Read My Mind

On Relationships

2012-01-31T23:07:00.003-07:00

It is a hard process - to experience and go through something that once had so much potential and slowly have it disintegrate without being able to salvage it. Besides asking myself what the hell happened, I am always on edge, worried and becoming increasingly disheartened.

I am a firm believer of communication to solve my problems, and yet everytime I try to lay out my cards and talk things through, it ends up backfiring and a huge argument ensues where the both of us go to bed angry. Nothing is solved – it is only shoved under the rug where it resurfaces again a month or two in the future. I want him to understand what I am thinking, how I am feeling, but I can never string the right combination of words together. No matter how much I desperately want things to work, we can never align, get on the same page and move forward together happily.

There is always some sort of two way sacrifice or compromise in a healthy relationship, but there is none in mine. I am at my wits’ end.

Come on to bed blogger, let's kiss and make up.

2010-10-21T16:00:00.008-06:00

I lose. I've been so busy with this and that that I haven't had a spare moment since my Fall semester started in September. Not that I would blog anyways if I had time. Taking 4 core business classes has diminished my ability to form sentences and has subsequently replaced my head with the ability to calculate future values, bonds and mortgages for long hours.

Except apparently I am gaining it all back as I write this.

Without a doubt, I have been overwhelmed. Group work is required for most of my classes (obviously anyone who has ever had to do group work in University knows that time is most efficiently spent this way. And by efficiently I mean not really at all). I have tedious assignments, quizzes and midterms seemingly non-stop. This has turned me into some kind of Grumpy McGrumpy pants. Or a professional asshole. Whatever.

Whenever someone asks what my major is and I reply "Accounting" I suddenly see the light disappear from their eyes and the calculating judgments they're forming about me. And then comes the fake enthusiasm like I picked the most interesting major ever.

"JUST BECAUSE I AM AN ACCOUNTING MAJOR DOES NOT MAKE ME BORING AND LAME!" I want to scream. "And I can be creative and artsy fartsy too!" (The artsy fartsy, creative part is true; The former two may or may not be.)

But then I realized that I am a girl who likes things. Pretty things. Shiny things. Burberry things. Although I know that money sure as hell cannot buy happiness, I do know it can buy me things. An English degree will not get me there, but perhaps a Business degree will. That is ok in my book. I have no interest in doing something I love and be barely scraping by to make ends meet by pursuing it. I am trying to find the upper-middle ground, and that is that.

With that being said and all seriousness aside, it is extremely hard to care about school work and be a lazy kitten instead when the weather starts dropping. All I want to do is stay in my warm bed and play Mario Kart DS.

PS. I'm Silk Spectre for Halloween this year. She's badass and I have a serious girl crush on her.

Some images

2010-08-19T11:53:00.001-06:00

Looking through my files, it seems I have collected and accumulated a whole bunch of pictures and photos over the past several months that strike me as interesting or inspiring. I figure that they're worth sharing since my writing has undoubtedly deteriorated/become almost non existent over the last couple months. The obvious solution is to replace words with pretty pictures.

While we're young

2010-08-02T11:59:00.013-06:00

I know it has been forever since I last updated, and I find myself saying this each time I post, but the truth is that I have become boring now. Or I have nothing to say. Something along those lines. I have about 7 drafts in my blogger since my last entry, and I've scrapped them all because I deemed them uninteresting or redundant of things I have already said. I need to get out and make some bad decisions or something.

Some updates:

The thing I have been looking forward to lately is the idea that I am inheriting the Lexus RX from my dad. He is in the looks for a new car and thus giving me the keys to the SUV. My first car will be a fucking Lexus, which is something I can definitely live with. He is spoiling me to say the least. Life is good.

Maybe this isn't worth mentioning, but I've been getting these weird random bruises and cuts out of nowhere lately. I don't know how I get them, but the only reasonable explanation must be that I'm some sort of crime fighting superhero by night. Honestly, how and where do these injuries come from?

In other more general news I have been really enjoying my summer. I haven't left the city, as I usually do each summer, but I'm not complaining. There is comfort in enjoying time off, even if it isn't the least bit productive. Between watching Big Brother (this is a annual summer tradition of mine), outdoor concerts and patio lunches, I'd say I have nothing to complain about.

I am a little bit (or a lot!) excited on the fashion front, as fall fashions are starting to roll out everywhere. I have to say that I prefer layering knits over short shorts and tank tops. Maybe it is because I'm so pale that I feel slightly out of place amongst all the tan people. I stand out like a sore thumb every summer. Winter dressing suits me more I think. And I'll admit, I miss being able to wear black.

Topshop just rolled out their Dark Nouveau collection, and H&M Divided also has promos for their Fall '10 collection.

H&M Divided Fall:

Source: Fashion Gone Rogue

I can't wait to get my hands on a military-esque jacket and a pair of kick ass ankle boots for the colder months!

Some things you probably don't care about

2010-06-10T12:57:00.008-06:00

Random thoughts and updates and things I love this month:

- Do not blush furiously the next time you see a friend. Who you had a dream about. A not-so-appropriate dream. I repeat: DO NOT BLUSH. And don't accidentally give her that look. Because you do not mean that look. You don't. It came unbidden to your unconscious. You don't mean it. So STOP IT.

- Sometimes if you wait long enough, you get exactly what you want and exactly what you need.

- I've noticed that when you're about to go to the gym, it’s super important that you let as many people know as possible whether via twitter, facebook or your blog. More calories are burned when you brag about it.

- My life schedule: worry worry worry worry worry worry worry...rinse and repeat.

- I'm probably the only one rooting for Olivia Palermo on The City. I'm sorry people, but I CAN'T HATE HER. She's too impeccably dressed. And there are of course things about her that annoy me but I feel like MTV constantly makes her out to be the bad guy.

- It's "a lot" and not "alot" people.

- Obsession this month: Wildfox Couture tees

My boyfriend bought me one and I absolutely love it! The material is so soft and flowy. It's a dream. View the whole collection here.

- Frozen yogurt at Spoon Me on Kensington. YUM:

- Playing video games with my sweetheart. It's pretty rad.

The art of the compliment

2010-05-13T16:23:00.002-06:00

I love compliments. Seriously, they light the fire to what is called my ego. And admit it, you love them too.

You're hot. You have the best butt. You're so smart. You smell nice. I love what you're wearing. It's weird, but you remind me of Adriana Lima*.

Compliments are good for the soul. They never cease to warm my insides. The more specific the compliment, the more bonus points you score.

The problem is discerning which one's are genuine and which ones are the I-want-to-sleep-with-you-and-if-it-means-telling-you-pretty-things-then-so-be-it ones.

But the compliment that seems to bring about mixed feelings among us ladies has to be:

You're cute.

I was talking to a friend a while ago and she brought about how she doesn't think "you're cute" counts as a compliment. It is more something you say when you can't tell a girl she's hot and "you're cute" acts as a kind of safe medium. I agree with her to an extent. Cute isn't exactly the best compliment to give to another. For me, cute stirs up images of kittens and puppies and unicorns that you want to put in your pocket and carry around with you. Or those real life anime looking girls with big huge alien eyes and frilly clothes.

But then again, I take it. And I don't mind it. It doesn't exactly make my panties wet or whatever, but hey, I say thank you all the same.

However tell me I'm smart and gorgeous and the best thing since grilled cheese and I'm yours**.

*The proper way to give this compliment is actually the other way around (i.e. Adriana Lima reminds me of you).

**Not really. Do you really think it's that easy. But it's always nice to hear. And it'll make me like you more. Especially if you add in the grilled cheese part.

Can you please spell 'Gabbana'?

2010-05-04T12:03:00.007-06:00

In regards to shopping and buying clothes, my boyfriend tells me I am "beyond hope" and "a lost cause" everyday. Which is a complete exaggeration people. I mean, just because I want pretty much everything, doesn't mean I have an addiction does it?

Okay so I acknowledge that I have a teeny little minuscule shopping problem. I don't know where the line is but I'm sure I've crossed it. In fact, I'm way past the line. I've hiked, climbed mountains, and swam oceans passed the line. If it weren't for my amazing money managing skills I'd probably be up to my head in debt right now.

Also, putting that last collage together (see last post) obviously shows that I have too much time on my hands.

I watched The September Issue over the weekend, which follows the behind the scenes activities of Anna Wintour and Vogue's making of the annual September issue. An interesting point that Wintour makes is when she acknowledges that people who love fashion are often seen as superficial or mocked for caring so much about the type of clothes on their back:

"Just because you like to put on a beautiful Carolina Herrera dress or a pair of J Brand blue jeans instead of something basic from K-Mart it doesn't mean that you're a dumb person."

It reminds me of the scene in The Devil Wears Prada, where Anne Hathaway's character scoffs at the magazine she works at and ridicules her coworkers behind their backs for being so invested in clothes and the minuscule details surrounding the industry, until finally, Meryl Streep puts her in her place. (Which means she told her to get off her high horse and gtfo of her face).

Obviously caring about how you dress and having an interest in fashion is not a crime, and thinking that people who do are stupid or idiots is a pretty poor and unfounded generalization. I've also noticed that people who love to shop are also seen as being tied up with being frivolous or lazy, which is probably the most untrue generalization I've heard.

If anything, my incessant spending habits fuel the fire to work harder in order to finance my wants.

Anyhowl, I know my blogging habits have been pretty rare lately. Hopefully I'll have time to blog more often as I'm off for two weeks before my Spring classes start up. Happy Tuesday people.

Currently obsessed

2010-05-04T10:37:00.008-06:00

This month's drool worthy items (and Olivia Palermo):

1. Topshop floral stripe tee
2. Lanvin Stanislas necklace
3. Michael Kors gold plated stainless steel chronograph watch
4. Olivia Palermo (I have the BIGGEST, most full blown girl-crush on her)
5. Supermarket London England tower bridge three finger ring
6. Georgina Goodman nude love shoes
7. Chanel 2.55 bag in coral
8. AG Adriano Goldschmied jeans in 18 Years Damaged
9. China Glaze nail polish in Pool Party

Boys boys boys

2010-03-16T16:48:00.003-06:00

As much as I complain about guys, I think I have them figured out (however this does not mean I've mastered the whole perfect girlfriend riff rack). Seriously people. This is really important. I think I really have this whole thing unraveled. I know their general habits and tricks. And in general, I know their intentions are usually never really good, especially when it comes to do doing something nice for a girl. It's almost never "just because" and always because they have to take their chances and hope for the best (getting into her pants).

Now call me clueless, but for the longest time, I never knew all this. When I had an interest in a guy it would be all "why did he do that?" or "is he just being nice, because he's generally a nice guy?" or the typical "does he really like me"? Luckily I've gotten smarter (or did my research).

To get to all these conclusions, I've simply asked my guy friends straight up. A couple months ago, I was talking to one of my guy friends and I complained about guys being confusing, with which he replied, "Guys are easy. We only have a two class classification system." Curious and intrigued, I demanded he tell me more.

Basically he went on to say that girls get stamps on their heads whether they like it or not. It's either "fuckable" or "non fuckable." Either you get thrown into the accept or the reject category. Accept meaning I would bone her and reject meaning no, there's no possibility in hell.

Of course there are exceptions to this rule, and just because one guy wants to bone you, another may not. Or vice versa.

But hey, don't take my word for it. Here's a real deal testimonial that pretty much sums up my discovery:

"I'm a guy, I know what we think. I know how we scheme to get in the pants of girls we like, regardless if they are attached to someone else or not. It's what we do. We think with our dicks most of the time. If you hang out with a girl long enough 'as friends' it's almost guaranteed at some point you'll get laid if you try. We are a shady bunch, and most of us have schemed, lied, or manipulated to have sex with someone who otherwise would not have."

Can't say I'm surprised.

Boyfriend's Note: She's right. Some of us guys might be offended, but this is not in any way an unfair generalization. By thinking like this we men help to ensure the survival of the human race.

If already read, feel free to mark as read

2010-03-10T23:09:00.000-07:00

Since I've been suffering from some serious blogger's block for the last two weeks, I've decided to repost an old post in light of the plaid trend madness everywhere. I still completely and wholly stand by this particular post.

Posted on June 6th, 2009:

I think I've developed a huge thing for guys in plaid.

But instead of rambling too much, I'll let the pictures do the talking. Seriously, if I start describing the things I would do to them, this post would turn into an excerpt from one of those raunchy romance novels (i.e. Gettin' Buck Wild: The Sex Chronicles). Except worse...much worse. And by "worse", I mean better-- downright dirty and probably illegal. But I'll spare everyone the play by play of my fantasies.

Whoever agrees that guys in plaid equals gold should most definitely join this group on facebook.

PS. I finally got my phone! I am feeling myself again. Seriously people, just text me random stuff about anything. I'll most definitely text back...with long deep sentimental messages too. (Yep, being deprived of a phone for a week will do that to you.)

Belle & Sebastian - She's Losing It

Phobias, part I

2010-02-17T10:30:00.008-07:00

As far as I'm concerned, there are two types of people in this world: People who know their clothing color limits when it comes to dressing and those who don't.

Now before all of you in the latter category come at me with pitchforks, I have a confession: I have an extreme fear of wearing bright colors in general. One look into my neutral wardrobe should be enough proof. I am slowly trying to accept some colors into my wardrobe slowly, but it is a work in progress. Also I should mention that an exception to this is floral or plaid prints.

Basically, it's like a phobia. This phobia is so great that I even try to cut most of the color out of boyfriend's wardrobe. He should never leave me unattended at his apartment or he would come home to find his wardrobe destroyed and in ruins. This condition even has a name. It's called Chromophobia.

But the upside is that I can handle a little bit of color now. One bright colored piece paired with neutrals (blacks, greys, navies, whites, and any variation in between) is my rule/limit. It's some sort of brain mechanism where if I wear more than one bright colored piece, I think I would throw up or start having the shakes and smashing windows. Olivia Palermo provides an excellent example of how it should be done:

But god forbid those who insist on pairing bright color with bright color. As well, some colors are unforgivable in general and will never make their way into my wardrobe.

I’ve learned to accept these kinds of bright colored dressers as people, even though I think it’s disgusting and plain, downright wrong. I try not to judge them too harshly. I try to understand why someone would buy a pair of skinny jeans in bright green. It's beyond my understanding but I try to deal with it nonetheless.

More often than not, I have caught a great, beautifully cut top while shopping, only to be let down because it is a dreadful color like fucking magenta with yellow stripes running everywhere . So to all clothing manufacturers: If something is good the way it is (read: in beautiful neutral colors), for the love of baby jesus, let it be. Let it be.

But not all people think this way. So do you know what I have to say to all you colorful dressers in your 80's color t shirts? The world would be a much better place without you. Stop this insanity right now. The world does not work this way! If this little trend catches on, people are going to start replacing all the beautiful neutral colors with the Crayola palette.

The solution to lying liars who lie.

2010-02-04T12:41:00.013-07:00

I once had the interesting experience of having a pathological liar as a friend. Unfortunately when we first met, she wasn't Pinocchio and so there was no way for me to spot this particular personality flaw right away. However, when I found out about her lying ways, instead of feeling angry that she lied about multiple things, it only gave rise to feelings of pity and charity. And of course, questions of my gullibility.

Which is why I have decided that these pathological liars need to come with BIG warning indicators. Or at least ominous music. Wouldn’t that be increasingly helpful? Especially when it involves the opposite sex.

Imagine this scenario: You are at the bar or club with your friends, having a drink and suddenly the door swings opens and he walks in. You know the one. His dark hair is slightly tousled as if he has just gotten out of that gorgeous convertible, his features are chiseled, and everything about him is full of promise. He walks over to you, with just the right amount of confidence in his stride, and gives you a smile that pretty much curls your toes it has so much sex appeal.

However, as all this is happening the ominous music cues and consistently gets louder and louder until you simply cannot ignore it anymore. Sirens go off in your head and you tell him, no way Jose.

Approximate time you just saved: 1 month - 1 year.

Movies do this all the time. This is why I can never understand why the poor women consistently dates the man who abuses her over the many long years, is really a criminal in disguise, or is a business man who has four other wives in four other cities. Don't they hear the ominous piano notes that accompany him whenever he enters the scene? Is it so difficult? Seriously, they're pretty damn loud.

This would also be especially helpful for my boyfriend, not because he's a liar, but because of yours truly. Like when I get angry. When I get angry, I feel like I can win any and every argument because I have the powers of irrational thought on my side. So before my anger with him plateaus, the foreboding tones would start and he could run as far and as fast as he could away from me.

Easy peasy, right?

15 interesting facts about dreams

2010-01-17T20:40:00.001-07:00

1. You forget 90% of your dreams. Within 5 minutes of waking, half of your dream is forgotten. Within 10, 90% is gone.

2. Blind people also dream. People who became blind after birth can see images in their dreams. People who are born blind do not see any images, but have dreams equally vivid involving their other senses of sound, smell, touch and emotion.

3. Everybody dreams. Every human being dreams (except in cases of extreme psychological disorder). If you think you are not dreaming, you just forget your dreams.

4. In our dreams, we only see faces that we already know. Our mind is not inventing faces – in our dreams we see real faces of real people that we have seen during our life but may not know or remember. We have all seen hundreds of thousands of faces throughout our lives, so we have an endless supply of characters for our brain to utilize during our dreams.

5. Not everybody dreams in color. A full 12% of sighted people dream exclusively in black and white. The remaining number dream in full color. Studies from 1915 through to the 1950s maintained that the majority of dreams were in black and white, but these results began to change in the 1960s. Today, only 4.4% of the dreams of under-25 year-olds are in black and white. Recent research has suggested that those changing results may be linked to the switch from black-and-white film and TV to color media.

6. Dreams are symbolic. If you dream about some particular subject it is not often that the dream is about that. Dreams speak in a deeply symbolic language. Whatever symbol your dream picks on it is most unlikely to be a symbol for itself.

7. Emotions; The most common emotion experienced in dreams is anxiety. Negative emotions are more common than positive ones.

8. You can have four to seven dreams in one night. On average, you can dream anywhere from one or two hours every night.

9. Animals dream too. Studies have been done on many different animals, and they all show the same brain waves during dreaming sleep as humans. Watch a dog sleeping sometime. The paws move like they are running and they make yipping sounds as if they are chasing something in a dream.

10. Body Paralysis.

Rapid eye movement (REM) sleep is a normal stage of sleep characterized by rapid movements of the eyes. REM sleep in adult humans typically occupies 20-25% of total sleep, about 90-120 minutes of a night’s sleep.

During REM sleep the body is paralyzed by a mechanism in the brain in order to prevent the movements which occur in the dream from causing the physical body to move. However, it is possible for this mechanism to be triggered before, during, or after normal sleep while the brain awakens.

11. Dream Incorporation. Our mind interprets the external stimuli that our senses are bombarded with when we are asleep and make them a part of our dreams. This means that sometimes, in our dreams, we hear a sound from reality and incorporate it in a way. For example you may be dreaming that you are in a concert, while your brother is playing a guitar during your sleep.

12. Men and women dream differently. Men tend to dream more about other men. Around 70% of the characters in a man’s dream are other men. On the other hand, a woman’s dream contains almost an equal number of men and women. Aside from that, men generally have more aggressive emotions in their dreams than the female lot.

13. Precognitive Dreams. Results of several surveys across large population sets indicate that between 18% and 38% of people have experienced at least one precognitive dream and 70% have experienced déjà vu. The percentage of persons that believe precognitive dreaming is possible is even higher, ranging from 63% to 98%.

14. If you are snoring, then you cannot be dreaming.

15. You can experience an orgasm in your dreams. You can not only have s e x as pleasurable as in your real life while dreaming, but also experience an o r g a s m as strong as a real one, without any wet results. The sensations felt while lucid dreaming (touch, pleasure and etc..) can be as pleasurable and strong (or I believe even stronger) as the sensations experienced in the real world.

Source

Making J.Lo proud

2010-01-12T11:18:00.000-07:00

Back in high school, (and I kid you not), I was known as the "asian girl with the big butt."
A particular conversation I was told of went like this:

"Hey, you know Sam--"
"Who? Wait, the asian girl with the big bubble butt right?"
"Yeah that's the one."
"Well, yeah sure! Why didn't you say so?"

When my guy friend told me this conversation he had with one of his buddies, I was mortified. Asian girl with the big bubble butt? You have got to be kidding me. He had to reassure me over and over again that it was a good thing and that it was hot. I rolled my eyes at this and sulked. Of course, like any other girl growing up, I had the preconceived notion that looking like a stick skinny model was the way to go. (Because who ever saw a Lagerfeld model with a big butt? I think not.)

It was even worse because even though I had a 24 inch waist, I could not for the life of me pull myself into a size 24 jean. They slid on smoothly from foot to thigh and then suddenly, I wouldn't be able to pull it over my butt and up past my "childbearing hips." To say it was a struggle is an understatement. I had to wear a size 26, and to this day, I still do...always with a belt of course. At the time, the rear was not a friend of mine. It was my enemy.

Over the years, I've been able to embrace what I have and love my butt. I'm not sure how it happened, but it happened. Yes, I do love it, and I wouldn't trade it for the entire Chanel and Proenza Schouler bag collection put together.

So to all the bootylicious girls out there, embrace that junk in the trunk. If I could go back in time to my former self, I'd slap myself across the face and tell myself to loosen up. Give 'em a little shake here and there.

Live a little.

Growing old does not apply to me

2010-01-06T12:20:00.009-07:00

Tomorrow is the birthday. Another year older.

Not that I'm old or anything. I'm young, fertile and nothing's sagging. In fact, quite the opposite. Everything is in working order, so all is good.

With that, I will present my wishlist for this year:

- Gaspard Ulliel, James Franco or Johnny Depp (individually or all at the same time is not a big deal to me).
- A new texture of peanut butter (sometimes I get bored of smooth and crunchy).
- The entire Stella McCartney and Chloe spring/summer '10 collection (ruffles, lace and all).
- A Coldstone Creamery built in my cul-de-sac.
- A complete understanding of how a guy's brain works, computers, and why the trip back is always shorter than the trip there.
- Snow in this city that affects everyone else but me. And acceptance by everyone that this is fair and how it should be.
- The ability to win a game of Tap Tap with humility instead of dancing around and cheering my own awesomeness.

I hope everyone steps up to the plate for this.

That's a wrap. Here's to a new year.

2010-01-01T17:46:00.006-07:00

Wishing you a happy 2010!

This is why I'm not a famous blogger

2009-12-27T19:54:00.008-07:00

It's been over two weeks since my last, real entry, which isn't really that long ago, except that I usually never go this long without blogging. I wish I could say I've been off doing something great like kicking ass and taking names. Or Opium.

What really happened was a brief prison sentence. Which may or may not be because of the male prostitute ring that I was known for overseeing and facilitating.

Okay, seriously, what really happened?

1. Finals happened that pretty much beat me down to a pulp. That entire week I was desperately wishing my coffee contained something a little more than just coffee.

2. Laziness ensued not long after. After screwing up my sleeping pattern during my study sessions for finals, blogging was not happening, neither was thinking.

3. I actually think I covered pretty much everything. But it seems weird to stop at number two, so I'm going to pretend I have a third reason. Like maybe I got a job or something.

A play by play of my brain activity after finishing my finals:

Samm: Okay, now that finals is over, we can relax and take it easy. And maybe find some time to write a blog entry or two.

Brain: DOES NOT COMPUTE

Samm: I’m only saying, we don't have to, let's just watch some movies or something and relax.

Brain: ERROR! GLITCH! DOES NOT COMPUTE!

Samm: BITCH, JUST FUCKING RELAX! PLEASE!

So that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I haven't been blogging lately.

Oh and also,

Went boxing day shopping yesterday and snagged myself a flap bag like the one above. All is good.

2009-12-23T17:52:00.004-07:00

"Fashion condemns us to many follies; the greatest is to make ourselves its slave." - Napoleon Bonaparte

Happy holidays everyone! (Will be back sometime next week, maybe sooner.)

Playing games.

2009-12-08T18:26:00.010-07:00

Games. It's all a part of dating and relationships. Everyone plays them and anyone who says they don't is probably lying. And I'm talking about games like the one where we say “I don’t care about you” because we can't let the other person know that we really do care about them and we don't want to show all our cards. Only then sometimes the person we really want doesn’t take the bait and we end up playing alone. Stupid bait.

Or the game where you try to make the one who really care about jealous by completely ignoring them and flirting with someone else who you couldn't care less about. Only that doesn't work either and sometimes you're left alone at the end of the night because they saw right through you and wasn't impressed and kind of hurt.

Or the game where you play hard to get. But we all know most of the time, that doesn't work.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that more often than not, games are more hurtful than harmless. Yeah it's kind of bullshit. Actually, it's really bullshit.

The one where I have to act like a cold hearted bitch (but I'm really not)

2009-11-30T19:15:00.010-07:00

A few weeks ago, one of my guy friends asked me how I felt about him. I could tell it took a lot of courage for him to admit his feelings for me. So I looked him deep in the eyes, and opened my mouth, ready to answer him.

And I answered him the way I usually answer things...with brute/untamed force. I punched him in the face.

Totally kidding, I'm not a violent person. I've never even punched anyone before. In fact, I never hit people, unless someone takes my hand and thereby forces me to hit them with it. I answered him with brutal honesty.

I'm not a brutally honest person, so this was tough for me. When I have to tell someone bad news, I do it lightly. I tread carefully. I beat around the bush until they bring their hands up to choke me for the truth. In short, I'm not good at turning people down. I'm not a doormat of any sort, but I'm careful about how I say things. Too careful almost.

Instead of being like one of my closest friends, who is the bluntest person I know, and who would be all, "Dude, no way, I'm not interested. And I'm sleeping with your brother" or something along the same lines of awesome, I have to sugar coat everything.

Anyways, all that aside, it's not like my opinion of him will change. He's still my friend and an awesome guy, and I will probably act as if nothing out of the ordinary ever happened the next time I see him. Also, no one will ever ask me out again out of fear that I will end up really punching them in the face next time.

Song today is Metric - Gold Guns Girls

2009-11-22T21:10:00.003-07:00

"The most beautiful clothes that can dress a woman are the arms of the man she loves. But for those who haven't had the fortune of finding this happiness, I am there."

- Yves Saint Laurent, 1983

I fell into the twitter trap

2009-11-19T23:40:00.004-07:00

I finally made an account after months and months of dragging my feet on the whole thing. I'm not sure how I feel about this whole twitter thing, I still don't understand the whole hype around it. And I know I'm totally lame because everyone else got one like forever ago, but I was never good at keeping up with the times.

For instance, I learned today "FTW" meant "for the win." I think I even used it once without knowing what it meant. Did everyone else know this? Why does no one tell me anything?

Follow me here. I'm not a snob. Promise.

And here's a comic I adore. Calvin and Hobbes always melts my heart.

Song today is an old favorite: Portishead - Glory Box.

2009-11-16T12:31:00.002-07:00

"I have often said that I wish I had invented blue jeans: the most spectacular, the most practical, the most relaxed and nonchalant. They have expression, modesty, sex appeal, simplicity - all I hope for in my clothes."

- Yves Saint Laurent

Misinformed

2009-11-12T18:15:00.006-07:00

(Click to enlarge)

Source: We the Robots

Sometimes fashion gives you orgasms.

2009-11-10T21:13:00.012-07:00

I have blogger's block like you wouldn't believe.

I never know what to blog about these days. So that means I'm going to blog about the boots I bought over the weekend. They're so gorgeous, I want to have babies with them.

Just kidding, that was a lie. I'm not going to blog about reproducing spawns with my boots, so please don't close the window.

Anyways. I really don't know what to blog about. All that comes to mind is this morning when my aunt asked me what language they speak in Italy. And when I was like "um, Italian", she was like "no, those are the people."

And then I was about to roll my eyes at her, but then I thought about it, and that sounds awfully like something I would say. Like this one time when I was in the car with my boyfriend and we passed by the Mongolian Grill and I asked him in all seriousness, "I wonder what kind of food they serve there?" Yeah. I know, I know. It's the Mongolian-fucking-grill. I realized that after some thought.

Sorry for wasting your time, I just realized that this post really has no point. I told you guys I have major blogger's block. I started reading week today so hopefully I have time to sit down to write a proper post in the next few days.