tl;dr: I think a lot of folks are wrongly conflating personal messaging, topical communities, and general social networks (though I get there’s a bunch of overlap). And I think the increasing fracturing of these venues is actually fine, except for the first category… which is indeed quite annoying.

PERSONAL MESSAGING

iMessage, WhatsApp, Signal, Line, FB Messenger, etc. The apps we use to keep in touch with our family and friends, 1:1 and in small groups.

It’s certainly a pain when the people we care about are spread across so many different services, because it means we have to keep a bunch of apps on our phone, remember which app so-and-so checks more often, etc. And a world where Apple opens up iMessage to the world or embraces RCS… seems, alas, unlikely.

My personal favorite messaging app is currently Signal, from a non-profit org of the same name that’s created a well-made cross-platform, end-to-end-encrypted service. It supports the things most normal people want and expect from a messaging service, like sending your bestie a photo or short video that doesn’t look like a potato when received. Unless it actually is a potato, in which case… go Idaho farmers!

TOPICAL COMMUNITIES

This set includes Subreddits (groups) on Reddit, hobbyist forums, Facebook groups, etc.

It’s fine that these are fractured! When one wants to talk about, say, Japan travel, it’s no problem that there are 4200 different places to learn and engage. Many of those communities are great and helpful and one doesn’t have to keep up with all of ’em on various phone apps

GENERAL SOCIAL NETWORKING

This describes services such as Twitter, Bluesky, Mastodon, Threads, and of course Facebook’s ‘main feed’ (but it’s complicated!*), and so on.
And it shouldn’t worry us that users are — and likely will remain — fractured across these services.

After all, in real life we have a set of places where we like to hang out, and they all feature different groups of people, distinct vibes, and so on.

Folks are understandably concerned about a perceived “winner takes all” scenario here, but the internet has gotten big enough that… that’s unlikely to be an issue.

Maybe Post will stay small.
Maybe Bluesky will take off or maybe it won’t.
Hopefully Spill (a newer Black-centric social network) will grow and thrive.

There’s room for ’em all!

My only firm expectation (and hope) at this point is that Twitter finally dies

I genuinely understand and appreciate that many people have quite fond memories of that place and will be sad to see it go to that great big bitbucket in the sky. But it’s like your cranky-but-beloved granny who got bit by a zombie. She’s not the same granny anymore. Let her go, friends, let her go.

Image credit: Pieter Brueghel the Elder – bAGKOdJfvfAhYQ — Google Arts & Culture, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=22178101

(* As you can see from the multiple mentions of Facebook in the lists above, it’s a confusing/confounding example because it’s at once so many different things! (messaging service, topical groups, generalized social network, etc.)

The post It’s (mostly) okay that everyone is everywhere all at once appeared first on adamyntium.

By now we likely all know someone who was recently laid off and, understandably, we want to reach out in a respectful & effective way.  Often, though, we may not be quite sure what to say.  Or, worse, we procrastinate getting in touch and then later feel awkward about writing a ‘belated’ short note of support.

Today I realized that fitness classes –  one of my ‘happy places’ – are actually instructive in this context!  Many of them have movements delineated as “Level 1” “Level 2” and so on, with level 1 being the minimal but important foundation (showing up and making even a small effort).  When reaching out to others, just the basic action itself (level 1) is meaningful and worthwhile!

So with that said, here’s how I think about ‘levels’ when it comes to messaging someone who’s been laid off:

Level 1: Say something. Anything. And at any time!

EXAMPLE:
“Hey, just wanted to let you know I miss you, and I’m really sorry about the situation!”

I can’t imagine that any laid-off person is going to be ungrateful if your wording isn’t super-eloquent.  And I practically guarantee you they’re not going to turn up their nose because you wrote 6 weeks vs. 6 hours after they were axed. They’ll just be happy to hear from you, period. In fact, maybe even waiting a bit is a smart move — especially if you weren’t especially close — since laid off folks can get deluged with well-wishes initially but then weeks later… crickets.

Level 2: Explicitly ask how (and when) you can help

EXAMPLE:
“Hi, [name], I’ve been thinking of you! Please let me know what I could do that’d be most helpful right now (or later)!”

Note that this is a small but significant improvement over the more generic-sounding “I’m here if you need anything” or “Happy to help in any way I can”… because it’s more actionably worded:
– It encourages vs. just casually welcomes the person to request help
– It invites them to be specific about what they need
– And it also makes it clear that you’re eager to help… even if they just want space now and help later!

Level 3: Describe specific things you have valued about that person and/or suggest how you can help them

EXAMPLE: 
“Hey [name]! I’m really sorry about this crappy layoff situation. We all miss you and were reminiscing about how awesome you were for our team. You did such an incredible job retaining the [x] account with your smart, actionable ideas. And your presentation skills were amazing; I’ll never forget when you pitched to [exec] and got immediate approval for that huge project when no one else could win her over!

I’m happy to write you an endorsement here about any of that, or even encourage [exec] to write one for you… would that be helpful? I also have some high level contacts at [other great company], let me know if you’d like me to connect you with one of them! Or just tell me what I can do for you, even if it’s just taking you out for drinks or mini-golfing or something; I’d love to see you!”

I personally always found notes with specific examples to be really heartening because this accentuated that I was, indeed, a valued member to the team due to particular skills I brought to the table vs. just a nice person or someone who “worked hard”, etc.  Future employers will care a lot about the former, not so much about the latter, and being reminded that we are future-employable is great for peace of mind .

You can choose any of the above options depending upon your relationship with the person, the expected incremental impact of your help, and, yes, the amount of time and energy you have at the moment.

Just write something! Simply knowing that you thought of them will often make someone’s day.  (Hmm, that probably applies well beyond the layoff context as well, but I digress!)

Ah, but where to send the message?

LinkedIn is usually a safe and reasonable option in this space, but here are some other options:

• Text:  Company directories may include phone numbers of employees who opted in to publishing them.  
• Email:  You can often find someone’s email address via their web site if they have one or even via a plain web search.
• Social media:  e.g., Twitter, Reddit, Facebook, or Instagram DM.  Do check whether the respective account is active vs. dormant, though.  A message sent to, say, an IG account that hasn’t been updated in 4 years is unlikely to be read.
• Friend:  “Hey, [mutual colleague/friend], do you know a good way I can get in touch with [person]?”

And lastly, after sending a message, realize that there’s a huge variance in what (and when) you could hear back!

You might receive a heartfelt outpouring of emotions (from confused to sad to angry), a brusque “Thanks”, or even nothing at all.  Know that this is more of a reflection of that person’s current state of mind and energy level vs. what they feel about you or your note.  Take comfort in knowing that you did a good thing (thank you! )

If you’ve been laid off, you almost certainly have your own take on all of this!  Does the guidance above match your preferences?  If not, how would you encourage folks to reach out?

The post How to lift up your laid-off friends appeared first on adamyntium.

1. Decide on broad goals and include a WHY.
2. Highlight a small thing to do to help you get to your goal and establish timing. Don’t worry about ‘completion’ or even results at this point, just focus on behaviors!
3. Check in regularly to evaluate your progress, determine whether your actions are leading to positive results, and — if not — refine stuff

More details

Start with goals + why’s

EXAMPLES

• I want to learn to speak and read some Japanese so I can enjoy my trips to Japan more.
• I want to sleep better so I feel more refreshed in the morning and at the top of my game during the day.
• I want to learn more tricks & tools associated with music composition so I can enjoy the satisfaction of composing pieces without so much hassle and frustration.

Pick the ‘small thing’ + timing

EXAMPLES

• … and I will spend an average of 15 minutes a night learning hiragana and katakana.
• … and I will not eat anything or drink alcohol after 9pm and I will lay in bed, without my phone, by midnight each night.
• … and I will spend an hour every week watching videos or reading material pertaining to music composition and spend another hour composing or arranging music.

Notice I didn’t write stuff like “I will sleep 8 hours a night” or “I will write 4 songs.” Of course, if I end up still feeling tired, or fail to write any pieces in the first month or so, then I’ll retool my plans :). I know that conventional wisdom says to focus on the results, but I firmly believe that focusing on improving behaviors is more effective and sustainable.

In the past, I’ve actually used a Google spreadsheet to track how well I’ve done each behavior, and I think I’ll try that again this year :). In part, it’s a reminder that good is better than perfect, and past failure is no excuse for subsequent failure; seeing lots of checkmarks is inspiring even if it’s not 100% in a set! (for some, “Don’t break the streak!” is motivating!)

Lastly, consider NOT entirely avoiding something that you enjoy… but rather just bound it to a more positive behavior or by timing. “I can eat a serving of chocolate after I’ve already eaten a serving of fruit” rather than “No more chocolate!” Or “I can browse Reddit for 30 minutes a day on my desktop, but no mindless scrolling on my phone, so I’m removing the app!”

Do you tend to make New Years’ resolutions? If so, do you follow a process like the geeky one I’ve outlined above?

[Pictured: a totally-unrelated photo of my backyard. Yay, Meyer lemons, which should be ready in another month or so!]

The post Advice on making New Years’ resolutions appeared first on adamyntium.

• 99% of them haven’t tried it.
• 95% of them didn’t bother actually RTFA (“Who is gonna pay thousands of dollars per person for this??!?” [it costs $299])
• Nearly everyone will be “WOW! This is revolutionary!” when Apple eventually copies, er, makes their own version (in fairness, Apple will introduce it in a far more polished way)

I haven’t tried Horizons Workrooms yet because, well, it’s not like Google is gonna go all-in on this for our remote work… and other than Google stuff, I’m generally not collaborating on projects (and I don’t think all my fellow non-profit Groupmuse Foundation board members have the Oculus Quest headset this software requires).

But it seems reasonably useful to me. In particular, I’ve really appreciated spatial audio in gamings and social meetups on various apps!

I know that a ton of us are really Zoom’d out at this point (including me), but there are some very key aspects of VR collaboration that mitigate many problems with ‘regular’ video conferencing:

• No more constant eye-contact. Seriously, every colleague literally facing every other colleague is so unnatural and sometimes even unnerving, not to mention fatiguing!
• You no longer see yourself on camera. Whew! Also a big stress relief.
• And the aforementioned spatial audio is a surprisingly helpful way of quickly getting clued in on who is speaking. It’s just more natural to hear voices coming from different “locations” vs. all blended together via your laptop speakers.

Not Yet Frequently Asked Questions

(but I thought I’d answer them anyway)

“But Adam, won’t the ads be annoying?”

I’d be surprised if this product gets ads shoved in it, since it’s targeted at professionals vs. consumers. I expect it’ll be a loss leader, a way for Oculus to get people to buy their hardware, or something with a freemium upsell in the future.

“How can we trust Facebook with private conversations?!”

If they hope to get big companies onboard (and that’s their path to major profit on this I’d think), they’ll need to include pretty ironclad guarantees re privacy. And lying in that context would screw them over big time.

“But… cartoon characters? With no legs? This looks like a kiddie game!”

Fair. But, as I said, this thing runs on $299 headsets, and it has head and hand tracking but no other physical tracking. With the available computing power at that price point (and without a required PC in the background), any attempt at animated photo-realism would be a pretty painful Uncanny Valley experience.

“Wouldn’t this be uncomfortable for 8 hour stretches?!”

First of all, those of you in 8-hour-stretches of meetings on the daily… you have far bigger problems worry about than the uncomfortableness of a headset. But that extreme aside, yeah, I can’t imagine a typical VR headset being comfortable for particularly long stretches and, besides, the Quest’s battery only lasts 2-2.5 hours.

But for collaborations that last, say, 1 hour… heck, I’ve spent far more than that playing mini-golf on my Quest without any adverse effects :).

“Speaking of adverse effects, don’t people get nauseous in VR?!”

Yep, they sure do, but usually from games involving motion (roller-coastering, running, falling, etc). I would be really surprised if many folks felt sick from a virtual collaboration app in VR.

Curious to know what you think!

Have you tried this yet? Or even just socialized in VR before?
Any sort of collaboration you’d be interested in tackling with this?

The post Facebook’s Horizon Workrooms: don’t believe the anti-hype appeared first on adamyntium.

This makes the uneven narratives and unsatisfying ending all the more disappointing.

NOTE: This game is available on PC, Playstation, Switch, and Xbox

To quote the publisher: “[Last Stop is] a video game about secret lives, the ties that bind and how magic can be found in the mundane […] a single-player third-person adventure set in present day London.”

I actually recommend against watching the trailers unless you don’t mind being exposed to some spoilers.

The gameplay

This part’s straightforward. There just isn’t much “gameplay,” at least in the traditional sense. I’ll explain more in a moment, but in the meantime, have a listen to the marvelous score while you read; you can select amongst the 71 (!!!) music tracks by clicking the three-line icon on the top right of the embed below (but see Spoilers warning below!)

WARNING: Song titles may be spoilers; consider listening to the songs without looking at the titles

So what’s “game play” like? Well, you stir tea. Reassemble broken china. Play an orchestral piano (!) duet in one of the more actually delightful ‘mini-games.’ And you walk a lot! But mostly you just choose dialog options which — until the last 10 minutes of the game — generally don’t affect anything other than the immediate verbal responses. Again, until the end, “Choose Your Own Adventure” this ain’t.

I love games where you get to explore and experience at leisure, generally without worrying about ‘dying’ or even really getting stuck. But — unfortunately in Last Stop — the game is so ‘on the rails’ that there’s barely any free exploring to be enjoyed.

At first I was a bit annoyed by the lack of interactivity and near-total lack of agency… feeling that the performative actions required to move the game forward were both unnecessary and unhelpful. But then I oddly grew to appreciate the forced engagement. While the game’s three (eventually) intertwining stories could have almost certainly fit into a short TV mini-series, even the limited interactivity here still at least slightly increases the immersion and connection.

The sound

The voice acting in Last Stop is simply stellar! The spoken dialogue is clear (though subtitles are on by default — helpful for non-Brits given the British accents!), and the intonation is heartfelt but not campy. And while some might find the voice of the young kid (I think age 9?) to be grating in its effusiveness, I appreciated the cheerfully sassy and playful tone as a bit of comic relief :).

As for the music, oh wow! Especially the tracks associated with John, Jack & Molly theme… such a wonderful combination of joy & whimsy & regret and more. And the balance is perfect; the music never crowds out the dialogue; it’s noticeable and emotionally powerful without being obtrusive.

Oh, and the score is really brought to life by the Prague Philharmonic Orchestra; what a pleasant surprise in professionalism and depth for what I perceive to be a not-huge-budgeted indie production!

Didn’t listen via the YouTube embed above? Well, below you can listen to at least snippets on Spotify

The graphics and animation

I appreciate when game artists eschew the look-de-jour — photo-realism — and instead go with nearly any other style.

With Last Stop, the artists have indeed crafted characters and an environment that help keep one immersed and feeling connected, effectively telegraphing character emotions and a delightful sense of London (or at least London’ness). This pleasantly avoids the “uncanny valley” effect of photo-realism in other games that encourages scrutiny but lacks enough realism to achieve believability. Colors pop, shading is nicely done, and transitions often feel sweepingly cinematic.

The animation style is… a bit more of a mixed bag. For instance, when you’re controlling a character’s walking or running, direction transitions can be Sims-like jarring. And the animation choice to have characters walk in place if they hit a ‘wall’… well, that feels simply awkward and annoying :(. In other situations, though, particularly in cut-scenes, characters’ motions seem more fluid and realistic. And facial expressions and overall movements tend to be pleasantly expressive and overall fairly decent.

The characters

This is where things start to get a bit more… mixed :-(. All of the main characters are well-fleshed out… for better or worse, since one of them in particular is just an awful person (albeit with some backstory ‘justification’), and some others make choices of the sorts that teens are wont to do in horror films (e.g., “There’s a killer on the loose, there are strange noises in the basement, let me go investigate… alone and unarmed!”). But on the other hand, teens \_(ツ)_/¯ amiright?

The Jerkface and impulsive teenness aside, the characters (at least the main ones) are relatable and reasonably nuanced. As with many other reviewers, apparently, I particularly took to the trio of John, Jack, and Molly (and their friend Shaz), who collectively appear in about one-third the game’s running time. Despite some warts and such, they turn out to be pretty decent, likeable, and growing-over-time characters. Often rather funny, too! Other character arcs (or lack thereof) were, unfortunately, often less… rewarding.

One other positive note, though: there’s a darn good amount of diversity. This London has plenty of folks — both starring and supporting — of Indian and African descent, with a laudable array of skin tones. There’s also diversity in relationship types, with a sister of one of the characters in a loving relationship with another woman.

The story(ies)

But the story, dear readers, is regrettably the part that has me hovering right between “lightly recommend” and “lightly dis-recommend” when it comes to this game, and I’ll start with the elephant in the room… the ending.

The last 5-10% of the game, frankly, maintains the visual and aural delights of the first 90% but is otherwise jarring, amateur’ish, and, well, kind of head-scratching. There are just too many times I was grumbling, “Oh, come on, that just doesn’t make any sense!” or “Really? All the possible creative options, and you chose such a safe, pedestrian one?” and also “WAIT! You never explained…”

But perhaps most painfully, of the six possible endings… three are bittersweet, and the other half are just downright depressing.

So after spending about 6 hours playing this game, I was left with disappointment, confusion, and quite a bit of sadness… not only about the endings themselves, but about the lost potential, about what this game could have been.

Okay, enough about how I felt about (and at) the end. What about the middle, the journey?

In a nutshell… one of the stories was delightful if a bit predictable, another was thematically uncomfortable and featuring a character whose motivations & origin were never explained, and a third just felt implausible in too many ways, particularly from the perspective of character motivations.

Towards the last 30 minutes or so of the story, the characters and — to a lesser extent — the plots become intertwined. But I found the environment and narrative turn to be deeply disappointing. At least loosely (if not thematically) it reminded me a bit of how I felt at the conclusion of the TV show Lost. “All that investment, all those intriguing threads… for this?! Really?!!”

Bottom line

Note that Last Stop is one of the games included free with an Xbox Game Pass membership. Reviews seem frankly fairly consistent — engaging journey, disappointing ending — so if you’re okay with that as your likely experience, you have little to lose but a few hours of your time.

For the rest of y’all, well, I suppose the decision is a bit tougher. If you’re up for an oft-nailbiting and roller-coaster journey and are less concerned about the destination, then for you this may be money and time well-spent :).

Score: 6 out of 10

Looking forward to your comments & questions below!

Re SPOILERS… I’m gonna go with allowing spoilers in the comments; just please put “SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS” at the top of your comment so people can skip it if they want.

And people reading the comments… do so with the understanding that you might encounter spoilers, so proceed cautiously below if that’s a concern!

The post “Last Stop” game review: Great sound, good looks, but mixed feelings appeared first on adamyntium.

But I bet if you reeeeeeally wanted to you would.

She’s right… sort of. But she didn’t say how.

Back in the day, though, my dad knew how.

In the 7th grade — when I was humiliated that I couldn’t do even one pull-up in gym class — my (very strong!) dad was low on sympathy but ready with a solution.

Days later, he installed a pull-up bar on my bedroom door. And then the conversation went like this:

Me: But I told you, I can’t do even one pull-up!!!

Dad: I know. Just do as much of one pull-up as you can, every single time you enter or exit your room.

Me:

Dad:

In less than a week I could do a pull-up.

And by the time the next pull-up test came ’round at school, I was able to do FOURTEEN (14) pull-ups (!), more than almost everyone else in class, including the bullies, the jocks, bullying jocks, and the jockeying bullies! (you can clearly tell how much fun in my early years as a young nerd)

So what did I learn from this?
What can you, humble reader, learn from this?

Persistence pays off, sure, yeah, blah blah blah.
But chopping something into smaller, easier, slower, lighter, less-scary blocks AND THEN DOING IT REPEATEDLY ON AN UNAVOIDABLE CUE… that is the useful answer!

Or, more specifically…

• It should be something you really want to do or achieve, not something your spouse tells you you ought to do :D.
• It can be reasonably broken down into slower / simpler / easier / less-scary chunks.
• You can tackle it multiple times a day.
• And, ideally, the trigger is clear and — even better — physically associated with the task.

In this case, a pull-up bar above my door fit all of the above! I wanted to show up my mocking classmates, it’s possible to do a quarter or half a pull-up, with the bar being above my bedroom door the practicing was accessible, the trigger was clear/unambiguous (anytime I entered or exited my bedroom), and the pull-up bar was staring me in the face!

Have you tackled a challenge in a similar way? What did you achieve, and how did you achieve it?

P.S. — Here’s one that’s similar to the one I have on my study door currently

The post I couldn’t do one pull-up. My dad’s hack fixed that brilliantly. appeared first on adamyntium.

Total prep & cook time: under 10 minutes (seriously).  Total cost: Under $10.

Here are before and after pics:

Ingredients:

• Salmon (duh!)
• Brown rice
• Real butter (everything’s better with butter!)
• Spices (I used garlic salt, pepper, and red curry paste)

Things I used to cook this stuff:

• Skillet (with lid)
• Spatula (for spreading the butter)
• Tongs (though unsuccessfully; see later note)
• Measuring cup (to measure rice and water)
• Bowl (to microwave the rice in)
• Paper towels for blotting salmon & cleaning up splatter :\

Preparation steps:

1. Cook rice. I used a microwavable quick-cook brown rice.  1 cup rice, 1 cup water = 2 servings. Throw the bowl in the microwave for 7 minutes, and it’s done by the time your salmon is ready!
2. Blot salmon with paper towels.  Apparently, less-wet pre-cooked salmon = tastier cooked salmon.
3. Pre-heat skillet on medium heat for a few minutes.
4. Throw in a bunch of butter.  Spread it around with the spatula.
5. Carefully place salmon in the skillet, skin side down.  Yes, cook with the skin, even if you’re one of those weirdos who will later avoid eating it.  It’s important for cooking the salmon nicely.
6. Optionally add ground pepper, garlic salt, salt, whatever you feel like.
7. Turn heat to medium-high.  Cover.  Cook for about 4 minutes (though I guess it depends on the size of your salmon piece).
8. CAREFULLY flip salmon over.  This is the part, unfortunately, that I did not succeed with.  I got hot blackened salmon-skin+butter splatter all over the place. Bummer :(.  Let me know if you figure out a way to do this.  I tried tong’ing the salmon, but that didn’t seem to work very well.  Maybe I needed bigger tongs.
9. Cook this side of the salmon for just 1-2 minutes.  Honest!  Unless you like tough yucky salmon. Personally, I prefer pink’ish, melt-in-your-mouth salmon.

And melt-in-your-mouth amazing salmon is exactly what I ended up with!  Wow wow wow.

I scooped some rice on the side of my plate, mixed in some red curry paste (a little goes a long way), and I was in heaven, eating the entire two servings worth of salmon and about half the rice in one sitting.

Again, this took less than 10 minutes total to prepare.  And with the fresh salmon costing about $8/pound (and my piece weighing about three-quarters of a pound), plus negligible spice/condiment costs… it cost easily less than a third of what it would have in a restaurant.  Plus… this tasted better than almost every restaurant salmon dish I’ve had, since for some inexplicable reason restaurants seem apt to overcook their fish :\ (maybe due to cover-their-posterior health concerns?)

Anyway, you owe it to yourself to try my recipe.  If you don’t have real butter, use oil.  If you don’t have red curry paste, use mustard or soy sauce or whatever.  But definitely do try cooking it the way I’ve described, and I am confident you’ll be as happy as I am right now

The post Salmon: Super delicious & super-easy even for cooking n00bs! (#2 in “Cooking for the Lazy” series) appeared first on adamyntium.

All men.  Many seemed to already be acquainted, or in a few cases, fast friends.  Clearly they’d been through similar classes before.

And halfway through the class, her fears were realized; everyone was more experienced than she was.  More skilled.  More at ease.  More confident.

She stumbled again.  What was she doing here?  She didn’t belong, and of course everyone knew it.

What were they thinking?  Were they amused at how out-of-her-element she was?  Annoyed that she was taking up space that could have been filled with someone more competent, someone that belonged here?

Were they staring at her?    No, wait, they were pretty much ignoring her.  For a moment, she was unsure whether she wanted to blend in or be just wholly invisible.

And yet she came back to the class again the following week.

“Hi,” she stammered to a couple of the guys.  Hmm, had she just interrupted their conversation?  Did they even hear her?  No response.

Others were immersed in their phones. Let’s see, greet the new girl or read more Facebook posts?  Clearly no contest.

She thought about not going back.  All those guys probably would probably be happier anyway if a lone girl wasn’t invading their space.  They’d feel more free to be themselves, to make guy jokes, to share guy gossip.  And she just wasn’t doing very well in the class anyway; she wasn’t cut out for this.  Yes, it was interesting, yes, the subject matter was fun, yes, she had just as much right to be there as anyone else.  But why persist where she wasn’t wanted?

…

Plot twist!  This was actually about a guy in a class that was otherwise 100% female-attended.  The class? A weekly ujam dance fitness workout.  The guy?  Me.

Even crazier?  I was actually thinking and experiencing everything described above.

Absolutely ridiculous, right?  I’m a white, middle-class guy who was taking a totally optional, pretty inconsequential group exercise class.  My livelihood wasn’t at stake.  This wasn’t about a college education or a job or anything else critical like that.  Not to mention that this was just a once-a-week thing.

And as I thought about how embarrassingly ludicrous my feelings were, a lightbulb went on in my head:  Holy crap, these feelings… these worries… this discomfort… this was just an extremely tiny taste of what a lot of my black / Hispanic / female friends have faced regularly in their lives.  First day on the job as a software engineer.  At tryouts for a symphony orchestra position.  Attendee at a tech conference.  Faced with a sea of white faces–often predominantly male–wondering how others are judging them.  Oh, that Hispanic guy must be on the cleaning crew.  That woman is obviously booth babe, not a mechanical engineer.

Every fricking week, maybe even every damn day they’re faced with crap like this.  And don’t even get me started about online harassment :\.

On one hand, I laughed when I thought about how silly my “aw, poor Adam, feeling insecure in a gym class!” feelings were.  But then when I realized that this was just a very, very, very watered-down taste of what my friends regularly dealt with, it was no longer funny.  Just sad.

Thankfully, I truly believe that–at least in the U.S.–the ‘younger generation’ is far more open-minded and embracing of diversity than the generations that came before it.  Interracial couples, close friends of different races, not just tolerance but full-on acceptance of gay marriage, and so on.

But we shouldn’t have to wait for all of us old(er) farts to die off.  We should find a way to make more people feel welcome in every aspect of life, not only in hugely meaningful ways, but in small, mundane ways as well.  I’ve often winced when I’ve heard the phrase “check your privilege,” frankly, but perhaps we could all question our assumptions, force ourselves out of our comfort zones (in what we read, think, and do), and do our best to recognize how our preconceptions and fears can be hurting other people.  More positively, we could make more of a daily effort to be genuinely welcoming to individuals who don’t look like us.

And yes, in the meantime, I’ve been continuing to go to ujam.  I still sometimes wonder whether people are secretly laughing at my body roll attempts (or my more literal body rolls), but now I smile when I consider how such trivial discomforts have sparked me to think a bit bigger… and to finally write another blog post here :).

P.S. — Seeing the latest Disney movie, Zootopia, almost certainly played a role in spurring me to write this. What an amazing film in all respects, in no small part due to its sly, funny, and deeply thoughtful take on race relations, diversity, and related issues.  GO SEE IT!

P.P.S. — My friend Rachel sent me a link to this cartoon which I think speaks volumes:

Anyone know where this is from? I’d love to link & give full credit (and yes, I Googled!)

The post So THIS is a *tiny* glimpse into being a minority… appeared first on adamyntium.

Today I made waffanas, my brilliant name for banana-stuffed waffles.  They were super delicious and very easy to make, even for cooking-incompetent and kitchen-lazy people (like me and, perhaps, you).

NOTE:  I’m linking to Amazon products below* for your informational convenience, but if you’re gonna buy any of this stuff, I strongly encourage you to shop around. Much of it may be quite a bit cheaper at your local grocery store, or on Jet or Google Shopping Express.

PREP TIME:  About 4-6 minutes of actual work, plus another 5-7 minutes of waiting for the waffle iron to heat up and cook your waffanas :).

THINGS YOU’LL NEED:

• Waffle iron:  I love my Cuisinart WAF-300 Belgian Waffle Maker with Pancake Plates, in large part because it has removable (dishwasher-safe) plates.  But I’m betting nearly any waffle maker would do.  Or, for that matter, you could make pancakanas on any griddle or frying pan!
• Waffle/pancake mix:  Who has time to make this stuff from scratch?  I am smitten with the Kodiak-brand mixes because they’re high in protein, have very natural ingredients, contain little sugar, and — unlike most mixes which require oil and eggs and such — you only have to add water to the Kodiak mixes!  But again, you can surely use any mix you like or have handy.  The Kodiak mixes should cost you around $5-6 a box, each of which allegedly contain 18 (!) servings but which is probably around 12 servings for us hungry Americans :).  Still, that’s like 50 cents a serving at most.
• Oil to ensure non-stick’ness:  I use these spray bottles and they work great, but I’m betting you could find cheaper ones that work just as well.  Or heck, just put a bit of oil on a paper towel and rub it over your waffle iron or griddle.
• Bananas:  Duh!  Any ripeness (or lack thereof) is totally a matter of your own preference here.
• Other optional goodies:  Chocolate chips.  Chocolate sauce.  Chocolate spread (sensing a trend here?).  Berries (frozen or fresh).  Syrup.  Me?  I went with some drizzled honey

HOW TO COOK WAFFANAS

• Pre-heat:  Turn on the waffle iron or griddle.  Optionally rub or spray some oil on it first to make cleaning easier.
• Slice the bananas:  Pretty self-explanatory.
• Mix the mix:  I love this measuring cup ’cause you can see the numbers from the top.  But heck, you don’t even really have to measure this very exactly, so probably any cup’ll do.  A whisk is helpful, but probably not necessary.
• Pour stuff:  When your waffle iron or griddle is hot enough, pour in the mix!  And then just sort of throw the sliced bananas on top, pretending to space them evenly throughout the waffle iron or whatever, but hey, no need to get all precise with this.  They’ll get all smunched into the mix anyway in a moment.
• Close the top tightly:  Assuming you’re waffling and not pancaking, you’ll want to close the lid pretty tight so that the bananas indeed get appropriately smunched into the waffle mix.

TIME TO EAT!
You can optionally drizzle honey or chocolate or syrup over the waffanas or throw whatever toppings you like on top.  But remember that you’ve already got some sweetness from the bananas (especially if they were on the ripe side), so don’t go overboard.  Unless you’re intending to make dessert waffanas, in which case, hey, knock yourself out, sweetie!

TRY WAFFANING AND LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES!
This is my first in a series of absolutely indeterminate frequency and length, called “Cooking for the Lazy.”  If you really like it (and let me know) AND if I end up making other tasty things with my new’ish waffle maker and smoothie maker / blender thingy, then I’ll consider posting more episodes.  For now, though, I’m off to eat some of the waffanas I made earlier.  Let’s see how they are in the toaster or microwave!

EDITED TO ADD:  I can now confirm that they are still amazingly delicious when toasted :-).

IDEAS FOR NEXT TIME:  I think I will try adding shredded coconut.  Or peanut butter.  Or hazelnut-chocolate paste!

—

*And now for a disclaimer and more pretty images:  My Amazon links are affiliate ones, so that maybe I’ll get 30 cents here and there and treat myself to more food.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I’m gonna buy booze for the smoothies.  Don’t judge.  Or judge, I don’t care :-).

The post Waffanas (#1 in Adam’s “Cooking for the Lazy” series) appeared first on adamyntium.

Most likely, you’ll subsequently either communicate uselessly bland info, blatantly misleading info, or no info at all to them in the future.  At a personal level, that’s a bummer for both people.  At a corporate level, the damage ripples throughout society.

*  *  *

The leaking of corporate memos might seem either innocuous, societally useful, or both.  In reality, it is typically neither.

1. It irreparably damages trust and valuable communications within institutions

   Recently, an apparently frank internal report written at the New York Times was leaked.  On principle, I refuse to read or link to it, but from the summaries I saw, it apparently focused on the newspaper’s struggles with digital distribution and declining readership numbers.  Undoubtedly in the future, that organization will blandify future memos and/or starkly curtail their internal distribution… bad for NY Times employees, but also unfortunate for those of us that are readers of that newspaper who depend upon its employment of skilled and motivated reporters.

2. It hurts stockholders and is unhelpful to society at large

   Sure, it’s often fun — sometimes schaudenfreudically so — to learn of company’s struggles and to get insider info on its strategies, tactics, and so on.  One might even argue that this gives actionable information to stockholders of public companies, but IMHO any such advantage is offset by the likely loss of employee morale and productivity and/or damages to compromised competitive intelligence.  Of course, there should be moral exceptions for the leaking of information that is associated with real and immediate threats to safety and security, but beyond that… do we really benefit as a society knowing about changes in a corporate policy, partner realignments, and so on?

In a way, the leaking of corporate memos is a bit like the illicit drug world.  It takes someone to initiate (create the drug for resale, leak the memo), people to distribute (drug runners, bloggers, journalists), and an audience to eagerly consume and share that which provides short-term enjoyment but likely long-term harm.

Given this, my advice is likely to be both unsurprising and yet controversial.  Quit enabling this damaging behavior.  Stop reading these leaked memos, and stop frequenting sites that regularly encourage and feature such leaks.

With that said, I’m not optimistic.  In a firm of, say, 20,000 employees… it takes just one person to be a jerk (and violate their contract).  And we humans are notorious rubberneckers.  But hey, I can dream, right?

The post Relishing those juicy leaked memos? Bad idea. appeared first on adamyntium.