that being said.

i don’t talk about my job much, but you should be aware that i work in customer service.

so i have a little PSA for you.

should you ever need to contact customer service, i encourage you to act like your life depends on your ability to learn, live, and love the following cliche:

you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

that is all.

So the other day the bgff and I were talking about blogging censorship.  You can find her post on the topic here. (I wrote this so long ago that her blog is not at blogspot anymore. so i’m not really sure where you would find her post… maybe she knows?)

There was a time when I quit blogging.  It was a little bit because I was overwhelmed by everything in life, but also because I was so worried about offending someone.  I had a bad experience and though I don’t want to get into it, suffice to say drama ensued, feelings were hurt, I cried, blah blah blah.

I still worry about offending people, but I also realize that if I’m going to get upset when someone gets in my face (hate that. Even on the internet) or just generally acts like a bitch (hi, I hate any sort of confrontation) there’s a measure of self-preservation in not throwing around my opinion or my idea of right vs. wrong.  Don’t get me wrong, I do vent on this blog, I just choose to mark those entries private. I know some people probably think this is spineless, but that’s my choice.  It’s a better choice for me.  I get to vent, but no one else is subject to it.  For those of you who don’t censor your venting, do you ever regret it?

My own self-preservation and that of my family and friends is pretty important to me.  So.  Question of the hour: do you censor?  Why or why not?  I think enough people did the 20SB blog-swap that it’s safe to say we ALL censor to some extent.  What is that extent for you?  Are you censoring from people in real life? Maybe your family or partner? Do you worry about getting Dooced so you don’t talk about work stuff?

Some people seem to revel in throwing it all out there and make no apologies.  I admire bloggers like Amalah who pretty much says “I know you’re going to say I’m a terrible mother/person, but I know I’m not.  And I know there are more of you who DON’T think I’m a terrible mother/person, so the rest of you can just eff off.”  For the record, Amy, as if you’re reading this, I don’t think you’re a terrible mother/person. : )  Others of you who do that, how do you get to that place?  I tend to take everything SO PERSONALLY – with the bad experience I had, I tried SO HARD not to let it get to me, and it still was in the back of my head all the time.  Now, I just don’t put myself in a situation that might cause me to have to get cranky and cry (not fun for anyone, I assure you.).

There are exceptions to this rule, of course, but I have to REALLY feel like it’s worth possibly starting a brawl over. ; )  People are always going to argue over politics, religion (and her, thank you Sammy Kershaw) and parenting.  For me, it’s between me and God, and I think if He and I both know that I’m doing the right thing and if I can look at myself in the mirror at the end of the day, why cause a ruckus?

What about when a blogger you read regularly writes something that you vehemently disagree with?  I had that happen not too long ago, and I debated forever about whether or not my opinion was important enough to comment.  I thought really hard about whether or not it was up to me to make sure the other blogger was better informed, and I decided that what she thought really was incorrect, so I left a comment.  She didn’t respond, but that’s okay.  Here’s the thing I’m a little sketchy on: if I wanted to tell you what it was about, I’d have to go look up her blog and find the post.  So was it REALLY that important?  Or is it just my juvenile Alzheimer’s kicking in? ; )

So. Before I hit publish on another make-you-think blog, my questions again: do you censor? How much and from whom? Why or why not? If you don’t censor, have you ever regretted it?  I love it when you guys tell me what you think, so if you’re lurking, please come out and play!

Although, let’s be honest, I would probably use them to procrastinate.

Or sleep, maybe?

There is SO MUCH that has happened since the last time I blogged.  Which, really, wasn’t even me blogging, it was me pleading for y’all to spread the love to Brandy and her Hot Awesome Dude.  Which, bt dubs, have you done that yet?  Go check out love harder and the love harder shop and get yourself a teeshirt or a nice tea mug or something! and some STAMPS! shut the FRONT DOOR. I’m definitely going to have a boatload of love harder swag by the time all is said and done.

Let’s see… things with new roommate are AWESOME. We are totally on the same wavelength, but in a different way than I was with the bff/old roommate. And we work together, which, instead of that making us UBER SICK of each other’s faces, has resulted in some very good gossip-fests about the shenanigans that go on in our office.  Super awesome to find out that there wasn’t just one person I could live with for the rest of my life!  I am NOT a textbook only child!  Yay! Anywho, I call her T or TK so that is how y’all will know her also.

I have photographic evidence that my bff got married. Haven’t gotten around to throwing those up here either. Also I believe I swore I would video blog, and I will.  Soon-like.  In fact, I think I could convince TK to be in it. She’s a bit theatrical like me. My mom calls it dramatic. Potato, potato, right? Right.

Speaking of potatoes, which we weren’t really, but just go with me on this, did you know they are gluten-free?  I just found that out myself.  We are embarking on a gluten-free adventure.  TK and I have deduced (because we attended the University of Timbuktu Medical School online) that perhaps she has that Celiac thing?  Actually, I had Joy Behar on the other night as background noise while I was doing a few different things online (none of which was blogging, clearly) and she had Elisabeth Hasselbeck on her show and since Elisabeth self-diagnosed with Celiac, clearly I was qualified enough to diagnose my roommate.  I mean, really. Elisabeth Hasselbeck? Come on. S’anyway, TK has the celiac and she’s saying buh-bye to wheat, rye, bulgar, and a whole list of unpronounceable things that we found on the internet. And she also doesn’t eat vegetables on principle. Or fruit, really. Except potatoes and corn.  Which, if you know me, you know that I will tell you those are NOT vegetables, they are STARCH. Which is grain. Which, hey, surprise face, they are gluten free! I’m seeing a lot of potato and corn consumption in her future. Periodically I may update you with things we find out are gluten free.  Her exciting discovery for today? SKITTLES!  Skittles are gluten-free!  So, see?  FRUIT! A bag of skittles in one hand and a potato in the other = balanced diet.

ALSO I HAVE NEWS.

And unfortunately that is all I am allowed to share.

BUT IT IS GOOD.

And I am chomping at the bit to share.

As soon as I have the go-ahead to share, I will.

BE ON THE EDGES OF YOUR SEATS THIS IS BIG.

And on that cryptic note, I’m out.

Peace!

P to the S – for those of you on feed readers, click through to check out the new header! With the super awesome quote! Yay!

“The quandry: We feel terrible. Just horrible. And oh so helpless… if only there was something we could DO for them.

The answer: Ummmm. Did you forget that WE ARE THE INTERNET?!?!!??! And also, Yes We Can!!!

The result: Brandy and your Hot Awesome Dude… this one’s for you. Love, The Internet.”

for Brandy and her Hot Awesome Dude — GO WATCH THIS!

Our Plea

Our friend Brandy is a brilliant writer, a wonderful teacher, and a generous friend.  And she is in love with a man who has just been diagnosed with multiple myeloma.

We are raising money for the Multiple Myeloma Research Fund in his name.  For the price of a cinnamon dolce latte, half-caf, hold the whip, you can be part of an effort to cure a disease that affects approximately 750,000 people worldwide.

http://www.loveharder.org

Every dollar brings us a dollar closer to a cure.  And every donation brings a sliver of hope to a girl who needs all the hope she can get.

Love Harder,
RaeLeigh/bsg

What You Can Do

• Give. Be part of a worldwide effort to cure a disease that affects approximately 750,000 people worldwide.  Every dollar helps.
• Pass it on. Forward this story to five people.  Share this blog post.  Become our fan on Facebook.
• Love harder. Life is short, love is unbending, and no one knows what could happen next. Tell someone you love them today.

Where Your Money Goes

• The American Institute of Philanthropy recently named The Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation one of the best organizations to give to in terms of their accountability and use of resources.
• By working closely with researchers, clinicians and partners in the biotech and pharmaceutical industry, the MMRF has helped bring multiple myeloma patients four new treatments that are extending lives around the globe.
• The MMRF has advanced twenty Phase I and Phase II clinical trials. They need your support to advance these clinical research programs and accelerate the development of better, more effective treatments.
• The MMRF’s Multiple Myeloma Genomics Initiative recently became the first to sequence the multiple myeloma whole genome in its entirety.
• A whopping 98% of your donation to the MMRF will be used immediately to support high-priority multiple myeloma research.
• With diminishing funding for early stage drug development and the next myeloma treatments not expected to be approved until 2011, the MMRF desperately needs your help.

Brandy’s Story

DONATE: http://www.loveharder.org
CONTACT: theloveharderfund@gmail.com
FACEBOOK: http://facebook.loveharder.org
MORE INFO: http://www.themmrf.org

hell.

i forgot in my resolutions last week to mention “go to new england and get silly-ish-ly drunk with Jill.” of which she reminded me in the comments. only she said “meet jill.”  which, let’s all just be honest with ourselves, shall we, miss pilgrim? silly-ish-ly drunk is probably a bit more accurate, wouldn’t you say?

so my roommate got married last weekend. photos to come.  and at work, when i talk to someone on the phone and am making small talk (which i am still terrible at somedays. i’m better if when i say “so how was your weekend?” instead of saying “good, thanks *biglongawkwardpause*” you say “great, thanks, HOW WAS YOURS?” we have covered this, people. i don’t require much.) i mention “my roommate got married on new year’s day” for some odd reason, the first thing they say “so are you not roommates anymore?”  now, is it me, or is that just kind of an odd question? i dunno.

speaking of my roommate getting married last weekend: we’re moving.

betcha didn’t see that one coming, did you?

yesterday, our landlord made plans to show our house to a couple people in the afternoon.  it would have been totally fine if i had been there, she didn’t tell me i couldn’t be, but i just had to get out of there. i don’t know. it just felt… weird.  so i left right before i knew they were going to show up, leaving a nice note on the white board on the fridge telling them we hoped they loved that house as much as we have. i’m so excited to have my own place (well, sort of. i will still have a roommate, but i’ll be there a full 2 weeks by myself before she moves in) but it’s kind of bittersweet. i’ve lived with my best friend from college basically since christmas break my senior year — so 5 years. FIVE. YEARS. that is a long time to live with someone to whom you are not married. she and i live in each other’s heads. we get each other so much. WE EVEN START RANDOMLY WHISTLING THE SAME SONG AT THE SAME TIME. seriously, y’all. so i’m a little sad about not living together anymore, and i really hope that we still get to hang out a LOT before she and fred the husband (weird.) move to wherever he goes to grad school at. one of the schools he applied to was in Florida. I will be visiting. a LOT.

i think i’ll be chronicling our move this week. because i’ll need to procrastinate, basically. so you have that to look forward to! exciting!

and a bucket list. i think i might add that somewhere around here.

i also need to clean up tags and categories. how do you guys use them? do you use categories? do you use tags when you should use categories or vice versa? that’s what i do. and i need to get it straightened out. and the more i blog and less i straighten it out, the longer it’s going to take me.

annnnd just to make sure we end this little blog on a happy note, a lovely quote to end this rambling nonsense:

“If you don’t have a sense of humor, then you probably don’t have any sense at all.” ~ Unknown

Yeah.

wow.

happy new year!

time for the obligatory year-in-review post. doin’ it bloggy style.

um. ew.

January

♥ purchased the domain http://www.bigskygirl.com which is where you are now. exciting!

♥ won my first “blog” award and paid it forward.

♥ wrote my first super-deep blog post.

February

♥ one of my faves, the amazing Jersey Queen came to visit for a week.

♥  yeah that was preeeeetty much it.

March April May

♥ wrote another mildly deep blog post about what i wanted to be when i grew up.

♥ made several excuses about why i wasn’t blogging.

♥ kept swearing to return.

♥ kept not returning.

♥ did write a guest post for Mandy’s “lasting impressions” series.

June

♥ took a big ol’ blogging break.

July

♥ family vacay to Glacier Park.  Made several videos of all the cool crap we saw. They are not showing up for some reason.

♥ started really getting in to photoshop and decided to make myself a new header every month.

♥ started working on roomie’s save the date cards and wedding programs.

August

♥ turned 26. aka old.

♥ wrote a super fun post about things i love.

♥ did the naked!face blog.

♥ wrote about my once-paralyzing fear of escalators.

♥ august was a good month, apparently.

September

♥ went to the big D to see this kid for a few days.

♥ had lots of guest bloggers.

October

♥ started meme-tastic monday.

♥ plugged my bff/web-designer’s charity project.

♥ talked about paying it forward.

♥ squicky facebook experiences.

♥ someday sara evans might have a restraining order against me.

♥ participated in my first 20sb blog swap.

November

♥ started food day friday.

♥ lost my dad’s bff to a stroke. still tough to think about.

December

♥ completed 4 of the 31 best of ’09 prompts.  oops. guess i’ll just go back and do more later.

♥ changed meme-tastic monday to manic monday. aka day of randomness.

Blogging Resolutions for 2010

♥ be more active on 2osb.

♥ comment more.

♥ mark as read less.

♥ pretend like i blog.

Wishin all of you a wonderful 2010.  May it bring everything your little hearts desire.

xoxo,

bsg

my reader was backed up as usual one day and i happened to check her blog to find this:

Life happened. I’m on an indefinite blogging break.

I dm’d her on twitter to find out what was going on.  no answer. so i started praying and hoping and sending all the good vibes i could.

today i got my answer.

and now i want you guys to read about what’s going on in the magical brandy’s life, and send her a little of YOUR magic, please.

brandy, i am still praying and hoping and sending all the good vibes i can. heart you, lady.

xoxo,

raeleigh

~~~

My name is brandy. And I have a blog.

And a plea.

I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.

He’s a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He’s the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He’s the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He’s a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He’s made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He’s listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.

The holidays have hit us hard. He’s recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He’s the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I’m overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.

As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren’t sure what’s happening. He’ll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what’s going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as ‘brandy’s hot awesome dude’). If you don’t pray, please keep him in your heart. This cancer is only a possibility and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.

I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven’t seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).

I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I’m throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn’t a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It’s just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven’t already? Please tell someone you love them today.

I did.

projects.

i seem to have a new one at the office every day. the biggest one i started i’m still working on, so i can’t really talk about it.

but when i get it done, you guys will be the first to know.

promise.

new people.

hmm, thought i.

it’s funny, people think i’m really outgoing.

and i guess i am, to an extent.

but i’m one of those people who’s much MORE outgoing once you get to know me.

i don’t like crowds.

ESPECIALLY crowds of people i don’t know that well or have never met.

euuyuck.

and honestly, it’s something i need to work on in therapy.

note to self: get therapy/therapist.

i think it stems from some sort of issues i have from being the little chubby girl in class.

i think i am subconsciously worried that no one will like me.

um. yeah. was kind of hoping to have grown out of that by now.

so. segue.

there’s this thing in vegas next year, that you may have heard of — a little bloggy get together.

i tried to convince ash to go with me so i’d have someone there that i knew. a security blanket.

no dice.

some song and dance about her first wedding anniversary, blah blah blah.

courtney! i thought. she looooves meet ups.

nope.

two friends getting married.

i know all about that. it’s spendy.

so i guess my un-sung heroes (or heroines, in this case) are the wonderful ladies who are trying their best to convince me to bite the bullet and throw myself into a room full of strangers/best friends for life, like rachel and wishy.

my favorite was the email from wishy: You’re coming to the Bloggy Vegas thingamajiggy, riiiiiight?

to that i say, i don’t know yet. but it means the world to me to be asked.

i am so sorry.

oh, the holidays.

i’m not sure how i manage to get so behind, but i shall blame it on that.

anyblah. (see the rest of the best 09 bloggers here.)

car ride.

my dad used to always tease me about how if the car was running, i was in it. i was always up for a car ride as a kid, and i’m the same way to this day. it’s my therapy. i love driving around with my dad and shooting the breeze, or riding up front visiting with my mom on family vacation while my dad pretends to pout in the backseat.

as much as i love those car rides, i also love the ones with my bff, Steph. she’s a smoker (i knooooow. i wish she’d quit) and when i’d be home from college i’d hang out at their house at least one night of the weekend. she’d always ask me to come outside and “second-hand smoke” with her. when i’m home we’ve also been known to drive around and smoke (again, only second-hand for me, mom) and drink pepsi. we’re weird, i know. anyway, told you that story to tell you this one: after my dad’s best friend passed away, i called steph (bawling, of course, because that was pretty much what we were both doing) and said “i just want to come home and drive around and SMOKE.”  so we made plans to do just that.  after all the stress and drama of the funeral on saturday, we made plans with our other friend Stace and drove around and talked about everything under the sun.  it was wonderful and amazing and cathartic.

there is no one better in a crisis than that girl. love her.