16th April 2010
It was one of my very early tagging 2nd call as an ortho MO inside the OT. Didn’t do much that day actually. It was until midnight that the OT started calling ortho cases one by one. Managed to skipped out at midnight for supper together with another MO and HO.

It was around 2. A case of ray’s was called it. Things when uneventfully. It was when I finished un-scrubbed and took out my phone that I saw a dozens missed call from my youngest bro. A message from my 2nd bro said that dad is in trouble, please call back asap.

Of course, the conversation was brief. Unexpected.

“What do you mean by he left?”

I told my friend and went back home to pack some stuffs. Still unable to really grasp the reality, my mind was racing.

“Is it true?”

I know my family too well that nobody will ever play a joke on me.

Even if it is true, I can’t do much now but to get back and be supportive I though. I packed what was necessary. A few clothes and a jeans, and I drove home.

Apathy.

The state of denial drags on.

But around 50km from Kluang, tears fell down like nobody’s business.

It was like that, until I reached home.

Dad’s friend was standing in front of the house with a sad face. I walked in, tried to be as steady as I go. Grandma was on the chair crying her heart out. My knees almost gave way when I took the turn at the staircase.

Sound of mum chanting the almighty name can still be heard.

There he was, my dad, lying on the bed. Cold. Blue.

Lost my dad when I am 28, byoon when he is 22, byuan when he is 17.

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When was the last time I saw him?
I don’t know. Can’t recall. But it was definitely in Melaka. The last conversation was, however, few days before things happened. It was over the phone, regarding some domestic issue.

Now that everything has kinda settled down, I can’t help but wonder whether I had know my dad well.

Yes. I would say so. In fact I was proud of him. And it has nothing to do about how much he had earned and supported us, but rather how he had been a good man, and good friend for a lot of people around him. People came from a far just to look at him the last time. Friends cried that they have lost someone close to their heart. It makes me think, how much tears would be shed for me if I am to meet my day? And how much would there be for you?

Well, it never helps even if I had witnessed this so many times inside the hospital. Even thou I clearly understand that nothing cheats death but it is still a pity that he left us this early.

I do miss him.

And I think he does miss us as well.

But we will definitely meet one day later. And I’m sure that place would be a better place for us.

Maybe I was a bit too enthusiastic or maybe I didn’t read much enough on this filters but the first outing shooting sunset with it is a nightmare. Maybe I only used the -1 set so nothing much different. I think these would work better on bright daylight. Yet to experiment more.

Hopefully this would mark another milestone on this photography journey.

Life had been busy. Struggled to put the first property in shape/form and get it rented just now to its first tenant. It was hard work but of course with it came a lot of satisfaction. There are still stuffs to be done, and some cleaning and touching up but hopefully everything will be in piece and I wouldn’t be spending any more big bucks in the future.

Work wise. Am doing something that I had always wondered and wanted. Had always look at a surgeon and wondered how come he has the power and knowledge and skills to do certain thing. And being in MGH gave me the chance to learn the real thing in my own pace. Hopefully I ain’t too slow. Even thou the learning process is slowed down by shifting and cleaning, but I bet I gotta be back in form the coming week. More things to learn and more to do.

And of course, people say the more you do the more mistakes you make. Well, it is inevitable. And I just have to be careful and more careful when time goes.

Got back my tamron lens recently. Yet to take some stunning pictures but am hoping to do that real soon (with new skills and perspectives).

Hopefully tomorrow will be better :)

Maybe in this life, this is the calling?

Damn funny hakka song

There are times when people come to me, and want me to advice, suggest or influence future generations related to me, to pursue certain professions or courses. Well, what can I say. This is my first job, and my only job, and I have limited knowledge in what people do and how it is like to be in their shoes.

Looking back and housemanship and all the new medical graduates. I can’t help but think that time has changed. The cycles of saying previous generation was better, worked harder and harsher is never ending. I had always try to keep my mouth shut when it comes to discuss about housemen & housemenship. When I was one, my senior would say that how hard it was for them during their housemanship. And they would say that we have it easy. And now when I became and MO, I saw my colleagues telling the current houseman how it was hard for them last time, some even going to the extend of complaining regarding the new housemen. Haven’t we all been in their place? Well, maybe not they say.

Being a Russian grad. I know it is going to be hard for a lot of new houseman. With the current shift system (there goes the blablabla), it is going to be even harder. Harder in the sense that you have less chance to learn. Harder in the sense that sometimes you don’t even know your MOs. Harder in the sense that you don’t have a close tie with us.

I know people say new graduates have questionable quality.

I know the government in kinda concentrated with doctors and new rules will be there to control all these. And there will even be rules to sack those poor performing one.

But as for today, I think I’ll be nice with all that I work with. We shall help each other since the future is going to be harsh. At least that’s what I believe in. At least maybe with this, we all still stand a chance to be a good doc.

Just putting up stuffs taken long time ago.

Was tidying up all the folders and some nice shoots that I think worth sharing.