I had much the same experience, Jenn. I didn’t grow up particularly religiously and really do believe that all faiths have places of beauty within them, but during those times when I have tried to be part of Christian church, I always felt like I wasn’t feeling what everyone else felt either. The only real moments of connection I had were in moments where there was music, but even then it was a connection to creation and not necessarily the God they were teaching about. The place where I always have intuitively sought refuge and connection, even as a young person, has been in nature. The first time I really felt that same connection in ritual (and church services ARE a form of ritual) was in attending a Beltaine ritual at a friend’s house. I think that was the beginning for me of trying to find my place within Paganism.

I was raised Roman Catholic, and left the Church when I was 15. I returned for a while when I was in college because I needed that feeling of belonging again. Earlier this year I spent some time with Momma Starr, a Christian root worker, and she helped me to realize that some Christians can get along just fine with pagans … and have some amazing conversations that accept that all gods are accepted, if not worshiped.

Maybe you are being called to be a Christian again, maybe not. I faced that decision a few months ago and decided that I was a pagan … but your choice may be different.

You are who you are, and being an amazing person is independent of religion.

Sadly it’s here to stay, because people perceiving themselves as in authority (or rather, confusing bureaucratic authority with religious authority) won’t put their energy into truly creating a spirituality of peers. Those of us that try fight the tide, and eventually often walk away.

Measure a person by words and actions and life lived. Yes, it’s harder than having a (made up) hierarchy tell you who to listen to, but it’s real.

Your point about ethics being a rare subject among pagans is spot on. I find it hardly surprising that this reluctance to commit to an ethical truth is one of the criticisms leveled at pagans most often by Christians. In fact I had a Christian tell me once, “Yours is the religion of anything goes, and I’m not into that.” I enjoy talking and pondering ethics and morality as I think they are a central element to my life as Druid. And I, of course, feel that *my* ethics are spot on! 😉 I try to approach ethical dilemmas with strength and compassion for those who disagree with me; not always an easy task. But I *always* learn something.

From my perspective pagans shy away from ethics precisely because they have been judged harshly by others in the past. I understand this. But it is a step to far (obviously) to then decide that all actions are equal in the spirit of non-judgement. Perhaps some more discussion on ethics would be stimulating to us, your loyal readers?

I’m starting to think that the work of finding the right place to experience that push-pull may be an important part of the religious process for folks.

(And hey, I still have a couple of Bibles too. And a Qur’an. And other stuff. High five.)

I think that spiritual people are being guided, even if they don’t recognize the voice of the spirits and believe in things like coincidence and chance. Perhaps when they feel the knowing, they believe they must have read about it in a book once. That’s how subtle the guidance is at first and only grows stronger and clearer with our acceptance and belief. I am now at the “there are no coincidences” phase, and know without a doubt that I am guided towards people, places and situations. My magical work is completed channeled. And my spiritual path has been a journey well planned, including all the stops along the way.

Bless you, sir.