Here’s the deal. There are two things going on right now.. There’s:

a) What’s happening, and

b) How you feel about what’s happening.

If you’re not able to separate the two, you’re screwed, because your perception doesn’t necessarily match up with anyone else’s reality.

Facts

For instance.. Let’s say I tell you the grass is green, and you don’t like the fact that the grass is green… Your NOT LIKING the fact that the grass is green doesn’t change the color of the grass.

This is what I detest so much about a lot of conversations I have with people. They’re not able to separate how they feel from actual fact.

The only possible rebuttals to “The grass is green” are “No, The grass is red” or “There *IS* no grass”.

You either have facts that disprove what I’m saying, or you don’t.

Nobody cares what you think or feel about the facts.

If you feel like this is Mars, nobody cares, because this is Earth.

I hate being sidetracked into babysitting grown-ass people’s feelings when they feel hurt about something and it brings our previously intellectual discussion to a grinding halt.

Politics

If you’re a fan of a politician or a political party, and the fact of the matter is that your candidate will say *ANYTHING* he or she has to say in order to try to get elected, the rebuttal to “Your candidate has no moral core beliefs” is not “You’re hating, because you’re not a member of our political party”.

How you feel about your candidate doesn’t change the facts. Especially if they’re on videotape and youtube and can be accessed any day at any time.

Either say “You’re wrong because [provable facts]“, or give up the ghost that I’m right, so we can move on.

Don’t go haywire and start talking about irrelevant stuff that has nothing to do with how wack your candidate is.

I’d rather not talk to you at all than waste my time doing mechanic work on your malfunctioning brain.

Dating

If a woman says she’s not giving it up to someone she’s supposedly “dating”, and then I say “If he’s not getting it from you, he either doesn’t require it in his life, or he’s getting it from another chick”, it’s in her best interests to absorb that information and add it to her set of possibilities.

There’s a reason why Monica was under the desk, Capisce? >:D

If your boyfriend’s saying he wants to do XYZ and you’re like “Nah”, good for you… *AND* recognize that he’s not waiting for you to achieve some sort of epiphany and decide that you suddenly like doggy-style or whatever… He’s gonna “Get in where he fit in”.

How you feel about that doesn’t matter.

The facts don’t change because you don’t like them.

The grass is still green, and the sky is still blue, regardless of how you feel.

Business

If you pursue a career in an industry, you have to be realistic about your chances, opportunities, and skills.

It’s easy to paint yourself into a corner, thinking that you’re better than you are at something, and then finding out down the line that you had inadequately assessed the situation.

On the other hand, it’s also easy to psych yourself out, thinking that you *CAN’T* do something that you actually could have done if you would have diligently applied yourself to learning your craft, networking, and making people aware of what you’re bringing to the table, and why they should hire you.

In both situations, how you feel doesn’t matter.

You can use how you feel to fuel you past what you ordinarily would have done, but how you feel won’t actually make you a better guitarist, singer, dancer, or accountant.

Also, if you get poor reviews for something you’re doing, strive to not let that take you out of the game, if your goal is to excel in that area of your life.

Learn to separate facts from your feelings about the facts, so you can make an educated decision about whether to continue on the same path or deviate.

Focus

The point is.. Even though how you feel matters to you, you’re a fool if you believe it matters to anyone else.

It’s POSSIBLE that it matters to them, but it isn’t DEFINITE.

Even if it matters to them or they care what you think or feel, that doesn’t mean that how either of you feels is going to override reality.

It doesn’t matter that you believe you can hit a 95 mph fastball.. if you can’t.

It doesn’t matter that the pitcher believes you can’t hit it… if you can.
–
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Everybody knows that there are distinct and clear advantages to being a dude.

Two days ago, The USA just celebrated Equal Pay Day, for instance:

pay-equity.org/day.html

The next Equal Pay Day is Tuesday, April 17, 2012. This date symbolizes how far into 2012 women must work to earn what men earned in 2011.

Equal Pay Day was originated by the National Committee on Pay Equity (NCPE) in 1996 as a public awareness event to illustrate the gap between men’s and women’s wages.

Since Census statistics showing the latest wage figures will not be available until late August or September, NCPE leadership decided years ago to select a Tuesday in April as Equal Pay Day. (Tuesday was selected to represent how far into the work week women must work to earn what men earned the previous week.) The date also is selected to avoid avoid religious holidays and other significant events.

Because women earn less, on average, than men, they must work longer for the same amount of pay. The wage gap is even greater for most women of color.

So, off the bat, I can do the same job a woman does, for the exact same amount of time, and get paid more for it.

Keep Your Legs Closed

Recently, there have been an alarming (to me) number of situations that have been spilling the beans about the Boys’ Club to the international press.

Check out this Herb, talking to Andrea Mitchell:

YouTube Link => youtu.be/ZM6ifRq_SNg

For some reason, he felt perfectly comfortable telling a joke that you tell TO GUYS, *ABOUT* women, TO A WOMAN, on NATIONAL TELEVISION = International YouTube.

I mean, I understand that dude is a billionaire, so he doesn’t give a flying **** what women think, but C’Mon, Sunn! :/

He-Man Woman Haters Club

Next up, we have this club that’s still discriminating against people in the year 2012.

I thought this was pretty fantastic, because I thought that had been over for years, but NOPE! :D

csmonitor.com/USA/Sports/2012/0405/All-male-Augusta-National-overlooks-Virginia-Rometty.-Should-IBM-complain

Behind the scenes at this year’s Masters golf tournament is a matchup that many are watching almost as much as Tiger Woods versus the rest of the field.

The matchup is between the men-only Augusta National Golf Club – where the tournament has been played since 1933 – and critics who have been calling for a female member, particularly since 2002, when feminist Martha Burk took on the club.

The new wrinkle is that Augusta has traditionally extended membership to the CEOs of its corporate sponsors. Now, one of those sponsors, IBM, has a female CEO – one who even plays golf.

It’s an awkward moment for IBM and CEO Virginia “Ginni” Rometty as they consider what – if anything – to do about the apparent snub. Fighting the feminist cause might not be IBM’s job, say some experts, but the company might have to brace for a potential backlash if it continues its relationship with Augusta.

I personally don’t hang out with groups of dudes and no chicks, so I can’t even venture a GUESS at what their benefit is of not allowing female members.

You Mean That Wasn’t Free?

Our latest spillage of thine beans is that a bunch of dudes went to some foreign country and bought sex from a bunch of chicks, but one idiot didn’t feel like paying for it, so a bunch of them got in trouble, and already, three of them have lost their jobs:

nytimes.com/2012/04/19/world/americas/colombian-escort-speaks-about-secret-service-scandal.html

CARTAGENA, Colombia — A Secret Service agent preparing for President Obama’s arrival at an international summit meeting and a single mother from Colombia who makes a living as a high-priced escort faced off in a room at the Hotel Caribe a week ago over how much he owed her for the previous night’s intercourse. “I tell him, ‘Baby, my cash money,’ ” the woman said in her first public comments on a dispute that would soon spiral into a full-blown scandal.

The disagreement over her price — he offered $30 for services she thought they had agreed were worth more than 25 times that — set off a tense early morning quarrel in the hallway of the luxury hotel involving the woman, another prostitute, Colombian police officers arguing on the women’s behalf and American federal agents who tried but failed to keep the matter from escalating.

On Wednesday, in a setback to the reputation of those who protect the president, the Secret Service prepared to fire one supervisor tied to the alleged misconduct with prostitutes on the Cartagena trip, the agency said in a statement. Another supervisor has decided to retire, and a third employee will be allowed to resign, the statement said. Eight other employees remain under investigation.

“These guys have the clearest cases,” said a government official briefed on the investigation, referring to the three who are being pushed out.

The employees under scrutiny have been asked to take lie detector tests; only one has agreed to do so, the official said. The supervisor who is being fired has threatened to sue, Mark Sullivan, the director of the Secret Service, has told officials.

Now.. This situation is very funny. :D

It’s funny because even though men know that men buy sex every day of life, they can’t admit that they know this or they would be spilling the beans about the Boys’ Club.

Basically, the rules are “Do whatever you want, until you get caught, and then we’re all going to act like y’all are renegade anomalies and we’re nothing like you.”

Personally, I have nothing to do with prostitutes and never have.

This has nothing to do with ethics.

I think that if a chick feels like selling ass and a dude is willing to buy it, that’s good for them, and I hope they enjoy themselves and have fun stories to tell after the fact.

For me, women actually like me, so I don’t have to pay women for sex, never have, and probably never will.

Paying a chick for sex would be like paying her to mop the floor = not erotic.

Since the only reason you’re talking to her is to eventually engage in some sort of erotic episode with her, it’s best that you don’t do (no pun intended) anti-climactic things with her, such as negotiate with her for how much money you’re going to owe her for spreading her legs or opening her mouth.

*YAWN*

So, I have nothing against dudes that actually get something out of buying hookers, but if that’s how you’re going to live your life, remember to *PAY* after you *PLAY*.

If dude would have just paid this chick what she says they agreed to (he says he was drunk when they negotiated the price, which is *HIS* problem, not hers), none of these dudes would have gotten in trouble and/or fired.

Unfortunately for him, she saw herself as a high-priced “Escort”, and he saw her as a foreign whore, so there was no way he was upping American Escort money to a Colombian Hooker.

nytimes.com/2012/04/19/world/americas/colombian-escort-speaks-about-secret-service-scandal.html

There was a language gap between the woman, 24, who declined to give her full name, and the American man who sat beside her at the bar and eventually invited her to his room. She agreed, stopped on the way to buy condoms but told him he would have to give her a gift. He asked how much. Not knowing he worked for Mr. Obama but figuring he was a well-heeled foreigner, she said, she told him $800.

The price alone, she said, indicates she is an escort, not a prostitute. “You have higher rank,” she said. “An escort is someone who a man can take out to dinner. She can dress nicely, wear nice makeup, speak and act like a lady. That’s me.”

By 6:30 the next morning, after being awoken by a telephone call from the hotel front desk reminding her that, under the hotel’s rules for prostitutes, she had to leave, whatever deal the two had agreed on had broken down. She recalled that the man told her he had been drunk when they discussed the price. He countered with an offer of 50,000 pesos, the equivalent of about $30.

Disgusted with such a low amount, she pressed the matter. He became angry, ordered her out of the room and called her an expletive, she said.

She said she was crying and went across the hall, where another escort had spent the night with an American man from the same group. Both women began trying to get the money.

The other funny thing about this is that prostitution is legal where this occurred, so instead of the hooker being SOL, she actually *COULD* step to the cops and tell them that this gringo refused to pay for the sex he already got and had agreed to a price for.

She ended up settling for $250, which is way less than she wanted, and way more than he had originally offered, but the damage was already done by then.

Baby, My Cash Money! :O

oh.. wait… Here’s another account, from the Daily News! :D

nydailynews.com/news/national/colombian-hooker-center-secret-service-scandal-fight-800-agent-promised-article-1.1063676

Rep. Peter King (R-L.I.) said the agent who was fired is fighting his dismissal. “He’s suing the agency and fighting to stay,” he said.

King did not know if that agent was the one who kicked off the brouhaha by stiffing one of the 20 hookers hired by the frolicking G-men.

Eight other Secret Service operatives remain on administrative leave. Their security clearances have been stripped.

The call girl at the heart of the scandal is a dark-haired stunner who goes by the name Tania and was humiliated when an agent gave her only $28 for the night, according to the cabbie who drove her home.

“He only gave her 50,000 pesos ($28) for a cab ride, because he thought he had already paid her,” Jose Pena told The News.

She told Pena, “This never happened to me before. I feel so embarrassed.”

Pena said the raven-haired 5’-4” escort was one of a group of girls the agents picked up very late at a club and took back to the Hotel Caribe — but not before she stopped to buy condoms.

The agents have told investigators they didn’t realize the scantily clad ladies lavishing attention on them were prostitutes until it was too late.

“Most of them said they didn’t know until they got back to their rooms that they were hookers,” a source said.

After the wild night, Tania told the cabbie her agent was still drunk in the morning, when he belligerently kicked her out of his hotel room and locked the door.

“I tell him, ‘Baby, my cash money,’” she told the New York Times.

She said she banged fruitlessly on the door and then went to another agent’s room to summon one of her friends.

A group of hookers, Secret Service agents and local cops gathered in the hotel hallway arguing as the original agent remained behind his locked door.

Eventually, the other agents gathered $225 in dollars and pesos for Tania, who agreed to leave, Pena said.

Tania is a 24-year-old single mother who takes pride in being an escort — and not a hooker.

She typically pockets $800 for a “date” – and that she had told the agent in advance that’s what she cost.

Now, the Daily News isn’t the most reliable of sources, haha but you get the picture.

What do you mean “You didn’t know they were hookers”? o_O

What game did you kick that got her to agree to leave the bar/club, get in a cab with you, go buy condoms, come back with you to your hotel and give you a “Happy Ending”?

What gift of gab did you use that you felt you had gotten this chick to come home with you for free?

Did you get a clue when your boys were chipping in for the sex YOU just had? :D hahaha

Did you get a clue when there was a team of hookers outside your door, instead of the one you just kicked out? :D

This is why I’m saying this is so funny. The stories obviously don’t add up, but they *WOULD*, if dudes would just admit to the Boys’ Club.

Notice how none of the other hookers had monetary disputes?.. By some accounts, there were up to 20 of them brought back to that hotel that night, but forget about that.. If there were only the 4 prostitutes outside dude’s door, telling him to up the money, that means that 3 of them successfully completed their transactions with his homeboys.

Notice also how this situation would never have been revealed if the chick hadn’t complained to the cops that dude didn’t pay her what she thought her ***** was worth?

And then, people want to go around claiming this is an odd, one-off occurrence.

What’s even funnier is that everybody wants to call this “Bad Behavior”, as they attempt to distance themselves from what guys do every single day of life = pay women to give it up.

Membership Has Its Privileges

Several years ago, I went to visit a friend at her business office, and she introduced me to this guy I had never seen before in life, whom I gathered was footing part of the bill for the office space (read: he was tappin’ that).

We all hung out in their office that day, and then she needed to go do something, and I was chatting with the dude.

He made some outlandish remarks about her that I can’t even remember, because I was (at the time) so surprised that he was talking to me about the gal that I had come there to see, as if he and I were the long-time friends, and she was the third party.

I ended up not saying anything to her about what he said, because it seemed to me they were physically involved, and I wasn’t interested in exacerbating the situation, especially since she also relied on him for office space.

Also, it wasn’t anything that would have affected her health or well-being, or else I would have definitely let her know.

But the point was that we’re both guys.

There are lots of things guys tell other guys that they won’t tell women, regardless of what level of relationship they claim to have with them.

I’m finding this trend of bean-spilling to be strange, and I wonder if there’s an overall reason for it, or if these are merely unrelated incidents that have been occurring lately.

These aren’t gaffes, and they aren’t unforced errors… It seems that dudes are so comfortable with the Boys’ Club that they don’t give a damn if women find out about it, because there’s nothing they can do about it anyway.

It’s weird.. It’s like dudes are mentally regressing to when women didn’t have any jobs or money or could own property or create a business, and just had to sit around at their houses, hoping a suitor wanted to give them a worthwhile life instead of them becoming an “old maid” with a bunch of cats and knitting yarn.

I don’t see what the value is in paying an equally-competent woman 76 cents on the dollar, compared to a guy. (nationalpartnership.org/site/DocServer/wf.epd.factsheet.NY.pdf)

I don’t see what the value is in telling a woman a joke about women keeping their legs closed as an effective form of birth control.

I don’t see what the value is in keeping a woman with a more prestigious job than you have, and who makes more money than you do, from being a member of your club.

I don’t see what the value is in not paying hookers the money you agreed to pay them before they loved you long time.
–
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So I’m watching this “reality” show, and some guys that are friends and housemates decide they’re going to go to a bar and meet some chicks.

When they get there, one of them gets a rap to a gal that, apparently, one of the other housemates there liked.

I don’t know if there was any history between her and the other guy, because this was the first episode I was seeing of the show.

So, in the confessionals (the side-interviews they do with the cast members when nobody else is around them), the extra dude is talking all kinds of trash about the guy who the girl was talking to, although, when he was there at the bar, this guy only had nice things to say about his housemate.

Off the bat, I found this to be strange. You either like people or you don’t. You either want them to get laid or you don’t. You’re happy for them to have a chance, or you aren’t.

So the dude that’s about to get on tells the chick something like “Behave yourself while I’m in the bathroom.”

Of course women are jumping up and down right now, but the relevant point here is that he was indicating his lack of self-confidence… If you’re going to lose your rap to a chick as soon as she gets out of your site, you just suck to begin with.

That also means that since you suck, she’s not going to be following your orders anyway, so you should just say “I’ll be right back” and go where you were going.

So, as soon as dude is out of sight, the chick hustles over to the wingman, hops next to him on the couch, throws her arm around his and starts kickin’ it to him.

According to the dude, she was telling him that she didn’t like his friend.

They edited the show, so we don’t know whether he put in a good word for his boy or not.

Soon afterwards, the chick is nowhere to be seen, and the wingman approaches his friend and tells him “I’m not trying to cockblock you, but your girl was coming on to me.”

This causes laughter and a shrugging-off by the housemate, as if the wingman is joking or doesn’t have a grasp on reality.

This is another sign of insecurity. What would the value be of your wingman telling you that your girl stepped to him, other than getting you information that you *SHOULD* pay attention to, and perhaps.. amp up your game?

So the dude gets the chick to come back to the house, and they bring a couple of extra women along, in case the wingman wanted one, and maybe some other dude in the house.

Instead of kickin’ it with the extra chicks, the wingman is sitting down, sulking.. Probably because he wanted the girl his boy got.

KABOOM!!!

Eventually, dude is about to finally get the girl upstairs… Unfortunately, the disgruntled, crabby, sour, bitter, salty wingman tells her something like “Go do what you’re gonna do” or “Go do what you came to do”, implying that he knew she was about to give it up, and immediately ruining the rap for his homeboy, due to the typical female “I’m not a slut” reaction.

Generally.. Women like to believe that you don’t think they ever have sex. All you need to do is imply that they’re about to give it up to trigger them into defiantly proving you wrong by *NOT* giving it up.

Unfortunately, this works even if you’re not the one that was about to get laid, so the grumpy, disgruntled wingman successfully torpedoed his boy’s action for the night.

The chick comes back and argues with him, causing the wing to remind his friend that he stepped to him in the club and told him that his girl had been hitting on him.

Of course, her response was “I wasn’t hitting on him, he was hitting on ME! :O”, which was an absolute lie, because it was all on videotape, how he was minding his own business, and she hopped on the couch and grabbed him, which she loudly denied as if her word were her bond.

This led to even more stupidity as the much-shorter and much-lighter-weight wingman got in the face of the dude whose lay he just ****** up, and ended up getting pushed into a wall. He then proceeded to almost physically cry about it and declare their friendship over… before sobering up the next day and squashing it with the dude who he successfully and deliberately cockblocked the night before.

This is what’s known as bitchassedness.

Here’s the deal.. Understand the game, or don’t play it.

If you’re going out with the fellaz to chase chicks, may the best man win. Period.

If you see a chick you like, make your move before your boy does. If she chooses him before you get your shot, you have to eat that.

Not only is it your job to STFU, but it’s your job to help him get on, INCLUDING not talking trash about him behind his back, and INCLUDING distracting the extra chicks so your boy can get some privacy with the girl you wish you had.

It’s all in the game.

Next time, if you’re the one that gets on, he’ll back your play like you backed his.

You don’t want him pulling stupid stunts while YOU’RE trying to get laid, so don’t screw up his game either. Make yourself useful and get your kicks from the SitRep in the morning. (Situation Report)

That’s not an easy lesson to learn, because it sucks the first time you don’t get the rap to a girl you wanted, and your boy gets her. It sucks the second time, and the third time, and the eighth time, and it NEVER. STOPS. SUCKING. so get over it, get used to it, and speed your game up so at least you can say you tried before she gave it up to the next man.
–
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