Bio Girl

Does Calling it my Blogiversary Show my Age?

2012-01-27T12:03:00.000-05:00

** Post now UPDATED to include original Blog Design. It's was so BEAUTIFUL!**

So today is my five year Blogiversary. Which is a term I haven't actually heard in about three years... so that alone may prove that I have been pouring out every thought that comes into my head for way too long now.

So...

Five Years.

Over One Thousand Posts.

Over Five Thousand Comments.

It blows my mind. Truly. That I have continued to write, that you all have continued to read and comment. That five years later I still feel that pull to sit down here and tell our story.

More than that, that five years later it now feels like a part of who I am. I am a writer. And it shocks me. It shocks me that I have been asked to write other places, that people trust me to review books and products, or bigger still, to be their voice on something as important as endometriosis. That they ask my opinions, that I am quoted in articles. That people enjoy what I write.

Thank you for coming here several times a week to read. Thank you for your comments. They are the fuel that keeps me writing. Thank you for your support. This five years has brought on very difficult times for me and my family. But oh, they have brought amazing times too. So thank you for sharing them with me. For cheering me on, for holding me up, for crying along with me. This blog has become a part of me. And so have all of you. I know I sound sorta weepy and cheesy here, but really, thank you all. It means more than I can say.

I don't ask often, but I would love it if you took a second and left a comment on this post. Just because your comments make me happy. And because it seems like five years is sorta a big deal. I mean, that's an entire hand, right?

** I spent about thirty minutes looking for a screen shot of what this blog used to look like. It was something special. You couldn't look directly at it or it would burn our your retinas. If I ever find it, I will be sure to share!

**Missy had her appointment with the NIH this morning and the tumor is much smaller! We are so very thankful for answered prayers. I will post more details over on her blog later this afternoon or tomorrow once I get to talk to her and my parents.

**UPDATE!**

Thank GOD my cousin was able to track down the beauty that was my original blog design. Now don't be shocked or anything, but I DID THIS ALL BY MYSELF! I am so talented, right? That full open space on the right, the tiny header, the seizure inducing circles.... I totally missed my calling to become a graphic designer, right?

When the Blog Replaces a Baby Book

2012-01-26T12:11:00.001-05:00

So this is one of those posts that maybe nobody cares much about except for myself and Henry's grandparents. But seeing as how I don't actually have a baby book for Henry, or I DO have one, but it is completely empty except for the random pieces of memorabilia I have stuck inside (such as his footprints and his hospital bracelet). Besides that the adorable book is pointless. THIS is Henry's virtual baby book. And so sometimes posts like this are necessary. Don't worry. I will include pictures to help make it more interesting.

Henry says Helloooo there. Welcome to my boring stats post.

Henry had his two and a half year check up yesterday. Yes, I know this is a little late. In all honesty, I kept waiting for him to get sick in order to take him in and kill two copay birds with one stone. Turns out the kid stayed healthy so I finally caved to make the appointment. THEN it turns out that with the new Obama Care Plan our office is no longer charging for copays on well child checks because insurance companies are suppose to cover them. AMAZING!

Henry says: Mama, even I am bored with this post. Move along to the interesting stuff!

So on to the stats! That we got completely for free!

Height: 36 1/2 inches 50-75th percentile

Weight: 26 pounds 5-10 percentile

Head: 20 inches 75-90 percentile

Henry says: That's right ladies. If you like tall and skinny with a slightly big head to hold all these brains, I am totally your man.

For the record, I don't think the height measurement is accurate. He was moving around like crazy I think he has at least another inch he can claim. I will get a tape measure at some point and make him stand against the wall in the bathroom to begin the family tradition of writing on walls to show a childs growth.

Henry says: Well that seems like a double standard. If I try to write on walls, I always get into a ton of trouble!

So that's about it. Tall, skinny, extremely healthy. You can't beat that!

A special thanks to Cousin Matt for these pictures of Henry. He was able to take some shots that actually capture what he REALLY looks like in some random, around the house snap shots. Something I have been trying to do now for two and a half years. I would say it was his fancy camera, but really I think it was the guy behind it who has an eye for capturing things on film. I love them, even though the boy pretty much refused to smile in all of them.

Or... almost all of them. My sweet boy. Two and a half already. How is it possible?

Stepping Back

2012-01-24T09:59:00.003-05:00

Thank you for all of your support yesterday. I am really doing okay. I find myself saying that a lot. But I am fine. Really, I am.

Yesterday after posting, I was emotional and wanted to get myself under control. I called Missy, who was spending the day with Henry. She answers the phone and was out of breath. She says sorry, they are just in the middle of a Michael Jackson dance party. At that point I hear Henry says "Dance Mimi! Dance!"

And I took a small step back from the emotional ledge.

After working my ten hour day I headed across campus to my class. It was our first time meeting and the professor is amazing. Each week we are to do some reading on a women's health topic, then email her a "Casual, in our own voice, opinion on what we found interesting about the reading". The rest of the class seemed to think it sounded difficult. I thought it sounded a lot like a blog post. Toward the end of the class she said that this class used to be called "Maternal Health" but she felt that did women in general a disservice. That many women do not have children, both because they choose not to and because they are not able to. This class would cover all of that. Both Infertility and Endometriosis were mentioned as topics we would cover. I smiled and thought that I am going to love this course.

And I took a small step back from the emotional ledge.

I went home and had a late dinner with Nick and Henry. We played matchbox cars and then read stories before bed. He picked out 'I Love You Forever'.

And I took a small step back from the emotional ledge.

After tucking him in I went into the kitchen and started cooking a casserole to bring to my friend at work. She lost her mom last week and today is her first day back. I thought of my mom. Of my family. And I thought how much worse things could be. How lucky I am.

And I took a small step back from the emotional ledge.

I climbed into bed around midnight. Exhausted. But feeling much better than I did when I woke up. Someties it all comes crashing down, and you are pushed to your emotional limits. That was me yesterday. Not for any one reason, but for lots of little ones that just added up. But still, you can't live your life on the ledge. There are too many good things going on around me that I don't want to miss.

Thank you all for listening. Thank you for helping me take a step back. Because your words of support did just that. They helped me take one more step back from the ledge.

The Ledge

2012-01-23T09:22:00.000-05:00

I feel like I am on an emotional ledge. I don't exactly know how I got here, but here I sit.

Missy goes back up to the NIH this week for a new MRI and a reevaluation of the tumor growth. And I am terrified.

Nick's job is running out of funding in the next few weeks. We don't have an exact end date, but it is coming soon. He is trying to line up something else here at the University, but so far the best we have is that hopefully someone can get him on in June. Hopefully. We don't want to move, but we cannot afford to live on my salary alone. That is actually almost a joke. We can't even come CLOSE to living on my salary. Having the primary bread winner (who carries Henry on his insurance) out of work is terrifying. And we are staring that reality down the barrel.

My endo is moving back to the land of Out Of Control. My periods are lasting around 14 days and are extremely painful. I know it's time to go in and talk to the doctor. To talk about another surgery, but that will cost us money we don't really have. To talk about going back on birth control, but in all honesty birth control makes me feel worse that I have these last few months off of it. Rather than a two week painful period and then two weeks basically symptom free, on birth control I am just crampy and uncomfortable all the time with constant spotting and then the added bonus of extremely painful periods to boot. And of course, I don't want to go on birth control. Because that will officially be THE END. And although I should be ready for that, I am just not.

If the Last Chance FET had worked I would be due next month. And that breaks my heart.

So that is where I am at. On an emotional ledge trying really hard not to let my lower lip quiver. I sat down to write something funny and up beat, and for the life of me I couldn't thing of a thing to say. Maybe this is why. Because right now I am not in a funny and upbeat place. I am in a hard place. And they happen, and I will get through it. But today, I am on the ledge, and it's a hard place to hang out.

Freaky Friday

2012-01-20T07:44:00.002-05:00

You know that movie Freaky Friday *? The one where the mom and daughter switch places?

Yeah, something sorta like that is what I found at bedtime the other night in Henry's room.

Henry says: "Mama, I have really thought this through. I will tuck him in, read him Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, rub his back and THEN, Henry will sleep in MAMA'S BED! It's fool proof!"

*I know, right? What a freak for linking to the Lindsay Lohan version. But the thing is, when I looked at the page for the 1976 version I had NO MEMORY of those characters. Like I feel like I saw that movie...but just... a total blank when I look at the poster. I guess I am of the Lindsay Lohan Freaky Friday generation. Crazy. Also, did you know JODIE FOSTER is the kid in the original movie? A little Disney movie trivia for you, right there!

BlogHer Book Club: The Underside of Joy

2012-01-19T05:30:00.000-05:00

Did you stop by yesterday? Were you confused? A good blogger would have mentioned the day before if they planned to take part in an internet wide Blackout in order to fight censorship of the web. Sorry about that. If you are curious about the details of the SOPA and PIPA Bill and the reasons for the blackout, watch this video.

Now on to the book review!

I recently finished reading The Underside of Joy, the debut novel by Seré Prince Halverson for the BlogHer Book Club (paid review... my opinions are my own. Just like always) and I was left with nothing but mixed feelings on the book. The main character Ella is an infertile woman who suffers five miscarriages before walking away from her husband and her life in Southern California. While driving to... well, nowhere in particular, she stops off at a grocery store and stumbles upon the store owner who has two very small children and a wife who has left and said she will never be coming back. She moves in and becomes wife and Mommy. Like right away. Like that very same day.

That story line alone somehow breaks my heart. This woman was so desperate to be a family after her struggle with infertility that she just picked one up at the local grocery store. No questions asked. But the story actually begins three years after this chance encounter that led to the family of four, when her new husband and father of the two children is killed by a sleeper wave one morning. His death leads to the revelation that Ella had been living in a bubble in regards to the details of their lives. She knew nothing of their finances or the future of their small town store, and more importantly, she knew nothing of the details of her husbands first marriage or the biological mother of her two children, who returns to the picture to challenge Ella for custody.

The Underside of Joy takes you through the story of this grieving wife and mother who finds herself trying to save her family, save their store, and save herself. The writing is excellent and the story was interesting, but I had a hard time in general with Ella. Many of her decisions both before and after the death of her husband were just hard to understand and many times hard to accept. Maybe her infertility and her desire to be a mother above all else just hit a little too close to home.

We will be discussing The Underside of Joy for the next month over at BlogHer! Please come join in the conversation.

Home Again

2012-01-17T07:37:00.004-05:00

Well, we are back home. What? Did I forget to mention that we went to South Carolina for the weekend? Well, we did. And at this rate I will visit all 50 states by the end of the year!

(The math for this crazy statement is that I have been to six states in the first thirteen days of the year. I mean... really I just drove through most of them, but STILL. I am counting it for the sake of my crazy 50 state projection. So if I do the math... six states every 13 days. That is basically a state every two days, right? And THAT means I should see no less than 132 states this year. Since I will tap out at 50 states (since that is all there are) I should be done with this US tour by spring. I have some travel planning to do....)

(one of these days visiting all 50 states should be on my New Years Resolution list. On a year I have much more money than this current year I am living in)

ANYWAY.

That was a long and boring tangent. But I am leaving it because...well...this post doesn't really have a lot of meat to it. A few random pictures and that's it. So might as well tack on a tangent to make it feel more substantial.

ANYWAY AGAIN.

PICTURES!

Here is the reason we drove to South Carolina for a quick weekend trip. It had been WAY too long since we made the drive over the mountains to visit our Mawmaw.

And it ended up working out perfectly because Cousin Matt (who in my head has taken on the title "Cousin Matt" in the way the other family is "Aunt Candice" or "Uncle Chris") flew in from Portland for a visit. We haven't seen him in a couple years so it was awesome! We got to watch his short film (which he wrote, filmed, directed...you name it, he did it) Jack and Jill, which made the trip that much more enjoyable.

Add in some warming our feet by the fire...
Some old school cabin building...

and some crazy angry birds driving a Barbie Camper and you have a perfect all around South Carolina weekend!

King of the Castle

2012-01-13T10:01:00.003-05:00

For some reason Henry thinks all homes belong to the woman in the family. Our house is "Mama's House!". And he tells us about it often. I usually say "Yes baby, this is Mama's house and Papa's house and Henry's house!". He agrees... just to placate me, then goes back to yelling "Mama's House!" and pointing to the ceiling. And this isn't just with our house. We have "Boo's House!", "Nanny's House!", "Nana's House!". Every house seems to belong to the Mama (or grandmama) in residence. but there is one exception.

Nick's dad recently sold his house that was about a half hour away and is moving back to the city. We are SO excited to have him here. We now can drop in regularly, stopping by for waffles for dinner or to watch a playoff football game. Or... you know... to drop off a two year old and let Mama and Papa have a grown up dinner somewhere in town. But since Granddaddy was wanting to build a new house here, but didn't want to start construction until the old house sold, he is currently living in an apartment building. It is a nice place, all brick with three stories and open stairwells you can see from the parking lot. It looks like a normal apartment complex.

Well, this weekend we pulled in to the parking lot and Henry looks up at the building and whispers "Granddaddy's Castle?" We laughed and told him it was Granddaddy's apartment and went inside.

A little side note: "How does Henry even know about castles?" you ask? Well that might have something to do with his love of Tangled. WHAT? Boys can like princess movies! We are not categorizing between girl and boys things around here... We are all for equality! (Translation. Mama loves that movie) Or it could be because we pass our local castle on the way to Nana's house. No really. We have a local castle. And we are proud of it. Not many cities US cities have an actual castle.

So anyway, we head into the apartment to visit with Grandaddy and Val. Henry has a great time. They laugh and play, they watch movies and they hid under the kitchen table like it's a fort. After about an hour Henry climbs onto the couch, looks at us and says "Grandaddy's CASTLE!" and points to the ceiling. It's official. Grandaddy lives in a castle.

And I think we all know who is King.

Bloggers for Hope

2012-01-11T09:54:00.002-05:00

I am so excited to tell you all about a very special project I am working on with Chance to Hope, a non-profit organization for infertility awareness and financial support. The founders of CTH contacted me in the end of 2011 and asked if I would be interested in joining a team of infertility bloggers for their new project, Bloggers for Hope. The basic premise of the project is to provide a location where women and families can come to read first hand accounts of other couples who have experienced the infertility struggles they now find themselves going through. The site will focus on all forms of infertility and it's causes, having writers from each main catagory of infertility blogging on a regular basis.

I am very proud say that I will be the blogger discussing endometriosis on Bloggers for Hope, and I could not be more honored to be a part of such an amazing group of people. They are passionate about getting information out about infertility as well as providing financial grants to families who are wanting to build their family but need medical assistance. Today my first post is up, which tells our entire back story of my diagnosis with endometriosis and how that led to my infertility. Please take the time to click over and read it if you are interested.

As I wrote it I realized that I had never put the entire story down in one place before. As much as I blog, I had never just done my history. That is what Bloggers for Hope is about. If someone newly diagnosed with endometriosis were to google bloggers with endo, they would find me. But what they would see would be what you see every day. My life. This blog will allow people to find exactly what they are looking for. A personal story, support, and a community. It is an amazing project and I am lucky to be involved. Please take the time to click over and support them (us) by reading.

Meeting Nora

2012-01-10T11:32:00.001-05:00

I tried hard (well...sorta hard. I thought about it for a second) to come up with a better title for this post. But really, you don't care what I call it or even what words I type. You just want to see Nora pictures, right? That's what I figured.

Henry was so excited to meet his new cousin! He calls her "baby Nora" and it is the sweetest thing I have ever heard in my life.

He loves her so.

And so does her big sister!

These three. I see a lot of love. And maybe a little trouble.

PS. Her Aunt and Uncle are in love with her too

PPS. So is her Papaw

PPPS. Also, Big Sister is awfully adorable.

4.0

2012-01-09T08:10:00.000-05:00

This week classes start again, and I am once again enrolled. Four semesters down, one Masters class at a time. Only another ten to go. I don't talk about the fact that I am working on my Masters very often here on the blog (or anywhere else for that matter). I tell myself it isn't really worth talking about or getting excited about. I am proud of my 4.0 Masters GPA, but it is only one class, nothing to brag about.

But then I think about it. And you know, I think it's okay to be proud of myself. It isn't like the ONLY thing I am doing is taking one class a semester. I work full time, I am a mother and a wife, a sister and a daughter. I write this blog, and write several other places as well. I read books and do reviews, I spend time with my girl friends and family. And in the middle of that, I have managed to continue taking classes and to do extremely well at them. To maintain a 4.0 in a very challenging masters program.

So, I think it's okay to say it. You guys, I am really REALLY proud of myself. I am bettering myself and the future of my family. I am working hard and am learning so much. This is worth my time and energy, and I am proud of the fact that I am doing it and doing it well.

So here is to another semester. This time I am taking Women's Health Behavior. It will be extremely interesting and will get me three credit hours closer to my final goal of a Masters in Public Health. Here's to a 4.0, one class at a time.

Are You Ready for Some Football?

2012-01-07T14:24:00.001-05:00

**This is my 1000th post. I know, right? You would think I would have gotten all sappy and emotional about how much this blog means to me. Don't worry, that is coming in a few weeks when I hit 5 years. For now I thought it was worth mentioning. One Thousand posts. Not too shabby.

Mama Says: "Henry, did you know something exciting is happening today??"
Henry says: " I didn't until you put me in the get up. But now I have a feeling that it has to do with football..."

Mama Says: That's right baby! The Bengals made the playoffs! Can you believe it?

Henry says: Clearly YOU can't believe it since you never even got around to buying me Bengals clothes in my own size. And you have me in a Houshmandzadeh jersey?? Come on Mama... give me Green, or Dalton at least! Housh hasn't been a Bengal in YEARS!

Mama says: I know baby, I MEANT to get you something... but this was suppose to be a rebuilding year! And...well...I kept forgetting. Besides, Houshmandzadeh is awesome.

Henry says: He's okay. I mean, he is no Ocho Cinco. That man knew how to do a Touchdown dance.
Sorta like me.

Henry says: But seriously Mama, are you ready for some football?

Mama says: Oh yes baby. I am ready for some football! GO BENGALS!

Someone...

2012-01-05T07:32:00.000-05:00

Someone got Lego Duplos for Christmas.

And Someone is really enjoying them

And someone might even be allowed to play with the new Lego creations.

Under someone's parental supervision of course. Someone has got to protect his robot creation. I mean, a robot who can pic up a VW van with one hand is totally worth protecting. No matter how old the someone who built it might be.

Resolutions: Reviewing and Renewing

2012-01-03T10:48:00.000-05:00

So resolutions. I made them last year. I blogged about them to keep myself accountable. And you know what? It was awesome! I thought about them all year. I was so aware of them! I TRIED! And really it was all one big success as far as sticking to resolutions goes. And I am proud of it. And more importantly, I want to do it again! Because it was nice to have goals written down for the year. So we are going to review my success and then sent up new goals to tackle in 2012. Sound fun?

No??

Well, I will reward you with Nora pictures at the end of this, so just stick with me...

So my 2011 Resolutions:

Find peace with the size of our family. Well... I sorta started out with a hard one, didn't I? This is rather hard to accomplish within a year, especially when the year contains 2 FET's that were SUPPOSE to allow me to have peace because my family was my perfect size. BUT, since things in 2011 didn't go that way, I feel like I am still doing well with this one. I mean, I struggle, as you all know, but most of the time I am doing well with it. I am not letting our lack of baby #2 hold me back. I am embracing the life we are given, and I think that is the best I could have done with this one. SO, CHECK!
To Read at least 24 books. CHECK! In 2011 I read 27 books, and several of those were beasts in the way of page numbers (OUTLANDER SERIES). So I feel REALLY good about this one.
Nick and I to take a weekend away. Okay, we didn't exactly do this one. But we DID take a full week long family vacation, and I have decided that it counts. SO CHECK. Although I would still like to do something just us. So maybe it gets a half check.
Make more time for church. Hummm... I sorta forgot this one was on there, which means I really didn't do too well with it. We did go a fair bit, but I would say not nearly enough. I cannot in good conscience give this one a check. So.... RESOLUTION FAIL.
Wear more skirts or dresses. CHECK! I did really well with this one! And you know what? I felt very pretty every time I wore them. There is just something nice about wearing a skirt or dress that makes me feel pretty. And without this goal I wouldn't have pushed myself to wear them. So success!

So if we are keeping track here, that puts me at a score of 3.5/5 checks. Not exactly perfect, but I would be at 0/5 without my list!

Now on to 2012:

Read six classic books (and continue same goal of 24 books a year). I like having a reading goal. So, this goes on the list again, but this time I want to force myself to read some classics. I have no idea why I steer clear of them, but I want to stop. There are some books everyone should read and I want to read them! Pride and Prejudice, Little Women, The Great Gatsby, put them on the list for 2012! Have a favorite classic I should read? Leave it in the comments and I will add it to my list.
Lose 15 pounds in the first quarter on the year, still have it off in the last quarter. I know, I know. Weight loss, how cliche. But seriously, maybe putting it down in my resolution list (and telling you all) AND setting rules (like keeping it off) will help. Because this 15 pounds is killing me. I just hate it.
Paint. Years ago I got a Bob Ross painting set and easel. I never used them. There was just never a good place to set it up, never the right time to get started. And I hate that. I REALLY want to do it. I am just a little artistic and think I might be good at it. And even if I am not, I want to TRY. So this summer while Henry is playing in the back yard I am going to try my hand at painting.
Take Henry to fun, interesting and educational places throughout the year. I don't want to fall into a routine of doing nothing. I don't want to let lack of money stand in our way of taking him places. I want to plan, and then follow through with being active, being outside, having him go places and see things that are new and different. The Zoo, the Children's Museum, The Nature Preserve, Hiking, Swimming, a Movie, the Aquarium. Just Stuff. He is getting big enough to enjoy these things. He is growing up so fast, I don't want to let this time pass without filling it with memories beyond our house and our yard.
Do not allow social media to influence me. I don't want to live life behind a screen. Sometimes reading things like Facebook gives me the feeling of keeping up with the Jones and I just don't want to feel the need to post every detail of our life online in real time. And I don't mean this blog (which might be hypocritical, but it is what it is). I love that you are here, and I LOVE your comments and interactions, but this space is different than Facebook. It is written on my own time, in my own way. It is personal to me. Facebook and Twitter are running conversations and I sometimes struggle with stepping away because I feel like I am missing something. I don't want to feel that way. I don't want to be pulling one of these sites on my phone to read what other people are doing rather than enjoying what I AM DOING. This is my life, and I love it. There is a time and a place for social media. I want to make sure to keep it in it's place this year, which is on the back burner.

So there it is! My list for 2012. Do stuff with Henry, be online less, read, paint, lose weight. It feel doable! It feels like five things that are a great focus for 2012.

What? Oh right. NORA. What you all are really still here for!

Part like it's 2012!

The Little Sisters

Happy...

NEW YEAR!

The Best of Bio Girl 2011

2011-12-31T06:00:00.000-05:00

This is the fifth year I posted a 'Best of Bio Girl' on New Years Eve (here are 2007, 2008 , 2009 and 2010 if you really want to do a BG marathon of epic proportions) I have no idea if you all want to read through my old posts, but I get a lot of joy out of looking back over my year of blogging and picking out what I think were my best posts. I have thought about keeping a running list, but I find that I am sometimes surprised by what I like at the end of the year. Posts that didn't seem that funny or important when I wrote them sometimes become my favorite. Posts that I thought were great just seem average when I reread them months later. So really, it works best to make my list at the very end of the year. Or at least that is what I tell my procrastinating heart.

So on to the list!

Starting right out of the gate with a post I totally forgot about, but made me laugh sorta hard when I remembered getting yelled at our the Post Office!
This post is from Last January and is about Missy's second sugery. I have always loved it, but it is very sad. Maybe that is why I like it. If feels honest.
Let's lighten things back up here on our 'Best Of' list! Nick babysat for Cici. They had fun.
Remember that time Henry acted drunk with his Speech Therapist? No? Well here is the story.
A post about Henry waking up early on a work day. I sorta love this glimpse of a random morning.
We welcome the world to Henryville, the most wonderful place to live.
Henry's birthday picture slideshow is always and forever one of my favorite posts of the year. An entire year worth of pictures of my boy set to music and packed into four minutes? How could it not be my favorite?
We cracked the code for Henry's good night sleep! (Key card included)
I sometimes reread this post when I am having a hard day about our infertility. It is a about a day before our final FET where I really felt at peace with the size of our family, no matter what happened with the last cycle.
This summer I found out what happens when Mama leaves the house for a weekend.
I wrote a lot of posts about our Final FET and the heartache that followed. This one is what I picked for my Creme de la Creme submission for 2011. I love it. It feels like my heart is on the blog in this post.
My god, I am a sap this year, but here is another post that captures Henry at a specific moment and it just MELTS. MY. HEART.
Someone struggles with keeping the TR- (rather than an F) in TRRRuck.
In this post Henry and I debate the need for a haircut vs just allowing him to become a Samuri and wear a Topknott.
Here is a post where I found another infertile who had been in the Trenches at my work. Still, every time I see him in the hallways I think "we are more alike than anybody would know"
Here is a post that captures the reasons I spend time blogging.
We went to Florida. I set our pictures to music. Henry and I enjoy watching it ALL. THE. TIME.
Our two little owls! (I am still extremely proud of these home made costumes!)
Here is a post about making wishes on 11-11-11 that I think is pretty good.
I love this post about Dancing with Henry.
I am including more sad posts than normal on this years list, but here is one about still being Raw about our failed cycles and the fact that we are now out of the infertile game.
Of course we have to include our Battle with the Squirrels in our Attic! We are happy to report wehave had no additional POW's.
And we will end the list with Life Lessons according to Angry Birds. Because this post makes me smile!

And that's it! The Best of Bio Girl 2011 is COMPLETE! And incredibly long. Like MUCH longer than years past. Does this mean I am becoming a better blogger or that I am less selective than I used to be? Only you can tell! Click around if you want. Read some old posts. Let me know what you liked from the blog this year!

I hope you all have a wonderful time ringing in the New Year. See you in 2012!

A Very Merry Christmas

2011-12-30T14:54:00.000-05:00

This was one of the very best Christmas seasons I have ever had. Henry was in love with the tree and the Christmas lights. He talked about Santa and would say he wants him to bring "CANDY!" (and when pressed for more details, included a request for M&Ms ). He loved opening presents. We had shreeks and giggles. Yells of "ANGRY BIRDS!" or "PLAYDOUGH!" . He loved his time with all of his family, constantly excited and amazed as we once again got in the car to spend entire days with our favorite people.

It was just... perfect. And the idea that this amazing holiday could be better next year. That he will understand better, that he will be MORE excited, that this could get any more fun. It doesn't seem possible.

And I could talk about that forever. Our love of Christmas. Our amazing week. But you see... I am sorta someplace special.

And you know, this is sorta important. So rather than talk and talk and talk about the magic that was Christmas, here is a slideshow. It says it better than I could anyway. Because truly, it was magic.

Song: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Frank Sinatra

There is only one thing I can think of that will make Christmas even more wonderful next year...

Life Lessons- The Angry Birds Edition

2011-12-28T14:04:00.000-05:00

When Facing a difficult situation...

Don't hesitate...

Just attack!

When things seem too big to handle...

Consider using weapons to gain an advantage.

Always recover your weapon so you are ready for further attacks

When things seems a little too easy...

Approach with caution.

And always keep them guessing

Attack when they least expect it

Perfect your battle cry...

Claim the newly conquered land as your own...

build on that land as soon as possible. You never know when unwanted birds or pigs might try to take it over.

**Just a few pictures from Christmas morning. Many more to come in the way of a slide show! (you are excited about a slideshow five days after a holiday is over, right? RIGHT? I have over 400 pictures. Even if I only pick the top 25%, a slideshow is in order.) I am heading to meet Sweet Nora this weekend (YAY!!), but should hopefully have a Christmas post on Friday, the Best of Bio Girl for 2011 on Saturday and my Resolution post on Sunday or Monday. Gotta love traditions to make blogging easy during the holidays. Hope everyone is enjoying the season as much as we are at the Bio Girl house. It has been amazing.

Introducing Sweet Nora

2011-12-27T09:55:00.001-05:00

She is finally here! Meet Nora.

Just one picture and I am completely in love. Isn't she beautiful?

Nora finally decided to join us this morning at 5:39am, weighing in at 8lbs 1oz.

The birth mom was induced at 8am yesterday, so it was a long labor! I don't know any details about how the delivery went yet (because I was sound asleep, and now Boo is sound asleep!). Boo said last night that they really liked both the birth mom and the biological grandmother. They spend most of their time in the delivery room with them all day yesterday and last night, and I am sure it was an amazing experience to get to be so present during the birth of their daughter!

** I know, Christmas, right? What blogger just SKIPS Christmas? It has honestly been the best Christmas of my life. Just perfect. And I have pictures. LOTS of pictures. I will post a few tomorrow and a LOT after our final Christmas on Thursday. Just hold tight. It shall be well documented!

Squirrel Fight

2011-12-23T10:25:00.005-05:00

So you know that squirrel I casually mentioned a few days ago? The one that was INSIDE MY HOUSE? Yeah. Let's talk about that, shall we?

So recently we have had a couple of squirrels move into our attic. It is extremely annoying. We heard them running around, so Nick went out and found a small hole they were using to get in. He covered it up, thinking the problem was solved, and went about his day. The problem was not solved.

The next day we noticed a nice hole had been chewed into our gutter and soffit. That's right. The damn thing chewed through a METAL gutter. Nick patched that up and a new hole arrived the next morning on the soffit over our front porch. Nick promises to buy a trap on his way home from work because clearly these squirrels need to be relocated far far away from our house.

Unfortunately "on the way home from work" was just a little too late. At 3pm last Friday Nick's mom called. There was a squirrel...and it was INSIDE. Nick rushes home to find a WILD ANIMAL has taken over our laundry room. It came down through an old attic entrance that was covered with insulation, which apparently Mr. Squirrel was jumping on which brought the entire thing crashing onto the Washer. The damn thing ran straight up a wall. How is that even possible? Nick comes in and opens all the doors, trying to get the thing to run out of the house, when the squirrel instead decides to take refuge under our China cabinet. Mr. Squirrels last stand.

Nick quickly blocks off all openings under the china cabinet and runs to the garage to build a quick cage. He drills a small hole on one side of the blockage so he can scare the Mr. Squirrel into the opening on the opposite side which happens to lead to the home made cage. It was genius. Except Mr. Squirrel poked his head into the cage one time and yelled "HELL NO!" and returned to the deep recess of his hiding place. He started Hissing and growling like crazy. You all, it was TERRIBLE. Every time we walking near him he would start to growl and I became convinced he was going to chew his way out and eat off our faces to punish us. Then he would take our house as his prize.

So we had to come up with a plan. Mr Squirrel would not leave. He sounded Rabid under our China Cabinet and he refused to enter the trap. So... (this is where I get glad I don't have a million readers to tell me I am a bad person. Please remember, squirrels are RODENTS. They are basically rats with tails. And it was IN MY HOUSE. WHERE MY BABY SLEEPS. AND I LIKE MY FACE AND DON'T WANT IT EATEN OFF) we decided Mr. Squirrel needed to no longer live. ("die" sounds so harsh.) Nick's grandmother is the master of killing squirrels (they take her pecans. she will NOT apologize for killing every last one of them). And she told us if you just leave them they will die within a day or two. But... Mr. Squirrel was IN MY HOUSE (did I mention that) and you know... the face eating thing was in my head. So we (Nick) came up with a plan.

It wasn't like we could shoot it, so we came to the idea of poison. Except. Well, he would have to eat it. And he didn't seem like he was in a snacking mood. And we wanted something painless and fast. That is when my scientist husband came up with an idea. A humane idea. An idea that would inflict no pain on the WILD RODENT we have in our house. We were going with Euthanasia.

So we got some dry ice. Nick kept saying "The science is sound...this should work" . CO2 poisoning is painless, he would just go to sleep. So...we chopped up the dry ice and slid it under the cabinet. Nick "borrowed" (we threw it away afterwards) some of Henry's play dough to cover up air holes so it would be quick. And... well, it was. And it was over.

So we were sorta proud and at the same time felt sorta bad. I mean, we aren't hunters. We are totally meat eaters, but the kind that buy all that mean packaged at the grocery store. For god sake, we used our Chemistry background to come up with a plan to GAS A SQUIRREL. We are not cut out for this. So the next day we bought a live trap.

The next day we caught one alive. Nick had to carry the cage down from the attic while Mrs. Squirrel was dive bombing at the door right by his face to try to get out. We googled how far you have to go to relocate a squirrel so it can't come home. THIRTEEN MILES. So in the pouring rain we left the county to give Mrs. Squirrel a new home.

We were pretty please with ourselves for our nature friendly ways as Nick got out in the rain to release her into the wild. And I will be damned if she didn't run straight out into the road. Idiot squirrel.

Last night we heard another one up there. God Help us.

Any. Day. Now.

2011-12-22T09:06:00.004-05:00

Mama says: Hi Henry.

Henry says: Hello...

Mama says: Are you ready for your cousin to be born? It will be Any day now!

Henry says: I find it hilarious that you think you know ANYTHING about when Baby Girl is going to be born!

Mama says: No no, REALLY! ANY. DAY. NOW!

Henry says: Ahhh hahahaha!! You... with your.... oh I can't breath. You are funny Mama, thinking you know stuff. You have been saying this for a MONTH! I no longer believe you.

Mama: Henry! Stop laughing at me! I DO KNOW! They are inducing her on MONDAY! SO there! I told you I know stuff. Don't mock your mother.

Henry says: Wait, Monday? Baby girl will be born on Monday??

Mama says: That's Right! Aren't you so excited? Cici will have a new little sister!

Henry says: Gotta go Mama. Need to hide all my toys.

**As long as the birth mom doesn't go into labor on her own this weekend, Baby girl officially has an eviction date of December 26th. What a wonderful late Christmas present. We are SO excited.

Sisterly Updates of the Happier Variety

2011-12-20T17:32:00.001-05:00

Well Missy and my parents had the conference call with the doctors up at the NIH and after meeting and discussing Missy's case the doctors decided that Missy does NOT need surgery right now! This is such a blessing. These surgeries are extremely difficult on Missy and come with a ton of terrifying possible complications, so avoiding surgery is the greatest news we could have possibly gotten today.

What it basically comes down to is that although the growth of the tumor over the last eight weeks is alarming, the tumor is not extremely large. Combine that with the fact that she is having no side effects from the tumor, and it makes them think surgery is not what she needs at this time. There is the IV treatment that has not only prevented growth of this tumor but has actually shrank it a little in size, and they think the best treatment is to go with the medication first, then see where we are in a few weeks.

So they want her back on her IV meds. Like first thing tomorrow. She will do a treatment right away, then another in two weeks. Two weeks after that she will go back to the NIH for another scan. Hopefully it will show no new growth. The option for surgery is still on the table at a later point, she is very strong and the tumor is operable, they just do not think the benefits out weight the risks as of today. We are hoping this medicine continues to work and she does not need surgery any time soon!

Yay!!! (!!!!) (!!!!!)

As for my other lovely sister, the birth mom went to the doctor today, but we have not had a report. We are assuming no news means all is the same. The child is holding out until 2012, I am telling you!

Thank you for all of your comments, emails, prayers and support of my sisters. It means so much to me how you all embrace my entire family. I will continue to keep you in the loop on Missy's treatments and our sweet Baby Girl!

Nap

2011-12-19T09:52:00.000-05:00

** No new baby news.

** An update on Missy will come tomorrow afternoon after the doctors meet to decided if they officially suggest surgery. We are anxiously waiting, but doing okay. Missy is so strong. She is doing awesome. If you aren't sure what I am talking about, I posted on Saturday.

**It's officially cycle day one, and endo cramping and back pain are in full swing. Awesome.

** And now I am going to post a cute story about Henry. Just because.

On Saturday Henry missed his nap. For awhile, back in September or so, he stopped needing a nap. We thought he had outgrown them, and were really fine with it. I mean, I LIKE nap time, but I hated the fight to get him to actually GO TO SLEEP, so whatever. Then we went on vacation and all of a sudden he remembered that he loved his nap. He takes one most days now and there is little to no fight about it. He happily lays down and passes out.

Well, Saturday we were running around and nap time came and went. We didn't think it was a big deal. He went months without a nap, right? Should be fine. At 6pm he asked for a glass of milk. Not unusual, but he does always have a glass of milk before bed (which is typically around 9:30pm). He then crawled up in Nicks lap and passed out. When this has happened in the past it has meant DOOM for for me and Nick getting any sleep. He wakes up around 2am and stays awake until around five or six. But we tried to wake him up and he wasn't having it, so we just laid him down in his bed, accepting that we would be up all night.

At 2am he woke up. Calling out to us, so Nick went in there to tuck him back in. Henry looked at Nick and said "Henwee" (because he talks about himself in the third person. Always. and it is so adorable we don't correct him. Also, he can't say his R's, so he says Henwee instead of Henry.) anyway he said "Henwee get up??" And Nick said "No bubby, it's the middle of the night. It sleeping time." He then rolled over and went back to sleep, but we expected to hear from him again in 20 minutes.

At 9:20 Saturday morning I wake up again. This time I hear "MAMA!!!" I walk into his room and he is sitting in his bed with a huge smile on his face. He then says "ALLLLL DOOOONE SLEEPING!!!" and jumps out of bed and heads for the living room before I can stop him (maybe afraid I would say he needed to go back to sleep).

What? You are all done sleeping after FIFTEEN HOURS? Go figure.

You guys, It. Was. Awesome.

The Day After Yesterday

2011-12-17T11:45:00.003-05:00

I sort of left you all hanging yesterday. Promising updates on both sister fronts, only to go completely silent. I know. It's just I needed a day to process. And now here I am. The day after yesterday.

Missy's MRI results came back showing aggressive new growth of her tumor. So aggressive that the doctors up at the NIH (National Institute of Health) think the best action to take is most likely going to be to go in and remove the new growth. Her doctor will meet with the board on Tuesday, but he seemed to think at their appointment on Friday that surgery would be the best option. This is not the worst news we could receive, although it took me several hours to realize that. The worst news could have been that there was aggressive growth and there is nothing they can do. This is worlds better than that, and that fact is what I am holding on to. We have options. We have treatments. We can fight.

Actually we have two treatments, which makes this news even easier to handle (not to down play the blow that this news has been to our entire family and especially Missy, who will have to have a third brain surgery in 18 months). Four months ago the doctors took Missy off an IV infusion treatment that was meant to cut off the blood supply to the tumor. The six months she was on that medication there was no growth. She was also on a chemotherapy pill, which they left her on, but gave her a break from the IV medication. Without that medication the tumor has grown out of control.

Fighting cancer is very hard. And the most effect way to fight it is to remove as much as possible. And that's what they want to do. The most effective treatment. Because she is very strong, she is fighting very hard, and they want to give her the very best chance to beat this. And that means taking out what they can, then putting her back on the medication that we now know works to stop growth of whatever is left. So we think that is the plan. So we will know for sure on Tuesday, but we are expecting surgery in early January.

Fuck yesterday. Fuck Cancer. Today we are looking at how lucky we are to have two very good ways to fight this cancer. Today we are fighting.

**Yesterday also held news on Baby Girl, but nothing exciting like a planned birth day. They say she has flipped back over, but we found out they are basing her position by nothing but feel. She has not had an ultrasound since she was 7 months (her one and only ultrasound). The birth mom did not realize she was pregnant until she was six months along, so her dates are very questionable. The birth mom is not dilated at all, baby and mom are both doing good, blood pressure is fine, they seem set to just let her keep going and let Baby Girl decide when she is ready. Could be soon, could be in January. Who the heck knows at this point.

**Yesterday also included the event of a LIVE SQUIRREL getting into our house. That's right. But that is a story for another day.

Backing Up

2011-12-16T09:16:00.001-05:00

I don't have any news on either of my sisters yet this morning. When I know about Missy's results I will post over on her blog and will update this post to let you know it is posted. I will also update this post to include any new news with Baby Girl, short of a birth. A birth will of course receive it's very own blog post.

I was reading Melissa over at Stirrup Queen's blog last night and she had a post about backing up your blog. Reading it gave me a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Oh lord, I have really been MEANING to back up this blog. I have been MEANING to do it for the last...Five years.

The truth of the matter is that this blog is not saved anywhere but right here. I have no copies of posts. No saved template. No back up of comments. No nothing. NOTHING. If there was a glitch in the Matrix and I logged in to Blogger tomorrow and found a notice that my blog was gone, corrupted or accidentally deleted, there would be nothing I could do. It would just be lost.

Do you know how devastating that would be for me? DO YOU?? So after being freaked out by Melissa I decided that I was going to back up RIGHT THEN. Of course I did. Because what if my blog is GONE in the morning? What if it is GONE in ten minutes?? DO I HAVE TIME TO BACK IT UP BEFORE IT GETS DELETED? I decided the quickest easiest way to do a basic back up was to first just copy and past all my posts into a word document. This was suggested by Melissa, so I didn't come up with the plan on my own. I know there are ways to back it up online, and I want to do that TOO, but I thought for now a Word document of all my posts would allow me to sleep at night.

So I started cutting and pasting. The most recent posts first, then just clicking "Older Posts" to get to the next page. I was doing about 20 posts at a time, and I thought it would be a quick process.

You guys. How do you even read this blog? It is a NOVEL of epic proportions. Do you want to know how far I made it with my copy and paste method? I made it to May. Of THIS YEAR. Do you know how long that took me? OVER AN HOUR.

And here's the kicker. Do you want to know how long my Word document was for the last eight months?

253 pages.

And I know what you are thinking. I do. I have a lot of pictures posted. Surely most of that 253 pages are picture, right? Well Word also gave me a word count on my document. Are you ready?

53,000.

FIFTY THREE THOUSAND WORDS IN EIGHT MONTHS.

Now I just need to copy and past the other FOUR YEARS AND THREE MONTHS into the document.

Good lord.

Do you all back up your blog? Do you make a copy as you go? Does anybody have a good blog back up method they would like to share with me? Clearly I need one.

I Can't Even Think of a Title

2011-12-15T10:43:00.001-05:00

I feel like I should post, but am lacking in subjects to talk about. Or rather, my mind is just consumed with thoughts of Christmas and gifts, wrapping and finishing up work for the year... Oh, and the fact that BABY GIRL WILL BE BORN ANY MINUTE! And between all that thinking I can't seem to string together one solid thought for blogging. Not even a title. But I am here. All is well. We are waiting.

The birth mom is 40 weeks tomorrow. She went to the doctor yesterday and found out that Baby Girl has flipped back around and is now breech. For some reason they did not schedule her for a C-section , but instead just told her to come back in to the office tomorrow. We are hoping for some kind of a plan then.

In other sister related news, Missy is up at the NIH for her 8 week scan to see how things are looking. All prayers and good thoughts are very appreciated for both of my sisters over the next 48 hours. Prayers for good MRI's and for a safe delivery of Baby Girl ASAP. If she is born this weekend Boo and Chris might still have a chance of being home for Christmas. Otherwise they will most likely be in a hotel celebrating with their new baby several hours away.

So that's about it I guess. Not much of a post. I guess I can leave you with a picture at least...

Someone is REALLY ready to meet her baby sister!