Bio Girl

So I am Covered in a Mystery Rash... Wanna Hang Out?

2013-06-18T15:37:00.002-04:00

Uuuuuggghhh....

So I have this rash. Let me tell you about it, so you can feel sorry for me... which might make me feel a little better.

I woke up with it last Tuesday, which you may remember was a very stressful day. Because if that stress, I figured it was a stress induced rash. They happen, and it seemed logical. But then, even after the stress of Tuesday went away, the rash has stayed. Setting up shop, making itself at home, becoming settled in for a nice long stay. And then, it decided to have a family, spreading itself far and wide.

It sorta looks like this:

large red itchy/flakey looking splotches.

Unless of course it looks like this:

Almost bite like little pin prick spots that REFUSE to be photographed well, but completely cover my sides and back. Seriously, there are hundreds of them.

And it is taking over my entire BODY

Which, once again isn't really viewable in this picture but I AM POSTING IT ANYWAY BECAUSE IT IS ANNOYING ME

It goes from my neck to my knees. It is not on my hands, feet or face. It itches like a bitch, and it hurts. I know you are wondering if I have been to the doctor, and OF COURSE I HAVE. I went last Thursday afternoon once it started spreading all over my stomach and back and I worried it was some sort of bite or something TERRIBLE. It wasn't. I mean, it wasn't a bite. She couldn't really say if it was something TERRIBLE because she just scratched her said, said she had no idea, could be from stress... here are some drugs!

Nobody else in my house or work has it. I haven't changed my detergent or been anywhere strange (besides Idaho, but that was a month ago). I have not rolled naked in poison ivy. Yesterday I called the doctor again and they called me in a new perscription, this time an oral steroid, since the cream and allergy type medication they said would "CLEAR IT RIGHT UP!" last week were a bust. I thought the oral steriods were working, but the inch/red factor as the day goes on is having me second guess that assumption.

Soooooo... anybody ever have a mystery rash? One that nobody else in your house has, that seems to not care about steroid treatments or allergy treatments, that lasts for over a week and has the ability to drive you crazy with the constant itching and general uncomfortableness? I am up for any crackpot home remedies at this point.

Also... should I be too embarassed to go to the pool tomorrow? I SWEAR it doesn't seem remotely contagious, but still... a little awkward to get out of the car and look like I am covered in the measles. (which is what my coworker said they sorta looked like... sounds healthy).

(for the record I had my vaccine)

I am planning on going, but I did borrow a one piece suit. Nobody wants to look at this while they enjoy their summer day...

Papa's Day

2013-06-16T08:00:00.000-04:00

There is no place Henry would rather be than as close to his Papa as he can get.

Parenting: you are doing it right. I am so thankful to be doing it with you.

Happy Father's Day!

Post-Birthday Thoughts

2013-06-13T12:09:00.001-04:00

Thank you all so much for all of your kind words, thoughts and your prayers for our family this week. Tuesday was harder than I expected. I planned to go to work, but when I woke up I was just so... overwhelmed. So very heartbroken. I couldn't seem to get the tears under control. So I took the day and stayed home with Henry.

The morning saw a lot of tears and the always trusty TV as a babysitter. But around lunch I pulled myself together and suggested we have a picnic, just the two of us, in the back yard. After that, was each painted a rock to be added to Missy's rock garden and I finally covered all the painted rocks in sealant so they could be left at the cemetery where, hopefully, the paint will stay in place. We played chase around the yard and we swung on the swing set. That sweet boy has a way of helping his Mama's heartache.

I always have a hard admitting something is too much for me, that I can't work because I am just so sad, or tired, or whatever it is I am pushing myself to ignore. But Tuesday afternoon, in a way, I could hear Missy with her exasperated voice "You are too hard on yourself. Sometimes it's OKAY to take a day off just to be sad. You aren't superwoman. JUST RELAX." So that's what I tried to do. I tried to listen to what I knew she would be saying. I tried to picture her rolling her eyes at me as I list off all the things I am doing. I thought of her telling me to slow down. Feel my feelings. Take care of myself.

That night we went to my parents house for dinner as a family. We had one of her favorite soups and her favorite cake. We were all sad, but we were okay. My dad did have to work, and he said he had a good day. He truly felt her with him the entire day. And I think that was her too. She knew dad had to work, to be out there in the real world, so she was with him...making it easier.

After dinner we all went to the cemetery together. We had each been earlier in the day on our own, but as the sun started to set we each took a balloon and wrote a message on it to her. We released them together, and watched them until they were gone. And in a way, it helped to feel connected to her in the moment, on the evening of her birthday. Henry struggled after the balloon release, but I think it was just his little emotions and exhaustion catching up with him. It was a hard day in a lot of ways, we all had our breakdowns and tears. But I think in the end, we all felt closer to her that day. And that's what a birthday should be about.

Today is Missy's Birthday...

2013-06-11T08:00:00.000-04:00

And I wish I had words to say... but my word-bank is feeling very empty. I usually feel comforted by writing out my heartbreak here, but right now writing doesn't seem like it can help. I just want to call my baby sister and sing Happy Birthday to her, just like every other year. I want to hear her laugh as my out of tune voice wobbles at the high part in the song... I want to ask her where she wants to go to dinner, what kind of cake she wants, if she has any gift requests.... I want to celebrate this day, just like we did every June 11th for the last 30 years.

Instead I will go to the cemetery with my family. We will cry together, and hold each other... we will talk about how much we miss her, how impossible this seems. That one year ago we were blowing out candles:

And now we are here. Without her.

How can a year hold so much heartache?

Happy Birthday, baby sister. I miss you so much that sometimes its hard to breath.

A Father/Daughter Weekend

2013-06-09T13:59:00.002-04:00

Friday night after work I kissed my boys goodbye and headed to my parents house for the weekend. Just me. Last year when discussing what my dad wanted for his birthday he said "You know, all I really want is some time together. Can we make that work?"

So we did. We set aside a (now annual) father/daughter weekend where I come (and a different weekend where Boo goes) and I am not the mama or the wife, I am just the daughter. We watch movie after movie, him showing me things he has discovered and loves. We eat good food, we talk a lot.. basically we have a weekend of quality Father/Daughter time. And it's awesome.

In my currently over-packed life it is pretty rare I am just the daughter... I guess it's mainly just this one weekend a year. Plus the weekend gives me this quality time with my dad, and my mom too, that is priceless to me. My dad is a pretty smart guy for coming up with this plan... I am a pretty lucky gal.

Me and my dad, spending the weekend together catching up on movies and on each other.

Movies I have now viewed and loved:

Silver Linings Playbook
Django Unchained
Oblivion
Jack Reacher
Flight

And if you were worried about what my boys did this weekend without the Mama, don't fret. They were just fine.

Father/Son weekends are pretty awesome too.

Here Comes the Sun

2013-06-06T13:55:00.002-04:00

Yesterday morning I woke Henry up and said "Hurry hurry! We gotta get moving! We have a big day!"

"What are we doing?" He asked, his head still on his Papa's pillow, his eyes still closed.

"You have swim lessons, then gym class, then we are going to have lunch at the park with Hudson and Cici, then we are going to go to the pool with Wesley."

He opened one eye, looked at me for a second and said "That is a LOT of Tings"

Yes, yes it is. And our entire summer sorta feels that way. Packing in summer classes and picnics, vacations and grilling out, swimming and ball games, camping trips, birthday celebrations and blockbuster movies...we are going to be busy. We already are.

And I think it's good for all of us. And it's hard too, of course. Everything is hard. And it's a struggle to know how much to mention that...because I know you know, that all the joy is accompanied by the pain of our loss; the constant grief. Always. But it feels like if I don't say it, then maybe it will sound like we are all better. Moving on and happy with life again. When in reality we are just working hard on finding a new normal. And not letting the grief take away the happiness that is still an option for us.

So with summer officially here, I feel the sun in my heart as much as I feel it on my shoulders. We are doing things together as a family. Fun things. Memorable things. And it's good.

Caterpillar

2013-06-04T14:54:00.004-04:00

So something important has been brought to my attention. Apparently, SOMEHOW, I guess I have never really told you all about Caterpillar. I have no idea how this is possible. I just thought it was common knowledge (Who doesn't know everything about my BOY?!?!) that Henry has a beloved stuffed caterpillar. But then I posted this picture on facebook:

and a few very close friends commented on Henry's "worm".

Excuse me.You have got this all wrong. This guy is CLEARLY a caterpillar.

Of the very hungry variety

He was discovered at the height of Henry's Very Hungry Caterpillar book obsession,

buried in the bottom of Boo's toy chest. We have no idea where he came from, but Boo says Henry's face lit up as he laid eyes on him. He grabbed him up and yelled "CATERPILLAR!"

He was already growing in popularity enough at Henry's 3rd birthday to be featured in some of his professional pictures. Now he goes pretty much everywhere with us.

He hangs out at the park...

Or just around the house in our PJs

He helps when someone doesn't feel well..

Or anytime that someone is expected to sleep

like in his own bed...

Or on vacation

Sometimes he's hiding in the background, but he is almost always there somewhere, even if it's just off camera

He works his way into family shots

There is even artwork dedicated to him.. some by Henry

Some with a little help from Mama

He is always up for a party

But sometimes the guy just wants a rest. He is so popular at our house, sometimes he likes to go incognito, just to get a little alone time... It doesn't work well. This disguise is considered HILARIOUS.

So yeah. Caterpillar is a beloved member of our household, and I feel as if I have let him down by not discussing his importance up until now. In my defense, I just thought everyone knew him. I mean, he is so very important.

On the Last Day of May, A Little More Grey

2013-05-31T14:37:00.002-04:00

Today is the last day of May, and I have worn at least a little grey, every single day this month:

My shoes, my clothes, my nail polish, my grey bracelet; I have kept it on me, and I have constantly thought of her.

Thank you all who wore grey and have thought of her this month too. The 8th will forever touch my heart. Thank you too for all of your messages of love and support over this last month. This morning I got a message from Marci saying that she is in grey today too, all the way in South Africa, and that she is thinking of Missy. I am just constantly moved beyond words by the outpouring of love I find within this community.

Tonight is our local Relay for Life. Mary, Nick's ex-step mom and a beloved family friend, has been raising money and is taking part in the relay. She is dedicating her relay to her own sister, who she lost 19 years ago, and to our Sweet Melissa. She has made luminary bags and lights in their honor.

Thank you Mary, for including my sweet sister. It means more than words can say.

So as we close out May, I miss my sister. But I am constantly grateful for all the love and support that surrounds her memory, and our entire family.

Thank you.

A Camera's Help with Focusing on the Good

2013-05-29T16:53:00.001-04:00

I have a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head. Mainly about Missy and grief, heaven and the meaning of life. You know.. the little things. Henry is talking about Missy so much, and asking so many questions. I embrace his questions, I really try to. But I wish I knew the answers, or I wish I didn't feel like I was making up the answers as I go. I wish he didn't have to try to grasp things as big as death and loss and heaven at the age of four, because I am struggling like hell to understand them at 33. And I want to write about it, but I can't quite formulate them into a post. Right now the thoughts are too abstract. Or the grief is just a little too strong today. Maybe I will write it out someday soon, or maybe this post, that simply says I am struggling, will be enough to calm my head and my heart, and possibly ease my grief.

So along with that thought, today I will just give you some pictures from the last few days. I have taken some good ones. And looking at them helps me to remember how many good things are happening right now, even when I am missing her so very much.

My boys, relaxing and playing the Wii U before bed

First day at the pool this summer.

Cousins

The girls

fuzzy head :)

Henry with his Aunt Boo, Uncle Chris and Cici

Cici with her Uncle Nick

Cousins again, just because they make me smile

A brave boy at the dentist this morning. No tears, no cavities!

Enjoying every last drop...

Henry with his Papa and Mawmaw in South Carolina

Me and my boy

Life...it's pretty alright

I am glad I have been using my camera recently, because today these pictures are helping me to remember that.

2nd Annual Memorial Day Weekend Outdoor Adventure

2013-05-26T15:15:00.000-04:00

Kind of a long title, but it felt worth mentioning that for two years running we have gone out into nature during Memorial Day Weekend! I mean... pretty much the rest of the year we stayed safely locked within city limits, but this one weekend a year we have repeatedly gone into the great wilderness! And, don't hold me to this or anything, but I REALLY think we will be in nature even more than one weekend this summer! We... wait for it... went shopping for camping equipment this weekend!

I KNOW.

WHO ARE WE.

But Nick's mom and step dad really want to do a family camping trip, and I'll be damned, I am actually getting kinda excited about it. I LOVED camping with my family when I was little, and the idea of having that tradition with Henry is something I am looking forward to. So, WATCH OUT WILDERNESS. HERE WE COME!

(wilderness with a bathroom and running water... we aren't savages)

This post has taken a turn for the rambling. Let's get back on track.

We went hiking this weekend! Want to see pictures?

We went to Raven Run, which is a place I have never been, even though it is like, twenty minutes from where we live...

Sometimes I forget how pretty Kentucky is. It's like you just get used to it, and then one day you look around and are like "Wow... I actually like here. and it is gorgeous."

It was actually Andy's idea to get out into nature this weekend, so we owe him a thanks for not letting the annual tradition die on it's second year

I mean, if he hadn't asked us to go, we would have missed the giant rock that looks like a foot. NOBODY should have to miss that.

But even MORE important than the foot, we would have missed a great time with each other... (awww)

Henry and Andy, just hanging out

Henry did amazing, and did the majority of his own walking. I would say he walked two miles of the two and a half mile hike. Which is pretty impressive!

but that did mean we spent about a half mile carrying him around like a sack of potatoes... which he found extremely enjoyable

but even that half mile of carrying was worth our final destination (or, I guess the half way point of the hike, since we had to head back)

Totally worth it

So.. it was nice to meet you, Raven Run. We will be back. Hopefully in less than a year.

Summer Reading Suggestions!

2013-05-24T12:47:00.001-04:00

Well I am back!

The travel yesterday was exhausting, but fine. I didn't realize it was a holiday weekend until like, five hours into the trip and I was just SO CONFUSED as to why so many people are flying on a Thursday. It was PACKED. But I made it home, I am so happy to see my boys, and all is well.

But that is not the point of this post. The point of this post is to tell you about the amazing books I have been reading! I haven't really read at all this year. I guess between classes and Missy and life I just couldn't. But a few weeks ago I sent out a message to my book review friend , Kate, asking for some recommendations, and man... she hooked me up. Clearly her and I have the same reading interests because I swear, every book she told me to read I have adored. And I want to pass along these gems of books to you all because... well... that's what I do. I share things I love with you so you can read them and tell me you love them too. Then we can talk about these characters like they are real people and it wont be strange AT ALL.

So, I am calling this post my summer reading suggestions list. I will come back and add to it over the next few months (if anybody cares). For now it has four books on it, and they are all most definitely worth checking out!

SUMMER READING SUGGESTIONS

Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell: This is the first of two books by Rainbow Rowell on the list, and I find it highly likely that as the summer continues, everything she has written will be added. There is something about her writing style that just speaks to me. It reads so natural, and you completely fall in love with her characters. Don't be fooled by this book being listed at Young Adult or by the simple cover. It is a fast read, but the story is amazing.

The Sea of Tranquility by Katja Millay- I basically read this entire book yesterday. And it is not a light read. But I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN. Even once I got home, and the boys were asleep, I stayed up an extra two hours to finish it. Once again it's a Young Adult book, but the subject is anything but juvenile. It is heart wrenching and amazing. The main characters are written so well you feel like you know them. And love them. And just want to help them. The story is dark at parts, but in the same vein as Language of Flowers, is worth it's dark side. And this book pulls off something that few can do, it absolutely grabs you up until the final page. And when you close the book, you will have chills. (at least I did). Read it.

Attachments by Rainbow Rowell: I adored this book. And in some ways, that may be because it reminded me so much of me and Whitney. If you have ever had a friend who makes you laugh (really hard) mostly in the form of emails/IM/texting then you might see yourself in it as well. The story is about a guy who is hired to police the inner office email at a newspaper, and the two best friends who email back and forth throughout the day. The story is sweet and heartfelt and definitely worth reading.

Measure of Love (And Life from Scratch) by Mellisa Ford: These are written by Mel from Stirrup Queens, who has become a dear friend over the years. I adored her first book, Life from Scratch, about a woman who has recently divorced her husband, so begins a blog about learning to cook, and starting live over from scratch. Measure of Love just came out last month, and is the squeal. I don't really want to give away it's story, because it ties too much into the end of Life from Scratch, but both books are great and definitely worth reading this summer!

So that's it (so far). I have about ten more books suggested by Kate, plus everything by Rainbow Rowell on my summer reading list, so I will let you know in future posts when I update here with new suggestions! If you have read anything good this summer, let me know in the comments and I will add it to my list!

Kelsey and Thomas Get Married!

2013-05-22T15:52:00.001-04:00

So let's talk about the wedding!! It was a success! I mean, it's hard for weddings to not be a success unless someone gets left at the alter, but this one was an EXTREME success. It was AMAZING! Like, one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever seen. And it was so much fun! I will forever love the memory of Nick, Henry and dancing together. I smile every single time I think of it. So anyway, do you want to see some pictures? I knew it!

I figured I should start with an adorable shot of the bride and groom.

And of course the oh so handsome ring bearer

Actually, we are just going to start at the beginning of the day... because otherwise I will miss too many great pictures. Here is Mawmaw with three of her four grandsons. I HATE that Chris and Nieem weren't there yet. We will have to get all teh boys with Mawmaw at the next wedding :)

Matt and Blair, looking adorable

The groom, hiding from the bride

The bride, right above him, hiding from the groom

a proud Mama and a sweet boy

cake

one of many amazing spots at this wedding... the buffet line

the reception

The Sweet Bride
\
Our little family

cousins

The girls

my loves

Our big boy, totally in control of his ring bearing duties

The reason for it all

The wedding party

Our sweet South Carolina Family

The music :)

a little pre-dinner dancing. This turned into a lot of full group dancing later. I have no pictures of it, because I was too busy loving every second of it.

These two had a blast

The awesome, antique milk jugs used for glasses

Siblings, all dressed up

first dance

Love this one!

Mama and Papa jump in

Candice and I

Speeches... which I am mainly including so you can see how pretty the reception tent was!

Nana and Grandpa

Cake! (and pie!)

Aaaaand then my camera ran out of batteries. But the evening went on, and a ton of fun was had by EVERYONE. Truly. It was a beautiful wedding, and we could not be happier for the amazing couple!

**Like every other wedding, there are WAY more pictures that what I am posting. If you want to see more of how adorable this was, click on any picture and it will take you to my flickr account.

Hanging Out in Boise

2013-05-21T13:15:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone!

I am alive and well, just hanging out in Boise, Idaho (no you da ho). (no... that joke never EVER gets old) I have a ton of wedding pictures to show you from last weekend in South Carolina, but haven't had time to load them.

Okay... that isn't true. I am sitting alone each night in my hotel room. I totally could have posted them last night. But I had a long day of learning about seed germination... and I drank a couple glasses of wine with dinner...and laziness won.

For the record, the wedding was AMAZING. One of the nicest weddings I have ever been to. I can't wait to show you! It's just things like this huge, fluffy robe keep distracting me
I don't even like bath robes... but it just felt wrong to not wear it...

So I am enjoying my work trip. I am eating a ton of great food (as expected, potatoes are fantastic) and I am making some new work friends... contacts... associates... what do you call work people you meet at a conference? I am not close enough to any of them to start handing out my blog address, but I have a few I am enjoying eating dinner with.
I haven't ventured into much of Boise yet beyond the PF Changs and the Old Spaghetti Factory (Boise...I am doing it wrong. STOP EATING AT NATIONAL CHAIN RESTAURANTS) but tonight the group is heading out for some kind of tour and a nice dinner. Tomorrow night is the banquet and Thursday morning I fly home. I am already missing a couple of fellas really bad, so I know by Thursday I will be 100% ready to be back in Kentucky

Thank god for Skype... it helps to fill the Henry and Nick sized hole in my heart, but I am already feeling the need to get home to these two ASAP.

Wedding pictures to come... most likely tomorrow. Be prepared to be amazed.

Hitting the Road

2013-05-16T12:30:00.001-04:00

Wow. So... the birthday is officially a wrap, right? I think we covered it forward and back around here... if you didn't notice. We will now close the birthday book for another year and move on.

(are you all sighing with relief?)

So now we are packed up and leaving town!

What? Didn't I mention that we are going out of town? I guess I was distracted.

Saturday is Kelsey and Thomas' wedding, so Nick and Henry went to South Carolina yesterday (they need to be there for the Thursday evening rehearsal) and I am catching a ride with Candice today after work. It will be a fun filled family weekend, and you can expect a lot of pictures of the beautiful couple, as well as the STAR OF THE SHOW, the RING-BEARER!

Okay, Kelsey is the star of the show. But Henry will be a close second (Sorry Thomas).

After the wedding I am actually flying out of South Carolina and going to Idaho for several days for a work conference. Do I have any readers in Boise? Anybody have any suggestions for things to do or see? I am open to all suggestions, seeing as how my current plans for my evenings in Boise include reading, blogging wedding pictures and watching movies in my hotel room. Maybe eating some junk food. (I am a wild one).

Anyway, it is going to be kinda a whirl wind week; three days in South Carolina, five days in Idaho. Fingers crossed it all goes well!

Henry's Nintendo Land Birthday Party!

2013-05-14T17:16:00.001-04:00

Last Christmas Nick got a new Wii U, and with that Wii U came the game Nintendo Land. NintendoLand offers several (ten?) mini games based on old Nintendo classics. Mario, Donkey Kong, Yoshi, Super Metroid, Balloon Fight... things that people who love Nintendo know and love. They are pretty simple, and they are extremely fun. From the moment Henry saw this game, a new little die hard Nintendo fan was born. Henry LOVES it. So when we started throwing out birthday party ideas to him, he jumped on the Nintendo Land party idea and held on tight. I was worried about how it would come together... mainly because there were no Nintendo Land parties on Pinterest and... well... THERE ARE NO NINTENDO LAND PARTIES ON PINTEREST. Where will my IDEAS be 'borrowed' from?? Plus I wondered if people would get it, since not everyone has a Wii U, and most people have never heard of Nintendo Land. So I fretted and repeatedly talked about how cool an Outer Space party might be. No dice. It was Nintendo Land or Bust.

Hats made by my mom, who is AMAZING! She got the pattern here.

Turns out I didn't need to worry about Pinterest, not when I have Nick. The man knows how to come up with Nintendo themed party ideas.

Mario post it wall: by Nick

cupcakes with the Nintendo Land game symbols, chocolate sucker mustaches. Ellie begging for food in the background. Good dog.

The hats went along with the kids playing Mario Chase in the yard... which pretty much just meant I told them to run and play.

Turns out, that is a pretty popular game. We could have just left it at that.

But we made a few more; like Yoshi's Fruit Cart. This entire idea was mine... I was pretty proud of it.

They were timed and had to collect fruit on the patio. IF they did it in under 30 seconds they got a gold coin

Now we get to the games Nick built... they were... a little more impressive than my Yoshi's Fruit Cart...

I can't imagine why the kids list this as their favorite game of the party... (using a Nerf gun, the targets fall if you hit the bulls-eye)

The little kids got some help sighting up the targets. I am surprisingly good at this game, but it hung out in my living room for a few days pre-party, so I got a lot of practice.
.
And then Nick built this one... which... okay, this thing was just awesome.

You put a balloon on a track and have to navigate through a spiky maze... with a fan blowing. If you get to the end without your balloon popping, you get a coin!

With a little extra help for the little ones

The gold coins the kids collected when they played each game were then used to play plunko for prizes

Also a hit with the kids. Who doesn't want to play plunko??

After the games singing was done, candles were blown out

Presents were opened

An excellent time was had by all.

And now for lots of pictures of friends and family!

Henry and Hudson. These two are become the best of friends. It's adorable!

Here is our sweet boy with his Nanny

And of course one with his Papaw

Nana and her boys

Grandaddy and Grandma Val

The Bio Girl Family

Boo and Cici

Grandaddy, Grandma Val and Great-Grandma from Alabama!

Liz and Wesley

Aunt Candice and Uncle Chris....it was maybe a LITTLE cold outside, but as you can see this party REQUIRED use of the back yard.
.
The kids table

Ethan enjoying his Nintendo Land cupcake

girls

guys

playing

Morgan and Carter

More playing

Hanging out with Andy

Aunt Boo and Uncle Chris with the birthday boy

Ryan and Arielle, giver of the AWESOME Wreck it Ralph Hands.

Seriously, he never wants to take them off

But he will share with his Papa

Aunt Candice taking an inside break with Cici

Chris, Nicole and Nieem

It was an amazing party. We all loved it, especially our sweet birthday boy!

There are lots more pictures. LOTS MORE. If you want to see the 100 I loaded to flicker, click on any picture and it will take you to my page. If you were at the party and want to have access to order any of the 400 pictures in the snapfish album, let me know and I will send you an invite!

THANKS SO MUCH to Aunt Nicole for being our photographer and capturing so many great moments from the party!!

Four

2013-05-13T23:44:00.002-04:00

Coming in just under the wire... 11:40pm, but still technically his birthday! This year there are two video's: The first is the annual photo montage, which is pretty great, if I do say so myself. The second is a birthday interview with Henry. I did one last year as well, but never posted it. I love them, and think it will be added to the long list of birthday traditions around here!

(I know... we are birthday crazy. But I strongly believe we will never ever regret it)

Henry's 4th Year:

Song: Oh How You've Grown by Frances England

And A 4th Birthday Interview:

One more birthday post to go and we are wrapped up! Epic party pictures to come on Wednesday.

A Four Year Letter

2013-05-13T10:37:00.000-04:00

**Photo montage to be posted later today...just as soon as it is complete. I feel confident it will be before 11:59PM**

Dear Henry,

Sweet boy, you are, without question, the coolest kid I have ever met in my life. You are cleaver and funny, you are kind-hearted and creative, you fill my heart with joy. And I know someday you will read these letters and roll your eyes, thinking "you are my mom, that is what you are suppose to say..." but for today, on your 4th birthday, I just want to say that it's true. You are amazing. And I feel so incredibly blessed to get to be your Mama.

Lots has happened this last year. The biggest and hardest thing is that you lost your Aunt Mimi. I am not sure how to sum up how amazing she was in this letter, or how much she meant to you. I know you will spent your entire life hearing about her, and I hope and pray you will be able to hold on to your memories of her, and how very much she loved you. She used to keep you during the week while Mama and Papa worked, and she would always be so much fun. She constantly was taking you to the park or the mall to play. She always wanted to do whatever would make you happy. You tell us everyday how you miss your Aunt Mimi, but that she lives in your heart. We know she does, and we see so much of her in your sweet spirit.

You started preschool this year. It was rocky at first, and drop off is still not your or Papa's favorite time of day, but you have made so many friends and you adore your teacher, Ms Gladys. You play so well with the other kids, and seem to really love being there. You have learned to write your name, and think it is hilarious when you write a really tiny Y on the end. You can write most letters, and recognize them all with most of their sounds. You know all your numbers, colors, shapes... you are clearly a genius.

You still love being with your family, especially your cousins Darcy and Nieem. They are two of your very favorite people. Your grandparents are favorites too. But a lot of times, when we ask you who your best friend is, you say it's your Papa. And I have to agree. You love playing with your Papa as much as any child I have ever seen. You two constantly are inventing new games, building with Lego's or playing on the Nintendo. When Papa works in the yard you quickly put on your shoes and announce "I am going to help my Papa!". You love being with him. You love being with me too. Each night when I tuck you in you ask "Will you please lay down with me? I will be sad without my Mama..." You are generous with your hugs and kisses, even when you are extremely busy playing. You constantly tell us you love us, and it never ever gets old. Because we love you so much too.

I can't think how else to describe you besides saying you love life. Truly you do. You love being outside, at the park or the pool, you love inside, building with blocks or Lego's, painting or playing video games. You love to help us cook and sometimes even clean. You love your dog, your friends and your family. You love to just lay with us, piling on the couch. You love to laugh and scream, just a ball of pure joy. I don't know how we would have made it through this year without your sweet spirit to lift our family up. I don't know how my life felt full back before you were in it. Four years doesn't seem like that long ago, but it was a lifetime, a different world entirely from the world with you here. So thank you for being such a good boy. Thank you for always being my baby, no matter how old you are. You make our lives better, just by being you.

xoxo,
Mama

Happy Mother's Day

2013-05-12T10:02:00.000-04:00

Mama's do a lot of crazy things they never knew were part of the job when they first hold their little boy...

like become an excellent Nerf gun sharp shooter to help make a little boy's birthday awesome.

I feel so blessed to be a mother, and so grateful that God chose me to be Henry's mom. I am spending the day with my boys and my own Mama. I will be back tomorrow with a birthday slideshow and a birthday letter, then Tuesday I will post pictures from Henry's AMAZING 4th birthday party.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. To everyone fighting infertility, my heart is with you today. I know this is a painful one. xo

Over 100 Shades of Grey*

2013-05-10T09:49:00.000-04:00

So Wednesday... there are truly no words for how much all the grey meant to me. I added more pictures today, so we are officially over 100. Throughout the day I was consumed with the pictures and messages from you all, wearing grey and thinking of Sweet Missy.

Honestly, it was a little more emotional than I expected. Which I guess is ridiculous. How did I not know picture after picture full of love and support of my amazing baby sister might make my heart a little raw around the edges? But I really was taken off guard. But you all, it was totally and 100% worth the heartache. Because I knew you all were standing there with me, thinking of her, missing her, and understanding how hard this all truly is.

Yesterday my sister-in-law, Candice, organized a charity powder puff football game and all the proceeds went to cancer research in Missy's name. We were actually at the game, on the field, when they presented the thousand dollar check in her name. It was amazing. And it made the edges of my heart just a little more raw. But completely in that good, loving, supported way.

Now we are trying to switch gears. Henry's 4th birthday party is tomorrow. TOMORROW. And usually I might be weepy about that, but honestly I am possibly cried out. We shrank the guest list considerably from last year. Like, by half. We really planned on this being a much smaller, simpler party from last year's epic Angry Bird Bash. But Henry asking for a Nintendo Land party sparked the inner child in Nick**, who has made some extremely impressive games. I broke out my markers and did some drawings and mom got busy on the sewing machine... so the party is not exactly simpler, per se. But really, the party will be focused on the seven kids, and I think they will have a blast. I know for sure it will be a great memory for our sweet boy, which is the entire point.

When I showed Henry his party invitation (which I totally designed by myself... PROUD!) he looked up at me and said "Is this for ME? For my NINTENDO LAND PARTY?!?! TANK YOU MAMA! TANK YOU FOR MY BIRFDAY PARTY!"

So...yeah. How do you NOT throw this kid an awesome party? Look out, lots of party pictures, birthday slide shows and letters to come over the next few days.

* Heh. My best friend suggested the Shades of Grey title, and the traffic it might bring in made me chuckle. Because... I bet they aren't looking for this! Heellllloooo Fifty Shades of Grey readers. Welcome. Support Brain Cancer Awareness.

** I am lucky Nick and I both go a little birthday crazy... it might be a little annoying if it was just one of us.

Grey for Missy

2013-05-08T09:44:00.002-04:00

***UPDATED 5/10/13 at 7:30am***

Thank you all so much. I cannot even being to tell you how much I am loving hearing about people wearing grey and seeing all the pictures. Truly, each time my phone buzzes, my eyes fill with tears again.

Today is a hard day. This has been a hard couple of weeks, really. And although I know I will cry a lot today, and I will miss her a lot today, I will feel comfort in knowing you all are thinking of her, loving her and missing her too.

I will update this post throughout the day with all the pictures I can find of people wearing grey for Missy. If I miss yours, just shoot me an email and let me know and I will get you added. And of course pictures aren't required. I have had so many people message me to say they are in grey today. Old school friends, sorority friends, friends online from literally all around the globe (three continents and counting!). Everyone in grey, and thinking of our sweet Missy. Thank you all.
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.
.

**********UPDATED AT 1pm***************

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.
*****UPDATED AT 3:20 PM****

.

.

.

.

.
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.
*******UPDATED AT 6PM*******

.

.

.

.

.
.
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.
.

.

.

.
.
.

.

.

*****UPDATED AT 10PM**********
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

*****UPDATED 5/10/13 at 7:30am*****

.

.

.

.

.

.

.
. .

Wear Grey for Missy: May 8th (aka tomorrow)

2013-05-07T12:59:00.000-04:00

Our family is still wearing a lot of grey. And every time I look for what to put on, I think of my sweet sister, and how very much I miss her.

Tomorrow, May 8th, is the day to wear grey in memory of Missy, and in support of Brain Cancer Awareness Month. It will be three months since we lost her, and I think everyone wearing grey and sharing pictures will help our family to get through another month without her.

We can all find a little grey...

Even if it requires supporting our favorite team at the same time.

So please, if you can, wear grey tomorrow... and when you put it on, just think of Missy. Think of how amazing she was, think of her fight, and think of how very loved she will always be. Wear grey for Missy, and for everyone who is still fighting. No family should have to live through this.

If you send me a picture, I will add it to a post here at Bio Girl, which I will update throughout the day. Hopefully the post will be extremely long, and filled with a lot of love. Email to biogirl79 at gmail dot com, post them on the Bio Girl facebook page or post on twitter/ instagram with the tag #greyforMissy

Derby Day

2013-05-06T17:38:00.001-04:00

So this weekend was the Kentucky Derby...which... in my neck of the woods is a pretty big deal. Don't tell me if you have never heard of the Kentucky Derby. We Kentuckians believe EVERYONE in America believes it's the greatest two minutes in sports. (Don't pop our bubble.) Even if that isn't 100% true, I will venture to say that there are few other two minute increments that could win you TWENTY EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS on a two dollar bet.

(Kentucky Derby= sound financial investment.... if you bet... and pick correctly)

So how do you build a perfect Derby party, even if it's sorta raining and cold?

First Derby requirement, a horse. Check

.
Second Requirement, Derby Hats. Double Check (I know they looked thrilled, but they REALLY did enjoy this)

Third, a race. Check again

Fourth, Alcohol. delicious double check
.
Fifth, good friends to have you over, Giant check.

And you can always throw family in for good measure!

And maybe a pinch of Adorable

Oh and look! ME! I am also needed for a derby party! ALWAYS!

So s you can clearly see, we have this Derby thing figured out.

Thanks Ryan and Arielle for a great Derby! We had a blast :)

Coal Miners Granddaughter (inlaw)

2013-05-03T19:01:00.001-04:00

**Please remember to wear grey on May 8th in memory of Missy, and to support Brain Cancer Awareness Month**

Nick's grandfather was a coal miner, and I have spent countless hours since I was nineteen years old hearing stories of coal camps, miners, mountains, and moonshine piped in through the kitchen sink from his Mawmaw. Over the years, I have taken on this family coal mining history as my own. So although I may not technically be a granddaughter of a coal miner, I am consider my (inlaw) coal mining roots to be pretty strong. So when my Rural Health class voted on where to go to experience rural life, I quickly cast my vote for the Portal 31 Coal Mine Tour and the Coal Mine Museum, both located in far Eastern Kentucky. Turns out the rest of the class agreed, so a couple of weeks ago we headed east to tour a coal mine.

I am going to show you some pictures of our trip, just because I thought it was so interesting. And because, in this small mountain town, it is their attempt to hold on and bring in tourism now that the mines have closed. There used to be ten thousand people living in this area, now there are less than a thousand, and over half of them are over 65 years old. The old school house is now a bed and breakfast, and the tour guide is 89 years old. It's a piece of American History, and they are proud of it. I am pretty proud it is located in my state. I figure I should tell you all about it, and that it is definitely worth the $15 to do both tours ($12 if you are a student).

Heading into Portal 31 Mine tour in Lynch, Kentucky. It was all pretty exciting..

I mean... until you realize you are actually GOING INTO A COAL MINE... Like, UNDER A MOUNTAIN, in a tiny little metal cart. Then it's exciting mixed with a little terrifying.

But once we got rolling I forgot to feel uncomfortable because I was too busy enjoying the tour. It's like Disney World! But in a coal mine!

As you went deeper into the mine there were several stops through time, showing you how mining progressed over the years.

Those beams... they are what is holding up the mountain. And they were put there like 100 years ago. Just saying...

(I kept my eye open for the Escape Way signs)

Outside the mine.

Me, at the mine... with my hair expanding by the minute due to the rain.

After the Portal 31 mine tour we headed to the coal mine museum in Benham, KY. This is Al, our tour guide. He has written three books on the town of Lynch, and he is a fountain of amazing information on the mine, the town and the people.

My class (who I assume doesn't mind being on my blog since I am not listing names and they all seemed fine with the pictures going on the MPH program's website... that's like signing a waver, right?) outside of the museum. You can't see it, but we are sitting on a large piece of coal.

The museum was three stories, with tons of exhibits from the actual mine as well as from the coal camp and hospital

But by far the best part of the museum was the mock mine, where you had to walk around perpetually bent over because the ceiling was 50 inches tall. Good old Al rode in a wheelchair. I sorta wanted his chair, but I guess it's okay that it's his since this is his job...and because he is 89 years old. He informed us that men mined in spaces as small as 36 inches.

Here is our group outside of the mock mine, with our mining helmets on...which may or may not have really been for children on the tour. Turns out I go to school with people who are as big of nerds as I am. (Although, if I remember correctly, it was me that really pushed for the class picture in the hats... so MAYBE I am just a little nerdier).

It was awesome. And we will be going back when Henry is big enough to enjoy it.

I mean, there is no question that he is the great grandson of a coal miner.

We gotta keep him educated on his roots.

Wear Grey in May: Brain Cancer Awareness Month

2013-05-01T09:06:00.001-04:00

Just the start of a lot of grey this May:

I am hoping to wear grey everyday this month to help raise Brain Cancer Awareness, and to honor my little sisters fight against the terrible disease.

If you don't feel up to wearing grey everyday, but would like to show your support for Brain Cancer and for our Sweet Missy, please try to wear grey on Wednesday, May 8th, which will be three months since we lost her. Send me a picture or tag it on Twitter or Instagram with #GreyforMissy and I will pull them together here for a montage of photos of people supporting our sweet girl.

**Thank you to my amazing best friend, Charing, for letting me know about Brain Cancer Awareness month and the Wear Grey in May campaign. I love you so.

**Thank you to my amazing sister in law Candice who is having all proceeds from her high school students Powder Puff football game on May 9th going to Cancer Research in Missy's name. I am so lucky to have you in my family.

Finals Week...

2013-04-30T17:32:00.000-04:00

It's finals week, and things are a little crazy around here. I had my biostats final yesterday and I will be spending all my free time over the next couple of days working on my Rural Health final project. And just for fun, we are in full on birthday planning and preparation mode around here because SOMEBODY is turning four in two little weeks. I am not naming names or anything, but SOMEONE is pretty excited...

So really I am just checking in to say all is well, I am just really, super, crazy, busy. No worries. Just send caffeine.