Blah Blah Blog!

The final post! February 2015

2013-01-04T16:13:00.001+07:00

Dear readers,

I've gone through my older blogs and performed some clean ups and tweaks, but these will be the final! I am excited to have a blogger friendly PC once more, but will no longer have ~~specialized~~ separate blogs...
All my thoughts, feelings and ramblings will now be posted on my one blog, and there alone.

Hope you'll join me!

Boots n Beard

Happy New Year

2013-01-01T00:39:00.002+07:00

I'm sorry to say...

2012-11-02T08:35:00.001+07:00

If you've followed my other blogs, you'll know that I've not slipped into a coma or fallen off the edge of the planet. I've still blogged and posted and shot and snapped and am still scribbling away in note books.

This was my first half-decent attempt at a blog, and I love it dearly. I've learnt from it.
Yet I've moved on, and have new ideas and needs!

Yes, dear readers, I am writing a break-up letter...... or more a change of address notification.

I am inviting you to come see me at my new diggs.

That blog will be more specialised than this, like my other sites, but it'll also be the place to find my newest ramblings, wafflings and rantings. Some-things just don't change.

Thank you for reading, and hope to see you there.

From me,

AnonymousC

Creative Juices / Un-dead Poem

2012-06-05T08:47:00.001+07:00

It stinks, pungent, most fowl odours.
Has strange texture, leaving residue on fingers.

It's dry, flaking, cold and chilling.
Its white-blue lacking any vibrance.

Skin has tightened, exposing new boney lumps.
Eyes have sunken, been swallowed deep inside.
Hair has become frazzled, dry, cracking.

All moisture has left, searched out new residence.
A dry well, a withered fruit... this corpse.

All juices have flown, evaporated, gone.
Self-mummified, preserved. Done.

Dry rot for the dead, it creeps and spreads.
Only desire remains, resistant.

Time to think and first to drink!
Absorb, osmosis, gulp, slurp, suck. Consume.

Ideas of others, inspiration... not for reproducing.
A doctor needed, a muse, a life-force.

Pen still in hand, locked by rigor mortis.
Fear for moving, dusty joints, cracked bones.
Slowly rising, driven by hunger.

Preserves, jams. Time to make sweet sounds.
Re----generation, production, construction.

Sentences and smilies, but no heart beat for rhythm.
Yet this zombie will scratch, scrawl a message.

Poetry has died, entombed within.
Time for a resurrection.

A feast, a meal. Fleshy-meaty ideas.
It moans now, groans with reanimation.
...

______________________________________

My three month break has been closer to six. Have had fun exploring other creative out-puts. Maybe you've seen some of my other blogs!?
I have painted, strumed, inked and done lots of reading.
All in the name discovery and self-inspiration.

Right, well this yet unfinished poem seems a good way to say I'm back.

Cheers!

Extended Vacation...

2012-01-21T17:16:00.000+07:00

For the first time in nearly four months I sat down and thought for myself today...

and this is what I realised. I want to take an extended break from blogging! I haven't truely relaxed in all that time. I haven't switched off and resolved things, neither have I enjoyed writing or progressed with my writing skills.

So dear readers, just a few weeks short of our 1st anniversary I am writing to say see you in three months!

Dead Rats

2012-01-20T08:14:00.001+07:00

What's with all the dead rats?
I've seen three, in as many days!
I am used to dead critters and crawling things.
But dead rats in the bathtub, in the garden, all about.
Roadkill is common, a ratty pancake.
Not whole bodied, sleeping, frozen in time.
Rats disgust and make my spine shiver...
Worst yet are dead rats, all bloated and semi-rotten.
They are more offensive, and shock me much more.
Like a very unwelcome/unexpected guest, they appear.
A piece of grit in my eye.
Three is enough, I've seen my fair share.
Let the rats live, or die elsewhere.

Is it wet in here...?

2012-01-14T15:33:00.001+07:00

I know it is humid in the tropics, but crabs in your living room?

I don't even know where the sea is...

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Where I belong.

2012-01-09T07:59:00.000+07:00

I wrote a post for my cousin last week, I had intended it to be a poem... but I was unable to think of anything! So instead I just wrote the random thought in my head. I managed to finish the poem and replaced the original post with it...

That thought was however very important to me, and I still want to share it with you.
So here is the original content:

"The last 9 months of my life have not felt much like living. A kind of limbo, waiting for a time to come. That time suddenly seemed delayed, with yet more waiting... pure agony!

The reason for the waiting seemed less worthwhile during these few days being reuinted with my partner. The time apart necessary to secure our future together, with my family.

Money, which has always been my least favourite thing, the missing brick in our house... more like the missing floor!! We have tried to earn while together, but cultures, visas, prejudices and inequalities have made that impossible. So we had to earn apart.

We are still trying, more urgently since realising we need more then we have.

Being here I felt I belonged and that I did not want to leave, not matter how much I miss my family. Being with my partner and waiting longer to go home feels less like a punishment, than being away from all those I love.

I had strongly grasped that decision yesterday, only to be reminded of the difficulties of being away from home. Learning of the shocking and sad news of my cousin George.

That idea has been challenged again. I have missed so much in the lives of my family, and cannot explain the loss I feel.

It seems the decision of where to be has yet again be re-made."

Eventhough family is important, and I miss them so much. I have to stay where my partner is, I have to make him happy. He makes me so happy without even knowing or trying.

To all those I love, I'm sorry and I miss you. x

For George

2012-01-06T06:42:00.000+07:00

This post is dedicated to George: 1988-2012 R.I.P.

Words for George

Words of comfort,

words for George.

Messages of love,

messages and farewells.

Words are all I can offer.

No hand on shoulder,

no hug, nor.....

Words of comfort,

words for George.

Photos rediscovered.

Memories restored.

Words are all I could offer,

but they have all gone.

Washed away (by tears and fears).

Words of comfort,

words for George.

Hearts left open,

family gathers there.

Pen is so clumsy,

Fingers all numb.

Voices lost in distance,

a chasmic void.

Words for George.

Love for those,

who he left behind.

Happy Holidays

2011-12-24T10:50:00.000+07:00

I am writing this post from a very welcome, cool, calm, free wified and not over-priced cafe in Bali airport.

Am traveling back to the Philippines for a couple of weeks to hang-out with my partner.

Sure I will have plenty to post by the New Year. Until then, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Bus Route 1982

2011-12-14T10:16:00.000+07:00

I have never had much patience, and not knowing is a genuine fear of mine.

If I am waiting for the bus and it doesn't come on time, that thought enters my mind.
What if it never comes, perhaps it has broken down, crashed, disappeared into a newly discovered Bermuda-like triangle!?

It may never come, and there is no-way to find that out. That is what drives me to despair.

My whole life feels like that bus right now. Here I am waiting patiently for it to arrive, it's not a bad spot to wait. It's warm, dry, plenty of entertainment and with food to hand, but I do not want to wait here indefinitely, for a lifetime or eternity.

I am asking myself when the life I have chosen and worked for is going to arrive. I know it has been delayed, postponed, re-routed. I am sure it hasn't been cancelled!

Yet, I still do not know when it will arrive. I do not even know if I am waiting at the right bus stop.

Every time I read the news, talk to people, ask about other bus stops... I realise that I really am waiting at the nicest one. I feel comfortable here, but lonely. I am trying my hardest to get my partner here, and if I succeed, then I will be more inclined to sit and wait.

If I have to wait alone, well, then, I, ...I, maybe?, he, we, ...not a fucking clue!

Lazy by nature...

2011-11-29T11:31:00.001+07:00

What can I say? I am by my nature a lazy person. I'd rather be at home lounging on the floor, with a big cushion, some incense burning and some brainless movie (most likely with zombies) playing while I ignore it and surf the web.

Now, I have got rather good at self-motivation and doing exercise, going on mini-adventures from time to time, even studying, writing, painting, website designing and some other indoor pursuits.

This last few weeks I have tackled some big personal projects and ambitions, having again neglected my blogs. These are however one of my more successful and sustainable interests.

No matter how many weeks I let slip by, I am always sure to find something to say!
I guess being a naturally chatty person with a career focused on speaking helps me to be this way...

I lost my point there, these few weeks have been good, productive, entertaining and informative. Now though I feel that my inner-slob has been overlooked. He is in need of a sofa, a pile of DVDs and hours full of nothing.

Life blog...

2011-11-23T10:02:00.001+07:00

The problem with blogging about life experiences is that, well sometimes life simply gets in the way...

Happy 9 Month Anniversary!

2011-11-09T00:09:00.000+07:00

It has been a long time since I last tried to write a poem, but here is my latest attempt in celebration of us.

For Amahl,

No. 9

Nine days of the week,
is still not time enough with you.
Ninety minutes in an hour,
would just not do!
Nineteen months in a year,
how I fear the time apart.
Nine hundred lifetimes to come,
time enough to perfect this, my art.

United on the ninth,
in front a picture of the Queen.
Elizabeth all regal,
the II graceful all.
Hands tremor, glands wept.
The heat an excuse,
for my dripping anxiety.

Black books offered.
Oaths to curse.
Lines to be rehearsed.
Lizzie forever clutching,
her purse.
Straining to stutter, stammer,
Tongue all swollen, words skipping about.

Done so fast,
Not even time for the cameras to
flash!!
Palms greeted, signatures scribbled.
Sweat still dribbled.
HRH still grinned, the consul fled.
Just us now...

Finally wed!

TeeByMe.co.uk - Our new website!

2011-11-08T12:27:00.000+07:00

Don't worry the Blah Blah Blog isn't moving...

Amahl and I have finally decided to create some money for ourselves by starting a little business. We're already selling our t-shirt designs to some friends, so why not cast a larger net and hope to find other willing fashion(less) followers!?

Our website is now live, although not fully finished...

I won't give away what we're all about, but here is a sneak peak!

Have a look for yourself! www.teebyme.co.uk

Images are the copyright of TeeByMe.

Where is this temple?

2011-10-26T12:31:00.000+07:00

Blah in the Buff!: Time to get my clothes off!

Can anyone help identify this temple? Is it near Ubud, Bali?

This post contains images of nudity:

And then...

All writers, read.

2011-10-15T09:58:00.000+07:00

I have been urging myself, insisting in my mind, to read more. I have so many books here that I want to read. I feel unable to choose which to read next, changing my decision with each glance at a 'blurb'.

But I have been successful, in reviving my desire to read. I have just digested three whole chapters and am rather enjoying the book I started nearly two months ago. I may even finish reading it today! What a sense of accomplishment that can bring.

Still I have neglected my writing and my blogging. As I seem to do on a cyclical basis.
Like the moon I have great out-pourings of posts and updates, tweaks and improvements, even new blog pages. Then without warning I fade, dim and almost seem to disappear.

I am here readers, I am reading and enjoying gaining new knowledge. This is my truest of passions. I like to learn, now that I have finished my education. If only I had enjoyed it so much back then...

So as all writers should do, I will read. Not to copy or quote but to discover new words and phrases, new ideas, new styles and feel inspired to continue my own writing adventures.

How to access an external USB HDD on Android Honeycomb tablet!

2011-10-07T09:57:00.000+07:00

I have been wrestling with my Western Digital TB for the last three days. I am using an ACER Iconia A500 tablet, which after updates is running version 3.2 Honeycomb.

Right away I was unable to connect the harddrive through the usb port. I have trolled through multiple forums looking for the answer. I have avoided apps and "rooting" or anything to do with coding. For someone with no experience of these things it was all too scary.

I stuck to the advice of others about formats and partition. I have played around with several combinations, each with different success. I have used EXT4 and EXT2, and mostly FAT32. I have tried 30GB partitions and 60GB partitions, plus one or two GB here or there.

I had started to accept that my best option was 60GB (64GB didn't seem to work) in FAT32, with the rest of the harddrive only accessible on Windows or other Linux.

I tried 120GB, I never tried 90, I tried combinations of FAT and the EXTs in hope of being able to read two drives. All with no success.

Then I had an accidental discovery. I had created a 60GB EXT4 partion as the 1st drive. After was a 500GB FAT32 partition plus a third partition also FAT32 of 440GB, which contained my files.

This seemed to work some magic spell over the android, which skipped the first partition and read the 2nd one of 490-odd GB. Some space was lost when it created the 'LOST.DIR' file.

So I went back a reduced the first partition to 30GB, EXT4, bumped the second by 30GB.
It still worked... Fantastic!! I do not know why it would not be possible to have the second partition as the remaining 970GB. However, I have no-where to put my files and do the format right now. So I do not know for sure. Maybe it is even possible to reduce the 30GB partition even further.

I am happy to have achieved this much for now.

I realise there are downsides to the FAT32 format but the tablet is able to read the drive without need for sleep-mode, restarting or waiting more than a minute to load.

So for anyone else out there who has as little knowledge as me, I suggest creating a partition structure like this:

Partition 1; size: 30GB file system: EXT4
Partition 2; size: remaining GB file system: FAT32

If anyone tries shrinking the first partition size please let me know, also if anyone meets a maximum second partition size... Cheers and enjoy!!

Out of blur!

2011-10-06T11:33:00.003+07:00

These last few weeks I have been finding it very hard to focus on one thing. After all the hype that is the last week of term, I have found myself with absolutely nothing to do!!

I knew this was coming and told myself I was content with the pile of books to read, the painting I had planned to do and with more writing, especially a poem... maybe two!?

Well, aside from the semi-coma like state I have slipped into, I have been unable to get anything done! Too much to do... and each as potentially enjoyable as the next.

Today I finally managed to get the painting finished and am here now writing this post, but no poem yet! My sense of accompishment has been somewhat stunted by feeling inspired to create more paintings! One thing done, two more to do......

Will be heading off to Gramedia (local stationary lovers heaven) this afternoon in search of more canvas and some other spray paint colours.

Hope this little post is enough to keep the blog ticking over until I am back to the hum-drum of work next week.

Things are becoming out of focus once more!

He's just not funny...

2011-09-25T09:10:00.001+07:00

I sometimes miss those few people who grew to accept my sense of humour, and those even fewer people who appreciated it.
Save for a handful of European backpackers, who spent one winter in Beijing, most people don't think I am funny. I agree!

Often my jokes are mistaken for angry snaps. I don't get why.
Maybe I am better at acting than at being funny. Who knows?!
I certainly feel that my skills are better developed for creative areas that do not require an immediate audience.

I have returned, more & more, to those secluded creative activities that actually do make me happy. Now, I am more willing to share the results. Watch this space for my attempt at drawing people!

It occurred to me last night that I felt pressured into taking a sensible degree at university, one that would help me find a career. I don't know where that pressure came from. Peers, family, teachers or within!?
But it came, and I broke my art teachers heart when he asked what I had chosen to do.
Mr Thomas, why didn't you change my mind?
I never have regrets, but if I could do it again! I would have done an arts degree. Well, I mean, Environmental Science hasn't done me much good has it?

My partner is a very creative person, and I was happy to sit back and enjoy observing him creating things. I was happy when he was happy with his work.
Being around him has re-inspired me to do things too. I am beginning to realise that, the things I left the UK searching for... were already there.
I had just chosen to ignore them.

As the time approaches to return to the UK, I feel that I am coming full circle in my life. Maybe I am actually discovering who I am, a re-discovery?
Not to sound too clichéd.

Thing is, I even like this person, he is interesting, creative, a little spiritual, likes being naked, cannot make a joke - certainly is not funny, enjoys simple things, is often boring, lazy but contrary to recent behaviour is very sociable.

I know him well, like an old ragged soft toy.

Swoop, over my head...

2011-09-15T07:42:00.002+07:00

Over the years I have realised my own cultural assumptions cannot be applied in every country.
Gestures, facial expressions, expectations, what is and isn't polite or what is considered unacceptable.

Each time I learn of my cultural 'norms' failure to work in a country, I abandon it... mostly subconsciously.
I have over time stopped using phrases, gestures and more. I guess my communication has become simplified and surprisingly based more gestures and looks. Using "universal" body language, hand movements and facial expressions.

Although I have clung desperately onto 'over the top of my head' swooping hand gesture. I haven't yet found a better alternative for I don't understand.

For a long time now I haven't met this wall of lost meaning.

I had adopted the finger slicing my forehead to mean crazy, here in Indonesia, but hadn't had any problems with my own gestures.

This week I learnt that holding your hand out, palm up and slightly cupped has no meaning whatsoever and met with confusion when I asked my students what complaint I might be making in a shop.

Of course, to some people this gesture obviously means "give (it to) me". A demand made to children, and hand waiting for change in a shop. Here though your change is dumped on the counter and slid across to you, something I found very rude at first... especially with my hand hovering in anticipation.

Now I know that this has no meaning, but am also aware of losing my own cultural norms. I wonder, will I stop thrusting my hand forward?

On a side note, I also realised that having never seen hail in their life most Indonesians do not know how it should look. Rather amusingly my students, when asked to draw different forms of weather, drew falling ice cubes/blocks of ice rather than frozen water droplets.

5,000 Viewers!

2011-09-14T07:37:00.001+07:00

Sometime around 3am last night, the 5,000th visitor arrived on the Blah Blah Blog... just felt that this milestone was worthy of a mention.
Thanks to you all! :)

His smile.

2011-09-14T07:11:00.000+07:00

A smile is all it takes,
a blazeof teeth,
pearly whites,
lips parting, release those gums.
A smile, so simple.
It can cleanse, refresh,
wipe away a troubled day.
A shower, in a flash.
A smile, so juicy,
so sweet, so tasty,
a sugar rush,
to recharge these batteries.
A smile, a smile,
No downer from this drug,
of the most addictive.

An instant fire.
Smile! Say cheese,
Light me up, make me burn.
Refill the vacant void.
Please babe, just smile once more.

...the lost flipflop!

2011-09-13T13:15:00.001+07:00

It seems last night was the start of an eventful day.

Cycling into work this morning, my bike chain slipped and then got lodged between the gears. Leaving me stuck in the middle of one the largest and busiest junctions in Surabaya.

With the chain unable to move, my pedals locked... knocking my right flipflop flying under a truck.

I had to jump off my bike and run across the last half of the junction, just as the lights changed and the traffic started coming at me from left and right.

Rescue for the lost flipflop was a game, not willing to play, of chicken! Besides, I had to grab the chain and yank it back into place...

Tonight I will ride home barefoot, as locals do. I don't mind.

I feel a sense of loss for my flipflop, which I have worn everday for a year. And which I got with Amahl in his hometown, in Mindanao.

*Update: I forgot to mention the big blister on my right foot, which got burnt after standing on the boiling tarmac in the midday heat. Ouch!

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Sleepless in Surabaya

2011-09-13T10:41:00.003+07:00

Got woken up around midnight when a mosquito bit my forehead! It hurt, bloody hurt.... the buggers wouldn't stop buzzing around in my ear.

Then I noticed the aching feeling in my legs, cycling has proven more tiring than I had imagined. Am much looking forward to having super toned legs.

I soon gave up on sleep, and went for a pee. By then I was really awake and noticed the sound of my flatmates AC. Which sounded like a tractor in the front garden!

Next thing I realised is I felt hungry, and went in search of a snack.

On my return to my room, my door wouldn't close properly. I turned on the light to investigate. A poor gecko had got trapped between the door and the frame. It was utterly squashed, like a pancake. All fresh and gooey!

I was so tired, I thought to wait 'til morning to clean it up...
I tried to close the door, only to be greeted by a squelching sound. At the time I was so tired and frustrated, the memory now is making me gag.

I cleaned it up, including the juices running down the frame and headed back to bed.

Two hours had almost passed, and I was wide awake. So I decided to try playing a game on my phone. It wouldn't work, and still won't now... guess needs reinstalling!

I was desperate to find something to help me drift back to sleep.
It was already 2am. I added a post on 'Blah in the Buff!' and put on an episode of Friends. Sure enough I was asleep within 10 minutes.

I guess everyone has a night like that sometimes? Sure has been the most eventful sleepless-night I ever had.