Seeking Wholeness

Basic Training

2018-02-18T14:25:00.000-05:00

Drill sergeants are aptly named.

Their purpose in life is to drill a hole into every raw recruit that steps off the bus that Mom and Dad said goodbye to yesterday, to drill a hole right into their hearts and stick their hard-ass tongues into the hole and suck out every last drop of humanity that every young innocent who arrives to stand shakey-legged in front of them like the proverbial "deer in the headlights" stand staring.. blinking at the unknown force coming right at their faces, sometimes only inches away.

Frill sergeants.. also known as "D.Is" (drill instructor).
How can anyone forget those hats that the DI wears. Those straight brimmed, cocked forward, no-nonsense and unflappable hats? Somehow all authority lies in those hats, just under those damnable hats.

If previously Mom and Pops taught you that a benevolent God watched from Above I can assure that a malevolent one surely of near equal in power over your earthly judgements stood before you now... under that damn hat.

I arrived at Ft. Leonardwood, Missouri along with a bus load of other guys. There were no young things, young ladies for any of us to try to talk with.. just guys. Guys with grand heads of hair rivaling the Beatles in the early days. We all knew we were going to shorn of our beauty locks of hair and then who would we be?

As it so often is, whenever there are no females within proximity of guy in a group, inevitably we revert to our raw guy group ways.
Loud, foul-mouthed, stupid for some, familiar behavior we had honed to perfection by 6th grade, some of us with a natural bent toward silence sunk further into our equally hned to perfection of self-protection and withdrawel.
But each and every one of us hiding our apprehensions in the best way we knew of what lie ahead once we arrived at our destination in the heartland.

The bus pulled into a large gate with guards.
Armed guards with m-16 rifles strapped to their shoulders. Little did I know that I too would so soon be hefting one of the "kill sticks" as well.
Well so what, I think? Being raised on a farm, rifles and shotguns were entirely familiar to me. Country boys are well known for being able to knock the head off a sitting sparrow at a hundred paces.
I was no different.

With the slightest of grin from one of the guards, as though he knew all to well what we "civilians" were in for, opened that those big gates (to hell) and waved us on through.

The process of filling up the emptiness with absolute obeyance as a dog can be trained to obey without asking why is the DI's job. It's what he gets payed for. He has come to enjoy his job of power over the endless line of smart-ass boys in men's bodies with all that hair, the crowning badge of individuality.
In "Basic Training" there is no individuality. In Basic Training there is no democracy but only the chain of command, orders from Above and coming down like heaps of hot coals upon the poor pre-solder's head.
You don't ask why.. you just do what you are told ..or else. The threat of "or else" never leaves your options.

We disembarked from our bus and stood in a heap with our small bags. Someone who was not a "hat" put us all into some kind of order, several small lines formed and all of facing forward, alphabetically according to our surnames.
Soon another solder with stripes on his shoulders came forward to give us an overview of what was about to happen.
We were led to a barricks, one of large and long 3 story buildings that would be our homes for the next two months.
I was installed on the first floor along with many others who had also arrived that day from all parts of the midwest. When all the buildings were filled with recruits this would be our Company that we train with and compete with.

Hardly any time at all had passed before those of us who had just arrived were being herded back outside in front of the barracks and into our loosely ordered small group.
Somehow word spread between us what was coming next: the dreaded HAIRCUT!

40 seconds.

That's how long we each sat under the barber's buzz.
They start at the front, just above the forehead and draw their electric clippers back.
Row upon row, front to back, front to back, first to the right then to the left. buzz cuts for all.
Then up the back of the head all the way around until all of that individuality lay upon the floor with the mounds and mounds of other individualities. Gone. I have begun to be gone.
We each walk outside, running our hand over the top of our heads, false smiles and feeling the coolness on our nearly bare scalps.
Not having that lock of hair just sitting there on my forehead made my eyes feel exposed even. I'm blinking and squinting.
My "I"ness has taken it's first real hit. Something vital has just now been lost and it lays there on the floor, being stepped on and kicked around by the barber who has long since stopped being a some one. He and his little buzzing machine have become one with each other.

Back to the barracks.. back to "home". What next...? The day was getting long. I can't keep from touching my head. I'm glad they are giving us caps.
Olive drab baseball caps.

Every day is like Sunday

2011-07-30T17:00:00.007-04:00

Where has all my previous desire to blog gone?
For those of you who still occasion to check back to see if I've posted anything I do apologize.
Gone, gone, gone. I seem to be gone from the world of blogging stuff.

The creative interest that I once had in posting blog entries, videos, photographs, has quite subsided to a bare whisper of yester-years.
Everything changes and a season for each change I suppose. As the Moodys once sung, "Isn't Life strange?"
Each breath truly is a step in time.

Now, lest all this sound maudlin and moody I assure you dear reader that that is not the case!
All is well with me indeed. Quite well in fact. Better than well even. Should I go on?

Excruciatingly ordinary by all accounts (and the ordinary does not exactly generate interesting blogging) but it is with this ordinary life that a kind of wonder has crept up from behind and enveloped me with its magic.

It's a subtle kind of wonder energized by my age no doubt (66.. I think) and an understanding that comes with growing old and growing older and then growing even older still, an understanding that.. we all take our turns at this thing we call Life.
I've taken mine, to be sure it's mostly done (smiling) although I've got a bit of a ways to go no doubt.

I remember thinking as a young teenager "Wow! I have my whole life ahead of me". And I did have my whole life ahead of me. Now, most of my "time" is behind me!
Wot Happened?!
Where'd it all go?
If I was a little pot-bellied buddhaI would be jiggling my fat little jelly-belly with laughter at that. hahaaaa..

But endings do arrive finally. I like to think of it as "graduating".

Well.. so.. here we are. Here I am. There you are. tat tvam asi -Thou art that
Everything spins around and becomes it's opposite.
Routine become freedom.
Boredom becomes wonder.
Doing nothing becomes doing everything.
The common becomes the miraculous.
With a sharp intake of breath, Little Guy falls from Above to be caught safely in cupped hands of Love.
I am reminded (again) of the first line of a poem, "Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence."
Self awareness is grown, one breath, one step, one life at a time.

...and so it all goes... :-)bill

Teaching The Daughter To Fly

2011-04-01T09:06:00.005-04:00

When my daughter Brie was visiting me here on the old Iowa family farm a short time ago... I decided that she was old enough now, and also.. that it was time for me to reveal a long and closely guarded family secret to her:
..that sometimes members of our bloodline inherit the incredible ability to actually levitate.

Neither my mother nor my father could do this unusual feat, however there has been handed down through the generations an old story about my now-long-gone Aunt Pearl (on my mother's side) who used to be able to jump farther than anyone.. In fact she could, uh.. 'jump' so much so, to such a great distance, that people of her generation avoided her, thinking that she was part-witch, or some other superstitious foolishness. She died alone many, many years ago.. poor old Aunt Pearl.. never finding love nor having any children of her own... cursed by the narrow minded paradigm of her generation.

Early on in my life (if any of you have been tracking my blogging in which I previously revealed to the world this ability of mine), I discovered as a youngster that I too had inherited this incredible power to actually lift my self off the ground and float in any direction or height that I wished. It has been something, this ability of mine to fly ...that I have up until now.. kept as a closely guarded family secret, revealing it to no one other than my own mother, when I was a child. And.. for almost the whole of my daughter's life, I have known that she too inherited this astounding ability to lift-off the ground.. Since day-one, I had always watched her closely wondering "what-if.." and one day it came.. when she was just learning to walk as an 18 month old.. she too lifted off the floor several inches. I quickly and gently pushed her back down, shaking my head "no".. Fortunately we were alone at the time.. and no one else saw what she had done. From that moment on I kept a "eagle's eye" on her life.. but she never did it again... and I suspect had long forgotten the whole incident.

Fast-forward 18 years to the present...
Daughter visits her old man on the ancient family farm here in Iowa.

After a lengthy conversation with her explaining all of this.. and revealing it all to her wide-eyed wonderment and amazement, we both agreed that now was the time for her to consciously try her hand at it herself.. to see if she could do it.. and experience for herself this unique capability of ours.
We had some breakfast, and headed out into the yard on a lovely spring morning in March, where I could further explain the theory and demonstrate the complete technique to her..

I lifted off first to show her exactly how it was done.. demonstrating to her the particulars of being in a certain "frame of mind" (although it really is a certain frame-of-beingness).. that allows a perfect state of limbo-like stasis between two opposing energy forces, the earth below and the sun above... sensing both these incredible forces "as-one". Then, the subtle shifting of emphasis from one energy pull to the other.. thus allowing actual movement of the body in between these two forces.
After I finished my own demonstration (and LOTS of talk on my part), we decided it was time.. after all these years.. it was finally time for her to experience this family-phenomena. Following my explicit instructions.. and a little energy help from the old man.... well.. as you all see..

O yeah!!!! You got it!!! Rock and Roll, daughter! rock and roll....

After a couple of short "runs" with me below and being her safety net, we decided it was time for her to try it completely on her own.. I stood back, grabbed the camera and took the next photo.. AND having to emphasize to her more than once, "don't get cocky!.." (kids love driving parents up-the-frickin'-wall with their stunts!) and..bruises from an ill-performed energy-shift are not fun! (of this I know all to well.)

..but I could tell already.. she's got style and she's got grace and it would not be too long before she would be out-performing-to-perfection her old pops.. doing things that I would never have dared even to try..
After "playing" for awhile in the yard.. lifting off no more than a few feet because of trees and electric lines overhead, we decided to walk down into the corn field and away from all overhead obstructions, where we could move on to the next lesson... one that seriously ramped-up the danger level.

I talked a great deal to her about the fear that would be felt when one is a hundred feet off the ground! .. and that this fear, if you let it.. well, it can kill you. As for myself, being quite experienced from years of multiple lifts throughout my life, I no longer feel any fear whatsoever... and occasionally I go way-high.. if the weather is good enough to do so.. (no wind is important.. and night is better, in that no one can see me.. and spin out of their minds from seeing a body floating around way up there in mid-air). I informed her that she was to concentrate fully on keeping "in-line" with the energy fields.. and not how high she was going... and that it was exceedingly vital to subdue the fear of being high.. if she was to maintain this position of freedom and not come crashing down sideways like an out-of-control kite. I gave her the camera and showed her exactly how to do it.
She was dumbfounded.. and yelled up at me to "not go so high.. come back down!"
..and so I did.. But I had to laugh at her.. I think it freaked her just a little, my going up that high.

But now the real test was at hand. She was apprehensive to be sure... and rightfully so. (as was I.) but I said "as soon as you feel the fear, let up.. and you'll come right back down... just don't get cocky!"..
Confidence with practice is good.. but false confidence can kill you if you're not careful.. know the difference.
Now... now.. it was her time to try... "You'll be fine.." said I "just keep the energy lines straight!"

As she lifted off and up, I could see she was beginning to waver off to the right side, and I yelled up at her to "straighten it up!".. she yelled back down to me "poppeee!!.. I don't like this!" I managed to get off one picture as she gently came back down to the ground...a little spooked for sure.

"hmmm" I said..."I think that this is enough for one day."
And so we walked back to the house... to make some hot chocolate..
in silence..
two wonderful smiley-faces, ear to ear...
and a day in the Life to remember...
Isn't it all just grand!

...and may all we Fools everywhere..
(even you, dear reader..)
have just the grandest of all Aprils.. and beyond.

(we deserve it.)

:-Dbill

QUACK! QUack! Quack.. quack....qua..

2011-02-26T11:40:00.001-05:00

As I look back upon my 58 year journey thru time and life on this, our Island in the Sky.. I see that there are times when all my little Priority-Duckies tend to realign themselves into this nice & neat & pretty row of what is really important.

I have helped two people, dear to my own life, to die.

Lying on a mattress on the floor by the deathbed of one ..as his heart raced and with shallow breaths in the pre-dawn hours of this his last day on earth, I myself, in that restless half-sleep state.. dreaming ..maybe dreaming.. of 'seeing' him lying there..then..spirit body lifting out, sitting up and out of his own cancer-ridden guts.. freaking me into ordinary waking-up-ness where I could no longer see anything with my ordinary eyes but the semi-darkened room, the bed.. the body still prone and laboring like a locomotive trying to climb a steep grade.. his wife and partner in life now also wide awake from my fearful dream yells.
My friend whom I had known since high school and went on many a mountain hike with, now still there..lying flat and speechless, heart chugging still against inevitable odds.. breaths in short gasps, only to all "let go" itself a short while later.

Then comes the weeping..
and the crying from our own spirits who have been holding our own breaths as we waited for the end and the relief for everyone involved with this supremely ordinary event..
Incredible consciousness in our movements setting in after they come and take the body away on a stretcher...more tears. Patti crying "I'm never going to see you again!" as the men in black bang the stretcher through the doorway.
We walk to the couch and sit... then to the window... to the fridge.. I get telephone duty to let others know of his passing. Then bed stripped, and put in the laundry. This great emptiness of a bed that so long held sovery much love.
Clean it all up, almost as if nothing had just happened.. as if nothing had just now happened!
Ever the question of the moment of "what to do now?" hanging around our necks like the infamous albatross. What to do now? that does not appear to be totally absurd... is most certainly absurd to what has just happened. Nothing of course can be done, or said that is not totally absurd.. for all things that we do and talk about are absurd. So we drive to a small restaurant with water nearby..somewhere near a docking pier. I still remember from all those years ago..getting out of the car..Patti, Judy, myself.. the sublime and nothing human act of getting out of a car and walking across that parking lot in total silence.. no weeping.. no insanities.. just heavy silence and pure, thoughtless awareness.. stripped bare all lives cloaked in absurdities, especially those whom we meet at the entrance of the restaurant and politely hold the door open for them to go in first, polite smiles all around.. and ...little priority-duckies all in a nice and pretty row.
I ordered a bowl of soup.
It was good.

..and then again...at the foot of the bed of my own dying mother.. holding onto her feet.. I watch her sunken face, now nothing like I had ever known for the entirety of either of our lives, taking that one, that single next-to-the-last breath and letting it out with a great sigh... then unexpectedly 30 seconds later.. still one more time, this time truly was the last breath of her long 80-plus years of her life. all done. all done now. it's all done.
I leave the room and go to the kitchen, find a spray bottle of Windex and a roll of paper towels and go upstairs and washed windows for the next two hours, sometimes barely being able to see which ones I had cleaned and which ones I had not cleaned. It didn't really matter anyway.. as I moved through the memories of childhood and teenager-hood and beyond.. always this person who had given to me this absurd life with ever a smile on her face.. always the champion of unconditional support for my own perhaps somewhat bizarre individuality, always a support for my own well-beingnesss, at times even at the expense of her own. Still.. it has all come down to this.. this is what I do in life now.. I..wash..windows. What else is there to do but wash windows? What more important thing in life, in my life than to wash windows?

Incredible absurdities, all these things we do in our passing lives.

..and again.. there it is.. that blazing consciousness standing aside, like a small sun standing aside from the earth itself.. detached from that idiot over there cleaning the dumb shit windows.
Of all the stupid things we humans do, that we consider important, why not clean windows?

Little priority-duckies all again in their nice and pretty row. What is important is again clearly delineated in my spirit.
I know, having clean windows is somewhat down on the list of importance... yet still I spray and wipe, wipe and spray.. little squeaky glass noises are my symphony playing to the act flowing tears and I there..being the conductor, stick in hand and conducting it all, in charge of it all with paper towel, round and round and round we all go..up and down, and all around, inside and out.. squeak, squeak..I, now once again the maestro of my own fate.. clean windows are important too, are they not?

I stand aside from my self and watch me there, participating in the grandest symphony of them all. The most absurd symphony of them all. The symphony of simply being alive, moving along with time.. each breath a step closer to either The Light or The Dark.. this thing ahead that so many have gone to already before me.. "The Great Perhaps" ahead.. right up there ahead.. can you see it? I can... for the moment.

Then again.. the days before and after my own 15 year old beloved daughter must go into that insurance paid-for house of repair, and climb with great apprehension and upon the surgeon's table so that he may cut an 18 inch swath of blood and parting flesh with his razor, then screw into her young growing spine those great bolts and rods of titanium, before pasting the whole concoction of steel and blood and backbone and blended stolen rib into a proper straight path... as nature, fucking nature.. should have done in the first place if it had a halfpenny's worth of sense.
No 15 year old (or her parents) should ever have to go through that. ever! ..and that created conflict of the soul I have yet to reconcile to myself, thus I will speak of it no more, lest I not finish this.

Little priority-duckies.. There they are... all in a row again. At least, until I am able to cover them up once more in time and days flowing by with those zillions of absurdities of paying bills and vacuuming the floors and what-to-have-for-dinner, which we all do and then talk about... endlessly talk about.. needing desperately to keep the real stuff of being alive, those things that have bloodied up and bowed us into twisting submission, to keep them all-as-one ball of painfulness, all hidden and secret in a corner of a little box in our soul, away from display lest we feel all the pain of being alive and then making supreme fools of ourselves in public and what will people think? if we breakdown in the middle of a conversation about football or politics or religion.

Still.. I must ask but I expect no answer..don't really even want one one anymore.., but is a whole evening's conversation about corn and soybeans and beef production and sports and which computer's are better, Macintosh or PCs, or the latest movie, or what Bush is not doing right, or how much money this or that is all about.. is all that really so damn important?
I say that definitely it is necessary. It is what we are about.. on our surface. We care.. Goddamn we care!.. about which corporation will win the freakin' Super Bowl. These Masks we wear are necessary to keep us safe from the real terror of the situation at hand, from breaking down at every moment and the twisting of our lives, each breath a step closer to the Light or to the Dark, that only the disingenuous and truly asleep have the great and ever faithful egos to declare which it shall be!

In truth the absurdities of it all are necessary but they not important.. It doesn't matter who wins the Super Bowl (guys) and it doesn't matter if your boobs hang down like a couple of old limp dish rags (gals) and increasing strands of grey appear on our tops. None of it is this huge priority that we assign to it.
My little priority-duckies are, for the moment at hand, again.. all in a row.

There is a heavenliness in Letting Go of these things. Deaths of people in my life have triggered the release and a great Consciousness appears within. This freedom in "letting go"..the peaceful falling backwards of something inside.. spiritual "hands in the air" and just simply getting to the other side of our own human conflicts.. This freedom has nothing (and yet still everything) to do with these zillion-and-one absurdities we are so attached to... but cannot get beyond except for occurring trauma. Perhaps for a moment in endless time we have escaped Great Nature's little trick to keep us attached to the small lest we see the terror of the situation and the end of our own time, drawing one step closer with each breath we take.

What is really important? Of course, I am and you are.. that is what is important. ..and Stop right there!

Our opinions? naaa,, they don't really mean Jack. What we do with our time? whether we wash windows or spend all of our semi-awake moments of this journey thinking of ways to maximize our profit margin.. well.. all of that stuff is just... stuff. It's how we all choose (using the term loosely) to use our short time here on This Island in space, ..social masks firmly in place to our Tribe Mates and to ourselves.. priorities forgotten in the eternal rush to get stuff done..make more money..keep occupied and entertained, our duckies are skewed all over the place keeping quiet. Quiet that is, until Life Itself cracks it's little whip over sleeping heads and wakes one up..for one terrible moment of loss and we stand aside from our absurd little selves there in our absurd little lives.. endlessly repeating the dance to some unknown piper.. duckies all uncovered now and realigned in a nice and pretty row as they should be.

Ach!
My mind has again escaped from it's box with this post.. I need to put it back into the box, arms crossed and sit on the lid, I'm sure you will all agree.. Back dog back! Into your box with you, you mangy barking bitch cur.

Maybe there is something better on TV.

Florida Adventure 2011 wrap-up

2011-02-22T08:00:00.017-05:00

We're not in Florida anymore... ..Dorothy boy.

Wrapped up is right!
I just snapped this, this morning ago out in front of the apartment building here in DC.
Brrrrrrr! Cold! Ice!
hurty fingers!
(click to increase my misery)

Ok... Florida was all fun. And I do love driving the Interstate Highways especially in the mornings.. heater below, cracked window above and a Grande Starbucks by my side all giving me wings to fly.
Maybe I should plan another mini-adventure but west of the Missouri next time.

Anyway...
Thanks again to all of you in Florida who put up with me.. you all did wonderful in providing me with lots of "fried chicken" hospitality, comfy beds and endless laughs (still laughing out loud at.. "dinner?" :-D ). And you are all invited to stay in my back bedroom (not all at once!) here in Washington should the spirit move you to do so. I'm a good tour guide. (but remember, 3 nights max ;-)

Below is a hodgepodge of video and stills I took on my 18-day excursion into the sun.
I finally found the time to put it all together.
The show is a long 7.5 minutes. Deadly long for amateur web videos, but I cut and slashed as much as I could.
Seven and a half minutes! Can you stand it?! Go pee and make some popcorn.

First one below is Hi-def for the well-connected. Smaller one below it is for computers of a lesser god. Same stuffings in both. Well, you know the drill. Sound on and up for Satchmo singin' his song.

So there we are. I'm digging in for the rest of winter with nothing on my calender.
If any of you reading this are not on my adventuring email notification listserve and would like to be, send me an email request. I'm at bbouslaugh/gmail.

So Happy Trails to all. And to all of you gaggle of readers I so do appreciate your passing interest! Without you, doing these little personal blogs would not be anywhere near the fun that it is for me. So... thank you!

Sir Wilbur of the House of Cornfed (along with the spirit of our Pioneer Princess)

The Call of the Barn

2011-02-20T11:50:00.021-05:00

I got to change my ways.

For those who have been checking this poor blog to see if there have been any more of those promised daily updates from my adventure to Florida.. and have been righteously disappointed.. well, I really do need to change my ways on blogging about any future adventures into the lands of who-knows-where.

Again it happened.
I start off on the journey all whoop-de-doo taking pics and videos and writing my worthless tripe for all to shake your heads at.. but then as I encounter people along my way, it just all wusses out.
Truth be told (again) and verified without doubt is that I cannot post entries while I am with other people. There is simply not enough quiet time, alone time, to edit photos and video and tell the tale of my travels.
Doesn't work.
So, as the song goes, "I got to change my ways" in this blogging thing.
I really do enjoy it and knowing that a bunch of you are reading it and hopefully getting a small bit enjoyment out of it is just frosting-on-the-cake for me.

So.. future journeys... I WILL.. I WILL (got that?) schedule in between visiting folks full days solitude (at campgrounds) where I can be left alone and catch up on everything. I would like that. You would like that. I will make it happen.. Intention and planning ahead will do it.

After my stay with Bob and Francie in Venice and having been on the road for 18 days I felt "the calling of the barn".. For those of you with no kind of farm background it means like a herd of cattle (or horses) at some pre-determined moment in the late afternoon the animals all turn tail, pick up their grazing speed and head back to the barn for the evening. Creatures of habit as am I.
So it was for me as well. The DC Nest was calling me loud and clear.
I-95 North, where the hell are you! Oh, there you are! Let me climb on your back and fly like an eagle!

Today is Sunday. I pulled into the condo garage Thursday night and I am just now finding the time to put this entry together before going into my usual blogging hibernation in a few days.

More to come tomorrow after I edit the photos
Smaller screens click thumbnail to view full background image

Texas Table

2011-02-08T10:25:00.012-05:00

Now what kind of joker made this picnic table?!
At first I did not notice how high it was from seat to table-top. But then after I fixed a bowl of cereal and sat down... well let's just say that if I was but a few inches shorter I would have been able to set my chin on it. Certainly not kid-friendly.

Not only that but it slopes.. as you see in the photo the right side has been built shorter than the left side. It's like.. totally cock-eyed.
hmmm govenment campgrounds.. government furniture.

oh well... it works, aesthetics be damned.

It was hot and windy yesterday and reminded me of Iowa summers. Not pleasant and I found myself running the air conditioner while traveling around Sebring. Rain came through last night so that did cool things down a bit.

As you see I have nothing fancy to report today so far but will bug you all with an email notice anyway. (If any non-subscriber reading this wants on my subscriber list email me at bbouslaugh/gmail.)

Here's the video of the day:

..and the Photo of the Day:

Ok, time for a late breakfast then I am off to the Atlantic ocean again for one last night with relatives in Hobe Sound.

Here's to New Friends!

2011-02-06T09:02:00.010-05:00

For two days now I've have holed up in South Miami with Pilar, Mickey, Mary, Nic and Orso (the dog). My gracious hosts have not yet kicked me out but alas I am feelin' the pull of the road and will shortly leave this little corner on their Florida Paradise.

Here's the clip of the day: (23 seconds)

I've taken the kayak out onto the canal for a meditative run on the water and may have a hour to do so again this morning before packing my wagon and heading out onto the road. I have yet to decide whether to travel further south.. or east.. or north.
I'll make that decision when the moment comes to do so and my angels tap me on the shoulder and point this-a-way, bub.
The important thing is to keep moving.. keep exploring.. meet up with new things and with great luck pick up some new friends. You can never have too many real friends.
Indeed, where would we be without our friends?

Image of the Day:

Beachin' weather (Day 5)

2011-02-04T12:42:00.004-05:00

But of course we made it to the beach and much to my surprise SOME Florida beaches are not just repetitious exercises in flat, boring, sandy sameness.
Shoes off, wading, beach combing (no luck) even some solitary sitting and... breathing in the ocean air which bore with it just a faint hint of that fishy, salty and seaweed smell. (If ocean odors are not too overbearing, I do like it.)

Video of the Day: (2+minutes)

Background Picture of the Day:

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

Leaving for Miami in about an hour with an overnight stay at friends and then I'm off to hunt 'gators in the swamp. .. or something.
Not sure yet of the plan but then again I kind of like that.

Florida Day 4

2011-02-02T22:45:00.007-05:00

I lost day 3..

Arrived in Hobe Sound last night.. lots of talk, talk, talkie-talk with sister, nephew and Kari and 3 year old Alex so I really had no time or energy to blog an entry. I have found a bit of time at the moment so will do my best to edit some photos and maybe chirp out some newsy news. (or if nothing else just make it up!) Those of you have read me before know that sometimes (occasionally) I do stretch the absolute truth because I find it fun to do so. I mean the whole point of this blog writing is to have fun for everyone.. me writing / you reading.

Two things (at least!) I want to do from now on.. even on busy social days such as this is to post a short "Video of the Day" lasting only a minute more or less and also post a "Photo of the Day" as a background image. (scroll all the way to the bottom and it should present itself in all it's glory. Not all images are going to fit perfectly all computer screens.. that's just the way it is.. so I will optimize the photo to fit my laptop's screen and also post a little thumbnail that you can click on to see the whole photo should you want to.
Ideally I can post commentary as well but when I'm around people and we're talking and doing, well.. I just can't.

Today's photo of the day is one I got yesterday as I was cruising around Daytona Beach. I passed the "place of business" and it's sign and about a block or two later the humor of it started to "sink in" to my little turtle brain.. so I circled around the block to get a picture.
So, today's "Picture of the Day" even though I took it yesterday is called "Biggins".
Sometimes humor takes a while...
Here's a thumbnail of the image. I found it to tickle my funny-bone, so to speak.

Tomorrow I will start fresh with both a quickie video of the day as well as a new photo of the day.
Miami tomorrow.

Florideee: Day 2 on the road

2011-02-01T14:37:00.006-05:00

Perfect weather for traveling down I-95. Both days. Flat gray skies, traffic-lite, a starbucks Venti coffee that I can make last for 2 hours in the morning, heat from below, window open a bit (cold from above), only the sounds of the road and I am reminded how I do love driving... especially in the morning freshness.
The road, the road, the road. The only thing I am dissatisfied with is the Road Food. Do they all deliberately try to make it all so bland, dry, greasy and just bad???
I'm beginning to think they do. A hot bowl of creamed Kudzu would be more satisfying.

I am currently sitting in the back of the truck/camper at the first Florida Welcome Center. Lucky luck, luck! Their WiFi is strong so I can begin my 2 weeks of silliness in fine form.

And pity all of you fine folks who make up my "fried chicken" stops for you are all doomed to play some kind of humiliating part as a reluctant participator. Ladies, put on that make-up. Gents, suck that belly in. I'm gonna make you a star!

Tonight I plan on finding a camping spot and mingle with the other Snowbirds then tomorrow it's off to Hobe Sound for a stay with family.

Glad I'm not in that little snowstorm goin' on up north. Yesiree bubba.

ps: video doesn't load in well at this rest stop.. slow load.
Hopefully it's working better for you at home.

3 Years Gone

2011-01-30T06:36:00.002-05:00

Today is the 3rd year anniversary of our Patti's passing.

Reading over my previous entries I realize that little more can I say about it. Unrelenting Time keeps moving us along.
We get better.

All things.. they are what they are.
This is life. We each take our turns at it, for better or for worse until the parting of ways.
This year I will practice more the concept of Savoring.. for all things are in process... the disappearance of one thing as it becomes another thing, all and everything, small and great, in some kind of monumental transitioning "dance in time" toward becoming Whole. (hence the title of this poor blog)

And after that? Who knows.. maybe there is no "after that", maybe we do just disappear and all these experiences and relationships formed in a lifetime are just quietly forgotten.
On the other hand, maybe not and the process toward wholeness continues never really reaching the End.
Infinity is a bit too much to comprehend this early in the morning.
A cup of coffee is more the speed.

But Time does tend to mend holes in hearts as all of us who have lost others we love know to be true. It must heal lest we become some dark and pitiful abberation of nature which even nature has little use for in its own Grand Process.

Still and all, not without scars and caution as all of us continue to learn about ourselves and living (or at least trying to live) at what is important to each one of us.
Fascinating are the changes, the "spaces", the process we may find ourselves in. So many ways of seeing. So many attitudes.

I'm turning 66 tomorrow.. I am reminded of a line from one of my favorite movies "Meet Joe Black" in referencing the years of one's life... "..don't they go by in a blink?".
They certainly do. Here one moment..
Savor the moment when an angel taps your shoulder and says "Look! You Here! Grab hold of this before it vanishes!"...for it will be gone in a blink.

Somewhere just beyond savoring the thing at hand lies Wonder that can be grasped for a moment. Then, that too we are compelled to Let Go of lightly. The parting of the ways.
This practice of Savoring is the way to Wonder. Of that I am convinced.

* * *

I've decided to go on a little winter adventure to Florida. (can visiting Florida really be called an adventure?! ) Ok, a nice safe adventure if "safe" and "adventure" are not too oxymoron-ish.

My intention is, again, to make some pictures and video and of course put on a few entries here along with a teacup full of personal philosophy.
It's what I sometimes do but for the life of me I'm not really sure why.

My plan was to leave this morning, however because of a dream I woke up with awhile ago.. that at a gas station my truck was stolen as I was inside paying for the gas, I've decided that I may wait one more day, throw off the possible sequencing of events into a completely new line-of-time and experience and go tomorrow instead.
(yeah, I'm like that when I can be. I pay attention to early morning dreams. And I'm on no schedule that matters to others.)

On this 3rd anniversary of Patti's vanishing from this world and also in memory of all those who have journeyed on before us, I'll post the poem sent to me by Matthew & Family, during my time of loss 3 years ago today that has always struck me deep with hope.

“I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white
sails to the morning breeze and starts
for the blue ocean.

She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until at length
she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky come
to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says;
"There, she is gone!"

"Gone where?"
Gone from my sight. That is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull
and spar as she was when she left my side
and she is just as able to bear her
load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

And just at the moment when someone
at my side says, "There, she is gone!"
There are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad
shout;
"Here she comes!"

-Henry Van Dyke

Happy Birthday, Gramma

2010-12-10T12:48:00.002-05:00

Where ever you are..

Dec 10, 1908 ~ April, 1991

You know something's happening

2010-12-08T13:38:00.005-05:00

"but you don't know what it is... do you.. Mr Jones" ~ Bob Dylan

Recent trip to New York City to visit the Daughter. Video above says it all.

Also, I recently listened to a most interesting RadioLab podcast on "Memory and Forgetting". If you have the time in your busy life, give a listen.
bill

All in all you're just a..

2010-11-01T08:49:00.002-04:00

..nother brick in the wall...

Music artists doin' their stuff.

The Australian Pink Floyd is a tribute band. (no chance of ever getting the real Pink Floyd to ever play Washington, DC so we enjoy the next best thing.)

Here's a near 4-minute clip of their show that I attended a couple nights ago and below is some footage of Jon Stewart's Rally-for-Sanity on the DC mall. All fun stuff.

On this day

2010-10-26T06:58:00.003-04:00

Remembering a most fine day at on Ocean Beach, MD a few years ago.
The technical quality is not so hot as was my first camera and Quicktime skills not-so-hot.

If there would be one day out of the year that Patti's spirit would be visiting me (if ever she could) it would certainly be today.
I will spend the day in silence, removed from the world, listening... each breath a step in time.

Under new construction

2010-10-24T05:38:00.015-04:00

We'll see what presents itself to these pages as time goes on. I tire of my old ways of writing here. It now seems pointless to me.
Things change. Life exhales.

I do not know where this new journal writing will take me, if anywhere.

A couple of things to mention:

Regardless of what I write and photograph and video and post here, email notifications of new entries are finished.
I'm done with all that.
They've served their purpose for the kind of blogging I've been doing but that's enough.

Recently I had a complaint from a subscriber of my being too self-effacing and negatively oriented in my journaling here. That it was a bring-down.
I realized also that there is some truth in that, perhaps a great deal of truth in the complaint.
I've given it all a lot of thought over the last few weeks. It made me realize that if only one person was courageous enough to step up and tell me that then no doubt more than a few are feeling the same but are too polite to say so.

At first I thought that I should try to modify my thoughts on future entries, to edit them and pass them through some kind of "light, bright, happy & uplifting, G-rated, Walt Disney family-friendly-stand-up-and-cheer" filter on everything I post here so as not to bring down others who themselves may be struggling with their own pain and dark sides.

It sorta made sense to me because it's really unfair to others who read me that I add my "stuff" even more to their own contained pain.

But as these weeks have went by I began to think, "Oh screw that!".
My life is not some kind of single-sided, day-long exercise in sugary sweet cuteness reminiscent of a feel-good family movie.

I am indeed at times self-effacing. On occasion, I do think myself to be the "merde de au merde" (did I say that right?) and I do put myself down. (I like to think of it paying a debt to the easily angered God of Hubris lest he burn my ass for the other times of being a cocky-locky rooster.)
I have my dark sides and my weaknesses, my culturally-induced shame of serious lack of life accomplishments (Please don't ask again what I used to do for a living, how I make my money! ), all of which I can easily justify but still I'm not particularly proud of.

Who doesn't have their dark sides? Show me that soul and I'll show you one who walks in their sleep.
Life is not singular in neither form nor action but rather a most holy trifold, the Inner Triumvirate interacting for control... the forces of Light, the forces of Dark and the Willful (Holy Ghost) blending of the two giving rise to creation-renewed which itself becomes predominately Light or Dark.. and so it goes if not forever then a pretty damn long time, great and small waves of Time.

I believe the real question may simply be "Who do you trust?".
Who do we trust enough to share the real stuff with?.. and who won't betray that trust, or even try to "fix it" with quicky home remedy and worn-out cliche'. Indeed, do we even trust our own selves not to deceive. Protection in the forms of deception and diversion are means to the end game of ego-survival.
Do we trust another to handle-with-care? Do we trust ourselves to undress, arms held high and just Let Go?
Figure that out and we just might be able to give ourselves permission to move on toward renewed ascendancy in our journey through this world.

What a gift that could turn out to be.

As mentioned above, I do not know where this new journal writing will take me, if anywhere.
For better or for worse, up or down, light or dark..I'm just going to let it happen (or not).

~ bill (and patti)

Hi yo my giraffee! I am here, you are there.
We were not finished.

ADK2010: Journey's End

2010-10-10T11:55:00.010-04:00

I've been back home in DC for a time but now that my journey has ended I find I have great trouble finding the desire to do follow-up work on this last entry.
The trip was good. In and of itself it was enjoyable.
However the blogging about it I feel was a clear bust. Which was unfortunate.
It lessened my trip for me.

It seems that when I'm out in the field I'm naturally inspired to post entries of my miniature adventuring, and I was this time as well. It makes the solitary segments of my trips meaningful. However I found trouble posting entries this time because of the lack of electricity for my computer while camping.. the battery doesn't last long enough. (take a car charger next time, bopsy!) as well as borrowed WiFi often not working for me.

On-the-road blogging... knowing that friends and family are all "tuning in" only a few hours later from various parts of the country is fun for me and hopefully mildly entertaining for you. As I've mentioned to some of you before, in some weird way my writing, photographing and making videos takes the place of having Patti alongside me, and the two of us being naturally silly together as we enjoyed being so.

But after the journey is finished and I tire of being out and about without the laughs and interactions of friends..and I "turn tail" and head back to our "treetop nest", I lose all interest in continuing to write anything that is quickly becoming days and weeks old. Even now that I have mustered up some afternoon writing energy to throw out this one last entry, it is still a bit of a struggle. Old news and all that.

Anyway, now that I'm home and everything has been unloaded from the truck, washed, organized and put away and I'm back in the routine of ordinary life, I will try to post this one last entry of my little journey into the Adirondacks.

Btw, click on any of the thumbnails for the larger versions.

Here's a video mix of my kayaking Blue Mt Lake and Eagle Lake. It's a little over my self-imposed 3-minute video limit.

My next possible trip is to Florida in February. Maybe.
I know of at least 3 "fried chicken stops" that will entertain me for a night or two (ahh, Bob & Francie, Laraine & Don, my sister and Eric & Kari.. ) and who knows who else may invite me out onto their lanai for a couple of Happy Hours tipperies and a glass of laughter. What would we do without our friends?!

Anyway, until then I won't be sending out any email notifications should I occasionally make more postings. Those entries (if any) will probably be more of the inner journey through this world that we all find ourselves to be on. That is often what I would rather write about but sometimes they get a little too personal and never get posted. There are more than a few that have been filed away into that great psybernet Trash can.
Check back on your own from time to time should you find yourselves bored with everything Internet. On occasion I become quite happy to pile a little more of my own "stuff" onto that great waste-of-time and ever-growing pile of WEB dung.

Stay safe, be well and be happy.. as the bumper sticker on the back of Patti's car reads "For Happiness, Cherish Others"

A big Amen to that.

Launch! Lost! Oh Crap!

2010-09-22T11:03:00.011-04:00

I followed around the shore line of Lake Pleasant south of Blue Mountain a few days ago.

The idea was that if followed the shoreline I would circumnavigate the whole lake and end up back at my campsite.
Bad idea.
After about 4 hours of paddling and thinking that the campgrounds should be presenting itself at any time now, but was not presenting itself where I thought it would be, only more trees, I realized that I was a bit lost. (Can you be just a bit lost?)
It was about 4 pm and I still had not found the campgrounds and I was getting a little worried.
I knew that I was not in any real danger because there were occasional houses sprinkled here and there along the shoreline and that if worse come to worse I could always take out the kayak and ask for help.

I WAS in sheer danger of severe embarrassment though.

I kept on for another 45 minutes as the sky began to darken and then upon rounding a point I saw campers!

Ah, relief!

Offshore I yelled to one of them as to what number their campsite was and she shouted out "350, which one are you looking for?"
I replied "196"..
Another 10 minutes and was "home" and high and dry.

I took out the kayak and started my evening fire and Most Happy Hour beer.

Lesson learned. Pay attention to where you are because the shoreline can all begin to look the same when you are out on the lake.

Midway through the outing I come across a little sandy beach. I decided to make a short video of getting into the kayak and launching myself out into the lake.
HD:

Altogether I was out about 5 hours. Needless to say, my arm muscles were sore from the paddling for so long. Not used to that kind of upper body workout.

Blue Mountain Lake is up next. Can't get lost there. It's too small as well as being much prettier.

Slow Children Playing

2010-09-21T12:32:00.007-04:00

Scene of last week's young minds, aging bodies at play: Martha's Vineyard

At 65 I'm the "baby" of the group. But at a certain point in one's "sage-ing while age-ing" (ala crazy Shirley Maclaine) none of that makes a bit of difference.
Selma, Bob, Barbara and myself have most certainly all reached the age as you can tell by our childlike behavior, being idiots together along with nearly non-stop laughter. (got to sleep some time, ya know.)

As mentioned in the subscriber notice since parting company with my friends and to embark on the solitary part of my journey into the Adirondacks, I have had a difficult time trying to find WiFi that will upload video or an electrical socket to recharge the computer's battery. (NY State Campgrounds have neither.. only bears)
But in keeping on I think I've finally found a place where I can catch up on this journal a bit.

In the meantime here's the HD video of our days on the island. about 3 minutes I guess:

Currently holed up at The Hedges. The day started out perfect, blue skies, sunshine, so I got a cabin for the day thinking to go out onto the Blue Mountain Lake in the kayak. 90 minutes after I got here the rain moved in and is covering all and everything with it's slow wetness. This feels like it could last all day or perhaps for the rest of the year. We'll see how the day progresses. If I go out on the lake it will be a short outing since it's already after 2pm.

Here's a picture I took from my campsite this morning when things appeared whole lot cheerier.

Insufficient Data

2010-09-17T12:49:00.013-04:00

I think apologies to all may be due.
Been on the road for a whole week and I have to admit it has been next to impossible to find enough time to put together this next journal entry. Currently I’m holed up in a motel just on the southern edge of the Adirondack Park as cold rain is welcoming me.
I will travel further into the park in a couple hours and into the general direction of Blue Mountain Lake. I’m thinking seriously of getting another warm and dry motel for tonight. It’s not much fun camping when a heavy sky is pelting one with cold rain and then later climbing into a somewhat clammy sleeping bag in the back of a covered pickup truck for the night. If the sun refuses to bless me, that will at least give me more time to put together videos of this week of being on the road.
Except for hours mandated by body for sleeping it has been non-stop “doing” things with others. (and you all know how that goes!)
I’ll give a short recap of the last week.

I arrived at a large campgrounds in Massachusetts and near the Atlantic Ocean where my sister, nephew Eric and wife Kari and 3-year old Alex have been staying while they work the nearby Renaissance Festival. (They are Festival “roadies” and they have a large “5th wheel” trailer with all the amenities that you and I have in our homes, internet service, Sat dish, running hot water bath, kitchen etc., so it’s not like they are all squeezed into some soggy small tent and biting off one another's faces for the lack of space.

There is a certain vagabond sense in traveling and working the fairs all around the country that I do find somewhat magnetic because of my own past (which we won’t get into here) and I have to admit I am somewhat attracted to the life style. Certainly there is a sacrifice of creature comforts for the sake of movement and new experiences, not to mention making money. But that's always the case which is why workin' folks take vacations but with vacations one tends to spend more than making the $$s. Always there are trade-offs no matter what our life styles are.
Their next stop is Texas in October... then Florida for the winter fairs, then... well, even they don't know that far ahead.
Eh, they’re young and tough and haven’t been made soft and flubbery by a regular house and central air like I have. Again, I say it’s “all Patti’s fault!”. She made me go fluffy!

This was my first Renaissance Faire so I found it to be most interesting. Below is video of some of the action.
By the way, I’ve set myself the task of making videos NO LONGER than 3 minutes or the length of the chosen background song playing so as to hopefully maintain interest, without dragging things on and on for you. A lot of footage hits the “cutting room floor” with those self-imposed limits when I put together videos.
Anyway, here’s some fair samples:

Ok.. Martha's Vineyard images and video tomorrow. It's time for me to get back on the road.. still heading north, I think. I'm feeling a bit like a blind butterfly flitting this way and that hoping to fill up my sense of "now what?".

Here's the route I've taken so far. Wish me luck in finding open WiFi and sunshine. I'm thinking maybe to roll up and into Maine where I once-upon-a-time some 30 years ago I hiked up Mt Katahdin in Baxter State Park.
Not sure I'm ready to repeat my past because of my well-aged fluffiness!
:-D

Love is being stupid together

2010-09-10T06:52:00.005-04:00

..and so is camping in the Adirondacks!

Welcome aboard to all of you subscribers to my once-in-a-blue-moon online journaling.

At this moment I am about to step outside my door and again mix up my normal routine for the next couple of weeks.

A Renaissance Festival in Massachusetts and Martha's Vineyard are the first stops of the journey and the last stops of my relatively easy and clean days on the road. After that comes the plunge into the woods of the Adirondacks, just to see what comes to present itself round a solitary campfire. However, I'm not looking for night visits from any bears that roam around the park tearing apart tents and people.

As many of you know I've done this before, my September solitary camping journey into the Adirondack Mountains of New York.
A more-than-expected number of you recently signed up to "come along" this year, and that did surprise and please me greatly. I had hoped for only a half dozen or so audience-friends that would even be interested in my little fall presentations, silly and boring as they sometimes are.
You delighted me in "filling the house".

Connections, friends, caring.. these seeming small things are essential to all of us.
So I thank you each and all.

But on the other side of that, I'm no pro showman here and thus no promises as to the entertainment value forthcoming. I and the world in front of me are making it up as I go along.

Oh one thing before I close the door behind me in a few minutes, and that is about you, yes YOU!.. in making comments along our little journey for the next couple of weeks.

Well...the Truth may set us free but on the web nothing lets a person be themselves like anonymity when making comments.

I like comments.
All of us here enjoy reading other people's comments. But from prior blogging experience I know that folks reading my frivolities rarely make comment. Sometimes a few of you do. Mostly not.
Reasons?
I surmise one of two things: 'cause ya got nothing to say. I'm boring you to pieces and you could care less about any of it (certainly valid reasons. I feel that way about most everything I read online) ...or... you really don't want a whole bunch of other people who read what you've commented and then think what an empty-headed blooming idiot you are!
And that too is a valid reason and believe me, one that I am acutely aware of in my own writings and stumble-bumblelings. I do pour a lot from the empty and into the void as no doubt you have noticed.
Most bloggers do.
I should just shut up, [Oh. SHUT. UP!]shut the billandpatti blog down and maybe then, if I'm quiet enough, no one would know that I'm not the brightest star in the night sky by writing all these kinds of idiotic, empty-headed things. Still, I like to believe that space dust has not entirely glazed my eyes (my "I"s) over and well, it is kind of fun.

Alas, I'm afraid it is too late for me and that you all know I am truly an A-1, first class, bona fide empty-headed idiot who should not even own a computer let alone let loose to spew out his nonsense for others to waste their valuable time on..

But what about you, Dear Reader? As long as you maintain "radio silence" then noooo one will knoooowww the same about you... yes? no? maybe so?

Some mighty fine folks in my life have signed up and are reading this today and there is no telling how many are sneaking over from Josh's Play House to take a peek 'cause they too are bored out of their freakin' computer skulls and are looking for something half-way entertaining. (uh, you might not find it here too you know!)
But if all you're going to do is keep quiet, sit in the corner with the Mute button pushed while I'm doing all the work then I'm not inviting you to any more of my little parties, see?

Well, hey kids.. there is a way around all of that instinct to keep quiet lest others think you an idiot: anonymous comments can set your inner idiot FREE! No one will know who you are and your image-to-the-world is safe!

So, in remembering the title of this entry (um, "Love is being stupid together"..and so is camping) which Patti and I certainly proved 'til the Grand PooBah Blogger took her offline) what I would really, really like is some audience participation for the next couple of weeks.
BUT.. participating anonymously so nooo one will knoooooooow who is commenting.
No names, OK?
Throw your rotten tomatoes at me but don't sign your name. (unless you want everyone to knoooooowww!)

Here's how it is done for those old turkeys unfamiliar with the blogspot commenting mechanism:

- Click the comment button below. ..see it? I know you see it. No more denial.
- Select "profile" and scroll down to "anonymous" and click it
- Write your comment
- Click the "preview" button to read it over and edit it (if you want to)
- Click the "Post Comment" button

Done (and forever enough about comments). I promise.

So to begin.

Open the curtains..step out the door onto the world stage and let's just see what happens! There is no telling where the roads, the roads, the open roads may lead us to. Journey on the inside, Journey on the outside.. into the woods, out of the woods. By the time most of you are reading this I'll be humming along the roads heading north toward Massachusetts.

Until the next entry then somewhere up the road, I will leave you with Bernadette Peters as the witch in the play "Into the Woods" and I'll wager was never afraid of playing any part.

Bernadette Peters - Into the Woods

..and Home before dark!

Hope I don't meet a witch out there in the dark woods. bill :-D

ADK -In the works

2010-08-23T11:06:00.009-04:00

Another journey in the cool (cold) mountains of New York's Adirondack Mountains is currently in the planning stages.
A heap of "stuff" piled high on the floor of the back bedroom... sleeping bags, coleman stove, pots, pans, all the usual junk for being on the road in search of a little adventure before winter sets in to the Adirondack National Park.
Ah yes, not to forget the Kayak which I shall latch onto the top of my 5ft x 6ft home on the road.
I'll be blogging from where ever I can find a wireless signal which is not too difficult.

I know, not too exciting relative to what one can find on the web these days but hey, there's still a considerable amount of suffering that happens to me that you all will get glee from seeing as I in the back of a cold wet pickup, laying in the fetal position at 5 in the dark morning, having desperately to go pee but refusing to climb out of my sleeping bag to do so. Embracing unrelenting conflict until one side wins (and we always know which side that is.)
Oh Intrepid Warriors of the Road! Relent to the cold.. and just get up and go..

Anyway, nonsense aside for the moment and to all of you subscribers who may chance be reading this, I will send out a notice in a couple of weeks to let you know when I am actually on the road. If any stranger has happened upon this and wish to subscribe then send me an email (bbouslaugh at gmail) and I'll put you on my listserve. (and you will no longer be a stranger as you join a small but special group of generous and good hearts)

First stop will be Martha's Vineyard.
Oh.. god..the misery of it all! Why do I do this?

Somehow I relate to this joke:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?".

The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

ok then.. 'til we meet up on the road. I am "now what?" aka bill

Happy Birthday to Brie!

2010-08-10T06:08:00.004-04:00

Wishing you a most great and grand birthday today O daughter and the same for years and years to follow!
May "being stupid together" with friends always be with you.

from Bob & Barbara & yer ever lovin' poppy xoxoxoxoxoxo

An extraordinary Dream

2010-07-11T09:04:00.007-04:00

Many years ago I had a most remarkable dream.

I dreamed I was pulled up and out of my body that was laying there asleep in bed.
With dizzying speed I was mysteriously pulled far out into space, with the earth behind me growing smaller and smaller, passing the moon by and heading into the star-filled depths.

I knew not where I was being pulled toward with such increasing velocity. Strangely, I wasn't frightened.

Then in the far distance ahead I saw a small light that was not a star, growing bigger and bigger as I drew nearer and nearer, traveling toward it with increasing velocity.

But then as I grew nearer, as I approached this Great Light the speed of my travel began to slow.. ever slower and slower, almost like coasting in to a dead stop until I came face-to-face with this huge Light unlike anything I had ever seen before. A Light that did not blind...

There I was stopped still.. gently floating there in the vasty deep of space, stripped of all pretense..holding onto nothing... facing this magnificent egg-like shaped of living Light Energy.

Then.. something even more miraculous happened.

I heard a Voice "speak" directly to me, and the Voice now inside my mind did put to me a singular question as It ask:

What have you done to help?"

And in that moment of Light bathing my soul I realized that in all the years of my living I had done nothing to help.. nothing save that of helping myself from beginning to end.

Then, with a deafening roar like that of a great waterfall all happening for several seconds inside my head, I opened my eyes to find myself again in bed where I had always been, now wide awake and wondering what had just happened.
For hours afterwards I suffered with a pounding headache.

Even now, after so many years of having that most memorable dream, I have yet to answer my own question as I continue to wonder.