Yesterday was pajama day at school, which basically consisted of children running around in flip flops and clothes that didn’t look that different from regular summer wear! Because of the special occasion, I allowed the crew to stay a couple of extra hours, until 2:30 or so. When they got home, boy were they WIRED! I made the mistake of taking them to the grocery store before going home and I declare, Princess E was definitely cruising for a bruising. She was pushing other people’s carts! I thought she had actually lost her mind.

So when I finally get them home, they are arguing, crying and fighting with each other. I’m thinking, gee, the extra time is NOT worth it to me if this is what they are going to do with/to each other. They were in a state! Needless to say, they are only doing half day today. I can’t take the stress.

Oh, yeah, what I did while they were away – I was able to record some new “utters” at utterly, write one a letter/card to a friend and basically just hang around. No, for those who have the audacity to ask, I did not clean.

In closing, here are a few of the witty exchanges I’ve had over the past few weeks with my children. Have a laugh at the goddess’s expense, will you?

We’re in the car, driving. I want a diet coke. I don’t want to pull all of them out of the car, plus it’s high noon and Quick Check is bound to be crowded. So, I’m planning my drive thru. But I don’t want to just order a diet coke!!!

Me: Who wants a hamburger?
Mr. J: I do!
Princess E: Not me.
Caleb: I’m not hungry.
Me (to Caleb): Well, how about I buy you one now and you can eat it later?
Caleb: How about you don’t buy one now and cook us a burger later.

Needless to say, I ended up going to Walgreens and getting my soda. How embarrassing!!!

Me: Princess E, it’s time to go to bed.
Princess E, crying: Ok, I’ll go, but I won’t like it!

Mr. J is running around acting up.

Caleb: Mommy! Mr. J is acting fool again!

It’s quiet here. I can hear the dog snore. I can type this blog post - I don’t feel guilty that they’re watching too much Martha Speaks or Super Why. I don’t have to jump up to referee a disagreement or get some juice or change a pull up. I don’t have to look at the clock to know when it’s lunchtime. Nope, I can be myself….again!

The strange thing is, I am shell-shocked. After four years of steady little one time and pregnancies and having them stay with my mom, which is another issue in and of itself, I have truly guilt free children-free time thaat I love. Wonderful.

So, let me stop talking to you and get some more me-time!!!

Now, admittedly, I was a bit sad that they just RAN AWAY like they couldn’t wait to get away ( but who could blame them - who wants to hang around with Mommy when there are scooters and bikes and hula hoops?) but, readers, buy the time I got out to the car and realized that it was just me for the next three hours, I was pumped.

So, you may ask, what was the first thing I did? I came home and flopped on the bed, closed my eyes and savored the silence. Blossom, (the new dog) seemed to really appreciate it too because she stayed in (my good living room) chair snoozing. No one bothered me, no one bothered her. There was no screaming, no “give it back” or the best, no MOMMY! S/he won’t leave me alone. QUIET, pure SILENCE.

I made a cup of tea, flipped open the laptop, turned on the TV and vegged out for the next 2.5 hours. (Oh yeah, I also called The ChatterBox Radio show - shout out to Christie!) I rediscovered blip.fm. Then I took a shower and picked them up.

And you know what? The difference in all of our attitudes was amazing. I was a lot more calm after having some time to myself in the morning. I wasn’t cranky, hungry (because I was feeding them and doing chores instead of eating) or angry because I wasn’t able to finish laundry or a cleaning task because I had to mediate a dispute.

And they were TIRED. What is it about being in or around the water that makes you totally exhausted? Whatever it is, I want to bottle it….:)

So, dear readers, the goddess is having a bit of a mini vacation this week - and I’m also glad that my children are having fun with little folks their own age!

So, I drive to this center, which is in a sort of busy part of town. There’s a good diner down there though, so as we pull into the parking lot, Princess E says, “Mommy, are we going to get pancakes?” Ok, so I drive over to where I think the back door to the center is, and I assume that parents park in this lot and drop off here because the front door of the center faces a busy street.

I park. I look. No sign. Just a door with a bunch of 8 x 11 notices on it. I can’t read them since they’re about 10 feet away. I tell Mr. J and Princess E to stay in the car. I lock them in, then go up to the door.

Nothing is there that indicates “come around to the front, ring bell, nothing” And the door is locked.

Ok, so I get back into the van, drive around to the front of the center, which, as I said, is on a busy street. The FRONT of the center has no sign and the same notices taped to the inside of the door. No colored paper in the windows, no Big Bird, no Dora, no Grover, no Elmo, nothing. I can’t really see anything that indicates that this actually might be a day care center, not a deserted storefront. Plus I’m driving, so I don’t have that long to look. There is no place to park, so I keep on driving.

Back round the back again. I don’t have the number of the center, and to tell the truth, after having looked at the windows and other areas of the center, as well as the ugliness of the facade, I don’t want to be bothered. What happens when I don’t want to be bothered, I call hubby.

Me: I can’t even get into the center, I don’t see a sign.
Him: Did you go around the front?
Me: yeah, twice - looks like it’s deserted!
Him: Well, get out of there then.

As I’m talking, some dude comes strolling up with a key and opens the back door. Now, usually, I would have run up and said something, but I kept my goddess butt in the seat. After having perused the dirty windows of this place, plus the fact there was no sign, I was through!!!!

Me: Some guy just opened up the back door. He looked kinda strange, tho.
Him: Forget it then.
Me: (wailing) But what are we going to do about summer camp!!!! Waaaaaaah! Waaaah!
Him: You know, I think I saw a sign on XXXX road, over by XXX Church.
Me: (now excited) Oh, yeah! I”m gonna check it out! Yes!!

Long story short (my hands are getting tired), I check out the school where hubby saw the banner and it was NICE!!! There were children having FUN! There was a SIGN! A PLAYGROUND!

And mirabile dictu, the price was right! My money WAS good here. They appreciated my checkbook.

Saved, saved, saved!!!! The goddess is going to have a VACAY this summer!!!!!

On to make the rounds of the day care centers. They must have some summer programs right? Only poor naive me, with the idealized vision that money would be able to purchase my children some entertainment this summer was sadly, sadly mistaken. Due to the number of people living in this town below a certain income line, they have established free preschool, of which many of the centers in this town are a part. (I know that last sentence was awkward, but I can’t abide an “of” at the end of a sentence.) Therefore every center I visited wanted to know if I had registered “downtown” with the school system. Now, even as a teacher, I tried to avoid “downtown” so why the heck would I even want to go there now? Bottom line? We’re paid by the government, honey, so take your stupid money and hit the road, Jack. Stop waving that checkbook around! We’re part of the big government machine now! And ya ain’t gonna getcha kid in here cuz you didn’t go DOWNTOWN!!!!!

Ok, fine…I tucked my checkbook back into my purse and got out of there. But wait! I received a tip from a friend to check out this particular daycare/summer camp. Not only was it private, it was Christian based. I thought I hit the jackpot! Not only was it recommended by someone I knew, it was private (which meant me and my checkbook were welcome) and it had a bit of morals thrown in.

So I do what the goddess RARELY does. I PICKED UP THE PHONE. I’d much rather look a website or have hubby call, but folks, I was desperate to get something firmed up and soon. Let me let you in on the conversation:

Center: Hello, Blank Learning Center, may I help you? (so far so good, right? Sometimes you call these places and folks just say, hello)
Me: May I speak to (Center director) please?
Center: May I AXE who’s calling? (Oh, lord, oh lord, please lady, don’t axe me…please, I’ve got three littleuns)
Me: This is First Name, Last name.
Center: Hold on please.

Now, I’m like, ok, ok, goddess, get over the axe, at least she answered the phone sort of professionally.
I’m on hold for about three min. Someone else picks up the phone and aks, I mean, asks me for whom I’m holding and I repeat. She then tells me that I can make an appointment with her, since she’s the intake person. Fine, no problem. Then, I aks, I mean ask her about the program.

“Oh, we do, blah, blah and enrichment. Sometimes the children cry when they do enrichment because they don’t what to work.”

What the Sam Hill? Cry? What kind of children are these? Mookie gets a little annoyed when I try to put off his homework for even two minutes. So I talk myself down again, no biggie. relax, some children are just like that.

Now why would this woman tell me how lazy and unmotivated some of the children were? Do I want my children in a class of crying lazy sots? No, but hey, that’s life right? At least they were Christian based.

Next - the actual appointment.

I know that many parents read this blog and I also know that as the children get older, there is the increasing need to find activities for your children to do in the summer. When I was a child, we just hung out in our backyard, or went to someone else’s house, but times have changed. Parents are looking for a secure, safe, reputable (whether it be day camp or sleepaway camp) that does not include Jason, piranhas in the water or crazy counselors.

Last year, I observed one of those crazy day camps quite by accident. My children and I were on the way to one of the parks in our town. As we walked past the elementary school, we were sudden overrun by about 50 children, ages 9-11 in red shirts who promptly ran screaming down the sidewalk to a park that was built specifically for 2-5 year olds. They climbed on the equipment, stood on top of the bars (where you shouldn’t be standing) and generally made the park unusable for me and my little people, who happened to be exactly the right size for the park.

You may ask now, well, goddess, where were the camp counselors? My dear subject, the camp counselors, the oldest of which looked barely 18, were “hangin’” together in the gazebo in the park, “chillin’” and talking on their cell phones. As we walked dejectedly back past the school to use the playground behind the school (which, by the way was created for upper elementary students) the “adults” of the program were doing a little hanging out of their own. Unfortunately, I was neither surprised nor shocked -why should they bother doing any real work - obviously they were going to do as little as they could do to get by, as many will do.

So we come to my personal story of searching for a day camp - and you know the goddess ALWAYS has stories! Check out the next post!

I happened upon an article in which the author described his visit to a local school to share career day with a group of fourth graders. Further, he went on to describe how well the day was going until a counselor asked him to stop distributing newspapers to these fourth graders (important) because of article on the front page which concerned a sexual assault on a 14 year old girl. And of course, you know the headline was lurid and eye-catching. Apparently, he was welcome to distribute the papers without the front page, but instead of either ceasing to distribute the papers or removing the front page of the paper, he chose instead to leave the career day and not continue giving his presentation. How very adult – because you are asked not to do something for what school officials perceive as detrimental to the children, you decide to deprive the other children of your presentation. According to what he wrote, he felt that he was censored and being told what to say and what not to say.

According to the author, he was told that the principal did not want the children to see or have a newspaper with “such a story in it”, i.e. “Sex Assault of girl, 14, alleged”. He also wrote that he was “irritated” (his words) that the school would not use the news story as a teaching tool – teaching “youths” that there are predators out there. He then goes on to write that the school administrators chose to “bury the issue”.

As a parent, former educator and well familiar with the inner workings of a school system, I have to shake my head at this author’s naïveté about this issue. First of all, I totally understand the school’s position. As a mother, I would not want my fourth grade child reading an article about a sex assault on a 14 year old girl without me being right there to explain and clarify if needed. Second, as a parent, it is my understanding that my child will not be exposed to news stories of a sexual nature without my knowledge or permission. We as parents raise our children in different ways – it’s not that we are hiding the “bad things” of the world from our children or, as the author wrote, “bury the issue”, we want to be able to guide and advise our children through these events.

As for the teachers not using this as a teaching tool – the purpose of the author’s visit to the school was not to influence curriculum and lesson plans but to expose children to his chosen career in journalism in a non partisan, rated G type of way. Passing out a newspaper where the leading headline is “Sex Assault of girl, 14, alleged” to fourth graders (ages 9-11) is not exactly what you would call a best educational practice.

Schools do not bury the issue of sexual assault and predators from children, nor do they try to pretend that sexual predators do not target children. Rather, trained counselors teach these issues to our children and support teachers in their teaching of this subject.

Do you know what I think happened? I think that this person brought the papers to the school and didn’t even look at the headline. It just happened that the day’s headline was a little too much (in my opinion as a teacher) for 9-11 year olds. When this was pointed out to him, instead of thinking, gee, this may not be the best headline/story for children to read w/out parental or teacher guidance. Instead, he decided to become angry and walk out.

I commend the school for having the insight to take the newspapers from the fourth graders. Believe me, if those papers had gone home, many parents would have had a definite issue with that leading story. And, for the record, it’s because if our children are going to be exposed to such a touchy subject, let us as parents be the one to expose and guide them through.

Link to article: http://www.mycentraljersey.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2009905260307

Tell me – what would you think if your 9-10 year old came home with a newspaper with a lurid headline? Do you think this person was right in simply walking out of a career day because the school imposed a guideline on the content being distributed?

The trip down was uneventful - Mookie fell asleep as soon as he hit the car and Princess E and Mr. J colored quietly and didn’t even argue that much. (mind you, the operative word is much). I think what helped is that they were excited about the trip and only asked “Are we there yet?” twice, which I think is pretty good!

We did not visit Colonial Williamsburg itself - the price for a family of five was pretty hefty, in my opinion, for what you get….and the little ones weren’t old enough to get the full experience. However, we visited Jamestown and Yorktown as well as the Virginia Living Museum, which was a great trip, as the children loved the animals!

We stayed at a lovely resort in the area which had two bedroom, full kitchen, 2 baths, and Mookie’s favorite, a large whirlpool tub. Between that and the pools, that’s what the children remember most about the trip!

All in all, it was a great trip and I’m looking forward to getting back in the groove of being at home…..ugh, the unpacking!!!!

I’ve been really busy - the understatement of the year. I’ve closed neosoul.essentials bath and body temporarily and am concentrating on writing full time. Writing is something that I’ve finally realized that I’m actually good yet - I can tell because so many people visit here every day, so there MUST be something I’m doing right.

Let me catch you all up in a paragraph or two - Mookie turned SIX. Yes, SIX, right? Please pass the smelling salts because I can’t believe it myself. AND Mr. J had the nerve to turn THREE when I had my back turned. So, wow, I’ve now got a six, four and three year old. Who’s going to buy me a drink???

Let’s recap: closed biz, (temporarily), and I have a six year old and a three year old.

There will be a test.

I have to say that having been a teacher for over 15 years that I have built up a pretty good immune system. And, interesting, by allowing my children to play in the dirt, (yes in the dirt) and being totally against the constant use of Purell and other so-called anti-germ products (don’t get me started on how all THAT is creating superbugs that are becoming resistant to even the strongest antibiotics), that they’ve built up some pretty good immune systems too. However, even the goddess is taken down once in a while, and this past week, the flu clotheslined me but good. (If you haven’t seen anyone been clotheslined, watch wrestling or football.)

My body ached, from the top of my head down my neck, my back even the back of my legs and my face was burning hot while my body had chills. Oh, and my head was pounding so fiercely that I dared not pick up anything from the floor for fear that it would simply explode. I still took the little ones to MOPS (Mothers of preschoolers) however, knowing full well that two hours of me sitting at a table sipping cold juice while they played with other children (out of my eyesight) would tire them out enough so that they would take a nap.

So I went to MOPS, made some cool soaps (yeah, I know what you’re thinking, goddess, you make soap for your biz, how could that be fun?) Well, I’ll tell you. I make a blue dolphin soap, a couple of purple starfish soap and some shell soap. Some one else, bought the soap, heated it up, gave me all the utensils, the color and the fragrance and cleaned up behind me. What more could you ask for? It was fun!

After MOPS, fed them lunch and said, “Mommy’s not feeling well at all, so we’re all going to go up and take a nap, OK?”

Princess E and Mr. J (Mookie was in school): Yes, Mommy.
Mr. J: Mommy sick! Feel betta mommy
Princess E: You should take some medicine so you can feel better.

Ok, we all go upstairs (now this is the day that’s all warm and springlike, and here I am am shivering under a quilt with a cool cloth on my face.) I fall asleep and wake to footsteps on the lower floor. Blossom, the new dog, is under the bed snoring. Good lookin out there Blossie.

I go to the top of the stairs, and there’s Mr. J on the first floor. Apparently, while Mom was knocked out, they were going about their lives, chllin in the den, playing with playdoh, hotwheels cars and drinking apple juice. No tv, no noise, no fighting. No problems.

Wow. I was floored at the fact that a 4 yr old and an almost 3 year old behaved so well while I got a bit of a rest. What little blessings!! And they were so concerned about me feeling better.

Between my mom, grandmom and husband, I was able to rest, stay in BED and sleep until I felt functional again, which wasn’t until about Friday. But wow, did I get such great rest! Too bad I had to get sick to do it!