long as I was rooted in this need to fill that void. The film takes place in one of my favorite periods — when women were broads and weren’t afraid to speak their minds.

Sarah Paulson: The thing I liked about the part was there wasn't a single woman in this movie who was a damsel in distress. There wasn’t a single woman in this movie who wasn’t a strong woman.

Hot Guy of the Week: Gabriel Macht

noreply@blogger.com (Bettie) — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 16:25:00 +0000

Is this what they meant by Mach 10?

This week, Gabriel Macht will appear onscreen once again with the curvy Scarlett Johannson (their first meeting was in A Love Song for Bobby Long also known as the only film we've ever thrown up in the middle of) in Frank Miller's super-stylized comic adaptation of Will Eisner's The Spirit.

Though this 36-year-old Bronx native is a family man in real life — complete with wife and kids, as Denny Colt/The Spirit, he can't help but captivate every XX that struts by with his stunning physique. Even when he falters in Miller's spectacular world, there's hardly a woman who hasn't swooned just a bit.

Coming up: He'll be starring in the comic book adaptation Whiteout alongside Kate Beckinsale. And you know what happened last time Beckinsale starred in a comic film. Her and her costar got naked. Fingers crossed!

Barbie Gets What Was Coming To Her

noreply@blogger.com (Bettie) — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 21:53:00 +0000

We're not big on women being eaten, dissected, or worse, but if the woman is Barbie, we'll make an exception. This blonde plastic surgery princess may have not made us doubt our figure since 39"/19"/39" is just freakish, but she did make us doubt our fashion sense and that's just unforgivable. And, we'd like to thank her boyfriend Ken for the awkward conversation that followed the first time we put our hand down a guy's pants.

So, in honor of Barbie's misdeeds, check out the work of Tom Forsythe, a photographer who became a champion for the right of free speech after Mattel sued him in regards to his "Food Chain Barbie" project. It's the one pictured above that exhibits her going buh-bye in all sorts of ways.

Effing Adorable.

noreply@blogger.com (Bettie) — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 20:20:00 +0000

Hot Guy of the Week: Pete Wentz

noreply@blogger.com (Bettie) — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 23:57:00 +0000

We love men who love their wives, and even though we wish Pete Wentz would start loving us instead, he's still our hot guy this week. The Fall Out Boy toy has a unique romantic flair (how many grooms-to-be would throw an Alice in Wonderland themed wedding?) and a skinny-jean emo physique. But mostly we just want to jump him because he lays down sick bass tracks and runs a label (DecayDance) that's home to Gym Class Heroes, The Hush Sound, Cobra Starship, and Panic at the Disco. So, if we break up...options!
Other projects: Wentz owns the New York/Chicago/Barcelona bar Angels & Kings and Clandenstine Industries, is a producer for Bartskull Films, a TV host for FNMTV, acted in his friend's film Goodnight Moon (see video below), and cannot be killed with conventional weapons.

Recent quote starring his wife Ashlee Simpson: "We have an amazing sex life. We have such sexual chemistry. If we had been on this show last year, we'd probably be doing it in the green room right now." - From The Howard Stern Show

Catch him: On Fall Out Boy's latest album, Folie à Deux, released this week with cameos from Elvis Costello, Debbie Harry, and Lil Wayne!

Photo Contest!

noreply@blogger.com (Bettie) — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 23:09:00 +0000

Do you have a sweater that makes someone want to hurl holiday cheer at you? Or have you seen someone in such a sweater recently?

Post your photos to our Flickr account and we'll share our faves!

Glow Graffiti: Painting with UV Light

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer B) — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:17:00 +0000

Remember how last night, when you were tagging your latest masterpiece on that abandoned factory in town, and you got spray paint all over your fingers, and then you were chased by the cops for defacing public property? Or was that the title sequence for The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air?

Either way SUCK UK has come up with a genius new idea: UV light-powered Glow Graffiti cans that let you paint with light. When darkness falls, get to work creating legal fluorescent mischief. Or just regular mischief. Really, the choice is up to you.

Last Minute Gift! Target Socks

noreply@blogger.com (Bettie) — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 19:27:00 +0000

We need help. We've got a bad addiction to the whimsical socks that Target sells just before each holiday from just $3-$7! Just this weekend we were shopping for useful items when we were drawn to the sock aisle and had to purchase not one pair, but four pairs of irresistible socks.

This year, they've got socks with snowflakes, socks with penguins, socks with snowmen, and finally, plenty of argyle socks to choose from. If you're feeling really in the holiday spirit, there are even ones topped with white faux fur to give you that Ms. Claus feeling. Yes, we bought those too. And, since most of the foot warmers are knee high, they'll make you feel super sexy no matter how many tins of cookies you've already eaten.

Oh, and don't even get us started on the holiday underwear...

Madonna: Now In Bite Size Format!

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer B) — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 15:20:00 +0000

Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a Lego Celebrity? Madonna, Amy Winehouse, Brad and Angelina, Posh and Becks. What do they all have in common? No, it's not the same strain of herpes. They've all been made into Lego people!

We're disappointed to see Amy Winehouse sans Lego bottle and Lego Blake Civil-Fielder, but at least Angelina looks a little more zaftig in tiny toy form. But whatever your take, if these were for sale they'd still make the perfect stocking stuffer for that gossip-obsessed friend of yours.

Karl Lagerfeld Bear: Not Intended for Small Children

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer B) — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 15:17:00 +0000

If you've ever wanted to have a Karl Lagerfeld of your very own, now is your chance! Karl has been shrunken, stuffed and dressed in his latest designer duds — including a Swarovski® crystal-encrusted silken tie and belt buckle. Whoa!

Less than 2,500 of these snuggly little buggers have been created, so if the $1,500 price tag on it doesn't scare you off, get yourself to Neiman Marcus and get one for yourself, your girlfriend or your best friend. It's the perfect Christmas gift for that fashion-conscious person in your life.

It's Show Time! An Interview with Lenka

noreply@blogger.com (Bettie) — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 01:08:00 +0000

Australia, you are a country of contradictions. On one hand, your primitive culture of expat thieves and cattle molesters gave us Crocodile Dundee, Fosters, and AC/DC. On the other hand, you guys eat Vegemite. But pop sensation Lenka has made us come around to your barbecued shrimp and Mad Max Thunderdomes. If you’ve heard her self-titled debut album, you probably think this ingenue is terribly sweet and off floating on her own little love cloud somewhere with her friend Sia. Well, that’s partially true, but this former member of the indie band Decoder Ring also has a dark side. She co-wrote the track “Wrote Me Out” with AFI’s Hunter (to be released at some yet unforeseen date). See she's...mildly dangerous!

The first time we saw you perform you had just joined a new band. How’s that going now?
Before, I just played with whomever I could. I hadn’t been in the same place for long enough to harness musicians. Now, I’ve got a band and we all really like each other and we’re going to be spending a lot of time together, so I’m excited.

In that case, they better be awesome.
[Laughs] Yeah. They better have good personalities, they better be hot, and they better be able to play well.

The hot part is definitely important, though we doubt it helps with stage fright. Do you still get scared?
I still get nervous onstage, because there are always people standing there looking at you. But maybe it was losing the façade of pretending to be someone else. I wasn’t acting. Sometimes, I still get really nervous, but there’s nothing you can do. You have to turn it into excitement and focus.

Has it gotten easier as you’ve performed more?
It’s less scary now because that was a band that I joined, so I had the weight of the whole band on me. I had to be the frontperson for the band even though it was their project and they hired me as a singer. Now, whatever I decide to do, it’s up to me.

What inspired you to make the solo record?
I always wanted to have my own album ever since I was little. My dad always had his own CDs lying around the house that he had made. But more, I was just idolizing pop stars like Cindy Lauper.

Vocally, this one is quite sweet. Have you thought about the mood of your next?
I’ve started to write a little bit. I kept joking that my next album is going to be really dark and mature because that seems to be the way life goes, but I’m still quite happy and still writing quite upbeat music. But, we’ll see where I’m at in a year’s time when I sit down to do the bulk of writing. I feel like I still want to write fairly jolly music. It’ easier and more fun to perform.

Does your first single, “The Show,” fall into that category?
It’s such an uplifting fun song. I’m so glad my first release isn’t a bitter breakup song or a sad, woe is me my life sucks song because that would be really hard to repeat those emotions every day.

Are your songs autobiographical?
They always are a little bit, but sometimes they’re about another person, Often, when I’m writing I’ll just pick a lyric because of the shape of the word and how it fits in the melody and the phrasing, so it’s not purely autobiographical, but some of it is my life and how it’s nostalgic for me.

Which songs are you referring to?
In particular, “We Will Not Grow Old,” is about me and my best friend in high school and how we felt about the future. Everyone thinks it’s a love story. But teenage girl friendships are like love. You think you’re going to be together forever.

Are you two still friends?
We’re email friends but we have separate lives. But she knows the song is about her because I sent it to her. She thinks it’s really sweet and it makes her sad and nostalgic.

Are there any romantic songs on your record?
They are, but there’s usually a bit convoluted. I want to write more songs about being in love. I wrote recently that goes, “You’re in love, I’m in love.”

Your boyfriend is James Gulliver Hancock, the artist who did the stop motion animation for your videos and the album design. Do you two collaborate well?
We do. We make the videos together. He’ll do the illustrations then we split time doing the stop motion. The embroidery one I made myself, actually. I made it in Vienna. I had some time on my hands. I find those stop motion videos really relaxing because it is so tedious and time consuming. You can get away from your head a little bit.

You went to art school. What did you study?
I did a lot of textiles. I majored in sculpture but did a lot of textile-based sculptures. We recently made the lenka signs for my last show and it’s totally like craft camp. I got my mom involved too.

What else about the experience of releasing your first record has been exciting for you?
It was amazing to be backstage at Jay Leno. I have little moments when I pinch myself and go this is my life? There are a lot of aspirations I still have and the journey is at the very beginning right now. Even though it’s extraordinary that a girl from the Australian bush has come this far, I feel like I have so much more to achieve. I can’t rest on my laurels just yet.

The bush? Wait a minute. We heard you were from Sydney.
I moved to Sydney when I was a kid. I lived in suburbia for most of my life. But, when I was a little kid, I was in the bush. And when I was an adult and an actor, I was in Bombay beach which is much more urban. So I’m not a total bushie, but I have the bushie spirit inside me for sure.

Has living in Los Angeles been an adjustment for you?
I sometimes miss nature and I have to get away and go camping. That’s going to happen at Christmas. I’m going to go to Mexico and lie on the beach in the jungle for a couple of weeks.

You mean a spa retreat in the jungle, right?
We’re totally roughing it. I’ll pack a little methane stove and one cup and one fork and one backpack of clothes. I just want to shed all the human extensions we put in our life. Which is going to be hard. No laptop, no blackberry…

No shower.
No shower. But Papaw ointment.

Paw what what?
This thing Aussie girls always carry around with them. It’s papaya. We call it papaw. It’s lip balm but you can use it for dry skin and for insect bites. I put it under my eyes when I go to bed. It’s Australian bush medicine. That’s my beauty tip for the day [laughs].

Oh, you can’t be done yet. We loved the dress you wear in the video for “The Show.” Who designed it?
That dress is by Phillia and her label is called pH by Phillia. I met her on that shoot. I have a red one and green one now. It’s such a great dress. It’s a little sculptural creation.

Who are some of your other favorite designers?
Miu Miu and Betsy Johnson. I’ve got quite a few Betsey Johnson dresses which are great for stage. I also have this amazing Ted Baker cape for winter. It’s so cute. It’s like Little Black Riding Hood. I’ve been pretty much living in that. I pretty much wear vintage though.

You’ve been touring a lot this year and you’re starting up again in the New Year. What’s backstage like for you?
I’m pretty new to it so I’m making sure I stay healthy, but it seems everyone does that. I don’t know if I’m in the wrong genre of music but it’s not like it’s party central. Everyone’s just in pajamas and eating cereal and trying to take care of themselves. And for me and a lot of other girls, we don’t scream through the mike. We have to keep our voices pretty relaxed and healthy so we can sing our sweet little melodies instead of screaming death metal down the microphone.

Yeah, we don’t expect you’ll be doing that anytime soon.
That’s not really my…unless I do write a really dark album next. Then I can start drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes and turn into Tom Waits.

Lenka is on tour! Check her out here:
1/10 Spokane, WA (The Blvd)
1/11 Vancouver, BC (Media Club)
1/12 Seattle, WA (The Triple Door)
1/13 Portland, OR (Doug Fir Lounge)
1/15 Berkeley, CA (The Independent)
1/16 Bakersfield, CA (Modesto Virtual)
1/17 Santa Barbara, CA (SoHo)
1/22 Salt Lake City, UT (Kilby Court)
1/24 Denver, CO (Soiled Dove)
1/27 Lawrence, KS (The Record Bar)
1/29 Minneapolis, MN (Varsity Theater)
1/30 Madison, WI (Memorial Union - der Rathskeller)
1/31 Chicago, IL (Schubas Tavern)
2/4 Cambridge, MA (Great Scott)
2/5 College Park, MD (University of Maryland)

Holiday Rule

noreply@blogger.com (Bettie) — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 00:59:00 +0000

The cast of Nothing Like the Holidays gives us some tips on what to stop worrying about when you're feeling that holiday stress. Personally, we just make out with our personal jug of egg nog. That's what the mistletoe for, right?

1. Everyone Gets Fat
"You start off the day really hungry and the food's right there and it's warm and you're grubbing and then four scenes later it's like, get the food out of my face." - Jay Hernandez

"I gained 10 pounds in five weeks. Seriously. I think Luis gained 25. And, Alfred Molina, we were only partway through and he was like, I've already gained 13 pounds! So we'd check in every week and be like, how much did you gain?" — Debra Messing

2. Prepare for Embarrassment
"Everyone was doing karaoke and Alfred told Debra, I'll give you $500 if you get up there and do a song. She's like, ok! She jumped up, ran over, and sang a song. The moment she got back she was like, you're gonna pay up and Alfred's like, what are you talking about? She made him pay the five hundred dollars!" — Jay Hernandez

"I think Christmas is your family job review. They can catch you on anything. It [goes back to] what you said you were going to be as a kid. An actor, a writer, whatever. They're like, 'How's that job at 7-11 working out for you?'" — screenwriter Rick Nejera

3. Just Let Loose
"I took dancing lessons since the time I was three and it's been a hundred years since I've danced, but I love to dance. I've got it in my soul and I think I've found my inner Latina. But I am that nerdy when it comes to dancing to house music. I have no idea how to pop and lock." — Debra Messing

"[Being on that ledge] was the scariest day of my life. But I did it. When they first gave me the role, they said 'We gotta tell him he's gonna be hanging on the fifth floor ledge.' I'm terrified of heights, but I'm willing to try something once!" — Luis Guzman

4. Remember Love Will Save the Day
"One of my inspirations was Love Actually. It was a great snapshot of families and this world. I got it completely. It's a universal story." — Rick Nejera

Nothing Like the Holidays opens this Friday in theaters everywhere.

Shake it Like A Polaroid Picture!

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer B) — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 15:39:00 +0000

What is white, made out of plastic and takes credit card-sized Polaroids? The new Fuji Instax Camera! You'll definitely want this on your Christmas wish list this year, but hurry because hipsters are buying these limited-availability cameras like hotcakes. Hotcakes you can make homemade porn with!

T-Rex: Not So Dumb Afterall

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer B) — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 03:21:00 +0000

After centuries of calling T-Rex a big, dumb scavenger, studies are now removing their feet from their mouths. Turns out the big meat-eating baddie had a real nose for his prey and, like your dog, was able to seek out his next meal by following the scent of other dinosaurs or the sound of someone shaking a box of Stegosaurus treats.

The new discovery doesn't nix the idea that the king of dinos still scavenged around for meals, but his nose helped him find prey at night and over long distances, which explains why the team in Jurassic Park had such a rough time of it. Well, that, and those kids were idiots.

Vavelta: Putting Circumcision Back into Fashion

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer B) — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 19:10:00 +0000

Meet Vavelta, the new anti-aging miracle made from the foreskin of circumcised infants. Omg, what?

We're all about recycling, but this is really taking it a bit far. According to their PR team, Vavelta is a new, skin treatment that will bring back the days of your teenage years. Like Botox, it gives you the appearance of tight, youthful skin through injections. But, unlike the botulism-derived skin product, Vavelta requires only one ($2,300) injection of foreskin fibroblasts. Which is great...unless you end up looking like Carrot Top.

What's next? Recipes made from sperm? Oh, never mind, that's already been done. Do you want to try some creamy cum crepes? Yeah, neither do we.

A Q&A With the Hush Sound

noreply@blogger.com (Bettie) — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 17:14:00 +0000

Greta Salpeter may be twenty, but she has lots to teach us about the world. And not all of it is culled from Lucky magazine.

Between shows, Bettie met up with Greta Salpeter of the Hush Sound for a vegetarian-friendly lunch. In the four short years since they’ve been together, the Midwestern foursome have attracted the attention of such notable acts as Fall Out Boy and Phantom Planet and landed slots on major tours like this year’s Honda Civic tour. As Salpeter dug into her salad, we asked her questions on everything from her reckless driving to Pete Wentz's package. And we totally ignored our rule about not talking with our mouth full.

How's the salad?
It’s good! I’m so hungry and I hope I can get my words out. The band is about to go on tour again, but you recently shared a bill with Phantom Planet. How was that?
It was wild! It was me and ten guys. We became best friends with them and now it’s over and it’s sad and strange and hard to deal with.

You and their singer, Alex Greenwald, wrote a song about Honey Nut Cheerios. Explain.
We had so much cereal on our bus. Bands get riders and all I put on was fresh fruit and vegetables. All the boys put on pop tarts, cereal, pita, hummus…and there were just boxes and boxes and boxes of cereal in the pantry. Alex and I just became total do everything together buddies and we wrote and recorded a lot of silly songs.

On your most recent album, Goodbye Blues, we noticed you sing on more of the tracks.
When we were touring on our second record, Our Vine, Bob and I's friendship fell apart. We thought that, after that tour, we might not continue playing together. I started writing all these songs on my own and he started writing all these songs on his own. When we decided to make the band work and keep it together, we ended up with two totally different sets of songs. Two different records, essentially.

In the beginning, how did you and Bob decide who would sing?
We were both writing songs. He couldn’t have possibly sung my songs and I couldn’t have sung his songs. Bob had been in another band [The Audition] and I wanted him to start a band with him. My manipulative act was to start another band knowing it would make him jealous and want to quit and come join me.

Nice work! What was the other band you had?
We were together like two weeks. We didn’t even play a show. I was like a backup keyboard player.

How did you first meet Bob? He’s three years older than you.
My friend was dating his friend and we all went to see Monster’s Inc. I always had older friends. I was a really early bloomer. When I was 12 or 13 I was sneaking out of the house and making out with boys on the trampoline and smoking pot in my backyard. Then when I got to high school I was like, wait, I’m going to be a smart, studious, Catholic school girl.

And now, you’re in a rock band.
I listened to a ton of rock and pop music my whole life, but I’ve also been playing classical music since I was like two. I was one of those, not to say prodigies, but what I played when I was 9 or 10 would be difficult for me to learn now. My first piece was something I wrote when I was five years old and my mom titled it Opus #1.

As the only female in the band, do you ever deal with jealous female fans?
It’s more like they want to be friendly with me to get in with the band. It sort of freaks me out when they’re like, “Don’t you think Darren is so hot? How do you deal with being around him? He’s so attractive!” I’m like, dude...he’s like my brother.

So what you’re saying is you’ve never dated anyone in your band.
Bob and I dated when I was like 14 or 15, but that was no big deal. Once you’re at the age when you can start sleeping together, you don’t want to be sleeping with people in your band.

Unless you’re Gwen Stefani. Where do you see your career going?
I see being in this band for a long time. But, I’d love to write film scores or write for Broadway. But I want to be performing and touring for 10-15 years at least. I realize I’m 20 right now and undeniably these first three records are kind of like the awkward stage of my career so I’m trying to push myself to evolve and learn as quickly as I can.

The band has a bus now but you guys were stuck in a van for a year and a half. Who is the worst driver?
Everyone thinks I am, but that’s because I hit a deer when we were in Texas. Everyone who lives in Texas has hit a deer at some point. There’s a major overpopulation problem. It was at 2 in the morning and it ran in front of the van. We almost flipped…but I saved everyone’s life! After that, I didn’t drive much. Let’s just say that. We had fur on our license plate for six months.

And you’re a vegetarian.
It was sad! PETA, I’m so sorry!

Ok, there’s no good way of asking this. We saw this ad which featured Pete Wentz using your CD to cover his package…
Our management suggested this as a joke and I went, yeah, that’d be really funny! A week later, it’s being printed, and I’m like, what?! I don’t want to do this! I just thought it was so shameless, because as much as I was happy to be part of this new family, I don’t want to ride somebody’s coattails to get my record out there! Or their…male anatomy.

It was pretty funny.
What’s awesome is that our friend did the photo shoot with him holding the record and he said it was the most uncomfortable thing he’d ever done because he didn’t know Pete at all and Pete just had to drop his pants and hold the CD in front of it to recreate the photograph. We were in the studio when they first came out and I totally looked at the pictures. How could you not?

We did.
Pete had the best quote one day. He’s like, “What is wrong with the world? There are more people who Googled my name today than the war in Iraq. Something is fucked up.”

But the war happens every day and Pete Wentz showing off the goods doesn’t. There seems to be a trend of it guys getting naked lately. Not that we mind.
And, guys are so funny when they’re naked. When a woman is naked, she’s so sexy. When a guy is naked it’s like, haha look at that flapping in the wind! With men, any attractive woman can get them excited, which is such a bummer, but it also makes life exciting.

You just have to accept that they’re going to look.
Yeah. Just because you’re on a diet doesn’t mean you can’t look at the menu. Just no ordering! No bringing the dessert into your home where you live with your girlfriend.

Did that happen to you?
Yeah. With my first real boyfriend, my first real love. When we went on tour he was cheating on me and all sorts of stuff. Broke my heart. Now he’s just a normal dude in med school.

There’s a rumor you know sign language. Can you smack talk in ASL? Because that could come in handy.
No, but once in class this girl tried to say “I wash my dirty dishes,” and she accidentally said “I wash my dirty vagina.” When I was in French class we would sit in the back of the room and write pick up lines like, ”Is that a French fry in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

Wear Your President Proudly

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer B) — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 22:35:00 +0000

Dude, Shepherd Fairey was so last year. That's why we're sporting this hot new graffitized and silkprinted design from recent FIT grad Elektra that features the President-Elect's mug Sure, all this Obama hype is starting to make us feel like we might be buying into the Cult of Mao, but we're not panicking yet. So, for now, if you're on Team Obama, show your support by proudly having him cozily wedged between your boobs. We mean that in the most respectful way possible.

Cock Rock

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer B) — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 03:29:00 +0000

If that bludgeoning scene in A Clockwork Orange got you all a-flutter, we worry. But, if you just got a kick out the enormous rocking phallus, you can own a reproduction of the Herman Makkink original. For the first time since 1969, six reproductions of "The Rocking Machine" have been cast from the original mold and signed by the artist. There's also one original remaining if you're the only lass who didn't invest in the stock market.

Stick this sculpture — gently — into your bedroom, but don't get too rough with it. Like with your boyfriend's "rocking machine" if you break it, you don't get a do over.

New York Heart Core: A Q&A With Jesse Malin

noreply@blogger.com (Bettie) — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 03:03:00 +0000

Jesse Malin decides to try somewhere chillier than New York for Thanksgiving. Like Russia.

As part of his pre-flight ritual, punk singer-songwriter and Queens native Jesse Malin likes to return his tray table and seat back to their full and upright positions, stow all carry-on items in the overhead compartment or floor in front of him, and give Bettie a call. As the flight crew finished running around the cabin, Malin, on his way to Russia to play with Gogol Bordello, gave us the rundown on everything from his recently released covers record On Your Sleeve and his fake band with Ryan Adams to getting naked on stage and spending Thanksgiving away from home.

I’m almost about to board to go play with Gogol Bordello.

That’s awesome. You’ll be away for turkey day. Do you often spend Thanksgiving away from home?
I’ve had a few over the years on the road, including one with Ryan Adams in Ireland. I’m a big Thanksgiving person. I’m not a religious person, but being in New York for it is just great. We usually watch Broadway Danny Rose and Miracle on 34th Street and the parade. I’ll miss it for sure. But this is an experience. I’m on like three tours in one. Each week is a different tour and then I come back and play New York with the band. Next year, I’ll be working on the new record. It’s winding down, believe it or not.

What have you done so far for the next record?
Just demos and stuff. I’ve been writing a lot. I want to make sure I’m in the right head. The last one was Glitter in the Gutter and it was made in LA and it was kind of a pop rock record. I’m looking to push myself into a raw, real hole, find out what’s going on down there, and come back up with something.

Will you be “finding yourself” in Detroit, then?
In a squat in Detroit. Exactly [laughs]. No, it feels like after three records it’s time for something different. I don’t know what that will be, or if I’m going to go metal or Zydeco, but I’m definitely going to take some more time in the process of chilling out and refueling. I’ve been talking to some producers and have a group of musicians I’ve been playing some shows with that I really like and that I want to make the record with. That’s a big thing.

Are you a guy who still buys records?
Absolutely. The covers record is a tribute to buying records and going out. I like the idea of the impulse buy. Maybe you end up meeting somebody, fall in love, start a band, rob the store. Whatever. It’s the fight with the girlfriend at the video store. Netflix is fun, but I like going out. To go to a record store is like going to a church. Even if it’s Virgin and it’s all commercial and corporate, I’m still going to miss it.

With this covers record, did you have to work harder to put more of yourself into it because you didn't write the songs?
It’s harder to sequence because they’re not your songs. It’s harder to put together the arc and tell the story. It’s like a mixtape for a friend or a lover with everything from Elton John to the Hold Steady. After three serious releases, this is just something fun. It started as a joke. In the set, I would play a Clash song and then people started sending emails like, are you going to do the covers record? I said, if my label will give me money to do that, then let’s. Each song has its own story behind it for me.

What’s the story about the “Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard”?
There’s a connection to Queens and New York and you got Johnny Thunders and you got Paul Simon and what’s the connection? The boulevard. Different sides of the boulevard…

And some tie-in about nudity? In Spanish class?
Oh, yeah, well I took my penis out and slammed it on the desk to get these girls to stop making fun of me because I was into punk and it wasn’t fashionable in the eighties. I was a junior in high school. I didn’t want to hit any girls, but I didn’t know what to do to get them upset. So I took out my penis and slapped it on the desk and got suspended for two weeks.

Did they make fun of you for that?
No, they left me alone. They just smiled at me [laughs]. I don’t know. Maybe they got a kick out of it or they just got freaked out.

Was that the only time you've engaged in public nudity?
I once — on a dare — ran down the street naked during a snowstorm in fifth grade. That was kind of fun. But I’m not part of the polar bear club on anything. I’ve been naked onstage in the D Generation days when pants that a friend made exploded. The cops in the audience didn’t like that but I’m not ashamed of what God or nature or whatever created for me.

Is it true that you own a bar in New York — Niagara — where the Beastie Boys used to play when they were starting?
Yeah. It used to be A7, a hardcore club that I played in with my old band Heart Attack. The Beasties and the Bad Brains and DOA and Black Flag played there. It was a place to go. Then it was a hair metal club and now, it’s a place me and a couple musicians own. I took some of my publishing money from my first records and put it into a place. It was kind of a Sinatra, Belushi, Aykroyd fantasy of having a clubhouse and a place to go when you’re not playing. When I go to other towns I’m always looking for a good place with DJ or a jukebox. Somewhere to have a beer to unwind and hear good songs and feel welcome.

Now that CBGBs has closed, have you ever considered hosting shows at Niagara?
We were going to do an A7 tribute night where a lot of the people and have some of the bands from back in the day play, but we’ll have to see. There might be a mosh pit that would destroy the place.

True...speaking of musician buddies, are you and Ryan Adams still friends?
Yeah. I just saw him at the Apollo recently. It was just such a great show. I’m really proud of him. He just keeps going and he’s got his head in a good place right now.

Whatever happened to the band you guys had together: The Finger?
I don’t know! There was We Are Fuck You and Punk is Dead Let’s Fuck. It was a bar joke with fake names, but you never know. We could advance ourselves to that higher state of being someday again [laughs].

The last time we caught your on stage, you were playing your first show in Brooklyn at the Warsaw. What took you so long to get across the bridge?
I was protesting the hipster/Urban Outfitters/American Apparel/Williamsburg/Silverlake infiltration, but it’s a nice room there. Big Polish hall, kinda like where I’m going in Russia maybe.

What are punk rock musicians going to sing about now that Barack Obama has been elected?
There will always be something to rebel against. He’s still part of the government even though he’s articulate and intelligent and passionate and seems to have a heart. But believe me, it’s still America and it’s still corporate, and hey, we’re still in a recession. We’re suffering hard times and that’s a tough thing but, sometimes, it can make for good art. Beyond politics, the struggle with the human condition is enough of a mystery and a crazy machine to sing about. But to go overseas you definitely feel prouder to be an American. But, what’s next? At least he’s not playing golf and selling war toys to Halliburton.

Indeed! So, what are you going to be thankful for come Thursday?
I’m going to be thankful for Barack Obama. I’m going to be thankful that I’m alive and healthy and my family is and we still have a chance to make things better in this world.

Hot Guy of the Week: Kelvin Yu

noreply@blogger.com (Bettie) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 21:53:00 +0000

Got Milk?

We know, we know — you're still swooning over Twilight's Robert Pattinson. But after you put away those silly vampire fangs, check out Milk's Kelvin Yu. The 30-year-old SoCal native has been paying his dues in the film industry for five years, taking on bit parts in movies you may have missed like Grandma's Boy and Elizabethtown, and nabbed parts on shows such as Burn Notice, CSI, and the Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Starting this week, you can watch this rising star with a killer sense of humor in the Oscar-worthy Harvey Milk biopic as Michael Wong, though you may not be able to see his hotness through his outrageously awful glasses.

Catch him: Recently, the avid surfer with remarkable abs has been scooping up parts in Cloverfield, Milk, and the upcoming boy-meets-space version of Star Trek. Even if you're not a Trekkie, it's a must watch because Eric Bana, Zachary Quinto, and Karl Urban will be gallivanting around in the formfitting regulation Star Fleet attire.

Added Bonus: He's supposedly a fan of Sara Bareilles.