Sak’s Fifth Avenue

What do you all think? Is this worth the splurge of $518.19 at Sak’s to get that retro feel that you could find at in a photo album? I don’t know. It just might well be because it is 100% silk, has a side zipper and of course is designer made. It’s your call though!

And if you’re a fan of the purple flower print you’ll also like the Richard Chai Silk Cowlneck Top in the same pattern for $358.11. Both are on sale right now.

Ashley Shute spends eight hours a day working as a blue jean and t-shirt wearing community organizer in San Antonio. The other 16 hours are dedicated to dreaming about and shopping for the latest luxury fashions. Her style icon is Jacqueline Kennedy; classic, clean, and always professional. You will never find a fake bag in her closet and she wants a collection of Manolo Blahnik shoes before she turns 30.

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Richard Chai Silk Cowlneck Dress

For the last 3 ½ days I have been involved in a MAJOR organizing project which was unexpected. My daughter decided to go through every box in her storage shed as she wanted to clear clutter so she could walk into the room and make it more functional. As it was she could get the door open and just toss things inside.

After she had taken out all 624 boxes (it was probably less but it felt like that many) I saw her walking around looking in this box and then another. I suggested that to get rid of clutter in the boxes she needed to find out what was in all of them so she could move items from one box to another so all like things would be together. If I had said and done nothing else that was a huge tip that she said more than once was VERY helpful in her getting rid of clutter. It also saved her a lot of time.

Even though it wasn’t my space it feels so good to know she can now find anything she wants when she wants it.

Do you have any major organizing projects coming up at your home?

Marilyn Bohn is an energetic, lively, compassionate, hard working and creative organizer. She was born to organize! Before becoming a professional organizer she worked professionally in diverse environments. She is involved in her community, providing her clients with a broad base of experience and knowledge.  She is a member of the National Association of Professional Organizers (NAPO).

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See What You Have When Getting Rid Of Clutter

Do you want to increase your relationship possibilities but does Internet dating make you nervous?

Five Things You Need To Know About Internet Dating:

1. It’s no better or worse than any other kind of dating.  How discriminating you are determines how successful your experience will be.
   • There is no substitute for discrimination.  Do you know when someone has good character and will you stay away from someone who has bad character?

1. Be honest – represent yourself as you truly are (not what you looked like 10 years ago!)
   • A client told me she was having bad experiences on-line dating. She told me the telephone conversations were great, but the meetings weren’t.  I asked to see a copy of her on-line profile and I knew why she was having a problem.  The girl in the picture didn’t look like the one sitting in front of me.
   • When you portray yourself to be something other than what you are, that is a form of betrayal.

1. Meet for coffee first – you do not want to have to bolt your dessert.
   • Aren’t your tired of not having desert?  Have a glass of wine.  It’s a short interaction that doesn’t take too much time in a place you can easily leave from. 

1. Ask questions – Do not be afraid to ask what makes you feel comfortable.
   • Someone who is interested in getting to know you for real will be willing to tell you anything that will make you feel more comfortable.  Someone who has nothing to hide has nothing to hide.

1. Trust your instincts.  Don’t ignore your feelings; oftentimes we get the best information that way.
   • Instincts bypass the intellect – thank God.  We sure don’t want the mind interfering. Instincts are clean; they are our inner voice and we need to listen to them. 

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are

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How to Internet Date

by Tai Goodwin on July 1, 2009

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Reclaim Your Brilliance

Does the opposite sex confuse you?   Do you know that men and women are different and can you how acknowledge the sacred differences that create great relationships?

1. Men and women are different, yet equal.

·        Often when there is talk about the differences between men and women, women libbers get all up in arms.  I feel I can readily talk about these differences since I was an original women’s lib gal, long before it was fashionable. 

·        Men and women are different and I am glad they are.  It is the differences that create the polarity and it is the polarity that creates the chemistry.

1. Men are hardwired genetically to be hunters, women are not.
   • I have a male friend named Paul that one day shared his version of the male/female phenomena.  He said, “Long ago, men went out and hunted and women stayed home.  One day the man said, “I usually bring home one buffalo, but today I am going to bring home two”.  And when he got home, the woman was so overjoyed that he bought two buffalo that she cooked him his favorite meal, had great sex with him, and watched over him while he took a nap. The next day, he brought home three buffalo!  Need I say more…..

1. A man loves a woman when he feels he has captured the prize.  For this reason, a woman should never chase a man.
   • As a woman, it is important, not to manipulate a relationship and let the man come after her. This is not a game but in accordance with his nature.   A man needs to feel he has captured the prize, the prize that all the other men would want if they could have it.  When a man feels this way, he loves with all his heart.

1. A woman feels loved and cherished when she knows she is the prize, his prize.
   • In order to feel cherished, a woman needs to not try and control the process.  If she asks for a commitment or in any way tries to tie up the relationship, she drastically switches the masculine/feminine polarity and begins to feel “needy”.  Neediness makes her feel unattractive, not only t her partner but more importantly to herself.

1. The things that make a man feel good are different than the things that make a woman feel good.
   • Enjoy the differences.  The differences create the texture in a relationship.  See through the differences to the “heart’ of the relationship.

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are

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The Difference Between Men and Women

As many mom entrepreneurs might agree, the balancing act can be a tricky one. I do feel however that there are certain strategies and resources you can put in place to make it a bit easier on yourself.

Here is my Top 10 list (in no particular order), which I shared with the group:

1. Passion - don’t start a business unless you are passionate about it. It is not worth the hassle and heartache to become an entrepreneur, work at something you do not enjoy and then try to balance family on top of that.
2. Plan - have a plan before starting your business. Otherwise, both time and money will be wasted. As mom entrepreneurs, we don’t have a lot of time, and in this economy who has money? If you have time to write a full business plan great. However, this is unrealistic for most. According to Mike Michalowizc, the three-sheet strategy is just as effective. This strategy consists of a prosperity plan (the vision for your business), quarterly plan (the path of your business) and the daily metrics (health measurement of your business). You can learn all about this effective strategy by listening to the The 3 Sheet Strategy To Dramatic Business Growth (Especially in A Down Economy) Podcast.
3. Cash Flow - you have to constantly be aware of what your cash is and is not doing for you. By keeping track of your payables and receivables and reviewing daily, you can make educated and informed decisions about the health of your business. To download a sample template, click here…>
4. Business Consultant - I highly recommend hiring a consultant who is knowledgeable about business growth. I made some critical mistakes in my business and finally realized what I did wrong once I hired a business consultant. Unfortunately, I hired her after the mistakes were made. I was very fortunate that my business did not fold all together. Hiring a consultant is a necessary business expense and one that you will see a huge return on investment (ROI) for. I work with Gail Zona of Next Step Business and recommend her services.
5. Get Connected Socially - it is critical to be connected socially. With the rate of people connecting online increasing exponentially, you are seriously hurting your business if you are not one of them. Networking online is not difficult or scary, but there is a process and a certain etiquette that must be followed in order to build online communities, relationships and ultimately transact business properly. You can learn how to do it the right way by listening to the How To Build Influence and Increase Your Profits Using Social Media Podcast with Scott Bradley of Networking Effectively.
6. Professional Support - in addition to hiring a business consultant, you should also have other professionals on your team. This includes a lawyer, accountant, HR professional and investment advisor. When I submitted my business plan to the bank, this was required information. Ask for referrals from friends and colleagues, and conduct interviews to locate the professionals that believe in your business vision. I also recommend connecting with hundreds of savvy mom entrepreneurs for networking and support through our Online Support Group.
7. Personal Support - as a mom entrepreneur, the personal support is just as important as the professional support. This may include a daycare provider, nanny, housekeeper, friend, family, etc. You cannot do it all yourself, but with help, you can manage. If you do not have friends or family nearby that can help out, then I recommend a service like Care4Hire, which can connect you with qualified help in your area.
8. Keep Up With Trends - The Mom Entrepreneur has been successful in its business growth goals because the industry trends indicate huge opportunity in the mom entrepreneur market especially in the U.S., Canada and U.K. You must always be aware if the need for your products and/or services is growing or declining with your target market(s). Not having this information at your finger tips can be detrimental to the success of your business. Some simple indicators you can tap into include Google Alerts and Google Trends.
9. Stay True to Yourself - remember that your health and well being is just as important as the health and well being of your family and business. If you do not take care of yourself, then how do you expect to grow a happy and successful family and business.
10. Keep the Faith - do not give up on your entrepreneurial pursuits or get discouraged. Growing a business and balancing a family is supposed to be tough. If it was not tough, we would not be challenged and easily become bored. Remember everything happens for a reason. Sometimes you have to search long and hard to find the reason or you may never understand why it happened. Just keep your head up and continue moving forward!

Do you have additional tips or techniques for managing the mom entrepreneur balancing act? Please share!

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Top 10 List of ‘Must Haves’ for Moms in Business

Stockbrokers

Commission based advice is great—if you’re a broker or brokerage firm. For the investor, however, it’s not always the right solution. This type of advice is plagued with high costs and opaque disclosure—high costs that chip away at your profits. The registered representative (stockbroker) - unlike a registered investment adviser - has no fiduciary duty to place the client’s interests first. Inadequate disclosure coupled with conflicts of interest guarantees that a fair number of people are going to be victimized by bad advice.

Because broker-dealers are not necessarily acting in your best interest, the SEC requires them to add the following disclosure to your client agreement. Read this disclosure, and decide if this is the type of relationship you want to dictate
your financial security:

“Your account is a brokerage account and not an advisory account. Our interests may not always be the same as yours. Please ask us questions to make sure you understand your rights and our obligations to you, including the extent of our obligations to disclose conflicts of interest and to act in your best interest. We are paid both by you and, sometimes, by people who compensate us based on what you buy. Therefore, our profits, and our salespersons’ compensation, may vary by product and over time.”

If this disclaimer appears in agreements you are signing, you should ask questions of your advisor. Obtain complete disclosure about how he or she is compensated, and where his or her loyalties lie. Then decide if the relationship is in your best interest, running for the exits might be a good option here.

Fee-Based Advisors

“Fee based” advisors (also referred to as fee-offset) can be just as bad, if not worse. Commission based compensation includes “fee-based” compensation which is a particularly evil label referring to both fees and commissions. Fee based advisors have the ability to charge a percentage “based” on the assets they manage, but they also have the ability to sell you a commission based product (like an annuity, a load fund or life insurance). “Double dipping”, as it’s known in the industry, while not illegal is certainly immoral. The broker makes money from both the client and the commission. What a guy! Don’t be fooled. Stay away from advisors peddling investments that charge you front end or back end loads or surrender charges.

Fee-Only Advisors

Fee-only compensation (not to be confused with fee-based) is non commission driven and eliminates the exploitation of investors, where quality objective financial advice is the only product, and the advisor sits on the same side of the table with the client. The only way the advisor can make more money on your relationship, is to make more money for you. Federal and state law requires that Registered Investment Advisors are held to a Fiduciary Standard. This law requires that an advisor act solely in the best interest of the client, even if that interest is in conflict with the advisor’s financial interest. This includes finding the best investment alternatives with the lowest internal expenses, and one of the best ways of enhancing returns is to control portfolio costs. Investment Advisors must disclose any conflict, or potential conflict, to the client prior to and throughout a business engagement. Investment Advisors must adopt a Code of Ethics and fully disclose how they are compensated.

High net worth, high income households are often easy targets for bad advice. When hiring an advisor, a considerable amount of thought and research should be dedicated to the process. After all, it’s only your money. Here are some things you should ask when engaging a financial professional:

• How are you paid?
• Are your recommendations in any way influenced by compensation?
• What is your investment philosophy?
• Do you provide an Investment Policy Statement?(Don’t know what that is—find out!)
• How much authority will you exert over my accounts?
• Do you have a clean regulatory record?
• What are your credentials?
• What is your educational background?
• How much experience do you have?
• What are your continuing education requirements?

Finally, you should also request and review the advisor’s written disclosure statement, ADV part I and II.

Other Considerations

Unlike other professions like accounting or law, the financial industry does not have one standard designation or brand (think CPA and Esquire or J.D.) Instead we have a wide array to choose from. Most financial professionals would agree that the CFP® designation offers the most robust, well rounded financial education available to financial practitioners and it carries the most clout. It encompasses multiple areas of study which include taxation, retirement planning, insurance planning, estate planning, investment planning and case studies. Yet, this does not imply that every CFP® has the same investment philosophy or standard of care in dealing with clients. In fact, CFP® designation is held by advisors operating in two very distinct worlds: 1) the traditional brokerage firms/Trust companies that may charge commissions or peddle proprietary funds and 2) the more consumer friendly independent fee-only (or fee-based) side of the industry.

In summary, a consumer should demand that their advisor sign on as a fiduciary in writing. Stock brokers and Registered Representatives (RR) cannot do this. Conversely, an independent Registered Investment Advisor (RIA) is always a fiduciary, and should have no problem signing a fiduciary oath for his client. But, remember that where an RIA is also an RR, the investor must clearly understand that most likely that advisor is not operating as a fiduciary. Remember that credentials do not always translate into your success.

Bottom line do your homework before you hire!

Cathy Pareto, MBA, CFP®, AIF® is the Founder and President of Cathy Pareto & Associates, Inc. For over twelve years, Cathy has been helping financial consumers and professionals understand the world of investments and finance with a sound, but down to earth money management approach. For over a decade Cathy was a Senior Financial Advisor for another Miami based investment advisory firm, where she managed over $200 million in assets for high net worth clients and retirement plans. She has extensive experience in retirement issues, asset allocation, investment selection, investment management, education planning, estate planning coordination, and asset protection strategies. Additionally, she was an Adjunct Professor and Faculty Coordinator for the CFP® Program at Florida International University’s College of Business.

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What’s the Difference: Stockbrokers, Fee-Only Advisors, Fee Based Advisors?

If you want your man to love you forever, and fall truly in love with you, then read on…

There are just three things you have to do to have your man’s head spinning in love:

Let Him Know You Understand Him

You might think you know your man in and out, but on the other hand, your man might feel like you just don’t understand him at all. Try listening to him, even if he’s baby talking and babbling! Men hardly ever talk about their feelings, so when he tries telling you something in his own bumbling manner, try listening and make an effort to understand him.

Let Him Fall in Love with Your Feminine Face

A man feels like one when he’s with a woman who behaves like a woman. Captivate him with your grace and your beauty. He fell in love with you for the way you charmed him. Allure him with your femininity and he will be captivated by your elegance forever.

Make Him Feel Like a Man

A man wants to feel like one, and he feels like the best one when you tell him so. Compliment him when he does something that you couldn’t, or tell him something that makes him feel important and worthy of your attention, and watch him fall ahead over heels in love with you.

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3 Things Men Need to Fall Madly and Deeply in Love

No one is born with a fear of or attitude towards money. Fears and attitudes–be they good, bad, or ugly–develop over time. No doubt, your upbringing is a major contributing factor. Past experiences–successes and failures–also play a critical role. Then there’s society–whether it comes through the media, common practices, your friends, family, or even the government.

In spite of a myriad of influences, however, let’s face it: you are the steward of your money–you are in charge of its destiny. So what are your fears? Being poor? Making mistakes? In my book, 10 Smart Money Moves for Women, I identify 10 financial fears, 5 of which I describe below. See where you fit in and read my next article which covers the other 5 fears.

The Fear of Being Poor
In 1985, one of USA Today’s headlines read, “Bag Lady Fears Drive Women to Stash Cash.” Not a lot has changed for many women since I clipped that gem for my “nudge” file. The #1 fear that women shared over the past year in my “$mart Money” workshops is becoming destitute when they are older.

Is being poor really a concern for today’s woman? You bet. Government statistics show that for every 100 women and men who reach 65, only two are financially independent.

How do the rest survive? By relying on relatives, the government, friends, or working until they die. What an unfortunate and seemingly unnecessary prospect for a modern society in the midst of a booming economy.

Women live longer than men. A fact that means that women are more likely to spend far more years just barely getting by than men if they don’t step into the money maze and learn how to navigate on their own. Forget about being rescued by a white knight. It’s nothing more than a media-driven myth.

The reality is that whether you are rich, poor, or in-between, the person that you are going to have to rely on the most to keep you from the poorhouse is you–your creativity, imagination, intuition, and smarts.

The Fear of Losing Money
At some point, everyone loses money–from a bad investment, inflation erosion, or a failure to act or make a decision.

Losing money is scary for anyone, but women are more fearful of losing money than men. Why? First, men typically earn more money than women do and therefore feel as if they have more to invest. Moreover, if men lose money in a bad investment, their reaction–that it can be replaced–differs from many women who may exaggerate the loss’ significance in their overall financial situation. Women are also less likely to take the more aggressive and riskier financial positions that men do. Risk-taking, in part, has to do with a man’s familiarity with money. Men, in contrast to women, are generally exposed to the subject of money early on and by the time they reach adulthood, the topic is no longer unfamiliar or intimidating.

Working with and investing money does not have to be a giant leap into the unknown. In fact, it’s wiser to start with small steps. Whether it’s putting money in a mutual fund (many funds allow you to start with as little as $100 if you commit to contributing a minimal amount on a monthly basis) or a fund for your children’s education, small amounts can build into fortunes.

The Fear of Looking Stupid
No one wants to appear or feel foolish. Yet, when it comes to money strategies and decisions, many women fear that the wrong move or outcome will serve to broadcast that they blew it and don’t know what they’re doing. Of course that doesn’t happen, but the fear can be inhibiting.

The good news about money mistakes is that they can be valuable learning opportunities after the crisis has passed. Once you become more confident in your decisions and accept that you will stumble once in a while, you will be able to assess your financial situation quickly and rationally and focus on finding solutions rather than dwelling on the mistakes.

The Fear of Talking About Money
Your upbringing will most likely play the largest role in shaping your money practices. It’s a broad generalization, but it’s also true: most women grew up in homes in which money discussions were avoided or restricted to parents only. Money may have been mentioned but rarely discussed in a positive and productive manner. As a result, women never received the necessary training and guidance about money and investing. And the practice that started within the family is then perpetuated by the woman herself: “If I don’t talk about money or acknowledge it, it won’t be a problem in my life.”

By talking about money and sharing your experiences and outcomes with other women and men, you will discover how much there is to learn and how much you have to contribute to the conversation.

The Fear of Making Mistakes and Failing
I wish I had $10 for every mistake I’ve made over the past 50 years. Although most women believe they’ve had their fair share in the mistake and failure departments, it doesn’t erase the stigma that mistakes and failures can bring.

The unsurprising truth is that mistakes happen. What you do about them is up to you: will they cripple and paralyze you? Or will you look on them as facts of life that provide learning and growth opportunities? Making money mistakes and experiencing failures won’t destroy you, but allowing yourself to get stuck mentally could cause more lasting damage. The key is to determine:

• What happened?
• What factors could you control, influence, or alter?
• What factors were out of your control?
• What did you learn from the experience, both bad and good?

For most of us, financial fears are both powerful and deep-seated. By recognizing your own fears and how they operate on you, you can begin to cut them down to size and use their force for something much more worthwhile–taking charge of your financial well-being.

Click here to read part two of Face Your Financial Fears!

Judith Briles, Ph.D. is a speaker, columnist, and award-winning author of 20 books including 10 Smart Money Moves for Women and Smart Money Moves for Kids. She can be reached at 303-627-9179 and e-mailed at DrJBriles@aol.com. Her Web site is www.briles.com.

Tiffany Bass Bukow is the CEO & Founder of the #1 Personal Finance Website for Women and Families - www.msmoney.com. My life mission is to help people and the world thrive through creating companies that provide money, career and life skills education.

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Face Your Financial Fears!

In the early 90s, I was in the first category - a college grad facing a job market where it seemed like a Liberal Arts B.A. was no better than a high school diploma for getting a good paying job. But I had a clear career goal - being a labor or maritime lawyer. I took several valid interest inventories like The Career Key, worked as a clerk in a law office during college, did informational interviews with other lawyers - to learn more about it and to be sure it was right for me. And it was - for 10+ years - I still work at a legal clinic.

I came across a great “pros and cons” discussion that you should read if you are thinking of going to graduate school. “What is a Masters Degree Worth” is a June 30 NYT blog panel discussion, with more links to other resources like MSN Money columnist Liz Pulliam Weston’s column “Is your degree worth $1 million - or worthless?”

The big mistakes that people make with grad school is that they enroll because (1) they think they have no other options and don’t know what else there is to do, and/or (2) they don’t have a clear, well thought out and researched career goal in mind.

Here is an example of such a mistake: say you decide you want to work in Washington D.C. as a policy researcher for a think tank by getting a masters or Ph.D. in political science - without doing a lot of research about how much you would be paid, how long it would take to pay back your loans, and where you (seriously) would have a good chance of getting a job. And without talking with several people in the job of your dreams to get the real story about it.

You avoid these mistakes by choosing a career that matches your personality using a science-based process for making a decision. It takes a little work, but it is straightforward and intuitive. My choice to go to law school wasn’t perfect, and it wasn’t like I didn’t doubt it in tough times. But I knew I’d done a lot of soul searching and research to make the decision - that ultimately proved to be the right choice and one without regrets. I hope you’ll do the same.

This blog post was graciously submitted to BizzyWomen by The Career Key Blog, run by Juliet Wehr Jones, J.D.  The Career Key™ gives you expert help with your career search and career choices  career change, career planning, job skills, and choosing a college major. Our career assessment helps you find a career by matching your personality with careers and providing you complete and accurate information about each career you choose to explore.

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Should you go to graduate school?

Zuma Press

Friends, a word of advice, unless you are going on a family outting where you are taking lots of pictures, you are under the age of 8 or over the age of 59, the Patriotic tee needs to be retired like the tacky sweater. Maybe I should throw a theme party, “the Patriotic T-Shirt Party.” It could catch on like the “Tacky Sweater” parties of the holiday season.

So, if you are between the ages of 9 and 58 it is highly recommended that you choose something other then the graphic tee, the face painted shirt or the actual flag as a piece of clothing this upcoming weekend to celebrate your freedom.

Why not go with something more subtle? A white sundress? A bright and shiny red bag? Or a fun blue top? These are all great options and options that are at your fingertips! And of course, if these aren’t giving you that fashion fix you’re looking for stopping by your neighborhood Norddstrom, Macy’s, Neiman Marcus, or even Target isn’t a bad idea…just please..do not wear that $5 flag shirt from Old Navy..again this year!

Nanette Lepore lispstick embroidered silk ‘Creole’ top

bluefly.com

Alice & Olivia sky blue jeweled detail tutu dress

bluefly.com

Narcisco Rodrigue White Cut-Out Dress

theoutnet

Bottega Veneta Oversized Intrecciato Tote

theoutnet

Kors By Michael Kors Allie Espardille Wedges

theoutnet

Ashley Shute spends eight hours a day working as a blue jean and t-shirt wearing community organizer in San Antonio. The other 16 hours are dedicated to dreaming about and shopping for the latest luxury fashions. Her style icon is Jacqueline Kennedy; classic, clean, and always professional. You will never find a fake bag in her closet and she wants a collection of Manolo Blahnik shoes before she turns 30.

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Being Patriotic Without Wearing a Flag

Two things need to happen simultaneously:  A therapist needs to work from the inside out and outside in.  From the “inside out” means that it is important to understand “why” we do certain things and to have insights and ephanies.  From the “outside in” means that we need to take those insights and ephanies and bring them into action in the world.  What is the good of insights if we can’t make them work for us?  We might as well be sitting on the couch smoking weed and having an insight! 

In Behavioral Therapy, behavior is changed whether or not the client understands the underpinnings of that behavior.  In Psychotherapy, clients talk, have insights, but are never required to make those insights into real life, into reality. 

Therapists who know what they are doing require both insight and action., i.e., both psychotherapy and behavioral therapy.  A good therapist leads a client to insights and inspirations but holds them accountable for bringing those realizations into action in the real world.  A sharp therapist understands that only by manifesting these changes on the physical plane can a client begin to change the hard-wiring, and thus finally move in a new direction.

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are

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What Needs To Happen In Therapy?

I had dinner with Lindsay & Debra Adams form Australia and Phil & Michelle Bedford from Dubai where I learned about some of the local customs and laws as well as the weather and best times to visit their countries. Both were more than willing to make connections, give feedback and share contacts should I need them.

In Florida, and the NACM National Conference I met a team from the UK who are looking to expand their business into the US. We had a wonderful discussion about the differences between business in the U.S. and business in the U.K. and how we might be able to help one another. Later I met Danielle Austin, a national expert on Export Letters of Credit for companies who are sending their goods overseas. We had a great dinner together since we were both there alone as presenters and learned how much Danielle loves what she does and how good she is at it.

In Canada, I met John Sawyer, President of the Oakville Chamber of Commerce, and the Mayor of Oakville. Paula Hope a trainer and speaker put on a fantastic event that I was able to present at, she and her team went above and beyond the call of duty. While there I met Christel Wintelsl, BNI Director and National Franchise Owner for Canada again. I was able to spend time and build a great relationship with Christel and Paula which adds great value to my network.

So, why do I tell you all this and why do you care? Simple, networking is a 24 hour a day activity, anywhere you go. I could have chosen to hide out and work in my room at each of these events but I chose to network, to meet new people, to find ways to connect and build the relationships.

Networking is not just about going to events and meetings, it is about connecting with people exactly where they are and asking “How can I help you.” Good Networking is about listening to what others are saying, and not being the authority in the room. Good networking is about leaving your ego at the door and be willing to be present in the moment with the people around you. Good networking is a wonderful way to build not only your business, but your life.

Hazel M Walker, owns three award winning franchise’s. She is a 10 year owner of two BNI Franchises where she teaches members how to leverage their time and network to build each others businesses. She is also a Referral Institute franchise owner and teaches Business Owners how to harness the Science of Referrals to develop Referrals for Life. Hazel is a published author in New York Times best sellers Masters of Networking and Masters of Sales. As a member of the National Speakers Association she travels the world speaking to businesses and women’s organizations on the topics of networking to create a life you love.

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The World Becomes Small Networking on the Road

A few years ago, I separated from my husband of close to 10 years. It’s not something that just happened over night but was a build up of 18 months of continuous arguing and just going nowhere. After months of anger and hatred I had an eye opening thought that I wanted my husband back. Most likely you’ve found this site because you too are ready to save your marriage. I want to share some of the hills I had to overcome and where you can find some great information to assist you during the reconciliation.

If you are ready to save your marriage then there is a few things you need to know. If you and your spouse are separated and still not sure whether it is divorce or reconciliation in your future, then the information I am going to explain is just for you.  Either one or both of you have tried dating other people but you realize that no one can compare to your ex and you are now ready to save your marriage. You have decided that you will get back with your ex, no matter what it takes, and give the relationship one last shot. But now you want some help to save your marriage and could use some moral support from your friends as well.

Be prepared that while you were going through the separation, you may have said some things you wish you could take back. Most likely you confided in your friends during that time. I know during my separation, I had several friends that listened and supported me while others must have been living out their own marital aggressions through me. Before you start the reconciliation process, you need to come clean with your friends and tell them you are ready to save your marriage. Let them know how much you appreciated their support (even the ones that were ready to run your spouse over for you), but that there is only one person for you and that their continued support is needed.

It’s only right that they understand the anger you were feeling and do whatever it takes to help you get back with your spouse. Yeah, right! They will throw a fit and ask think that you have completely lost your mind! But they are your friends and if they are good ones, they will come through in the end. I can attest to that. The friends that stood by me are still in my life years later, and our friendship is even stronger, while the ones that added fuel to the fire really aren’t in my life any longer. It truly is better that way.

Now I need you to ask yourself one serious question; “Why are you now ready to save your marriage”. Do you still love your soon to be ex or is it that you just don’t not want to be alone?  Maybe the dating scene hasn’t been going too well. It’s important that you realize the why the separation occurred in the first place. Was it during a heated argument or maybe you simply could not tolerate a nasty habit? Bad habits don’t just vanish when you break up. We don’t want a repeat of the same situation. If you are seriously ready to save your marriage then you need to remember the reason you fell in love with your spouse and the real reason the separation happened in the first place. You also need to be prepared to forgive anything that has occurred not only during the marriage but also during the separation. That is truly the only way you can move forward. If you get in a small argument when you are back together, you cannot say, “well remember when you…”.

If you’ve talked to your spouse and have now decided that you are both ready to save your marriage then it’s important to discuss the issues, talk about the things that bother each of you and get everything out in the open so you can move forward. Really nothing has changed. You are both the same person and the problems have not disappeared.  Don’t rush in. Take it slow. Talk about things before they escalate into a situation that is out of control. If you’re reading this then it’s time to take the step and really get started and save your marriage. I am so happy that I was able to work through my problems and will be happily celebrating my 14 year anniversary this year. Not to mention, we also had another child since then and are closer now then ever. Here is some useful tips when you are ready to save your marriage.

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Are You Ready to Save Your Marriage?

There is evidence that couples’ financial problems are linked to increased levels of stress, conflict, and marital duress, as well as decreased levels of marital satisfaction (Sanchez and Gager, 2000), which clarifies the reason why financial problems are frequently cited as a major reason for divorce. Ironically, the financial problems that result from divorce may be even more severe. While it may be hard for people involved in an emotionally draining divorce to clearly think about their money, it is imperative they do. One of the most pressing concerns of newly divorced people is determining who is responsible for the repayment of debt.

According to Consumer Credit Counseling Services of the East Bay, a division of Money Management International (MMI), the first financial action after separation is to pull a copy of your credit report. You will want to review entries carefully and either close joint accounts or change them to individual accounts. Alert your secured lenders of your marital status and instruct them not to allow any changes without your permission. You may also want to “freeze” joint bank accounts or divide any funds into two individual bank accounts.

As preparation for the divorce, you and your spouse need to reach an asset settlement to be presented in court. This settlement agreement outlines how your debts and assets will be divided; it also includes plans for spousal and child support.

“To avoid future problems, it makes sense to develop a plan to pay off your debts prior to your divorce,” said Shirley Dean, education and community relations director for CCCS of the East Bay. “Remember, your divorce decree is an agreement between you and your spouse (not your creditors) on how your debts and assets will be divided. The contracts you signed with your creditors cannot be changed by the divorce decree. Whoever signed the original contract with the creditor will still be obligated to pay the debt after the divorce.”

As protection, your divorce agreement can include a clause stating that if the assigned debts are not repaid, you would be entitled to indemnification. After the fact, your only recourse may be to file contempt of court charges for failure to abide by the terms of the divorce decree. Keep in mind that still would not relieve you of your obligation on the debts.

Because divorce can be a very complex process, consider hiring a trusted financial advisor for help; be certain to ask about your advisor’s experience with divorce situations.

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About Consumer Credit Counseling Services
Consumer Credit Counseling Services (CCCS) is a non-profit, full-service credit-counseling agency, providing confidential financial guidance, counseling and debt management assistance to consumers for more than 47 years. CCCS helps consumers trim their expenses, develop a spending plan and repay debts. Counseling is available by appointment in branch offices and 24/7 by telephone and Internet. Services are available in English or Spanish. To learn more, call 800-762-2271 or visit their Web site at www.moneymanagement.org.

Tiffany Bass Bukow is the CEO & Founder of the #1 Personal Finance Website for Women and Families - www.msmoney.com. My life mission is to help people and the world thrive through creating companies that provide money, career and life skills education.

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Dividing Debt in Divorce

One of my favorite cleaners. Ever.

And also going for walks outside, reading a book, and the other leisurely pursuits of summer of course. Here are the three steps I follow –

1. Empty. I always start with my kitchen first. I empty the dishwasher of clean dishes and load it up with the dirty ones. I walk through each room and put things in their rightful place. Magazines, containers, clothes, everything gets put back. I clear my bathroom counter of bottles so the next morning is clear. I place clothes and extra shoes back into the closet. Organizing my clothes is the part I dread most, but I timed myself and found it never takes longer than a few minutes.

2. Wipe. Next, I wipe down the countertops of the kitchen. I have also started to occasionally wipe the floors to prevent dust throughout the week and get away without mopping on the weekend. I wipe down the bathroom counters and then dust the living room surfaces, the computer screen, the dining table. Not every day, but a few times a week does the trick.

3. Stop. The key to finishing in under ten minutes is to remember you’re not cleaning the house. Not during these ten minutes. You’re just restoring your home for the next day. For instance, you should clean the countertops of the crumbs from lunch, but don’t worry about wiping off the fingerprints from the stainless steel fridge. You should use a daily shower cleaner, but don’t break out your toilet scrubber.

What are your cleaning hacks? How do you find more time? Are your routines ongoing or more sporadic?

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An easy 10-minute daily clean up

1. Cash Card/Bank Card

A cash card/bank card that’s actually got funds available.  Anything can happen, and cash is one of the best ways to get out of bad situations.  You might need an emergency taxi ride. Or your date might come up embarrassingly short.  Whether your date is going well or badly, anything can happen.  It literally pays to be prepared.

2. Mobile/Cell

There’s the chance you might need to get out of your date, for an ‘emergency,’ if you’re on a nightmare date.  Be tactful with it- put it on vibrate, don’t reply to texts from your friends during a conversation.

3. Lip-goo/Gloss/lipstick/chap stick

Your lips are one of your most sell-able assets you have on a date, and where men’s eyes linger.  There’s nothing worse than having it wear-off halfway, or get smudged across your chin- which will have him staring at you for all of the wrong reasons.

4. Mini-perfume

Perfume can fade.  You don’t want to smell like the dinner you’ve just both eaten, make a discreet visit to the Ladies and refresh.  Don’t bathe in it- some people have allergies.  It isn’t romantic watching your date sneeze every 5 seconds.

5. Eye-liner/eye-shadow

Make-up bleeds, runs, drips.  Raccoon eyes are sexy on the runway (depending on the fashion), but not on a date.  If you’ve got a pimple, bring your cover-stick to do touch-ups throughout the night.

6. Pony-tail holder/clip

If you’re out together for a long evening, it’s useful to be able to not only let your hair down but put it up.  This is especially true for those nights out dancing, or activity dates.

7. Light Sweater

For all seasons (winter being the exception), the weather can change instantly.  Having something along with you- just in case- helps not distract him from your beauty to your goosebumps or shirt-bumps.

8. Chewing Gum/mints

Eating, drinking coffee, drinking- all of these can leave a nasty residue in your mouth- you don’t want to taste like regurgitated food.  Don’t leave the gum for the last moment, using it continually through the night makes you more kissable.

9. Clean Undies

This is for more advanced dates, clearly.  But as our mothers always told us, you can never be too careful.  There’s the added plus of wearing comfortable undies for the date and swapping for sexy ones towards the end of the evening.

10. Condoms

Whatever your birth control preferences, condoms are a dating staple.  Having more than one handy (you really never do know where the night will take you) gives you the relief of not running around town looking for an open mini-mart.

It’s fun dating and (possibly) mating.  With these few essentials to carry with you on your date, you’ll be prepared for everything and anything.

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10 Date-Savers Every Woman Should Have in Their Bag

As I push closer to forty, I worry if my arms tell my true age.  Do my saggy arms greet others before I actually wave hello?  

Well, it’s time to say GOOD RIDDENS to jelly arms!  

In our quest to be hip and fit moms, Running Betty and Run DMT have teamed up to present our readers with the ultimate challenge.  During the month of July, we’re pushing the limits with our push-up challenge.  Our goal: 100 push-ups before the end of July. 

With help of hundredpushups.com, this goal can be  painfully easily achieved. 

From hundredpushups.com

Push ups are one of the basic and most common exercises for the human body. Push ups are not only great for your chest, but do a tremendous job of defining your abs, triceps, shoulders and torso.  Your core strength will also go through the roof too!  

Hundredpushups.com offers a week-by-week plan to help make this an attainable goal.  Commit to 30 minutes three days a week and you will be on your way to one lean mean, hot momma machine. 

Are you up for the challenge?  If so, drop and give me twenty ten five two and sign your name in blood Mr. Linky to commit to the challenge.  Also, add a comment to this post with your link so other readers can visit your blog and support you through out the challenge. 

We would love for you to help spread the word about our “Pushing the Limits Challenge” by sharing it with your readers.   Add our “Pushing the Limits” bloggie button to your site and link back here. 

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<img src=”images/pushups” height=”102″width=”207″ border=”1″ alt=”Pushing the Limits July 2009″></a>

 

Feel free to tweet about it, too!  Pushing the Limits- 100 Push-ups by 7/31 http://tiny.cc/Fnls0 @denisermt @raffi #100pushups

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Pushing the Limits Push-up Challenge

And, oh no! The fashion throw backs…the shoulder pads. Or, as the fashionistas are calling them strong shoulders.

Zuma Press

Maybe if the designers call the trend something different no one will know we’re bringing something we’ve all tried twenty some odd years to forget about. It’ll be just like straight leg jeans. We won’t call them straight leg jeans, we’ll call them pencil jeans!

Even people in the industry, like Jeanie Syfu of The Fashion Show has noticed the strong shoulder, she told our own Rachel Segal,  ”[During Fashion Week] we saw splashes of neon, menswear looks, the return of the shoulder pad and prints.”

Yikes! Not only has it made it’s way to the Runway, it’s made it’s way to the Red Carpet. So, what’s next? Main Street? The Horror! Next stop…second grade and the stirrup legging.

Beyonce, she can pull off the look. She looked stunning in that little sparkly dress. But, it’s still up in the air as to whether any normal person could pull off wearing something like a grey Miu Miu Angular Shoulder Dress. What are your opinions on this look? What are you looking forward to this upcoming season? Let us know at the Splendicity Community!

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Ashley Shute spends eight hours a day working as a blue jean and t-shirt wearing community organizer in San Antonio. The other 16 hours are dedicated to dreaming about and shopping for the latest luxury fashions. Her style icon is Jacqueline Kennedy; classic, clean, and always professional. You will never find a fake bag in her closet and she wants a collection of Manolo Blahnik shoes before she turns 30.

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Love (Hate?) For The Fall: Strong Shoulders

Happy birthday to my daughter Julie today!

When she was packing to go away for two years to serve in the Peace Corp her room needed some serious clutter control. I couldn’t even stand to look in her room as I walked by because it looked like a tornado had hit it.

She said to me (which has become a family joke); “mom, it’s your fault I’m not organized, you never taught me”. I was agog and aghast. Now she is an expert at clutter control, packing and organizing. With all the places she has lived and worked (Albania, Eritrea (Africa), Niger, Nigeria and places in the U.S.) she now has taught me a thing or two about clutter control.

If you are working with your children teaching them how important clutter control is and you don’t seem to be getting anywhere—keep on teaching and working with them, sometimes it just takes a bit longer than we think it should take for them to be organized as we would like them to be.

Marilyn Bohn is an energetic, lively, compassionate, hard working and creative organizer. She was born to organize! Before becoming a professional organizer she worked professionally in diverse environments. She is involved in her community, providing her clients with a broad base of experience and knowledge.  She is a member of the National Association of Professional Organizers (NAPO).

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Julie–Happy Birthday