New New York

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It is! It’s the city of New New York! Strictly speaking, it’s the fifteenth New York since the original, so that makes it New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New New York.

There’s something else I’ve always wanted to say: Allons-y, Alonso! Black tie…Whenever I wear this, something bad always happens. New-new-Doctor. Goodbye…my Sarah Jane! I’m the Doctor, I can save the world with a kettle and some string! And look! I’m wearing a vegetable! You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can’t spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone. That’s the curse of the Time Lords.

Wibbly-wobbly… timey-wimey… stuff.

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause-and-effect… but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it’s more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly… timey-wimey… stuff. Ooh, that’s rude. Is that the sort of man I am now? Am I rude? Rude and not ginger.Aw, I wanted to be ginger! I’ve never been ginger! And you, Rose Tyler! Fat lot of good you were! You gave up on me! New-new-Doctor. Yeah? Well I’m the Lord of Time. It is! It’s the city of New New York! Strictly speaking, it’s the fifteenth New York since the original, so that makes it New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New New York.

I’m the Doctor, I can save the world with a kettle and some string! And look! I’m wearing a vegetable! What? What?! WHAT?! Don’t you think she looks tired? You need to get yourself a better dictionary. When you do, look up ‘genocide’. I’m the Doctor, I can save the world with a kettle and string!You’ll find a little picture of me there, and the caption’ll read ‘Over my dead body’. I don’t want to go. Sweet, maybe… Passionate, I suppose… But don’t ever mistake that for nice. Allons-y! New-new-Doctor. I’d call you a genius, except I’m in the room. You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can’t spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone. That’s the curse of the Time Lords.

It’s rather a pity, in a way…now the universe is down to 699 wonders. You’re standing on my scarf. Alright? Of course I’m alright, my child. You know, I am so constantly outwitting the opposition, I tend to forget the delights and satisfaction of the gentle art of fisticuffs. My dear Miss Shaw, I never report myself anywhere, particularly not forthwith. That could blow a hole in the space-time continuum, the size of—actually, the exact size of Belgium. That’s a bit undramatic, isn’t it? ‘Belgium’?

Alright? Of course I’m alright, my child. You know, I am so constantly outwitting the opposition, I tend to forget the delights and satisfaction of the gentle art of fisticuffs. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Safety precaution. I’m allergic to certain gases in the praxis range of the spectrum. If the gas is present, the celery turns purple… I eat the celery. If nothing else, I’m sure it’s good for my teeth. Yes, well, the definition of the word ‘humanity’ is always a rather complex question, isn’t it?

When I say run, run. …RUN! The past is another country. 1987’s just the Isle of Wight. There are some corners of the universe which have bred the most terrible things. Things which act against everything we believe in. They must be fought. My dear Miss Shaw, I never report myself anywhere, particularly not forthwith. Come on! No idea. Just do what I do: hold tight and pretend it’s a plan. It’s all right up to the eyebrows. Then it goes haywire. Yes, that’s right, you’re going. You’ve been gone for ages. You’re already gone. You’re still here. You’ve just arrived. I haven’t even met you yet. It all depends on who you are and how you look at it. Strange business, time.

Brave heart, Clara. Oh, I always rip out the last page of a book. Then it doesn’t have to end. I hate endings! Overconfidence, this, and a small screwdriver. Bow ties are cool.I’m absolutely sorted. Come along, Pond! It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool. I once spent a hell of a long time trying to get a gobby Australian to Heathrow airport. Yes, well, it’s a brilliant noise. I love that noise. Goodbye, Clara. No idea. Just do what I do: hold tight and pretend it’s a plan. There’s something that doesn’t make sense. Let’s go and poke it with a stick.

Thank you, Strax. And if I’m ever in need of advice from a psychotic potato dwarf, you’ll certainly be the first to know. There’s something that doesn’t make sense. Let’s go and poke it with a stick. There are fixed points throughout time where things must stay exactly the way they are. This is not one of them. This is an opportunity! Whatever happens here will create its own timeline, its own reality, a temporal tipping point. The future revolves around you, here, now, so do good! I know. Dinosaurs! On a spaceship!

Oh, I always rip out the last page of a book. Then it doesn’t have to end. I hate endings! Brave heart, Clara. I never know why. I only know who. No idea. Just do what I do: hold tight and pretend it’s a plan. No. You’re too short and bossy, and your nose is all funny. Overconfidence, this, and a small screwdriver. I’m absolutely sorted. Come along, Pond! I need…I need…I need… fish fingers and custard! You are the only mystery worth solving. Yes, well, it’s a brilliant noise. I love that noise.

Soko radicchio bunya nuts gram dulse silver beet parsnip napa cabbage lotus root sea lettuce brussels sprout cabbage. Catsear cauliflower garbanzo yarrow salsify chicory garlic bell pepper napa cabbage lettuce tomato kale arugula melon sierra leone bologi rutabaga tigernut. Sea lettuce gumbo grape kale kombu cauliflower salsify kohlrabi okra sea lettuce broccoli celery lotus root carrot winter purslane turnip greens garlic. Jícama garlic courgette coriander radicchio plantain scallion cauliflower fava bean desert raisin spring onion chicory bunya nuts. Sea lettuce water spinach gram fava bean leek dandelion silver beet eggplant bush tomato.

Pea horseradish azuki bean lettuce avocado asparagus okra. Kohlrabi radish okra azuki bean corn fava bean mustard tigernut jícama green bean celtuce collard greens avocado quandong fennel gumbo black-eyed pea. Grape silver beet watercress potato tigernut corn groundnut. Chickweed okra pea winter purslane coriander yarrow sweet pepper radish garlic brussels sprout groundnut summer purslane earthnut pea tomato spring onion azuki bean gourd. Gumbo kakadu plum komatsuna black-eyed pea green bean zucchini gourd winter purslane silver beet rock melon radish asparagus spinach.

Pea horseradish azuki bean lettuce avocado asparagus okra. Kohlrabi radish okra azuki bean corn fava bean mustard tigernut jícama green bean celtuce collard greens avocado quandong fennel gumbo black-eyed pea. Grape silver beet watercress potato tigernut corn groundnut. Chickweed okra pea winter purslane coriander yarrow sweet pepper radish garlic brussels sprout groundnut summer purslane earthnut pea tomato spring onion azuki bean gourd. Gumbo kakadu plum komatsuna black-eyed pea green bean zucchini gourd winter purslane silver beet rock melon radish asparagus spinach.

Soko radicchio bunya nuts gram dulse silver beet parsnip napa cabbage lotus root sea lettuce brussels sprout cabbage. Catsear cauliflower garbanzo yarrow salsify chicory garlic bell pepper napa cabbage lettuce tomato kale arugula melon sierra leone bologi rutabaga tigernut. Sea lettuce gumbo grape kale kombu cauliflower salsify kohlrabi okra sea lettuce broccoli celery lotus root carrot winter purslane turnip greens garlic. Jícama garlic courgette coriander radicchio plantain scallion cauliflower fava bean desert raisin spring onion chicory bunya nuts. Sea lettuce water spinach gram fava bean leek dandelion silver beet eggplant bush tomato.

Soko radicchio bunya nuts gram dulse silver beet parsnip napa cabbage lotus root sea lettuce brussels sprout cabbage. Catsear cauliflower garbanzo yarrow salsify chicory garlic bell pepper napa cabbage lettuce tomato kale arugula melon sierra leone bologi rutabaga tigernut. Sea lettuce gumbo grape kale kombu cauliflower salsify kohlrabi okra sea lettuce broccoli celery lotus root carrot winter purslane turnip greens garlic. Jícama garlic courgette coriander radicchio plantain scallion cauliflower fava bean desert raisin spring onion chicory bunya nuts. Sea lettuce water spinach gram fava bean leek dandelion silver beet eggplant bush tomato.