Black Girls Like Us

Weekend Roundup

2012-01-29T20:39:00.000-06:00

Wait...Is Ferris Bueller coming back?

Apparently JoJo forgot that she can sing and she think she has to hoe it up like her contemporaries. No sweet girl..NO...you're better than this. - Popoholic

I usually have no shine for Adam Lambert. He's is the epitome of EXTRANESS. It has nothing to do with his sexuality. I just can't stand folks who have talent yet insist on doing THE MOST instead of just SINGING. But I have to be honest, I can not stop listening to Adam's current single "Better Than I Know Myself." I wish I could download the live version of this because he is SANGING!! - Ellen

I'm not going to clown Demi Moore. If she's doing whip-its (the easy high of bored suburban teenagers) and sustaining herself on Red Bull then she's clearly got issues and it's unfortunate that those issues have to be splashed all over the internet. - TMZ

Presented without shade or comment and with only a slight gas face - Christina singing "At Last" at Etta James' funeral - WSJ Blog

I hate Timeline. Facebook doesn't care. We're all getting it whether we like it or not. This may help curb my FB addiction. If you haven't already switched (like me), here are a few things you should know. - PC Mag

Why must the hot ones be so damaged? - Daily Mail

BGLU Approved: "...Bougie Black Girls Say"

2012-01-27T14:01:00.000-06:00

We have been laughing at this video for weeks now and I just realized that we never posted it! This hilarious video may as well have been named "Ish Tia, Toya and Most of Their Black Girlfriends Say" because I have never ever seen anything so telling in my life! And why did I get salty at "Groupon!"? I have about twelve in my email right now just ready to be used. I love a Groupon!

Very Smart Brothas did an awesome job with this. Check out their blog at http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/.

Do you and your friends ever say any of the phrases in this video?

Music and Me: Welcome Back D'Angelo

2012-01-26T16:46:00.001-06:00

I have had a craptaculous day/week/month. 2012 has been so rough and January isn't even over yet!However, a glimmer of hope shone through today when Okayplayer reported that D'Angelo was back and has kicked off a series of shows overseas. The first stop is tonight in Stockholm, Sweden and lo and behold there is video! 8 funky fresh minutes of "Chicken Grease" from his first show in over 11 years.

And this is why my hardcore love affair with music continues. Music never lets me down (I said music, not mess) and I can never let it down. Long live great music and welcome back D'Angelo.

BGLU Approved: Elliott Yamin "3 Words"

2012-01-24T17:13:00.000-06:00

Elliott Yeeeaaah Maaaan! It's good to finally have some new music from one of BGLU's faves for quite some time now. "3 Words" is Elliott Yamin's first single off of his upcoming release Let's Get Back to What's Real, slated to drop on March 27. Tell us what you think about it.

Weekend Roundup

2012-01-22T20:42:00.001-06:00

I know it's been a minute since we did a roundup. But we're trying to be more consistent around here. So we'll do our best to post a roundup once a week.

I really need Seal and Heidi to not be breaking up. - E! Online

I feel really dirty for wanting to see the Magic Mike. But C'MON...Adam Rodriguez AND Matt Bomer AND Channing Tatum. Are you kidding me? - EW.com

Red Tails was #2 at the box office this weekend. YAY!! - Box Office Mojo

The Spice Girls may be reuniting. I'm still mad at the Olympic Ticket committee for not giving me the option to buy tickets...But whatever. - Popsugar

Gas is on the rise again. Water is wet. The sun is hot. - Yahoo Finance

People always ask me why I don't have my last name, high school/college graduation year, phone number, place of employment, or use my mother's maiden name as a test question on Facebook. Here's why - HuffPo Tech

I know this is only a concept phone but I really hope the new iPhone/iPad has something like this - YouTube

The Hunger Games will be out in 2 months. (EEEEEKKK!!!!) Rue is by far one of my favorite characters - Publishers Weekly

Shonda Rhimes BETTER NOT bring Izzy back to Grey's. If she does decide to bring her back, Shonda should a.) Kill her off in some glorious fashion that we've come to know and love from Grey's and Private Practice and b.) Bring back Isaiah Washington just to piss Heigl off. Besides, it's not looking like Christina and Owen are going to make it anyway...soooo - Just Jared

As If You Really Need to Be Convinced to Go See Red Tails This Weekend- Toya

2012-01-20T15:41:00.001-06:00

I could go into this entire spiel about how we need to go support Red Tails for very obvious reasons. One this true story about the Tuskegee Airmen needs to be remembered, respected, and told especially to the younger generation. Two, with the poor way that blacks are depicted in entertainment nowadays, we vote for what we want to see with our dollars. Three, George Lucas let it be known that Hollywood didn't want this movie to be made because they don't believe that this is what the average movie goer wants to see. Thus he foot the entire bill himself. I will admit that Red Tails isn't even my kind of movie. I'm not an avid movie goer and pretty much only do romantic comedies. But with all that being said, I will be putting my money forth for all of the aforementioned reasons and also for one big reason:

These...men...are... FOIN!!!!

And for Nate Parker we bless GOD! \o/!!!!

He is an android. That's not a real person. I won't believe it.

Not pictured but also in the film are ~~my boyfriend in my head~~ Ne-Yo and Method Man. I mean, do we really need to discuss this further?

Red Tails opens in theaters today. I look forward to discussing it with y'all next week.

Thank you Dr. King

2012-01-16T22:41:00.002-06:00

I (Tia) always get really emotional on MLK day. I'm a pretty tough chick. I will fight if I need to. I mean physically come to fist-a-cuffs if the situation need be. And I think I have a pretty thick skin. But every January on the 3rd Monday, I remember that any adversity that I've come up against in my life pales in comparison to what previous generations endured all for the simple desire to be free and treated as equals with their fellow man.

I complain if the line at Starbucks is too long. But had it not been for the civil rights movement I wouldn't even be able to walk in the door of Starbucks. Some of our parents and grandparents endured physical violence, imprisonment and even death for the right to do some of the mundane day-to-day activities that I take for granted.

My best guy friend is white. My new running buddy is Asian. The guy who will forever be the best kisser of my high school career is Hispanic. My Benetton ad list of friends is something that I hardly ever think about. It's just what it is. But when I take a moment to think about my mother who was sent to one of the first integrated high schools in Knoxville, when I think of Medger Evers shot and killed in front of his own home, when I think of Dr. King giving the almost eerily prophetic Mountaintop Speech only to be gunned down the next day, I can't help but be moved to tears. I'm so grateful for every man, woman and child, who fought, bled and died for the liberties that we have today.

My hope is that we as a people, regardless of race, continue to follow in the steps of Dr. King's dream. I pray that we all will seek to extend equality to our fellow man and to love one another as Christ instructed us to. Because love extended to your brother is what Dr King dreamed about.

I need you to calm down - Tia

2012-01-15T22:57:00.001-06:00

This post was going to be about something COMPLETELY different. But I've decided to take the high road and not talk about someone who DESERVES to be on full blast on the internet. But just know, that current happenings are such that I will probably be moving not only out of my house but out of the state. But that's another post for when I've calmed down and don't feel the need to have every other word be a curse word. So...moving on.

Unless you've been under a rock, or in space, or North Korea, or some other place with little to no internet service, then you've probably seen at least one of the Sh!t (insert race/gender/group here) Say videos. The original "Sh!t Girls Say" has over 10 million views and has spawned numerous clones. My current favorites are "Relaxed Girls Say to Natural Girls", "Mixed Kids", "Spanish Girls 1" and "Nobody." Most of "Say" videos I've seen are hilarious and play to the most skewed stereotype of the noted group.

As it is a PARODY, I found myself wondering why people were taking offense to some of the videos. It's a joke. And if you don't get it, it's probably because the joke is about you. That being said, I could not for the life of me understand why people were moving beyond moderately angry to genuinely pissed about one of the current Sh!t say videos.

From HuffPo to some random site I just happened to click on, women, both black and white, were taking offense to "Sh!T White Girls Say to Black Girls." Some called it racist and insensitive. Some called it inaccurate. There were cries of reverse racism. And people were ademently villifying, the comedian who made the video. "She's so wrong!" one post read. I counter with SHE'S SO RIGHT!

While this video in no way speaks for ALL white women, you're lying to yourself if you think that it doesn't speak for some. Not the majority by any means. But some. I can go almost line by line and remember someone saying or doing something from the video.

The following are lines pulled directly from the video and my responses and/or thoughts to them when they were said to me...YES...I have heard ALL of these at some point in my life.

- "Not to sound racist..." - usually followed by a backhanded racist comment
- "My best friend is black" - If you have to define him/her by their race, y'all probably aren't the besties you think you are.
- "Why isn't there a "White Entertainment Television" - 1. I'm pretty sure I heard this at least once a year for about 2 decades. 2. It's not as if the other 10000 stations are littered with minorities. 3. White Entertainment Television would be called W.E.T. That sounds like a porn station.
- "Is it bad to do black face?" - I remember having to explain why this was not okay to a white friend. In his defense he'd grown up his whole life not knowing ANY black people.
- "You can say the N-word but I can't...?" - I understand your confusion but no one should be using the word. PERIOD. Not me...not you. NO ONE!!!
- "OMG I'm practically black" - I spend a lot of time at the pool/beach with my white friends. I have quite literally lost count of how many times I've heard one of them say this after a day in the sun.
- Ghetto any thing...Brown skin DOES NOT EQUAL knowledge of all things ghetto. And "ghetto" behavior is not strictly a brown people thing. I know some REAL GHETTO white guys.
- "Can I touch your hair?" - Real talk, that happened to me YESTERDAY.
- "Do you know (Insert Ethnic Sounding Name Here)" - Do you know Bob White? No...okay, so you don't know everyone of your race either? Just checking.
- "Girlfriend" - STOP! No seriously, everyone REGARDLESS OF RACE stop using the word "girlfriend"...unless you're referring to the show. #bringitback
- "I don't really like rap" - Me either
- "It's almost like you're not black" - Go read this...*sigh*

I'm neither overly sensitive or overly militant. So for the most part I usually let things like the statements in the "Say" video roll right off my back. I believe that in general when things like this are said, the person saying them meant no harm. I will say that I was usually inclined to correct someone who said something like that and EXPLAIN why their statements could be construed as insensitive. While I was not offended the next person of color might not be as gracious.

I truly believe that there's something inherent in most, if not all, of us that is at the very least intrigued by things that are different from ourselves. I saw it every day in the preschoolers I used to teach. They noticed the differences in one another but didn't let what made them different separate them. So when white friends said things that noted our racial differences I always viewed them as more acknowledgement rather than insult.

So for the people who are getting completely bent out of shape over a satirical video, I invite you to calm down and take a seat. If you can't find the humor in something that has a grain of truth to it then that's your fault. No one is calling you racist. No one is saying that the video represents ALL white women. What is true for some is not true for all. Calm yourself please.

Let's Talk About It!!!! Live Commentary on The Misadventures of AWKWARD Black Girl Episode 12: The Decision

2012-01-13T11:45:00.003-06:00

*SPOILER AFTER THE JUMP*

The latest episode of ABG aired today but it wasn't without a hitch. Due to some technical issues, the show was released today after it was originally supposed to air last night. Hey, they're new at this thing. I can't be mad at them. The whole team works hard and mistakes happen. What matters is that it is available now and I definitely think that the finished product was worth the wait. So without further ado, check out my live commentary of what went down.

*If you don't want to know what happened in this episode, do not read the rest of this post! You've been warned.*

1. YES!!! It’s UP!

2. What’s up with Jay and his slicked back hair cut? His hair needs some attention.

3. I love that she ran. I feel her on that. I’ve been known to just drop and put my head between my legs trying to breathe.

4. DJ…WHISPERS. HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

5. Shoutout to my roommate Candace for getting me that Soul Glow t-shirt for Christmas.

6. Cee Cee is too calm for what just went down. If that was Tia I would’ve stopped everything

7. No FRED, not the bestie! He really doesn’t know what to do, does he?
8. What the high school 3 way is going on?!?!?!?!

9. YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH they are going on a date! I need her to still pick Jay though.

10. What just happened? Can that even happen on phones nowawadays?

11. Umm…someone just came into my office. Umm…uuuuh. Hmph.

12. Natural hair beauties stand up!

13. Oh so you get dressed for this date? She looks beautiful!!!!

14. Dates are so awkward.

15. Fred’s teeth are distracting in the best way. And his eyes…and the rest of him. Moving on.

16. BERNADETTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s our girl BERNADETTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She’s the waitress. Way to go Bern!

17. Ok this awkwardness is why she needs to pick Jay. They have no problem talking to each other.

18. Nooooooooooooo! “It’s like dating two friends at the same time. Awkward!”

19. Good call Fred on how to not make it awkward. Nice to see him taking the lead.

20. Bern’s doing so good!

21. Aaw they’re having fun!

22. I love a flashback.

23. Do not kiss Fred…do not kiss Fred…do not kiss Fred.

24. NOT THE KID N PLAY!!!! I AM GOING TO DIE!

25. Oooooooooooooooooooh not the just be friends speech. Ohmydamn.

26. This is a hurt piece right here.

27. Is this..a commercial? You know what, I need my bills paid too. I am not mad at them one bit.

28. Back to ABG: She wasted no time drawing that friendship boundary in the sand, did she?

29. Who…drew..that...picture?! I CAN’T!

30. Jay LOOKS SO GOOD in that hoodie and leather jacket. I’m just saying. I love me some B Rabbit white boy angst sometimes. It’s weird. I know.

31. STOP PLAYING WITH US!!!!

32. NOT WEIGHT WATCHERS GIRL!

33. This reminds me. I need to get back on Weight Watchers this year.

34. Jay, I like you. Soooo…oh my God I need to get out more. I’m talking to the screen to a fictional character.

35. He is so fine right now! It’s the eyes!

36. KISS HER!

37. “J, I get you” *swoon* *passes out* I don’t know if guys actually say that but every awkward girl wants to hear that. I don’t care if the guy saying it looks like Urkel.

38. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGOMG epgjaojsdvionqaeoirngioaenrganirogn!

39. OMG Really? Someone comes into my office NOW? GET OUT!!!!!!! You want a PEN?! GO AWAY!!!! *Sorry Lila*

40. Two awkward people sharing an awkward kiss is hilarious and so sweet at the exact same time.

41. Ok it IS Donald Glover and they are on an actual date. I thought their whole exchange was a dream sequence. I was about to call out sick for the rest of the day.

42. I can’t hear!!! What happened?! Everyone sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher!

43. Donald Glover’s cute. He’s really cute. I like a brotha in a cardigan.

44. Something awkward just happened between the 3 of them and I can’t hear it. CRAP!

45. Even though I can’t hear anything, J really is the worst freestyler..besides myself…of all time.

46. I was able to hear a little of it and it sounded like White Jay told Donald Glover that his whole family was talented. He thinks that Danny Glover is his father. *blank stare* You know White Jay is like that white guy that you date who knows about some really cool things but is not exactly down enough to know about some basic cool things and it's ok. Awkward at times but ok.

47. Ok seriously White Jay looks so cute right now. That’s it. I’m going on Match.com.

48. Fred is salty. Look, he hasn't had his hair cut in 2 weeks. Bounce back Fred!

49. Aaw don’t talk about the date in front of Fred. L

50. A …is…psycho.

51. Their boss looks like Animal from The Muppets. What is happening?

52. Germy Patty is terrible.

53. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t stand Amir.

54. Who is this Jesus guy?

55. WHY IS DARIUS SALTY ABOUT THE NEW BOSS TELLING PEOPLE TO SPEAK UP?!?!?! AAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh that just took me OUT of here!

56. Get you some boss lady! I aint mad at ya.

57. Umm…I don’t know how I feel about this guy Jesus “saving you from your sins” mess.

58. You can’t move Cee Cee . You cannot!

59. I am about as confused about this new Jesus character as I am about the Robert California character on The Office right now and I HATE him.

60. Well Nina can get with Fred now .*Shrug*

This entire episode went down exactly how I wanted it to. I wanted J and Fred to go on a date so she could make a wise and informed decision. Ultimately I wanted her to pick White Jay. Chemistry is a huge factor to me. I loved that was like 2 episodes in one! I loved it! I cant’wait for this to be on a network that can truly take it to the next level. Congrats ABG crew on a great episode! What did yall think?

I do not speak boy - Tia

2012-01-10T22:19:00.000-06:00

I used to pride myself on being able to easily relate to Y-chromosome carriers. They seemed to make sense to me. I have brothers. I've always kept a bestie with testes. Despite my need to be girlie in recent years, I'm still a tomboy. But despite all of that, I've recently discovered that while I may have thought I had more of an understanding of men than some girls, I still just don't understand guys.

For instance, on numerous occasions Toya and I have heard some variation of "You're too intimidating to talk to." Or "You just seem like you have everything together." Or my all time favorite in reference to Toya and I together, "You too just seemed like you were having so much fun." HUH?!?!? So you don't want to have fun and that's why you didn't approach us? Wait...WHAT???

I never understood that train of thinking. If I were guy I would be on the lookout for a girl who could hold her own against me. I'd be looking for an equal. Like Robin Thicke said on "When I Get You Alone" from his FIRST album A Beautiful World, "Baby girl you the s#!t, that makes you my equivalent." If I were looking for a partner and I saw some girl who seemed to have her situation in order and seemed fine with life and not desperate for someone to be in her life, THAT would be the girl that I would want to talk to. But more than once I've had guys explain to me that they want a project. A girl who's a mess will love you more if you come riding in on your white horse and fix her life for her. Guys like to fix things...or something like that...as I stated before...I don't know.

And then there's this...remember the guy from Match? Well, in a slightly tipsy state of false bravado I decided that I needed an answer. I wanted to know why he'd pulled a fizzle, fizzle, fade or FFF going forward. I had been through this once before with Ben Covington. Holy Blast from the past, Batman. (If you are unfamiliar with the Ben Covington story, read this and follow the other links within...or just search Ben Covington on the blog.) And even though Ben and I are friends on Facebook, I've still never gotten a reason for why he FFF out of my life the way he did. We were friends before we were anything else. And as a friend I figured I could have at the very least gotten an explanation. If you're wondering why I haven't just asked him..it was like 8 years ago. At this point it's like a cow's opinion...it's moo.

So I sent Match Boy an email. It basically just asked what happened. The response was interesting. He informed me that he'd gotten busy with finals. (He's a teacher.) And that he'd meant to call. (mm-hmm) but then he realized that he'd called last. (He hadn't) And I wasn't calling him either. (Because he wasn't calling me.) And then he started thinking about all that was wrong, "Is she not calling because she's not interested? Did I say something wrong? Is it because we live so far apart? (About 5 hours) How would this even work?" And by the time he'd rationalized calling a couple of weeks had gone by. And since I hadn't called/texted/emailed in that time either he figured the moment had passed.

Now here's the thing...I thought the EXACT same things. But I'm a GIRL. I'm a bit old fashioned and I'm not really an initiator. I will do more than my part to help sustain but I'm just not good at getting it started. So his puzzling, seemingly girl-like response threw me. I didn't understand. I was always under the impression that if a guy likes a girl he calls no matter what. I've seen He's Just Not That Into You. Confused, I consulted my bestie with testes, Blaine. He explained the male mindset in this situation and while he did not excuse Match Boy for not calling he helped me understand his rationale for not doing so. Real talk, I like this guy. He's a Christian. He's childless, gainfully employed and our shared musical taste is scary. (No seriously...it is....he called me the other night just to tell me about a song he KNEW I would love. He was right...I LOVE it and will make myself hoarse doing it during car karaoke.) Because I liked him and because he was honest, I decided to give him another shot. Something I RARELY ever do. (It didn't hurt that he said that he missed talking to me...I hate being a girl sometimes.)

Fast forward to the present and we've talked/texted/emailed pretty consistently. He's fun and safe because I have my life and he has his. But I'm not crazy and I'd like for the two worlds to actually meet at some point. So the other night in another rare but this time non-intoxicated state of bravado, I informed him, "You need to come here." Now before you gasp in horror, his best friend and his wife live here. So he wouldn't solely be coming to see me. He replied, "I do need to come see you so we can hang out. And if you can stand me, I'll also introduce you to my best friend and his wife" He then proceeded to make NO plans or even vague suggestions to come to my neck of the woods. Now, going back to He's Just Not That Into You and men in general, if a guy wants to be around you...well...he'll be around you. So while he answered in the affirmative to my request that we at the very least need to be in the same area code at some point he made no move to rectify the situation. I followed up with Blaine and he told me I need to either throw the gauntlet down and suggest a time frame or cut my losses and move on as he's probably never going to get his a$$ off his shoulders. (Insert heavy sigh here)

I do not understand. You tell me I'm pretty. You randomly call me to tell me about songs that remind you of me. More than once you've told me I'm amazing. But you can't commit to a weekend? That's it. I give up. I fear I will never fully understand. (Insert another heavy sigh here)

If Match Boy decides to make an effort then good on him. But as it stands I am knee deep in quest for BAMFness. I have been diligently working on my Spanish. "El niño corre" (The male child runs) I think I may have a travel buddy to Italy in the spring. And I went to a boxing class last Saturday that handed me my...everything. It's Tuesday and I'm still a bit sore. So I'm working on my fitness, my health, my every thing. So while I may like a boy, I can't stop my life for a boy's indecision. Get at me now or forever wish you had. As Toya and I always say, "See me now or see me later...but you're gonna see me."

Laters BGLU!

Fun Music Fridays: N'Sync - GIrlfriend ft Nelly

2012-01-06T21:14:00.000-06:00

I need answers to the following things:
1. Why is JC not my boyfriend?
2. Why is JC tripping and not putting out music?
3. Where is Nelly these days?
4. Was Joey's "girlfriend" brown?
5. Would anyone be mad if Justin put out another album? Preferably with a guest spot by Jimmy Fallon?
6. Does anyone have JC's number for me?

And lest you forget that JC Chasez could sing circles around JT any day....

BGLU Beauty News: Get Your Brows on Point with Nitraab

2012-01-06T08:00:00.000-06:00

For the past few years I have worn relatively natural looking makeup but recently I decided that I wanted to create a more polished stepped up look for 2012. Youtube has been invaluable when it comes to helping me on my recent natural hair journey so I turned to Youtube again to help me with my cosmetic journey. Enter Youtube Vlogger nitraab.

When I tell you I adore this little bubbly southern belle? A bonafide girly girl, Nitraab's videos have a wealth of info about everything from makeup and eyelashes to weaves and clothing. She's fun to watch and I find her basic tutorials pretty easy to learn from. She also has some pretty advanced looks but she's easy to follow. You just have to remember that practice makes perfect.

The above video contains basic instructions on how to enhance your brows using pretty inexpensive products and brushes. I've watched this video several times and even took to a downtown MAC store to get an in person lesson to make sure what I was doing was right. Here is my progress so far (I'm on the right):

I'm still working on my basic makeup looks but so far so good I think. Do you have any fashion or beauty changes you are looking to make in 2012?

You Should Know: Friendly Fires - Tia

2012-01-05T00:38:00.000-06:00

I know I have said it a million times before, but I need to live in the UK. They have the best accents, some brutally hot men and the music is killer. The only reason I don't live there is because of the weather. But I may have to just invest in one of those sun lamps and get over there if for no other reason than to discover more bands like Friendly Fires and actually be able to see them in concert. (If any of our British male readers want to get married so that I can have citizenship, feel free to shoot me an email.)

I got the following text yesterday from my musical soulmate Brandon regarding FF, "It's like George Michael and Duran Duran had band of British babies who love Prince." I was SO sold. I popped right on over to Youtube to look for a single and found "Hurting." I looked down at the timer...it had taken me 41 seconds to fall in love with this band.

Wait...New Wave, Angsty White Boy, British music????? Yes Please!! This music is so fun. It's infectious and clever. The kind of songs you just lose yourself in and dance til you can't dance anymore. Their current album Pala makes me wish it was summer and I was in LA. I would just drive up and down the PCH blasting this album on repeat.

But lest your dance yourself into a frenzy, FF was kind enough to throw in the body roll worthy track "Pala" and the "You can't help but feel sexy and dance kind of slow with a drink in your hand" track "Helpless." (Oh, am I the only one who feels like that when I listen to that song...just me? Okay.)

Friendly Fires is the kind of band that I like. They make the kind of music that makes you feel something beyond the 3:30 minutes the song is playing. I found myself wanting to listen and really hear. Yeah, the songs are dance worthy. But they're also worth listening to. These days it feels like a lot of songs are one or the other.

I love the flow and tempo of the album as a whole. "True Love" is so Prince influenced I can barely stand it. And any band who honors His Royal Badness can run through my playlist any day. Overall, Pala is more than just worth a listen. If you grew up in the 80s (there is something so New Wave throwback about this album) or if you just like good music, you're going to want to add this to your library. I will definitely be keeping an eye out for these guys this year. With bands like Foster the People getting mainstream shine, my hope is that the labels will recognize that people want to hear something other that Gaga (WACK!!) and lame pseudo-dubstep on the radio. I need good music like the Friendly Fires are making to survive. I need the art form to not be reduced to a few million dollar artists who move units but sound suspiciously similar. God save The Queen and us from crappy repetitive music.

Now run along to Spotify and listen to Friendly Fires.

Confessions of a (former) non-runner - Tia

2012-01-04T08:30:00.000-06:00

I've never been much of a runner. I think the reason I never really excelled at basketball even though I played for years was because I hated all of the conditioning. All of the running back and forth and the suicides...my Lord...the suicides (the one and only time I was ever so physically exerted to the point of throwing up was during suicide drills in junior high.) I just didn't like running. I ran track for a while because it was expected of me. And even though I didn't like it, I was fairly quick during sprints even though I was not gazelle lithe like a lot of the other girls. My legs were thick and strong...and fast...for short distances.

I remember laughing at the cross country kids. They always had to run FOREVER regardless of the weather. Basketball practice would have long since ended and I would still see the CC kids trudging through the hills just beyond the school grounds. As my bus pulled away I would think to myself, "SUCKERS."

I eventually switched to swimming because there was far less running involved. I would swim for hours every day and never get tired of it. And since there was no running involved (for the most part) I put my heart into and did well.

Fast forward a couple of decades and I find myself at a desk job with long hours and a heavy traveling per diem. LONG gone are the days of eating whole pizzas after practice. The reality of lifestyle, age and a slightly slower metabolism necessitate that I work out or be a Jabba.

Now while I have been intermittently active most of my adult life, I've come to the realization in the last several months that to get/be/stay in the shape I want I'm going to have to put in work and put in work CONSISTENTLY. And since I don't have the time or resources to swim on the regular (black girl hair) I have to do what works. And as much as I hate to admit it, running works miracles on my body.

So a few months ago I decided to try doing a couch to 5K program. It was an easy way to transition into running. Initially, I hated it. "Why am I running? No one is chasing me?" But the more I did it, the more my competitive nature kicked in. I wanted to beat my last time. I wanted to run harder. I wanted to keep going. Wait...am I starting to *gasp* like running? What is happening? I remember texting my bestie with testes, Blaine, and admitting that I might have a problem. I was buying running magazines and looking at those GPS bracelets and thinking about the next time I could run. I was getting faster during my running intervals and my walking intervals were getting shorter...I was becoming a runner.

I almost cried the day the doctor told me that I had a mild stress fracture. I'd been having some pain but I'd pushed through it. But the pain was getting worse and I couldn't ignore it. He told me that I would have to do low impact workouts for the next month and a half. DUDE I'VE ONLY BEEN RUNNING FOR 2 MONTHS!!!! But my choices were stay off of it or be in one of those air casts. FINE!!!

My inner runner that I never knew existed up until a few months ago is chomping at the bit to get moving again. Who is this person? What happened to me? I'm already eyeing upcoming 5Ks and fully intend on participating in the Disneyland half marathon in September. (I have to scratch half marathon off of my bucket list.)

I signed up for 5K training with a friend this evening. The trainer had me amped up until he said, with excitement and enthusiasm mind you, "And we run in the rain, cold and wind!!" Insert Scooby Doo face here.

Excuse me...outside...in the elements...And at SEVEN AM on Saturdays to boot. I don't know why it never occurred to me that I would running outside. Is there a "black girl hair" make-up day? Because I don't care how excited I am about running, I am NOT running in the rain. Forget all of that.

But if I'm being super honest, I am excited about the challenge of running outside. Regardless of how I may see myself, I can't deny my inner competitive nature. It wants to know if I can really do this. It wants to succeed. Nike co-founder Bill Bowerman once said, "If you have a body, you are an athlete." Apparently my inner athlete is a runner. Who would have known that after avoiding running other than to obtain safety, I would be the girl who is longing to strap on my New Balance sneakers and pound the pavement just because...Yeah, I didn't see that coming.

Tia's Best of 2011

2012-01-03T00:01:00.000-06:00

I know most people do their best of, year end stuff...well...at the end of the year. But I have been procrastinating and traveling between parents for the last two weeks, so two days into the new year is when you get a list of random things from 2011.

Best New Music: BRKN RBTZ

I feel like the music industry is trying to make it hard for real music lovers to like music. A lot of the stuff that I hear on the radio just hurts my soul. I often find myself wondering, "Who thought this song was going to be a good idea?" So I'm sure my disdain with most of 2011 radio is what made me love BRKN RBTZ instantly. Well, my disdain and the fact that they are AWESOMESAUCE!

I completely fell in love with these boys from the first song and have never looked back. Between their harmonies and their songwriting I can't help be hope that 2012 brings a full album of BRKN RBTZ songs and nationwide tour. Who do I need to talk to about that?

Oh and if I ever get married, I fully intend to dance to this at my wedding.

Best Album: 21

*sigh* This broad...I really can't deal with this chick. So...so...so...you're just gonna be gorgeous AND write the most beautifully tragic break-up album of all time? You're just going to put "Someone Like You" out there so that all of us can cry along with you? How am I NOT supposed to play "Turning Tables" when dealing with some flaky man? And did you mean for me to do the gospel double clap EVERY time I listen to "One and Only"?

I can't with this broad. I really can't. 21 took me through all kinds of changes this year. I could not stop listening to it. And just when I was close to taking the CD out of my car Live At The Albert Hall came out. So I've basically been listening to Adele at least once a week since February.

If you don't already have it (what is wrong with you?) you need to go out and immediately purchase Live At The Royal Albert Hall. I promise you will not be disappointed. Adele is funny, heart-warming and heartbreaking throughout the entire concert. I found myself laughing hysterically at some of her profanity laced stories only to later find myself crying with her at the overwhelming response she gets from the crowd during "Someone Like You." I may or may not have watched it 3 times in one week.

Favorite New To Me T.V. Show: Battlestar Galactica

If you have been reading this blog for any amount of time you know that I am a complete nerd. That being said, I'm not sure how I missed B.G. during it's original airing. This show is all that I believe in: Sci-Fi, robots, space travel, hot men, strong BAMF (Google the acronym if you need to..sorry if the language offends you) women and a British guy. (Actually two because the guy who plays Apollo, Jamie Bamber, is English in real life but not on the show.) I think because I had no interest in the original series I figured I would feel the same about the reboot. I could not have been more wrong. I have been watching episodes on Netflix every day for about 3 weeks. This was just the show I needed to end 2011. I have watched this show so much that the other day when some woman cut me off and I thought, "Are you fraking kidding me?"I realized that I may need to ease up on the B.G. viewings just a bit.

Favorite USA!USA!USA!moment

I must confess I don't watch fútbol (aka soccer) nearly as much as I should as a professed Anglophile. But when I do take the time to watch a match I usually love it.

This summer I made every effort to watch the women's world cup. I really wanted our team to win. And while I was disappointed that Japan ultimately took the title, I was really proud of the way our women's team played. And the come from behind victory against Brazil had me screaming my head off. I love sports in general. But I love them even more when there's a little home country glory mixed in. USA! USA! USA!

Favorite New Hobby: Guns

One of my goals in 2012 is to be sexy bad-a$$ (sorry if the language offends.) Despite the stress fracture in my left ankle from running too much, I fully intent to resume running as soon as I'm healed and work on getting my physique in order on my way to overall BAMF-ness. I'm even taking up boxing this weekend in my quest to be the black Lara Croft.

So you can imagine my joy when I finally got to shoot guns this year and not only found that I liked it but that I was good at it. I will be investing in my own firearm sometime in the coming weeks. And thanks to the best bestie in the world, I will have a place to practice my marksmanship. Look out world.

Seriously, don't I look AWESOME holding that gun?

Best AHAHAHAHA moment: Dallas Winning the NBA Finals

I am so glad Dallas won the 2011 NBA finals. The Heat didn't deserve to win. After that spectacle they put on "Not 1, Not 2, Not 3" they deserved to go home empty handed and salty. What's that one scripture about pride coming before destruction? I didn't make that up...that's biblical.

Best "Wait just a minute!!" Moment

I have said many a-times that I better never catch Trudy Styler slipping. Sting is one of those men that I would snatch up quick, fast and in a hurry. Even at 60 he could holla at me. It takes a lot for me to ignore Sting. But ignore him I did as I watched this clip.

Wait...is that Robert Downy Jr...singing? Wait a minute....what is happening? CHILDREN, I WENT IN!!! RDJ has always been fine. But after watching this, I realized that he needed to be added to the list of "could holla no matter what." It's the combination of sexy and nonchalance with the hands in his pocket that gets me. One of my friends said, "He kept his hands in his pockets as if to say, 'Yes...I do this too.'" YES SIR!! And 1:28 had me feeling some kind of way. That little man...he...I...we....Jesus be a fence.

Finest Man of 2011: Idris Elba

Between Thor, BBC America's airing of series 2 of Luther and his appearance on the ~~EBT~~ BET awards, Idris Elba was all over the place. And my soul rejoices because if it. That man is ignorantly fine. If I move back to Atlanta it's going to be my mission to meet him at least once. (He's in town a lot because his daughter and ex-wife live there.) It will probably only be once because I already know that I will probably act all kinds of ignorant when I see him. And I'm okay with that. I know my weaknesses and this man is one of them. So when you're reading about some girl who ran up on Idris Elba at Atlantic Station and jumped on his back while screaming his name, just know that that was me.

That's it for now. I have to go back to work tomorrow so I will bid you goodnight and happy 2012.

Top 4 Girl Crushes of 2011 - Tia

2011-12-29T18:37:00.000-06:00

I am not ashamed to have a girl crush. I think girls are way awesomer (yes, awesomer) than boys. So I usually keep a rotating line-up of girl crushes. The following are the ladies who made the top four of the year.

4. Angie Harmon

I will forgive Angie Harmon for backing John McCain during the 2008 elections. No one is perfect. She more than makes up for it by playing a BAMF on Rizzoli and Isles, a show that I just discovered this year. Plus she's a good old fashioned, Southern, praying mama. Angie may have some questionable political leanings but I still think she and her raspy voice are awesomesauce.

3. Kat Dennings

I know...I'm so late to the party with Kat Dennings. Apparently, she has been a favorite of fan boys for just short of forever. I've seen some of her movies and thought she was funny. But she didn't make it to the girl crush list until I started watching 2 Broke Girls. I love how much her character hates hipsters. (I, too, hate hipsters.) But her overall snarkiness is what keeps me watching the show. And I don't think she's faking it either. Honestly, you can't fake that kind of snark.

2. Mindy Kaling

Not even gonna front. Until I read her book, I had NO shine for Mindy Kaling. I just assumed that the reason she played Kelly Kapoor so well is because that's how she was in real life. And Kelly Kapoor is the kind of girl who gets on each and every last one of my nerves. You laugh at her because she's funny. But you can't stand her because she's obnoxious.

I ended up picking up her book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) after I read a brief snippet about it in Entertainment Weekly and couldn't stop laughing. I figured if a 10 line write up could send me into hysterics then the book was going to be epic. I literally bought the last copy Barnes and Noble had. (That's always a good sign.) I spent the next week reading it during my plane rides and layovers. I can't tell you how many side eyes and worried looks I got from people because I would just randomly burst into mildly hysterical laughter. (The worried looks were from people who thought I was crazy and were hoping against hope that I wasn't about to do something insane.)

Once I finished the book I wanted to be Mindy's friend in real life. She seems like the kind of girl who wouldn't judge you for saying that not all babies are cute. And she would go shot for shot with you in regards to who could tell the most embarrassing stories. In short, I want her to be my home girl in real life. (I need to figure out how to make that happen.)

1. Paula Patton

*sigh* My crush on Paula Patton is ridiculous. I mean it is unyielding. Some days I want to be her because she seems like so much fun and she's so pretty. And other days I want her to be my 2nd bestie. (C'mon y'all...Toya is now and forever the 1st bestie...I don't care who comes along.) I once read an article where one of her co-stars (I think it was Andre 3000) said that she's not only sweet but helpful. He said something to the effect of "Pretty girls like her aren't usually helpful." Okay, so let me get this straight, she's crazy hot (her husband, Robin Thicke, put her on the cover of his FIRST (yes FIRST! do your research!) album)

she's nice to her co-workers and she's helpful when she really doesn't have to be. Yep....I need to be her friend.

Robin Thicke's new album accomplished two things: 1. It made me like a whole album of his for the first time since A Beautiful World and 2. after listening to the commentary for Love After War on Spotify it made me realize how much he loves his wife for being so ride-or-die and I love a woman who stands by her man. So she just added yet another favorable trait to her already long list of endearing, redeeming qualities. It's official, I love her. She is my ultimate girl-crush. I want to be her friend so badly. If I ever get the chance to meet her I can't promise I won't act a complete fool. Seriously, it probably won't be pretty.

Home- Toya

2011-12-23T14:12:00.001-06:00

"No Toya, you don't know them."

That's what I had to tell myself while I was sitting at in a South Philly coffee shop today. I just kept looking over at the door hoping to see someone I know. It's the second day of my two week vacation and I must say that I miss Nashville terribly. I mean, TERRIBLY. I just don't know too many people here anymore. I miss going somewhere and seeing familiar faces. I miss my friends. The only thing I am loving about Philly right now is that I can do all the walking I want to do.

Side bar: Am I the only one who when they haven't exercised in a long time gets itchy legs? I have been walking city blocks for hours and mid-way through I wanted to go into a scratching frenzy but was afraid that I would fall to the ground and roll myself into traffic.

Anyway, I am sure everyone here is very nice but I don't like any of these people in here. Ok that's not true. I don't know anyone in here. Everyone I have interacted with has been quite nice (take that southerners who think us northerners are all mean). But man. I really hate it here today and I want to go home. And that home for me is Nashville.

I am sure this puts some cold water on my hopes of eventually doing some travel writing. I kept trying to take pictures with my new camera but I was so annoyed half of the time. I tried to go to new places that I found suggested through Yelp and Foursquare but I eventually wound up back at my old hang spot, South Street. Still, it has been no fun today. Maybe it's because it hasn't really been busy down here. I mean I did get started rather early today and some people are still at work. I'm usually elated to come down here but not today. Today I miss my home and today I can fully admit that my home is Nashville.

I have never been so happy to be around my parents in my life though. I am sure I would be much happier today just hanging out with them. Yesterday I helped my mom cater at my home church's Christmas party. It was fantastic seeing so many women that I grew up knowing. After that my dad and I watched Chopped for a few hours. He's not a fan but when I am home my dad will watch anything I want to just to spend time with me. I miss that. But honestly, I think being around my family and walking city blocks are the only things about being back home that I miss.

My plan today was to go and sit and write but it's been so long that I've been in a big city that I chose to just walk most of the day. I'm thinking about venturing into University City soon because I said that I would go somewhere new. Might as well. I have two long weeks here to fill. Gratefully, I must add, but two long weeks nevertheless.

Le Sigh - Tia

2011-12-16T00:53:00.000-06:00

I joined Match.com a few weeks ago. (I have since suspended my account...Yes...already.) Being the age that I am, being single bothers me more than I would care to express for fear of being labeled a wimp or being labeled stupid for being “obsessed with being single.” And since my job does not often afford me the luxury of time, I figured I would give it a shot.

After several weeks on the site I learned a few things:

You must be completely honest – Lying on Match defeats the purpose. If you post old pictures the person is going to be disappointed that you lied and probably not want to date you further because you’re a liar. (At least that's how I would feel.) So just put it all out there. Be brutally honest. It helps weed the herd.
It’s easy to know who’s worth you time – I could always tell the guys who just looked at the pictures as opposed to reading my whole profile. The former were easy to spot because the only thing we’d have in common was that we were both looking for humans to date. The guys who were worth responding to made an effort to point out things from my profile in their emails to me. That was always nice.
There will be creeps – I got the following email TWICE from one guy, “Would you ever date someone who wanted to be dominated in wild ways?” “Dear Sir, BYE!!!!” *clicks on the block user button* There will be guys who are trying to work out some weird black girl fantasy (or whatever fantasy that is associated with your race.) They are easy to block. Use the block feature liberally and often.

But the most important thing that I learned was that for all of my posturing, I want to be wanted. I did connect with one guy. He was nice, a Christian, no kids, gainfully employed and our shared musical taste was scary. After a few weeks of emailing he called and we played musically Jeopardy for 3 hours during our first phone call. While I found myself very much liking him, something in me wouldn’t let myself just go HAM in the feelings department. That turned out to be a good thing.

I have no idea what happened but the guy pulled what I like to call a “Fizzle, fizzle, fade.” It’s what happens when two people are really getting on like a house on fire and then one of them decides it’s not working and rather than just say so, they stop calling, emailing, texting. Whatever the “relationship” was just fizzles and fades and then the person is gone leaving the faded on person wondering, “WHAT HAPPENED?!?”

I don’t have the time or energy to dissect the last conversation that we had to try to figure what, if anything, I may have said to turn a guy who was calling once and day and texting several times a day to just disappear. But I would be lying if I said that my ego wasn’t a little bit bruised. It was nice to be wanted. It is not often that I find men who are interested in me. Not my looks. Not my paycheck (which is not enough to be interested in.) But just me...Just Tia. So to come across a cute one, who shared my musical taste and most importantly my religious beliefs was...well, it was fun and nice. Those few weeks made me remember what it was like to be in the early stages of being pursued. The anticipation of every text. The easy conversations. The hope. However brief, I did enjoy it.

I can't say that I'm all that optimistic at the moment. The whole thing was a bit of a last straw for me. At least for the time being. But I will say that getting my little feelings hurt did shake some things up in side of me. It made me realize that maybe a relationship just isn't in the cards for me. (Not trying to be depressing or self loathing or anything...it's just where my head's at at the moment.) Getting one's ego busted does something to you. At least it did for me. It shifted my focus and made me realize that there are a lot of things that I still want to do. There are things that I need to make more of a priority and this last episode moved "getting into a relationship" to the bottom of the list. *coughoffthelistforthetimebeingcough* So for now I've decided to work on Tia. I've decided to start doing the things I want to do (FINALLY learning Spanish properly), work on the things that matter (like my walk with Christ), crossing stuff off of my bucket list (travel, training for a half marathon, etc), and moving on to the next phase of my life.

Getting blown off made me prioritize the desires in my life. It hurt. I've dealt with it. (Although Adele's One and Only is still taking me through some changes) And now it's time to put on my big girl pants and keep it moving. So I've decided 2012 will be the year of the Grown Woman. It is time to put away childish things and behaviors and be about my business. I plan to travel. I plan to run. I play to eat great food with interesting people. I may even finally bite the bullet and buy some real estate. And if while I'm making moves love comes along, well....good on it. But it will definitely have to catch me. No more sitting on the sidelines waiting for life to happen.

One last thing: I do have to thank dude from Match for introducing me to my song of the moment. If it hadn't been for him I may have never heard this.

Song of the moment - Tia

2011-12-16T00:51:00.000-06:00

I can't thank the dude from Match for much more than a busted ego. But I can thank him for adding this song to my collection.

I don't know how I missed this one. This was right up my alley. I was a slow jams junkie in high school. I once had a friend's boyfriend come up to me and thank me for a mix of slow jams I played. This would have been everything that I believed in back then and then some. So I'm not sure how this one got missed. But I'm so glad I know it now. I have played it every day since Thanksgiving. There were a few days when I just put it on repeat and let it run.

I love a good slow jam. Especially one that will make you bodyroll no matter where you are or what you're doing. I had my iPod on shuffle while I was doing dishes the other day and this came on. Bodyroll. I was in the car driving to Kentucky listening to my "Recently Added" Playlist and it came on. Bodyroll. Sitting at my desk working on reports...you get the idea.

Dude from Match is a footnote. This song is from now on.

Be Inspired- Toya

2011-12-15T13:35:00.000-06:00

I still can't believe he's gone. :(

When my phone rang and I saw that it was my big brother (in my heart) Free, I got super excited. For one, he's hilarious. Seriously his comedic phrasing is something else. He's a big dude too, no joke. Kind of like an east coast Suge Knight with a huge heart of gold. Not that Mr. Suge Knight doesn't have a heart of gold or anything. You didn't hear me say that. Moving on.

"Free, how are you?" I answered excitedly. "I'm at (insert industry party here) with an open bar. I'm good, Ma." he said with his Bronx accent. He went on to ask me how I've been. I told him that I was doing okay. Now in my last post I was feeling terrible about turning 37 in a few weeks but in the few seconds of talking to him my mood changed completely. To catch him up I basically told him that it has been hard pulling the creativity out of me because I am so used to helping other people with theirs. I'm not used to being the "artist". The writer. The creative one in front. It's a really weird feeling. It was even weird for me to just type that.

"I"m a creative person." I told him. "Yes you are" he agreed. "It's taken me a long time to be able to say that. I think it's been difficult for me to comfortably live in that space." "You need to come up here and be with some people moving faster than you for a little while. I'm going to take you out. It'll be good for you." He is so right! I am long overdue for some out of town inspiration. I love Nashville and my heart is here completely but I need to walk around Harlem for a little bit. I need to soak up the Village. I need to be a part of a faster pace. I can use a boost of inspiration but it can't stop there.

It is up to me to consistently be inspired and motivated. As an extrovert I draw on the energy of others and my surroundings. If I have to buckle down and write a few pieces, it is almost impossible for me to do it all while alone. I almost always wind up at Starbucks just to get myself started. I can't even begin a cleaning project unless I either have the right kind of music playing or I have the right kind of TV show on. I have to be inspired to do everything. Part of the responsibility of being a creative person is to maintain your own inspiration. If you don't feel like it, you have to get to feeling like it. I haven't done well with that in the past but I am getting better. Here are 5 things that are inspiring me as of late:

1. Tumblr: Some of the fashion and photography on Tumblr gives me life! People are so creative on there! You have to be really careful though. I now know things about Amber Rose that I never ever wanted to know. By the way my Tumblr site is http://www.toyaisrandom.tumblr.com/

2. The color yellow: I've been drawn to yellow lately. My screen saver is yellow. Sometimes I just stare at a sheet of yellow Post It paper. It gets me going for me for some reason. I read this article about aura colors and the one for yellow pretty much describes me to a tee.

3. My current Robin Thicke playlist simply entitled "37": Robin Thicke is my new musical evangelist. Pastor Thicke has been ministering to me ever since Love After War dropped last week. "Never Give Up" gets played at least 10 times every morning and by the time I'm convinced to keep going, "New Generation" kicks in and inspires me to just be a better human being. Also on my playlist are "Ask Myself", "Can You Believe", and "Full Time Believer". Great songs.

4. Thrift store shopping: It is because of Tumblr that my room currently looks like a thrift store exploded. I find thrifting to be relaxing. I have had so much fun finding treasures at thrift stores to put together cool outfits. I just started thrifting and I am hooked! Also I am a blazer junkie.

I am fully aware that this looks like something Mr. Furley from Three's Company would wear but I don't care. I love it.

5. Reminding myself that it's not up to me be great: I recently started attending a bible study on Tuesday nights and one of the worship songs we were singing kept talking about how great God is. I don't think I've ever read in the bible where God commands us to be great. You know like "And thou must be great!"? I could totally be wrong here but I know it talks about being faithful, holy, loving, kind and some other things. It even says that when He made man that He said man was good. He didn't even say THAT was great. I started thinking about if I gave myself a break and stopped worrying about being great how that would allow me to create without fear. So many times I have randomly written something thinking it was going to be one thing and it turned into something else. Then we get a comment or an email from someone saying that it was what they needed to hear at that very moment. I didn't do that. I didn't even set out to do that. If I did it wouldn't be genuine and I would drive myself crazy trying to write something deep. I will work on letting God be great and in the meanwhile I will try my best to at the very least be consistent. I think He can work with that.

What are some of the things that inspire you?

Countdown Part 1: The Severity of 37- Toya

2011-12-14T15:45:00.000-06:00

This morning it hit me that (Lord willing) I will be 37 years old in less than two weeks. THIRTY. SEVEN.

If you say the word "seven" out loud a few times you will start to realize how close that word sounds to the word "severe".

THIRTY SEVEN.

And I freaked out. I mean, how long can I take a bathroom break curled up next to the sink before someone knocks on the door thinking I've drowned, freaked out. Now normally my freak outs concerning my birthday come in September around the time the season starts to change. I'm used to that. But today was a special kind of freak out. Because 37 is close to 40. Much closer than it is to 30. And I swear no one else in the world is 37. Tia and I have had numerous conversations about how that number is just...odd.

"Thirty seven just sounds so harsh don't you think?" I asked Tia while preparing for Thanksgiving. "You can't even divide it by anything! That's how alone it is." "Thirty seven is only divisible by thirty seven." she laughed. "Actually it can only be divided by itself and one." 37 and 1. That could depress the hell out of you if you thought about it long enough.

I'm not tripping out about being thirty seven and single because I have always been of the mindset that as for me, until I am fully immersed in fulfilling my purpose and pursuing my passions consistently, a relationship right now would only be a distraction. I'm cool with that. What I am not cool with is that I can look back on this past year and see how I have talked myself out of numerous ventures time and time again because of fear. Fear can punk you in numerous ways. One of those ways is when we consistently talk ourselves out of things, don't put a deadline on great ideas and pull out a bunch of excuses to put things to the side like we have all of the time in the world. I look back at some of things I ~~wished~~ planned to do and think "Did you not realize that you'd be turning 37 this year?" I realize that dragging my feet has a lot to do with the fear of the unknown. You can't live life that way.

I didn't realize that it was fear holding me back until someone got in my face about last week. Literally. They asked what I was working on and I told them a few ideas. "So what's keeping you from doing that?" I didn't really have a legitimate answer. I guess to me I just fell out of love with some of these ideas and put no urgency on them. And then they let me have it.

"You are so f***ing dope but so f***ing wack at the exact same time!"

Sometimes people just have to put it where you live.

They went on to list all of these things about me that made me so...umm...dope and then explained that I was wack for not doing them yet. "What do you need?" they asked me. "Well I would need this and this."' "I can help you with that" they told me. "Now what else." They took away all of my excuses and when it came down to it, the only thing holding me back was myself.

So what am I doing about it? I have reached back out to the people that have offered to help me so I am not in this same state on December 14, 2012 freaking out about being two years from 40. I have also promised myself that after I have this pity party of remorse today that I am just going to do everything afraid. I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect or great at things that I don't give myself the time I need to just improve over time. You have to respect the process and you don't respect the process when you stop the process.

Coming Soon: Countdown Part 2- I Can Still Be Cool, Can't I?

Confessions Of A Road Warrior - Tia

2011-12-08T22:10:00.001-06:00

Warning - This story is about vomit. If you are easily grossed out, you should go read something...anything else.

I call this one: Why I Don't Eat at Subway Anymore

Remember that time I went full Linda Blair on a plane

So I’m not much of a puker. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve thrown up since I was about 8 years old and would still have fingers left over. To me, vomiting is one of the most traumatic things that your body can inflict on you. You have no control over it. And what are things from the inside of your body doing on the outside? It’s gross and I don’t like it and I certainly don’t understand people who do it for weight control. If that’s my only option I’ll just stay in my big girl jeans.

As one who does not puke often I’m unfamiliar with the pre-puking warning signs. The sweating. The off feeling in your stomach that you can’t really clarify. The dizziness. But I should have known something was wrong when all of those things ran up on me as I sat in the Houston airport. But I’m a trooper. I’m a flyer. I’m a ROAD WARRIOR! We don’t let little things like feeling sick keep up from making it to our destination. Sickness is for wimps. (Hindsight just backhanded me across the jaw.)

It had been a long weekend. My brother had graduated from college and I’d spent the better part of 4 days with both of my parents (eek!) and my brother in the Hell-like Houston heat. I was tired and just wanted to go home and sleep in my own bed. So as I sat in the terminal I could almost see the finish line. A short hour and 30 minute flight and I would be home and able to curl up in my pink jersey knit sheets.

In an effort to expedite my pilgrimage to my bed, I decided to grab dinner at the Subway in the terminal. I figured I would get a ham and turkey sub, stave off the hunger and make it home full so I wouldn’t have to do anything when I walked in the door except get into my PJs and go to sleep.

I sat chatting with my dad as I finished my sub. Everything seemed fine. He left to catch his flight and I settled in to wait for my flight. No worries, no concerns, just the thought of a queen sized bed with my name on it.

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Was that my stomach???? No way. No human organ could make a sound like that. Must have been my imagination. Why is so hot in here all of a sudden? Is the terminal spinning? I must be really tired. I can’t wait to get on the plane and take a nap. Just to be safe better go splash some water on my face in the bathroom before I board. Because, you know…that’ll help.

I made my way to line up for the flight. I was A8 or something like that so I was one of the first people on the plane. Once I boarded and got settled I walked to back galley and asked the very sweet flight attendant for a club soda. I told him I wasn’t feeling well and I needed something to settle my stomach. He assured me that it was fine and that even if I did puke it wouldn’t be the first time that week he’d seen and had to clean up puke. But at that point I was still in denial that I was THAT SICK. There was no way that I was going to throw up…on a plane. I’m not girl. I made my way back to my seat in the middle of the plane and put my head between my knees expecting the nausea to pass. I realized about 10 seconds too late that not only was it not going to pass but I was about to recreated that scene from The Exorcist with shocking similarity.

The plane of was pretty full at this point. People in the aisles trying to load the carry-ons, dawdling waiting to sit down, basically creating a human obstacle course for me to traverse to get to the get to the rear lavatory. I did not care about anything other than getting to the bathroom. Hand over my mouth I start Heismaning my way down the aisle. (For those unfamiliar with the Heisman Trophy.) A lady I shoved turned around with an attitude presumably to yell at me until she realized that this was an emergency and yelling at me would only result in her delaying me in getting to the bathroom and probably end with her being covered in vomit. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her vault into the nearest seat to get out of my way. Good choice, lady…good choice.

I made it to the back galley in just enough time literally puke everything I’ve ever eaten EVER onto the floor. I tried to mumble an apology to the flight attendant but the effort proved to be futile because apparently my stomach wasn’t done. I walked into the tiny bathroom, fell to my knees and puked for a good 10 minutes. Absolutely NOT an exaggeration. I began to cry because I honestly thought I was going to die. It wouldn’t stop. All I could think was, “THIS is how I’m going to die. ON A PLANE!!! NO WAY!!!!”

After what seemed like an eternity my body finally just gave up. I figured it was trying to figure out a way to get me to puke up my pancreas or something and that’s why everything was on pause. My body was just trying to work out the logistics of getting my internal organs out of me through my mouth.

I had puke in my hair, on my shirt, in my shoes. It was EVERYWHERE! I started crying again because I was sooooo disgusted. The flight attendant knocked on the door and told me that it was going to be okay and that he’d seen people be sicker than I’d been. LIAR!!!!

I waited as the HAZMAT team came and began powerwashing the floor outside the bathroom. Mortified doesn’t begin to cover how I felt. As I sat there trying to figure out if I could deploy the escape slide and run away, the pilot came over the loudspeaker to inform the COMPLETLEY FULL flight that the reason the flight hasn’t left was because there was a sick passenger on the flight. Thanks! Just when I didn’t think it couldn’t get any worse, it did. Oh, then it got worser. Yes…WORSER!! The next knock on the door a few minutes later was the pilot himself. He explained that because of how sick I’d been they weren’t allowed to let me fly. I. WANTED. TO. DIE!!!!!!!!!! While I completely understood the rationale behind not letting an ill person fly, the fact that the pilot himself had to tell me to basically, “Get off my plane” (In my head that last sentence is said like Harrison Ford from Air Force One) was the equivalent of DEFCON 1 embarrassment. At least I thought it was until I realized that I had to walk off of the place, IN FRONT OF EVERYONE…WITH PUKE IN MY HAIR. I had never in my life prayed so fervently for Jesus to crack the sky and make his glorious return.

With as much dignity as a person who smells like vomit can muster, I gathered my things and walked off of the plane. The flight attendant came out with me and tried his very best to comfort me. This is why I fly Southwest. Their flight attendants either really care or are really great actors. Either way…they rock. The gate agents heard what happened and went into overdrive to get me rebooked. Again, WAY TO GO SOUTHWEST. And after one last assurance the flight attendant got back on the plane and everyone was on their way…Everyone but me.

The next flight out was not until the next morning. Awesome! I called my mother and told her that I was coming back home. Covered in puke, stomach sore, and reeking of embarrassment (among other things), I drove to Target to get new clothes (my checked bag never made it off of the plane.), went to my mom’s, showered and went to bed. When I woke up the next morning all I could do was moan and pray that I never had to face ANYONE on the plane again…But that would be too easy.

Dear Nashville, your ½ degree of separation is annoying as crap. As if the whole experience wasn’t enough, one of my close friend’s roommates was on the plane that day. Several days later while at said friend’s house, the roommate came downstairs and asked, “How are you feeling?” He then began to give an account of what it looked like from a passengers’ prospective. He said for the most part, the people around him were completely sympathetic and just happy that they weren’t the ones who were projectile vomiting on the plane. Whether he was lying or not, I’ll never know.

Needless to say I haven’t eaten Subway since. I did call and speak with the airport manager. While they accepted no culpability, he expressed his sincere remorse about the situation and sent me a gift card to the coffee shop at the airport, with a note, “I was going to send you a Subway gift card, but then realized that probably wouldn’t work. ) Good thinking Sir. I still can’t walk past a Subway without cringing. Maybe one day I’ll go back and face my fears. But for now, they’re on the list with Denny’s, Olive Garden and Captain D’s as places that I’d rather go hungry than eat at their establishments. You try puking up your pancreas and tell me you wouldn’t feel the same way.

I Don't Care What You Say. We Are Still in a Recession. -Toya

2011-12-06T23:26:00.003-06:00

Tonight two of my coworkers and I won first prize in our office karaoke contest at our annual Christmas party. And guess what song we did?

Aaaaand guess who wore a pair of overalls backwards?

Hey for $300 you would’ve done it too. I mean we split it three ways but still.

With The Office being my favorite tv show (well the first few seasons anyway) and me joking about being the Black Pam Beasley, it was all I could do to not take the mic from my boss after he gave us our prize money and do this right here:

Maybe next time. But in the meanwhile...

Real Time Commentary: The Misadventures of AWKWARD Black Girl Episode 11

2011-12-01T22:13:00.000-06:00

I did not expect it to go down like THIS!!!! Can't wait to hear what you all thought. Here are my thoughts in real time:

1. I need her to forgive Jay. Seriously. He's been stellar up Halloween night. He should at least have a chance to explain.
2. Besties before testies! HAAAA!
3. I never quite understood how women can call each other “bitches”. I can't call you something in love that I'd punch someone else in the face over.
4. I need J's Soul Glow t-shirt and I need it now.
5. How do you go back to Fred when Fred hasn't said word one about checking for you? I know they say actions speak louder than words but can he say SOMETHING?
6. Why do we always blame ourselves when men screw up?
7. J's wig just took me in.
8. NOOOOO! She will not freestyle in this playground cypher! NOOOOOO!!!!!
9. NOOOOOOO!!! Car pool with you to school nooooooooooooooooooo!!!! I am in pain!!!!
10. I would transfer to another school in another state.
11. “For his hand in booage.” ABG has some of the best one liners.
12. Geek IS Gangster. That shirt is so cute.
13. Wait...did D just tell the girl he was talking to on the phone that J was his boy Reggie? He's the worst.
14. “But penguins don't even fly!' Favorite line so far.
15. Yes we get to find out what happened with A!
16. Dead at 6:28. I cannot. CAN-NOT.
17. “Girl are you gay now?” I remember I got asked this the first time I went natural. And “When did you catch cancer?” CATCH cancer? Nina is the devil.
18. Loneliness and free booze most often leads to disaster. Please remember this at your next office Christmas party.
19. J does not do well at parties.
20. I told yall A was fine! I told yall A was fine!!!! Please recognize!!!!!
21. They are really umm... “free” at their office parties, aren't they?
22. Uh oh. Uh oh. We aren't about to see this are we? Please no sex scene. Lord help.
23. “Who knows what that back story is” Smartest thing Ce Ce has said during this entire episode.
24. PICK UP! Please talk to White Jay. Please. Is Jay participating in Movember because his beard is doing a lot right now.
25. Did he just force himself over there? I like a man that takes charge. And he's bringing cupcakes? Yall already know. Team White Jay for the win. It's a wrap.
26. Why did they just show up at her spot like someone died? If Fred is about to holler at J why is Darrius with him? Is he the wing man? What is this high school? “Yo my man wanna holler at you right quick.” I can't.
27. Ok he had car trouble. He came over there by any means necessary didn't he? Again, Jay is bringing cupcakes so...
28. “I like you. I have for a long time.” Wait...wait...wait....Wait.
29. Why is Darrius so close to their conversation? This is so high school! I CAN'T with Fred! I mean, I could but...never mind. Just... never mind.
30. Aaaaaaand of course here comes White Jay. If I have said it once I have said it a thousand times: Cupcakes, I mean chemistry wins over cuteness any day of the week. I am still Team White Jay until A gets some swagger lessons.
  
  Ok guys. What did yall think of ABG episode 11?

The Art of the Red Lip

2011-12-01T06:00:00.000-06:00

Is it me or does MAC artist Caroline D look like she could be Jessie J's older sister?

As I previously posted, I am a fiend for red lipstick right now. There are so many shades with so many undertones. I believe that anyone can rock a red lip. I haven't quite perfected mine and this short video gave me some tips on what I can do better. So if you are looking to spruce up your holiday party look a bit or just wanted to know how to rock a bold lip, red or not, this is a good video to watch.