The In-Between Girl

Aaaaaaaaand my life is boring again.

2013-05-10T16:16:00.000-05:00

Thyroid is fine. However, I just learned that the technical term for my enlarged thyroid is goiter. GOITER. I never knew what that was and it sounds like something that old people get, like gout and bunions. A goiter. Fuck me.

Everything is probably fine

2013-05-09T13:38:00.000-05:00

Got my thyroid ultrasound today. The tech said I probably have nothing to worry about and my doctor will contact me in a couple of days. Exhale.

Just need to get something off my chest

2013-05-06T16:40:00.000-05:00

It all started in December when I was getting checked out by my new (awesome) doctor. "Your thyroid is a little on the bigger side," she said, hands on my neck, "We should get some bloodwork on that just in case. It's probably nothing though."

Bloodwork came back perfectly normal, I got to crack an off-color joke on Twitter, and life went on.

So the other day I was back at the doctor's office and she was frowning at her computer before the procedure started. "I was just looking back at these notes about your thyroid. The bloodwork was normal but we should probably have this checked out with an ultrasound. Just in case." I agreed. Better safe than sorry. Safe from what? I have no idea.

I didn't think much about it until I made the appointment at the radiology office today. Safe from what? What exactly do I need to be looking out for here?

So now I'm paranoid about thyroid cancer. Great.

Thirtysomething

2013-03-12T14:39:00.000-05:00

I haven’t been blogging much lately because I really haven’t had anything to blog about. What's new, right?

I read other people’s blogs and I wonder what it would be like to have a much more interesting life. If I were, say, a professional snowboarder who rescues kittens and fights crime in her free time instead of the IT 9-5er/wife/mother/Skyrim addict. I mean, I don’t even have time to exercise, let alone plan a stakeout outside a den of kitten-nappers.

I guess this introspection means it’s that time a year again – time for me to be another year older.

More proof that I write this blog only for myself

2013-02-22T09:51:00.000-06:00

I don't know what has been going on -- maybe it's the vast amounts of meat and cheese I've been stuffing into myself -- but I've been having some seriously awesome dreams lately.

Dream 1: Took a newfangled spaceship/rocket that was capable of faster-than-light travel to a populated Earth-like planet. It was beautiful. Evidently I was traveling there with a group of fishermen. I remember actually feeling the acceleration of the spaceship and how lovely the ocean was on this planet. There was this sort of lagoon with a huge dropoff but you could see all the way down to the bottom because the water was so clear. Oh yeah, and I was flying.

Dream 2: Had access to a time traveling car a la Back To The Future only it didn't have to get up to 88 mph to work. Was being chased around by some Biff-like bully and his toady and I had to run and try to hide in trees and behind bushes and houses because they were trying to run me over in their shitty 80s car. Even though they were trying to kill me it was exhilarating and kind of fun. I guess I like being chased.

Dream nn? - nn?: Tons of Elder Scrolls/Skyrim-related dreams. I can has magicka!

One of the Many Times In Which I Feel Like A Horrible Parent

2013-02-19T09:58:00.000-06:00

I have this doll. She has a pink dress and blue string hair. She has teardrop-shaped eyes and half of one has been rubbed off. Her hands are clasped together around a flower. There are several mildew stains on her dress now. I got this doll in South Korea in 1987.

She has been living in our bedroom. We don’t have much in the way of bedroom furniture yet and we still have a couple of unpacked boxes on the floor (and if it weren’t for Dragonborn being released last week I would have taken care of those yesterday) so sometimes she sits on top of our dresser and sometimes she gets knocked to the floor by the mountain of clothes that needs to be put away.

On Sunday Lily looked at me and said, “Thank you for the doll, Mama!”

I was confused. We hadn’t been toy shopping recently and I had already given her all my old stuffed animals and some other toys from my youth. “What doll, sweetie?”

“The doll with the blue hair.”

I got that feeling you get when you realize something is horribly wrong and all the hair stands up on the back of your neck. “I didn’t give you that doll,” I frowned.

“Yes you did,” Lily said, her eyes wide and lip just starting to quiver.

“You did. You were half asleep,” Husband said.

I have zero recollection of this. We had taken a nap earlier that day. I’m not one for talking in my sleep. Usually I’m somewhat of a light sleeper. Everything just felt weird and wrong at that moment. So I had to tell my sweet little daughter who is almost four and has the biggest, saddest, bluest eyes ever that Mama did not mean to transfer ownership of the Korea Doll to her in her sleep. And that was when Lily burst into tears and my heart broke into a million pieces.

One day I will give her that doll. In the meantime we compromised by letting the doll live in Lily’s room on a high shelf with all her other special (breakable, easily lost) things. But you can’t tell a four-year-old that some dolls are not for playing with.

I am not alone in my stupidity

2013-01-22T10:31:00.000-06:00

Hey, remember the time I went temporarily insane and destroyed my finger with an immersion blender?

I am not alone.

All the cool kids are doing it, and by kids I mean literally children

2013-01-03T10:52:00.000-06:00

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

Moved across the country.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year?
Homie don't play that.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
For once, no.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, but some family members had a rough year in that respect.

5. What countries did you visit?
Ha! Haha!

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
Stability.

7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
My memory doesn't handle numbers well, so I'll just say it was the moment Husband pulled up in Colorado in the moving truck.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
The move and my raise, obviously.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Same old same old. Nothing sticks out too far.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Thankfully there were no week-long bouts of norovirus this year.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets to CO!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My husband, who cheerfully and enthusiastically goes along with my zany schemes of moving across the country.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Let's not talk about that.

14. Where did most of your money go?
THE MOVE.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
This is getting really easy.

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
Muse - Madness

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? HAPPIER OH YOU HAVE NO IDEA
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter. Boo.
iii. richer or poorer? Richer! Yay!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Exercise.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Drink.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
At home with good food and good people.

21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
Yes, with some tall, dark, and handsome mountains. I'm such a slut for the Continental Divide.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Uh... we watch ~~Ow My Balls~~ America's Funniest Videos a lot.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
All the old crazies are still around.

24. What was the best book you read?
The whole Wicked Years series by Gregory Maguire OH MY CATS I JUST DISCOVERED THERE IS A FOURTH BOOK OMG BLUGHBLAUGHFLPHTH

25. What was your greatest musical discovery of 2012?
Fun. Wow, that's embarrassing.

26. What did you want and get?
A new state. Feel free to interpret that any way you like.

27. What did you want and not get?
A reliable vehicle. However, we're much better off than we were before.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Did The Avengers come out this year? I usually don't see movies until they've made it onto Netflix Instant.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I honestly don't remember, and I turned 32.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I could have done with a nice camping trip in the mountains.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
"Still Wearing the Same Shirts I Wore Eight Years Ago"

32. What kept you sane?
Getting up in the morning and greeting the Rockies. Not the baseball team.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Captain Paul Watson. He dealt with some serious shit this year and is still out fucking with the whalers. The Sea Shepherds are stronger than ever.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Marriage equality, women's rights, and marijuana legalization. THESE ARE ALL COMMON SENSE ISSUES, PEOPLE.

35. Who did you miss?
I'm sure I missed a bunch of shows due to babysitting constraints. Ha.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
My new circle of gaming nerds! Yay!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012:
If you are unhappy where you are, get off your ass and do something about it.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Booty booty booty booty rockin' everywhere."

Feasting and such

2012-12-20T15:13:00.001-06:00

I am excited not only to have over a full week off of work next week, but to do some serious cooking. Last year we did duck. This year we're doing lamb. Here's the tentative Christmas menu:

Rosemary and Garlic Roast Leg of Lamb
Oyster Dressing
Garlic mashed potatoes
Roasted sweet potatoes
Brussels sprouts with garlic, bacon, and craisins
Apple pie

Because garlic.

I'm also going to take a crack at homemade eggnog and maybe mulled wine.

We're not exactly on the ball this year for holiday decorations. All of that stuff is still in our storage space but we're going to be cleaning that out this weekend so we don't have to keep paying $155 a month to store baby clothes and homebrew supplies. So my week off will involve at least a day's worth of finding places to put everything. Shouldn't be hard, considering we're swimming in closet space.

In other news, I found me a gaming group. We are playing Pathfinder. It's... complicated. I have been rendered soft and puffy by my D&D 4e experience.

I am merry. I am bright.

My brain is a dick

2012-12-13T14:02:00.002-06:00

I invited five strangers from the Internet to come into my home tomorrow and play Pathfinder with me. Barring any axe-murdery events, this will be the first -- and long overdue – real attempt at socializing in Denver. Only took me four months.

It’s totally dorky but I started reading How to Win Friends and Influence People because yes, I really am that socially retarded. I started reading a different book before this one but I got totally embarrassed because every chapter heading on my Nook was emblazoned with a giant “HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU IN 90 SECONDS OR LESS” logo and I generally only read in public and on the bus. I’m doing pretty good at practicing the Art of Not Giving A Fuck but I’m not quite 100% there yet. Not that I really want to get to the point where I’m reading Hustler on the bus in plain view or anything, but I just feel weird about self-help books in general. Also, that particular book started going down a fluffy woo path pretty early. I did get something out of the few pages I did read, which is the reiteration of the fact that I need to work on eye contact.

I greatly dislike making eye contact.

I am nearly phobic about it.

It’s definitely a part of my greater social phobia, but my brain interprets people looking at me as, “THEY’RE JUDGING YOU. RIGHT NOW. THEY’RE TOTALLY LAUGHING AT YOU. LOOK. THEY’RE POINTING AND LAUGHING. GO ON, LOOK! LOOK!” And I’m all like, shut the fuck up, brain. I’m not looking. And my brain’s like, “THEY’RE LOOKING AT YOU AND LAUGHING WHILE YOU PASS – HERE, I’LL SHOW YOU IN YOUR PERIPHERAL VISION.” And I’m like, my peripheral vision’s all blurry and you’re just making stuff up now and I’ll thank you to keep your hallucinatory imagery strictly in my dreams.

I resolved this morning to look at strangers in the eye and make note of their eye color. Total eyes seen by me today: 0.

I panicked at a fast food restaurant today and ordered a drink when I didn’t want one because I for some reason couldn’t end the transaction. Then I dropped my change on the ground. Then I dropped a glove. Ugh.

I really have been doing better socially, but today has not been my best day.

At least we're not going back until late summer...

2012-11-29T10:11:00.000-06:00

We drove back to Minnesota for Thanksgiving. On one hand it was nice to see the family and get some closure on whether we made the right decision to move (we did), but on the other hand, it was much too soon (absence didn’t make the heart grow fonder) and some really stupid stuff happened that I’d like to forget as soon as possible.

I drove the first eight hour leg to Omaha. It was almost physically painful to see the mountains disappearing into the rear view mirror. I still take the dogs outside every morning and just stare at those mountains. Those peaks represent so many things to me: freedom (personal freedom, not in a fuck yeah AMURCA way), independence, choice, beauty, and a kind of delayed adulthood. We made a decision, stuck to it, followed through, and it was the best decision of our lives. I was never happy in Minnesota for a variety of reasons, not the least of which was the climate. During that first day of driving through the barren prairie of eastern Colorado and the slightly more colorful western Nebraska I could feel my heart sinking.

By the next day my heart was in the pit of my stomach. I actually felt physically ill and spiritually zapped. When I saw Buck Hill right before the 35W/E split I thought I was going to be sick.

Spending time with Husband’s family felt the same as it ever did and I felt better once all of Lily’s cousins were together in one place squealing and playing and running around. We stayed up until midnight and played dominoes and joked and laughed like we had never left.

As much as I would like to rant about other parts of the Minnesota trip I think I’ll save that for a private journal or a conversation with Husband. Time heals all wounds and now that we’re back in Colorado I have begun the process of letting go and reminding myself of the simple truths that kept me from going crazy years ago.

Sunshine and warm weather heal a lot of wounds too. It’s going to be 64 degrees and mostly sunny in Denver today.

An amusing anecdote regarding my cat

2012-10-18T09:46:00.003-05:00

Because I have nothing more to offer the Internet as of late, here is something I was giggling about last night.

We were on the couch and my cat, Sara, was next to me in one of her rare living room appearances. She mostly hangs out in the office because I’m sure she thinks we’re going to stuff her back into the cat carrier at any moment, put her into the moving box of torture, and dump her into another unfamiliar house filled with other cats.

We did that once, Sara. Once. OK, twice. The first house didn’t have a cat. OK, three times. But we didn’t let the dogs in the second house meet you.

This move has been hard on poor Sara.

Anyway, some commercial came on where a cat described herself as a “lean, mean, purring machine.”

I looked down at Sara and affectionately said, “You are not mean or lean.”

Husband leaned over, looked at the cat, and said, “No, she’s more dumpy and grumpy.”

Everyone's a critic

2012-09-25T09:17:00.002-05:00

This morning in the car on the way to daycare I was singing along to "Under the Bridge" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Lily: Um, excuse me.
Me: Yes?
Lily: Could you stop singing, please?
Me: Why?
Lily: I don't like it.
Me: You don't like this song or you don't like Mama's singing?
Lily: I don't like Mama's singing.

Whatever, I can rock that falsetto with the chorus at the end.

We have arrived

2012-09-17T10:35:00.000-05:00

The majority of our stuff has made it into our new townhouse. I'm tired, sore, and happy, and we spent an ass-ton of money on new stuff yesterday. Guest towels! Rugs! Wastebaskets! Our fridge may be empty but damnit, we have shower curtain liners.

Lily's room is almost completely set up. We still need to buy a bed frame for ourselves and a couch so we can actually sit down in the living room.

I'm exhausted.

Denver Denver Denver!

2012-08-08T16:35:00.004-05:00

More tidbits:

Denver meter maids are relentless.
Everybody speeds. All the time. No matter what the speed limit is.
Surprise! You’re in an exit lane!
There is a 7-11 approximately every 14.7 feet.
The Buffalo Chicken Rollers at 7-11 are delicious but you will hate yourself after you eat one.
There are a shit-ton of Korean churches in Aurora.
There are a LOT of Koreans in the Denver area in general. I had no idea.
It’s hard to find Korean tutors and classes around here.
The free shuttle on the 16th Street Mall is the best thing ever.
92 degrees feels like nothing when there’s no humidity.

What I did on my summer vacation

2012-08-06T15:05:00.001-05:00

I flew back to Minneapolis to finish packing the house and clean it and do the final goodbyes. Then Lily and I flew back to Denver together. I wasn't super excited about the TSA guys giving her a "Junior Officer" sticker (because... like, it's the MAN, man)

but Lily was just excited because it was a sticker and we were finally going to fy on an airpane.

But then she did this and I felt better because she totally gets it.

We arrived in Denver a few hours before Husband and his dad got there with the moving truck. By Monday afternoon everything was loaded into the storage unit and we had some steaks and ribs at a chain restaurant down the road. Many trips to the amazing liquor store across the street were made and we officially started on a quest to try just about every ale every Colorado brewery puts out.

We drove around, we marveled at the sights. Instead of seeing a body of water everywhere we turn like in Minnesota we get to see this every time we look to the west.

We did not eat the healthiest of meals this week.

But we did manage to get out to the mountains with Husband's uncle, who introduced Lily to kite flying...

...and also the joy of a solid mountain hike. There was only a little* whining and complaining.

* A lot

We visited the first of many local brewpubs for our post-mountain refreshment.

The Bavarian helles was not to my taste, the kolsch was OK, the Cherry Wheat was just sour enough to make it interesting, but the Basil Blonde knocked my socks off. We got a growler to go.

On the darker side the altbier again didn't do it for me, the Great Scott had a nice smokey bacon background, the Imperial Oak Aged Stout was good enough to warrant a second growler, and the Mexican Chocolate Stout was... interesting. It had a cinnamon-chocolate punch up front and a habanero burn going down. The 4 oz flight glass was probably all a person should drink.

Meanwhile, Lily had a Capri Sun and tried on Dada's new hat.

Later we went to the Justice League of Street Food where we were all too busy shoving food down our gobs to take pictures of what we were eating. We had Korean beef on a stick, hot salty balls (deep fried mashed potato balls), pheasant-rattlesnake sausage, the most amazing tacos ever in the whole world
(queso, carnitas, and pork belly -- which I could have eaten about 14 of), and a ridiculously delicious crab sandwich from a guy who REALLY likes Old Bay seasoning. Obviously it was hipster central. We were also introduced to goat heads. I had one in my shoe. They are the devil.

We capped off the week with a trip to a nearby splash pad where we inadvertently stumbled upon a picnic for the Special Olympics. The place was packed, but Lily had a good time.

And that's what I did on my summer vacation. Pretty sure I gained about 15 pounds.

Colorado, rah rah rah!

2012-07-24T15:48:00.001-05:00

I’ve been an unofficial Colorado resident for three days. I’m missing Husband and Lily terribly. The commute from our temporary living situation is killer. But I’m loving every glimpse of the mountains, every breath of thin air, and every molecule of green chili.

Little things:

It’s DRY. My lips are going to fall off and my skin doesn’t know what to do with itself right now.
The weather is crazy. One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s a thunderstorm, then sunny again. It’s cool at night and blazing hot during the day.
NO HUMIDITY, HALLELUJAH
Very few bugs.
Public transportation is everywhere but it’s expensive as hell.
Their light rail is actually a system as opposed to a single line.
I may not know where I am or where I’m going, but at least I always know which way is west.
Mountains. There they are. Right over there.
The elevation hasn’t affected my lungs as much as my heart. I’m also not nearly as dizzy as I usually am, which is really saying something.
I WILL PUT GREEN CHILI ON EVERYTHING
The major grocery store out here is called “King Soopers.” I wonder when that will ever sound normal. It’s not as bad as “Piggly Wiggly” but it’s pretty close.

Ready to go

2012-07-16T14:59:00.001-05:00

It's my last week here in Minneapolis. I am awash with impatience. I won't see Husband or Lily for a week and I will be living with a guy I barely know in an unfamiliar place.

Sounds scary, but it isn't. Except for the not-seeing-my-family part. Husband's cousin, with whom we're temporarily staying, is just about the nicest and most fun guy ever. His whole family is fantastic and I can't wait to see them again.

Being at our going away party this weekend and being forced to be social again has reignited a need to try putting myself out there again. I'm going to find some friends in Denver, damn it, and I'm going to try not to be so awkward. Nobody out there knows me so maybe for the first time ever I can drop at least a few of the masks I wear and let someone in just a little.

I'm also interested in seeing how some of our Minnesota relationships hold up. I should have been embarrassed by who didn't show up this weekend and I should be more concerned about what has and has not been said by some, but I'm so far past the point of giving a shit anymore that I've already dug that hole inside, filled it with shit, dug it out again, and filled it in again with compost and flowers. Now I can focus all my energy into packing, moving, living, and enjoying life.

It's a lot easier now that my hangover has passed.

New Manifesto

2012-06-15T12:21:00.002-05:00

6 months late, and actually the words of Husband, but there it is.

Yes, we’re moving to Denver.

2012-06-14T12:03:00.002-05:00

The planets have aligned and the clouds parted to reveal a golden opportunity that we couldn’t pass up. Basically, my job was available in Denver so I applied. Husband and I have been scheming about moving to CO since we first got married.

We’re in the process of attaching little round price stickers to nearly everything we own. 7+ years of accumulated crap has been sifted, sorted, trashed, and assessed. You don’t quite understand how little all of your stuff really means to you until you have the prospect of having to pack and move it cross-country.

Colorado will be very much about us starting over – no, make that simply starting. I don’t want to start our lives surrounded with clutter and useless crap. I already knew what was important: Husband, Lily, the pets, the PS3, and our computers (I’m a realist). This is just solidifying my belief that stuff is just stuff. I’m looking forward to keeping life simple and minimalist.

We’ve been very comfortable here in Minneapolis. We have stable jobs, we’re surrounded by family, we’re able to pay our bills. But we both knew that the rest of the world is out there waiting for us.

On my high horse about toddlers and electronics

2012-06-06T13:20:00.000-05:00

“My 2 year old can turn on the TV and put in a DVD all by herself!”

“My 3 year old is playing Minecraft!”

“I let my 4 year old watch videos and play games on my iPhone!”

Whoop-de-fuckin’-do. My 3 year old does not do these things. And I’ll tell you why.

First and foremost, it’s because she’s fucking 3. She’s got around 100 years to fiddle around with electronics and burn her retinas with whatever kind of screen she chooses.

She already watches what I consider to be a high amount of TV: usually 2-3 episodes of whatever Nick Jr./Sprout/PBS show she’s into that day while dinner is being made. Weekends are worse. But she must always ask politely before we’ll turn anything on for her. Spongebob is not an option and occasional Dora/Diego are only allowed on the little TV on the opposite side of the house from the kitchen where I can’t hear them shouting.

She has a little handheld touchscreen computer thingy (it’s some Playskool thing but she calls it her “DS”) but she’s not attached to it and really only picks it up if it’s right in front of her and she doesn’t have anything better to do. She can work that thing’s deep menus pretty impressively to get to her favorite storybook or puzzle game. I half explained how to use it and she took it from there.

That’s exactly what I want her to do. She can’t quite grasp the computer mouse yet but I bet she could probably figure out what buttons to push to turn the TV on if she tried. I want her to explore, experiment, and learn things on her own. I’m not going to sit down and give her a tutorial on our two different remotes and remote-less stereo receiver. But if I wake up one Saturday morning to find her happily watching Yo Gabba Gabba all by herself, I’m going to give her a ton of praise for working it out and then send her into the toy room or backyard.

I’m kinda glad our current TV setup is complicated, though.

I wrote a story

2012-06-04T10:15:00.001-05:00

I wrote a story and I'm putting it out into the world because it scares the dickens out of me to do that. It's fanfic. It's over 5000 words. But I finished it. It is mine. I have created.

Not sure if any of this would make sense to someone who hasn't played any Elder Scrolls games. I kept the lore on the light side.

Kenek-i's Story, Part 1
Kenek-i's Story, Part 2
Kenek-i's Story, Part 3
Kenek-i's Story, Part 4
Kenek-i's Story, Part 5

I <3 Redguards.

Rollercoaster brain

2012-05-11T10:40:00.000-05:00

I wonder more and more every day if I should go back to a psychiatrist and get medicated. My OCD is pretty under control, my social anxiety is tolerable (no panic attacks in a long time now!), but I have clear periods of ups and downs. When I’m up I’m a creative fountain spewing words and pictures and ideas in all directions, soaking up information like a sponge, and cooking like mad. When I’m down, I am a misanthropic slug with a learning disorder.

I haven’t written here since March. I haven’t worked on The Project since the end of February. I managed to ooze out a creative writing exercise the other day outlining a backstory for one of my Skyrim characters but I haven’t fleshed it out yet.

I worry that, like in the past, medications would do less evening out and more bringing everything down to a dull monochrome. I lost a good chunk of memory from my high school years and still have short term memory and word recall issues and if that actually got worse I honestly don’t know how I would function. I mean, the other night I forgot the words for “sink” and “cutting board.” This happens every day.

At least I’m losing weight, or at least I think I am because I have avoided the scale, and I didn’t have to manually squish my boobs into my jacket this morning. I’m doing a (loose) low-carb keto-esque thing and it’s going pretty well. I do miss fruit, however.

Very soon in our future will be a new (old) car and a new (probably new) TV. So that’s exciting.

Human Zoo

2012-03-26T12:14:00.000-05:00

This weekend was a flurry of physical activity. I started on Friday after work by running C25K Week 1, Day 3 to the bike shop to pick up my newly tubed-and-shiftered bike. Unfortunately the bike shop isn’t that far away and I only got halfway through my run. I biked back home where Husband and Lily were waiting for me to go for a walk to the playground and the liquor store.

My bike. She is glorious now. It’s an older bike (I’m thinking 60’s, maybe?) and its shifters were previously located on the crossbar because clearly the Italians who designed it were completely insane. Every time I had to shift I had to reach down and fumble around and I felt like I was going to just fall right over. Now I have fancy—well, not fancy – but real thumb shifters on the handlebars where nature intended them to be.

Funny thing is that I’m so used to riding my scooter that I spooked myself twice on the ride back home because there was no turn signal switch for my left thumb. Also I left my helmet at home and had to carry my change back in my shoe because of poor planning.

Saturday was another walk to the park to play tennis with S & H. There was tennis for hours. I had to take Lily over to the playground a couple of times because she got bored watching us and chasing tennis balls.

Sunday was a repeat of Saturday, only I didn’t play tennis at all. Lily and I spent quite some time at the playground and I did some serious peoplewatching.

It’s still strange to see all these people who are my age and also have kids around Lily’s age. What really irritated me was the amount of helicopter parenting going on. Parents! Let your children play in the playground! It was like these people had some kind of invisible tether connecting them with their children like an unbreakable 5-foot rope. I actually saw a mother start to walk away from her daughter but stop suddenly, like she had reached the end of her umbilical rope and couldn’t physically move any father.

Me, I sat on the benches, moseying around when I had to as Lily worked her way around the playground equipment and my sight lines were lost. I stepped a little closer a couple of times to remind her to take turns on the slides. I watched her explore all the equipment and I could see the gears turning in her head as she discovered what everything did. All on her own she conquered the big metal slide she had been afraid of only days before. She came running over to me, beaming with pride, shouting, “Mama! Mama! Yaaaaay! I did it!” I gave her a huge hug, told her how proud of her I was, and watched her go down the big slide over and over again. From the bench.

There were three different kids, ranging in age from around 2 to maybe 4, playing on one of the playground structures. This particular structure had a wooden ramp that was barely an incline – more of a short boardwalk -- that led to a platform where the kids could take sand and send it down a tube. This is not exactly a high-risk piece of equipment. Maybe if a kid were to run blindfolded up the walkway they could possibly run headlong into the little shelf thing on the edge, but said kid would have to be incredibly derpy and/or mentally ill for any sort of injury to occur. And yet three different parents for the three different kids all stood around the thing, eyes glued to their child, at regularly spaced intervals in a 3-foot radius from the kids. Lily occasionally dropped in to assist with the sand dropping and I’m pretty sure one of the moms looked back at me as though she were expecting me to leave my seat and also hover around like some kind of parental electron to the offspring nucleus.

I offered a small smile in her direction. Why would I need to, when there were three other hyper-alert adults within arm’s reach already?

In other news, my pants and coat are already fitting better.

This is why I married him

2012-03-26T08:49:00.001-05:00

Me: Argh... trying to find a song and I have no way to search for it because it's an instrumental.

It's that one... from the 70's or early 80's....

There's horns....

Husband: Herbie Hancock?

Me: Nope... kinda funky disco.

Husband: Oh. Pick up the Pieces

Average White Band...

I believe.

Me: OH SHIT.