Bipolar Wellness Writer

What I've Learned in 2009

2009-12-14T00:01:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends, I'm having a lovely holiday season. In fact, I feel the best I have in years. It's undoubtedly due to changing patterns that didn't produce happiness or joy, and developing new traditions that do (clearly an ongoing process). Also, it's also due to all the months this year I spent in therapy in order to resolve old issues and move on. What I learned about myself (in a nutshell) is

Welllness Activities: Making Changes

2009-11-30T11:52:00.000-08:00

Drought Tolerant Plants from Las Palitas NurseryFor those of you who commented about Thanksgiving, it was a huge success. My husband, son, and I loved the freedom of spending the day pursuing our interests and hobbies without having to cook, clean, and gird ourselves up for what can only be described as a high tension day with disappointing results.The restaurant we'd picked for our celebration

Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T00:01:00.000-08:00

In the United States, today is Thanksgiving. When I was a child it was my favorite holiday. I think the reason I loved it was because we always had dinner with my maternal grandparents--whom I adored. And, there was none of the commercialism of Christmas or Hanukkah. It wasn't about presents...just about love.Once my grandparents died, I still loved Thanksgiving. But, after my father died (20

Coping with a Seasonal Mood Swing

2009-11-16T00:01:00.000-08:00

The fact is that despite everything I do to overcome these seasonal mood swings, I'm not able to eliminate them--at least not now. That's not to say that I feel bad. I don't. I do have a low-grade depression, but the Adderall enables me to live with it.The problem is that I'm just don't feel as well at this time of year as I do during my best months --which currently are April through September.

Wellness Activities: Gardening, Libraries, and Books

2009-11-11T00:01:00.000-08:00

Sissinghurst Castle, KentTuesday nights are my botany class, and although I decided not to go last night (I like the people, but I don't like the way the class is being taught), I spent the evening reading gardening books, which is my new passion.Yesterday I went to a public library I rarely visit, but they had a book on hillside gardening that I wanted to check out. And, I had such a wonderful

When a Depression Speaks

2009-11-06T12:01:00.000-08:00

One of the best things a psychiatrist ever said to me during a depressive episode was when he told me to ignore my feelings because, "It's the depression speaking."And while it's difficult to do, it's terrific advice. For those of you who've experienced a severe depression, you know that everything changes when you're depressed, and it changes back again when you're not.Since it's already

Taking Baby Steps Towards Pursuing Your Dreams

2009-11-05T00:01:00.000-08:00

Susan wrote a heartfelt piece about feeling like she's lost her dreams. If I were her doctor, I'd say, "It's your depression talking. And, I know you'll feel differently when you're not depressed."The advice I gave to her--and some I didn't--is worth repeating here. I believe that dreams represent hope. In the same way I assumed I'd ultimately be well--even during my darkest days--I also assumed

Keeping Things in Perspective

2009-11-04T09:28:00.000-08:00

Sorry, this is a bit late. I was so tired after my midterm last night that I couldn't write one more word. And I slept in this morning. The bad news is that I can't imagine I did well on my botany midterm since I didn't finish it, and became hopelessly confused after days of studying.The good news is I decided I need to change my orientation--after so many years as a high achiever in school--and

My Depression Recovery Program

2009-10-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

It's Tuesday night as I write this, and I've just returned home from my Botany class at UCLA Extension. I think that one of the things I like most about this certificated program in Gardening and Horticulture is the people.Not only are they a diverse group in terms of backgrounds, countries of birth, age, and so much more...but for many, they are learning about gardening and horticulture in order

Giving Advice about Depression (Part 2)

2009-10-27T00:01:00.000-07:00

What's most difficult about giving advice for depression recovery--a subject about which I truly know a tremendous amount--is that I lack patience when people don't listen.I guess the problem is that during the periods when I have been severely depressed--and would have been thrilled to find anyone who could have helped me--I was unable to find people who were truly effective. And, in periods of

Giving Advice about Depression

2009-10-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

I was trying to tell someone I love about how to determine if she is clinically depressed. This person, whom I'll call Mary, said, "My therapist thinks I'm depressed, but I'm just not sure."I asked if she knew the symptoms of depression. She said she did, but she didn't feel they fit her situation. "I'm just not motivated," she said. "I can't force myself to do the things I need to. And I don't

Celebrating My Mother

2009-10-25T10:07:00.000-07:00

In Judaism, we light a Yarhzeit Candle to celebrate our loved ones who have died. Today is the third anniversary of my mother's death. I loved her dearly, and still do. I'd like to share four of her poems--some from my childhood. Only two are dated, but mama typed them in a 6" x 8" black leather book, titled in gold ink: In My Life by Marjorie Schwartz. I had the book made for her many years ago

Writing Alone and With Others

2009-10-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

Another book I genuinely like is Writing Alone and With Others by Pat Schneider. She writes, "The purest and deepest reservoir of material for the writer is his or her own childhood. Most beginning writers go instinctively to childhood images. This is not accidental, nor is it self-indulgent. It's a good instinct, an artistic wisdom. (This is my paragraph break, not hers.)"Louis Auchincloss said,

Writing to Learn (Again)

2009-10-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

I've decided to spend the rest of the week sharing a few more of my favorite books on writing. I think it was more than 15 years ago that I bought Writing to Learn by William Zinsser. What I love about this book is that I can always turn to it and get advice about any subject that interests me. And, although I've read it many times, I always learn something new.In his preface Zinsser writes: "I

Writing to Heal (Again)

2009-10-21T00:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I ended up having a very difficult day. So, rather than writing anything original, I'd like to share a quote from Sharon Bray's book, When Words Heal: Writing Through Cancer. (For the ease of reading my blog, I've divided Bray's first paragraph into two. And, I've eliminated her third paragraph, which focuses on cancer.)"In the decade since psychologist James W. Pennebaker first

Is Hastily Moving Ahead a Bipolar Symptom?

2009-10-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

Ever since the medication I took a number of years ago caused hypomanic symptoms, I have found that I rush into things rather than taking my time and thinking them through more carefully.So...when I decided I was interested in gardening, my first thought was, "I want to write a gardening book and need to find a partner who's a subject matter expert." My second was, "I want to begin writing

Wellness Activity: Sharing Other Blogger's Posts

2009-10-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I read posts that truly have an impact on me or I just enjoy them, and I've decided to share a few of them today.Marja wrote a post about a talk she gave to a suicide loss group, and tears came to my eyes. First, I was touched by her willingness to share her story with this group. Then, I was overcome by a comment of someone who'd attended the event. And finally, my eyes teared again

Inspirational Quotes

2009-10-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

I decided that today I would share (once again) some inspirational quotes. I wish you all a happy and healthy weekend, and I'll see you on Monday. My very best to KJ, Susan, and Emma. Like William James (below), I believe that hope, dreams, and aspirations can take you airborne!"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge,That myth is more potent than history.I believe that dreams are

Wellness Activity: Pet Therapy

2009-10-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

While I've written about this before, I must tell you that aside from gardening, one of the reasons I'm feeling so much better this year is due to my dog Jack. As many of you know, my mother died in October of 2007, my black Lab Murphy died in December, and my black terrier-chihuahua mix Spike died the following August.Because Spike had been incontinent the last few months (and because our

Refocusing To Achieve Wellness (Part 2)

2009-10-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

On Monday, I wrote that a severe depression last November and December was exacerbated by my inability to want to write, which is how I made my living for two decades. And I said that the only thing worse than being depressed, was being depressed and feeling that I was unable to pursue the career path I'd worked so hard to achieve.After coming out of that depression in January (It didn't end for

Wellness Activity: Helping Others and Ourselves

2009-10-13T00:01:00.000-07:00

Although I plan on continuing my series, Refocusing to Achieve Wellness, on Wednesday, today I need to write about what happened to me yesterday.My friend Betty, from my gardening class and I had a meeting at 10:15 with the groundsperson at the elementary school we're helping landscape. When I awakened at 8:00, I was still tired because I'd slept badly the night before. Also, it was relatively

Refocusing To Achieve Wellness (Part 1)

2009-10-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

Last November, I learned there are times when writing isn't healing for me. Although I have made my living as a writer for more than 20 years, I now realize that in the ebbs and flows of each year, there are periods when I don't feel like writing at all.For much of my life, I didn't feel this way. But, for the last few years, I've realized that when I am experiencing a low-grade depression, I do.

Staving Off a Depression (Part 3)

2009-10-05T00:01:00.000-07:00

For me, the final step in staving off a depression is to be aware of how I'm feeling, to be conscious of what triggers a depression, and to pay attention to what reduces the symptoms.Late Saturday afternoon, I met with my digital photography class to photograph Sunset Boulevard. We not only concentrated on photography, but we walked for more than a mile. I had a really fun evening. But what I

Vitamins Aren't Harmless

2009-10-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

I was going to finish my three-part series on Staving Off a Depression, but as I write this post (It's Thursday night) I'm still feeling ill. I don't want to blame Vitamin D3 if it isn't the culprit, but it may be. What I do know is that the only thing I did differently on Thursday was to take a 400 mg. capsule of Vitamin D3 because I read online about a guy who's taking it to prevent seasonal

Staving Off a Depression (Part 2)

2009-10-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

Another important component of staving off a depression is to stop thinking about feeling depressed. I used to think that I wasn't thinking about depression, when, in fact, I was. If I spent my days writing about depression (like I am right now), responding to comments about depression (like I've been doing), and reading about depression healing (which is still a facet of thinking about