BizarroBlog

Sketchbook-a-go-go

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 13:51:00 +0000

Bizarro is brought to you today by Irrefutable Evidence.

(To see more detail, click on each image to enlarge)

Instead of posting one of my published cartoons today, I thought it might be fun to post a few random pages of sketch book stuff. Perhaps I am wrong.

These images are drawn without any plan or goal, just taking a pen to paper and drawing whatever comes to mind. There is no pencil sketch first or reference to draw from, just whatever comes out of the end of the pen. These are all about 5"x7".

These are my favorite kinds of drawings to do, but unfortunately there's no money in it.

One might be inclined to say, "Dan, wouldn't it be cool to put all of these in a book?" to which I would say, "Yes, cool, but I'd be lucky to sell enough to fill the glove box of a Smart Car."

Wouldn't it be great if we could all make a living just doing whatever what we want? I vote for that option.

P.S. I should also mention that these drawings have nothing to do with drugs or alcohol. I can only do this sort of thing when straight and sober.

Halloween Redux

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:46:00 +0000

Bizarro is brought to you today by Belated Holidays.

Since I post my cartoons about a week after they appear, these cartoons from Halloween weekend seem conspicuously tardy. So just pretend you're reading them a week ago and you're putting the finishing touches on your Shrek costume in today's blog.

I love love love the Sleepy Hollow gag and wish I'd written it. But, alas, it came from my good friend Richard Cabeza (funniest spanglish name ever). He can be a real genius sometimes, and at this very moment his wife is expecting a baby or some reasonable facsimile. Thanks for the gag, Dick, and good luck to all involved with that baby business.

The Frankenstein gag is okay, I guess. I'm not crazy about it, but it's a good picture and has a monster theme. I've done some better Frankenstein gags in the past, which if I had any kind of reasonable filing system I'd be able to show you a few now. I hate myself sometimes.

In case you didn't know, Sleepy Hollow is a real town beside the Hudson River just north of New York City. Washington Irving wrote a lot about New York City and the surrounding areas, he popularized usage of the term "Knickerbocker" for New Yorkers and is also responsible for the myths about Manhattan being bought from the Indians for twenty-something dollars and a handful of trinkets, as well as the one about Christopher Columbus trying to prove the world was round. Both appeared in Washington's works of fiction but eventually were incorporated into elementary school history classes.

Scary.

WINNERS OF CONTEST #10!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:52:00 +0000

The winner of contest #10 is Chris Bulock, whose email did not appear in his/her entry. (So leave it in the comments section of this posting, Chris, and I won't publish it.)

Second place goes to Spyra.

Third place goes to Aftersox.

Debbie P, you were damn close, with the second entry in the comments section and all of your answers were correct but YOU ONLY HAD 14! I hate it when that happens. I should send you a consolation prize.

Thanks to all who played our idiotic little game, your trading cards will be zooming toward you soon, with my DNA all over them!

Correct answers this week:
1. “heAded” vs. “heEded”
2. eyeball on leader’s hat looking other way
3. real hand vs. hook hand
4. front child’s beard
5. troop vs. poop
6. second child wearing lady’s shoe
7. fifth child has banana on hat
8. snake around third child’s stick
9. second boy with arrow in butt
10. fourth boy with xxx jug
11. fourth boy with glasses
12. fifth boy with watch
13. sixth boy with lizard tongue
14. seventh boy with pipe
15. final boy’s bird beak

CONTEST #10!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:05:00 +0000

Click on the cartoon contest image below to enlarge and play!

RULES, ETC:
As usual, the upper image is the original cartoon, the warped image beneath it has been changed. Your mission, if you are a groovy dude, chick, both or undecided is to find those differences.

1. There are 15 differences between the two cartoons.
2. NONE of the differences have to do with the warped nature of the second image.
3. ALL of the differences are something missing, added, or moved, not just "bent" from the distortion. The differences will not be too subtle, so once you spot one you should be relatively certain you've found it. (As opposed to something like, "I think that guy has one extra whisker. Hmmm.")
4. FIRST PERSON to correctly list the 15 differences in the comments section of the contest post wins 5 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards, mailed by me personally from Bizarro International Headquarters in Brooklyn. I'll even lick the stamp, unless it's self adhesive. SECOND AND THIRD persons with correct answers will each get 2 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards!
5. Put your email address on your comment so I can contact you if you win. I won't post it or keep it or file it or sell it or mount a Broadway musical about it.

Enjoy, good luck, and always wear protective goggles! Click on the image to enlarge...

Cartoons and CONTEST!

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:30:00 +0000

Bizarro is brought to you today by Super-Fun-Pack Comics!

I'm still backlogged with cartoons not posted while I was in Florida with the insects, so here's another super-fun-pack, to borrow a phrase from the inimitable Ruben Bolling.

The origami cartoon is my favorite because it's dry, funny, and SUPER easy to draw. Makes my job so much easier when I come up with one of these. Because I am obsessed with details and background, however, it is rare.

Here is a fun take on the cartoon cliche of the guy in the bar telling a hotty that his wife doesn't understand him. If you think about it, it's a ridiculous premise no matter how you draw it. NO man's wife or mother understands him. It's a given!

Speaking of marital problems, here is a cartoon about them now. When I do cartoons like this, people who know me often assume that CHNW and I are having problems. Of course we are not, we are huge celebrities and do not suffer from the day-to-day maladies of the average joe and jolene.

I like this gag because I hate it when people talk on their cell phones while driving. (An ex-girlfriend of mine used to always say, "'hate' is a strong word" everytime I would say "hate." She didn't understand me.)

A reader wrote in to tell me that it is not "ironic" that he hit the guy he was talking to, but rather "coincidental." He's probably right, but like the vast majority if Americans, I have no idea what the word "ironic" actually means.

I sincerely hope you have enjoyed this short tour of last week's postings. I'll be putting up a contest tonight, this time at 7pm NYC time. Hope you'll dig it like a dog's bone.

Photo: Self portrait by CHNW

Florida Vacation Pics

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:06:00 +0000

Here, today, for what it's worth (probably very little) is my vacation blog. Whatever.

I took last week off and went to the Gulf coast of Florida with CHNW to hang out with her dad, a terrific guy and also a professional cartoonist. Getting out of town for a 365-day-a-year deadline person like me is very hard. I usually work 6 to 8 hours a day, seven days a week, so to get ahead by a week I have to double that. It's bad.

The first night in Florida I let loose and relaxed with way too much scotch. The pic above was taken at sunset, holding my camera as still and level as I could. It got worse as the evening wore on. I haven't been that drunk in over ten years, I'm happy to report.

The next morning, bleary-eyed and swollen-headed, we drove down to an old beach resort on Captiva Island. Along the way, CHNW discovered that if she held her mouth open in the wind, it would blow her cheeks out and vibrate them. We all laughed and I wished my headache would go away.

CHNW and her dad, Ralph, have been going to Captiva yearly since she was 5 years old. This was their 30th year. One of the things they always do is have dinner at an indescribably weird place called The Bubble Room. Out in the various parking areas, The Bubble Room leaves nothing to chance with plenty of parking signs. From top to bottom: "Any car parking on roadway will be ticketed and towed," "Bubble Room parking," "You must find legal parking," and "Additional parking across the street." If a person visiting The Bubble Room gets towed or ticketed, they should not be let out of the house without a guidance counselor.

Here is a nice shot of Ashley breaking out of the gorilla cage outside The Bubble Room. We feel confident that no one has ever taken a shot like this before.

Inside, one finds an insanely decorated world of hallucination and chaos. The diner is never left wanting for wacky and kooky things to look at. You can see how much fun I'm having in these candid shots.

One good thing to do at a beach resort is to visit the beach, which we did daily.

To answer a question that I get a lot, yes, I do swim with a cigar.

The dapper gentlemen shown here was screaming at me for "swimming topless again." After some clarification, we discovered he had mistaken me for his wife. He said it was the cigar.

In spite of the fact that I am a huge celebrity, I like to look for shells just like a normal person. When I do this, I call myself Captain Beachcomber. The cape is particularly effective if there is a stiff breeze.

Because we were there the week before Halloween, the resort was decorating for a party. We found the bottom of a mummy in the parking lot and used it for these quaint shots, which make us look extremely thin.

This next sequence shows my willingness to share with the dead. (click it to big it)

And what family vacation destination is complete without a naked, bald, beaten and dismembered woman?

Florida is known for its large bugs, which we discovered first hand when attacked outside our cabin by this spider.

We also happened across some Xmas decorations stored in a carport. Here are two Santas, one with significant saltwater decay and the other completely out of the closet.

Something we came across in town was this interesting graffiti technique of scratching your message into a leaf. These samples were all found on the same tree. Be sure to click the image for a larger view so you can read them. Locals told us that Ryan left town and is fine.

I have more pictures but they are even more boring than the ones featured here, so I'll end now. I hope you enjoyed my vacation blog as much as I enjoyed bringing it to you.

I will leave you with this picture of me and CHNW's dad, Ralph, as I attempt to prove to him that his daughter did not, in fact, marry an effeminate wimp. I think I nearly had him convinced until moments later, when I attempted to jump the marsh on my rented bicycle. This episode ended with me running from a startled egret, screaming like a little girl.

Scary Health Care Reform

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:33:00 +0000

(click on the image to enlarge)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Two Sides of the Aisle.

Because of the cartoon above, I got a lot of hate mail from readers who are against government-run health care and/or are regular viewers of Fox News. I thought I'd spend a couple of minutes today explaining my position on health care reform, not as any kind of expert, of course, just from my vantage point as one who cannot afford health care in America.

I make a decent amount of money, but I'm not rich. I'm also self employed, so no one provides any kind of insurance for me, I have to buy it. Health insurance costs vary from state to state, but here in NYC, the cheapest I can find for my wife and I, with a large deductible, is over $1000 a month. That's another mortgage payment each month, into the pockets of super wealthy insurance execs, in all likelihood for nothing. Statistics show that if I ever want to use that insurance there is an excellent chance they'll find a way to deny me. That's how they make their profits. My wife had serious brain and heart surgery when she was 20, so just about anything that happens to her now will be called a "pre-existing condition." You can bet on it.

So here I sit, a reasonably famous guy who makes a decent living, unable to afford to get sick. Sure, I can afford the occasional doctor's visit or prescription, and do, but if either my wife or I are ever in an accident or get a serious disease, we're out of luck. We can't afford insurance and we can't afford to pay for the care. So we die.

This is clearly an unfair system tilted heavily toward the corporations running it. This dilemma does not exist in any other wealthy nation. Government run health care does. And it works. It's not perfect, but anyone who has spent any time going through America's current health care system knows that it is far from perfect, too. Most people describe it as a nightmare.

Yes, it is popular in the U.S. to be fearful of the government, and throwing around scary words like "socialism" is a very effective way to herd people in the direction you want them to go. There has virtually never been a time in human history when this kind of tactic did not work. But all of the top nations in the world are a combination of socialism and capitalism, including ours. Medicare, Social Security, VA hospitals, welfare, public schools, road repair, anything you pay taxes for is a form of socialism. Some people imagine it would be better if none of those things existed and we all got to keep all our money and just "pay as we go" for these services, provided by private companies. But history shows that private industry is just as likely to screw up and cheat the consumer as any government. A combination of socialism and capitalism works best, which is why it is so prevalent worldwide.

A public, non-profit health plan provided by the government is socialism, yes, but no moreso than Medicare or Social Security (which have worked well for decades, despite Fox News' inaccurate reports of their impending bankruptcy), and will not interfere with your option to pay a private insurer through the nose and take your chances when you make a claim, if that is your choice.

If you're getting your information from Fox News, that is your right, but you are kidding yourself if you think it is anywhere close to "fair and balanced." Any number of independent agencies and studies have invariably clearly shown FN is guilty of habitual misinformation, routine and obvious inaccuracies, and a consistent support of the will and benefit of a handful of the world's most powerful corporations, who already have far too much influence in Washington.

Simply put, Fox News is not journalism, it is propaganda. And not because their opinion disagrees with mine, because much of what they say is demonstrably false, and always supports the narrow interests of a small handful of the uber-wealthy. Millions of Americans are being tricked into fighting for the very corporations that threaten our freedom and welfare. When every other large news agency in the world is saying something is bright and Fox News is the only one saying it is dark, especially when the ten wealthiest and most powerful people in the world are selling light bulbs, be very suspicious.

People opposing health care are afraid the government will control their lives. Right now, huge corporations control our lives by controlling our health care and virtually every other aspect of our lives. At least I can vote against a government. I have no recourse against CEOs.

Your opinions may vary, that's fine. I'm just hoping there will be a way to afford to go to a hospital before I actually need it.

Brady Apocalypse Pants

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:09:00 +0000

Bizarro is brought to you today by Towel Paradise.

Since I didn't post any cartoons last week while I was away, here are a few of my favorites from the missing week to catch up a bit.

The onion gag is funny to me, but I also like the dude's Brady Bunch hairdo. I don't normally draw men with this kind of coif, but I will be doing more of it in the future because of it's awesomeness.

The "End of the World" gag is a version of the man-carrying-end-of-the-world-sign cartoon cliche. Longtime readers (both of them) know that I enjoy putting a new spin on the classic cartoon motifs, and I thought this one was fun. Like all living humans under the age of 70, I am on Facebook, but I can't say that I get anything out of it. If I want to say something to someone, I send them an email (call me old fashioned) and because my name is known by more people than I know, I get so many messages on there that I don't have time to do anything other than click "accept" on friend requests and "ignore" on everything else. I don't join groups or causes, don't send "pokes" or "bites" or "transfusions" or whatever else they have on there, and I don't read invitations. Nothing personal, I just don't have the time.

The baggy pants joke is my favorite of these three. Anyone who knows me is well aware of my constant and decades-long stupefaction over the baggy pants fad. Anything about giant, baggy pants is and has always been funny. That's why clowns wear them.

I hope to have time to do my travelogue blog tomorrow. Tune in then, my frenz.

Return From the Swamp

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 16:20:00 +0000

(To view the image in colorful bigness, click on the farmer's hat and say "Skittles.")

Bizarro is brought to you today by Educational Candy.

I have returned alive and well from my week in the swamps of Florida and not a moment too soon. For those who haven't been watching the news this morning, Florida was hit last night by a flying volcano and sank into the Atlantic Ocean. Kind of sad. I'll be posting a travelogue of our trip in a few days, complete with pictures that we thought would be funny when we took them. But maybe it was just the pina coladas talking.

Meanwhile, here is a comic that got lots of emails from readers who really liked it. The concept came from my good friend, Cliff. He can be funny sometimes, although most of the time he just mumbles into an empty cardboard beer box. Kind of sad, really.

I'm weeks behind on email, so this blog is short. Happy to be back, hope you all had a dandy Halloween with surprisingly few casualties.

VACATE THE BUILDING

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 14:32:00 +0000

Sorry to say I'll not be posting blogs until November 1. It's my favorite (and least lucrative) task of the day but I'm taking a week off in an attempt to remember what it is like to relax.

Of course, my Bizarro deadlines don't take a week off, so I've had to work double hard in advance to clear my schedule. By the time my vacation starts, I'll be too tired to enjoy it. It's the American way!

Hope you'll drop back by next week when I'll have pictures and stories to tell of our ascent to the motel (pictured above) at the top of Mount Everest. Wish us luck!

Puns of Steel

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 14:08:00 +0000

(Why not click the image and make it bigger?)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Attack of the Condom People.

People occasionally submit cartoon ideas to me via email and puns are the most common sort I get. Puns are too easy so I'm not fond of using them in Bizarro unless they are particularly original or facilitate a funny picture. Still, there is often something a little unsatisfying about a pun and I don't want readers to feel cheated, so I recently decided to save them up and occasionally use the best ones in groups of three on Sundays.

In this installment, I think the two on the right are easily good enough to stand alone. The one in the middle was suggested to me as "Hell's Anglers" instead of "Angels," with some bikers fishing. I added the caption at the bottom. The one on the right was conceived and written in its entirety by my friend and occasional collaborator, Cliff Harris, who also came up with the Sunday Puzzler from a few weeks ago. Cliff is has a strange way with language. The "Martial Arts" gag came from a reader but I don't remember in what form. It's not a particularly original pun, but it warrants a funny picture.

If you have what you think is a great pun (unusual, funny, unexpected) and you'd like to see it in a future Sunday Punnies, send it to me: piraro@earthlink.net. It MUST be original (in that you thought of it yourself, didn't hear/see it somewhere else) and you must agree that if I draw it, you won't get compensation or credit (other than blog glory!) and I'll own the copyright. I'll send you some trading cards or an autographed print of the cartoon or something, though.

Until tomorrow, thanks for learning to read. It makes you so much more fun to write for.

We Are All Hitler

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:03:00 +0000

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Truth.

If there is one thing the children of America are learning it is that if you don't like something, compare it to Hitler. I wish I had known this when I was a kid. So many times I was told to go to my room and think about what I'd done (just like Hitler used to do to the Jews!) and even though I was angry and felt I was being treated unfairly, I did not know to compare my parents to Hitler. Live and learn.

The political discourse in our beloved U.S. of A. has become so ludicrous that it can barely be satirized. Still, I hope I've done a decent job here. The sort of things some Americans are teaching their children with the dreck they plaster on signs and march up and down the streets with is appalling, and we will all suffer the consequences of these drones when they grow up and inflict their warped sensibilities on society in more robust ways. Many will even have their own TV shows.

I think most Americans are still relatively sensible and don't equate Obama's efforts to help people other than the uber-rich with Hitler, but they don't get the media coverage. So it's the media's fault. The media are Hitler.

To be honest, I'm not sure who is Hitler, but I'm sure he's out there. Lurking, waiting to make his move. Get ready for mandatory mustaches, people.

NOTE: Good news at Bizarro Headquarters: I did not die yesterday afternoon. So there will be no theories about whether yesterday's post was a prophecy or a suicide note in disguise. I'm not planning to leave the house today, increasing my chances of living another 24 hours, so everyone can relax. If I get to feeling woozy or anything, I'll post an emergency paragraph or two before I call 911. Stay tuned.

WINNER of CONTEST #9!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 01:44:00 +0000

This week's contest was won at 10 minutes after the hour and all three of our winning contestants are new. (Last week I think the second or third place winner had won first place the week before.)

Congrats to Ilibbus for first place and Debbie and Maddy at second and third.

Here is a list of the correct answers:
1. Missing gun on white-hat cowboy
2. Added gun on black-hat cowboy
3. Bunny picture changed
4. Drink becomes camera
5. Shoe in picture reverses
6. Sideburn is missing
7. Cigarette is gone
8. Different neck tie
9. Eyeball on floor moves
10. Belt buckle changes
11. S in Saloon is reversed
12. Cowboy's eye is facing us
13. Dynamite becomes hot dog
14. Woman is cyclops
15. Woman has bird toes

One common mistake that people made was to cite the eyeball on the floor as two changes instead of one: eyeball on left, missing eyeball on right. The correct interpretation was just that it had moved, so it only counted as one difference. In case you're wondering, objects don't have to be interpreted correctly to qualify as a correct answer, as long as you spot them as a difference. For instance, one entry mentioned that the woman outside had carrots for toes, not realizing they were supposed to be bird toes. No biggy, still counts as correct.

Hope you'll join me again next week for more another contest and each day for unpredictable shenanigans and mayhem.

CONTEST #9

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:17:00 +0000

Click on the cartoon contest image below to enlarge.

RULES, ETC:
As usual, the top image is the original cartoon, the warped image beneath it has been changed. Your mission, if you are a groovy dude or chick, is to find those differences.

1. There are 15 differences between the two cartoons.
2. NONE of the differences have to do with the warped nature of the second image.
3. ALL of the differences are something missing, added, or moved, not just "bent" from the distortion. The differences will not be too subtle, so once you spot one you should be relatively certain you've found it. (As opposed to something like, "I think that guy has one extra whisker. Hmmm.")
4. FIRST PERSON to correctly list the 15 differences in the comments section of the contest post wins 5 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards, mailed by me personally from Bizarro International Headquarters in Brooklyn. I'll even lick the stamp, unless it's self adhesive. SECOND AND THIRD persons with correct answers will each get 2 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards!
5. Put your email address on your comment so I can contact you if you win. I won't post it or keep it or file it or sell it or mount a Broadway musical about it.

Enjoy and good luck! Click on the image to enlarge...

Deconstructing Death

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:46:00 +0000

Bizarro is brought to you today by this guy.

I've often thought I'd rather die than go to prison, especially for a very long time, and super especially if I was old and there was no real chance of getting out before I died.

But then, when actually faced with the moment of truth, I'm guessing I'd just go to prison and deal with it like most people do, rather than offing myself. Unless you've got a special set of chemical and emotional conditions in your head, suicide is pretty much the hardest thing in the world to do. Millions of years of evolution have designed us to think that staying alive is the single most important objective, next to reproducing. Intellectually, it is easy for me to talk myself out of both of those premises, recognizing them as biological features that have singular goals which I do not necessarily share.

Even though I reproduced a couple of times (long ago), I'm not one to think that it makes any difference whatsoever whether my bloodline or my name or my genes carry on. I don't care one way or the other, it's all a speck of dust in the universe. Nor do I honestly believe that it makes any difference if I live for another 45 years or die this afternoon. (Although if I do die this afternoon after having written this blog, it will give birth to volumes of conspiracy theories and false assumptions. I, for one, still believe Andy Kaufman's death was a hoax and he's going to make a grand comeback any day now.)

I can feel sorry for those who love me having to endure my loss, but it won't matter to me or to the world, in any meaningful way. (Nor will I even know I'm dead, much as I didn't know I hadn't been born yet 500 years ago) My readers will lament the loss of my cartoons for a short while, then move on. Whatever.

I'm not trying to solicit sympathy or be depressing, I'm not depressed at all, in fact. I'm just explaining my take on death. In an intellectual sense, it just doesn't bother me. That's not to say I want to die, of course, I don't. At least not while life is still relatively enjoyable. If Sarah Palin is ever elected president, however, that may change.

On a side note, I didn't do this on purpose but I think the lawyer in this cartoon looks a lot like Craig Crawford of Congressional Quarterly, a regular guest on the Keith Olbermann show.

Don't miss today's contest, posted at 4pm, NYC time. Ciao, baby.

CONTEST LATER TODAY!!!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:21:00 +0000

Today, at four (4) o'clock (of the clock) p.m. (prementsrual) NYC time (New York City time) this week's contest will be posted.

Tell your friends, tell your family, call your favorite news channel, wear it on your T-shirt. It's ON, suckers.

For previous contest rules, to which today's will be similar if not identical, click the bunny. (Bunny)

Not Nuts

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:57:00 +0000

My madre unt padre are in NYC visiting, leaving later today, so again I find myself short of time for a lengthy blog.

Their submarine leaves from the Brooklyn Navy Yard this afternoon, so I'll catch up later today or tomorrow. Promise.

You're so sweet for understanding.

Delicious Dog

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 13:49:00 +0000

Bizarro is brought to you today by TBA.

I'm on deadline today, but I've been out of town all weekend and haven't posted anything new, so here's a quick cartoon for you.

I'll post comments and funny ha ha big yucks and links later this afternoon or evening.

Ciao, baby.

Groovy Grass

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 12:31:00 +0000

(To make the image, like, all big and awesome, click the row of seats.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Extremely Slow Dogs.

After this cartoon ran in the papers, a few emails arrived at Bizarro Headquarters from confused readers. They understood the joke just fine, they were just confused in general. One person wasn't sure why they had married the person they did, another was confused about when to file his estimated tax payments. I answered their questions as well as I could and thanked them for writing.

Meanwhile, this cartoon is more easily understood if you look carefully at the picture. A man is putting soil and grass seed into a washing machine and a woman is stacking squares of sod on top of the dryers at a place called "Bermuda Lawndromat." "Bermuda," of course, is a popular species of grass.

I'm off to Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary for a weekend fundraiser. The weather looks dreadful, cold with a possibility of snow. Not what we were hoping for, but we'll manage. Hope you enjoy your weekend, wherever you are. As always, stay out of jail and keep your teeth in your mouth.

WINNER of CONTEST #8!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 04:22:00 +0000

This week's contest took around 10 minutes to solve.

Grand Prize: GIANT

2nd Prize: HA HA HA WHOOPS

3rd Prize: SHIRL

For a list of the differences, see the comments section of the previous contest post, wherein I posted GIANT's winning entry. Congrats to the winners and thanks to all who played!

One funny thing: I noticed while judging the entries that there were actually 16 differences, my mistake, so I awarded anyone who listed 15 correct differences. For obvious reasons, everyone stopped looking after they found 15. Doesn't change the contest any, just makes it 1/16 easier to win, I guess.

Next Thursday, another contest! WOW!!!

CONTEST #8

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 18:26:00 +0000

Click on the cartoon contest image below to enlarge.

RULES, ETC:
As usual, the top image is the original cartoon, the warped image beneath it has been changed. Your mission, if you are courageous enough to conquer it, is to find those differences.

1. There are 15 differences between the two cartoons.
2. NONE of the differences have to do with the warped nature of the second image.
3. ALL of the differences are something missing, added, or moved, not just "bent" from the distortion. The differences will not be too subtle, so once you spot one you should be relatively certain you've found it. (As opposed to something like, "I think the shadow of the coffee cup is a little darker. Hmmm.")
4. FIRST PERSON to correctly list the 15 differences in the comments section of the contest post wins 5 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards, mailed by me personally from Bizarro International Headquarters in Brooklyn. I'll even lick the stamp, unless it's self adhesive. SECOND AND THIRD persons with correct answers will each get 2 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards!
5. Put your email address on your comment so I can contact you if you win. I won't post it or keep it or file it or sell it or mount a Broadway musical about it.

Enjoy and good luck!

Pick up. Pick up.

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:42:00 +0000

Bizarro is brought to you today by Modern Phone Technology.

This cartoon was originally going to have a different caption: "What are you wearing?"

I still think that's a funny caption but once drawn up, it seemed really creepy to have a child saying this, my editor agreed and I changed it to this less pedophilic punch line. That's the nature of the business.

At the risk of sounding like an old timer, I cannot believe how far phone technology has come in my lifetime. Until I was a teenager, you had to dial a phone with that rotary thing, which was an arduous and deafeningly noisy task. There was no such thing as a cordless phone, so you had to stand wherever the phone was. The wires were not detachable, either, and you couldn't switch it off.

We thought the "future" had arrived when they invented extra long curly cords that went from your phone to your handset. But those looked like a bowl of dried spaghetti within a couple of months and you were back to standing next to the phone.

Voice mail and answering machines didn't exist, of course. An answering machine was anyone you could talk into answering the phone so you wouldn't have to get up. I was my parents' answering machine, as well as their TV remote.

On the subject of answering machines, have you noticed Hollywood is the only place that hasn't given them up for electronic voicemail? Movies and TV shows still regularly have old fashioned answering machines, so the audience (and characters in the room) can hear who's calling, thus advancing the drama. James Bond has a car that sees in infrared and shoots nanobots but he still uses an answering machine he bought at Target in 1974. "James, if you're there pick up! Pick up! Pick up!" Does he still have a block of ice hand delivered to his "icebox" every morning, too?

Don't forget to check back at 4pm NYC time today for the contest. See the post below.

CONTEST LATER TODAY!

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:39:00 +0000

The contest I'll post today at 4pm is more or less the same as the previous ones, see here.

The only change might be the number of differences, so check the rules as they are posted on the contest to make sure of how many you're looking for.

Hope you enjoy playing along as much as I enjoy asking you to.

Choices

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 16:57:00 +0000

Bizarro is brought to you today by Roofing Nails.

I have ambiguous feelings about this cartoon. When I wrote it, the idea of a roofer giving each nail the option of implanting itself into the wood (the easy way) before he pounds them in with a hammer (the hard way) was funny. Now, I'm not so sure.

On a more positive note, wouldn't you love to own a Bizarro Alien T-shirt like the snazzy gentledude in this cartoon? NOW YOU CAN!

Tomorrow at 4pm NYC time I'll post another cartoon contest. Hope you win!

Animation Goodness

noreply@blogger.com (Piraro) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 16:10:00 +0000

I love this song and animated video. Just wanted to share.
Found it on http://www.cartoonbrew.com/

Another amazing video animation, made by a recent student is this. Just wanted to share.
Fount it on a terrific blog called DRAWN! Tell them I sent you.