The World's Gone Mad

BNP Egg Humiliation

2009-06-09T18:03:00.000-07:00

There's been very little to laugh about in the news recently, but the sight of BNP leader, Nick Griffin, receiving a richly deserved egging has got to be the highlight of the week.I understand the frustrations that lead people (albeit fairly thick and / or unpleasant people) to vote for the BNP, particularly when, in times of real economic hardship, we are finally presented with inescapable proof

The Naked Gnome Caper

2009-04-21T07:29:00.000-07:00

What is it about garden gnomes that so gets on the nerves of a certain, small-minded kind of person? I'm starting to think that, in not particularly liking or disliking the things beyond considering them to be a non-functional waste of space, I'm in a minority of one.Last November, with a delicious irony that I couldn't resist mocking, the Diocese of Bath and Wells banned gnomes and similar "

Mervyn King - Unlikely Hero

2009-03-24T15:53:00.000-07:00

Goodness me! It's been almost two months since I updated this blog, and I never even noticed! That's probably because there never seems to be anything genuinely new or unusual in the news these days.I don't think many people can have missed the rapid descent of 21st century Britain into New Labour lunacy, and so my commentary seems a little redundant. Besides, what is there to say? Each day,

Gordon Brown "One-eyed Scottish idiot"

2009-02-05T18:52:00.000-08:00

Jeremy Clarkson is definitely going up in my estimation. He's funny, doesn't mince his words and is almost certainly in deep shit yet again, worse luck.What's he done this time? Only referred to Gordon Brown-Trousers as a "One-eyed Scottish idiot" according to the Telegraph. Me, I can't see anything wrong with that - sounds like a perfectly accurate description of our unelected, power-mad,

Mandelson Calls British Jobs Protests Xenophobic

2009-02-02T17:54:00.000-08:00

The Telegraph reports that "Wildcat strikes across Britain are threatening to escalate after Lord Mandelson dismissed workers' concerns and claimed the protests may be "xenophobic"."How dare that cheeky, arrogant, good for nothing, doubly-disgraced wast of time dismiss legitimate concerns, and the free discussion thereof? What does the slithering bugger know of an honest day's work? Compare the

British Jobs For British Workers

2009-02-01T11:33:00.000-08:00

"British jobs for British workers." That is what Gordon Brown-Trousers, our unelected dictator said. It is not a difficult sentence to understand, even for him, and doesn't offer much scope for wriggling out of the sentiment.But he's trying. Oh BOY is he trying. Apparently, contrary to all appearances, those four little words don't mean that jobs in Britain should go to people from Britain. Oh no

Banking on Ken

2009-01-18T20:10:00.000-08:00

Now that 2009 is well under way, it's clear that things are just getting worse and worse for the hard pressed people of Britain. Today, Gordon Brown-Trousers, our unspeakable Prime Minister, looks set to unleash another £300 billion of bailout cash to our banks, just weeks after tossing a mere £500 billion their way amid claims that he had saved the world.Well, no, actually, he hadn't. He didn't

Cats Amongst The Pigeons

2009-01-06T21:10:00.000-08:00

Anyone who's lived in the UK for a few years will be familiar with the perennial "I saw a big cat" story that crops up in the media from time to time.Broadly, it goes something like this: A fairly ordinary individual catches sight of something very much out of the ordinary but of a large and feline persuasion. Until recently, being an ordinary individual, they almost never had a camera about

Santa's Sleigh Slain By Parking Ticket

2008-12-14T19:51:00.000-08:00

There was a cracking article in Saturday's Sun about Santa getting a parking ticket. It seems that the festive fellows at NCP Services, who are contracted to enforce parking regulations in and around Nottingham's Tudor Square, slapped a parking ticket on a car belonging to Richard Walters from West Bridgford Round Table.According to Mr Walters, he pulled over for a mere three minutes while he

Hide And Smoke

2008-12-09T17:41:00.000-08:00

There's a degree of unwarranted optimism in the British Government's latest pro health fascist, anti-smoking crusade: according to the Telegraph, Ministers have said that cigarettes displays will be banned from shops by 2013. Yet, I haven't spoken to anyone in the past few months who thinks the NuLab NutJobs will still be in power after the next election, or who thinks that the election can come

Damian Green Scandal

2008-12-03T16:53:00.000-08:00

The Damian Green scandal just isn't going to go away, is it? I've been avoiding the issue because, well, what can I say that hasn't already been said or at least thought by everyone who's read a newspaper over the past week?For slow readers, the story goes something like this: officious looking bobbies from London's Metropolitan Police arrested Conservative MP Damian Green last week, detained him

Budget, Fudge It

2008-11-24T20:02:00.000-08:00

Can there be anyone at all left in the UK who thinks the British government is anything other than a very sick joke? The news has been so universally glum of late that I really haven't felt inclined to blog about it. I can't imagine that there's anyone left to whom evidence that "The World's Gone Mad" would come as any surprise, and watching Gordon Brown-Trousers strut around the world stage as

Unnatural Creatures - God Squad Bans Garden Gnomes, Plastic Flowers

2008-11-11T13:48:00.000-08:00

I'm not a big fan of garden gnomes. I think they're tacky, pointless and, broadly, a waste of valuable garden space that could be used for something more productive. On the other hand, I also appreciate that some people like them, and I see no reason to frown upon their preference even though I don't share it.I'm not a big fan of religion, either, for much the same reasons that I don't like

Tea Up Pet

2008-11-04T18:43:00.000-08:00

Think back to your school days. Go on, right back to primary school. What do you remember? The sounds? The smells? The images? The rituals? For me, primary school was a long time ago, but if I had to distil the tangled memories into a coherent impression it would be something like this: a rampaging hoard of barely controlled little gits screaming, shouting and fighting over the crayons, covered

Gordon Brown-Trousers Is Amazed

2008-10-24T20:15:00.000-07:00

Gordon Brown-Trousers is a class act, isn't he? Today, it was confirmed - as if any confirmation were needed for anyone with any common sense whatsoever - that the British economy contracted by 0.5% in the last quarter. Just in case you missed the news reports, that's the first time in 16 years that the economy has actually shrunk, and it's a bigger contraction than even the most gloomy

Gordon Brown-Trousers Writes A Letter

2008-10-18T17:08:00.001-07:00

Gordon Brown-Trousers has made a mistake. I know, that's hardly breaking news - his entire career in government has been little more than cock-up after disaster, but this time he's excelled himself.Most people will have noticed that financial turmoil stalks the land, and the prospect of a viciously deep recession is now rather more than a mere "prospect". And very few of those observant victims

In For A Penny, In For A Pounding

2008-10-15T13:43:00.000-07:00

I love this story from the Telegraph about a church choir mistress who paid a hospital parking fine in pennies.It seems that Susan Catcheside, 74, from Longney, Gloucester, had been visiting an 83-year-old friend at Gloucester Royal Hospital, when she copped for a £70 parking fine. Not being over well herself, the good lady apparently didn't notice that the parking space she occupied was reserved

Seeing The Light

2008-10-10T06:07:00.000-07:00

Anyone remember this Reuters press release from March 9th 2007? It said, "BRUSSELS (Reuters) - European homes, offices and streets will have to use energy-efficient lighting by the end of the decade, EU leaders decided on Friday."The name of the game was efficiency, of course. Being inescapably gripped by the madness of mental enviroism, the meddlesome bods in Brussels just couldn't resist the

Raising The Dead - Peter Mandelson Returns

2008-10-07T14:00:00.000-07:00

The return to government of the disgraced (twice) Peter Mandelson has produced some of the most sustained and vitriolic newspaper comments that I have seen for quite some time. Today, the Sun refers to him as Lord Stench, and the Daily Mail - fairly vibrating with righteous ire - ran the headline "Arise Lord Sleaze".Of course, they both refer to the need to shoe-horn Mandy into the House of Lords

Crazy Cameron, Man With A Plan?

2008-10-01T22:13:00.000-07:00

I have to confess that I didn't catch all of Crazy Cameron's big speech yesterday. The thought of spending over an hour watching his forehead waggling was just too much, so I chickened out and caught the highlights and media reports later.I gather he made a big thing of Gordon Brown-Trousers' "not the time for a novice" jibe, as well he should have done. It was a typically foolish thing for the

Gordon Brown-Trousers Blames America

2008-09-30T21:30:00.000-07:00

Well, hasn't it been an entertaining week or so on the economic front? Nail biting suspense over the on-again, off-again, maybe, maybe not $700bn bail-out failed to really grip my attention, for the very simple reason that I didn't think our American cousins would be so dumb - or so brave - as to bottle out at the last minute.Clearly, Wall St was of the same view, expecting common sense (as

A Picture Of Health

2008-09-27T10:29:00.000-07:00

Cigarette packets have long carried health warnings along the lines of "SMOKING KILLS" and other such dire doom-sayings designed to make us kick the habit. I've always thought they were fairly pointless, in that most smokers know exactly what they're doing, and have no intention of stopping, thank you very much.On the other hand, they're relatively unobtrusive and might be a handy hint for the

Mending Ways

2008-09-19T21:34:00.000-07:00

I'm a little surprised by this article in the Telegraph. Finding themselves short of cash as the credit crunch bites harder, people are - shock! horror! - repairing household items instead of replacing them. Judging by the tone of the article, the Telegraph's journalist, the spankingly named Harry Wallop, can hardly contain his amazement that people would bother to repair something as lowly as a

Of Fox And Fish And Gordon Brown-Trousers

2008-09-18T18:53:00.000-07:00

An odd day on the news front today. According to the Independent, an online survey of grassroots Labour supporters shows that 54% of those who responded want Gordon Brown-Trousers to quit ASAP. I'm sure they do, but, in the wake of yesterday's polls showing 52% of voters currently favour Crazy Cameron's gang, it's hardly earth shattering news.Then there's the Telegraph, reporting that "Dementia

Deeply Brown

2008-09-16T20:26:00.000-07:00

I wonder how long it will be before Gordon Brown-Trousers is the only person left in the British government? Today, the Telegraph reports that minister David Cairns has resigned in protest at way things are going in the Labour government.Last weekend, various allegedly-senior Labour bods, none of whom I'd ever heard of, were fired for having the temerity to suggest that the Prime Minister should